I hear he has an incredible rubber guard.
Dude, with the amount of torque he throws into his shots, could you imagine the type of power he generates when banging his girl? Between the lower back strength, durability, and aggression - Jesus Christ. Seriously, my apologies for pulling a Bryan Callen, but let's all acknowledge the obvious. This man is genetically engineered to fuck your girlfriend. I pity the man who dates his ex, because I sure as shit wouldn't want to.
In my best Bryan Callen voice
What, what? I don't understand? I can't appreciate a man's ohysique now?
I take it you're not familiar with my ongoing Bond themed Paulo Costa movie pitch are you?
Did you just make me read some UFC fan fiction?
Yed. And it's good fanfiction. Deal with it.
Are you down for part 2? I have it written, ready to go.
I'm good man.
I do remember this.
I think I should write a sequel. I don't know if the mods would approve though...
I have the second chapter ready to go.
Well boys and girls, what are you if you're not a man of your word? I promised that I would continue my Bryan Callen themed stories and tales of Paulo Costa to the best of my abilities with my previous story here. I have to live up to my expectations...plus I just saw Sicario 2, so here's some food for thought
The man moves ever so slightly, his gait refined, yet careful a bit like a panther on the prowl. Returning home late from a night he spent with an american girl he'll likely never remember, and never speak to again, he smells her sweat on him as he scans the horizon. From the distance he can see his second floor apartment is lit up like a Christmas tree, which immediately signifies danger. He pauses and further surveys the scene from behind his custom fitted Ray Bans. He sees several guards, an exceptionally short and muscular full sleeves tattooed Italian-American man, an Al Powell lookalike from Die Hard, a large headed large femured Croatian, and most importantly a tall lethargic looking man who he is all too familiar with. He can barely comprehend the conversation taking place in the distance, it somehow involves basketball courts, no gloves, sand, nude combatants and open handed strikes. The Al Powell lookalike entertains the conversation, the Croatian looks on disappointed. The tall lethargic looking one holds eye contact. The golden snitch he's called.
He dodges out of sight quickly, first behind a bus, then around several cars. And follows his way around to the back of his apartment building where he climbs up several ladders to his emergency exit. He draws his custom sig p226 from his concealed holster, normally he wouldn't carry such a large weapon in this 110 degree South American heat but he was in a rush out of the house when the American texted him a simple...booty bubble as comedian Theo Von would refer to it in the wee hours of the morning. His trigger finger is itching to fire, but alas, he catches the note placed on the window sill. Written in crayon on a sticky note, the words 'Sorry Bro, big fight, don't shoot me' makes itself known in the darkness. He bolsters his firearm, and opens the window stepping into his home. From down the hallway, BLAF enters into the killers eyesight. His skin - unabashedly red in the dim light of the rising South American horizon in the distance. His beard is a few days old, his eyes are strained, his hands are clammy, and his hairline - nonexistent. He continues to size him up as he chews on the churros he just bought for himself that he graciously offered up to his old friend in an effort of good hospitality.
'So bro, I guess I know what I need to get you for Christmas' BLAF says out of the corner of his mouth, implying the lack of a UFC belt on his perfectly crafted mantle. The man is silent in response. 'In due time' he utters out of the corner of his mouth...perfectly formed mouth as Bryan Callen and Branxtonio Schaumburg would say. He can almost hear the term dimepiece from here. 'Well, after this one. For sure' The man nods along, he knows there's no road to the title. He's a hit man, plain and simple. Belts? Fuck belts. Give me a name, pay me my money, leave me alone, and when I'm tired of being left alone. I'll let you know. His master taught him this, the OG, original guice master. He sadly was offed by an aging Japanese man somewhere in South America, location unknown. There have been rumors going around, that he's recovering somewhere at a professional guice clinic in the States. But before he can further distract himself, GOOFCON1 opens his mouth again.
'I'm turning you loose this time' 'How loose?' He replies 'Uriah Hall. UFC 226 pre lims. No golden snitch...how's that for loose?' His eyes go wide. BLAF takes a hearty bite out of the churro, stuffing it whole into his mouth, like an American girl on vacay in Brazil one would say. The man holds the stare. 'You can get revenge, for yourself, for all those steroid "allegations" and implications that you're not on his level*' 'You're gonna help me start a war' 'With who' 'The entire Middleweight division bro'
Costa nods in agreement. Sets the sig down. For the past several weeks he's been studying Darren Till, hoping for the chance to be let loose on him. But now he realizes exactly how serious this mission is. Uriah is next, and he's going to make it look messy. BLAF slips a check across the table and walks out. Hes just signed Hall's death sentence.
