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57.0k

Sounds about right.

2.7k comments
86% Upvoted
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14.1k points · 6 months agoGilded1 · edited 6 months ago

This guy farms so hard even his head is cropped.

He's outstanding in his field.

1.2k points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

This is better than all other farmer jokes combined.

Edit: Oh Deere, what have we started?

These jokes are threshing me.

I dunno, they're a little corny for me.

369 points · 6 months ago

We should bale

245 points · 6 months ago

Hay, don't go putting the cart before the horse.

369 points · 6 months ago

It’s ok, I’m a stable genius.

219 points · 6 months ago

God Dammit, if there are any more Farming Puns, lettuce know

135 points · 6 months ago

Oh Deere.

Farms

Till next time

Turnip the beet and let the barn dance continue.

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I go against the grain.

He counted his eggs before they hatched

Dozen matter...

15 points · 6 months ago

Why are you feeding us these terrible puns?

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Wheat just a minute...

His favorite song is Harvester of Sorrow.

This thread’s kinda grown on me.

Bean there done that

Think this thread’s been milked

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Nah, they're a-maize-ing

Sow, what's left to pun? Peas let me know as you plow through this feed.

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40 points · 6 months ago

Hay, hay now.

12 points · 6 months ago

Don't dream it's clover.

They are sheer poultry.

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Now he'll get to farm that sweet sweet karma thanks to it.

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He’s milking it for all its worth.

Go on then, reap your karma.

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Dad? Have you gotten the cigarettes yet?

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Man that's so corny.

Aw shucks

Yet there is a kernel of truth.

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52 points · 6 months ago

He’s on his phone like “Haaaaay girl”

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2.4k points · 6 months ago

He should go back to selling propane and propane accessories.

6am and that boy already ain’t right

17 points · 6 months ago

Maybe I'll take him to work, show him how his old man pays for his bath salts!

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I tell you hwat

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Got-dangit Dale!

Bobby! I got propane in my urethra!

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🎵propane propane🎵

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5.9k points · 6 months ago

Am farmer; can confirm. Although I'm organic so people think I'm saving them when in reality I just lose more money

2.4k points · 6 months ago

When the farmer won the lottery, what did he do with the money?

Farm until it was all gone.

1.2k points · 6 months ago

Similar:

How do you make a small fortune in farming? Start with a big fortune.

167 points · 6 months ago

Works for aviation too. Lots of farmers like flying, maybe its a genetic thing, they are attracted to things that lose money.

boats too, I'd assume.

You know what BOAT stands for, right?

Bust Out Another Thousand

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50 points · 6 months ago

The happiest days of a man's life are when he buys a boat and when he sells the boat.

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205 points · 6 months ago

TIL Farming can control inflation.

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Bit corny, but I like it..

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Average wages of farmers annually

As a farmer, do you mostly save on food costs? Also, do you have massive assets in your land and machinery?

lmao when I got to the part about farming not being a growing business

The business of "growing things" is not a "growing business." I wonder if the author saw the humor.

Ironic. He could grow other things, but not his own business.

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I don't like soil. It's dank and moist and everything grows in it.

It’s growing season then.

Is it possible to learn this business?

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It’s like 2% of jobs in the USA, when decades ago it was like 60%. In that sense it’s certainly not growing.

It's a growing business, as in they grow things.

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121 points · 6 months ago

He may be a fruit or vegetable farmer in which case, probably not. My parents grow 40 acres of cherries and apples. We eat a lot of those two things, but its not reducing the amount of other food you'd want.

Yup we grow grapes and nuts. We could try to love on just those, but our grocery bills are as high as anyone else's. I don't think too many Americans are subsistence farmers these days

Have you thought about getting into the cereal business? I mean it's like you're half way there already.

Hey wait a minute, there aren't any grapes OR nuts in this! WTF!

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Based on the conversations I’ve had with farmers, I’m guessing land maybe. But machinery? Probs a money sucker for the maintenance.

They probably wouldn’t save too much on food costs unless they had a very diverse farm in terms what they plant/what animals they had. Most farms in the Midwest focus on one thing. Farms where I live now (Oregon) seem to have more variety of plants and animals.

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I got to the part about from dawn til dusk. It is way before dawn, til well after dusk. In the southwest, irrigation can happen at night. I remember farm hands sleeping in the field near the end so when the water got there it would wake them up to go turn it off. This method is NOT recommended as the creepy crawlies flee the water, generally over you.

