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[–]1boxfox 1873 points1874 points  (59 children)

Trying to make a sketch of anything. It looks like I've tried to draw it using only my elbows. Have you ever seen those videos of the elephant that they give a paintbrush and paints to? He is able to make a more accurate rendering of an object than I am.

[–]Stooby2 429 points430 points  (24 children)

Same here and I hated those excruciating years at school when you had to take art. My "flowers in a vase" almost had the art teacher in tears and not because it was beautiful.

[–]siddhartha183 124 points125 points  (16 children)

I once made a vase in 6th grade which looked like the shell of a tortoise and the art teacher humiliated me in front of the whole class.

[–]sadisticspice 80 points81 points  (0 children)

When I used to teach English and had to illustrate vocabulary words on the whiteboard, I would have my kindergartners do it. This was partly because it meant a lot to them and mostly because they drew better pictures than I did.

[–]oddjob12 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Jup same here. My 3 year old and i are on the same level.

[–]AxonPotential 52 points53 points  (7 children)

And then people say "just practice and you'll get better! There's no such thing as talent, just hard work and dedication."

I've tried to draw for the better part of a decade, even taken multiple classes, and have not improved at all. I can accept that there's no such thing as being naturally good or talented at drawing, but I know for a fact that some people, like myself, are naturally shitty.

[–]Shanghaispo 35 points36 points  (0 children)

It is practice but also being able to actually see what you draw is a difficult concept for most people. A common problem when people start off drawing is "Symbol Drawing" - that is drawing what you know, not what you see. Example: You draw what you "think" an eye looks like, but in reality eyes don't look like footballs with spikes for lashes.

You're right though, some people comprehend drawing by seeing easier than others. Everyone learns at their own pace. Some people practice incorrectly. I always think "Perfect practice makes Perfect."

But also remember, if drawing feels like a chore, you probably won't be able to get very far. Art takes a lot of time and dedication.

[–]rabidstoat 1249 points1250 points  (88 children)

Whistling. I never even figured out how to whistle until I was well into adulthood, and I can't make it change pitch or anything fancy.

[–]TheGrooveDuke 151 points152 points  (22 children)

I’ll teach you to whistle if you can teach me to roll my Rs

[–]rabidstoat 135 points136 points  (17 children)

Spanish in high school, Spanish in college, grew up in Florida, spent a month studying Spanish in Mexico as an adult, and I still can't roll my Rs.

[–]ChaoticMC 65 points66 points  (10 children)

Say "AAAAH". Meanwhile, move the tongue on the roof of your mouth, NOT directly behind your teeth, but further away from your teeth.

[–]navix11[S] 195 points196 points  (20 children)

Tell me about it. All I can manage till now is spew spit or get my fingers wet to no success :|

[–]Afraid_of_Velcro 104 points105 points  (17 children)

Try whispering the letter q.

[–]RandomName01 116 points117 points  (4 children)

Now I'm just sitting here whispering the letter q, but it still doesn't even come close to whistling.

[–]its_real_to_me_ 1896 points1897 points  (91 children)

Wrapping presents. No matter how much effort I put into it I just can’t get it right

[–]navix11[S] 452 points453 points  (18 children)

There's always a crappy flap that spoils the whole symmetry :(

[–]Oolonger 74 points75 points  (4 children)

I was terrible at it until I worked at a gift shop and had to do it all day. The biggest mistake you can make is to use more paper than you need. It’s impossible to make it look neat if you have huge swathes of extra paper to tuck in. Take your time and figure out how much you need before you cut it.

[–]Rndomguytf 103 points104 points  (2 children)

Just paint the gift, then it'll look like its wrapped

[–]SleepyConscience 46 points47 points  (2 children)

Gift bags are the greatest invention of all time.

[–]-notJohnThough- 87 points88 points  (7 children)

Just tape down every random flap

[–]DontPressAltF4 28 points29 points  (5 children)

And then you've gotta tape down the tape, too.

[–]RandomLuddite 42 points43 points  (4 children)

I just use tape for it all. No paper. It's the only way to be sure.

