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26.5k

What is worth every second of the extra time that it takes?

12.5k comments
91% Upvoted
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Clean your home before taking a journey/trip. It just sucks to come home after a long day in the car/train/plane and your desired home is a mess. Tidy up at least a bit, wash dirty dishes, do the bed (!!), and you will feel welcome when you return home.

My wife does this because if we die on our trip, she doesn’t want people having to clean our dirty house.

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289 points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Stopping at red light.

It maybe close to unthinkable for people in the US or Europe to run a red light. But in my home country Vietnam where there are a lot of motorbikes this happens ALL THE TIME.

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4.9k points·3 months ago

Grabbing all empty drinks, trash, jackets out of the car every single time you pull in the driveway so that it stays clean.

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Asking questions. I swear 99% of complications in interpersonal difficulties in life are from people being too afraid to step on toes, hurt feelings, or just not taking the time to understand people that all comes from a lack of asking questions and an abundance of assumptions.

I've mostly stopped doing this on reddit especially because I get sick of people treating all questions as an attempt to disprove their view instead of as a request for information.

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8.4k points·3 months ago

Leaving for the bus/train etc a bit earlier so that you don't have to stress in the last second or risk that the bus/train leaves too early

Additionally, for the airport early.

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7.0k points·3 months agoGilded1

Double checking that a ballistic missile attack is really happening before sending out an alert to a whole state.

Amen. I was shaking for hours afterward. I'm on the mainland, but my parents and siblings are back there. My mom made the decision to not wake up my sisters because she didn't want their last moments to be fear-filled. A mom shouldn't have to make that decision ever

I’m in Australia and my wife’s in Hawaii for a trip - she called to tell me to tell me goodbye and not to wake the kids. An emotional morning.

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That's heart-breaking....

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Ensuring your keys are where you thought you put them. Because you may think they're in your purse. But they may actually be hung up around the bottom of a bar stool in a restaurant that's about to close. Just saying...

Just have a specific place for everything and put it back where it belongs. Even if you're just tossing things in one certain drawer, you'll always know what drawer they're in. Instead of hunting in the medicine cabinet and the bedroom and the end table etc etc for the nail clippers.. always keep them in the medicine cabinet.

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Using a turn signal. It saves lives.

I get extremely angry when people switch lanes without using their signal like...no that shit isn't optional.

Makes me so angry too, especially when they actually turn into another street or parking lot, etc without using their signal. Fuck Florida drivers.

Or you reach a 4 way stop at the same time with the car coming the opposite way. The car wants to turn left but it's not signaling. Even if he would've signaled, you still have priority of the right. So you start moving assuming the guy wants to go straight, at which point he turns left almost crashing into you and you see him doing the WTF are you doing hands while talking on his phone. For a brief moment assault seems like the most reasonable response to what just happened.

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14.0k points·3 months ago

Removing valuables from your car.

5.6k points·3 months ago

Also, locking your car doors.

Comment deleted3 months ago(155 children)

Someone stole an ice scraper from my car once. I noticed my car had been rummaged through but as a 17 year old boy at the time I didn't have much valuable, except that I guess.

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1.9k points·3 months agoGilded1

Teen burglars are the best. My grandma had a break-in at her house and she scared two boys about 16-18 off by pointing a hairdryer at them and saying she was going to shoot them

"I will make you look Fabulous!!!!"

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4.9k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

This might be more specific to me, but I work a sales job and I track all of my revenue. I make revenue in two separate areas, with spreadsheets for each.

My coworkers don't do this. They just rely on management to track all of the revenue that actualizes. While complaining, at the same time, that they don't get paid enough, that they are being shorted on their commission.... But how do they know they're being shorted if they don't even track it?

I go through every sale that I make, as I make them. and then every day, I check to make sure the sale actualized. Then at the end of the month I calculate my total commission, and check it against the incentive check my boss gives me.

This way, if its discrepant, I can point it out. And I can also plan my finances accordingly, so there's no surprises when my commission isn't as great one month.

