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[–]all_the_data 5491 points5492 points  (97 children)

The most nonchalant catch ever. What every outfielder thinks they look like...

[–]ShortchangeParamecia 2722 points2723 points  (45 children)

"I totally look like a gorilla catching a pretzel." -Every Outfielder

[–]jorgomli 404 points405 points  (19 children)

"shoulda popped that shirt off."

[–]DaClems 202 points203 points  (10 children)

"I've got the hide of a gorilla, a beautiful, beautiful gorilla person. My body is achieving a perfect simian treat right now."

[–]yankee913 77 points78 points  (5 children)

That gorilla hasn't even begun to peak

[–]asajosh 17 points18 points  (0 children)

OMG I almost fell out of my chair laughing at this!

[–]vysearcadia 54 points55 points  (2 children)

I've got the stride of a gazelle. A beautiful, beautiful gazelle person.

[–]Criblu 10 points11 points  (0 children)

But what about the implication?

[–]deesnuts 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Mitts out for harambe

[–]young_deeezy 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Ahh the good ol “catch the ball then proceed to walk on my knuckles”

[–]shit_hits_the_can 16 points17 points  (9 children)

Loled at subway

[–]ushutuppicard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

sorry to hear that. thats the hoagie equivalent to getting a frozen pizza.

[–]ImWhatTheySayDeaf 5 points6 points  (7 children)

Mmmm Subway..home of $5 foot long

[–]akatherder 5 points6 points  (5 children)

Former home. Also these things aren't even 12 inches, wtf.

[–]Van5195 2 points3 points  (3 children)

They put the same amount on either way tho.

[–]akatherder 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I meant former home of the $5 footlong. That promotion and the commercials have been dead for a while. They have specials every once in a while for a few subs at $5, but most of the franchises around me don't offer that price.

And the subs have never been 12 inches so they've always been giving us 11 inches of meat and cheese on 11 inches of bread. Bastards.

[–]UnfinishedProjects 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Memories of yore

[–]Ghostwrite-The-Whip 13 points14 points  (1 child)

Wow, funniest comment of the day already, now I have nothing to look forward to. Thanks.

[–]Dlegs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I was thinking the same thing about this post in general. What could possibly top a gorilla casually catching a pretzel?

[–]BALONYPONY 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That was me verbatim last week in softball.

[–]mcbreatz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My vote changed total from 1.9k to 2k. This is what power feels like.

[–]droidtron 393 points394 points  (11 children)

It's a line drive to Mojo in left field.

[–]tepkel 71 points72 points  (7 children)

Pray for Mojo.

[–]mart1373 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Pray for Mojo Jojo — Powerpuff Girls

[–]LyingForTruth 35 points36 points  (1 child)

The episode where he figures out it was his fault the girls were made, fucking classic.

[–]mileylols 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was me. It was me.

[–]KoalaBackfist 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mojo, what have they done to you!!

[–]ELEMENTALITYNES 39 points40 points  (0 children)

That's a Bartolo Colon comebacker

[–]Damasticator 15 points16 points  (3 children)

[–]CornOnTheColby 8 points9 points  (2 children)

That’s one of the first movies that I remember as a like 7 or 8 year old thinking “wow, this movie is terrible”

[–]Renegade909 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My spirit animal, a mix of outfielder and fatass.

[–]Spewmja4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice catch, don't ever fucking do it again.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]ElMostaza 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    I knew someone would beat me to it. Upvoted.

    [–]hehethattickles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Nice catch Hayes, don't ever fucking do it again.

    [–]MrCooper2012 1691 points1692 points  (173 children)

    Pretty fucking clean catch.

    [–]Jv199142069 701 points702 points  (24 children)

    Pretty fucking clean throw as well

    [–]cords55 113 points114 points  (22 children)

    Right in the black.

    [–]mylastnameispussy 173 points174 points  (20 children)

    is that what they call US Police weapons training?

    [–]ph4mp573r 76 points77 points  (12 children)

    You're going to hell, Mr Pussy.

    [–]mylastnameispussy 13 points14 points  (10 children)

    for a second I straight up thought you'd actually said my real last name and i thought "which one of my friends is stalking my account this time"

    [–]AntonSugar 96 points97 points  (140 children)

    The ease of that catch reminds me how capable animals really are. They would laugh at us if they knew how much most humans struggle athletically.

    [–]uberbama 135 points136 points  (89 children)

    But, as far as throwing and catching go, not really. We’re insanely good at those, especially the former, relatively speaking.