[–]spitfire9107 57 points58 points  (15 children)

buy gift bags

[–]master-of-orion 19 points20 points  (8 children)

I'm so happy that gift bags are a standard in my family and circle of friends

[–]MissBonny 52 points53 points  (7 children)

We've been exchanging the same set of gift bags for the past 20 years. It's tradition now.

[–]grobbewobbe 71 points72 points  (8 children)

i use aluminum foil to wrap my gifts. people usually go like, wtf is this? to which i reply, it's your gift douchebag. now stop looking at the wrapping and open it

[–]inevitablelizard 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Was just about to say this, glad I'm not the only one who had that idea. I used it for one particularly difficult present for my niece. She's only 2, like she gives a fuck that it's tinfoil.

[–]Juan-duh 708 points709 points  (15 children)

Blanket. I get it twisted up and it only covers a third of the surface area it should. My boyfriend always gets the bewildered kind of frustrated when he comes to bed. "This is not a thing you can be bad at!"

[–]halibutcrustacean 481 points482 points  (6 children)

You're the person struggling in Snuggie commercials!

[–]gyozaaa 533 points534 points  (18 children)

I can't catch anything one-handed. My wife gives me a hard time about this and always throws random stuff in my direction,and I always close my hand after it bounces off.

[–]KalEl1191 382 points383 points  (0 children)

That’s hilarious. Your wife is like an overly demanding dad for this 1 specific thing.

[–]Simon_Kaene 211 points212 points  (8 children)

I don't have a problem catching stuff, but if you want people to stop throwing stuff at you, I have something you can try.
Watch it as it comes at you, take a step to the side and continue to watch it. Then look at whomever, straight in the eyes for a good 5 seconds and then walk away.

[–]-917- 1498 points1499 points  (101 children)

Sleeping. I get shitty sleep; I don’t feel rested. I’m just shit at sleep.

[–]BartholomewOobleck 353 points354 points  (13 children)

  • No staring at lit screens for an hour before bed. No TV. No phone. No tablet. If you use an e-reader, turn any backlight way down.

  • no caffeine for 6 hours before bed.

  • use only natural fibers on your bed. Cotton sheets and blankets. No synthetics or fleece. They may trap heat but they also don’t breathe. And can trap more moisture that would otherwise evaporate.

  • ideal temperature. You might be too warm. Your body temp drops when you sleep so experiment by setting the thermostat down by 4 or 5 degrees cooler than you usually have it during the day.

  • no light: invest in some “blackout” curtains or blinds so that your room is actually dark, and not just relatively dark.

  • exercise. If you run or lift during the day, especially earlier in the day, then your body is likely to be genuinely fatigued and you’ll sleep deeper

  • water. Stay well hydrated and your body has an easier job resting, regulating your temperature, and resting.

  • and duh, get a good mattress and pillow(s).

[–]Moftem 200 points201 points  (0 children)

This guy rests.

[–]-917- 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this.

[–]NortonDK 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Maybe you have sleep apnea, you should look it up

[–]Merry_Pippins 116 points117 points  (13 children)

Do you take anything to help, like melatonin or moon drops?

Have you cleared away the "light junk" in your sleeping area, things that make extra light that you don't notice but still emit enough light to be disruptive? For me, my wireless router has to be in my bedroom, but I found out that I slept much better once I covered up the light that it produced from its little signal indicators.

Other things that help me are temperature control (I wake up when I'm too hot), being thirsty or hungry, etc.

Good luck, I hope it gets better for you!

[–]yoloargentina 47 points48 points  (12 children)

Moon drops?

[–]bacon-syrup-taco 222 points223 points  (2 children)

Crystal Meth, after being awake for a full week you sleep like a baby.

[–]TheVoiceOfRiesen 29 points30 points  (3 children)

Code word for Skooma.

[–]ArmanDoesStuff 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Khajiit has Nyquil if you have coin

[–]ReturnOfFakeMan 352 points353 points  (20 children)

Blowing up the balloons. It's not as easy as it looks.