I have made more money since doing this. Like several hundreds of dollars more every month, because then I can put a strategy into place if there are areas where I see I need to improve. It takes me maybe 10 minutes every day. But my coworkers say they don't have the time, they just want to complain that their check isn't as much as they thought it would be.

also helps for moving into new sales positions, too

present those spreadsheets and records in an interview, and people won't question that you know what you're doing.

it's the difference between an amateur and a professional, really. an amateur shows up and tries to hit their quota. a professional knows exactly what they need to do to hit it, and aims to exceed it.

Literally didn't even think about that. Thanks!

Of course I might have to clean it up a bit. Things like "pain in the ass old guy from December who keeps trying to get discounts" probably won't look great as part of a sales portfolio

Comment deleted3 months ago(14 children)

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14.2k points·3 months agoGilded3

Calling an older relative just to say hi and see how they’re doing - it only takes a few minutes, but it means the world to them to hear from you.

Change minutes to hours for my relatives, lol.

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2.6k points·3 months ago

The ol' minnesota goodbye.

I think this originated from us not wanting to have to leave the comfort of indoors to go outside in the checks thermometer 4°F (-16°C) weather. Then we just never figured out how to quicken goodbye time and that tends to be the majority of our time together.

Well, I'll be going now. Did you hear about the Vikes?

You just need to teach people the "Irish goodbye". When you're ready to leave, you just leave and don't say anything to anybody.

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"a few minutes" my ass. If I call any relative except my brother, I can expect to be on the phone for 2 hours, minimum.

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558 points·3 months ago

I have the opposite problem. My grandmother is notoriously difficult to have a conversation with, especially on the phone. She gifted us a very generous check for Christmas and when I called to thank her offer to take her to lunch, she kind of ignored it, told me she understood I must be busy, and rushed me off the phone.

This was nice when I was a teenager and didn't realize how lucky I was to have any grandparents at all (she's now my only one), but now it's a little hurtful lol. She's always been this way and she ain't about to change in her 80's.

I called my aunt, just to say hi and see how she was doing, and she proper rushed me off the phone after 2 minutes, like "yeah so, I'll let you go anyway, take care, god bless, bye bye bye" so I just thought, okay, rude, but maybe she was busy or something. She called my mum to say how lovely it was to hear from me and how nice it was that I thought of her. She just doesn't do long phone calls I guess.

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Parents too. What I would give to be able to pick up the phone and call my dad or mom. I wish I had called them more when I could.

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Brushing your teeth

6.1k points·3 months ago

Nothing better than fresh breath.

Actually maybe having teeth is pretty good too.

Having no teeth :

Pros : You don't need to bruth your teeth, give great blowjobs.

Cons : You can't eat thtuff.

2.6k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Pros: You won't bite your tongue ever again

Cons: You won't bite anything ever again

Edit: My most upvoted comment is a reply to a porn star. Nice.

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Cleaning wile you cook, especially if you live alone. Most times I'll have everything cleaned and put away, and leftover containers portioned out before I start eating. Things wash off easier right away, and most recipes have enough down time to finish everything (though I have occasionally had to microwave my own meal).

Heck, just cleaning in general, actually. Doing a little every day stops it from building up to the point where it seems like a monumental task you keep putting off.

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Cleaning as you go.

4.5k points·3 months ago

Want to add this is especially true when cooking.

I am always using the time while the food is heating/simmering/etc. to go ahead and wash the prep dishes/cutting board/knives/measuring utensils/etc. and even clean the counter so that when the food is ready, you really only have to clean the pots/pans and the dishes you ate on.

Huge time saver and for me it makes the meal more relaxing knowing I don't have a mess waiting for me in the kitchen.

Now I just have to apply this to the rest of my house since my wife can't understand why I don't!

Such a terrific habit!

The very first thing I do when about to cook is wash my hands

Second is fill the sink with dish soap and hot water

You fill the sink so you can soak your utensils for at least a week right?

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21.1k points·3 months agoGilded1

Leave your house early enough so you aren't trying to make up time on the road.

I realized this by way of complaining about slow traffic to a coworker. Apparently I'd done this a couple of times before as one day she said "the same again today?". It dawned on me that being in a rush was my problem, not the traffics. I started leaving earlier and it's one of the best things I ever did. No more pissed of morning runs to work, plus I get there on time.

That's one of my favorite things--- realizing a flaw in your character, recognizing, and then addressing the issue to improve yourself as a human person. Too many people are incapable of this, so good job and thanks for sharing!!

