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[–]Sbradley1988 499 points500 points  (22 children)

Ha. She tried to pull a 'Trump'

[–]Bad-Bone-Being 112 points113 points  (16 children)

She a fast learner

[–]golfing_furry 106 points107 points  (15 children)

Shame her charisma level = dead fish

[–]snapper1971 77 points78 points  (13 children)

That's not fair to dead fish. They are a source of nutrition for many living things. May is a self-ingratiating tory - of value to no-one but herself and other self-ingratiating tories.

[–]lil_mikey1 17 points18 points  (1 child)

Well that's not true, she was of value to the DUP

[–]sirnoggin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They aint paid yet.

[–]argv_minus_one 0 points1 point  (1 child)

She could also provide nutrition, should she be eaten.

[–]SlitScan 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you'd burn more calories vomitting than you'd gain

[–]THE_MAGIC_OF_REALITY 0 points1 point  (8 children)

Her charisma level = Trump

[–]TheHolyLordGod 7 points8 points  (7 children)

Nah. That’s one of trumps greatest assets.

[–]THE_MAGIC_OF_REALITY 11 points12 points  (4 children)

“Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”

Charisma through the roof folks.

[–]WalkTheEdge 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think it's somewhat admirable how every Trump speech is able to contain so many words that convey no information.

[–]Algapontiana 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Its scary how accurate this is

[–]Tytos17 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is an actual quote, he has said this.

[–]varro-reatinus 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Along with his hair?

[–]DankKnite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

and his hands

[–]vhite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SUCH a fast learner.

[–]wearer_of_boxers 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Is that a newspeak word for "lie"?

[–]DuckOnAMopedII 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She did pull one, she lied and it backfired, classic Trump

[–]UnsupervisedNow 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Theresa May and Donald Trump: Separated at birth.

[–]TheNerdWithNoName 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Donald is prettier, though.

[–]ICanBeAnyone 4 points5 points  (0 children)

More of a coin toss. They're both meh for a man and yuck for a woman.

[–]RJLBHT 150 points151 points  (6 children)

The lady in charge tried to take credit for the credit card charge waiver but was discredited and proceeded to run through some fields to waive off the charge that she is a loon.

[–]kaihatsusha 56 points57 points  (5 children)

May claims sway in affray over pay-delay defray, they say.

[–]reap7 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Who wrote this copy? Randy, I'm looking at you

[–]o3yossarian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ok Princess Caroline.

[–]AlicijaBelle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m Leslie Knope and I approve this comment.

[–]Berrybeak 133 points134 points  (19 children)

Oh Theresa. Stop trying to be like Donnie it really doesn’t suit you.

[–]rockforahead 66 points67 points  (17 children)

It does suit her, she knows Brexit is a bad idea but she just bullshits. Constantly. She's Trumpian

[–]verenelle 28 points29 points  (16 children)

Except she couldn't get away with the kind of shit he pulls on a daily basis.

[–]rockforahead 32 points33 points  (14 children)

No, she's Trump lite and if she ever tried to go full Trump, the people would march on London. The closest we have to Trump is Boris Johnson, why are they always blonde?

[–]varro-reatinus 22 points23 points  (9 children)

Blonde, fat, and publicly bumbling.

The difference is that BoJo isn't an idiot; he just plays one on TV, which is actually worse.

I honestly believe Trump is dumb enough to believe the side of a bus about Brexit; BoJo put it there, and defended it, knowing it was bullshit.

[–]Caltharian 8 points9 points  (1 child)

And don't forget he could also run for POTUS if he felt like it as he was born in America and still has US citizenship, so beware yanks we may just export him to you....

[–]WalkTheEdge 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He would need to live in the US for fourteen years first... It would however be an amazing historical feat if he was elected POTUS, even more so if he managed to become PM in the UK first.

[–]ollie87 11 points12 points  (1 child)

Well yeah, remember pre-referendum he had supposedly written two articles, one pro-Brexit, one pro-remain?

He decided last minute to choose the Brexit route, he’s an opportunist and most be stopped.

[–]varro-reatinus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he’s an opportunist

Exactly.

[–]JimmyEightTimes 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The difference is that BoJo isn't an idiot

I keep hearing this but I've never been presented with evidence to confirm it.

[–]varro-reatinus 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Primary evidence: he won a King's Scholarship to Eton based on his mastery of classical languages, then a scholarship to Balliol to read Literae Humaniores, and only narrowly missed a first because he got overly involved in student societies.

Secondary evidence: the 'bumbling Old Etonian' act is exactly that: an act. Johnson is deliberately playing to a caricature with which the English are so familiar that it's effectively social camouflage. It allows them to place him comfortably in a pigeonhole marked 'Innocuous Eccentric', and ignore the harm he's actually doing.