[–]navix11[S] 265 points266 points  (7 children)

Dude, and part on tying the knot. It takes me so much time that the air seeps out and I'm left with this shit of a ballsack balloon.

[–]combcombgulf 39 points40 points  (2 children)

Try wrapping the end around two fingers. Then you can open the fingers slightly to put the end bit in between the fingers. There's no way you can go under the tightly wound rubber easily with no leeway for closing the knot!

[–]Kendermassacre 576 points577 points  (18 children)

Cleaning tubs. I can make everything else in the bathroom sparkle like a diamond but when I try doing the tub it goes wrong. I will end up with so much water everywhere that I may as well be fighting off alligators waiting for an emergency air evac.

[–]Cairnwyn 108 points109 points  (7 children)

For me it's my shower. How am I supposed to rinse it down without half drowning myself? I feel lucky when I get through it without major bodily injury. Yet, I've had professional cleaners in before, and they somehow manage not to end up looking like a drowned rat after a wild sewer ride in a monsoon, so I know it must be possible.

[–]ken_in_nm 92 points93 points  (6 children)

Next day off, clean it while you take a shower. I clean the shower first, then myself. I had the same issue as you until I came to this epiphany.

[–]Urbanscuba 64 points65 points  (2 children)

I can't believe this even needs to be said.

"I have problems not getting my clothes soaked in the place I spend 99% of my time nude"

Real easy solution there.

[–]Alicricity 18 points19 points  (2 children)

This is what I do too! I wear shower flops while I clean so my feets don't get covered in the cleaning supplies.

[–]nookienostradamus 149 points150 points  (12 children)

Photography. I don’t cut people’s heads off in pictures or anything, but the framing always sucks and every picture I take is deeply mediocre.

[–]VoxDraconae 78 points79 points  (6 children)

Not really a photographer, but my step dad is.

Rule 1 is the rule of 3. Picture a 3x3 grid on top of your pictures and use that to frame your photo. Like put the horizon line on the lower horizontal lines, a tree on the right line, something like that. It's not foolproof, but I can take ok landscapes and group photos.

[–]kwadd 990 points991 points  (95 children)

Dancing. Damn I suck at it. Got no rhythm.

[–]GrayOctopus 308 points309 points  (12 children)

Do you have guilty feet?

[–]Kerriganszergheels 175 points176 points  (11 children)

Yep.

Though it’s easy to pretend, I know you’re not a fool

[–]noelg1998 77 points78 points  (8 children)

Should've known better than to cheat a friend.

[–]Sence 63 points64 points  (7 children)

And waste this chance that I've been given

[–]Dankyoukindly 60 points61 points  (6 children)

So I'm never gonna dance again

[–]TheOneWithExtraSalt 62 points63 points  (5 children)

The way I danced with you

[–]mrchu39 147 points148 points  (23 children)

So you're saying that you don't have rhythm, but listen what you're doing right there!

[–]silphred43 103 points104 points  (20 children)

With that stamp and a book, you've got a real nice hook. Sounds to me like you have rhythm to spare.

[–]ShayminKeldeo421 81 points82 points  (19 children)

I have no idea what you're talking about, he's got as much rhythm as that chair.

[–]ARedditResponse 72 points73 points  (18 children)

What happened to me was a tragedy, I don’t have to be a millionaire.

[–]Scottie7372 70 points71 points  (17 children)

I got a sweet gig goin on here, got all the books that I can read.

[–]rebecca-bunch 61 points62 points  (16 children)

All these sweet old ladies and this carpet from the eighties, what more could a librarian need?

[–]Calypxo 54 points55 points  (14 children)

Besides I ain't got rhythm

[–]TheOneWithExtraSalt 39 points40 points  (13 children)

No I ain't got rhythm

[–]jaxson25 34 points35 points  (12 children)

I said I ain't got rhythm

[–]-notJohnThough- 52 points53 points  (11 children)

Im just stiff when im made to do shit like dancing :(

[–]kwadd 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I hear you man. My girlfriend (now wife) took me to learn salsa. Everyone was shimmying and gyrating. I couldn't do the hip rotation thingy if I'd had a gun put to my head. My girl took one look at my pathetic shuffling and said she loved me anyway. Right then, I knew she was the one!

