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[–]Brandomino 21.5k points21.5k points  (580 children)

Where the fuck does everybody on reddit keep finding Keanu reeves?

[–]dpahoe 11.7k points11.7k points  (171 children)

I think God decided to patch the rarity of KR from Rare to Common.

[–]Thanatar2 2699 points2700 points  (110 children)

[–]AceTenSuited 908 points909 points  (38 children)

[–]Uncle_Lenny 437 points438 points  (23 children)

Aka r/all

[–]J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS 220 points221 points  (22 children)

[–]FauxPastel 116 points117 points  (15 children)

AKA u/J4CKR4BB1TSL1MS

Yeah, I've seen you around.

[–]grpagrati 50 points51 points  (0 children)

Have we actually ever seen them together in the same room?

[–]lydocia 56 points57 points  (4 children)

I saw the birth of this subreddit and I feel responsible for upvoting its link every time I see it.

[–]Jigglyputz 35 points36 points  (2 children)

I think it's hilarious how fast this sub blew up within like 5 minutes of it being created the other day.

[–]ballercrantz 133 points134 points  (41 children)

While the Keneau patch is nice, we're still waiting on a few key updates. Not sure where the devs priorities are at.

[–]Bananawamajama 87 points88 points  (27 children)

Yeah, they've yet to fix the auto-hardcore-mode bug, respawns are almost entirely disabled

[–]NotMyCookie 55 points56 points  (12 children)

Well ye, isn't it like only one documented respawn which itself only was for 3 days before him despawning again? This was also before the new world patch wasn't?

[–]XxVcVxX 57 points58 points  (8 children)

It wasn't even documented properly, people still debate if that ever happened. There wasn't a recording of it either, just some unofficial chatlogs that got released.

[–]TekelDNB 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You'd think someone would have made sure to document it properly, being as how it'd never been done before, and hasn't been done since. I'm not convinced, but I've only put 275,000 hours in so far.

[–]midnghtsnack 23 points24 points  (8 children)

auto-hardcore-mode? Fuck, no wonder this game sucks, any way to turn that off and set to permanent easy mode?

[–]the_grand_idiot 9 points10 points  (2 children)

There are two ways of reading the last half of that sentence.

[–]Stompedyourhousewith 48 points49 points  (5 children)

that place can get you killed
better stay in /r/basement

[–]Tenglishbee 18 points19 points  (4 children)

That subreddit just killed me.

[–]Stompedyourhousewith 8 points9 points  (1 child)

i'm sorry.

[–]Moth_tamer 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’s okay he’s at peace now

[–]KingOfDamnation[🍰] 70 points71 points  (6 children)

Keanu Rare is now Common Reeves.

Edit spelling

[–]Zeejayyy 57 points58 points  (2 children)

RNGesus you mean?

[–]gengar_the_duck 30 points31 points  (1 child)

God writes the patch and then RNGesus executes his will.

[–]ehboobooo 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Looks like he’s wearing the same thing when he posed with the two girls where he wasn’t touching them with his hands. Terrible description but that’s all I got.

[–]hungryColumbite 27 points28 points  (1 child)

This was at Taran tactical, where he trained for that John Wick movie.

[–]GranimalSnake 27 points28 points  (13 children)

He did that after nerfing Lemmy completely out of the game.

[–]cptcormshark 28 points29 points  (8 children)

Who would win in a fight, Lemmy or God? Trick question, Lemmy is God.

Too fucking soon.

[–]reddit_take2 19 points20 points  (3 children)

You win some, lose some, it’s all the same to me

[–]toadofsteel 7 points8 points  (0 children)

After the large bug that caused a great deal of celebrities to be removed from the game, they buffed the Keanu appearance rate to compensate because he was one of the few uncompromised legendaries.

[–]blainestang 982 points983 points  (45 children)

If you're looking for a literal answer, she's wearing a Taran Tactical Innovations shirt and he's got a shooting belt on, so they're probably at TTIs shooting range.

[–]tokomini 250 points251 points  (25 children)

Well I know where I'll be setting up camp, hiding in the bushes and surviving off squirrel meat.

[–]burninglemon 125 points126 points  (18 children)

Do you want to get mistaken for Bigfoot?

Cause that is how you get mistaken for Bigfoot.

[–]redDisco 46 points47 points  (7 children)

Hey! Bigfoot would never eat a friendly little squirrel, how dare you!?

He eats babies, everybody knows that. Not his fault, he has to, to survive.

[–]TenshiS 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You fucked with the squirrels Morty!