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Nah it's easier to just lay on the horn before the light even turns green, yell at people driving responsibly and then pass them on the shoulder

The light turned green .003 seconds ago why the fuck are you not moving! Now you're exactly the reason I'm late and has nothing to do with my bad planning so I'm going to be upset and yell at you the whole time I'm behind you.

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Working safely. It only takes one second for something bad to happen to you and change your life forever. Leave from work the same way you came to work.

Hungover? Can do!

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1.3k points·3 months ago

I'm always surprised checklists aren't more of a thing in most workplaces. (Check lists are what pilots use in aircraft to make sure everything has been properly checked and set prior to takeoff.)

1.2k points·3 months ago

(Check lists are what pilots use in aircraft to make sure everything has been properly checked and set prior to takeoff.)

Surgeons, too. Using a simple checklist has HUGE benefits to rates of infection and other complications.

https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/magazine/fall08checklist/

Pronovost discovered why. In a study of 100 Michigan hospitals, he found that, 30 percent of the time, surgical teams skipped one of these five essential steps: washing hands; cleaning the site; draping the patient; donning surgical hat, gloves, and gown; and applying a sterile dressing. But after 15 months of using Pronovost’s simple checklist, the hospitals “cut their infection rate from 4 percent of cases to zero, saving 1,500 lives and nearly $200 million,” Gawande told reporters.

And it's not just safety. I work with IT and manufacturing, and it's absurd how costly simple missed steps can be that are resolved by just using a super simple checklist.

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PPE!!!

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Pre-flight check on an airplane, including weather ahead.

1.6k points·3 months ago

And double and triple checking to make sure your wheels are down and locked before landing. Saw a pilot skid down the runway once with his landing gear up and decided then and there that would never be me.

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9.7k points·3 months agoGilded1·edited 3 months ago

This is gonna sound lame but...

...hugging someone until they are ready to let go

Edit: holy shit didn’t expect this to blow up this big. Thanks for all the responses and the gold... whomever you may be.

3.2k points·3 months ago

What do you do if they're doing the same thing? You could end up stuck hugging forever both thinking damn the other one must really need a hug.

2.3k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

A couple friends tried to outlast me... I always win.

There was a ask reddit thread about a year ago or so that asked, “whats the worst thing about being single” and one of the top answers was the lack of physical contact.

I’m single right now so thats my secret. I never want the hug to end because I’m not sure when I’m gonna get the next one. 😉

Edit: had to change “were” to “was” because it was driving me crazy

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487 points·3 months ago

Lol that happened to me. A friend hugged me, and I didn’t even realize that I was drifting off into comfort until she kind of held my arms to pull away🤭

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Yep. Totally worth the extra time. I hug my little boy til he tells me "I've had enough cuddles" and he wriggles free.

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Changing the bed sheets, even if you're tired. Love when everything feels so crisp and clean!

Nothing worse than coming home late after a hard day to find that arsehole past you stripped the bed but didn't put the clean sheets on. Selfish prick.

111 points·3 months ago

God i hate it if i come home from work and just want to chill in bed for a few minutes and want to watch something... and then there is no bed sheet... feels like the most exhausting activity possible

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Putting your seatbelt on. I've always worn mine but I was in a serious accident about 15 years ago where I have no doubt my seatbelt saved my life. I don't ever get in a car without putting my seatbelt on first thing.

3.2k points·3 months ago

It is also worth mentioning that not wearing a seatbelt could harm others in the car as well since your body could fly right at them.

I wish more people understood this. "Put your seatbelt on."

" no I don't care if I die/I'm a good driver."

"I don't want your 200 lb body flying into me and the other passengers."

"I don't care if I die"

Uh, do you also not care if you lose a limb or get brain damage or become paralyzed for life? Car accidents are rarely instant death vs perfect health

I always say "I'd rather be strapped in and risk the whiplash than get my fat self stuck half in half out of the windshield."

I was in an accident where I hit a pole head on at about 55mph. My seat belt didn't lock up so I hit the steering wheel with my chest and the steering column with my legs. I took a cut to the neck from the belt. But I was still in the car. Had I been ejected it would've likely been fatal.