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254 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Can I ask you a couple of serious questions?

  • why do you stay in farming if you aren't making money in the long-term?

  • are there just more farmers and food than needed? If so then wouldn't it be beneficial for society if there were fewer farmers and the resources were put into something else?

I'm asking because I'm genuinely curious. Please don't take these questions the wrong way.

Edit: you guys are awesome. Thanks for so many responses. There's definitely a variety of responses, but from them I have gathered that:

  • farming income is not consistent from year to year but successful farms will make money in the long-term

  • most money is tied up in assets such as land and equipment

  • you all love the work even though it's hard

  • like other businesses there is a serious impact on profitability based on location and product

I seriously appreciate the responses. I work in a completely different field so I have next to no experience in farming other than the shitty garden I try and grow ever year but fails.

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200 points · 6 months ago
  • are there just more farmers and food than needed? If so then wouldn't it be beneficial for society if there were fewer farmers and the resources were put into something else?

I have a feeling the answer to this is "you're not gonna like what happens to the price of food if this happens"

Except that some of what is being produced is going towards demand that doesn't actually need to exist, like ethanol.

Oversupply matched by overdemand. We could easily downscale both sides of the equation without increasing prices.

53 points · 6 months ago

Or being thrown out becuase it doesn't look perfect. We can reduce the actual supply a lot without reducing the apparent supply at all.

29 points · 6 months ago

Some of the imperfect stuff is still used in things like canned vegetables, sauces, animal feed, etc.

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Yes, I was really happy to see that my supermarket has a 'misfit' vegetables section. It is just food that doesn't look perfect, but is exactly the same otherwise. A lot of the problems with food waste and the supply chain come from the bottom with people who are super picky. It takes a lot to break the habit too. It's hard to spend money on something that doesn't seem as perfect as the other product, and it takes a willing effort (at least for me) to tell myself to stop being a baby, and pick the wonky looking red pepper.

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Keep in mind: not all farm crops are exclusively food. Corn can be put into ethanol, for example. And a lot of the corn I grow is used in feed for pigs. Which is still producing food, yes, but not as directly as you think.

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Keep in mind farming’s not a job, it’s a way of life. You live on the land you farm. It’s not easy to just go do something different.

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I'm not the OP, neither a farmer, though I did live and work on a farm when I was a kid:

My guess is that they really love what they do. I know my grandpa did. And the hope is that those that don't really love what they do they give up farming, therefore ending up with fewer, but richer farmers.

And, for a lot of them (as is the case for most middle-age/older people), they simply don't know anything else, so ... that's what they know, that's what they do.

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Is it true you end up producing less food with the same amount of land?

Yes. Non organic fertilizers and pesticides allow for higher yields per acre.

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If you farm organic yes

Soruce: am a farmer

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24 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Dairy farmer here.

The toughest part of our industry is the broken pricing system. The price of milk is set by the government by an archaic legislative formula (based on the price of cheese on the Chicago milk exchange). You get paid the same if you have 10 cows or 10,000. Obviously the 10,000 cow guy is able to negotiate better prices for his input costs and buy much better equipment. This effect is unlike any other industry, where your margins / end price decrease the more product you make.

It's kind of like putting a generator in your basement and competing with a power plant. A lot of people love it and hang in there, but it's tough.

Edit: Sorry - you guys below are right - it's not capitalism. Prices dairy farmers get are set by the government. You get the same price regardless of the size of your business. There is a rule of business that your margins decrease as your business gets larger (you get less money because you are more of a wholesaler). Dairy farms price and margins are set. It's just as easy to sell 10,000 gallons of milk as it is 100. The buy local movement helps, but not a lot of farmers have time to sell their products.

High volume means lower margin. Walmart sells a huge amount of stuff because they lowered their prices. Buying is the opposite - you get a discount when you buy a whole lot of something...

Imagine if there was a law that said all stores must charge the same price. Everything at Walmart has to cost the same as everything at the corner gas station. If you're not Walmart it's not worth trying to sell anything...

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375 points · 6 months ago

Who thinks farmers are trying to kill people and why?

Using gmos and certain pestacides. Pretty sure ddt is illegal these days. I used to be one of those foil hat wearing conspiracy theorists.

DDT is illegal to use, or sell domestically. US & Canada still make DDT, but sell it to "shithole countries". That's been going on since it was banned in the 70's.

Same with asbestos we love exporting that shit

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Yeah turns out saving millions from malaria is worth quite a few drawbacks.