[–]Mercwithapen 44 points45 points  (9 children)

Wick? I knew it!

[–]Bozzz1 14 points15 points  (1 child)

He could have just learned to love shooting guns from shooting the first two.

[–]grubas 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Pretty sure he started years back. Not sure if the Matrix got him started or something else.

But I believe that’s WHY Wick looked so good when it came to guns.

[–]AltSpRkBunny 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Keanu’s actually known for doing/having an interest in 3 gun competition shooting.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rCIgpUTvfsA

[–]midnghtsnack 4 points5 points  (4 children)

He is a method actor after all, just look at how well he portrayed his role in Bill and Ted

[–]Mercwithapen 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I love that movie. Keanu seems like a good guy to me.

[–]Doc_Martian 258 points259 points  (10 children)

Saw him 5 or 6 years ago while living in NYC. My friends and I were standing in front of the bar their band was playing at, and he walked by and they (perhaps tipsyly) said, "Hey Keanuuuuuu! Come watch our show!!" And he GLARED at them, like a true New Yorker. Seemed like a solid guy.

[–]worstkindagay 159 points160 points  (5 children)

We do not find Keanu. Keanu finds us.

[–]j3rrycol 45 points46 points  (5 children)

Hes in the matrix, he is everywhere

[–]M0n5tr0 80 points81 points  (10 children)

He's been smiling a lot more and out and about non stop. Happy to see happy Keanu.

[–]Optrode 304 points305 points  (100 children)

I feel like there's some kind of concerted PR effort underway.

[–]Riddla26 384 points385 points  (43 children)

To be fair, people fucking love Keanu Reeves. There's just something about the guy that makes you want to give him a sandwich he doesn't look disappointed with.

[–]frotc914 264 points265 points  (36 children)

I think it's because you never see him in the celebrity context. Like he's not doing interviews on late night, not walking red carpets, etc. He's just taking care of his own shit and people (correctly?) assume that he's a very down to earth guy as a result.

[–]Death_Star_ 229 points230 points  (30 children)

This reminds me of how much AMAs have gone downhill.

Not even rose tinted glasses. They were like a 99/100 and now they’re like a 24/100.

I remember Reeves doing one 2-3 years ago and you could tell he was typing or at least dictating, instead of having a PR team answer.

Like when people would ask what his favorite sandwich/day-off/music was, he’d get contemplative and say “On this day, I would have to say tuna salad on rye with a pickle, that’s definitely something on my list for the near future” because he didn’t want to get stuck to one answer. It was very down to earth. He didn’t just say “tuna salad.”

Edit: here’s his 2014 interview during the John Wick tour. I wasn’t exaggerating when he really puts thought into his answers and says, “today, I will go with...”. He did an AMA in 2013 and 2014, and the fact that JW2 came out without an AMA from him is a microcosm of what has happened to AMAs

Also, I miss Victoria. She is 100% the reason why AMAs were so much better back then, both in quality of guests and quality of answers or the eagerness of guests to finally get asked some fun random questions.

She’s also a huge reason why Reddit became popular. Lots of non-redditors would see celebrities promoting their AMAs via Twitter and it drove traffic (many idiots called them shills because they signed up the same day, but in reality they were non-redditors but huge fans who wanted to ask a question, and registering was the only way to do it.

Victoria is responsible for probably millions of redditors who would have never visited the site otherwise. People on Twitter back then had no idea what Reddit was. They just saw it as an avenue to ask their fave celeb some questions....then stuck around for the Reddit stuff.

She was smart. She was proactive in seeing what important projects (not just entertainment, though it was the most popular and easiest one to procure since she would look up upcoming films and contact their manager to do an AMA, but congressional Bills, big cases resolving, astronauts landing — like Col. Chris Hadfield, whom she secured as a guest, etc).

Now, no offense to that 30 y/o dude who had heart surgery, but that’s the AMA of the day quality now. A hospital patient. Or grandchildren doing AMAs for their 100-year old grandmothers who were alive during WWII.

[–]EtTuTortilla 26 points27 points  (14 children)

/r/nosleepinterviews has been doing a killer job with indie author AMAs lately. But the authors are super indie, ultra niche. If they start expanding to more well-known people it could be a good place for you to check out.

[–]midnghtsnack 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yep, he's the opposite of what people expect out of someone whose had multiple successful movies and social successes.

Also, similar to Bill Murray who is also active in his home environment but not very active in the Hollywood scene.

[–]Mile129 2895 points2896 points  (88 children)

Why is Keanu everywhere lately and why haven't I run into him!

