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What is your golden rule?

16.6k comments
89% Upvoted
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level 1
2.3k points · 2 years ago

mine is, under-promise, over-deliver.

level 2

This is why I tell women my penis is only 2 inches long. They're always surprised by the extra inch!

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level 1
3.1k points · 2 years ago

The customer is not always right. But they are always the customer.

level 2
2.9k points · 2 years agoGilded1 · edited 2 years ago

"The customer is always right, but we have the right to decide when you are no longer a customer" - the bar

Edit: Thanks for the gold. Already sold it for beer money.

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level 2

Conversely: The customer isn't a customer until they've bought something.

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level 1
4.5k points · 2 years ago

If you're gonna break the rules, only break one rule at a time.

level 2
955 points · 2 years ago

Or if you're Machiavelli: if you do something terrible, do it all at once so people only hate you for a short time.

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level 2
4.3k points · 2 years ago

I learned this from a former roommate and still follow it. It's break only one law at a time. Speeding. Ok. Speeding with weed in the car. Nope. Speeding while black. Nope.

level 3

You got to be careful not to get hit with a DWB(driving while black)

level 4
824 points · 2 years ago

If you're driving while black, cops WILL find weed in your car.

level 5

Just sprinkle some crack on him, and lets go home.

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level 5

HE'S GOT A GUN

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level 2
736 points · 2 years ago

So... what happens if I break the rule of breaking only one rule at a time?

level 3
[deleted]
858 points · 2 years ago

Well, then you've broken 3 rules. Nothing much else.

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level 3
[deleted]
1.7k points · 2 years ago

You will ac̢ci҉de͞nt̸a͢llỳ ͮ҉̲ạ͉ ̧̦̗̩̪͙̪ͤ͒͛̀̀t̖̝̏ͨẹ͒̋ȃ̳͈̺̆ͨ͑ͅr͗ͮ̽͗ͥͥ ̰̤͈̬̝̺̱ͭí̶̂̅̿n̍̌͏͍̦̰͉ͅ ̫͓̰͍͉͖̩̓̃ͣͫ̽ͨ̌ẗ̘̳̪̥̼͔́͒̍͜h̴̦̖̜͗̒̚e̪̻̪̅̋̅̀̊̚ ̔ͦ̓҉͓̞͔͈͇̞f̷̸̜̖ͤ̏̅͂a̛͇̪̙̻͙͖ͪ̄̓̕b̵̵̴̟͕͚̘̿ͩr̶̩̘͓͎̩̣͉̖̱̾̐ͯǐ̡͇͙̘͕͌c̆̊̏͒͐̓͆̚͝͏͎̮̖̞̠̗͔̱ ̮̻͙͉͖͙̽̃ͤ̍ͪͨͭͨ̃̀͞͝ͅo̧͔͎̺͓̺̜̞͔̟̗ͪͪ͒̀ͪ̾͜f̢̨͇͙͖͓̹̗ͭ͋͌̄ͫ̍̔ͤͯ̍͛̊ͭ̕͜͠ ̧͔̥̞̖͚̱͉̞͕̬̹͔̪̟̩̳͗͐̔ͤͨ͘͟͞ş͍̲̼͓̬̤̳̭̜͍̤͖͓̼͒̓̓͆̃̒ͪͭ̈ͬͤ͂̈͒̏̊ͬͮͫ́͞͝p̓ͯ͂ͨ̇̒͊̀̍ͩͯ͆ͪ͛͜͏̼̪̲̪͚̹͎͇̲̘̠̺̜̲̝̀ą̝͕͕̯̟̻̺͚̬ͨ̔̋ͣ̓ͪ͟č̸̨̧̛̱̥̹͈͇̖̯̠̭̺̄̈́̑̌̈̓̋́́̄ͮ͑͘e̲̱͙͇̤̦̮̮̟̲̪ͪ͆̽̎̓̊͆̍̆ͤ̓̚͜ͅͅͅͅt̛̑ͫͫ̉̓̓̆͒̒̚͝͞͏͍̥̦͉̺̠͈̫̣̹̙̺į̎̉͗͂̒̊̒͢͞҉͔͔̞̥̱̠͚̝͍̻͜m̎ͪͬ̀̾̿̒̚҉̵͏̬̰̯̣͙̙͈̪̗͉̘̞̣͖̝̲͍̭ͅȩ̴̪̜̭̦͕̪̺̖̘̫̋ͫ̿̿̆̑̃͘͢͡.̷̵͓̤̼̖̠̻̝̣ͣͨ̃̈̋ͨ̿ͮ͋̓̽ͧ̒̚ͅ ̸̴͙͍̜̝̟̜̜͕̟ͣͥ̅̎ͨ̓ͫ̀̀͑͛̆̔͂̓́͘͞

level 4

I now have cancer, thanks

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level 1
Comment deleted2 years ago(143 children)
level 2

This is so often forgot.