7 points · 6 months ago

Yeah, if I remember the health risks from DDT ended up being really overblown?

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shithole countries

Too soon

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People think that GMO's are bad and give them cancer when in reality it's just plant sex, then they bitch and moan about pesticides being used when GM crops require less pesticides and water but they hate them because they think that they are scary test tube plants.

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To be fair, he does look like he wants to kill me.

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11 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Being from a rural part of PA I feel like a better ending of that shirt would comment on people being mad about getting stuck behind a tractor. I've never heard people thinking farmer's are out to kill them, just make them late for work.

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1.2k points · 6 months ago

People thing farmers are trying to kill them? What?

Gmos are bad mmmkay

2.4k points · 6 months agoGilded1

That explains people always talking about Big Farma!

I've clicked reply 10 times to say something to you, but this is the first time I'm just... I still have nothing. Congrats.

It's ok, it happens to the best of us, just try to not focus on it too hard

Just so you know for next time, you only have to press it once.

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As an ex-Whole Foods employee... Just hearing the term GMO now makes my blood boil. 99.9% of people have NO IDEA what it actually means, nor attempt to educate themselves in the slightest. Trying to have an honest conversation about it was like banging my head against a wall.

Also, was primarily a bartender at my location, so fueling hippie-chic soccer moms with bottles of wine at 11am and being forced to endure their drunken lectures about it didn’t help (Just smile and nod, maybe they’ll tip well).

I love GMO it is the answer to many things. Food shortages, tastier food, no need for pesticides yet people think "huurr durr cancer".

I have to bite my tongue every time I hear people in work talk about it. It's so aggravating.

That's a very specific population though, the type of 'liberal' that is anti corporate and anti-gmo yet shops for groceries at an Amazon owned retailer.

10 points · 6 months ago

Namely, the sort of population that doesn't think hard about their political positions at all. The world full of them.

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genetically modified organism is a funny term because there aren't any organisms on earth that have not had their genes modified over time

193 points · 6 months ago

Cell biologist here. The term means altered via human interference. Fwiw, the term is still funny because that captures a lot of different methods. But we wouldn't use it to describe evolution outside of human intervention.

Geneticist here. I agree. But I always say, "When we do artificial selection, we don't know what the fuck we're doing genetically. at least we know what we're changing with GMOs."

Not any sort of scientist at all here. I explained it to my kids like this: We used to use a sledgehammer, now we have a scalpel.

"Hey dad what's a scalpel"

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As someone who's mother thinks GMOs are bad it is because we don't know what else they are adding or how the things they change affect our bodies, I'm sorry.

I've tried to point out that genes are added from organisms we also know, not just willy nilly or the 60s method of irradiate it an see what happens. However the internet is full of crazy anecdotal evidences and blogs of people who say crazy things with PhDs in unrelated subjects.

Tomaaaaaaaacco....

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It’s really just ignorance. A lot of people don’t quite understand what genetic material / DNA is, so the idea of it scares them, and the idea of ‘modifying’ it scares them even more. I think there was a survey recently where like over half the responses said something like “I don’t want any DNA in my food”, which is hilarious

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99 points · 6 months ago

Pesti- and herbi- and homi- cides!

Daggum homo cides get off ma lawn!

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428 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Every farmer I know (tons of them) has a chip on their shoulder and think the world is out to get them. Furthermore, they're ALWAYS complaining about government handouts and subsidies and never seem to notice that they're one of the largest receivers of government subsidies. It honestly infuriates me.

Edit: I own 3 farms and am a farmer too among other occupations

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To play devil's advocate, they probably wouldn't complain about protectionism of coal miners or factory workers either. They believe their hard work is intrinsically valuable and justifies the payouts.

When they think about welfare they think of lazy people being paid up to nothing. This image is confirmed by the TV they watch and by the people they talk to. The generalization is of course dead wrong, but this is there they're coming from. You will never connect with them if you're comparing what is to them apples and oranges.

16 points · 6 months ago

Ooh that's a good point. That seems more accurate to what they think.

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I've never heard it framed as hyperbolic as "farmers are trying to kill people", But there's a lot of warning from the scientific community on certain industrial farming activities. For example, pesticidess in plants that have some links to cancer, and antibiotics in meat that are leading to antibiotic resistant "superbugs".

The GMO stuff is generally nonsense.

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202 points · 6 months ago

It's easy to become a millionaire by farming. You just have to start with a billion.

