top 200 commentsshow all 276

[–]jimmythemini 242 points243 points  (58 children)

Jeez, Norweigans are getting plenty of opportunities to act smug these past few days

[–]sneijder 41 points42 points  (3 children)

Norway has its downsides.

There’s typically only three flavours of Pringles in the shop.

Also, if the National Day (17 May) falls on a Saturday or Sunday, you don’t get an alternative (Friday or Monday) day off instead. I end up with 34 instead of 35 days paid days off if that happens. Unless I’m moving house, then I’ll get an extra paid day back.

Torture sometimes.

[–]real_sadboi 13 points14 points  (0 children)

35 paid off days??? Fuck...

[–]OK6502 2 points3 points  (1 child)

35 statutory holidays or 35 days of paid leave?

[–]sneijder 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Paid leave with National holidays added.

Working hours are a bit ‘rubbery’ in Norway too. If it’s a belting summer day on a Friday, offices are empty at 14:00 ... cut/paste if it’s winter and just dumped a load of snow. The traffic jam to the mountains starts 16:00.

Folk will start work early though. I start getting emails from early birds at 06:00 sometimes.

It can be a pain in the ass though, dropping your car off at a main dealer you’ll be told the workshop closes at 16:30 in ‘summer time’.

[–]metahivemind 129 points130 points  (47 children)

They've got Fuck You country investment fund money.

[–]W00DERS0N 63 points64 points  (46 children)

Not only that, their infrastructure is wild. Brand new tunnels all over the place. Tromsö has a whole underground road system with roundabouts, it’s mind blowing to his American who’s praying we get a new rail tunnel across the Hudson in my lifetime.

[–]ZmeiOtPirin 78 points79 points  (14 children)

Tromsö has a whole underground road system

Ooh you weren't kidding.

Are we sure the Norwegians aren't descendant from dwarves?

[–]Gamlebyen 30 points31 points  (2 children)

But that's Hardanger, in western Norway. Tromsø is northern Norway

[–]ZmeiOtPirin 14 points15 points  (1 child)

Huh, well that's what came off my Tromsø google search. It still shows underground roundabouts in Norway which I think was the point of the post, not exactly where they are.

[–]gormhornbori 4 points5 points  (0 children)


Underground roundabouts is becoming a standard solution in Norway, there are lots of them, but the first underground roundabouts were in Tromsø, and Tromsø has the largest tunnel system. The main system in Tromsø has 3 roundabouts (i think) and 5 or 6 exits for cars (3 around the city center, 1 next to the airport and one next to the university and hospital.), and a underground parking facility.

But thats deceptible, because there are more tunnels, you often just pop into the daylight for 20m before you enter a new 5km tunnel. And more tunnels are planned almost but not quite connected. The ventilation get too complicated if you add more exits to the same system.

[–]Mountainbranch 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Norway went in the opposite direction from the Saudi. Using the oil money to ensure welfare and stability instead of proxy wars and genocide.

[–]Revoran 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Norway was already in a peaceful region surrounded by friendly rich countries. They didn't have to worry about their neighbours (well except for the Russian border which is far away from Norway's population centers). They also had a long history of being a united country with a long history of responsible government.

Not so for Saudi, who are a new state surrounded by unstable poor countries, some of which don't like them.

Not defending their shit though. Dead civilians are still dead civilians any way you look at it.

[–]Cohibaluxe 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Here’s a video of the actual tunnel, which I can confirm is correct as I drive there every day.

[–]Hienag89 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They recreated it in Euro Truck Simulator 2. So fun to drive. I'm envious!

[–]firthy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Pleasingly rustic finish to their tunnels too.

[–]jockel37 2 points3 points  (1 child)

call on meeeee call on me!

[–]BiteSizeRudy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm the same boy I used to be

[–]continuousQ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They just help out sometimes.

[–]psaux_grep 23 points24 points  (27 children)

Sure, the tunnels in Tromsø are particular, but a lot of the roads in Norway is in a bad state and under dimensioned. Most new roads are paid for as toll roads increasing the financial burden on the people who happen to live next to these sections of road or has to travel on them.