    [–][deleted]  (87 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]DarkOmen597 31 points32 points  (33 children)

      Also, long distance running

      [–][deleted]  (31 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]TheCrankyMule 20 points21 points  (19 children)

        This is true. Humans have very large lungs and were basically built for long distance running. Ancient tribes on the plains used to hunt wild gazelle/deer etc by just running after them, sometimes for hours and hours until the prey eventually passed out from exhaustion

        [–]daspanda1 12 points13 points  (0 children)

        We also have hands that we can carry water with and coverings to keep us shaded from the sun. We could out pace any animal in the world just by being more determined.

        [–]BabiesSmell 41 points42 points  (23 children)

        Men are better at most or all athletics. Throwing especially makes sense, since men hunted.

        [–]margananagram 35 points36 points  (8 children)

        Hunting makes sense because men throw better.

        [–]wycliffslim 12 points13 points  (13 children)

        Basically any athletic venture that requires strength/endurance the average man will outperform women simply due to biology.

        However, women can compete on an even field in many other sports. Archery and target shooting are two sports that have been rapidly gaining popularity with women because they can compete on a level playing field with men.

        [–]beardedbast3rd 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        Damn, time to open up imitating gun sounds as a sport so is men can retain dominance

        [–]daspanda1 3 points4 points  (2 children)

        I once saw someone kill a duck with a well placed rock. We later ate it. It was delicious. Also I've once thrown a rock and that made my brother's head spout blood like a fountain. It was insane. The sound it made. The puff of dust and the way his hair moved. The moment of silence and the finale, his head turning into the bellagio. It was honestly like a scene out of a movie.

        [–]thsFCN 8 points9 points  (1 child)

        Calm down, man, you sound like a serial killer.

        [–]Biquet 56 points57 points  (5 children)

        Lots of humans are executing extremely precise and coordinated actions in various circumstances (sports, art,...).

        That gorilla caught a Pretzl.

        [–]Robby_Fabbri 21 points22 points  (2 children)

        Iunno, I think that Gorilla has a future as a center fielder for the Mets. Can't teach that kind of confidence.

        [–]supremedalek925 24 points25 points  (10 children)

        I recall reading that humans have the most superior blend of throwing strength and accuracy in the animal kingdom, so we have that going for us.

        [–]Beetin 50 points51 points  (8 children)

        WHERE IN THE RULEBOOK DOES IT SAY A 700 POUND SILVERBACK GORILLA CAN'T PITCH IN THE MLB?

        [–]philonius 16 points17 points  (6 children)

        Page 21, right after the line "dogs cannot be outfielders even if they are very good boys."

        [–]Myceliated 7 points8 points  (4 children)

        Good thing it doesn't say anything about angels being outfielders

        [–]philonius 2 points3 points  (3 children)

        Page 24: celestial beings are specifically restricted from being outfielders. This does not apply to players whose first name is "Angel."

        Related, page 25: Coaches may not make a deal with the devil in order to win the pennant.

        [–]personalcheesecake 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        apex predators! woooo!

        [–]kilo-kos 12 points13 points  (1 child)

        until they see how long we can keep running from our problems

        [–]Feudal_Raptor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Hopefully none of my problems have a reach over about 75 meters.

        [–]imlost19 5 points6 points  (0 children)

        I'm pretty sure it was a human who precision striked that pretzel right into his hand tho

        [–][deleted]  (12 children)

        [deleted]

          [–]ErrantTraveller 40 points41 points  (3 children)

          You weren't even talking to me, and yet I feel the heat off that burn.

          [–]ProfaneBlade 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          oh fuck

          [–]7years3accounts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Seriously, I don't really exercise, but I still have a decent pitch honed by beer pong, cornhole, and darts (not the same as a strong overhand throw, but it makes your depth perception better). I'm fairly confident I could peg something in the head with a stone if I had to.

          [–]DylanMarshall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Why does it have to be IT tho?

          [–]polksio 15 points16 points  (4 children)

          Smooth af, that gorilla fucks

          [–]MackLuster77 3602 points3603 points  (41 children)

          He's looking for his wife. She has him on a low carb diet.

          [–]greyhatox 43 points44 points  (9 children)

          Best comment.. Must be Keto Diet

          [–]DesignGhost 21 points22 points  (7 children)

          Don't knock it til you try it.

          [–]FartSparkles 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          I crave a soft pretzel with mustard more than anything.

          [–]Itroll4love 22 points23 points  (0 children)

          shell go bananas if she finds out.

          [–]VP-Propaganda 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          He's got to work on his cholesterol

          [–]electricmaster23 9 points10 points  (0 children)

          This guy diets.

          [–]nurimoons 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          And I can smell that gut buster oozing out of your pores Hal, you're going to be on a low carb diet for a week!