[–]sheriffCartman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't know. So he has a talent for literature, I'm not sure that yet qualifies him as smart. Agree he seems to play up to a role, but other than that he still seems like an actual idiot to me.

[–]rockforahead 1 point2 points  (1 child)

He's also put his dad and his sister on reality TV this year. I'm sure he's up to his neck in all this Russia stuff and is trying to create a positive public image of his family before it all comes out. He's really dodgy

[–]varro-reatinus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

trying to create a positive public image of his family

This has been Johnson's entire life since the moment he arrived at Eton.

[–]BestGarbagePerson 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You mean like when she declares a pedophilia investigation must be stopped because of national security?

[–]snapper1971 5 points6 points  (2 children)

The people would not march on London. Apathy is rife in the UK.

[–]TheHolyLordGod 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I’d disagree, but I don’t really care either way.

[–]rockforahead 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not with these train fares!

[–]Aleucard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be perfectly honest, Trump doesn't get away with jack shit. If it weren't for basically everybody around him actively protecting him from any and all consequence of his actions, then he'd be nailed to the wall faster than you can blink. Even with the inexplicably adept job that his babysitters are performing (considering the level of weirdness required to not see anything wrong with this scenario), he's sinking fast. Even the Orangutan In Chief's most ardent supporters overseas should be able to see that he's a wannabe Nero fiddling on the bow of the Titanic. That is not a thing to emulate. Learn from, maybe.

[–]BestGarbagePerson 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People who take credit for others work in the workplace are also highly correlated to engage in other types of criminal/bad behavior such as embezzlement, fraud, sexual harassment and plagiarism.

https://blog.valerieaurora.org/2017/07/18/the-al-capone-theory-of-sexual-harassment/

So when Theresa May acts like and sounds like Trump, that's because she is like Trump.

[–]68020man 62 points63 points  (11 children)

Theyre also taking credit for the 5p bag charge. It was first introduced in Wales... by Labour. Its like the Tories havent realised the internet exists yet.

[–]D3mGpG0TyjXCSh4H6GNP 47 points48 points  (1 child)

They also took credit for gay marriage, despite most of their politicians voting against it

[–]Sean_P_McDermott 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah silly conservatives tried to take credit for legalizing cannabis, bunch of morons. They forgot the last 40 years of advocating for harsher drug sentences.

[–]MrSpindles 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Don't forget the manifesto pledge on capping utility prices, taken straight from the Labour 2015 manifesto,which they derided at the time as unworkable, but 2 years later presented as being their own policy.

[–]Cow_In_Space 11 points12 points  (3 children)

Its like the Tories havent realised the internet exists yet.

Their voter based is doddery old fogies who actually live in fear of modern technology, distrust any news source outwith the Murdoch empire, and hold the view that if only we kicked out "them foreigners" then we can reestablish the empire.

These are the idiots that bought into the whole bendy bananas bullshit even after the journalists that made it up (to show how stupid the British public are) admitted as much.

You could sit them down and show them documentary evidence and they would still deny it.

[–]Andolomar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're overthinking it. They don't fear modern technology, they have no use for it. They don't distrust non-Murdochian news, they don't receive an alternative. They don't know any foreigners except the guy that fixes their sink.

The common Tory is a rural working or middle class worker who lives in their village of less than a thousand people. Maybe one person in fifty villages is black, and they are likely in the Army so they're one of the good ones. The only paper distributed is either the Times or the Daily Mail. They have no need for things like fibre optic broadband or satellite television as they are perfectly content with ordinary telly or listening to the Archers on the wireless. They are either freeholders or leasehold with the local landowner who they know quite well because he has so few clients he can afford to take the time to get to know people. When they're at home they're not thinking "cor I bloody hate those Pakis", they're thinking about when they are going to go to the pub which is the centre of the community, or what they are going to sing in the choir, or when they are going to met Shila or Dorrick for tea. They see the same faces every day and they know everybody and everything that happens within their community. Their world is a safe and secure bubble and that's the way they like it thank you very much. They are completely sovereign from the outside world, except when BT comes through to dig up the roads, or townies come to walk their dogs and leave gates open.

The common Tory respects the law, the Forces, the Church, the farms, the pub, and the village hall. Outsiders like townies bring drugs and antisocial behaviour. Those immigrants are just about as strange as strangers can be, but those Polish are good hardworking chaps. Respect and tolerance is earned, not given. After all, when you invite a man into your home you expect him to abide by your rules. They don't know anything about Islam, and they have no inclination to care, because most of them will never meet a Muslim, so they have no need to learn.

The leading industries are farming, the Army, palliative care, hospitality, groundskeeping, landscaping, and the petrol station. They understand the value of hard work, of calloused hands from hard labour, of minds worn by working with the sick and the vulnerable, of duty and rigid organisation.

