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Greg's acting career never took off despite his groundbreaking performance as 'Large Fat Man'.

189 comments
95% Upvoted
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level 1
1.3k points · 1 month ago

"All right, Greg, now walk up to the bucket...look at it like you're confused...what's this bucket doing here? Why is it just sitting around in the yard with a seat on top of it? Now try to read what's written on the seat...great, great, now just step up and sit on it. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, isn't that comfy? Now give me a pensive look, and then a slight turn to the right...Fantastic. Cut! We got it!"

level 2
Original Poster530 points · 1 month ago

Is this.. is this my bucket? Greg's quest for the perfect seat to support his large frame was over.

level 3
139 points · 1 month ago

"And then what are you going to do?"

"Watch the sun rise on a grateful universe."

level 4
20 points · 1 month ago
level 5
level 6
10 points · 1 month ago

perfectly balanced

level 7
10 points · 1 month ago

as all things should be

level 3

And you may ask yourself, "Am I right? Am I wrong?"

And you may say to yourself, "My God! What have I done?"

level 4

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down Letting the days go by, water flowing underground Into the blue again after the money's gone Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground

level 5

Same as it ever was.

level 6

Same as it ever was.

level 7

Same as it ever was

level 4

Water flowing under gruh

level 3
11 points · 1 month ago

The Enigma of Greg's Backyard.

level 4

This is my bucket seat... It was made for me!!

level 2

They told him to sit down and hes like whatever. Turns and raises his hands like "ok well what". Finds out later that they labeled him 300lbs.

Sounds so horrible but please tell me that's the story

level 3

Depends how tall he is. I could easily see him weighing 3 hundo if he is 6'4

level 4

Yeah if that's a 5 gallon bucket this guy is pretty tall.

level 2

Maybe on take 2 we try to have you look over your shoulder like "What the hell is goin' on back there?" as soon as you sit down.

level 2

The ad-libbed quick pants hike up really shows off his 3 years of study at the Groundlings.

level 2

"Cautious and unsure at first, that's perfect Greg."

level 1
172 points · 1 month ago

What if: turn bucket upside down

level 2
27 points · 1 month ago

Yeah but the ground is icky

level 3
28 points · 1 month ago

So is using a bucket instead of a regular chair

level 4
5 points · 1 month ago

It's icky all the way down

level 5
3 points · 1 month ago

Just don't sit outside then smh

level 5

The one with the ick factor

level 4

Turn the chair over to be 4 times ickier.

level 2

Then you can't store things in the bucket.

level 3
24 points · 1 month ago

No one uses a sitting bucket for storage numb nuts

level 4
16 points · 1 month ago

No joke growing up I always thought it was for sitting. Took to long into teens to have someone ask me to fill it with water did I just and think, well no shit, that's quite handy its a seat that you can haul water in. We owned dozens of them but never used 1 around me.

level 5
2 points · 1 month ago

No joke growing up I always thought it was for sitting. Took to long into teens to have someone ask me to fill it with water did I just and think, well no shit, that's quite handy its a seat that you can haul water in.

It takes a brave person to admit this.

level 4

He's just explaining the premise of the product, don't shoot the messenger.

level 5

You seen the messenger I skyrim? I'd shoot him

level 2

A lot of buckets have a ridge around the outside that's uncomfortable to sit on. In theory you could also access the bucket/keep it full while sitting on it. Wouldn't mind having this around the garage or a shed for an improvised slightly more comfy seat.

level 3

So throw a towel over it.

level 3
1 point · 1 month ago

A couple of pieces of plywood cut into circles, one slightly smaller than the top of the bucket, the other larger, plus some canvas cloth or old denim, and some foam rubber and a staple gun and a few nails. Maybe some paint. Seriously - you could make a much better seat for a bucket than this overpriced piece of plastic.

level 4

Probably. But if I saw this for $20 at the hardware store I'd probably pick it up. I have no idea what it actually costs, was just saying it does serve a purpose.

level 2
5 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

Edit: Can't find any evidence to support what I say I was taught, below. So go ahead and sit on a bucket however you want, I guess.