[–]aaronxxx 575 points576 points  (10 children)

Facebook listens to your thoughts so the more you think about Keanu the more you see Keanu.

[–]BigSchwartzzz 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Or the more Keanu thinks about reddit... oh fuck.

[–]basedomgg 66 points67 points  (1 child)

Keanu is the equivalent of the new car you just bought that no one had but then there is 6 on your street.

[–]pollo_lover27 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Can’t run into him when you don’t leave your house

[–]kwadd 5666 points5667 points  (133 children)

I keep seeing keanu offering his seat to a lady on the subway, keanu riding his bike saying hi to a dude at a stoplight, or signing autographs at some everyday places. He really does seem like a nice guy.

Until he transforms into baba yaga and starts kicking ass. Guy's a genuine, bonafide, 100% badass.

[–]Etharos 1692 points1693 points  (46 children)

He is not the baba yaga, he is the man you send to kill the baba yaga.

[–]IconOfSim 670 points671 points  (23 children)

To kill the ffuckhing babayaga

[–]BrokeBellHop 455 points456 points  (19 children)

With a fucking pencil

[–]quantum_entanglement 455 points456 points  (13 children)

PYENSEAL

[–]bearjew293 36 points37 points  (2 children)

IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS LAST... PYEENSEYEAL

[–]Wutchutalkinboutwill 63 points64 points  (4 children)

He's not the man you send to kill the baba yaga, he's the man you send to kill the man you send to kill the baba yaga.

[–]BurnedRope 86 points87 points  (9 children)

Baba Yaga checks under his bed at night for Keanu Reeves.

[–]Rosssauced 42 points43 points  (1 child)

I check under my bed for Keanu as well but of me it’s just wishful thinking rather than existential dread.

[–]cohonan 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Her, the Baba Yaga is a female witch of East European lore.

[–]BurnedRope 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Oh shit, I just assumed the gender of a mythical terror being :(

[–]chompythebeast 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Legend has it Baba Yaga's house grew chicken feet just so it could forever flee Keanu Reeves

[–]HentaiTentacleDemon 191 points192 points  (3 children)

[–]BigDildo 50 points51 points  (2 children)

There's nothing this man won't do for humanity.

[–]friendweiser 289 points290 points  (61 children)

Am I still allowed to love Bill Murray?

[–]twinturbo11 101 points102 points  (5 children)

No . But you can love Terry Crews as your other option

[–]_Stix_ 98 points99 points  (1 child)

you can love Terry Crews as your other option

but only if its consensual

[–]cmdertx 194 points195 points  (46 children)

Wait, when were we not supposed to love Bill Murray?

[–]friendweiser 175 points176 points  (15 children)

I haven't noticed him come up in a while and Reddit lately has just been like "Hi u/friendweiser this is your new dad Keanu"

[–]middleupperdog 176 points177 points  (6 children)

You're still allowed to love Bill Murray, we just go to Keanu's parents for thanksgiving and christmas now.

[–]RexArcana 77 points78 points  (2 children)

Bill's just sleeping at his own apartment for a little while we get things figured out. Don't worry, you'll still see him on weekends. Hey, maybe he'll take you to a baseball game. Would you like that, slugger?

[–]Nerfwarriors 41 points42 points  (1 child)

sniff Bill used to call me slugger.

[–]DenikaMae 25 points26 points  (0 children)

"...And no one will ever believe you."

[–]drmrsanta 20 points21 points  (1 child)

Keanu is your dad, Bill Murray is your grandpa.

[–]jalerre 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Bill Murray sometimes goes to football games for the high school my parents went to. It's really odd because they used to live in the middle of nowhere in rural South Carolina. He just randomly shows up in my parents Facebook feeds from friends they knew when they were younger.

[–]johndavid101 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Did you hear Bill Murray walked up to a guy eating at McDonalds? Bill grabbed one of his fries. Ate the fry while staring at the guy. Then said “no one will believe you.” Absolute genius.

[–]Marmar79 1704 points1705 points  (59 children)

I love that someone pulled the ‘we are going to take a pic just kidding I’m videoing you’ maneuver on Keanu Reeves.

[–]Rule1ofReddit 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Classic.

[–]money_loo 37 points38 points  (24 children)

Kinda looks like how Apple phones take pictures. They basically record a mini gif and call it moments or something.

[–]best_of_badgers 34 points35 points  (4 children)

“Live Photos”

You can also scroll through the 3 seconds of video and choose a better still frame, if someone blinked.