They will vote for one reason only: to protect their way of life. If their MP candidate says "I will protect the village bus services and landowner's rights" that MP will get their vote. If their MP candidate says "the Government wants to settle 500 refugees and increase land development in this constituency and I want to stop that" that MP will get their vote. If the MP candidate says "I will protect the tax free status on your first property" that MP will get their vote.

More people and development is always bad. The preservation of green spaces is always good. The shops and farms and pubs must remain independent. The food must be cheap. The village must be autonomous and be free to determine its own matters. Trouble may pass through from time to time but it never stays.

As a ruralite who grew up in one of the thousands of villages like I have just outlined, I can understand their way of looking at the world. Large crowds scare me. I live in a city now and I see a thousand faces every day and I never see the same face twice. I yearn for forests where the sky is hidden by thick knotted branches. I long for the hills where you can stand and stare for a dozen miles and see nothing but green. Where the sound of birdsong and the wind is louder than the cars, and the smell of pollen and mulch is thick in the air. I don't want diggers tearing up our meadows, builders laying the foundations of housing estates, I don't want my pub to be bought by J. D. Weatherspoon, I don't want the woods to be cut down, the farms to be purchased by corporations, I don't want my hobbies and my job and the jobs of my friends to be threatened by career politicians who call themselves reformists and do nothing but make it harder for decent people to do decent work.

The common Tory is a simple and honest traditional conservative that has found themselves stuck in a neo-liberal world with a globalist party that they no longer understand, but there is no alternative. There is no party that will turn things back to they way they were, there is no party that will protect their way of life, so they vote for what they are familiar with, and they continue their traditions, and they continue going to the pub, and they continue going nowhere.

Edit: formatting correction

[–]Deez_N0ots 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Don’t blame the old, blame the rich, they are who keep funding the Tories.

[–]Cow_In_Space 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And those rich folk rely on bigoted old people to vote for the party they fund because they know that they go out and unquestioningly vote blue.

It's why I think compulsory voting should be a thing as the 60+ crowd have a disproportionately powerful vote.

[–]ZmeiOtPirin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its like the Tories havent realised the internet exists yet.

Worse, they've discovered a sizable portion of the electorate doesn't care about facts. That won't end well.

[–]Froz1984 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What is this Internet thing you speak of, and where can I find it?

[–]spainguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dial AOL on your rotary phone, and speak slowly

[–]JeremiahBoogle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well they can take credit for introducing it to the rest of the UK. (Which the Labour Welsh government obviously can't do) I don't think they tried to take credit for the idea of a charge itself.

[–]thinkB4Uact 133 points134 points  (1 child)

In the case of conservatives, ignorance really is strength.

[–]Woodstovia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well in reality her party voted for it and went beyond the bill that was passed through EU Parliament

[–]asdjfweaiv 178 points179 points  (11 children)

Much like Trump, she's discovered that her constituency is dumb enough to buy anything she says, since they're incapable of thinking for themselves.

Maybe it is a good thing they're leaving. The EU can always clean up the mess after they collapse into irrelevancy.

[–]Kavster92 82 points83 points  (5 children)

And collapse into irrelavency we will. We will sob and break our balls to be let back into the EU. And they will revel in it.

[–]Davincino 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But without the tasty benefits you are currently enjoying, so even if you come back, you guys shot yourselves in the knee

[–]atomcrusher 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Constituency != the UK voters, just FYI.

[–]asdjfweaiv -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Ok, the majority of her constituency.

[–]atomcrusher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I mean that her constituency is Maidenhead, not the UK.

[–]veraxish101 74 points75 points  (3 children)

Of course Theresa Palpatine would, thankfully it's a disMay that she lied and as always get's caught out.

[–]0101111000101010 12 points13 points  (2 children)

Leave Sheev out of this, he's a much better political operator than May.

May's more like the trade federation Vice Roy from Episode 1

[–]Secuter 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I thought we agreed that his name is Frank?

[–]InsanityMuffin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trade federation Viceroy from episode 1 is called Frank?

[–]MultipleCrygasm 30 points31 points  (5 children)

Can't wait to vote the wicked witch out of office.

[–]IRELANDNO1 14 points15 points  (2 children)

She’s a joke, how the fuck does anybody still have any confidence in her?

[–]carlmango11 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't think many do.

[–]buffer_overfl0w 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nobody does, even her own party doesn't. Her own MPs won't listen to her...

David Davis a fucking lying cunt, if Boris Johnson was born in a lower class family he would legally be classed as handicapped. Jeremy Cunt recently laughed at May when she wanted him gone from being in charged of the NHS. He's literally driving the NHS into a brick wall killing people on the way.

If any political party has been the most regressive without turning into a dictatorship I would assume May and the rest of the cunts to be sat in the Guinness book of records.

[–]cookiebot1254 13 points14 points  (10 children)

What has to happen for a vote of no confidence to be called?

