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Tell Schrödinger I Survived

254 comments
87% Upvoted
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1.6k points · 5 months ago

.... And I'm coming for him next. Dramatic music.

460 points · 5 months ago

I guess the cat is out of the box...

204 points · 5 months ago

...and then into the bag.

129 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

... and then into a box again

"Dammit"

34 points · 5 months ago

6 more times and we'll finally have slain the terrible beast

I ain't terrible

But I am

Username... checks....... out................... ...?

1 more reply

I hope so but since there a probability that the furry monster only does 50% of the to me, we might be in for a long ride.

Or in a hat?

...Cuz its out of the bag

With a cucumber

The idiot box

And the bag's in the river.

1 more reply

meta

Ah, the classic expression, "The cat's into the bag"!

Porque no los dos

WHATS IN THE BOX

It's just a piece of string.

That's really just a theory

This got me singing the "Out of the Box" theme song.

The first lolcat that I ever saw, ages ago, was of a cat in a falling-apart box much like this. Had one front leg shoved though a small hole, paw reaching for the camera. Through another small hole, one eyeball could be seen.

Caption: for the love of God, Montressor!

Cat memes started off classic, quoting from "The Cask of Amontillado" by Edgar Allan Poe.

It got popular, it attracted idiots. Nowadays you'll have to sift through the noise just to find the good ones.

I want to see that

Here’s Johnny!!!!

'First off, fuck yo box and the clique you claim, Westside when we ride, come equipped with game'

we need a movie poster for this

[deleted]
2 points · 5 months ago

Like the beginning of Kill Bill 2.

or not...

Directed by m night shyamalan

3 points · 5 months ago

Tell Schrödinger that he is alive and dead.

2 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

Wait a minute... that ain't Schrodinger's cat at all!

Or is it?

Plot twist.... it's Schrodinger wearing his cat's head

Double twist: it's actually a cat wearing Schrodinger's headless body.

Can someone please do this?

Get out of my head!

Du du duhhhhhh

“looked dead, didn’t I?”

2 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

"On second thought"

music stops, close up

"I'll tell him myself."

cat leaps at camera, screen goes black, screaming and tearing sounds are heard

That could be turned into a movie.

1 more reply

Xerox box, must be a copy cat.

Why is this not among the top comments (or is it simultaneously at the top and bottom.... basically in the middle)

Just woke up, checked. It is approximately in the middle for me.

Mind. blown.

Mind blown and safe at the same time Schrodinger's mind

1 more reply

299 points · 5 months ago

This cat exists in two simultaneous states; angry and vengeful.

But those are not mutually exclusive states, unlike the cat being alive and Schrödinger being alive.

And what happened to the electron? Did the cat kill it?

1 more reply

Tell Schrodinger...he's now alive...and dead

His fate is about to become a lot more certain.

That moment when Schrödinger realises the box isn't sealed, but fate is.

His wave function is about to collapse.

106 points · 5 months agoGilded1 · edited 5 months ago
INT - A SCIENCE LAB
A white cat with piercing green eyes and blood spatter eagerly bats a human brain
around like a ball of wool. 
Out of nowhere, a look of terror overcomes the face of the feline, and it begins to 
violently convulse. It yowls, hacking and coughing repeatedly; the look on its face
becoming more pained and terrifying by the second. It struggles and struggles to cough 
until something is shot out out of its mouth at a terrifying pace. A whole human eyeball.

CAT
That's the last observation he'll ever make.

The cat slinks away and into the distance, and we see it walk past an office with a puddle
of water seeping out from under the door and bells ringing repeatedly. The name plate on
the door reads "Dr. Pavlov"
28 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago
INT - DR. PAVLOV'S OFFICE
Cages are TORN OPEN EVERYWHERE, and DR. PAVLOV is
frantically pushing back into a tabletop corner. He is 
WIDE-EYED and PANTING in TERROR, as a PACK OF MANGY, 
STARVED DOGS with CRAZED EXPRESSIONS circle in around 
him, salivating everywhere. In the back of the room, the BIG 
CAGE bursts open, from where the incessant bell ringing 
has been coming from. A HUGE CAUCASIAN SHEPHERD with
it's wagging tail wrapped around Dr. Pavlov's heavy copper 
bell slowly walks out, eyes glazed with cold hate and rage.