Rail development in Norway is ridiculous, and we keep insisting on building tunnels using dynamite instead of tunnel boring machines because someone decided to use a rail TBM to build a road tunnel about 50 years ago (or something) and the diameter wasn’t sufficient for a two lane road so they still had to use conventional techniques in addition.

On smaller tunnels TBM’s aren’t cost effective, but on larger projects they have many advantages and much less prone to cost overruns and other problems often common to conventional tunnel driving techniques.

If you look to Oslo there are needed infrastructure projects that was planned in the 80’s that still hasn’t been started because of political bickering and no ability to think more than one term ahead. And when they planned roads in the 90’s they deliberately under dimensioned them.

The maintenance deficit on Norwegian roads was said to be 50 years a few years back. And we have the lowest average speed between major cities of any European country. We used to be ahead of Albania, but even they have overtaken us now.

[–]sneijder 8 points9 points  (1 child)

They’ve raised speed limits to 110km/h all around me in the past two years.

[–]psaux_grep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mind you, average speed hasn’t changed (saw a quote on that a week or two ago actually, but don’t remember who or where).

[–]metahivemind 6 points7 points  (11 children)

Have you heard about Australian NBN Internet speeds?

[–]Procc 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Why you gotta go and make me depressed

[–]psaux_grep 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Haven’t heard NBM before, but I’ve about the travesty that’s Australian broadband

[–]Revoran 4 points5 points  (2 children)

"National Broadband Network".

Basically it went like this:

  • Labor government: Let's commission a report into upgrading Australia's broadband.
  • Report: You should put fibre to everyone's home (FttH).
  • Labor gov: nah let's just do fibre to the node (FttN), and run outdated slow copper to people's houses.
  • Liberal (right wing) opposition: that's terrible! Fraudband! FttH is better!
  • Labor gov: OK you guys are both right, we should do fibre to the home. It's future-proof. We'll start the roll out in Tasmania.
  • Liberal opposition: that's terrible! Our FttN plan will be cheaper and faster. Vote for us!
  • Labor gov: B-but you just said ... forget it. Anyone you're lying FttN is not faster or cheaper.
  • Australian public: Lol we don't know anything about the internet, tax or immigration, we vote for the Liberals because we are racist and ignorant!
  • Liberal gov: OK we're doing this FttN thing now instead. Turns out it's going to be just as expensive and way slower. But hey, shittier internet will benefit our friend Murdoch and his media empire :)

TL;DR: politicians played politics with our internet upgrade, and in the end the right wingers ruined it.

[–]NurseBetty 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that whole farce of an election was the reason i picked up media communications as a double degree. the misinformation and the lack of communication between the public and the policy drove me insane so i figured I would learn about media and politics and maybe do something about it.

then I got to a mandatory 3rd year class called 'media research methods', and half of the kids in it did not know what the NBN was or that there was a difference between the two versions and i gave up and stuck with war media instead.

[–]mattin_ 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not going to argue that there are challenges, but there are definetly nuances to this picture. Albania is a tiny country for instance, smaller than several Norwegian "fylke". There is also no doubt that there are geographical challenges in Norway considering how few people live there, i.e., it would be easier to build a super highway between Bergen and Oslo had there been a lot more people.

But again, for a country that rich, there sure are some bad roads!

[–]psaux_grep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That last paragraph is what makes the difference though. Infrastructure investments pay off over a long period of time.

[–]AntiChr1st 2 points3 points  (4 children)

It should be mentioned that while this is somewhat true, it's also been improving rapidly in recent years.

Frp, for all the shit they get, has the infrastructure minister and they've been doing a spectacular job. Honestly another four years of them having that department is a dream come true.

[–]psaux_grep 3 points4 points  (3 children)

Road projects takes on average 10 years from planning begins to work begins.

[–]Crandingo 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Am an infrastructure planner in Australia, try 40.

[–]psaux_grep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Norwegian numbers.

[–]Procc 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i really do get a hard on for cool infrastructure. It really should be a countries priority to be investing in it's future. It boggles my mind America doesn't have the best public transport in the world, best internet, best schools, best public hospitals.

[–]Cohibaluxe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While yes, Tromsø has cool roads, we don't have any form of railway. Anywhere. The reasoning is (iirc) that Hitler wanted to build a railroad here during ww2 and now we can't do it because 'it would support hitler' in some way.

