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Florida is the worst state in the nation in every way, new rankings say

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Welcome to Michigan.

Here's our state flower, the traffic cone.

Well, we're a work in progress. Always in progress.

How is it progressing? Inquiring minds want to know.

Pretty well, at least in the Metro Detroit region. It's not quite the burning pile of garbage it once was. Downtown at least, is quite safe, with a lot of new businesses emerging. It's quite exciting actually. However, I'm concerned that the next cyclical downturn will cause investors to take flight.

As for the rest of Michigan, it's as beautiful as ever. We have the second longest coastline next to Alaska. Michigan summers are fantastic for camping and it's a great cheap vacation.

Speaking of cheap, Michigan actually still has affordable housing. $300k in some of the southeast regions will either get you 2500+ sqft or a little smaller with a bit of acreage.

Public transit is still weak in the Motor city and no fault auto insurance is stupid expensive. Overall, I love living here where people at the minimum can be described as hardworking and authentic. So keep the hell out of our state. :)

Whoah, 300k is affordable? What's the standard salary up there for, say, a teacher? I teach in GA at 35k but I bought and renovated a house on a lake for 120k.

there are houses here for 150k. We have a shit ton of lakes but if it's on a big one it's usually 300k. Teacher salaries very drastically by city.

I would say most teachers are between 40 and 60k a year. More of you live in Ann Arbor but it's expensive to live there.

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Lmao I live in Michigan too, they live somewhere nicer apparently because you can't even find a 300k house around where i live.

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Very similar to Pennsylvanias state flower, the 'road work' sign.

Flowers are in full bloom october through november in that end of the year scramble because pennDOT forgets that winter is cold like, every fuckin year.

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I'm confused by this. Like, I love my state, but, it's literally the best?

Let's just say I hope not, because that would be pretty fucking depressing.

Well, as the article dictates, all that beautiful Michigan coastline puts right up at the top with the likes of Kentucky, a name you'll recognize from its many offerings of opiod themed vacation packages.

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This article reads like a shitpost. Literally nothing is explained why. It's half-assed one-ups to other states with no background.

Is Florida the worst because of the gator attacks, or is it the worst because of the Gators fans? I want to know, because this article had less substance than a Flo Rida song.

To be fair though, actual gator attacks are pretty rare. Yeah, we all heard about the kid at Disney World, but you’re far more likely to die driving on our roads than being attacked by a gator.

And IIRC, that was more negligence on the parent's part than random alligator showing up out of nowhere and attacking.

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Who's the governor?

12.2k points·3 months ago

From what I can tell, it's Pitbull

I lived in Pompano Beach, I went to a local fast food place Miami grill (or is it Miami subs grill maybe subs Miami grill, I don't know their sign is horrible) and they had a tv in the dinning room that played pitbull videos on a loop with no sound.

with no sound.

Ah... I have been watching those wrong all these years

You've been watching Pitbull all these years??

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He owns it now so there's that.

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Pitbull owns that chain. The business was failing and he had grown up eating there, so he saved it. But that's honestly hilarious.

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I will take the videos if they give me my Miami Subs back. Hopefully he helps them make a comeback.

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I think it’s Miami subs grill, and it’s a great place to eat, but yea I think pit bull owns that chain. But no sound is honestly better than sound

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Who is that?

3.1k points·3 months ago

Mr. 305

Mr Worldwide.

Misa Wurlwai

[deleted]
784 points·3 months ago

Dale

*Dalé

[deleted]
468 points·3 months ago

No I’m talking about Dale Gribble and his pocket sand.

sh-sha sh-sha!

Not Dale Dimmadome, son of Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?

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Uno dos tres cuatro

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Dále, the emphasis is on the first syllable

shit my accent was misplaced

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Dangit Dale

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I hear he stays at the Hotel/Motel Holiday Inn.

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They had the perfect opportunity to use a picture of FloRida and they blew it.

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Now this gon be called Calle ocho hahaha

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M-I-A-M-I till i die

Yeah then it’ll just be M-A-M

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Mr. Wurllwhyyye

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then who is Florida man?

We are all Florida Man on this glorious day.

Speak for yourself

I am ALL Florida Man on this blessed day!

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Thought it was Flo Rida

Common misconception. Similarly, people think that Chicago is the capital of Illinois. In fact, it is springfield.

People commonly assume that Flo Rida is the governor of Florida but in fact that title belongs to Jeremy Kenneth of Jacksonville. He's one of the top meth producers in his trailer park and was recently voted "best meth / governor of Florida"

If pitbull were the governor I think Florida would actually be better off. I've seen a lot of interviews with him over the years and he seems down to earth and smart.