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I agree, enough with the brouhaha.
Jfc dude. That’s almost good enough to be pasta
Dude, with the amount of torque he throws into comments, could you imagine the type of power he generates when shitposting? Between the lower back strength, durability, and aggression - Jesus Christ. Seriously, my apologies for pulling a Bryan Callen, but let's all acknowledge the obvious. This man is genetically engineered to shitpost. I pity the man who dates his ex, because I sure as shit wouldn't want to.
I love how that last sentence takes on a whole different meaning when you change up the rest of it a bit.
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could you imagine the type of power he generates when banging his girl?
You're trying to make this sound appealing for women and I think it comes off as horrifying for them.
Na they want to be taken by a dangerous and sculpted alpha like him
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Dude I'm talking to other men here.
Unless you've got a model like face with a sculpted Conquistador body like ya boy, you're delusional if you think women wouldn't be down for that.
With that said, I'm sure Paulo is a gentle lover. His lips and mouth say it all.
I'm not entirely convinced you aren't Bryan Callen.
Although we are both insanely handsome men, sculpted like our Mediterranean Greek ancestors before us - we aren't two slightly different people.
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This man is genetically engineered to fuck your girlfriend.
At least he doesn't have a French accent. There's still hope for us boys.
Some girls prefer Latin accents :\
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You would swear tranypanda wrote this.
He'd given Tony Thompson a run for his money. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OK7lG4OQ5YQ
None, he can't get a boner anymore because of all the roids.
All for nothing if he has a small ding dong
I heard he doesn’t care for the rubber guard and just goes in dry to make these big boys submit
He penetrated Hall's defense really well. After he clipped Uriah with the left, Uriah melted like rubber.
Joe rogan: “ alright I’m here with Paulo the condom costa, Paulo talk me through how you were able to penetrate through his defense like that”
Very Trojan-esque in his approach Joe
He hits the bag like a Ford Magnum!
Protect yourself at all times in the octagon. Obvious secret to Paulo’s success. He’s wearing a condom
holy shit i've never thought about the reference for trojans that's disturbing
Would be best nickname ever.
Today more than ever, we are all condoms
Gives a new meaning to "head movement"
I condom. Trust me. I condom
Is normal. I back.
yes that is the reference
We are ALL condoms on this blessed day.
Oh, so THAT'S why he kept punching Hall in the dick. He was doing a public service to remind all of us to use protection.
Mods, can I get a “we are all condoms” flair?
I would also like this flair mods
I would like this, too.
Me too please.
me too thanks
me too thanks mods
Speak for yourself
I am ALL condoms on this blessed day
full of spunk
Pastor says condoms are the fool's fig leaf.
He even says weird nonsensical things like Vitor
WAR ViTRTor 2.0
ViTRT should take him under his wing and teach him the ways of the young dinosaur.
He disrespected Vitor once I believe. One of the guys in Vitor a gym wanted to fight him
Gimme the deets.
Why would he disrespect his literal father like that?
He wanted to fight him and said Vitor is scared and that he’s a pussy. Here’s Cezar Ferreira defending Belfort https://www.mmafighting.com/2017/11/16/16648398/cezar-ferreira-vows-to-break-fake-paulo-costa-into-pieces-hes-a-lie-ufc
He's a true thermostat, not a thermometer like these other MW bums.
More like TRT Victor and Pride Wanderlei combined into one.
My only possible explanation is that in British English we call erasers rubbers which yanks use as a term for condoms. Idk
"We are all erasers" is still pretty funny. Also funny how "The Eraser" sounds like a badass nickname in English because it's like "One who ERASES" but that's not his nickname - his nickname is literally like, a colloquial term for a pencil eraser lol
“Borrachinha” stood for “little rubber” in Portuguese – a nickname given to him because of his older brother, who was dubbed “rubber man” due to his elasticity. But with its original meaning not translating well to English, he decided to use another word that means “rubber” in Portuguese.
“‘The Eraser’ is the best translation; it’s like, ‘I will erase you, Johny Hendricks,'” Costa joked.