BIG DOG (menacingly)
Tell me, Dr. Pavlov: for whom does the bell toll?

The BIG DOG swings the bell RESOUNDINGLY. The camera 
ZOOMS IN on DR. PAVLOV'S face as he SCREAMS, and the 
dogs jump on him, TEARING HIM APART. A piece of BONE  
flies out from the melee, striking the bell.

BIG DOG
Stimulating.

The camera backs out of the room, the door closing as it exits,
horrific screams dying out in a symphony of snarls. The camera 
turns around and moves towards the door on the opposite side 
of the hallway, where FLASHING ELECTRICAL LIGHTS and SPARKS 
are visible behind the slightly open door. A MAN'S screams 
can be heard amidst the rising SQUEALING. 
The sign on the door says "Dr. Skinner".
14 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago
INT - DR. SKINNER'S OFFICE
A PIDGEON that looks freakishly like Winston Churchill sits on a 
burgundy leather office chair. A cigar limply hangs from his beak
and with each puff he takes, he lets out a small coo on the exhale.
His beady eyes are fixed on a shaken character on the other side of
the office. 

DR SKINNER stands with his fingers attached to wires. His feet are
covered in a sticky and highly pungent black and white mess.
His lab coat, in tatters, trembles in time with his feeble body.

DR. SKINNER
I... I'm sorry! I never meant to treat your father like that! It was for
the good of humanki-

PIDGEON
SHUT YOUR BEAK. Or I'll be the skinner round 'ere. Skin you alive, I will.

DR. SKINNER
B-b-but Peter... we... we could make something of this. We could
be in journals everywhere, you and I. Think of it. Our name in print.
And lights!

PIDGEON
Lights, you say, Burrhus?

DR. SKINNER
Y-y-yes! 

PIDGEON
Guess I'll 'ave to flick the switch, then...

THE PIDGEON flicks a switch with a blood stained claw. There is a 
horrid stench of burning flesh as current travels down the wire.
THE PIDGEON reacts with a cacophony of cackles and coos.
DR. SKINNER convulses and the lights flicker in time with his
blood-curdling screams. 

PIDGEON
[Flicking off the switch and hopping off the chair.]
I suppose you can say that 'e's... learnt 'is lesson.

THE PIDGEON hobbles out of the office. He is brought to an abrupt
halt by a line of geese charging across the corridor, feet thwipping against 
the floor. One by one, THE GEESE all line up and rattle their beaks on an
office door with the name: "DR. LORENZ."

[Edit: At some point this is just going to be us amusing ourselves, isn't it?]

8 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago
INT - DR. LORENZ' OFFICE

We see DR. LORENZ barricading himself behind 
SACKS OF SAND, where he has propped up a 
MACHINE GUN. He is muttering wildly to himself, 
heavy pellets of sweat rolling from his forehead 
under the NAZI HELMET strapped on his head. 
A noticeably louder SMACK by the door raises 
his fretting eyes from the RIFLE he is loading;
the glass pane in his office door has CRACKED! 
The SILHOUETTES of the droning GEESE can be 
seen on the other side of the muted glass, their 
PECKING intensifying as they move for the BREACH. 

DR. LORENZ
Piß off you feathered devils, or I vill imprint your 
psyches vith hot lead!

The noise STOPS. DR. LORENZ slowly looks up
from behind the sand bags. Everything is dead 
quiet. Suddenly with a CRASH the door is SMASHED 
IN, in a FLURRY OF GLASS AND FEATHERS, geese 
torrenting into the office. DR. LORENZ yells and 
mounts the MACHINE GUN. He starts FIRING. Dead 
geese, feathers, blood and bullet casings fill the 
air as DR. LORENZ chews through the ammo crate. 

DR. LORENZ
Bond with zis, shitbirds!