He now owns Miami Subs. It's a start.

First subs, then, the world. Mr Worldwide, here we come.

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Yeah, and isn’t Florida’s governor Rick Scott a massive twat?

Rick Scott, aka Skeletor, aka Voldemort.

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Yeah.

That's a huge understatement. We collectively hate Governor Voldemort.

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Who's that? All i see is Mr wOrlDwIdE

Don't be ridiculous. Pitbull would actually make a really good governor.

Governor? With foreign policy chops like his, the guy could be president

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I thought he was running Alaska.

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a dude who looks like Lex Luthor who owns a drug testing company who tried to test all the welfare recipients, found that 98% of them don't, and wasted a bunch of tax money in the process (negative testies were reimbursed).

also he was responsible for the largest medicare fraud in history. and now he runs the whole damn state....

The dude is a fucking lizard man. I’m 100% sure about that.

Worst. Human. Suit. Ever.

There are, of course, "no such thing" as "lizard men." We are all "perfectly normal human beings," with our many human organs and disgusting, oily, human skin. Human beings are "completely in control" of this dirt ball planet.

"Shithole" planet is the human phrasing i think?

I have found that while this sentiment is prevalent amongst us humans, others become defensive and even hostile with such notions.

Username does not check out.

[ccHUMANlord please report for identity reassignment]

REPTILElord is joke, because am human. Just like all the other filthy humans. Haha, joke made on site in anonymity.

.

.

.

... please, no reassignment.

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I bet he is sticky. Like when you shake his hand you get a coat of slime. His ears on the suit are too low. I think they are covering his gills.

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Don't forget he adopted a dog from a shelter for a photo op, and gave the dog back immediately after the photo session finished.

My guess is that they took the dog back immediately after the photo session.

Decent people would never subject an innocent and loving dog to a life with rick Scott.

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Also released the salary of all state employees in an attempt to outrage voters. They ended up being way lower than anyone expected.

They are bad. FHP starts at $30,000. I am county, work the same roads and I started at$ 54,500.

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Isn't that already public?

Yeah. I’m assuming “released” as in “made some big show about it and tried to draw attention to it”...?

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I agree with all you said; however I do think this is an scathing insult to Lex Luthor; he looks like Skeletor.

No way, Skeletor is absolutely ripped. Skeletor looks like prime Arnold wearing a Halloween mask.

He looks like voldermort

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Luthor is usually ripped, too. Look at a picture of him in All Star Superman.

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Yep. 100% our evil overlord is Skelator.

Comment deleted3 months ago(4 children)

lol I literally commented the same exact thing without seeing yours. I guess we really do call him that

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You forgot that his wife owned the drug testing company.

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The most sickening thing about that to me is that most Floridians I've talked to (and who voted) didn't even know any of that about Scott.

That’s the problem with everyone everywhere. They just vote R or D without having any background information. Everyone has a right to vote, but being informed is extremely important.

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Wasted.. more like stole. As a Florida native I was disgusted when he was voted into office.

And then our fellow idiot sheep-fucker Floridians voted him back for a second fucking time.

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Don't forget the enormous public records lawsuit from a couple years ago. Who do you think paid for that settlement?

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In my office, we fondly refer to him as Voldemort.

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I would even argue he is even worse than that. Not only did he run the company that defrauded taxpayers millions of dollars, he used his parachute money the company gave him before going under to fund his campaign.

He's absolute scum. And the worst part is that he's going to run for senate and he's probably going to win because this state is full of old people tethered to their IVs and oxygen tanks who think Fox News is the most trustworthy news source this country has to offer.

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Alien Grey in greasepaint.

This only scratches the surface, this guy is involved in the toll road scams that seems to be growing like the fucking plague... you hate red light cameras? Wait till toll roads start hitting your town.

I may be stupid but It took me like 4 attempts to understand your first paragraph.

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A python on Ecstacy

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205 points·3 months ago

That is genuinely one of the most frightening photos of a human face I have e v e r s e e n.

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A list from the thrillist? Kentucky is number 3 on this list. Enough said.

I'm from KY and as I was scrolling I was like "Hoping to be at least 40" to "Shooting for top half." After I broke 10 i was like "Did... Did they forget about us?"

There is no way on God's green earth we are number 3. u/packersfan823 summed it up perfectly. Except he forgot The Colonel.

Ooh yeah. Heroin is the govenor here. Meth is the treasurer.