I can't find a source right now, but I was taught to never sit on an upside down bucket. If you put too much weight on the center of the base, it can break. (They're designed to hold a lot of weight, but only when it's evenly distributed). If the base breaks while you're sitting on it, your ass is now suddenly plummeting through a jagged plastic tube.

If you sit on the rim of the bucket, your weight is much more evenly distributed around the cylinder. And if it were to somehow still break, you're going to be falling away from the bucket, not into it.

level 3

Someone’s never eaten lunch on a construction site

level 3
7 points · 1 month ago

I've stood on industrial 5 gallon buckets plenty.

level 4

Apparently you don't weigh 400lbs like OP.

level 5

You dropped this: 0

level 5
3 points · 1 month ago

You're right I weigh 280. Just saying

level 3

yea but who sits with all their weight on one spot? If your're sitting, your butt and glutes are gonna occupy the entire space of the bucket, your ass isn't a needle

level 4
5 points · 1 month ago

Mine is

level 2

Yeah, but then you can't put garbage in it as you work.

level 3
2 points · 1 month ago

You're not working if you're sitting down

level 4

I've spliced a lot of cable sitting down, and it's not something I'd do for free.

level 5
2 points · 1 month ago

You're not using a bucket splicing cable

level 6

Not currently, no. I'm drunk in bed surfing reddit. But when I splice cable, I put my garbage in the bucket I'm sitting on.

level 7
2 points · 1 month ago

Garbage can, plastic bag, cup, other buckey

level 1
240 points · 1 month ago

So...my question is do buckets hold 300lb in the first place?

level 2

On the edges, with the weight applied evenly. Sure. They ship those buckets full, stacked up on pallets. The bottom bucket is supporting the ones on top. They fail when they get loaded unevenly or when the plastic degrades.

Some amateur science: http://fivegallonideas.com/cinder-block/

level 3
135 points · 1 month ago

this guy buckets

level 4

There once was a man in nanbucket

level 5

Wist a dick so long he could bucket

level 4

I am so disappointed I didn't get to say this.

level 5

I mean, you can still say it, it'll just not be the same.

level 6

This guy reposts

level 3

Oh look out we’ve got the sacred bucket scientist in the house.

level 4

That's Doctor Bucket Science to you sir. I spent 8 minutes in internet bucket school not bucket seminary.

level 5

Oh damn I’m sorry doctor. I didn’t realize how high you were held. Please accept my apology.

level 3

Interesting stuff on that home site for a gardener like myself!

level 3

Pretty cool

level 3

This guy bucks.

level 3

I’d argue that while you’re likely right that evenly distributed it could hold the weight, you’re wrong about when they’re palletized. When they’re stacked, the lids concave thusly pulling the rim of the lid inward, whereas this device is pushing the rim evenly outward as weight is applied. Now I’m genuinely curious how much weight one of these buckets could withstand with both an inward and outward maximum weight applied. Someone call Bill Nye, this seems like some science for him.

level 4

I highly doubt they're stacked with the lids on. Probably, a bunch nested together, and the lids come with in a separate box.

Hell, you have to go to a different aisle to find the lids to those buckets at Home Depot.

level 5

I'm 99.999% sure he means products that are shipped in buckets are stacked on pallets. So like, if you buy a bucket of something really heavy, say 50 pounds, and it's stacked 5 high on a pallet, The bottom bucket is supporting 200 pounds.

level 5

I have a feeling he meant if they are filled with things or supporting something on top.

level 2

...Now that's the question we need answers to. Great question..

level 2

Yeah, you can just flip the bucket upside down and sit on it.

level 3

Yeah, you can just flip the bucket upside down and sit on it.

Not if it's full of precious urine

level 3

They also make lids that have a cushioned top for sitting

level 2

Just don't leave them in the sun

level 2

Easily

level 2

When turned upside down yes

Source: I’m 260 close enough

level 1
596 points · 1 month ago

This is literally now on my bucket list to buy.

level 2

Once you buy it, you can just say "This is literally now on my bucket"!

level 3

Flexseal vs this bucket, let's go

level 4

I flex sealed these buckets together to build this barge!