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5.8k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

My cousin was in a car accident with her boyfriend a few years ago. She died, boyfriend survived because he was the only one wearing his seatbelt.

I don't get in a car without wearing it; and if you don't want to wear your seatbelt in my car, you're fucking walking.

edit: holy shit are there some lucky people around. Yes, I get that sometimes people are saved by not wearing one; but more often than not, your seatbelt is going to save your life rather than trap you in flaming wreckage etc. Take the time to wear it.

This is a rule I have in my car. The car doesn't move until everyone has their seatbelt on.

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1.7k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Here in Australia it’s the law. If a passenger isn’t wearing a seatbelt it’s not [edit: not only] them who gets fined, it’s [also] the driver. So yeah, wear it or GTFO. Not that I’ve ever had anybody refuse to wear one.

When I started driving my brothers would get so mad that I demanded they'd put their seat belt on before I went anywhere. One time I got so fed up with my littlest brother whining about the seat belt that I swerved around (when I was much more experienced) to scare him and throw him around the car a bit. He never bitched about it again.

My friends dad used to do seatbelt checks when he was driving his van. In the parking lot he slammed on the gas and then the brakes and looked for who flew out the window. Everyone wore their seatbelts with him.

looked for who flew out the window.

Wait what now

Sometimes he would even back up over them to really drive home the point

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This all the way. I was giving my parents and 2 of their friends a lift to a restaurant and I asked if everyone had their seatbelts on, they said yes, but I was 99% sure my mums friend hadn't, so I got up to about 15 on the road we live on, and slammed on my breaks, my mum, dad, and the friends husband all stopped and my mums friend headbutted the back of my front passenger seat, not TOO hard, but enough to make my point.

My mum tried to go apeshit at me but I shut that shit down straight away. If you get in my fucking car, where I'm responsible, and lie to my face about wearing your seatbelt after I specifically asked you to, you either get the seatbelt on or you get the fuck out of my car. I don't give a fuck who you are.

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I've been in one crash and the seatbelts definitely saved my life and the lives of the rest of the people in the car too. Because of that, if I'm the driver, I won't move until everyone has their seatbelts on.

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325 points·3 months ago

I don’t get this either. It takes 2 seconds.

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Sleeping.

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I take the time to heat milk up on the stove when I make hot chocolate. It’s so much smoother and my family agrees it’s better that way but they still microwave hot water because it’s quicker.

5.5k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

My wife was surprised that I use milk in my hot cocoa. Apparently she uses water. I knew that was a thing, but you don’t expect it from the people you love.

Edit: yes we are still together.

Heathens

Right?

Nobody ever asks "Hey, want some warm chocolate flavored water?"

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4.4k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Prepping the following day's meals. I eat like a Hobbit and will pack breakfast, morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack. I don't overeat or get lightheaded during the day because everything is already figured out. So worth the extra time in the evening. EDIT: For all you LOTR fans, I realize I don't eat EXACTLY like a Hobbit. No second breakfast, elevensies, etc. My point being, I eat similar to a Hobbit, meaning frequent meals.

1.3k points·3 months ago

While I don't always do it the day before, I will do this in the morning.

Being diabetic, I find it easier to control my snacking and blood sugar if I cut up and portion celery, apples, etc. and that way I can just grab the container and not have to worry about eating too much. Bonus is I have lost about 20 lbs over the course of a year doing this!

That's fantastic! It makes your day 10x easier.

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I second this as an emotional eater. If I plan ahead a little bit the night before, it is so much easier to keep my cravings in check and reach for healthier options.

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Lock-out/Tag-out.

Don't forget Try Out.

Potential energy may be stored so, after locking and tagging, take the extra moment and try it to see if it works.

At work, I'll unplug a grinder before changing the disc, but I hit the trigger before touching the disc. When I change a light fixture, I flip the breaker and then I try the lightswitch a few times to be sure that it's off.

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Chewing your food

Mastication

NO BREATHING

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2.0k points·3 months ago

Spending time with your kids.

Why the hell are you spending time with my kids?

Haha dam, worth a try...

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Studying before a test.

I'm looking at you eighth grade me

For me it’s been attending class consistently.

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2.2k points·3 months ago

Playing with a kid or animal. Even doing it for a mere five minutes brightens human existence.