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Yup. The TL;DR for this is some clickbait site wrote three paragraphs about another clickbait site writing 50 sentences ranking US states with no objective criteria or real explanation. Their explanation for why Florida is dead last amounts to "hahaha, have you seen r/floridaman?! That shits crazy! Crazy people don't exist anywhere else and thats not just a result of Florida's loose public records laws!". Actually, my TL;DR might have ended up being longer than the "article".

Come on now. You don't consider "unique physical beauty" to be an objective, real-world, significant criterion for ranking states? You must be one of those people who like solid facts and relevant metrics.

The Everglades is definitely uniquely beautiful. You could argue the Keys as well but they're not as unique.

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2.0k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

I'm from Kentucky. It's not that great. Sure, Johnny Depp, Jennifer Lawrence, and George Clooney are from KY, and we are the undisputed champions of American whiskey and horse racing. That doesn't outweigh the massive drug epidemic, rampant poverty, shit governor, Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul, dry counties, religious zealots, racists, failing education system, pollution from mountaintop removal and mining accidents, allergens (Louisville and Lexington are terrible for allergy sufferers), widespread obesity, and worst of all, the Louisville Cardinals.

Edit: added politicians

Hunter S. Thompson.

Oh THATS where they got the drugs for an epidemic.

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Muhammad Ali

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Don't forget fried chicken and bluegrass.

Mitch McConnell, Rand Paul, Creation Museum...

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466 points·3 months ago

Mitch McConnell is the human equivalent of herpes

As a human herpes. I take offense

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He's Comcast with human skin.

Turtle skin

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Don't forget that dumbass ark. Kentucky is such a weird place to live.

The creation museum is in the ark is it not?

No they are separate and an hour away from each other. Ken Ham got a bunch of tax breaks from the state and the county to build the ark.

I live in the town that the ark is in. Ken Ham is scum. Dude got massive tax on the breaks, and when it came time to actually pay taxes on it.. He transferred it to a non for profit company or something. So he basically intended to pay nothing. Until it blew up here in the news.

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And Louisiana is #5? Wtf?

Comment deleted3 months ago(12 children)

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I think they rated New Orleans as #5 because the rest of Louisiana would have dragged down the rankings to somewhere in the 45+ range

New Orleans isn’t that hot either, drive 10 minutes out of downtown and you’ll see for yourself. also don’t forget New Orleans has some of the cleanest tap water in the country, crazy huh

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Yeah, I hate Florida as much as the next guy, but that list was bullshit.

My first thought was "There is no way it was able to get shittier than Mississippi over night."

That would take three earthquakes and two volcanoes. At least. In other words, there's no way the whole peninsula turned into the panhandle in a short period of time. Not unless they copy pasted Myrtle Beach over all of Miami.

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I’d be quicker to call out Maine at 2 lol.

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As someone who's spent a decent portion of their life in Louisiana, any list that includes Louisiana in its top 10 is just nonsensical. Don't get me wrong, the state has its moments, but it has got a ton of problems

Same when I hadn't saw it by 25 I was suprised, but figured it was a matter of opinion. When I saw it at 5 I immediately wrote off this entire website and anything related to it.

Well, the Thrillist is really a food and entertainment website. It's hard to argue that Louisiana isn't high tier in that department.

I swear to god, Lousiana fried catfish is a gift from heaven. Seriously, their gas station fried fish is better than any sit-down fish restaurant just eight hours away in Dallas.

It's good because the oil is already infused into the fish from spending time in the gulf waters.

^ This guy does PR for BP : 0

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Okay so... I'm cajun, my fam's from Louisiana. I love parts of Louisiana. It's the only state I've been that truly has kept its unique culture up until 2018. A lot of cajuns just... stay there and multiply. The food is super-fun. New Orleans is a killer tourist town. But omg... a lot of Louisiana is so seriously redneck and depressing and obese and racist. Lots of people living in basically shipping containers on stilts. Accents so thick you don't know what they're saying. Meth meth meth. Pills. More meth. Floods that ruin your house. Bad education systems. Lack of upward mobility. Absolutely no exercise/workout/go outside culture. I've watched members of my family try to escape deep Louisiana but not be able to because they literally don't have the resources to move anywhere. They're intelligent and totally uneducated. Can explain the engineering of a gun for 45 minutes but can't figure out how to move out of their parents' trailer. I think there's a lot of culture problems but SO much potential. The state is beautiful, the weather's pretty good, and there's a ton of rich history and diversity.

I'm from south Alabama (Texas resident now) and honestly, I witnessed the same problems first hand as well. Moving from small town Alabama to Austin really opened my eyes to how many problems I was just so used too I became blind. The pill and heroin problem where I was from was/is still INSANE. Sadly my mother has fallen victim to the prescription medication addiction but I really do believe it's a heavy product of culture there sadly and no one wants to do anything to help or fix the problem. But when I really think that I wonder, how would you even start to try tackling that problem?