Then I sawed it in half!

level 4

Be still my beating heart

level 2
47 points · 1 month ago

'bucket' list lol

level 3

Yeah, that’s why he said literally.

level 2

Just don't kick it

level 2
-7 points · 1 month ago(1 child)
level 3

No no, it's "s'asseoir."

level 1
164 points · 1 month ago

He did however, land a role as "Coach" in Left 4 dead 2

level 2
29 points · 1 month ago

Football!

level 4

He said he wants some good ol' fashion cola!

level 2

"...maybe the helicopter...maybe it's made of chocolate..."

level 2

"wait my ass"

Kill all sons of bitches

level 3

They're not comming back. :(

level 4

Hey, AppleDane, just a quick heads-up:
comming is actually spelled coming. You can remember it by one m.
Have a nice day!

The parent commenter can reply with 'delete' to delete this comment.

level 5

coming

I've written English for about 38 of my 48 year old life, and this I never realised.

Thank you!

level 6

I'm comming

level 7

Hey, BalBiscera, just a quick heads-up:
comming is actually spelled coming. You can remember it by one m.
Have a nice day!

The parent commenter can reply with 'delete' to delete this comment.

level 8

Lol

level 2

Cheeseburger apocalypse

level 2

My friends call me coach. Pills here. RELOADING!!!

level 1

I love how he hesitates for a moment.. "this thing is not gonna work"

level 1
Original Poster66 points · 1 month ago
level 2
109 points · 1 month ago

Its the perfect product. Sitting on a bucket sucks. Everyone owns multiple buckets. With the amount of buckets I own, I'm actually thinking of getting rid of all my chairs now that I know this product exists.

level 3

All you need is some back support!

Step 1: Get a step ladder

Step 2: Tape ladder to five gallon bucket with Bucket Stool

Step 3: Now you have a bucket stool with back support and acts as a step ladder!

Step 4: ????

Step 5: Profit from all the money you aren't spending on chairs

level 4

Sounds about as useful as this product.

level 5

And just as 'comfortable'.

level 4

That'd require some mighty tough tape. Perhaps something that rhymes with "Sex Grape".

level 2
54 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

I have to turn the bucket over to sit!

Linda there are stairs right next to you

level 3
Original Poster26 points · 1 month ago

Her prized pine-cones were DAMAGED!

level 3

That was hilarious

level 3

Linda, you stupid bitch

level 2

The word 'bucket' is said 18 times in that commercial.

Kind of impressive for 81 seconds. That's 1 'bucket' per 4.5 seconds.

level 3
Original Poster15 points · 1 month ago

How does it compare to the ad for Mr. Bucket?

level 4

16 times in 29 seconds

1 'bucket' every 1.81 seconds.

level 5
Original Poster7 points · 1 month ago

I genuinely appreciate your research.. made my day.

level 6

Buckets of fun.

level 3

I watched the video because of this comment. Well done

level 2

I'm shocked there wasn't a fisheye lense zoom with a "bwoooooooow!" sound effect.

Also I'm surprised at how stupid this product is.

level 2

More comfortable height? Really?! Because that lady's legs are hanging off at an angle, which is a great way to pinch off the blood flow and nerves. And, of course, it depends on your height how comfortable it's going to be! Why didn't they use a tall actor or actress instead? Do they charge by the inch or something?!

level 3

I like how the chair she was sitting in to compare is about the same height as the original bucket.

level 2

I fucking lost it when that lady dumped out her pine cones so she could sit on the bucket.

level 2

Well that’s incredibly niche

level 3

Not really I hate when my pinecones fall out of my bucket when I want to sit on it even though there are literally stairs 1 foot to my right

level 2

Bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket pinecones bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket bucket

level 1

You know what also works? The lid of the bucket.

level 2

Woah there... bucket... lids?