[–]Krissed 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Well we do not stem from some shithole, as world leaders these days refer to it.

[–]BrainBlowX 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Well we WERE a shithole to the point that about half of the population left for America in the 19th century. There's literally more Americans of Norwegian descent than there are Norwegians for this reason. Norway had a long struggle to become properly functional economically, long before we started looking for oil. And Norway nationally continued with this mindset even after finding oil.

[–]reasonoverreaction 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That isn't acting smug.

[–]jimmythemini 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Sorry my English, it is not so good. Perhaps I meant 'snarky'

[–]reasonoverreaction 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Snarky is perfect.

[–]dev0guy 340 points341 points  (40 children)

They blew a golden opportunity to get us back for drop-bears.

"Yes, there are heaps of angry polar bears here. They, uhhh, hide behind rocks..."

[–]zerd 89 points90 points  (28 children)

Polar bears are white, snow is white => totally invisible

[–]FaceDeer 23 points24 points  (4 children)

And Norway is completely covered in snow, at all times. There could be polar bears lurking anywhere.

[–]Revoran 9 points10 points  (3 children)

Australian here. That's how snow works in cold countries right? Year round cover. Just like how Australia is 100% desert and beaches (with one koala tree).

[–]bigbangbilly 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Don't you guys have a part of Australia that is a bit closer to antartica?

[–]SchroedingersHat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's tasmania. A cold place with 100% snow or ice coverage all the time...or sometimes beaches and >100 degree farenheit weather...it isnt entirely clear which, but it's definitely one of those. https://www.newsgrio.com/site/?p=272061

[–]Valmyr5 48 points49 points  (5 children)

Yeah, talk about living in glass houses and throwing stones. Australians are hardly in a position to issue warnings about polar bear attacks in Norway, when their own country is terrorized by the drop bear menace.

Not to mention, they didn't look very good when they got their asses kicked by the emu population in the Great Emu War a while back. Hell, even the rabbit and camel populations are out of control. Ordinary Australians live in fear of coming home from work to find their houses occupied by camels.

Make fun of Norway's polar bear problem after you take care of your own wildlife.

[–]FaceDeer 35 points36 points  (3 children)

Man, lose one military engagement with a flock of flightless birds and nobody ever lets you live it down...

[–]GreenFriday 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Headline below this at the moment: Australian birds of prey are deliberately starting bushfires.

[–]notrichardlinklater 6 points7 points  (4 children)


Do you mean that drop-bears are actually cute and fluffy and nice like I thought before the australian propaganda turned the PR of koala bears?

I don't know what to believe anymore.

[–]lambomang 10 points11 points  (1 child)

No, they're pretty vicious little buggers. Used to have the occasional one show up on my parents property, but thankfully because of all the new housing estates being built nearby, they've slowly moved away. Haven't seen one in years now. All the better for it too. Means my parents can now chicken farm in peace.

[–]notrichardlinklater 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What the fuck, I googled it and damn you guys for like 3 years I thought that drop bears were real and that they are dangerous. I even felt ignorant that prior to hearing about drop bears I had been assuming that all koalas are cute animals. I EVEN TOLD FEW PEOPLE ABOUT IT OVER THE YEARS AND THEY WERE INTERESTED IN IT TOO! AND I HAVEN"T EVEN BEEN TO AUSTRALIA!!

I admit, you guys got me like a motherfucker. Cheers.

[–]Revoran 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Koalas are very lazy and spend most of their time sleeping and eating leaves high up in eucalyptus trees. If you ever threaten a wild one though, they can be extremely vicious: think honey badger with bigger claws.



The ones in wildlife parks are tame and safe to hold with supervision, though.

[–]sometimes_interested 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Koalas are actually called dropbears because they drop piss and shit on you when you walk under them. The name has since morphed into a boogie-man type creature since the original Australian boogie-man creature 'the Bunyip' has mellowed a lot after being used a lot in kids stories and tv shows

[–]deliciouschickenwing 57 points58 points  (5 children)

Trolls however....they are a serious concern in Norway, they do not take that lightly.

[–]Calimariae 14 points15 points  (1 child)

They're really only a threat if you have Christian blood.

