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This is our cat Charlotte. She is not familiar with boundaries, and has exactly zero shame.

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Moderator of r/AnimalsBeingJerks, speaking officiallyScore hidden · 7 days ago · Stickied comment · edited 6 days ago

Locking this temporarily as we clean up all the horrible comments. Let's all be cool to each other.

Edit: 3PM, Sharp

Edit: Unlocked, sorry about that! If you see any comments that break the rules, please use the report button. We will be banning those who decide to be jerks.

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3.4k points · 7 days ago

"I am the only baby here!" - cat

"look I know you got this new kid but lets be honest...we all know the score here..."

"No, what's the score?"


29 points · 7 days ago

Im not the baby you wanted... I'm the baby you need. - baby batman

291 points · 7 days ago

“The only baby, I am” - Baby yoda

154 points · 7 days ago

“Mesa the only baby hair.” - Baby jar jar

182 points · 7 days ago

“Look at me... I’m the baby now” - Baby pirate

108 points · 7 days ago

"Hello there! This isn't the baby you're looking for." - Baby Kenobi

105 points · 7 days ago

I AM the baby! -Walter White

You merely adopted the baby. - Baby Bane

"I am Groot" - Baby groot

119 points · 7 days agoGilded1

I'm the baby now, motherfucker! - Baby L. Jackson

TIT MILK MOTHERFUCKER: DO YOU MAKE IT? -also probably baby Samuel L Jackson.

33 points · 7 days ago

I'm the baby, gotta love me - Baby Sinclair

25 points · 7 days ago

"She is the baby..." - Morpheus

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I am Spartacus. - Slave

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25 points · 7 days ago

“I gona eat that baby” - Baba Yaga

Fires gun - Baby Wick

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"It's about time you got me a decent soft, warm cushion as befitting my status"

~~ cat

"I am the only baby here!" - cat
baby cries
"I am the only baby here!" - cat

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I love how no one looks thrilled in this situation

290 points · 7 days ago

Human baby looks pretty chill. If that's what it takes to get a babe to sleep take it as a gift and learn to sleep sitting up.

14 points · 6 days ago

Looks like Ned from School of Rock lol

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/r/thisismylifenow for all three involved

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You look tired. You should have another baby.

The ‘two under two’ philosophy. You’re already so tired, how much more tired could you be? If the answer isn’t ‘twice as tired’ add another baby.

304 points · 7 days ago

I mean, legitimately if you're planning to have several, it's probably better that they be close to the same age.

My daughters are 2 months apart.

379 points · 7 days ago


Pump the fetus full of steroids, makes them grow faster.

143 points · 7 days ago

Not sure if you are being serious but this is actually true! We give mothers in premature labor two doses of Celestone (betamethasone) and it helps the fetus’ lungs develop more quickly and hugely improves outcomes after they make their premature arrival into the world!

Well that's cool.

Also was being silly and implying you could inject ALL THE STEROIDS to make a baby grow to completion in ~2 months, lol.

I am now going to start referring to full term babies as “grown to completion.”

Ready for harvest

My new baby was 10 day overdue. "Matured to excellence."

Got lazy, didn't look up the proper terminology. It's more fun that way.

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Can confirm, daughter came 11 weeks early, was on room air quickly because of strong-ified lungs.

Is now an engineer designing hospital renovations and additions.

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48 points · 7 days ago

I prefer the ol' bang two broads at the same time method.

What would you do if you had a million dollars?

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That’s why I demand my wife eat terra preta soil from the Amazon. It’s the most fertile soil in the world.

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66 points · 7 days ago · edited 6 days ago

With a different woman?

248 points · 7 days ago

Nah, fraternal twins. One was a premie and the mother had to be in labor for 2 months cause the other refused to come out. They tried a c section but the baby used her laser eyes to seal the wound closed before they could grab her. It was a difficult ordeal.

Holy crap

130 points · 7 days ago

It’s not even the same commenter.

60 points · 7 days ago

It seems pretty real, though.

50 points · 7 days ago · edited 7 days ago

Yes, laser eyes.

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Ahh, I was starting to think they adopted but this makes much more sense.

baby used her laser eyes

Makes much more sense!

Edit: words

Lol, this isn't even the same person.

I believed every word 🙃

The laser didn’t tip you off?

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Yes u/Blake_Thundercock, nice indeed.

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46 points · 7 days ago

all 3 of my siblings are at 11-18 years older... sucks man, my parents often feel like my grandparents cause it’s hard to communicate beyond superficial things

Do you get alone with your siblings though? My mom's brother was 11 years older than her and she adored him. They were best buds. Closer to her than my aunt who is only 2 years older.

