top 200 commentsshow all 255

[–]thxxx1337 1578 points1579 points  (51 children)

.... And I'm coming for him next. Dramatic music.

[–]WolfyTAD 456 points457 points  (25 children)

I guess the cat is out of the box...

[–]Tippynut 204 points205 points  (20 children)

...and then into the bag.

[–]mytwocentsXX 128 points129 points  (13 children)

... and then into a box again

[–]poopellar 61 points62 points  (7 children)


[–]Alarid 33 points34 points  (6 children)

6 more times and we'll finally have slain the terrible beast

[–]CivilizedBeast 21 points22 points  (4 children)

I ain't terrible

[–]2015071 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Username... checks....... out................... ...?

[–]TeAmFlAiL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope so but since there a probability that the furry monster only does 50% of the to me, we might be in for a long ride.

[–]ShitpostingSalamence 3 points4 points  (0 children)

...Cuz its out of the bag

[–]Black-Sapphire 2 points3 points  (0 children)

With a cucumber

[–]TheWolfeOfWalmart 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The idiot box

[–]WisteriaTiger 2 points3 points  (1 child)

And the bag's in the river.

[–]DontOpenTilXmas 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, the classic expression, "The cat's into the bag"!

[–]Arviay 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Porque no los dos

[–]Soccadude123 3 points4 points  (2 children)


[–]Gestrid 0 points1 point  (1 child)

It's just a piece of string.

[–]laserbee 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's really just a theory

[–]not_enugh_characters 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This got me singing the "Out of the Box" theme song.

[–]ObscureCulturalMeme 37 points38 points  (2 children)

The first lolcat that I ever saw, ages ago, was of a cat in a falling-apart box much like this. Had one front leg shoved though a small hole, paw reaching for the camera. Through another small hole, one eyeball could be seen.

Caption: for the love of God, Montressor!

[–]FlusteredByBoobs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Cat memes started off classic, quoting from "The Cask of Amontillado" by Edgar Allan Poe.

It got popular, it attracted idiots. Nowadays you'll have to sift through the noise just to find the good ones.

[–]smegma_stan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to see that

[–]sangvert 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Here’s Johnny!!!!

[–]The_real_rafiki 7 points8 points  (0 children)

'First off, fuck yo box and the clique you claim, Westside when we ride, come equipped with game'

[–]Madmushroom 3 points4 points  (1 child)

we need a movie poster for this

[–]yahia999 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Like the beginning of Kill Bill 2.

[–]riotmaster256 2 points3 points  (0 children)

or not...

[–]captaincontradiction 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Directed by m night shyamalan

[–]FD4L 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tell Schrödinger that he is alive and dead.

[–]timrs 1 point2 points  (4 children)

Wait a minute... that ain't Schrodinger's cat at all!

[–]synbioskuun 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Or is it?

[–]jamirocky888 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Plot twist.... it's Schrodinger wearing his cat's head

[–]synbioskuun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Double twist: it's actually a cat wearing Schrodinger's headless body.

[–]straightouttaireland 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can someone please do this?

[–]HipsterOtter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get out of my head!

[–]Bornattork 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Du du duhhhhhh

[–]AUseableUsername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“looked dead, didn’t I?”

[–]ThisFckinGuy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"On second thought"

music stops, close up

"I'll tell him myself."

cat leaps at camera, screen goes black, screaming and tearing sounds are heard

[–]badpersian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That could be turned into a movie.

[–]Smatter_Witchoo 325 points326 points  (4 children)

Xerox box, must be a copy cat.

[–]Anshulbatman19 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Why is this not among the top comments (or is it simultaneously at the top and bottom.... basically in the middle)

[–]bighootay 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Just woke up, checked. It is approximately in the middle for me.

Mind. blown.

[–]OlcanRaider 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mind blown and safe at the same time Schrodinger's mind

[–]super-SJW 300 points301 points  (3 children)

This cat exists in two simultaneous states; angry and vengeful.

[–]mikkeldaman 35 points36 points  (1 child)

But those are not mutually exclusive states, unlike the cat being alive and Schrödinger being alive.