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How did he manage to get a gut like that doing hard labor over 92 hours a week?

1.8k points · 6 months ago

Depending on what he's doing, he might spend a good portion of his time in power equipment.

Or he might not even be a farmer. You can get all sorts of things on the internet.

931 points · 6 months ago

I've never met a farmer who isn't overweight. It's all about the diet they seem to live by, lots of carbs and meat.

Lots of sitting in machines.

A good 10% of my time is spent in a machine. 110% of the rest of my time is spent fixing what broke while I was in the machine.

Source- farmer.

I think you need to check your math on that one

Can’t- shit still needs fixin

124 points · 6 months ago

Fixing things 32 hours a day.

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Let the man work

Yeah, only 120% job is low for a farmer.

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He’s a farmer not a mathematician LEAVE HIM ALONE!

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And hiring cheap labor to do the shovel swinging.

That's what the kids in town are for

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My mother in law's boyfriend is a farmer. He's in good shape. He does watch what he eats, though.

You'd think a farmer would have an amazing diet but they don't necessarily grow a big variety of crops. This guy does sugar cane with soybean rotations and tbh rural areas can be food deserts.

Shocking. Farmers buy food from the grocery store just like everyone else.

ikr. People commenting saying food must be cheap for farmers. Sure like im gonna eat 1000 bushels of canada eastern red for the next five years. Goddamn the logic some people lack.

Right? 300 tons of soft white wheat in the silo doesn’t mean I’m eating it night and day

59 points · 6 months ago

especially pot farmers

72 points · 6 months ago

"Can we plant a Doritos tree in the greenhouse?"

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Comment deleted6 months ago

Bread. Corn. Cornbread. A well-rounded midwestern diet.

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10 points · 6 months ago

Also almost all of the corn you see in the Midwest isn't for human consumption.

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Its either that or tall and very thin. Not many inbetween in my experience.

plus the liqour

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My extended family are all farmers, and you're right. When they are eating 6000 calories every meal, they gain weight. The kids are all very fit, but the parents gain a lot of weight

When they are eating 6000 calories every meal, they gain weight.

Well yeah I mean Usain Bolt would gain weight on that diet.

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You can get a gut on the internet?

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Go to any construction site. You're bound to find a guy with a huge beer gut who is strong as an ox.

That would be my dad haha. His dr said he needs to lose 30 pounds.

My dad is fatter than yours!

I'm fatter than your dad!

Yeah, but are you fatter than your mom?

Wow, hell no.

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Look at Eddie Hall, strongest man in the world but has a canny sized gut on him.

Most strong men are very, very large. zydrunas savickas has always had quite the gut. Brian shaw is pretty big in the belly. It was only recently that Thor started cutting some weight and got pretty shredded for a guy that weighs 400lbs.

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He is breaking the first rule of farming. Don't get high on your own supply.

You've never seen fat construction workers? It's a thing.

I think in part it's because bodies get efficient at repetitive behaviors, making those behaviors burn fewer calories than they should. And, of course, eating way too much.

Yea, it's easy to overeat when doing manual labor as it often makes you quite hungry.

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12 points · 6 months ago

He farms bitcoin or maybe he's talking about harvest moon

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69 points · 6 months ago

Farmers come in all shapes and sizes. Imagine that. Some aspects of farming can be labor intensive and others are not.

drink tons of beer and eat lots of food

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303 points · 6 months ago

Do farmers really lose money these days? I thought most of them are actually quite well off.

Depends on the type of farm, size of farm, and whether. The past two years have been bad in our area with floods then droughts so we've had to claim insurance on numerous fields due to a ruined crop. Three years ago, though, corn was priced through the roof and alot of people took that opportunity to buy new equipment and land. Farming runs in cycles. You'll have a few good years and then a few bad. Save up for the bad when it's good and get by in the bad.

Whether what? Don't leave us hanging

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93 points · 6 months ago

Even though you had to file insurance, you still were paid right? And government subsidies too?

Most farmers create an LLC that they run, which then pays them a salary. If the LLC goes bankrupt the debtors can go after the machinery and stuff owned by the LLC, but not personal assets. A company can also handle financial swings better than a person's personal assets.

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10 points · 6 months ago

Am farmer and farm insurance agent Crop insurance (in Canada) is only intended to recoup costs, and not to provide any profit/income. It's really only there to get you close to $0 income instead of negative. Some crops, but not all crops (again Ontario) are not subsidized. It is not as wide spread as media tends to suggest.