My friend’s nickname is borracha. He told me it meant rubber band. It’s a pretty common nickname in capoeira.
Yea “borracha” means “rubber” (as in the material).
Rubber band would be “elástico”
I just thought it was interesting he himself decided to go with “the eraser”
There was a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger called The Eraser in which he plays a badass who erases people.
Then his bosses tried to erase him. Predictably that proved to be a bad business decision though.
Did he pack up his desk and move to a competing company or something?
I believe so yes. This is thought to be the last they saw of him https://imgur.com/a/LaH8Ch0
It's good to see he's using a torch to move around his stuff in the dark building. No wonder he left and moved to another office, there is not enough adequate safety lighting.
I know right? Such a kind and gentle man. He looks so grumpy there though! Shocking treatment.
It's tough to see him obviously going through a tough time, he's worried about if his new job will pay enough, how much longer his commute is going to be, how he's going to ensure his wife it'll be all okay -- he's having a tough day, but he's not lashing out, he's trying to remain calm, and that's a man we could all stand to learn from
A true gentle giant. Arnie bless.
When will they learn?
I always thought the Spanish/Portuguese term meant more specifically a chalkboard eraser?
It's actually, specifically, an old old wooden ship used during the civil war era
You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.
In Portuguese borracha is an eraser or simply rubber
I believe the direct translation is "Little Rubber".
Yes, it is a mistranslation
Oh for sure but I'm gonna call him The Condom from now on. Hall just got wrapped up and ribbed for our pleasure
It's also why he changed his name from "Little Rubber" to "The Eraser".
I think you're right. If you follow this link and look at the examples of the word in context the 2nd example is exactly this. The 5th example is the meaning that he intends. If I had to guess this is the reason he stopped using the name "borrachinha." He probably found out that in some places they use the word to mean condom. I'm assuming it doesn't have that meaning where he's from. Clearly whatever software he used to translate doesn't agree with Costa.
Borrachinha means "little rubber". His older brother was at the same gym before he was, and they called him "Rubber" due to his flexibility. Costa started going to that same gym, so they called him "Little Rubber" after his older brother.
Needing a little rubber (US slang) is funny in the context of a condom, but in UK English, a rubber means an eraser, so he went with that.
a new meme is born
Stupid sexy Costa confirmed.
Stupid sexy joocy
Condom depot have a sponsorship lined up for him
Im honestly wondering right now what the fine, if anytging, would be if he did this in the octagon right before a fight: https://youtu.be/us5MGEL5W34
Im dead serious.
Costa sponsored by Trojan confirmed
Condom Depot is back bois.
We are all condoms flair incoming.
That flair is hilarious, +1 to whoever is responsible for that
I think the mods changed it, I just noticed haha.
"We are all condoms" is about to become a new flair for half this sub
Stay safe people, wear a Costa.
Costa condoms, fucking YOU with our prices
Mods flair me up with a "We're all condoms"
Ill take one of those too please
Me too please
Can I get a flair too?
Can I have that too please?"
Mods may I please get the flare "We are all condoms"
I want this too. Please mods?
I want to be a fellow condom, with my condom brethren.
I’m on board too, please hook me up mods
I'd like to hop on that flair as well. Mods pls
Borrachinha -> Eraser -> Rubber -> Condom
Is my guess.
Chuck with that look in his eyes.
Sea level Cain.
Motivated BJ (not Penn)
This guy fucks
And a new meme is born.. Get your translations right, boooois
Maybe it's all a big plan to get focus on this meme instead of every discussion being about how he's injecting meglodon testosterone into his arsehole
yeah.. i don't think.
yet, he should train is english, boy is marketable as fuck
safe sex is great sex, better wear a latex 'cause you don't want that late text, that "I think I'm late" text.
Condom in Portuguese is camisinha.
And his nickname is not camisinha.
His nickname is Borrachinha which can mean eraser. You could say he erases* his opponents from the face of the Earth.
Erasers are made of rubber. Condoms are often called rubbers since they too are made of rubber. Hence the confusion in the translation.
Source: I never use condoms.
While I've seen Joe Rogan and others calling him the Eraser that is also not the right translation.
Borrachinha technically means "little rubber".