If I'm not happy, how can I make those around me happy? And would I want to if those people don't care about my happiness at least somewhat?

Your emotional wellbeing is yours to control, and yours to nurture.

level 3
107 points · 2 years ago

It's so hard when you just want a certain someone to love you that you focus so much time on that, nevermind what it does to your state of mind

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level 1
6.1k points · 2 years ago

At least think about the arguments the side you are opposing has.

level 2
1.7k points · 2 years ago

This is a very good one. It takes a lot to make me mad but when I do its explosive. When I met my current girlfriend I realised I had to start doing this because I wasn't right all the time.

level 3

I have the exact same problem. I have a high tolerance and can let most things roll off my back... But when I actually do get angry I'm told it can be kind of alarming for the people around me. I'm not violent, but I have a booming voice and a very intense vibe when I'm pissed.

It can be a problem in a relationship. I can't have my girlfriend be scared of me.

level 4
1.2k points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

My dad is like this. 99% of the time he's quiet and doesn't react, but the one time a year I manage to piss him off... run for the hills. He's not violent, just terrifying.

Except when he's driving. He's 100% pissed at all times when driving.

EDIT: Apparently everyone on Reddit is my dad.

level 5
185 points · 2 years ago

“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

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level 2

But dude, how do I become a succesfull politician if I don't mindlessly shout at people?

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level 1
6.2k points · 2 years agoGilded3 · edited 2 years ago

To never make fun of or criticize someone's job. If they are working hard to provide for themselves and their family, then that is something that should be admired and respected no matter how unglamorous the job may be.

Edit: Ermahgerd. I've come a long way from Reddit lurker extraordinaire to triple gilded. Thank ya kindly!

level 2

The only job to be ashamed of is a job done poorly.

level 3

Hey! I take pride in my ability to meet the absolute bare minimum standard that is required

level 4

My catch phrase is "Now that's what I call adequate."

level 5

"It's not just good, it's good enough!"

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level 5

"A solid commitment to mediocrity"

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level 2
1.1k points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

I used to make fun of people's jobs. Then I worked at Walmart.

level 3

100 to 0 real quick.

Real quick

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level 2
883 points · 2 years ago

My parents are uni professors and they sometimes look down on people doing menial tasks and I always tell them off and tell them it's an honest job. The reason it happens to them is because they love their jobs, it's the center of their lives, they just don't know people whose job is just a means to an end and they're living for other stuff.

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level 1
1.2k points · 2 years ago

Be a leader, not a boss.

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level 1
2.8k points · 2 years agoGilded1 · edited 2 years ago

The Golden Rule:

Those who have the gold make the rules.

Edit: Now I make the rules.

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level 1

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over twice and put it in your pocket - Frank McKinney Hubbard

Was an impulsive buyer and this changed my life.

level 2
2.6k points · 2 years ago

It works on credit cards if you only fold it once the correct way.

level 3
1.2k points · 2 years ago

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level 2
215 points · 2 years ago

But but folding it twice would be quadrupling your money

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level 2

The safest way to double your money is to start an exclusive religion and charge people to be in it. - L. Ron Hubbard

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level 1
6.6k points · 2 years agoGilded3

Be hard on the problem and soft on the person

level 2
5.8k points · 2 years agoGilded1

My religious extended family did such a great job of this. They're the "genuine believer" sorts that do missions trips and visit prisons and such. They deeply believe that some things are sinful and you shouldn't do them.

However, when one son got his high school girlfriend pregnant they just did what they could to support them both. Another son brought his new girlfriend - a former stripper - to the family reunion and everybody was perfectly welcoming.

They're good at taking the "This isn't the path we would have chosen, but we're family so sit down and grab one of grandma's cookies and let's play some rummikub" point of view.

level 3
4.8k points · 2 years ago

That's the best kind of religious people.

level 4
2.7k points · 2 years ago

It's also the kind that get the least attention/recognition (in no small part because US media encourages outrageous behavior and sensationalism)

level 5
Comment deleted2 years ago(48 children)
level 6
575 points · 2 years ago

Yep.