[–]money_loo 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Yes that’s it. I personally like it a lot, was looking at pics of my daughter’s birthday and when I discovered that 3-D touching makes them come to life I thought that was really neat.

[–]amiuhle 12 points13 points  (9 children)

Google Pixel 2 does this, too.

[–]NoJelloNoPotluck 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Cause we love reliving memories in twitchy, 3 second bursts

[–]wil_i_am_scared_of_u 440 points441 points  (5 children)

Wait. So I’m not supposed to make that face when I’m hugged?

[–]kerred 733 points734 points  (37 children)

Thats the look of being the first dad to pick up your kid at daycare and the other children swarm you.

[–]adamhasabeard 137 points138 points  (15 children)

Such a good description. I have to literally give high fives to every kid at the daycare when I’m the first to pick up my girls in the afternoons. They swarm me.

[–]AnotherKindaCult 61 points62 points  (12 children)

I loved that feeling. I volunteer when I can at the schools. We'd play little pranks on the teachers. (Guten prank)

What irritated me was the the female staff, constantly telling me something yucky about a kid I made sure to include or engage.

"She's slutty", "He's going straight to jail", "Full of germs", "Stinky", "He's useless, just put him on a broken computer." etc.

Bitch, they're in 3rd grade and they all want a chance to be doted on. The male staff usually operated on that notion but lots of the female staff was just angry.

I coordinated a recess flash mob that was nothing but a lovefest for one mean teacher. I was telling the kids it'll "cheer her up and reset her mood" and she responded by calling them idiots and had me written up for subverting authority.

I get that teaching is hard and sometimes you just need to get through a week. But the kids are the one fringe benefit left in teaching. Why would you neglect that?

[–]mr_wholesome 29 points30 points  (5 children)

you're a real piece of shit if you call a third grader a slut (not you op i mean in general)

[–]lacheur42 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There are so many fucking things wrong with that.

[–]I_RARELY_RAPE_PEOPLE 12 points13 points  (0 children)

What the hell dude, lump of love and happiness purely for her and she calls kids idiots and write you up?

Calling young kids jailbirds and sluts???

[–]AwkwardNoah 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Damn, had a high school/middle school teacher of mine tell me that you aren't a teach if you don't enjoy the kids

[–]Errandian 171 points172 points  (17 children)

Upvote for you, bro! You get it! "Look little kid, you are awesome but I don't know the rules about other little kids hugging me. Please go away."

[–]Name_Checker_Outer 74 points75 points  (6 children)

The other day I was waiting for my five year old to finish in the bathroom at a restaurant. A little girl, probably 5 herself wasn’t strong enough to open the Womens bathroom door to exit. I didn’t want to look like a creeper and help this little girl who is in the bathroom so I walked away. Just a weird experience.

[–]Ensvey 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Some say she's still trapped in that bathroom to this day

[–]feedmeacid 19 points20 points  (4 children)

It's sad that we live in a society where a simple friendly gesture could result in you being viewed as a creep. You probably made the right choice by walking away...never know when someone might get offended or start yelling accusations.

[–]mattmcmhn 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is so true, I want to look at the teacher and just be like "can I hug this kid too or is that not allowed".

[–]nept_r 27 points28 points  (7 children)

I work in education and as a guy it puts most k-1 kids crotch height when they hug. Generally we try to turn those hugs into high fives, knuckles, etc. If it's something really big then you gotta at least turn to the side as they hug you and do the one tap to acknowledge the hug but keep it clear that the kid is initiating and maintaining the hug haha. It's kind of sad when you think about it but it also makes sense.

[–]Jacksdaddy 10 points11 points  (5 children)

Kind of sad is a huge understatement. The fact that someone would construe a hug by a kid to a parent of another child to be anything other than innocent is terrifying to me.

I have two sons. Both are on the autism spectrum. My oldest is 8 and he is non verbal and loves hugs.

When he was diagnosed, I did a ton of reading and kept seeing that many kids on the spectrum do not like to be touched or held. I didn't want my son to hate hugs so I encouraged them and always made a big deal about how much I loved his hugs.

Now that he's a tiny bit older, I'm worried that he'll hug someone who doesn't want one and cause a situation that he is completely unable to understand.

As someone who works in education, how do you generally deal with situations that occur without escalating them.

[–]nemo1080 324 points325 points  (17 children)

When you meet a guy who is excellent to everyone

[–]Regulusx1337 88 points89 points  (14 children)

Was his name Ted? I understand he was on quite an adventure a few decades back with a buddy of his.