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I'm from one of those rural northern Louisiana towns, I now live in Orlando and people don't understand why I'm so impressed. But trust me, northern Louisiana sucks so much that Orlando is utopia.

Besides, Florida is beautiful. It's got a lot of great things. For instance, my SO grew up here, when he skipped school, they went to fucking Disney World. We went to the gas station for some fried chicken.

There are really cool things happening all the time. Fighter jets have been buzzing us because of the pro bowl, we can see the space x rockets go up. I can be on the beach on the Atlantic Ocean or Gulf of Mexico in less than 2 hours. And the springs, are you kidding me?

Louisiana will always be home, but I do not want to go back !

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I lived in Louisiana for almost a decade, coming from NJ, and I can safely say that I'd never go back. Not even to drive through. The few benefits did not outweigh the overwhelming mess of garbage. I agree that it does have a great deal of potential, though. I met a lot of great and intelligent people but damn were they surrounded by some of the worst.

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I was watching a news report a couple years ago about the destruction by man of Louisiana's wetlands/swamps. The Louisiana man they were interviewing about it started crying he was so sad about what was happening to the natural beauty of his state. As a native of Louisiana who moved away years ago to make a living, it really made me sad.

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I just moved to NOLA from Florida. I'm not one to cast stones, but what the hell is going on here? It froze for a couple of days this month and we literally had to start boiling our water for the rest of the week. Wtf?

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Thrillist’s Definitive and Final Ranking of All 50 States list ranked the states “based on everything.” Specifically, the states’ contributions to America, like inventions, food and drink, “somewhat productive famous people,” and unique physical beauty, among other things.

So bullshit then.

3.6k points·3 months ago

Thrillist

What the fuck is that. Like a Buzzfeed Wannabe?

I found thrillist to be a decent starting point for finding the best strip club in a given city. Their reviews give you a good idea of what to expect and which club will best match your own tastes.

I wouldn't use it for anything more serious than that.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes; New York’s hottest club is:

Slice. Club promoter Gay Liotta is back, and this time he’s… gone… crazy. This place has everything: Twinks, gypsies, grown men in wedding dresses, a cat from a bodega, puppets in disguise.

It even has chinchilladas

What’s a chinchillada, Stefon?

It’s that thing where a live chinchilla is wrapped in a corn tortilla and covered with Mexican tomato sauce.

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Dan Cortes.

MTV's Dan Cortese*

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What the fuck did I just read?

I'm glad you asked, Hob. He was just talking about Free Shipping (formerly Slice), New York's trendiest Speakfreezy. It's got everything: rapping mimes, miming rappers, a cholo singing Ke$ha, controversial Cambodian martial arists dressed like Tom Selleck, and my personal favorite, an actual piece of the Berlin Wall you can paint on using imported street filth from Delhi!

a cholo singing Ke$ha

I had to Google if that was an actual Stefon quote. It's so dead on lmao, I shot beer out of my nose.

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Screaming babies in Mozart wigs...

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But, goddamn it, I want to know what the "best" state is based on a set of arbitrary guidelines that the vast majority of people couldn't give less of a shit about ... like the length of coastlines, and number of breweries and celebrities.

like the length of coastlines

Shouldn't Florida do well if that's a major criteria?

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They do show a good appreciation for ATL strip clubs, so I can't argue with that part of your comment.

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Thrillist has been garbage since its inception. I actually signed up for their event listings newsletter way back in the day because I was looking for more stuff to do in the city but unsubscribed when it was clear they were barely covering a fraction of what was going on and would just try to get referral revenue by getting you to go to places they partnered with with shitty discount incentives.

The content on their site is offensively bad. They often have dumb lists like "the best tacos in all 50 states" where they literally just find highly rated places on Trip Advisor and Yelp and then do a write up based on peoples' reviews. Thrillist is not a name you should trust the opinion of.

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Florida last. Michigan first. So im going to say beaches were not a considered quality. Or tap water safety.

When it comes to 'unique physical beauty', how can Florida be in last place with the everglades and the keys?

Seriously. FL has the third largest coral reef in the world. The Everglades are a World Heritage Site.

Because it just can’t compare to the natural splendor of Indiana. You know with the... corn...

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Also we have Coral Castle. I live within walking distance of that weird place and sometimes I float around because magnetic... earth.. something or other.

Blowing rocks, Kissimmee Prairie, Hopkins Prairie, Dry Tortugas, countless crystal clear springs, I could go on. Having lived in Florida and numerous other places, I can't agree that Florida is anywhere near the bottom of the list for natural beauty.