[–]someklevershit 9 points10 points  (2 children)

Well at least there are troll warnings in advance, Polar bears however... they cancome out of nowhere.

[–]bob_2048 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They climb up the tall pine trees of the arctic tundra. Because they hibernate, they can stay there for months. Waiting to be awakened by the footsteps of an Australian tourist. That's when they drop from their "pole" (hence the name, polar bear). A gargantuan roar above your head; you look skywards, but all you see is 700kg of terrifying bone, muscle, claws and jaws free-falling towards you at the speed of a peregrine falcon.

Anyway if you rub some Rakfisk behind your ears they'll leave you alone. They cannot abide the smell.

[–]deliciouschickenwing 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the things they do for klondike bar

[–]wacokjacko 292 points293 points  (28 children)

Australians are intrepid, you find them in the middle of the Congo to some remote glacier in Chile, it would not be unusual to find them in Svalbard. Lol

[–]surprisedropbears 207 points208 points  (18 children)

The quest to find a wall plug for our phones without an adaptor is ever lasting.

[–]wubbbalubbadubdub 50 points51 points  (14 children)

Aussies can plug their phones into the wall in China.

[–]bcdfg 64 points65 points  (0 children)

There they are chased by ferocious panda bears.

[–]neek78 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And Argentina

[–]Cyncalone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not the great wall, you savages..

[–]Gabe_b 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Except they're upside down. I guess it's something to do with the coriolis effect

[–]Movisiozo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like a great wall!

[–]thelowend6 2 points3 points  (1 child)

A quick google search shows me that you guys use the same we have in Argentina. Same voltage and frequency as well. Come visit and we can talk all about how having christmas in the summer feels like.

[–]account_not_valid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an Australian visiting Argentina, it was strange how warm and fuzzy I felt that we share the same outlet design. It's like we are long lost siblings.

[–]striprubberbottomsee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Argentina is great to visit, in part because of the wall sockets.

[–]Mister-C 35 points36 points  (1 child)

My bro is there (Svalbard) right now. As you said, we're everywhere.

[–]wacokjacko 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol exactly

[–]DFINElogic 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I was almost insulted, but then I realised you called us Intrepid.

[–]_brainfog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That word doesn't sound nearly as nice as it is.

[–]Mr_Rams 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I have some mates who were high school sweet hearts then randomly got back together when they bumped into each other hitchhiking on the same chicken truck in Peru!

[–]ericbyo 7 points8 points  (2 children)

And swedes, for a 9 million population they are fucking everywhere.

[–]stuntaneous[🍰] 8 points9 points  (1 child)

I think there's about a million Australians abroad at any given time.

[–]deep_in_smoke 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anything to get away from the cunting sun.

[–]MosquitoRevenge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's no point in going there now. It's basically night there 24/7 + dawn and dusk until march.

[–]longyaus 69 points70 points  (18 children)

i think they've misunderstood, that's not a warning, that is a marketing promotion.

[–]shaft169 13 points14 points  (17 children)

Wait, they don't attack? That's that trip cancelled then, better go tell the missus she won't be getting mauled by a polar bear, and I was really looking forward to it...

[–]AntiChr1st 12 points13 points  (16 children)

We have other dangerous shit if you're into that.

Hell man, come to my hometown up north for a month in November. Hurricane level winds and someone's illegal garage is gonna fly, I guarantee it.

If you insist on dangerous wildlife, we can arrange for you to swim with Orcas (no cage), you can go look for wolverines (trøndelag have a shit ton).
Or the most dangerous beast of them all, the northern girls. If you meet one you like, remember to wear condoms made of kevlar.

Best of all, if the various natural dangers don't kill you then seeing your bill after a restaurant visit most certainly will!

[–]shaft169 8 points9 points  (3 children)

I’m from Melbourne, there’s nary a restaurant bill that can shock me!

[–]AntiChr1st 6 points7 points  (2 children)

I googled a bit, is 95 AUD a correct pricing for a normal dinner for 2?

[–]shaft169 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Yeah, I’d say $90-120 depending on the place.

[–]AntiChr1st 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Smack another 20 and you have norwegian prices at a decent place.

Not too much of a difference I guess.