[–]western_red 6 points7 points  (0 children)

And what happened to the electron? Did the cat kill it?

[–]EliotHudson 618 points619 points  (20 children)

Tell Schrodinger...he's now alive...and dead

[–]HenshinHero11 179 points180 points  (2 children)

His fate is about to become a lot more certain.

[–]CivilizedBeast 21 points22 points  (0 children)

That moment when Schrödinger realises the box isn't sealed, but fate is.

[–]CodeMonkey1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

His wave function is about to collapse.

[–]megamouth2 100 points101 points  (10 children)

A white cat with piercing green eyes and blood spatter eagerly bats a human brain
around like a ball of wool. 
Out of nowhere, a look of terror overcomes the face of the feline, and it begins to 
violently convulse. It yowls, hacking and coughing repeatedly; the look on its face
becoming more pained and terrifying by the second. It struggles and struggles to cough 
until something is shot out out of its mouth at a terrifying pace. A whole human eyeball.

That's the last observation he'll ever make.

The cat slinks away and into the distance, and we see it walk past an office with a puddle
of water seeping out from under the door and bells ringing repeatedly. The name plate on
the door reads "Dr. Pavlov"

[–]khuzdum 26 points27 points  (6 children)

frantically pushing back into a tabletop corner. He is 
him, salivating everywhere. In the back of the room, the BIG 
CAGE bursts open, from where the incessant bell ringing 
has been coming from. A HUGE CAUCASIAN SHEPHERD with
it's wagging tail wrapped around Dr. Pavlov's heavy copper 
bell slowly walks out, eyes glazed with cold hate and rage.

BIG DOG (menacingly)
Tell me, Dr. Pavlov: for whom does the bell toll?

The BIG DOG swings the bell RESOUNDINGLY. The camera 
ZOOMS IN on DR. PAVLOV'S face as he SCREAMS, and the 
dogs jump on him, TEARING HIM APART. A piece of BONE  
flies out from the melee, striking the bell.


The camera backs out of the room, the door closing as it exits,
horrific screams dying out in a symphony of snarls. The camera 
turns around and moves towards the door on the opposite side 
of the hallway, where FLASHING ELECTRICAL LIGHTS and SPARKS 
are visible behind the slightly open door. A MAN'S screams 
can be heard amidst the rising SQUEALING. 
The sign on the door says "Dr. Skinner".

[–]megamouth2 13 points14 points  (1 child)

A PIDGEON that looks freakishly like Winston Churchill sits on a 
burgundy leather office chair. A cigar limply hangs from his beak
and with each puff he takes, he lets out a small coo on the exhale.
His beady eyes are fixed on a shaken character on the other side of
the office. 

DR SKINNER stands with his fingers attached to wires. His feet are
covered in a sticky and highly pungent black and white mess.
His lab coat, in tatters, trembles in time with his feeble body.

I... I'm sorry! I never meant to treat your father like that! It was for
the good of humanki-

SHUT YOUR BEAK. Or I'll be the skinner round 'ere. Skin you alive, I will.

B-b-but Peter... we... we could make something of this. We could
be in journals everywhere, you and I. Think of it. Our name in print.
And lights!

Lights, you say, Burrhus?


Guess I'll 'ave to flick the switch, then...

THE PIDGEON flicks a switch with a blood stained claw. There is a 
horrid stench of burning flesh as current travels down the wire.
THE PIDGEON reacts with a cacophony of cackles and coos.
DR. SKINNER convulses and the lights flicker in time with his
blood-curdling screams. 

[Flicking off the switch and hopping off the chair.]
I suppose you can say that 'e's... learnt 'is lesson.

THE PIDGEON hobbles out of the office. He is brought to an abrupt
halt by a line of geese charging across the corridor, feet thwipping against 
the floor. One by one, THE GEESE all line up and rattle their beaks on an
office door with the name: "DR. LORENZ."

[Edit: At some point this is just going to be us amusing ourselves, isn't it?]