[–]Hahonryuu 52 points53 points  (2 children)

Just do the Carlton. It was created specifically to give white people with no rhythm something to dance to and pretend to be doing it ironically. You'll get laughs and nobody will be the wiser. It's fool proof.

[–]beuts93 532 points533 points  (30 children)

Cutting with scissors, I can’t cut in a straight line even if I’ve marked it out.

[–]BoxingDayThrowaway17 97 points98 points  (6 children)

I just use a scalpel and ruler. Scissors are frustrating as fuck.

[–]snakydude 115 points116 points  (16 children)

Are you by any chance a leftie. Left-handed hear and I can't cut paper for nuts!

[–]Simon_Kaene 33 points34 points  (3 children)

I'm a leftie and I can't either. Ambidextrous scissors are just so damn uncomfortable for my sausage fingers, and I have never given enough of a damn to buy a left handed set.

[–]kind_of_a_man 61 points62 points  (5 children)

I'm right handed and have the same problem; I can't keep my hand steady.

[–]RoastyTheToastyGhost 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Same, even when they provide lines for guidance I end up with some of them in, some of them out of the cut. To rub salt in the wound, people sometimes tell me a little kid can do a better job...

[–]noypkamatayan 490 points491 points  (20 children)

Maintaining a conversation.

[–]-notJohnThough- 281 points282 points  (7 children)

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[–]Ishaboi97 161 points162 points  (6 children)

What was Wenger thinking, sending Walcott on that early?

[–]punchmypotatoes 146 points147 points  (2 children)

Thing about Arsenal, they always try to walk it in.

[–]ethanbrecke 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Yeah it is true. See you later, Moss.

[–]ConstantlyComments 127 points128 points  (3 children)

I’m in sales and have to make small talk constantly with strangers every day. I️ have to have 2 hour long lunches and dinners with people I’ve never met on the regular. I️ wouldn’t say I’m an expert, but I’ve learned a few things that might be able to help.

We, as humans, deal with a lot of common things: Kids/family, hobbies, major life changes, pets, weather, where people are “from”, news, their job (especially things that they like or hate about it), traveling, food, or something unique they’re wearing are all good things to open with until you can find something juicier. Why are you both in a conversation in the first place? For work? At the same bar? Have a common friend? In a waiting room? Start with something about that. The small talk dream is to arrive at something both you and they actually care about and/or have in common and therefore can talk about at length. You help them figure out what interests you they help you discover their interests. Sometimes they overlap, sometimes they don’t, but you can at least ask questions about the hints they’re giving you to keep the convo going.

Each comment someone makes hopefully gives you a tangent you could possibly travel down conversationally. The trick is to not only notice these nuggets of interest, but to kind of store them up and remember them if a tangent you’re on runs dry. When you are traveling down a tangent that ends, that’s usually how conversations stop and become awkward. Both you and they apparently don’t know or care enough about that topic. Try another. You need to bring a nugget out of the vault from something they said before to keep it going. “Oh and you were saying before that (you just moved here/you just got married/you just had a kid/your dog chewed your briefcase/you hurt your foot running/you got that jacket in Italy/whatever)? Then ask an open-ended question about that. Don’t say “And you said before that you saw the new Star Wars movie? Did you like it?” Say “And you mentioned that you saw that new Star Wars movie - how do you think it stacked up to the rest of them?” Or “what was your favorite part?” If they mentioned they saw it, it probably means something to them. Maybe they’re a Star Wars fanatic and could talk your ear off about it. Do you care? Maybe. But at least you’re learning about each other a bit.

This ended up being much longer than I thought. Hope it helps!

TL;DR - find commonality, learn to notice and remember possible conversational tangents, and ask open-ended questions. Small talk is inherently boring at first, but hopefully you’ll both discover something you care about mutually more than average. Then again, maybe both of you will be not so great at small talk and it will just suck. But you can always try to improve!