[–]Iwannabeaviking 4 points5 points  (10 children)

Tell me more about these northern girls, why are Kevlar cock covers required?

As a Aussie I thought not much would kill you there..

[–]AntiChr1st 7 points8 points  (9 children)

Tell me more about these northern girls, why are Kevlar cock covers required?

They come in two models. They're either in a relationship with someone they've been with since they were 14. She's not gonna cheat on him, and if he takes offense at your attempt you're gonna regret trying. The northerners aren't quite right in the head (and interestingly enough they usually get along quite well with aussies and scots, who they seem to have a lot in common with, mostly because we all seem to communicate primarily through swearing, insults, and drinking alcohol).

The other model have seen more dick than a retired urologist, have at least 1 or 2 kids whose fatherhood can be guesstimated at best, and will probably cause the apocalypse some day when all the world's venereal diseases combine in one of them, creating a supervirus that will destroy humanity.
Thus the kevlar cock cover, or you might be coming home a bit lovesick.

As a Aussie I thought not much would kill you there..

We lose a couple tourists every year for this exact reason, even though they almost only come to safe places during safe seasons.
This place made Bear Grylls cry and Les Stroud considered it one of his trickier survival places.

We don't have poisonous shit everywhere, nor do we have too many animals that will kill you (wolves are pretty chill, so are bears, you can just sing while hiking and both will leave you alone. You won't ever see a lynx. Wolverines are terrifying but grab a stick to slam it when it gets too close while you're running away like a little bitch and you'll be fine. Orcas are just fun, don't even need to bother leaving the water, they'll swim up, say hi, look at the weird monkey, then fuck off when they get bored with you. Don't fuck with wolffish and they'll leave you alone. A moose will fuck you up but honestly I've met loads of 'em and just pretend you don't see them and they'll do the same. Anything else is irrelevant).

What you need to watch out for in Norway is the environment, not the wildlife. Norway can turn on you real quick. You might go out skiiing on a nice sunny day with all blue skies, and while you're up on the mountain suddenly you're in a full on snowstorm.
It's all really easy to deal with until something goes wrong and you realize that it's safe the way an airplane is safe, artificially, and now it's falling out of the sky and you didn't bring a parachute.

[–]Human-Canary 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It sounds pretty much like Australia but cold rather than hot

[–]brumac44 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The moose thing killed me. I'm from northern BC and have met plenty of moose out in the bush. You're 100% right, everytime we freaked out, they did too and almost clobbered us, but if we just kept walking without making a big deal of it they took no notice at all.

[–]Iwannabeaviking 1 point2 points  (6 children)

So the wildlife is chill but the landscape can kill you.

Since the northern girls are crazy how are the southern ones? Nicer?

[–]AntiChr1st 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Since the northern girls are crazy how are the southern ones? Nicer?

Yeah just check if they have a little orangy skin, if they don't you're good.

[–]Salt-Pile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we can arrange for you to swim with Orcas (no cage)

Orcas are worldwide - here are some swimming with people in New Zealand for example. (Actually, we are told not to swim with wild orca like that, but on the other hand if orca want to swim with you they just will.)

Wolverines and girls sound interesting though.

[–]W00DERS0N 46 points47 points  (3 children)

Ya, but Svalbard...

I was tickled to go to Longyearbyen and see the “Do not go past this sign without a loaded weapon” and the gun locker at the grocery store.

[–]catmoleman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At first I thought you meant the sign was in the grocery store. I'm imagining that part of the store is overrun with bears or wolves, so they have a warning sign and a locker full of guns that the customers can use if they forgot to bring their own.

[–]MosquitoRevenge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm planning on going there once the sun starts shining again if I can get a cheap flight+boarding.

[–]Wobbling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeh Svalbard is not mainland Norway..

[–]Krissed 18 points19 points  (6 children)

Born and raised north of the polar circle I have no idea how many times I've asked about the dangers of polar bears, but it's quite a few. I find it adorable, because the only animal that is a danger around these parts is moose, due to their tendency to sprint over the roads. You don't want those antlers through you windshield and possibly your face at 75mph.

LPT: Aim for the back legs if you can't dodge the poor animal.

[–]bcdfg 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I trained with NATO soldiers in Norway.

UK, German, US. We scared them stiff with horror stories about the ferocious Norwegian snow snake.