My sister is 8 years younger than me, and my fiance has a similar gap with his younger sister. We both report not getting along with our little sisters growing up, but now that we've moved out we adore them and would do anything to keep them safe and happy, meanwhile our sisters idolize us (and love our cat. She's so floofy!). So, at least for he and I, having large age gaps sucks growing up, but once you're an adult it's like having a niece and it's kinda pretty chill.

I have two half brothers that are both 9 years older than me, and two half sisters that are both 12 years older than me (Brady family mechanic). They all love me and we get along, but I've never been close to them like they're close with each other. Case in point, I haven't seen any of them since our dad passed away and only one sister actually visited us to see her newborn neice. Everyone else is "busy", which has pretty much been the status quo between us my whole life. At this point I just accept it for what it is, but if I could go back in time I'd choose to be closer to their ages like they are with each other.

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I dunno, that’s less time between cell phones, cars, college tuition, etc. of course you don’t have to buy your kids phones, cars, or a degree but if that’s something you’d want to do, would you really be able to afford buying two cars within a couple years?

Maybe I’m just stuck in my never ending fear and anxiety that I’ll never be able to support myself fully so I don’t know how it’d even begin to work if I pooped out a couple kids

14 points · 7 days ago

Make 'em walk. Cars are for closers.

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Cell phones, well sure you got me. But a couple of mid-range Xiaomis every couple of years isn't the biggest expense.

But luckily college is free and public transportation is great in my country.

cries in American

8 points · 6 days ago

Laughs in Socialism

28 points · 7 days ago

It's not that the college and cars are so expensive in America. It's all the guns we have to buy. Being free is expensive.

We can buy guns as well just gotta invest some weekends for the course time and about 900 dollars for the permit and the cost of the course.

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I’d finish my degree if college was free. I’m so jealous of everyone who isn’t American

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There are definitely benefits and drawbacks to both philosophies; my uncle has three kids, all about 10 years apart, and while some things are definitely easier with that age gap, to quote him “I wouldn’t wish college tuition, braces, and diapers all at the same time on my worst enemy.” Also, he’s had at least one tween/teenager in his house at all times for like 20 years, and he’s still got 5 years left of the teen years on the youngest. Poor man’s exhausted lmao.

Yeah that’s the downside of spacing them out too much.. if you have three like your uncle you have to actually parent for like 30-40 years (20+10+10 if your age differences are like that), as if 20 years of parenting isn’t enough.

I’m in the camp of bang em all out in rapid succession. Your body’s already fucked from pregnancy, minimize the exercise effort between trying to keep looking like your old self. They’re all out of the house in <25 years years or so (hopefully). They’re all about the same in development, so yeah you’ll have 2 or 3 toddlers and teenagers at the same time but it’s not like you’re dragging out the rough stages forever. And siblings close in age are often closer to each other!

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9 points · 7 days ago

If they're close enough in age, you can tell 'em they gotta share.


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I have a 3 week old and a 19 month old. Can confirm. Am so much as tired.

no sleep ama?

It gets so much better.

Source: had kids 16 months apart.

Is there a certain age when it gets a lot easier? I want a milestone I can look ahead to. When the youngest is 1 year?

I'd say when the younger one is age two it gets a ton easier. I felt like every month was easier than the last when they were little, but when the little one can walk everywhere and doesn't need help 80% of the time, it's so much better. That's really when they start interacting with each other, in my experience. That leads to a whole bunch of other problems, but they just take patience. And at least you're sleeping pretty well then.

My kids are 3 and 4 and mostly self-sufficient. If they want a snack they can get it, they dress themselves (with input from me), they can clean up on their own, they take care of their plates after eating, they can sweep up their mealtime messes, and they're starting to have the responsibility of feeding the cat at night. There are lots of reminders/threats/incentives to get them to actually do those things, but to me convincing them to do things is easier than having to do everything for them.

It might seem like a long way away, but it goes by so fast.

Thanks! I get all frustrated by parents who are all, "oh you think it's bad now... Just wait until..." Like they don't remember the newborn phase. I feel like a robot right now and I feel like I have to constantly choose between them, which makes me so sad.

"Bigger kids, bigger problems!" How about you go fuck yourself with your bigger problems?

Those people are the type of people who want to have it worse off so they get attention. I can't stand those people. Yes, older kids have a lot going on, but nothing tops the sheer physical exhaustion of having a newborn. Also, you figure a lot of stuff out in the first few years, including how to balance everything.

It definitely doesn't get easy, but it gets easier. For example, I told my girls that we would go to a local carnival today. I stayed up too late folding approximately 286 loads of laundry and was exhausted before I did the cleaning I had to do today. I sat my kids down and explained that I was really tired and it would be better for all of us if we went tomorrow instead. Once my four-year-old was confronted with the thought of me being tired, cranky, and probably a lot harder on her when she's going crazy at the carnival, she agreed that tomorrow would be better. So much easier than dealing with a tantrum.