[–]khuzdum 8 points9 points  (0 children)


We see DR. LORENZ barricading himself behind 
SACKS OF SAND, where he has propped up a 
MACHINE GUN. He is muttering wildly to himself, 
heavy pellets of sweat rolling from his forehead 
under the NAZI HELMET strapped on his head. 
A noticeably louder SMACK by the door raises 
his fretting eyes from the RIFLE he is loading;
the glass pane in his office door has CRACKED! 
The SILHOUETTES of the droning GEESE can be 
seen on the other side of the muted glass, their 
PECKING intensifying as they move for the BREACH. 

Piß off you feathered devils, or I vill imprint your 
psyches vith hot lead!

The noise STOPS. DR. LORENZ slowly looks up
from behind the sand bags. Everything is dead 
quiet. Suddenly with a CRASH the door is SMASHED 
torrenting into the office. DR. LORENZ yells and 
mounts the MACHINE GUN. He starts FIRING. Dead 
geese, feathers, blood and bullet casings fill the 
air as DR. LORENZ chews through the ammo crate. 

Bond with zis, shitbirds!

SUDDENLY a goose HURLS ITSELF into the face 
of DR. LORENZ, knocking him to the ground. He 
SNAPS the neck of the bird, and SCRAMBLES for 
his PISTOL. We see the sandbags from the frog's 
perspective of DR. LORENZ, where the GEESE are 
appearing from over the top. He FIRES his gun at 
the descending horde of geese, picking off a few 
birds that are nevertheless instantly replaced as
they MARCH towards him. He runs out of ammo, 
and screams with tears in his eyes:

No, stay away from me! I am not one of you! I 
made a mistake by not wearing gloves when I 
set you free as hatchlings, but you have all been 
vild and free ever since! I am not a goose, verdammt!

The geese CLOSE IN, forming a circle around the 
now sobbing figure of DR. LORENZ, as they open 
their wings in an interlocking, devouring embrace. 

One of us. One of us.

The camera slowly retreats out of the door as the 
geese envelop DR. LORENZ, who SCREAMS as the 
camera pans to the right, where as it arrives at the 
door at end of the hallway A MAN can be heard 
bone-chilling, gleeful laughs of MONKEYS. A brass 
plaque torn out of the wall, lying on the ground reads 
"Dr. Harlow".

[I'm sure I don't know what you mean; we've got illustrious careers as straight-to-movie schlock horror-writers ahead of us!]

[–]eastindywalrus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

symphony of snarls


[–]ReadsStuff 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Is this an anthology series? I love it.

[–]megamouth2 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think it it now...

[–]KngNothing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

These are great. Like a grim version of goosebumps... meets American horror story. (+ twilight zone?).

I picture then as very entertaining short episodes.

Great short reads though. Thanks for the entertaining morning.

[–]QuickLava 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I'd watch this anime.

[–]jinxjar 2 points3 points  (1 child)

int main(void)

Oh oops -- wrong matchy. brb.

[–]XXX-Jade-Is-Rad-XXX 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Schrodinger's Superposition, See it in Select Cities, Starting in September Seventy Second.

[–]be0wulf8860 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sure I'm boring but you're getting it wrong. The cat is both alive and dead until the box is opened. Once it's opened, you then find out it's either one or the other.

[–]cvnichols 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure he was really in there the whole time???

[–]AWildSketchAppeared 428 points429 points  (22 children)

[–]-hankscorpio- 89 points90 points  (8 children)

Another masterpiece. Welcome back. We've missed you dearly.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (7 children)

it doesnt capture the alpha eyes though, and it's a chiuaua.

[–]tickleyourfrontbutt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

AWildNightmareAppeared. Has anyone cashed in on that yet?

[–]Blue_Bit 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Holy shit you're back :D

[–]castlite 7 points8 points  (5 children)

I don't understand. You "quit" in grand, dramatic fashion just a couple months ago. Even had a big goodbye post with Admins all in the thread. And now you're back? That's just weird dude.

[–]thedirtybeagle 10 points11 points  (1 child)

It's almost like people can just do what they feel like doing. It's nice to see him back regardless of the circumstances.

Edit: I did not mean for this to be rude but can see that it certainly comes off that way. I am sorry, OP. I hope you have a good rest of your weekend.