The poor chaps hardly could sleep.

(No, no such thing in reality)

[–]cplforlife 0 points1 point  (3 children)

Drunk moose in the fall... Clumsy and aggressive.

They'll fuck your shed up....

[–]Krissed 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Encountered one walking home drunk last year. Now that was tense. Zipped up my jacket and growled when he stood frozen, looking like he was about to charge, but than he walked of. Nearly pissed my pants.

[–]cplforlife 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Oh fuck bud. No interest in being that close!

A few years back they got into the apple orchard, then wandered into my back yard. One fell over into the side my shed, got more or less trapped, thrashed about until just sheet metal and pieces of my lawn mower were scattered on accross my yard. I watched the destruction from my kitchen window in awe.

After it got up, looked at the scene, probably muttered "watch where you're going, you fucking shed" and stumbled off.

[–]Krissed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha, they are way to big and heavy for their 'finesse'. Always wanted to ride one, but considering them being a total mess running about I don't see it ever being a good idea.

[–]JuileJones 53 points54 points  (15 children)

Look, Australia's animals and some of the plants like the taste of human blood. They don't know that the rest of the world has animals that don't constantly pose a threat.

[–]psaux_grep 11 points12 points  (7 children)

The most dangerous animal in Norway is the moose. Haven’t checked current numbers, but we used to have about 400 collisions with moose every year. Sometimes people die.

[–]Amphibialrabies69 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And in rutting season they will try to stomp your head in. It doesn't have to eat meat to want to kill you. A horny 2000lb Moose will ruin your day.

[–]ctkatz 4 points5 points  (2 children)

moose are vicious animals. one even bit my sister.

[–]kernel_task 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti.

[–]redrider134 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm going to have to sack you

[–]arveasheim 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Sadly, the animal that causes most damage to humans is the cow according to statistics.

[–]psaux_grep 1 point2 points  (1 child)

But that’s a work hazard, very demographically limited. In the same way that industrial robots don’t randomly squeeze a wide selection of the population to death.

[–]Delliott90 15 points16 points  (5 children)

Wait... it’s normal in other countries to not have the wildlife hunt you?

[–]doobtacular 11 points12 points  (4 children)

Little bastards took the elevator right up to my office.

[–]HoodSanta 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly, we travel overseas so we can relax, and walk in long grass without wearing snake-proof armour.

[–]jvalkyrie87 17 points18 points  (2 children)

I don't understand. The official travel advice is this, straight from the smart traveller AU website:

"Latest advice, 11 January 2018

There are risks for travellers to the arctic archipelago of Svalbard relating to avalanches, glacier accidents, boating incidents and polar bear encounters. The level of our advice has not changed. Exercise normal safety precautions in Norway."

There are polar bears on Svalbard. But Norway seems to think the advice was about their mainland. Why the disconnect? Is there a case of hyper-sensitivity here?

[–]Akranadas 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Just Norway being smug.

Smart Travellers purpose to to inform Australians travelling aboard of all potential dangers. They have a similar warning about wildlife in Canada

[–]Bbrhuft 9 points10 points  (0 children)

A pupil on a school trip to the Norwegian Island of Svalbard was killed by a Polar Bear in 2011.


That why the Norwegian tweet said mainland.

[–]UTC_Hellgate 71 points72 points  (25 children)

I'm sure it's hard for them to understand that the rest of the worlds Flora and Fauna isn't QUITE as actively out to kill us as their native ones might be.

[–]Amphibialrabies69 32 points33 points  (14 children)

A Polar Bear will kill you for food, playing dead and it'll eat you, fighting back and it'll eat you. It is the only Bear species that you really have no hope against. You fight back against a Black Bear and you have a shot at winning, Grizzly Bears usually only attack to show who's the boss so you acting weak and pathetic and you'll probably walk away.

I know you're making a joke but there aren't really any animals in Australia that want to eat you, maybe the Crocs but that is about it. The Spiders and Snakes are just defending themselves.

[–]d3b105b 13 points14 points  (1 child)

If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lay down. If it’s white, good night.

[–]rtft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are forgetting spirit bears which are a subspecies of black bears and they are mostly white too.