SUDDENLY a goose HURLS ITSELF into the face 
of DR. LORENZ, knocking him to the ground. He 
SNAPS the neck of the bird, and SCRAMBLES for 
his PISTOL. We see the sandbags from the frog's 
perspective of DR. LORENZ, where the GEESE are 
appearing from over the top. He FIRES his gun at 
the descending horde of geese, picking off a few 
birds that are nevertheless instantly replaced as
they MARCH towards him. He runs out of ammo, 
and screams with tears in his eyes:

DR. LORENZ
No, stay away from me! I am not one of you! I 
made a mistake by not wearing gloves when I 
set you free as hatchlings, but you have all been 
vild and free ever since! I am not a goose, verdammt!

The geese CLOSE IN, forming a circle around the 
now sobbing figure of DR. LORENZ, as they open 
their wings in an interlocking, devouring embrace. 
They CHANT:

GEESE HORDE
One of us. One of us.

The camera slowly retreats out of the door as the 
geese envelop DR. LORENZ, who SCREAMS as the 
camera pans to the right, where as it arrives at the 
door at end of the hallway A MAN can be heard 
SOBBING, PLEADING FOR RESPITE over the 
bone-chilling, gleeful laughs of MONKEYS. A brass 
plaque torn out of the wall, lying on the ground reads 
"Dr. Harlow".

[I'm sure I don't know what you mean; we've got illustrious careers as straight-to-movie schlock horror-writers ahead of us!]

symphony of snarls

Beautiful.

Is this an anthology series? I love it.

I think it it now...

These are great. Like a grim version of goosebumps... meets American horror story. (+ twilight zone?).

I picture then as very entertaining short episodes.

Great short reads though. Thanks for the entertaining morning.

I'd watch this anime.

int main(void)

Oh oops -- wrong matchy. brb.

1 more reply

Schrodinger's Superposition, See it in Select Cities, Starting in September Seventy Second.

Sure I'm boring but you're getting it wrong. The cat is both alive and dead until the box is opened. Once it's opened, you then find out it's either one or the other.

I’m not sure he was really in there the whole time???

Nani!?

2 more replies

Another masterpiece. Welcome back. We've missed you dearly.

[deleted]
14 points · 5 months ago

it doesnt capture the alpha eyes though, and it's a chiuaua.

7 more replies

[deleted]
10 points · 5 months ago

AWildNightmareAppeared. Has anyone cashed in on that yet?

Holy shit you're back :D

Welcome back! How are you?

1 more reply

I don't understand. You "quit" in grand, dramatic fashion just a couple months ago. Even had a big goodbye post with Admins all in the thread. And now you're back? That's just weird dude.

12 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

It's almost like people can just do what they feel like doing. It's nice to see him back regardless of the circumstances.

Edit: I did not mean for this to be rude but can see that it certainly comes off that way. I am sorry, OP. I hope you have a good rest of your weekend.

Yeah I welcome back that account. Circumstances change. Retirement isn't for everyone.

Karma's a helluva drug.

1 more reply

looks like a dog

Whew a fresh sketch, amazing, i can almost smell the new paper!

2 points · 5 months ago

GRRRRRRR

I read that in kajit's voice...

18 points · 5 months ago

Khajit stole nothing! Khajit is innocent of this crime!

Khajit stole everything/nothing! Tell Schrödinger Khajit is guilty/innocent of this crime!

Khajiit*

Finally my user name is kinda useful/relevant!

98 points · 5 months ago

You are always useful/relevant and are never useful/relevant

I'm happy/sad about this comment

42 points · 5 months ago

I am pleased/disappointed in your response

61 points · 5 months agoGilded1

I upvoted/downvoted your comment

I am both the one who did/didn't gild your comment

Hmmmmmmmm

I read/unread your comment.

Username checks out

It checks out and it doesn't

Actually, if you wanna get technical, It checks out, It doesnt check out, And it both does and doesnt at the same time.

Same!

Mo'fucka got some unfinished business to take care of...

You shouldn't have looked in the box

People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer. But now, yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back.Tell him, tell them all.... whoever comes, whoever it is, I’ll scratch them! I’ll scratch them all!

well, Schrodinger argued the cat would be either alive or dead, but couldnt be both at the same time

so, maybe you should tell those who subscribe to the copenhagen interpretation instead ...

13 points · 5 months ago

It's quite amusing how his thought experiment turned against Schrödinger. All he wanted to do was to point out how ridiculous that whole thing was.