Does marketing know these lid things exist??

level 1

The slight turn at the end has me dead

level 2

I absentmindedly watched this for 2 minutes thinking it was a compilation of out-takes. It was the slight turn that finally made me realise I need to be doing more with my life.

level 2

"Show them it swivels!"

"oh yeah."

level 1

Groundbreaking

I see what you did there, OP.

level 1

There once was a product sold in Nantucket.

That solved the problem of sitting on a bucket.

But as most have you said,

This shit is so dumb I would rather be dead.

So regarding this stool I say Fuck it.

level 2

There was an attempt

level 2
5 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

There once was a man with a bucket

Who wanted to sit, thought he'd luck it.

Instead he fell in and with much chagrin

He tried but he couldn't unstuck it.

level 2

Leave it to sprog buddy

level 3

Don't discourage art. Art is a worthwhile hobby for many, and we don't get better unless we practice.

level 4

Shit that's a good point... Sorry u/marchin_on

level 1
level 1

Coach?

level 1

This is what I do, I sit on you, sit on you, sit on you.

level 1

"So you'll seriously pay me 100 bucks to sit on this stool and there is no catch?"

level 1

If I fits, I sits

level 1

I’m 335 lbs and I sit on this bucket everyday. Watching my other buckets.

level 1

Did the bucket seat ever win anything for supporting actor?

level 1

Cut a hole in that and you've got yourself a terlet

level 1
2 points · 1 month ago

Actually, it is incredibly black obese man.

level 1

Is this for pooping?

level 1

I love how he sits down and immediately is like “oh, heard something behind me.”

level 1
level 1
2 points · 1 month ago

Well, he played the character very convincingly, I'm impressed

level 1

Look at that ass confidence. That man is not scared to sit.

level 1
2 points · 1 month ago

Cmon, the guys at the most 250, that’s just mean

level 1

When you check for pee on the seat before using it

level 1

What the hell? It’s advertising a bucket seat? When an overturned bucket basically is a seat?

level 1

Smith made so little money as a janitor and had to improvise seating options

level 1

Next stop...Pornhub

level 1

The more I look at him, the less human he looks.

level 1

Or he could've just flipped the bucket upside down.

level 1

Ok Greg, now remove the padded seat to reveal the hole, drop trou, and take a massive dump in the bucket. Excellent!

level 1

"This isn't what I meant by bucket seats!"

level 1

His “can I sit on it?” inspection is identical to an animal’s “can I eat it?” inspection (minus the sniffing).

level 1

No wonder it didn't take off! Just look at what he's doing! This sitting method is strictly forbidden in the film industry!

level 1

He just has to find someone to costar as Little Boy

level 1

Greg's sold it to me. Put me down for two dozen.

level 1

I thought they looked pretty decent, so I looked them up. $30 for one or $40 for a pair. No thanks.

level 1

I've been gaining weight for a role in an upcoming film.

I don't have the role yet but they always need a fat guy

level 1

Am I the only one that thinks this guy definitely weighs more than 300? Or am I just an asshole...?

level 1

Buckets too tall now

level 1

What a shitty product lmao

level 1

Sounds like he needs bigger pants.

level 1

Killer Mike, is that you?

level 1
1 point · 1 month ago

*bucket-breaking-resistant performance

level 1

"Greg has lived his life standing up. He has never found the perfect item to sit on. He has tried everything from bar stools to lazy boys. One day, a magical bucket and seat thing appears in his yard. Greg ponders this device before giving it a try. Greg sits on it and finally finds happiness. Greg never gets up again and dies 4 days later from dehydration."

level 1

The Daniel Day Lewis of bucket sitters. Bravissimo!!

level 1

I have a feeling they didn’t tell him the context of that shot

level 1

Or, you could just FLIP THE FUCKING BUCKET OVER AND SIT!!

America. Buy stuff.

level 2

They clearly address that concern 52 seconds into the video!

level 3

Sold me on it.

level 3

Well shit, now I want one

level 3

I hadn't watched the infomercial until just now. I wish oil was in the bucket.

level 1

Why does he raise his pants before sitting?

level 2

To provide slack(s) in the necessareas.

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