[–]nightterrorgirl 666 points667 points  (36 children)

Remembering names of celebrities - it makes conversations hard sometimes when the main subject is actors or singers. I just don't take it in haha

[–]Raichu7 131 points132 points  (7 children)

I’m useless at that too, whenever someone mentions an actor I’ll always have to ask what films they’ve been in before I’ll know if I know who they are or not. And I’ll refer to them as the characters they’ve played, like calling Daniel Radcliffe Harry Potter because I can’t remember his real name.

[–]Pew___ 47 points48 points  (3 children)

See I remember actors but not film titles.

I've googled "Jake Gyllenhaal train movie" an embarrassing number of times

[–]Something5555 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Well at least it doesn't matter too much.

[–]Scholes_SC2 266 points267 points  (26 children)

Is sex an average activity?

[–]rettam_ti_seod 170 points171 points  (15 children)

Considering the large population we have...I guess yeah.

[–]BlackLeatherBook 61 points62 points  (5 children)

Pro-tip: learn to be great at oral. If you're a dude who finishes too early, stop and start eating her out. If you have no rythm, and your hips do in fact lie, let your tongue get some reps. If you're a chick who's awkward and lays there, oral will make the guy not care.

[–]Pizzaispower 260 points261 points  (29 children)

Following geographical directions verbatim. I simply just type addresses into my smartphone now.

[–]LOLICON_DEATH_MINION 141 points142 points  (19 children)

This is why I cut people off and ask for an address now. It's annoying when people try to hammer auditory directions into my head. Goddammit, I'm going to forget that shit.

[–]Simon_Kaene 48 points49 points  (4 children)

I navigate via landmarks usually, or more accurately buildings. I'm not memorising street names, my brain is full of enough crap as it is. That being said, my car has an internal gps unit, which has saved my ass a number of times.

[–]AgitpropInc 55 points56 points  (7 children)

What's worse is when I explain this same thing to people, and they persist in trying to explain directions with landmarks and local references. It's like they just don't believe me when I repeatedly stress how terrible I am with directions.

I almost had a Craigslist buy get cancelled because every time I asked for a street address, I'd get "do you know that parking lot next to Generic Burger Joint?"

"Not particularly. Can you send me an address?"

"What about the Target west of the zoo?"

"I couldn't point to 'west' with a gun to my head. Can you just text me an address?"

[–]lowp0wer 38 points39 points  (2 children)

Man that drives me up the fucking wall. I can somewhat understand people my parent’s age doing this since that’s how they did it for quite a while. But people my age? Dude you have a smartphone too. You know how this works.

[–]LannisterAsAlways 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Man that drives me up the fucking wall

Then down the street, second exit on the left.

[–]Raz0rking 524 points525 points  (23 children)

remembering names. I train with a bunch of people and do not remember the names of half of em...after 2-3 years of training together.

[–]nbolds442 113 points114 points  (8 children)

God I hate this. It's so awkward.

[–]Simon_Kaene 93 points94 points  (6 children)

Heeeeyyy...... mate. Long time no see right?

[–]Hahonryuu 76 points77 points  (5 children)

God the worst part is when somebody tells you to go get the thing from Steve cuz then you're like

"sure Steve. right...which, uhh, which Steve again? I always get them confused."

[–]janiesgotagun222 510 points511 points  (68 children)

Small talk

[–]Rndomguytf 507 points508 points  (27 children)

Me: Hi

Other person: Hi

Me: So how's it going?

Other person: Yea its going good, you?

Me: Yep

Two seconds pass

Me: Like, its going alright mate

Other person: Yea right that's nice

Three seconds pass

Me: Some weather huh?

Other person: Yea its pretty typical

Me: Yes

More awkward silence

Other person: You come here often?

Me: Yes, sometimes. You?

Other person: Not really

Silence

Other person: Right, I have to, um...