Yeah. And now he's dead. What an idiot!

His cat is fucking dead, too.

or is he?

But, I just want to feel smart and make others know I am smart at the same time. Why you have to ruin it?

Are you sure its the same cat that went in think about it There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter the Scary Door.

Thank you for that.

My dad worked govt island, flew out Mon, back Fri. He got permission for family spend weekend at these cottages on island. Toy poodle was smuggled onto plane no issues. On way back he panicked and chewed & clawed his way out and sat on my lap rest of way. Crew was laughing, but that was our only trip there. I imagine he got in trouble. (Early 80's, no security back then)

Did I throw up in the bed or in your shoes... or both?

Wouldn't Schrödinger need to repeat the experiment 10 times, to be sure?

16 thousand points for a picture of a cat doing what every single cat owner since people started owning cats and using cardboard boxes have seen at some point, because of the (I will begrudgingly admit) clever title.

I love how it says "vitality" on the box.

What a golden caption OP. Well done.

Revenge is coming!

Say. My. Name.

No, not that one. Schrödinger.

And when I find him, I am going to tear him a new asshole!

I survived, Bitch!

DONT DEAD CAT OPEN INSIDE!

Nah, it's a copy cat!

2 points · 5 months ago

Nice Umlaut

Upcote only for the caption

2 points · 5 months ago

I'd love to tell him, but he's in his own box now.

Burst out laughing, excellent caption.

Tell that muther fucker to open the god damn box!

Now the real question that Schrodinger never asked. If you stick your fingers in there will you get a pet or a bite?

My GOODNESS what an angry cat

This really needs to be a sci-fi story, told from the point of view of the cat within the Schrödinger box. OP should cross-post this to /r/writingprompts

Tell Schrödinger... now I'm a radioactive cat...

That's not what shrodinger's box is....

1 more reply

That moment when science goes just a little bit too far...

No box can hold me!

The quantum cat is back...

He didn’t.

Nice wave functions you have there...It would be a shame if someone...collapsed them.

Well... He didn't

"Ah, my box of murder has arrived ..."

EVILLLLLLLLL

so I see u ordered Chinese takeout for dinner

Well, we don't really know if he's actually alive, so...

That cat looks...spooky.

OP delivered.

Nani?

ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!

Nermal used to be such a sweet kitty. Abu Dabi really changed her.

What kind of cat is this?

“... I thought I ordered a pocket pussy. What the hell is this?!”

This looks like the start of a revenge movie.

Tell Shaun H from Edmonton I survived

Don't know if you'll survive removing that box...

“I only survived because the box around me was weaker than the teeth inside me.”

This has r/WritingPrompts written all over it.

Schrödinger wishes he was himself in the other universe.

His facial expression is more akin to "Tell Schrödinger I'm coming for him."

Damn you!

"I lived bitch"

I don’t think he would be too surprised...50/50 shot

Just finished few episodes of Hellsing Ultimate and now I'm scared.

"I lived, bitch"

Evil demon cat hiding in a box.

[deleted]
1 point · 5 months ago

I was raised in the darkness... you think about that for a minute.

This is so stupid.

1 point · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

Next Topic: The Cat's Schroedinger.

[deleted]
1 point · 5 months ago

WAVE FUNCTION COLLAPSED

Is it my cat? It looks the same

“They thought I was dead but as you can see I’m alive” -kill bill music-

who is being observed in this equation?

This is so lame that I unsubscribed

He looked pissed af like.... Bruh you gon help me out this fucking box tho...

I think this theory is the stupidest thing ever. Just as well as whole quantum theory thing. It just sounds sci-fi cool and the only good thing that came out of it is Bioshock infinite..

yes, I know that quantum processors are a thing... but those don't really have anything to do with quantum theory

“I lived bitch”

"I'm not about to let one little Cesium atom determine my fate."

...and I WILL have the Dragon Scroll!!

Only a 2 year old photo.

A perfect example of the Schrödinger thing, is the moment before you know if the song is “Under Pressure” or “Ice Ice Baby”

1 more reply

FUUUUUCCKK, not again.

[deleted]
1 point · 5 months ago

It was a thought experiment. The guy never owned a cat.

cat in a box

51 more replies

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