          [–]JabberMoxie 2775 points2776 points  (92 children)

          Deception is one of the best methods for determining higher intelligence levels. When handing out treats, apes (especially orangutans) have been known to immediately “palm” or otherwise hide the treat and act as if they didn’t get one yet. Requires the animal’s brain to consider others and attempt to work out what they’re thinking.

          (Source: I’m always studying up on the subject and I’m tired of discussing the details with my pets, who don’t seem to care. On the plus side, they don’t downvote me or talk about my mom.)

          [–]ThorHammerslacks 662 points663 points  (55 children)

          Hey, it's me, your cat... I totally downvote you. This morning I downvoted you just to push you to zero so people would latch on and start a downvote train.

          Also, my foodbowl is empty. If When you need me, I'll be in the sun.

          [–]chalkiest_studebaker 403 points404 points  (19 children)

          Also, my foodbowl is empty I can see the bottom of my food bowl, so you're gonna have to move that shit around for me.

          [–]philonius 26 points27 points  (0 children)

          My cat will push the food over to the edge of the bowl so that it mounds up and starts to spill over the back rim. Then she comes and gets me so she can show me her "empty" bowl.

          [–]diddlez 91 points92 points  (3 children)

          this guy reddits

          [–]LHoT10820 4 points5 points  (2 children)

          When cats whiskers are rubbing up against the foodbowl it is highly irritating for them. This is why they don't go for the food in the corner, start serving their kibble on a small plate and this issue will stop.

          [–]mikeman442 17 points18 points  (4 children)

          Hey, it’s me, your other cat........ fuck your mom.......meow.....

          [–]ThorHammerslacks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Mike, you responded to me, your brother and littermate.

          Jabber's mom is the best. I think you're jealous.

          Also, quit flicking your goddamn tail, it's pissing me off.

          flicks tail

          [–]j0324ch 59 points60 points  (25 children)

          Side note, it's funny/sad how that works. People will see the 0 or -1 and the downvote becomes reflexive.

          [–]misterwizzard 54 points55 points  (6 children)

          People, in general, are stupid.

          [–]BeastOfWeaverHigh 8 points9 points  (3 children)

          We like to shame and hurt people when we're in groups.

          [–]From_Deep_Space 38 points39 points  (2 children)

          I read that squirrels are some of the first non-primate animals seen using deception. If they think they're being watched hiding their nut or w/e they will dig a hole, pretend to put their food into it, then go bury it somewhere else.

          [–]QuietCakeBionics 21 points22 points  (1 child)

          There's also birds that use some deception in the form of fake alarm calls. This is an interesting article about it:

          '... drongos, which are about the size of a scrub jay, make false alarm calls, causing their listeners to drop whatever juicy morsels they were dining on and flee the scene. Meanwhile the deceptive birds have swooped in and made off with their victim's meal.

          They imitate their victim's alarm call or that of another species. The discovery reveals that drongos are paying surprisingly close attention to their target's responses to their calls—perhaps even employing a type of sophisticated cognition that researchers usually reserve for humans only. '

          https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/05/140501-drongo-kalahari-desert-meerkat-mimicry-science/?beta=true

          Also Scrub jays move their food if another bird is watching:

          http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8035950.stm

          [–]DecorationOnly 25 points26 points  (1 child)

          They do it on throwaway accounts.

          [–]JabberMoxie 22 points23 points  (0 children)

          I fucking knew it!!!!!!! MOXIE!!!!!!!!

          [–]boones_farmer 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          Please invite you mom over more often, she gives the best pets.

          Sincerely, Your Cat

          [–]MartinTheBean 6 points7 points  (1 child)

          Your mom is a very nice lady.

          [–]braomius 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          I got a treat for your mom and I think she's knows what I'm thinking

          [–]QuietCakeBionics 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Yeah I was going to mention this. I was reading zookeepers accounts of orangutans and gorillas hiding fruit in order to get another piece. One orangutan was hiding an orange under their foot and pretended that it had rolled away.

          I was reading up on this topic myself today, I have these three open in tabs:

          Intentional deception in primates - https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/evan.1360010306

          Cooperation and deception in primates - https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0163638316301825

          https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-moral-lives-animals/201112/those-lying-apes

          [–]daddyfly 393 points394 points  (6 children)

          it's not the first time he's done this.

          [–]down_vote_magnet 117 points118 points  (3 children)

          I can’t believe you’ve done this.

          [–]RabSimpson 65 points66 points  (1 child)

          Ah fuck.

          [–]DoubleHawk4Life 23 points24 points  (0 children)

          So basically, what I'm thinking is-

          [–]truejamo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          I read this in his accent.