Your local news channel is also more likely to cover that person than the guy on the other end of the table who tipped 50% and apologized for the idiot.

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level 6

Definitely read that as "if you go out and eat 10 people and one of them screams..."

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level 4

That's the best kind of people.

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level 3
1.2k points · 2 years ago

OMG nobody I know knows what rummikub is! That last sentence made be more excited than it should have.

level 4
493 points · 2 years ago

Is that an obscure boardgame in the US? Here in the Netherlands its almost as popular as say, Scrabble or Yahtzee.

level 5
357 points · 2 years ago

German chiming in - we're also Rummikub fans! Hallo Nachbar! 😊

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level 2

I wish more people followed this ideal. I had a woman today have a massive go at me for her DVD being faulty and some of our other stores screwing her around (ie her not listening to us or them properly). I spent 2 of our busiest hours doing my best to get to the bottom of the solution, informing her of such and generally trying to appease her. Why don't people understand that I am not the business? Everyone that works for our company is not the company, we're all people. Some of us less competent, sure, but if I'm not the person that screwed up and I'm genuinely trying to help you don't have a go at me.

/rant. Gotta vent some times.

level 3

Haha awh god I'm on my lunch break from a retail store right now. I feel your pain. Most customers are fine but then you get that one who decides you made the company and everything if your fault. Good to rant though hope you're having a good day!!

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level 1
728 points · 2 years ago

Don't make promises you can't keep or don't plan on keeping.

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level 1

Spend no more than $50 during a Steam sale.

level 2

But I want more than 30 games

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level 2
412 points · 2 years ago

You mean spend no less than $50 during a steam sale?

level 3
244 points · 2 years ago

You're saving money

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level 2
425 points · 2 years ago

But but . .

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level 1
3.1k points · 2 years ago

If you aren't bothering me and/or hurting anyone, I don't give really care what you're doing.

level 2

Live and let live. I wish more people would adopt this way of thinking.

level 3
[deleted]
61 points · 2 years ago

Except those who claim to live that way, mostly don't.

Our society today is so obsessed with "not giving a fuck", "no fucks left to give" ect and yet everybody seems to be utterly obsessed with what is bothering them.

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level 2
Comment deleted2 years ago(41 children)
level 3
[deleted]
2.2k points · 2 years ago(0 children)

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level 1
4.7k points · 2 years ago

What you do to one side of an equation, you must do to the other.

level 2

Equivalent Exchange

level 3
571 points · 2 years ago

Fuck that noise, I gots meself a philosopher's stone.

level 4

That didn't bypass Equivalent Exchange, that just made it so the cost was paid by the souls that made up the stone and not you.

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level 3
1.4k points · 2 years ago

FMA

level 4

F=ma

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level 4
1.8k points · 2 years ago

Fuck my ass?

level 5
1.4k points · 2 years ago

If you insist.

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level 1

Everyone has a story. There's a reason for the behavior of everyone. Reach out when you see people in need. You can change lives.

level 2
[deleted]
930 points · 2 years ago

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

True in every case when I started noticing it in that perspective. I even learned to realize that when people seem to be cranky at me at times, its not me, most of the time, its at themselves.

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level 1

Always, ALWAYS, let people underestimate you. That way, its easier to beat them.

level 2

Ah, the Columbo tactic.

level 3

"Just one last thing"" .. turns around

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level 2

Not a good idea if you are looking for a job or promotion.

level 3

Let your COMPETITION underestimate you. Let your employers know you mean business.

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level 1

Always wash out my oatmeal bowl immediately after finishing it.

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level 1
[deleted]
1.8k points · 2 years ago

Don't be an asshole.

level 2

Be excellent to each other.

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level 2

Basically same.

Don't be a dick.

I like the double d.

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level 1
1.6k points · 2 years ago

When in doubt, turn left

level 2
1.2k points · 2 years ago

I'm spinning like a dreidel at this point, don't think I'm doing it right.

level 3
1.8k points · 2 years agoGilded1

No, you're doing it left.

level 4
327 points · 2 years ago

Your left or my left?

level 5
187 points · 2 years ago

stage left

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level 2
255 points · 2 years ago

I'm not an ambiturner.

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level 2

When in doubt, pull it out.