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Total government aid to farmers in the US was $23.9 billion in 2017.

I just wish I knew where all this farmer money is. I have been looking for grants for months and the USA really doesn't seem to like handing out money for anything.

Way less than 1% of the budget buys you the cheapest and safest food supply in the world. Sounds like a good deal

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Ehhhhh...depends. a lot of the money they make has to be reinvested on next year's crops or updated tech and equipment to stay competitive.

Supply and demand also limits how much they can bring in. A great yield lowers prices, and a bad yield raises prices.

A lot of people have money on paper, but are one bad season from losing it all. The real money is in retirement when it all gets sold.

The reality is that this is most companies. Any small business is in the same boat, one bad year and they won't exist.

A lot of large businesses can lose it all in a year too, but you have the people who try to slow that hemorrhage of money.

The problem with farming vs any other business is that farmers still have the land ownership to deal with... A small business can close it's doors and walk away from the rented building.

Large businesses can sell most of their assets like land and buildings. But they could still go under in one bad year.

That's just the way business works. However in farming, the government knows we need food, so you get paid a little to keep doing anything at all. Even if it means you're now going bankrupt to try and keep the business afloat. No other business has the government asking/forcing you to stay in business.

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You need to start out slow by planting stuff like turnips and maybe save up for a chicken or 2 but after your 1st year you can eventually unlock the greenhouse and then you are pretty much set for the rest of the game.

Just don't waste the ancient fruit before you have the seed generator and greenhouse or you're gonna be set back for a while.

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Continual debt with super high costs of land and expensive equipment. Farmers basically make a bunch of money from their crop or livestock each year but a lot of the time a majority of the money just goes to making payments on the continual debt of the farm while allocating some of the money to pay those that work for you and yourself a salary.

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103 points · 6 months ago

I went to an agriculture school. Every kid in the ag business program had a $40,000+ truck.

Could be a Tax write off as farm equipment.

That’s exactly what it is. One of my coworkers just bought a new truck, but it was tax free because it’s technically labeled as a “work truck” for her husbands farm. Funny how the work truck doesn’t leave the parking lot...

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I live in the Central Valley in California. All the farmers complain but even with a drought a lot of them are very well off. I’m sure if you just started farming recently there would be some obstacles. Every once in a while I’ll talk to a farmer and asks how he is doing. One honest guy said, “I’m not gonna complain when my mouth is full.” The rich kids in my rural agriculture town were always the sons or daughters of farmers. And you bet they would be driving these expensive pickups when they got their license.

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34 points · 6 months ago

Farmers make a good living, they can't afford Ferrari's and a mansion, but they support a family just fine with farming.

And before I get downvoted to hell... think of all the farmers in the developed world... they aren't all just doing it for the fun of it or because they want to feed people. They are doing it because it makes money.

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wouldn't it be a verb in this use?

239 points · 6 months ago

Nope! This is a gerund — the act (noun) of doing a verb.

Gerund looks like a decent bloke.

Thx

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Gerund of Rivia

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10 points · 6 months ago

"Farming is an art."

Noun, verb, article, noun

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ITT, a bunch of people who know nothing about farming.

160 points · 6 months ago

I know how to farm like an expert, the secret is that you put Gatorade on the crops, because it has electrolytes.

It’s got what plants crave

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Why would a bunch of redditors know about farming, though?

Well, some of us grew up on farms with horses before we went to school and got a job in town we commute to. So we might know a little.

They know about karma farming

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39 points · 6 months ago

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I'd holler at his wife back there

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26 points · 6 months ago

I tell you hwat

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It's good profit though if you plant herbs for the 5 minutes it takes every hour and a half. Just make sure you have all necessary teleports.

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178 points · 6 months ago

Only most food in the supermarket in bigger cities actually comes from large corporate farms.

They give them cutesy names like "Fresh Farms" and "Jonhson's Family Farm" to make you think it's a local farm rather than a mass-factory operation.

I am very thankful I live in an area where you can stop on the side of the road and buy produce 100 feet from where it is grown.

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Actually, over 90% of farms in America are family owned. Corporate farms make up a very small percentage of the overall farming community. And much of that 90% is small family farms, but there has been a shift from small to large family farms over the years. I've attached a link here and here if you want to read more. Both links are USDA websites that discuss today's farming world. However, some farms can be "family farms" but receive product from corporations- chicken farming is an example of this and in my opinion that is an awful practice.

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