Me: Oh yea, I need to do something

Other person: Nice meeting you

[–]Quantum_Burkowski 284 points285 points  (8 children)

Hey thanks for that. I reckon I could do small talk now you've showed me how.

[–]Deroni76 195 points196 points  (7 children)

But that's not-- ah, fuck it.

[–]navix11[S] 84 points85 points  (5 children)

I do have some friends who are weirdly smooth at that. However, I believe it's a skill to practice; most of us are usually not good at it.

[–]janiesgotagun222 62 points63 points  (3 children)

it's just a big part of my job that I've been doing for years but I feel like I haven't improved at all

[–]edgyscientist 62 points63 points  (1 child)

it's because you've peaked

[–]PleasantView_5 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No; he hasn't even begun to peak, and when he does, all of Philadelphia will feel it.

[–]RocketPropelledHiFiv 16 points17 points  (1 child)

People LOOOVE to shit on small talk, but it’s a learned social skill that is actually very beneficial to getting through life.

[–]CpnStumpy 234 points235 points  (49 children)

Sweeping. Fuck me, I just move shit around, and every time someone See's me do it, they start telling me I'm doing it all wrong - I agree, nothing's cleaner after I've swept it - but I don't know what else to do about it. I don't see the different thing others are doing. I have always failed at it. No fucking clue how.

[–]Scholesie09 110 points111 points  (22 children)

Make a tiny pile then collect it with a Dustpan.

[–]CpnStumpy 103 points104 points  (17 children)

If innumerable demonstrations throughout my life failed to make me figure out what I'm getting wrong, I doubt a sentence on Reddit will :P

[–]raznog 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Could you post a video of you sweeping. I’m really curious.

[–]middleagenotdead 160 points161 points  (8 children)

Chopsticks. For the love of god, I can't use them. I even had a girl from Tokyo try to teach me. "After twenty minutes she finally said, We use forks and spoons in Japan too. "

[–]jupiter78 15 points16 points  (3 children)

God damnit yes. I've looked at almost every single tutorial video or website and I cannot do it. I can never figure out what I'm doing wrong.

[–]eibweNi 75 points76 points  (3 children)

Remembering names of people I've just met. It takes me weeks to remember new names.

[–]PatientFM 61 points62 points  (10 children)

Slicing/chopping food. What takes most people a few minutes, takes me at least double the amount of time if not more.

[–]DrDudeManJones 120 points121 points  (20 children)

I can't snap my fingers. I'm 25 years old, and I can't fucking do it. Any time I tell some one that, they do the same fucking thing. "It's easy, you just do this," and they snap their fingers. It ain't that fucking easy for me!

[–]ImThatGuyToday 45 points46 points  (5 children)

The snap isn't with your fingers. Imagine it like a spring. Your finger will push against your thumb and build up kinetic energy, then let it slip off your thumb full force to hit your palm right below your thumb.

The sound is made when your finger hits the palm.

Your two strongest fingers are the middle and ring and usually those are the ones you can snap with.

[–]Genrl 10 points11 points  (2 children)

A spring doesn’t build up kinetic energy, it builds up elastic potential energy.

[–]Ludi965 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You're not alone.

[–]june606 91 points92 points  (11 children)

Catching anything even when prefaced by 'here, catch'. My instinct is always to duck and has been all my life. I don't know why that should be given that the countries I've lived in are the UK, Australia and New Zealand where nobody is likely to lob something lethal at you.

I also cant throw anything at anyone however small or large unless I use a netball throw (clutch item to middle of bra and then throw).

[–]witchwithflyinghead 40 points41 points  (13 children)

I can't back up a vehicle with a trailer on it. We had a boat, but I had to leave it in the water at the marina all the time so I could use it because I couldn't get it in and out of the water at the dock like a normal person. I can back up in a car, but attach something to the end of it and something in my brain just short circuits.

[–]waterlilyrm 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Same here. I ended up being very good at driving the boat because there was no way in hell I was getting that trailer down the ramp at all, let alone straight.