[–]yellekc 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I welcome back that account. Circumstances change. Retirement isn't for everyone.

[–]drakeg4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Karma's a helluva drug.

[–]ANAREXIA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

looks like a dog

[–]ShadowWolf92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whew a fresh sketch, amazing, i can almost smell the new paper!

[–]NukeML 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]Datharion 32 points33 points  (3 children)

I read that in kajit's voice...

[–]jesst 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Khajit stole nothing! Khajit is innocent of this crime!

[–]upsidedown_insideout 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Khajit stole everything/nothing! Tell Schrödinger Khajit is guilty/innocent of this crime!

[–]SchrodingersThirdCat 146 points147 points  (12 children)

Finally my user name is kinda useful/relevant!

[–]Siretir 97 points98 points  (6 children)

You are always useful/relevant and are never useful/relevant

[–]SchrodingersThirdCat 48 points49 points  (5 children)

I'm happy/sad about this comment

[–]Siretir 40 points41 points  (4 children)

I am pleased/disappointed in your response

[–]RedditIsUseless0 59 points60 points  (3 children)

I upvoted/downvoted your comment

[–]trapbuilder2 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am both the one who did/didn't gild your comment

[–]flashLotus 3 points4 points  (0 children)


[–]i_am_lalchang 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I read/unread your comment.

[–]Danitoba 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Username checks out

[–]SchrodingersThirdCat 7 points8 points  (1 child)

It checks out and it doesn't

[–]Danitoba 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Actually, if you wanna get technical, It checks out, It doesnt check out, And it both does and doesnt at the same time.

[–]crawling_king_snake1 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Mo'fucka got some unfinished business to take care of...

[–]CherManMao 15 points16 points  (1 child)

You shouldn't have looked in the box

[–]craigyferg25 12 points13 points  (0 children)

People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer. But now, yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back.Tell him, tell them all.... whoever comes, whoever it is, I’ll scratch them! I’ll scratch them all!

[–]russian_hackers 24 points25 points  (5 children)

well, Schrodinger argued the cat would be either alive or dead, but couldnt be both at the same time

so, maybe you should tell those who subscribe to the copenhagen interpretation instead ...

[–]azorlax 11 points12 points  (4 children)

It's quite amusing how his thought experiment turned against Schrödinger. All he wanted to do was to point out how ridiculous that whole thing was.

[–]LarryKleist711 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Yeah. And now he's dead. What an idiot!

[–]fenix_L[🍰] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

His cat is fucking dead, too.

[–]TrainCommuter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But, I just want to feel smart and make others know I am smart at the same time. Why you have to ruin it?

[–]CaptinOfNothing 14 points15 points  (3 children)

Are you sure its the same cat that went in think about it There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

[–]Full_Baked 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter the Scary Door.

[–]spluad 3 points4 points  (1 child)

[–]vtx3000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that.

[–]2krazy4me 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My dad worked govt island, flew out Mon, back Fri. He got permission for family spend weekend at these cottages on island. Toy poodle was smuggled onto plane no issues. On way back he panicked and chewed & clawed his way out and sat on my lap rest of way. Crew was laughing, but that was our only trip there. I imagine he got in trouble. (Early 80's, no security back then)

[–]MortWellian 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did I throw up in the bed or in your shoes... or both?

[–]dfslkjbnltalrvlxdguh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't Schrödinger need to repeat the experiment 10 times, to be sure?

[–]DontOpenTilXmas 2 points3 points  (0 children)

16 thousand points for a picture of a cat doing what every single cat owner since people started owning cats and using cardboard boxes have seen at some point, because of the (I will begrudgingly admit) clever title.

[–]emmeline_melc 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I love how it says "vitality" on the box.

[–]LesTerribles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a golden caption OP. Well done.

[–]acryiaon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Revenge is coming!

[–]anonymous-coward 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Say. My. Name.

No, not that one. Schrödinger.

[–]IsayPoirot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And when I find him, I am going to tear him a new asshole!

[–]abd00bie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I survived, Bitch!

[–]MrsIronbad 1 point2 points  (0 children)


[–]ThanklessTask 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, it's a copy cat!