I'm Broward county, born and raised. This list was made by someone who maybe once drove through a state 10 years ago. Our beaches, food, culture, people, lifestyle...it's all beautiful.

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Not to mention the springs. Thoroughly underrated feature of Florida, assuming the one you visit isn't packed with college kids.

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That's totally absurd one thing Florida has is good looks - landscapes, coeds who make you talk to their drunk mom when you try to chat them up, coral reefs . . .

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is this seriously bullshit fluff article about a bullshit fluff article?

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Well Alaska has the highest crime per capita and rape/sexual assaults per capita (triple the US average.)

Someone save me from the cold hellhole.

121 points·3 months ago

Greenland also has terrible stats, but you have to factor in the population - when one murder a year equals like "20% of the population is murdered yearly" it's pretty hard to get good stats.

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1 woman for every 10 guys. The scenery is mind blowing if you have the courage to get out that far.

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1.0k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

I think the real question here is has Florida gotten worse or has Mississippi gotten better?

As a South Carolinian, I just have to say that my state is not looking as crazy these days.

The Appalachian Trail seems so far away...

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I’m firmly convinced that if you didn’t allow Mississippi to be run by people from Mississippi it’d be a very nice place. We’ve got very pretty land and people that are nice individually. The problem comes when they get together and start having “ideas”. Not too long ago we passed a law setting a minimum state contribution to schools, that was still well below the national per student average. They never came close to meeting it and when people started to complain the legislature passed a new bill so no one could hold them accountable for breaking their own damn law

Can you recommend some very pretty land that a New Englander should check out?

45 points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Citywise Vicksburg is pretty rad, some cool shops by the river. Natchez has lots of historic buildings, but the roads are pretty shit. And naturewise most places you can get to the Mississippi River are pretty cool, and there’s more forest service land than you can shake a stick at, and last I checked the public campy places are fairly well maintained and cheap. And to rep my hometown Ohkissa lake out in franklin county is very nice. Pro tip if you go anywhere near the delta: make sure you gas up and use the bathroom when you get a chance. Most of the highway in the delta is just farmland with no rest stops for hours

Natchez, Vicksburg, and Port Gibson are truly amazing places with tons of history. The Natchez Trace has beautiful scenery. Clarksdale is great in a different way.

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Is this really nottheonion worthy? It's just a fun article about a joke rankings.

To be fair, it wasn’t published by “The Onion”.

That really widens the scope of what we can post on this sub.

I'm about to post a picture of a garlic.

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What a garbage survey.

Seriously have no idea how this is getting upvoted on this sub.

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Florida is the worst and Michigan is the best. That's why every year so many people from Michigan move to Florida.

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This is the most vapid article I have ever read. Not news worthy.

This is what we've come to. A shitty reblog reporting on a shitty blog post.

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Why does everyone bully Florida?

Idk, only about 38% of the population is from Florida and Florida has probably close to two million tourists in it at any given time. For a shitty state people move to Florida and spend time in Florida a lot.

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No clue, from the times I've been there (granted, only twice) I absolutely loved it.

71 points·3 months ago

If all of the negativity will keep people from moving here, I support it! I'm tired of all the crowding. Things have slowly gotten worse over the 330+ years my family has been here and the water quality, just in my lifetime, went from amazing to absolute garbage.

I never thought about it that way. The more shit people talk about Florida, the less traffic we get :D

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92 points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Florida arrest records are available online, so it’s very easy to report stories about how bad Florida is. Though I lived a couple miles from Casey Anthony, and worked with George Zimmerman, so maybe they are all right about Florida...

It's obviously not Vermont but it's interesting how Florida seems to have a perception of criminality that's worse than it objectively it. Louisiana, New Mexico, Alaska, Tennessee, and various other states are quantifiably worse but the news seems to perpetually show stories of "Florida man".

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Michigan roads are worse

I drive from Maryland to Michigan a few times per year: Maryland roads - good; Pennsylvania roads - suck; Ohio roads - good; Michigan roads - suck more than PA.

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Oh yeah. If you drive to Ohio you can feel which part of the road is MI and which is Ohio

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And Michigan is the best state? Lol

That’s why so many people from Michigan move to Florida. Looking at you, Mom.

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If you look at the ranking system it's complete and utter garbage. Why do people post this bullshit????

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Probably one of the most poorly written and biased article I've read in a while. It also doesn't help when you start out bragging about Ted Nugent.

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I'm assuming this is one of the most biased studies I've ever seen

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This is so true. Florida is terrible, you shouldn’t come here. Nothing to see here.

Yes Florida sucks go away

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