[–]real_sadboi 5 points6 points  (7 children)

I mean, if the bear is killing me no matter what, I'm going down fighting. I don't care how weak I am, I will gouge out that motherfuckers eye.

[–]BrainBlowX 5 points6 points  (6 children)

Pretty hard to gouge anything on it when it is literally shaking you around like a dog toy.

[–]real_sadboi 3 points4 points  (5 children)

I'm still fighting it to the best of my ability.

I'd rather die trying in vain to fight than just go "oh, lemme just do nothing at all".

[–]KingDaniel1st 3 points4 points  (4 children)

Sorry but the more likely scenario is you pissing and shitting yourself whilst attempting to run away. You wouldn't be fighting at all.

[–]real_sadboi 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Well yeah, all stubbornness aside in the heat of the moment I'd probably panic and fuck up.

[–]account_not_valid 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I think the best fighting back you can do, is give that fucker indigestion. Make sure it swallows you in uncomfortable chunks. Sweet revenge!

[–]real_sadboi 1 point2 points  (1 child)

"I'll give you gastrointestinal distress!!!!"

[–]NZNoldor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The Spiders and Snakes are just depending themselves.

Arachnid incontinence is no laughing matter. Trying to get diapers on a snake however, is a good source for mirth.

[–]ImmunocompromisedAI 0 points1 point  (1 child)

And panda bears well... 🤔

[–]ChickenLover841 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd still hug it as it's killing me

[–]Revoran 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dingos and wild dogs have been known to stalk people sometimes. Not much, though.

And they tend to avoid populated areas + there isn't any dingoes in the southeast where most people live.

Feral Water Buffalo are dangerous in theory... but I've never heard of a buffalo attack happening to anyone.


Only one person has died from a spider in Australia in the last 40 years.

[–]SavannaJeff 17 points18 points  (9 children)

This joke is in every Reddit submission on Australia. Are you not all tired of it yet?

[–]Ganzer6 15 points16 points  (3 children)

Have you not been on reddit before? Post the same joke as every other thread and watch the karma roll on in.

[–]ghostwhat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Diminishing returns applies to cheap karmapiggybacking as well, as my siblingreplies indicate.

Or is metaredditing cooldownbased?

[–]OK6502 4 points5 points  (0 children)

On reddit no horse is ever truly dead. Only deadish.

[–]Daga12 7 points8 points  (1 child)

Lol it makes me cringe everytime

[–]Oddworld- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fucking yes. I get that it's a joke but people have actually said they're afraid of coming here because of it.

[–]1331ME 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Especially because we don't have any aggressive animals. Dangerous ones sure, but nothing that will go after you if you leave it alone.

[–]nioki23 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I’m scared of Polar Bears too. Bundy Rum turns them into aggressive buggers.

[–]HoodSanta 2 points3 points  (0 children)

now all i can think of are pictures of hungover people clutching bundy rum bottles, captioned with "the aftermath of a savage polar bear attack"

[–]bendann 18 points19 points  (3 children)

I saw quite a few in Svalbard, that kind of counts.

[–]Sherool 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Yeah, but I don't think you can visit Svalbard and not be informed and instructed about it. Think you are not even allowed to leave a populated area without at least one person in the party having a gun or bear-spray or some other means to scare them off.

[–]fingernail 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The thing Australia posted was about Svalbard and not mainland Norway. So, the Australian website or whatever is apparently just one more guard making sure you can't visit Svalbard without being informed and instructed.

"There are risks for travellers to the arctic archipelago of Svalbard relating to avalanches, glacier accidents, boating incidents and polar bear encounters"

Seems reasonable to me.

[–]bendann 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A gun is mandatory.

[–]n0xz 17 points18 points  (7 children)

Would be nice if Norway issue a travel warning about sharks attacks for Australia.

[–]Knuk 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Drop bears are probably a bigger concern for tourists.

[–]Puny-Earthling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d like to see them do a warning for panther attacks in Sydney or tiger attacks in Tasmania.

[–]cymonster 8 points9 points  (1 child)

But that's probably actually a concern. The beach nearest to me was shut yesterday for a shark sighting

[–]sennais1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It will make no difference, backpackers see the "Caution sharks/box jellyfish/crocodiles/cassowaries" signs that are posted in a million languages and will still end up going in anyways.