[–]ox- 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nice Umlaut

[–]Hench21 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Upcote only for the caption

[–]Pixxet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd love to tell him, but he's in his own box now.

[–]WATTHEBALL 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Burst out laughing, excellent caption.

[–]Iam1ofmany 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell that muther fucker to open the god damn box!

[–]ImOnHereForPorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now the real question that Schrodinger never asked. If you stick your fingers in there will you get a pet or a bite?

[–]offbrandsoap 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My GOODNESS what an angry cat

[–]lendergle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This really needs to be a sci-fi story, told from the point of view of the cat within the Schrödinger box. OP should cross-post this to /r/writingprompts

[–]Bob_0101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tell Schrödinger... now I'm a radioactive cat...

[–]shitterplug 0 points1 point  (1 child)

That's not what shrodinger's box is....

[–]Clasm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That moment when science goes just a little bit too far...

[–]flightoftheyorkbee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No box can hold me!

[–]xion_gg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The quantum cat is back...

[–]EinOliver 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He didn’t.

[–]SnugMeatSocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice wave functions you have there...It would be a shame if someone...collapsed them.

[–]SiMonsterrrr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well... He didn't

[–]FatQuack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Ah, my box of murder has arrived ..."

[–]bitch_grinder 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]KyloRenKardashian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so I see u ordered Chinese takeout for dinner

[–]BitchesEnRegalia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, we don't really know if he's actually alive, so...

[–]upandrunning 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That cat looks...spooky.

[–]Real_Gluesticky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP delivered.

[–]Morthun 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]Hammonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nermal used to be such a sweet kitty. Abu Dabi really changed her.

[–]Kotation 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What kind of cat is this?

[–]SixSpice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“... I thought I ordered a pocket pussy. What the hell is this?!”

[–]misomiso82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This looks like the start of a revenge movie.

[–]CantDenyReality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell Shaun H from Edmonton I survived

[–]Silverfell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't know if you'll survive removing that box...

[–]ComradeGarcia_Pt2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I only survived because the box around me was weaker than the teeth inside me.”

[–]smac232 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This has r/WritingPrompts written all over it.

[–]Tibanne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Schrödinger wishes he was himself in the other universe.

[–]Saratje 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His facial expression is more akin to "Tell Schrödinger I'm coming for him."

[–]Shrodingers_Dog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn you!

[–]Skupsik 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I lived bitch"

[–]hunter0312 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think he would be too surprised...50/50 shot

[–]pFiT_is_pFiT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just finished few episodes of Hellsing Ultimate and now I'm scared.

[–]GarlekSupreme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I lived, bitch"

[–]OliviaElevenDunham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Evil demon cat hiding in a box.

[–]portuga 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was raised in the darkness... you think about that for a minute.

[–]Paddywhacker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so stupid.

[–]die_liebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Next Topic: The Cat's Schroedinger.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)


[–]meme_finder1337 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it my cat? It looks the same

[–]daetsmlolliw 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“They thought I was dead but as you can see I’m alive” -kill bill music-

[–]frothbat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

who is being observed in this equation?

[–]wheretogo_whattodo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so lame that I unsubscribed

[–]whoinvitedbuzzkill 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He looked pissed af like.... Bruh you gon help me out this fucking box tho...

[–]HiCZoK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this theory is the stupidest thing ever. Just as well as whole quantum theory thing. It just sounds sci-fi cool and the only good thing that came out of it is Bioshock infinite..

yes, I know that quantum processors are a thing... but those don't really have anything to do with quantum theory

[–]spartacus346 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I lived bitch”

[–]cr4m62 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I'm not about to let one little Cesium atom determine my fate."

[–]diveintothe9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...and I WILL have the Dragon Scroll!!

[–]Whycelium 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only a 2 year old photo.

[–]TheDweardedOne 0 points1 point  (1 child)

A perfect example of the Schrödinger thing, is the moment before you know if the song is “Under Pressure” or “Ice Ice Baby”

[–]Erwin-Schrodinger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

FUUUUUCCKK, not again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a thought experiment. The guy never owned a cat.

[–]ILoveMyself420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cat in a box