It makes the animal happy at least

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Thinking before speaking/texting/tweeting etc. In particular, asking yourself what result you are hoping to achieve by doing so. If it's just to make yourself feel better or to make someone else feel worse, then don't do it.

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My grandpa had been in the hospital with complications from a ruptured tumor since December. He had an infection spread through his body, and after being in Critical Care for over a week was cleared to go home and be taken care of by hospice to make his remaining time comfortable and manageable.

My mom and I were at the hospital with him all afternoon Wednesday, and we were upset because the hospice care was taking much longer to get the house ready than they had originally said.

We were there for about three hours longer, just sitting and chatting with him, only the three of us in his room, waiting for the hospice to give the thumbs up to take him home.

Those three hours we had together seemed to drag because he was so excited to get home and see his dogs and my grandma, so he was getting fidgety. We shared laughs, though, and it was great.

We got him home, and he passed within two hours.

Looking back, I'm so happy that we had those extra hours to spend with him. I'm so glad that we had every single second that we had to wait for hospice to set his bed up.

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Little: rinsing out your dishes after you eat.

Bigger: spending time with your loved ones.

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3.0k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Running the tap a few seconds before filling your glass.

Edit:

Why?

To get the still water out of the 1 meter or so of pipe between the circulated pipe and the tap. This results in cleaner, cooler water.

Edit 2: This page from the HSE (kind of like the UK version of OSHA) goes into stagnant water in pipes about half way down. I just did it because it made the water taste better, didn't realise it actually made the water safer too.

Edit 3: No the water isn't wasted, it goes into a bowl that goes on the garden, into the washing up, or on household plants.

Or getting in the shower.

My aunt collects the cold water in a bucket to put on her garden.

Smart

We also live in Australia, so drought and water restrictions.

251 points·3 months ago

Same problem in South Africa so I’ve started doing this too

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Toasting the bun/bread for a burger or sandwich. It's so much better and really IS worth it.

You owe it to yourself, because you're worth it.

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12.7k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Cooking pizza rolls in the oven instead of the microwave. Will wait extra every time.

Edit: my top comment is about pizza rolls. I couldn’t be more proud. Shout out to Totinos! Fellow oven users, I appreciate your support...and thanks for the cooking tips!

This applies to just about everything

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Try them in an air fryer! Started cooking them that way for my little boy and now my wife and I are hooked on them again.

Are those like cornballers but safe?

Everyone is microwaving and airfrying and cornholing except Buster

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310 points·3 months ago

How am I approaching 40 and just now learning about this wondrous device? If I'd had it in college I might still be physically stuck in my dorm.

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My problem with the air fryer is that foods don't come with prep instructions for an air fryer. I have to guess at what temperature and time to use.

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Kissing your SO good bye in the morning.

I'm a single dad. My kids are older and I leave for work before they get up for school. I always wake them to say goodbye because you never know.

1.8k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

The last thing my dad said to me before he died was "I'm going to work, I'll see you later. I love you". You're right, you really never know. You're a good dad.

Edit: This blew up while I was away, y'all are fantastic.

Edit 2: I've read through all the comment replies to this and they are intense and touching, I just dont know what to say. I've never had this type of reaction on Reddit before and I wish I could hug you guys or knit something for each of you. Y'all be good, and love your loved ones

The last thing my dad said to me was “I can’t tell you how unsatisfying it is to be working a job you don’t love”... that really fucked me up a long time. Now I always say “Goodbye, I love you, be safe” to my significant other before they leave in the morning.

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My SO leaves almost everyday before I'm even awake. He kisses me bye even if I'm not coherent enough to remember it happening. It's one of my favorite parts if the day.

I usually do this as well, but one time I spooked her and she headbutted me in the face.

Worth it

Lmao. A similar thing happened to my SO as well. He came over to my side of the bed for a kiss and then started drinking out of my squeezable water bottle. There wasn't much water in it so it made a super loud sound. It was like 4AM and I opened my eyes to see some dark figure standing over me holding something. Needless to say I screamed in terror, and he's still traumatized to this day. 😂 At least this wasn't as physically painful as yours :p

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Mine too! I usually wake up just enough that I don't know what is happening, but remember later. He stopped doing it for awhile, but I mentioned that I missed it. He apparently thought that I hadn't known he was doing it.