It was always amazing watching the husbands flip shit at their wives, who were never allowed to drive the damn boat, when they could not back the boat off the trailer properly. The bigger/newer the boat, the bigger the meltdown. I used to joke with friends about the boat ramp being divorce central.

[–]Arkeolith 40 points41 points  (1 child)

Having one consistent signature. If I sign my name ten times it looks like ten different but equally incompetent forgers tried to forge the same guy's signature. Seems like everyone else masters this by high school but I'm now in my 30s and nope. Hopefully never leads to a situation where I'm accused of not being myself lol

[–]FusRoYoMama 179 points180 points  (50 children)

Wiping my ass. Seriously, no matter how much I wipe there's always shit appearing. I break out the wet wipes and there is still shit. I need a bidet apparently.

[–]AnotherDurbin 199 points200 points  (6 children)

Or a better diet. Get some fibre dude

[–]ehco 153 points154 points  (7 children)

"it's like wiping a magic marker!"

[–]edumahcation 28 points29 points  (11 children)

My mom got an attachable bidet for one of our toilets and let me say this... it changes your life. You become impeccably clean down there and you only need toilet paper to dry.

[–]LumpyDispenser 98 points99 points  (7 children)

Having friends

[–]QuiteTheCunt 36 points37 points  (5 children)

I'll be your friend. :)

[–]pm-me-ur-feelingz 87 points88 points  (4 children)

What a cunt ^

[–]QuiteTheCunt 53 points54 points  (1 child)

You don't need to PM me for me to know what you're feeling.

(It's probably a dick in your ass.)

[–]pm-me-ur-feelingz 41 points42 points  (0 children)

licks lips

[–]chunwookie 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Using hand tools. I can fully understand what Im working on and know exactly how to do it but somewhere between brain, hands and tools it all breaks down which generally leads to losts of cursing and throwing things.

[–]CaptNemo131 35 points36 points  (6 children)

I cannot ride a bike. Never learned, never had an interest or need to learn

[–]Maleficus1234 31 points32 points  (1 child)

Small talk. I'll talk your ass off if you get me going on the right subject, but small talk? Kill me now.

[–]avajlu 30 points31 points  (2 children)

Lighting a match. On the off chance it does work I surprise myself and put it out due to sheer panic.

[–]cebeast 151 points152 points  (43 children)

Can't do the hover pee in public restrooms. I just put down some TP or a seat cover and sit comfortably to do my business.

[–]Xelopheris 166 points167 points  (3 children)

Just get people to stop hover peeing! There is only piss on the seats because of people hover peeing in the first place! It's the circle of piss.

[–]zerbey 78 points79 points  (6 children)

Assuming there's nothing on the seat before you sit down just trust your immune system will protect you.

[–]bysingingup 120 points121 points  (5 children)

You could literally have aids, and sit on a seat with polio, smallpox, black death, and ebola on it and as long as you're not full of open wounds you'd be fine

[–]Greasy_Bananas 55 points56 points  (0 children)

And if you are full of open wounds, hey, that's the next person's problem!

[–]Penya23 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Omg this and peeing outdoors. I just...cant.

[–]mrguse 69 points70 points  (12 children)

Why bother even putting down the toilet paper? It doesn't actually do anything.

[–]Raichu7 26 points27 points  (3 children)

It mops up the pee from the other people.

[–]Reading_Rainboner 66 points67 points  (2 children)

So then you're just sitting on the pee mop and not the pee directly

[–]Raichu7 43 points44 points  (1 child)

You clean the pee off then set down extra paper just incase you missed some.

[–]bysingingup 50 points51 points  (5 children)

Right? I mean unless there's literally shit in the seat I just sit down. Like I've got time to make a damn work of art with toilet paper when I gotta piss

[–]fourtaco 24 points25 points  (3 children)

Remembering to put out the garbage. Friggin Thursdays...

[–]Femmeforever 23 points24 points  (5 children)

Navigation. I am AWFUL at it. I always assume the person driving knows where we’re going...which leads to a lot of ‘...oh uh that was our turn...sorry!’