Rubber stretches. It's flexible. Paulo Costa's older brother was very flexible. This is an advantage in BJJ and all martial arts so people took notice and called his brother Borracha, meaning Rubber.
Because Paulo was the little brother they called him "Little Rubber" or "Borrachinha".
A more cultural translation would be like Mini-Flexi or Mini-Stretchy or something like that.
So clearly the translation is a complicated one. Eraser is easier to go with and will probably stick. In the end, what he wants to be know as is UFC Champion.
Best of luck!
Translation Source: I'm a Brazilian Portuguese-English translator. Coincidentally, I was born in the same city as Borrachinha and we both root for Atlético Mineiro, one of our local soccer teams.
Nickname source: https://www.terra.com.br/esportes/lance/preparado-paulo-borrachinha-assume-posicao-de-promessa-no-ufc,a23ce1ba5f301c4f746496e6f2c6d0f03qy4donp.html
Interview Question from above source:
"Qual a origem do apelido "Borrachinha"? O Borrachinha surgiu porque aos 12 anos, quando trouxe meu irmão para o jiu-jitsu, ele tinha muita flexibilidade, elasticidade, então no jiu-jitsu isso impressionava, ele fazia um alongamento bom, e começaram a chamá-lo de "homem borracha". Como eu era o irmão mais novo, fiquei como "borrachinha" (risos)."
. . . Back & forth
For everyone that didn't actually go to his page this is a function of instagrams translate function. He didn't actually write out condoms lmao
Yeah went to the page and didn't find it. A little disappointed.
Team we are all condoms please mods
That really caught me off guard.
His bicep looks like Dana`s head is about to burst out of it
CONDOMS FOR GAY JESUS!
Most likely meant comrads.
excuse me mr condom sir you seem to have a football stuck in your bicep please show this to dr. condom thanks
So what was he actually trying to say?
We are all erasers, which he probably wrote as we are all rubbers, which got mistranslated to we are all condoms
I'm sure of my ability. I stepped in that octagon today to show, and that's what I did. I thank God first and every person who cared for me, I appreciate every message and support! I also thank my family, my masters and teammates, my sponsors and supporters and each of you! Today more than ever, we are all condoms.
Mark Hunt : 👀👀👀👀
He's getting that Trojan sponsorship.
He’s a dependable fighter. Never pulls out. #condom
Back and forth, forever.
This is instagram's translation, right? He wrote it in Portuguese I assume.
We condoms now boys
Kaz, I'm already a condom.
This guy is on more drugs than a pharmacist. Tell me his body and the fact that he’s from Brazil doesn’t cause red flags???
Brock got to him
We are all condoms? Lost in translation?
I condom. Es normal
I hespect condom
He’d better be able to back up those words
Can I get a we are all condoms flair
Were all condoms on this blessed day
You'd think that's the first english word a Borrachinha looking motherfucker would learn.
Also "my masters and teammates" is weird, he a slave?
This message is brought to you by CONDOMDEPOT. COM
I was so very unimpressed until I got to the last line. The hell?
Mods, I want a Today we are all condoms flair!
Edit: I love how the mods run around tinkerbelling flairs on to users.
MODS!!! Can you please change my flair to "Today we are a all Condoms"? Thank you :)
Ok...ok...what's so weird abo-...oh lmao
We’re all condoms bois.
Just penetrating ourselves through life.
Protections > protectors > protections > condoms?
I want a "We are all Condoms" flair so bad
Remind me, didn't Cody write he had a great time blowing some famous dude in an IG post? It was obviously some typo, but it was funny as hell.
Thanks Costa, very cool!
This is pretty scary, big ass dude would not only beat your ass...but will fuck it afterwards... the queer that inspires fear indeed.
Add the FLAIR MODS WE ARE ALL CONDOMS
Wtf im not a condom
Well you are today... MORE THAN EVER!!!
I am a CONDOM!!!
Oh god the meme meter is over 9000.
Well after hitting Uriah in the balls 3 times in the first round he probably doesn't need condoms anymore. Fitting I guess.
we are all condoms!
Flair me up, mods.
This guy is 100% on steroids.
I really am starting to dislike This juiced fuck. Unfair to Uriah to have to fight an obvious cheater. And on toot of that, he's cocky as fuck.
We're all condoms is the new fuck chuck
Gods I miss that show.
Mods, may I please have a "We are all condoms" flair?
one condom to stop them all
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