[–]Innane_ramblings 46 points47 points  (3 children)

No one wants to be the PM during brexit - it's political suicide. So they are quite happy to let unpopular May stay for the time being.

Plus, she had very little authority as demonstrated in the cabinet reshuffle. She's a useful puppet.

[–]SilencioJoeee 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Yeah exactly! Damned if you do and damned if you don't. She'll never make everyone in the Tory party happy let alone the country. Plus could you imagine post brexit with Boris Johnson or Jacob Rees-Mogg as pm...... now that'd be some full blown trump stuff right there.

[–]ollie87 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The Tories need to take the full blame for the failure of Brexit, since failure is inevitable. Hopefully it’ll stop them getting into power for another ten years.

[–]FarawayFairways 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What has to happen for a vote of no confidence to be called?

Nothing specifically, although its usually considered helpful if you find something in order to make it look better. No confidence motions that have been used in the past have tended to follow after a significant parliamentary defeat, but can be put forward as a motion at any time. John Major called one on himself in order to secure the passage of the Maastricht Treaty.

The answer really comes to down a judgement as to whether or not the opposition believe they can win. I don't believe the Speaker permits frivolous repeated motions

[–]Deez_N0ots 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Well if Corbyn is an example, you have to have actual decency and integrity to get a vote of no confidence called against you.

[–]WaytoomanyUIDs -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

The same Corbyn who has consistently voted against the EU, ran a remarkably weak remain campaign, refusing to campaign together with other parties, ran a 3 line whip for Article 50, fefused to take a stance against a hard Brexit and has quite been quite happy to accept the support of remain supporting youth voters?

[–]lampjambiscuit 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Have to agree, I've been very disappointed in Labour's Brexit stance. They should have been fighting for a soft Brexit deal. Then again he wants to appeal to right wing working class voters.

[–]MrSpindles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More than was the case before the 2010 election. The first action of the Tories in power was to change the law to make it harder to oust them, they later decided that wasn't enough and made it harder still.

Of course, all that was in the name of electoral stability, like the fixed term parliament act, which they gave up pretending to care about as soon as they thought they could get away with a quick grab of more seats. Funny how that worked out.

[–]Sayakai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They'll need to find someone else willing to take the job, yet able to credibly continue her brexit ambiguity. Anyone taking a sufficiently strong stance wouldn't have the party support necessary to achieve a majority.

[–]angrybluechair 7 points8 points  (0 children)

MAYBOT 2.0 MALFUNCTION: CODE NOT COMPATIBLE

[–]s1ssycuck 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But I thought that Brits didn't want Brussels making laws for them. They should make a law to double credit card charges just to show the EU who's boss!

[–]Azalith 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you look at her decisions, I think it’s clear she just isn’t very bright. She probably thought it was a Tory policy.

[–]ItsJustGizmo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's such a cunt.

[–]BestGarbagePerson 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Just in case anyone wasn't aware - bad people do bad things.

People who take credit for others work in the workplace are also highly correlated to engage in other types of criminal/bad behavior such as embezzlement, fraud, sexual harassment and plagiarism.

https://blog.valerieaurora.org/2017/07/18/the-al-capone-theory-of-sexual-harassment/

So when Theresa May acts like and sounds like Trump, that's because she is like Trump.

From what I've read, all the stuff about the May government....Brexit, the pedophilia cover ups, the Grenfell Tower etc...May is a bad bad apple and it's not hard for me to imagine she does really really bad shit we don't even know about.

Edit: Also hi, from the USA.

[–]tddp 3 points4 points  (7 children)

These laws are retarded anyway. Immediately business have responded by adding “admin fees” legally to all sales not just for cards.

So now we all pay credit card fees all the time.

[–]GenericOfficeMan 19 points20 points  (4 children)

Ever hear of competition? Those fees are no longer hidden and ill go to the places that dont charge admin fee

[–]orangefly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And I'm sure that the .001% of people like you that pay attention to it will make a huge difference. It will just become industry standard and this will be a net loss for consumers.

[–]Secuter 6 points7 points  (1 child)

I think it was more about hidden charges, which you wasn't told about.

[–]Charakada 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taking a page from Trump's playbook, is she?

[–]Victim_P -16 points-15 points  (5 children)

I guess I'm missing the part where she "suggested Tories are to thank" for this.

All I see is here saying is that the government is introducing the ban on charges, using the same language as when any new legislation is introduced.

[–]carlmango11 12 points13 points  (3 children)

There's a poster out that says "We're banning blah blah" with a big "Conservatives" logo. Technically not incorrect but in that context the average reader would get the impression it was Tory policy.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

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    [–]Bricksilver -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

    Man if Europe ain't getting creepier and creepier. Socialism and Godlessness turns people into souless ghouls.

    Ms. May must feel like someone lost and alone in a land full of rabid zombies. All the best to her. europeans! Yeeech!!!