It's just such a nice reminder that you are loved.

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Mine does this to me too and I started reciprocating the action. Occasionally I’ll catch him smiling in his sleep, so even if he’s not awake he is either having a good dream or is somewhat aware of what’s going on :)

8.0k points·3 months agoGilded1

fuck I am so alone

Well, that took a hard left..

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A former professor, now good friend, of mine who is a sex therapist said his best piece of simple advice for a relationship is to always kiss your SO whenever you're leaving or coming back to them, no matter what. Even if you're coming to argue with them, that little action reminds you that you care about this person and sets a better mood.

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Foreplay! Unless you are going for the quickie, good foreplay is a must. I do not understand people who get in and out in 5 min.

5 minutes?? What are we running a marathon here?

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Here's a tip, don't put it in until she is practically begging for you to

1.6k points·3 months agoGilded1

"Would you please just put it in so you can go already".

Comment deleted3 months ago(8 children)

Does sound like your wife..

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Seriously a huge difference. I think there's a time for a quickie but it's not every time. It makes everything so much more enjoyable, especially as a woman.

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Lining up your socks on your feet so you don't spend all day with the heel part off on the side and the toe seam annoying your toes.

Who doesn't do this?

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2.6k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

As a side to this.

Going through your socks and throwing out ones that don't fit and/or have holes in.

edit: it's fucking "an aside" and I'm mad at myself for getting it wrong; but can't bring myself to deceive everyone by ninja editing.

Comment deleted3 months ago(34 children)
1.1k points·3 months agoGilded1·edited 3 months ago

Sir, I would give you gold, however I need to buy new socks.

Edit- why thank you stranger! May your little piggies stay forever warm and dry.

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Do people not do this? Heathens!

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170 points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

Making sure the jackstands are secure and the wheels are choked before you get under any vehicle.

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Cable management when building a PC.

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Folding and putting your laundry away right after it's done drying.

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25.6k points·3 months agoGilded1

Making sure someone gets into their house/apartment when you drop them off, before driving away.

When I was college this was really harped on because my freshman year an older girl was drunk and her friends just dropped her off at the end of the night and just drove away and then she ended up falling on the ice outside of her house and nobody found her until morning and she lost her fingers and feet to severe frostbite. So yeah this is 120% worth it every time especially in winter.

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3.9k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

As someone who is not used to others looking out for her, after a date in a different city a guy walked me to his my car.

I was faffing about doing things in the car, checking my route etc and replying to messages on my phone for about 10 minutes, before I looked around and saw him still waiting there for me to drive off.

I felt really bad.

Edit: to say MY car.

1.8k points·3 months ago

Had you started your car? Once the other person's car starts I usually feel comfortable leaving, I also worry it'll seem creepy if I wait too long :/

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Especially if:

-They're drunk

-It's cold out

-It's night time

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I work at a fun center. Most of our employees are teenage girls. They park out back where there isn't a ton of lights and often leave after dark. I've explained once or twice why I wait by the back door until they actually drive off.

I'm a small man who has worked in lots of scary dark places.

I tend to forget how frightening they can be for other people.

Generally it's the women who ask for an escort and then it takes me far too long to realize why they'd need one.

For example I walk through a corridor almost daily that is pitch black for 20 feet or so. The building has zero people in it at this time. I've lead other employees into it before and totally forget that it might be creepy to see your boss disappear into the black hallway.

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1.1k points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

I admittedly used to forget to do this a lot of the time, especially if I was in a rush or it was late and I was really tired.

Long story short, I got locked out of my house for hours in 5 degree (celsius) weather wearing a hoodie, thin sweatpants and slides with socks. I was still living with my parents and we just moved so I didn't know the garage code and we hadn't installed a doorbell yet. Knocking didn't wake my parents up and my phone was dead. I think the only reason I didn't develop hypothermia was because my car was unlocked and a friend of mine had left a jacket in there. It wasn't warm, but it helped.

Eventually, my parents woke up after I alternated between knocking and sleeping/crying in my car for a solid few hours. I've never driven off without making sure that someone was inside since.