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level 1
Comment deleted2 years ago(767 children)
level 2
3.5k points · 2 years ago

As a german: I like you.

level 3
1.9k points · 2 years ago

My husband is German and always late while I'm American and always early. It drives me nuts. Is there a German rehabilitation program I can put him in to fix him?

level 4
4.2k points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

Is there a German rehabilitation program I can put him in to fix him?

ಠ_ಠ

And now this is my highest rated comment.

level 5
2.9k points · 2 years ago

Something that will help with his concentration.

level 6

Maybe stay over night? Like a camp?

level 7

Sounds perfect! As long as there is plenty of juice!

level 8
694 points · 2 years ago

and a fire

level 9

And showers...

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level 3

As an American: I'm gonna need a doctor's excuse or you're fired.

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level 3
861 points · 2 years ago

As a German, your username is great.

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level 1

Trust, but verify.

level 2
2.6k points · 2 years ago

I trust my wife isn't cheating on me, but I verify by hacking into her social network and email accounts.

level 3

ಠ_ಠ

level 4

Don't worry. He's the kind of guy who thinks checking her facebook on her phone while it's still open is hacking.

level 5
1.0k points · 2 years ago

That's like 90% of security breaches. Spend 80 million on pen testing, audits, staff training, software, hardware and the CEO will still have his password stickynoted to the screen.

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level 2
762 points · 2 years ago

I am very trustworthy, can anyone verify this for me?

level 3

Verified! You guys can have sex now.

level 4

I hava feeling /u/bottomlulz and /u/notbottomlulz could be in cahoots with each other.

level 5
224 points · 2 years ago

That's just absurd.

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level 4

PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN

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level 1
6.2k points · 2 years ago

Have more than you show, speak less than you know

level 2

Never reveal your power level.

level 3
206 points · 2 years ago

Always keep it at 5000

Source: Son Goku

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level 2
5.4k points · 2 years agoGilded1 · edited 2 years ago

Loose lips sink ships,

Cold wind, pointy nips.

*Thanks for the gold, you lovely person! May your nips always point you in the right direction.

level 3
5.6k points · 2 years agoGilded1

Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,

Giant snake, birthday cake, large fries, chocolate shake!

level 4
4.9k points · 2 years agoGilded1 · edited 2 years ago

Pinot noir, mid-sized car.

And....golden star!

level 5
Comment deleted2 years ago(32 children)
level 6

Pinot noir, Roseanne Barr

level 7
193 points · 2 years ago

Listen to Tom Berengar

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level 5

PiinOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT NOOOOOOIiiiir

level 6

Au revoir

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level 5
1.5k points · 2 years ago

Washing machines, desperate screams

level 6
[deleted]
1.7k points · 2 years ago(62 children)

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level 4
551 points · 2 years ago

ohhhdd parents, fairly odd parents!

level 5

Wands and wings...

FLOATY CROWNY THINGS!

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level 3

I... something dicks?

level 4
[deleted]
406 points · 2 years ago

Sit on my face.

level 5
206 points · 2 years ago

And tell me that you love me!

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level 2
Original Poster1.7k points · 2 years ago

I'm trying to live by this, but sometimes it's really hard to not talk a lot about topics I'm enthusiastic about, and it comes off as bragging.

level 3
4.2k points · 2 years agoGilded1

Look, man. Whenever you feel like talking that much again, just realize that nobody gives a shit.

level 4

I kind of find this hard though, because there are times I want to tell people things and I don't even care if they give a shit, I just want to talk about something cool.

level 5

I get where you're coming from. They just aren't interested because they don't get HOW COOL it is!

level 6

Exactly! If I just keep talking about it endlessly, they'll finally realize how cool it is!

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level 4
484 points · 2 years ago

I disagree. Whenever someone is enthusiastic about something, there is a very good chance that it will make me a bit interested in it, too. OP should start with enthusiasm, then check if anyone's listening. If yes, carry on.

The part I don't get is why it comes off as bragging - surely OP is talking about the stuff, not about himself and the stuff, right? Because the latter is the uninteresting part, most of the time.

"Oh yes, I this is fascinating! I especially don't get/like that X does Y! Isn't that cool?" vs. "Oh yes, I actually graduated in this topic and wrote my thesis on this! The explanation you're looking for is Z. Many people believe in XY, but that's just stupid, hehe. (I warn you right away: Arguing with me is senseless here, because I'm so passionate about this that I will attempt to crush you with my - surely superior! - information. I wrote my thesis on this, after all!)"