          [–]J_leo3 197 points198 points  (2 children)

          Or to see if anybody caught that sick basket catch

          [–]Robby_Fabbri 53 points54 points  (1 child)

          "anybody get that web gem?"

          [–]J_leo3 27 points28 points  (0 children)

          no? haha damn iight

          [–]MrMrRogers 96 points97 points  (21 children)

          Longer version of the video where you see the gorilla signing to the human that he cannot be fed.

          https://youtu.be/TGUdbiVWZYM

          [–]Harperlarp 356 points357 points  (8 children)

          Pretty good throw to be fair.

          [–]Zs2k 173 points174 points  (4 children)

          I’m looking at that grab, seamless execution by the offense and that’ll give them the first

          [–]eorld 32 points33 points  (0 children)

          You know, there's no rule against gorillas playing football...

          [–]Sexgeyser420noscope 50 points51 points  (1 child)

          You're not exactly threading needles while aiming at a GORILLA

          [–]Harperlarp 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          You are when you aim for his hand and he moves his hand to catch the item, but then he realises that your throw was so good he has to move his hand back to the original spot to catch it.

          [–]douchechk 51 points52 points  (4 children)

          The way he sits makes me want to sit by him and get a conversation going.

          [–]CommenceTheWentz 30 points31 points  (0 children)

          “So uh, read any good books lately?”

          “I’m a fucking gorilla, mate”

          [–]StoneGoldX 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          And then he rips out your eyes and testicles to assert dominance.

          [–]MSX4EVA 151 points152 points  (17 children)

          It's like someone threw a mobile over the wall of the prison.

          [–]Normacont 109 points110 points  (66 children)

          I love Gorillas and monkeys, they fascinate me so much how similar they are to us and how they can do things we can do, such as catching and throwing.

          [–]Pluvialis 72 points73 points  (54 children)

          Imagine if all the earlier species of humans hadn't gone extinct. There were like a dozen closer species than chimps to us.

          [–]Maca_Najeznica 97 points98 points  (27 children)

          I'm glad they did go extinct, otherwise we would treat them as shit like we do all other species and throughout the most of history people of different race then our own.

          [–]personalcheesecake 49 points50 points  (9 children)

          Just going to say it probably wasn't going extinct.. probably more like genocide.. but that was long ago.

          [–]munomana 18 points19 points  (3 children)

          I thought that interbreeding and disease were more likely culprits

          [–]personalcheesecake 9 points10 points  (2 children)

          Yeah probably a mixture of those.

          [–]Shloopadoop 2 points3 points  (1 child)

          This most likely. With countless interactions at different places and times, there were probably a lot of all of those; disease, genocide, and some Romeo-and-Juliets in there for good measure.

          [–]quieres_pelear 23 points24 points  (3 children)

          I highly recommend reading "A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari. Very interesting and engaging read.

          [–]Valac_ 5 points6 points  (1 child)

          Wasn't there a point in time we both existed and we did exactly that?

          I can't remember if that was a documentary or a TV show I was watching.

          But the first homosapians commuted genocide on the homoerectus or whatever.

          [–]Valac_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Edit I spelled so much shit wrong that I can't be bothered to fix it.

          [–]Sjsamdrake 28 points29 points  (23 children)

          Um, doesn't "hadn't gone extinct" mean "hadn't all been killed by us"? They didn't just disappear, they LOST.

          [–]Bossman01 26 points27 points  (0 children)

          Partially correct, but they also assimilated into our society. If you look at the DNA of most European people you will see that we have a small percentage that is Neanderthal

          Source: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neanderthal_genome_project

          [–]ZiIIah 16 points17 points  (16 children)

          There is no good evidence to suggest how they went extinct. Like, given what we know about Homo Sapiens my gut says we probably murdered them, but it's conjecture.

          [–]exikon 11 points12 points  (4 children)

          Also fucked them. So not all was lost for them. We just killed them and stole their women!

          [–]Serpico__ 15 points16 points  (2 children)

          What is best in life?

          [–]Zoner1501 16 points17 points  (0 children)

          To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of the women!

          [–]KillerNumber2 10 points11 points  (0 children)

          Settle down there Conan.

          [–]swill128 6 points7 points  (10 children)

          Like literally every species on this planet, we fucked who we could, and killed anyone that got in our way. Any species extant today is here because it's ancestors did the same thing. It's called survival.

          [–]acidictoes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          I think about this way too often. It must have been pretty scary

          [–]wilsonshattuck 12 points13 points  (6 children)

          It is very cool, but worth noting humans are wayyyy better at throwing. It's a very underrated human ability imo.