Doesn’t help I also somehow can’t tell my left from my right 🤦🏼‍♀️ so it’s also a lot of ‘okay! Turn left here!....no! Sorry! I meant right!’ I’m a reasonably clever 31yo and I still have to do the ‘left’ and ‘right’ fingers.

[–]-eDgAR- 47 points48 points  (7 children)

Gardening. I inherited my mother's black thumb and even though I would like to have a garden and plants, I am never able to keep them alive very long.

[–]zerbey 34 points35 points  (0 children)

You're probably over watering your plants. If you touch the soil and a little sticks to your finger the plants are A-OK. Tip from my Grandfather who was an amazing gardener, I stopped killing plants when I learned it.

[–]Instantglue 20 points21 points  (10 children)

pooping

[–]navix11[S] 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Sometimes I poop it all in a go and it makes my poop n' twitter experience quite a disappointment :/

[–]Beckels84 44 points45 points  (17 children)

Cleaning, according to my husband

[–]KiranSD 45 points46 points  (5 children)

Conversing about one topic. I'll get distracted by a thought, say it aloud and then the conversation changes until it circle backs or develops elsewhere. After a while, friends get used to that I will change the topic for no reason at random points. Only exception is when it's important, then you have my full attention.

[–]brutalbrian 21 points22 points  (1 child)

I can't whistle, blow up balloons, sing, do accents or impressions. So breathing, basically.

[–]birdman361 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I'm really terrible at ice skating. My little sister was really good, and even gave lessons. I just couldn't get the hang of it.

[–]violentlyout 59 points60 points  (6 children)

Opening envelopes. I maul the mail.

[–]Scholesie09 38 points39 points  (1 child)

That's just a good excuse to buy a letter opener and be a badass opening mail with a dagger

[–]Wolfey1618 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Remembering literally anything ever, especially stuff that I don't find interesting.

[–]Trummerlotte 80 points81 points  (32 children)

I cannot for the life of me tie my shoe laces.

In kindergarten every child, me included, learned how to do it but I somehow forgot how to do it once I entered elementary school.

Since then a lot of people have tried to teach me how to do it but until this day nobody was able to teach me.

[–]Michigander1817 25 points26 points  (14 children)

I am sorry to hear of your plight, although I also find myself amused.

So what do you do? Not buy shoes with shoelaces? Have others tie your shoes? Not tie your shoes at all?

[–]Trummerlotte 36 points37 points  (13 children)

I only wear shoes that either have velcro straps or zippers on the side.

The last time I really wore shoes with shoelaces was when I was going ice skating with my former best friend. She knew of my incompetence and just tied my shoes for me.

[–]Shacklefordc-Rusty 19 points20 points  (11 children)

I’m assuming you’re a woman? I can’t think of any men’s shoes other than loafers or sandals that don’t have laces.

[–]Trummerlotte 14 points15 points  (6 children)

In Germany there are a lot of shoe shops that don't have laces. It's a cultural thing, I guess ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[–]BibliophilicBaal 19 points20 points  (1 child)

I was the same until I hit the age of 16 and was like "This is ridiculous." spent like the next 4 hours just trying to tie my shoes. I still prefer shoes with no laces as they're quicker and easier to get into, but I can indeed tie my shoes now.

[–]oniichandayo 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Remembering how to go someplace. Went to a place that was three minutes from the train station five times before I remembered how to get there.

My friends tease me by asking if I know how to get home every time we go out.

[–]rylie_smiley 14 points15 points  (4 children)

Making unique comments on reddit. Everyone else always makes them before I do!

[–]ThlnBillyBoy 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I snap my fingers at your comment. And whistle at that guy's comment! I can wipe my ass too! Hah I love this thread!! I'm so fucking good at stuff! I'm so good at being average. Huh.

[–]thatone-there 12 points13 points  (3 children)

I can’t whistle in any form, nor can I click my fingers.

[–]ReginaldJohnston 12 points13 points  (5 children)

Living. I'm constantly told how terrible I am at it. People's reaction over the years is that I should just take it back to the shop and forget the whole thing all together.