Because are you talking about the topic you like, or are you talking about you and your connection to the topic you like (and possibly how that is the reason why everyone should listen to you now)?

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level 1
[deleted]
2.0k points · 2 years ago

Don't be a dumbass.

You want to drink in a National Park? Fine, go for it, just Don't be a dumbass. Clean up after yourself and don't leave your fucking cans and bottles.

You want to swim in the Potomac River? Fine, go for it, just Don't be a dumbass. Don't do it the day of or day after rain, and stay the fuck out of the current in the middle.

You want to do all the crazy jumps on your new snowboard you just bought? Fine, go for it, just Don't be a dumbass. Practice on the smaller shit first and work your way up.

You want kids at 20? Fine, go for it, just Don't be a dumbass. Understand it's a lot of work and you'll see a hell of lot less of your friends, who are out at the bars and whatnot.

level 2
[deleted]
650 points · 2 years ago

For the love of God... who would actually WANT to swim in the potomac?!

level 3
[deleted]
135 points · 2 years ago

It depends on the area you're in. Upriver of the city, you're fine. Like I said, don't do it after it rains.

And it's fun. I've found a lot of nice little beaches where I can chill and fish, and yes! go for a swim.

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level 1

Always check behind a closed shower curtain before going to the bathroom

level 2
372 points · 2 years ago

So true! My family always closes the shower curtain to "make it look nice". I have to have it open "because murderers".

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level 1

Not to be aggressive ever while angry, unless its self-defense.

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level 1

Driver picks the music. Don't touch my radio, I won't touch yours.

level 2
1.4k points · 2 years ago

My friends say that the passenger gets to decide the music. Idk what the hell happened in their childhood to make them think such a horrible thing.

level 3
397 points · 2 years ago

Passenger can DJ with driver's approval, driver always has final veto.

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level 3
2.4k points · 2 years ago

Passenger picks the music, but if the driver doesn't like it they absolutely have the right to

a) force passenger to change it

b) ridicule passenger for terrible taste

level 4
[deleted]
243 points · 2 years ago

That's how it works in my circle

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level 4

c) throw the passenger out of the moving vehicle

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level 1
4.0k points · 2 years agoGilded1 · edited 2 years ago

Instead of being pissed off about stuff, just don't give a fuck. Helps me a lot.

Edit: I was not expecting at all to be gilded for this comment. Thank you, kind stranger.

level 2
[deleted]
608 points · 2 years ago · edited 9 months ago

I go to cinema

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level 2
1.2k points · 2 years ago

Indeed. I like my nihilism, it's pretty meh.

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level 1
1.3k points · 2 years agoGilded1

I greet.

You don't.

I swear you in my head.

level 2
1.5k points · 2 years agoGilded1

"Hi, how are you today?"

"Large coffee"

(I hope you die in a fiery auto wreck on your way to work)

level 3
921 points · 2 years agoGilded1

I swear you

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level 2

Poetic

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level 1

Kindness. I find little tolerance for cruel and rude behavior.

level 2
446 points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

I find little tolerance for cruel and rude behavior.

I find quite a bit. My version of kindness is being kind even to those who I think don't deserve it. You never know what's going on in that person's life that's making them act shitty. Your kindness could help them in some way.

Edit: my point is I think it's most important to be kind to those jerks. They need kindness in their life. Have they earned it? No. Could they (and by extension everyone they interact with) benefit from it? Absolutely.

level 3
1.3k points · 2 years agoGilded1 · edited 2 years ago

Story time!

So way back in the day I was a hairsylist. Colors, cuts, all that jazz. It was a well known chain (that was anything but Fantastic!) so we usually had a lot of walk-in customers. People, in general, are normally pretty nice and friendly. Will engage you with small talk, which is all I did all day long, and are generally not too bad. Not this one lady though.

When she came in it was weird. She was a walk-in and I was next up, so I called her back once I was ready. No response. Call her name again a little louder and she looks up, doesn't say a word, and just follows me back. Fast-forward and I ask her what she wants me to do and she just says flatly "I don't care. Just do what you want."

Okay...

As a side note, this was during the peak of the recession in Michigan in an area that thrived off of the auto industry. Plants were shutting down left and right and we were getting a lot of women who normally would go to high-end salons but could no longer afford it. They came in with a nasty attitude like the whole thing was beneath them and were a pain to deal with. This woman was dressed pretty nice and had an upper-middle class aura so, being young and naive, I assumed this was the situation.