          [–]alienufosarereal 198 points199 points  (24 children)

          Someone else mentioned this the last time it was posted, but apparently this puts the gorilla in a very stressful situation. If a superior gorilla sees him with something special, he could get pretty messed up. He looks first to see if the leader saw him catch it so he can hand if over if he has to.

          [–]TheAmazingAaron 122 points123 points  (13 children)

          This looks like Zoo Atlanta (edit, on second look I'm not thinking Atlanta). The keepers were tossing them apple slices last time I was there so that's probably what's happening in the gif. The silverback did get thrown way more treats and the rest went to the matriarch. One was snatched by a younger male and a big fight broke out. Thanks for explaining the dynamic behind this!

          [–]Chris_skeleton 35 points36 points  (2 children)

          Yeah, I'd love to know how OP figured it was a pretzel from this gif.

          [–]seemonkey 81 points82 points  (1 child)

          Because of the salt on top

          [–]geoffyou 19 points20 points  (6 children)

          I was at the Cincinnati zoo a few years back and actually watched the trainer do a presentation and throw apple wedges to Harambe. This looks like the same sort of situation. I can’t imagine it’s a park goer doing this, but then again, I couldn’t imagine a kid jumping that barrier either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

          [–]electrikyle 3 points4 points  (1 child)

          I thought Zoo ATL as well! But I don't recognize the structure in the back - Zoo ATL's are a bit more natural looking in the gorilla yard. The keepers do regularly toss fruit though. Title is sensationalized to make it seem like the gorilla is doing something he's not supposed to do and eating something he's not supposed to eat.

          [–]YumScrumptious96 46 points47 points  (6 children)

          From what I saw, he looks to be the silverback in this group. I don't think there'd be any senior gorilla with him as that'd be incredible foolish of the zoo.

          [–]Scienciety 25 points26 points  (1 child)

          His wife would like a word with you.

          [–]Enlight1Oment 16 points17 points  (3 children)

          Actually that's how almost all zoo's allocate them because that's how they are in the wild. Look up gorilla bachelor groups.

          Essentially there is one big Silverback with a group of female and younger kids. But other males when they reach a certain age are kicked out and live in bachelor groups.

          [–]_WaxMan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Know where I can find video of something like this happening? Sounds interesting.

          [–]Chronicling 107 points108 points  (15 children)

          I like how when he eats it, he tries to make it look like he's just itching is face.

          "Nothing to see here, just scratching my face boss."

          Edit: Can you not itch an itch?

          [–]btmcbrayer 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          It looks like he gives it a discreet sniff to ensure it’s edible first too.

          [–]mylastnameispussy 10 points11 points  (1 child)

          "is this poo? no? guess I'll still eat it"

          [–]test822 20 points21 points  (0 children)

          lmao how low-key he is about it

          [–]misterwizzard 26 points27 points  (13 children)

          What a smooth motherfucker. That was a hell of a catch, I'm really surprised they have this much hand-eye coordination when it comes to moving projectiles. it's not like they play baseball or anything.

          [–]raddits 13 points14 points  (0 children)

          Disney: hold my beer

          [–]exikon 13 points14 points  (8 children)

          I mean, they usually jump around trees. It's not to different from determining how you have to move your hand to grab the branch youre flying towards.

          [–]hostess_cupcake 7 points8 points  (2 children)

          That's me when I eat something off the floor. "What? Oh....n-nothing...it's only been 4 seconds."

          [–]LegendaryFalcon 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          Softest of catches.

          [–]Doyle_Johnson 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          Reminder: don't feed the animals.

          [–]RustiDome 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          I'm more impressed by his seamless catch.

          [–]captainfashion 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          That throw was MLB quality. He had to basically turn his hand over to catch it.

          [–]Tyepyre 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          That gorilla has no right being that smooth lmfao

          [–]Sue-yee 7 points8 points  (0 children)

          Gorillas like all kinds of food like lasagna, just ask Tracy Morgan he owns the Brooklyn zoo

          [–]FanBoyisms 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          When you sneak out to get something out of the fridge at 2am

          [–]Papanoelfoot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          Smoooth

          [–]DevilDawgs4TRUMP 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          that is the most G Unit catch I have ever seen. Too cool for skewl.

          [–]zimtrovert94 3 points4 points  (0 children)

          Dodgers NEED this gorilla right now!

          [–]halpinator 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          Probably looking around like, "anybody see that sweet catch?"

          [–]Zakayel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

          "Yo you got the stuff? Let me get it.....dont throw it so high man! I got the one time right behind me...we good"

          [–]justbutler_tx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

          That hand/eye coordination is on point.