[–]Rather_Dashing 7 points8 points  (1 child)

They are far more likely to drown then get attacked by a shark, and yes it would be sensible for tourists coming to Australia to be warned about this more considering how happy they seem to be to throw themselves into a rip.

[–]Human-Canary 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey look the waves aren't breaking there... let's go swim in that spot, wow the shore is getter further away pretty quick..

[–]coldequation 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Tomorrow: Norwegian Foreign Minister Mauled By Polar Bears In Downtown Oslo. "He was last reported screaming 'Australia was right!'"

[–]Mobypikk 8 points9 points  (1 child)

Late to the party and won't be read, but I have to say I've never met an aussie I didn't like. Love ya, cunts. Greetings from a norwegian

[–]Zirie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love ya back, mate! (I've been here only for 10 months, but anyway...)

[–]jaeofthejungle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s no fun unless you have a story to bring back. Last May I nearly got eaten by a bear in Knoxville and spat on by a crazed one-eyed homeless person in SF. The look in her one good eye was one of pure terror! Honestly though she was scarier than the bear.

[–]sheerstress 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this is the beginning of the plot to a movie where Australian black ops start smuggling polar bears into Norway to keep their international credibility

[–]Mystic_printer 2 points3 points  (1 child)

In Iceland, however, this is potentially a real concern. We get hungry, half crazed, polar bears from time to time.

[–]nod23b 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Polar bears are a rare in Iceland though, they're almost common in Svalbard, Norway.

[–]AM_SHARK 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More polar bears are being shot dead on Norway’s remote Arctic islands, where dangerous encounters with humans are getting more frequent

A chain of incidents this year has highlighted the dangers.

In April, police stunned a three-year-old male sighted in the main town on Spitsbergen island, Longyearbyen, and flew him out by helicopter to a more isolated spot. The same month, a group of four Finnish tourists shot a polar bear in self-defense.


[–]Zazael 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol, it's called full disclosure. It would be like the Norway govt not giving a travel warning about our redback spiders. No one has died from a redback bite for thirty years but you would still warn people about it.

[–]eleuthero_maniac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look, DFAT did not mean to offend Norway in any way- it's just a warning to be cautious in that specific region, not, not travel there at all ( gotta love the English language haha) Afterall, a British teen did get mauled by a polar bear in Svalbard.


Us Aussies love Norway, it's a beautiful country with lovely people :) also now that I think about it, the Norwegian government missed an opportunity to tell us to "worry about our own dangerous animals, like dropbears"...which totally exist...

[–]jules94 5 points6 points  (9 children)

I'm Norwegian and can assure you that i've never seen a polar bear in my life.

[–]CuntyMcCuntFace1 22 points23 points  (4 children)

I'm Australian and have never seen a brown snake in my life but the other day a young bloke got killed by a brown snake while trying to get it away from his dog.

Countries tend to be big places where experiences vary from person to person.

[–]brumac44 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read about it, but I have to know. What happened to the dog?

[–]god-dammit-reddit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Because they are migrating to the US after Trump's statement. To work at publicity for coca cola.

[–]namzug3 1 point2 points  (0 children)

finally a story that makes fun of another country that isnt the US :(

[–]eveldad 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This from a country that has the most types of creatures that can kill you per square foot.

[–]Procc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are pretty spread out, but if you include the oceans also in the vicinity... yeah probably

[–]darwin42 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Only limited risk” fucking savage.

[–]EasilyAnnoyed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We can assure you that in mainland Norway all polar bears are stuffed



[–]Jolfgard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I still don't get: Are polar bears now roaming Norway or not?

[–]ButtermanJr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Give Aussie's a break, its an easy mistake to make when every creature on thier continent exists purely to murder you.

[–]iampivot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do actually have polar bears in our streets, but we don't tell foreigners as they have to be fed from time to time.

[–]I_blame_society 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stuffed from eating so many Norwegians.

[–]d1andonly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Thank you Australia for your concern. We can assure you that in mainland Norway all polar bears are stuffed and poses only limited risk."

Exactly what a scheming deadly polar bear would say.

[–]Slackerboe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My main take away.

Norwegian zoos blow