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22 points · 7 days ago

Shit. So I made a mistake having a 3rd due in August when I already have a 3 yr old and 22 month old?

My first two were 22 months apart and the second and third were 19 months apart. The second one was almost potty trained when the third one came, but then regressed so we had two in diapers for about 8 months. Our kids were good sleepers, so that colors my experience, but I'm glad we had them close together and just got it out of the way. There's definitely a learning curve learning to handle three kids with two parents, though. You're suddenly outnumbered.

It is healthier for woman and child to have 3 years between pregnancies.


This article says health experts recommend 18 months between pregnancies.

This one says 18-23 months between pregnancies.

EDIT: Although I will say I’ve heard the 3 year rule before, but it was in a class for teen moms. The main goal of that was to keep the 15 year old with a baby from turning into an 18 year old with three babies.

My doc told me it takes 2 years for your body to be back to normal. So it is suggested to have kids at least 2 years apart to ensure less pregnancy complications.

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Original Poster135 points · 7 days ago

Actually this level of tired is brought to my husband courtesy of having a newborn and a 2 year old at the same time!

My youngest is now 4. I highly recommend having kids that are older in age. Much easier.

14 points · 7 days ago



4 years, 3 years, 2 years, and 3 months reporting in! It gets easier once they can play with each other. Hang in there.

Original Poster3 points · 6 days ago

They are now 2 and 4 and life is a little easier. Still just as crazy though! I am in awe of you!!

10 points · 7 days ago

tell him to work on his pullout game, my man is shooting some fertile loads

3 points · 7 days ago

And a cat.

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51 points · 7 days ago

As Jim Gafgigan said, "having a 5th child is like drowning and someone says, 'here, you look like you could use a baby' and then hands a baby to you" (and....I'm sure I have misquoted)

Know what having four kids is like? Picture you’re drowning and someone hands you a baby.

We have 4 kids and I can confirm.

That's it! Thank you kind squirrrrrrrel. I sure can mangle a good joke.

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15 points · 7 days ago

"You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby."

Best advice ever.

112 points · 7 days ago

So that baby can take care of the other baby. It makes sense.

When my great grandfather was 6, they handed him a shovel and told him to go get married. By 8 he'd built himself a log cabin in the woods. By 9 he'd tilled the fields. By 11 he was married and had 6 children with the butcher's daughter.

Kids these days.

21 points · 7 days ago

He didn't save the world by the time he was 11? Huh, late bloomer.

He did that at 7, but we're not supposed to talk about it.

but we're not supposed to talk about it.

talks about it...

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Was I supposed to read that in Dwight's voice?

I can't stop you, and neither can the ghost of my made-up grandfather.

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Literally within hours of delivering my only child, the Dr comes in the room, looks at me and her father (also his first child), and says with a shit-eating grin "So! When you guys having the next one?" Wide-eyed, my daughters father and I look at at eachother, then back to him and stammer something to the effect that we had no immediate plans to EVER have another one. This was his intro to encouraging us to get me on birth control immediately. Very effective method.

We found just having a baby in our house to be extremely effective birth control.

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The older baby can take care of the younger one.

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1.3k points · 7 days ago

Wife: "CHARLES! Get that thing away from our baby!"

Cat: "I agree, get this thing away from me."

Baby: farts

Charles: weeps internally

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591 points · 7 days ago

this is the most “cat” photo i have ever seen

thank you

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“Excuse me, can you get this thing out of the way? It’s in my spot.” - cat

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Babies are warm radiators. They sleep as much as the cat does.

Can confirm, am a baby.

What size booties do you wear? these, but red and yellow, they also makes sounds when i walk

12 points · 7 days ago

Are Mimes also your mortal enemy?

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21 points · 7 days ago

Can confirm the confirmation. Was once a baby.

13 points · 7 days ago

Username checks out

Now are you a baby that is dressed as a clown? Or are you a small clown?

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Is the correct form "warmth" in this instance? Genuinely asking.

29 points · 7 days ago · edited 6 days ago

Both warm and warmth could be used there, with slightly different meanings.

"Babies are warm radiators" = Babies are warm and are radiators. "Radiator" implies giving off heat.

"Babies are warmth radiators" = Babies radiate warmth, explicitly stating that they give off heat.

Both phrases are accurate. as my husband can attest since our cat insists on sleeping on his chest, in spite of it being close to 100F (38C) outside these days.

The original phrasing would be more common in American English.

Edit: Changed cat to baby. Both are similarly sized warm blobs. Cats prefer to sit / lie on other warm blobs.