So I go through the motions, give her a trim, and the whole time I'm asking questions and she's basically ignoring me. Might get a grunt or a one word response, but that was it. As the visit went on I was getting more and more annoyed. A sort of "look lady, just because I work here doesn't mean I'm a shit hairdresser and just because you're "slumming" it here doesn't mean I'm gonna give you a bad haircut," type of attitude. I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was snarky and sarcastic. Something to the effect of "I'm not a mind reader, so if you don't tell me what you want you're going to get what you get."

She looked into the mirror at my reflection, said "Oh my god, I'm so sorry..." and burst into tears. Not just a little either, but full on, shaking and gasping for air, heart-wrenching sobs.

Turns out she had been up all night. Her son had gone away to college that fall and he had died of alcohol poisoning. They had woke her up in the middle of the night to tell her and she'd been up ever since. She was - in a very, very literal way - on autopilot. She explained that she had just been driving for hours aimlessly and she saw our sign. She supposed that she should get her hair done so that she looked nice for the funeral.

I learned two very important lessons that day. First, as has been mentioned, you have no idea what is going on in another person's life and why they are acting the way they are. Second, everyone handles news like that differently. Some people hide, some people surround themselves with family and friends, some people don't know what the fuck to do. So don't ever judge someone on a one-off encounter for being a dick. You have no idea what's going on in their life.

Edit: Obligatory thank you for the gold! But really, thank you for the gold :)

level 4

Something about this reminded me of a time I was a dick without meaning to be.

I was, at the time, a store manager at a well-known video game chain store. I had just finished opening, lifted the gate, and was finishing some stuff behind the counter before the day's shipment came. On weekdays, the opening manager generally opened alone, with help coming in the afternoon.

2 guys came in. They looked to be construction workers. It was raining really hard that day, so maybe their work was cancelled? Not sure how that stuff works. One of them noticed promotional items around the store for Fable 2 and asked a perfectly reasonable question.

"Hey man, what's Fable 2?"

"The sequel to Fable."

"Wow... Thanks asshole."

They left the store immediately and it didn't dawn on me until a few moments later that I really must have come across as an ass. I certainly didn't mean to. I was in a bad way when I worked there and I also tend to come across a lot more harshly than I intend to. Had I not been alone in the store, I'd have run after and apologized. I still think about this moment and use the memory of it to try to be a more approachable, friendly person.

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level 2
507 points · 2 years ago

Politeness always pays off.
And it costs you nothing.

level 3
231 points · 2 years ago

Being nice costs you nothing, but pays for a lot.

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level 2
Original Poster950 points · 2 years ago

I'm really sorry for being naive, but how do you keep act kindly to those who don't? It gets frustrating sometimes.

level 3
421 points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

I assume that the person is having a terrible day. I picture that they just found out they have cancer, had their car stolen, found out their spouse cheated, have a sick child, lost their job, are in physical or mental pain, etc.

We don't really know what's going on in most people's lives, and sometimes it's just easiest to take the high road and hope that you did something nice for someone who was having an awful time with something unrelated.

level 4

If someone cuts me off in traffic, I usually just think to myself, "Oh, they are probably just running late to volunteer at a soup kitchen."

level 5

My wife always says "they probably have diarrhea." Now my kids have reportedly said the same thing in other people's cars, much to the confusion of the other occupants.

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level 3

I agree it's very frustrating and worse it's very sad. Honestly I've just sort of learned to tune them out. If a person wants to persist in being shitty, I just walk away; literally and figuratively.

There are way more people out there who respond well to basic kindness than not and I focus on that.

level 4

I was waiting for a flight connection today, and this guy in the queue... he... talked to me. Like, politely making conversation, asking where I was going, am I on holiday, etc?

I felt so violated by this brazen display of basic human interaction.

level 5
1.0k points · 2 years ago

"Is your cellphone dead or something, you fucking creep?"

level 6

'Just because I'm not wearing headphones right now doesn't mean I want to talk!'

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level 3

I find that whenever somebody treats me unkindly, I have no choice but to act kindly towards them. Any other reaction, would only reinforce whatever image that person has of me that would cause the unkindness.

EDIT: The exception to this is hurtful unkindness towards someone else. That could possibly require intervention.

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level 3

Thick skin. If you're kind to others, and they give you nothing but negativity back, 9 times out of 10, it has nothing to do with your happiness, and in the 1 instance it does, it's because some people are just assholes.