[–]Bl4nkface 76 points77 points  (2 children)

He's so hot right now.

[–]AdolfJongUn 1213 points1214 points  (49 children)

That face says: please don’t sue meeee

[–]flickerdown 416 points417 points  (31 children)

KR is trying to avoid a #metoo moment

[–]jfq722 155 points156 points  (19 children)

And i think he did, very well.

[–]Rule1ofReddit 156 points157 points  (18 children)

Yea, where's that pic of him with his arms around the two girls but he's not actually touching them? So perfect.

[–]Mizzet 162 points163 points  (17 children)

[–]McFagle 105 points106 points  (6 children)

I feel like the position of his hands is less classic hoverhand and more "Look! Look upon my bitches!"

[–]HerrStraub 71 points72 points  (1 child)

The difference between hooverhand if you're cool and if you're not.

[–]MonkeyJibbers420 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I don't know,it kind of seems like they might have agreed to the pose in advance

[–]paulvarjak0 142 points143 points  (13 children)

That a shooter's belt he's wearing?

[–]blainestang 88 points89 points  (0 children)

She's got a Taran Tactical Innovations shirt on. That's where all the videos of him practicing shooting are from.

[–]Kytoaster 82 points83 points  (0 children)

He's a pretty avid shooter, I wouldn't doubt it.

[–]hungryColumbite 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Yes. This is taran tactical where he trained for the John Wick movie

[–]AFuddyDuddy 48 points49 points  (5 children)

Think this was training.

That was his trainer.

Or, it was a match, and that was a sponsered shooter.

But I think that's his trainer.

[–]WesleySnipesOfficial 32 points33 points  (1 child)

She’s also a comp shooter. Not his trainer, just a fellow competitor/fan

[–]zero_foxgiven 333 points334 points  (5 children)

Keanu has a triple black belt in avoiding sexual harassment claims.

[–]corrieoh 239 points240 points  (12 children)

Wow that's how I hug girls .... does this mean I'm as cool as Keanu

[–]usernameczecksout 128 points129 points  (8 children)

You need to take a page from his book and do hover hands. He does not look like he is giving consent.

[–]Exodus111 44 points45 points  (1 child)

Is.... Is Keanu Reeves just driving around on his bike talking to people?

[–]amoeba3 35 points36 points  (8 children)

Is he actually afraid of some recompense is he’s too close to female fans, or just shy with unexpected fan photos, where other celebs would probably make themselves scarce, but he just does it out basic decency? I think it’s the second.

Between the awful number of close people in his life that have died unexpectedly, and his acts like giving millions of dollars of his Matrix sequel crewmembers because he didn’t feel comfortable earning so much more them, I honestly think he’s one of the few that march to their own drum.

[–]zugzwang_03 47 points48 points  (1 child)

Is he actually afraid of some recompense is he’s too close to female fans, or just shy with unexpected fan photos, where other celebs would probably make themselves scarce, but he just does it out basic decency? I think it’s the second.

He has a reputation for avoiding the spotlight but is very kind to genuine fans, so it's the second.

Also, he has normal photos with female fans! I think he's just being silly and taking a funny picture. It's a very 'him' thing to do. Though I do wonder if he just doesn't really like hugs...

[–]amoeba3 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Total agreement! I did say, after all,

I think it’s the second.

[–]imnoteminem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Coming right up Keanu Reeves with his one pet peeve

[–]trainjeff24 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Reeves dodging sexual assault like the Matrix.

[–]StevenSanders90210 69 points70 points  (13 children)

Someone on the last Keanu thread mentioned these are all ads for his motorcycle company and now I can’t unsee it.

Edit: proofread and found errors

[–]20Factorial 21 points22 points  (1 child)

He does own a motorcycle company, but he’s also a HUGE motorcycle guy, apparently. The photo of him at a stoplight, he’s on a Norton. He does not own Norton.

[–]SQUID_FUCKER 20 points21 points  (6 children)

Ok, that actually makes sense. He's always wearing that shirt, or riding a bike and others are saying it's for John Wick 3 and I don't buy that.

[–]Fuck_Alice 23 points24 points  (5 children)

They need to fire their marketing guy because I can't even read what the company is.

[–]Esterthemolester 13 points14 points  (7 children)

This dude is everywhere on Reddit damn. If I was him I would take a shit on the table.

[–]XGreedexx 45 points46 points  (4 children)

Nah looks like he's just trying his best not to be #metoo'd

[–]SeymourZ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What a class act. Friggin' love that guy.