My implication was that a baby was a radiator which is in a state of being warm.

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Baby does not seem to mind at all.

The added pressure and some warmth may also be a comfort to the baby.

All 3 have the exact same expression

  • What have I done with my life?

  • Where did I go wrong?

  • Great try England.

Who needs shame when you can get a nice warmer instead?

A nice BUTT warmer at that

138 points · 7 days ago

That's no way to talk about your baby.

293 points · 7 days ago

This pic just screams England

Yeah that guy just looks really british.

Original Poster174 points · 7 days ago

I will let my husband know. We are both from upstate NY but it's nice to know that we'd fit in across the pond!

13 points · 6 days ago

I was thinking Toby from The Office.

Original Poster21 points · 6 days ago


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Original Poster94 points · 7 days ago

Lol, may I ask why?

129 points · 7 days ago

Its ya grin, mate

97 points · 7 days ago

Also naming a cat Charlotte. That or Mr. Cuddlesworth

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Well you're apparently the 24,601st Weasley...

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22 points · 7 days ago

Just a gut feeling m8

The faces of the dad and the baby, coupled with the mildly unamused-looking cat just seem very English to me

15 points · 7 days ago

Red hair and a hand-me-down robe!

25 points · 7 days ago

There's something Tim Curry-ish about you.

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125 points · 7 days ago

The dad and baby have very similar expressions. It’s like they’re related

Yeah,... Seems like.

70 points · 7 days ago

Tired dad hasn't noticed yet.

21 points · 7 days ago

Ned Schneebly?


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Charlotte should move from the cats spot

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"Oh we're doing holding now? Fine."

I protect human kitten with my ass.

Why have shame when you have game.

11 points · 7 days ago

Oh-ho-ho, you'd better enjoy it while you can, cat. It's only a matter of time before baby's gonna be pulling on your ears and grabbing your tail and you won't be able to do nothin about it.

Your average cat is equipped with 5 different pointy ends, so there's plenty they can do about it.

11 points · 7 days ago

No one is impressed here.

11 points · 7 days ago


"Ooh, hang on, let me get some of that kitten pile action."

19 points · 7 days ago

She knows the boundaries and they all involve her satisfaction to everyone else's dismay.

"I can cuddle two humans at once!"

Efficient cat is efficient.

30 points · 7 days ago

That’s the oldest looking baby I have ever seen.

That's a baby? I thought it was Winston Churchill...

11 points · 7 days ago

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Original Poster10 points · 7 days ago


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That dad looks like he could use a nap

Our cats must be related. Mine does the same to our infant. He'll even step on the baby to get closer to my face. Cute asshole.

Don't have a baby yet, but my cat does the same thing any time I am using my laptop on the couch to get work done. Or if I am doing anything else that isn't paying attention to him. So this picture is a look into my future...

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human, get this ugly hairless dog away from me.

6 points · 7 days ago

"If I fits, I sits"

You are aware that one of the leaves on that pillow/blanket thing is drawn like a penis, right?

Your kiddo seems pretty okay with it.

Look guys, I'm cool with you adding a 3rd human to the pack. That's fine. But it needs to know pack order.

The cat is teaching her slowly 🙂 See how she puts the adult human in his place? "Oh this baby will be super cozy, stay here pls while I plop my butt on her."

6 points · 7 days ago

Oh good the noise machine is off, we can use it for warmth.

6 points · 7 days ago


That [human] baby is your clone.

3 points · 7 days ago

My cat is always sleeping on my phone, I think just because she knows it’s the most valuable item.

Original Poster7 points · 6 days ago

Look at this nice baby here... would be a shame if someone were to...sit on it...

Well Charlotte was there first. So she doesnt need boundaries.

Wow, she really is a jerk.

You have a nice cat btw

I love her lmao

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I like how the dad just gave up

Username checks out

Must keep the baby warm - cat

4 points · 7 days ago

The is just Baby Sitting

"Hey, little hooman! This is my place!"

Nah floof just knows that warm babies nap longer and is tired of the racket. (I don’t know if your child is a racket I am sorry)

That cat is looking for a soul to steal.

Cat looks like toothless

One day Charlotte is going to get sat on by baby. The long con.

She WAS your first baby you know.

3 points · 7 days ago

I really like that (I think) pillowcase

Original Poster4 points · 7 days ago

Thanks, it's from Ikea!

3 points · 7 days ago

Charlotte: I was here first. Damn human baby!!

"Lovely new pillow you have here."

I don't know why but Charlotte is such a strange name for a pet.

Keepin the baby warm

Goodness that's my 50lbs lab mix! I'll be on the couch with the baby and our other baby(dog) will lay right on me as well.

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