Instead of mandatory military service nowadays, kids should be forced to work 1 year retail. The anger, spite, outright hatred you will experience, and train to roll right off your back is a enormous life lesson.

If you don't agree, that's fine too. Have a great day and we'll see you back soon.

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level 1
1.4k points · 2 years ago

When an argument breaks out, stay neutral until your hand is forced. Think of yourself as Switzerland, this neutral body just observing warring factions at work/school etc

level 2
468 points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

But maintain sure eyecontact with all parties to establish dominance.

E: my phone can't period read

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level 1

I never talk shit about anyone to anyone.

level 2

This is very very applicable. Unless you're venting to your SO, it will always get back to the person. I've been the middleman here and you're like "okay do not tell him I told you" And they're like "I promise on everything holy and my sons life"

Next thing you know person C hates you.

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level 1
291 points · 2 years ago

Always thank the bus driver

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level 1

All software is broken. (I've been doing software QA for a while...)

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level 1
[deleted]
602 points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

Don't stick your finger where you wouldn't stick your dick.

Edit: I think some people are confused and need to look at this as a safety rule. I know under everyday scenarios you're not going to stick your dick into your bag of skittles...

level 2

But it feels soooooo good to stick my pinky in my ear.

level 3
[deleted]
505 points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

Woah,hold on dude. I said where you wouldn't stick your dick, not couldn't stick it.

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level 1
4.8k points · 2 years agoGilded1

If someone has more wins than losses, I'll be Sub-Zero. If they have more losses than wins I'll be either Predator, Raiden, Takeda, or Goro.

level 2

This is the most compassionate answer

level 3
141 points · 2 years ago

Who knew MKX would be the bringer of peace in our days? An age of compassionate enlightenment, spiced up with tearing out spinal cords and other gruesome fatalities.

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level 1

Just because someone worked in the company longer than you, or was there before you, doesn't necessarily make them more competent than you.

level 2

it's not about who you know....it's about who you blow.

level 3
246 points · 2 years ago

and you always leave a note.

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level 1
1.7k points · 2 years ago

It's okay, if it's in a three-way.

level 2
849 points · 2 years ago

With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway

level 3
365 points · 2 years ago

The area's grey

level 4
337 points · 2 years ago

In a one, two, three way

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level 1
767 points · 2 years ago

Just because you're different doesn't mean you're useful.

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level 1
579 points · 2 years ago

Piss when you can. Seriously. Small urge to pee when you're about to lay down? Take a piss. No urge to pee when you're about to lay down? Take a piss. About to leave for a date and just pissed? Take a piss.

It's so nice, never having an inconvenient urge to piss because whenever I have a chance to take a convenient piss, I take it.

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level 1
111 points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

Don't tell people what emotion they are feeling.

Whether you outright accuse them of it (i.e. "You don't have to get so upset about it!", "Stop overreacting", etc.) or indirectly claim it through a question (i.e. "Why do you get so embarassed when..."),it is often embarassing or even insulting to the individual to have their entire current state of being reduced to a single word. That word you just accused them of being, even when used with the best intentions, does not even come close to the way they are really feeling.

This is my philosophy on why the common "Calm down", "Stop overreacting", etc. are often responded to with "I AM CALM" or "I'M NOT OVERREACTING." It's not that they disagree with you, it's that you are misrepresenting the way they feel.

Instead, try asking them how they feel. Let them describe it to you because once you understand them in their own terms, you will better understand how they are perceiving the conversation.

I have become very aware of this and find that my conversations are much more meaningful and effective when I make a conscious effort to avoid it.

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level 1
[deleted]
971 points · 2 years ago

"A fap a day keeps the stress away."

level 2

I must have kept like 4 stresses away this morning.

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level 2
1.1k points · 2 years ago

"A neck shave a day keeps m'ladies away."

level 3
596 points · 2 years ago

Tip the fedora before gifting the flora

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level 1
Comment deleted2 years ago(104 children)

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level 1
[deleted]
1.1k points · 2 years ago · edited 2 years ago

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Not always the easiest to follow at times, but I'd say it just about sums up how a good person should life their life.

EDIT: As a rule of thumb.

level 2
419 points · 2 years ago

I prefer to treat others the way they want to be treated.

I might like a friendly game of scrote squad with my buddies but I'm not sure meeting my neighbors kids and punching them in the testicles is the way they want to be treated too.

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