Edit: before you think I'm dumb for dressing like that, it was an unseasonably cold day in late April. I didn't realize how cold it would get at night and I didn't think I'd be outside for more than 30 seconds.

Did you try hooting to wake up your parents?

Hooting meaning honking the car horn I presume.

Naw, just make loud owl noises.

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This was drilled into me by my mom. I can't imagine ever driving away while someone is fumbling for their keys and not yet safely inside.

1.2k points·3 months ago

Do people not sort the key situation before they're even approaching the front door?

Am I just super over cautious?

You're not alone. I live in an apartment that you have to enter a code to get in the front door, and I'm three flights upstairs, I always have my keys out before I even get to the coded door

Plus you can hold it like a little dagger and be ready to stab if you need to

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I back my car into my spot at work so I can gun it and get out of there slightly faster when my day is done.

2.7k points·3 months ago

Catholics all learned this trick when going to church. You get there 2 minutes before everyone else does and get a good spot by the exit of the lot, and back in to the best spot. When mass is over, you can make it to brunch before the brunch rush. Saves you time leaving church and waiting for brunch (you good tho cuz the jesus crackers and wine are holding you over)

390 points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

In my family, this move is known as "Beating the Baptists." Specifically because one time my aunt was trying to rush us along to Sunday brunch and she yelled that "we gotta beat the Baptists!" Edited to add: We lived in a small town, so it was basically us and the Baptist church down the street vying for brunch at a few restaurants around town. Hence the specificity of "the Baptists." Now we live in a much larger city with lots of denominations, but we still call getting the good spot and getting out fast "Beating the Baptists" because we think it's funny.

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Amen.

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Cooking. When I decided to start cooking my own food I became significantly healthier and happier. It saves a shitload of money and it's an attractive skill to have.

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917 points·3 months ago

Opening a condom.

1.4k points·3 months ago

I would say putting it on is probably more important

Well if you puncture the condom while opening it then all the time you take putting it won't mean nothing.

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Comment deleted3 months ago(43 children)

I know! I wanted to take a detour the other day to the park. It was so beautiful.

My partner kept screaming from the back of the truck about "get to the ER!" and "he's having a seizure!" The patient wasn't much better. Just threw a fit. Some people just don't get it.

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Oral Sex

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1.3k points·3 months ago

The hero we need

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Flossing

Years ago, I got sick of being railed on by my dentist for not flossing. So I decided that I would floss every goddamn day between two appointments to see what happened. She noticed.

472 points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

I love that that was your motivation! I'll have to try to adopt that mindset. I don't have the foresight to floss for my own long-term benefit, so why not do it to impress my dentist?!?

I was exactly the same. I also noticed that the hygienist spent a FRACTION of the usual time scraping my teeth with that medieval torture device. I floss like a pro now.

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I love that that was your motivation!

There's no greater motivation in the world than "I'll fucking show them!"

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driving. you can afford to wait a minute or two if your unsure to enter the lane safely.

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Making a to-do list

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251 points·3 months ago·edited 3 months ago

This might sound like an odd one, but taking the time to google the definition of a word you don't know. A lot of times I'll catch myself reading or hearing a word several times without actually knowing the precise definition. You really start to build your vocabulary and can articulate yourself much more easily.

Edit: grammar

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Wiping.

Are there people who don't wipe? Even when you don't have soft paper available, I will take blood over shit any day.

But there are people who dont wipe very thoroughly.

Had a coworker who would wipe two times and pull up the pants no matter if his ass was clean or not.

Imagine a hot day in an office without air conditioning ...

How do you know this? Were you casually observing one day?

One of those particular hot days i couldnt take it any longer and asked him if he shat himself because that smell came after he went to the bathroom.

Id like to spare you with the details of the conversation that followed this question but he told me that he wipes two times and how that simply had to be enough.

Sounds like a shitty work environment.

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You don't have group poop day in your office?

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bidet life

Hell yes. I fire that bidet water so far up, it quenches my thirst.

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Lubrification before anal.

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Making a good sandwich. You can have a mediocre lunch consisting of meat, mustard, and bread in 15 seconds. Or, in 72 seconds you can have meat, cheese, onion, lettuce, mustard, mayo, olive oil, balsamic, salt, and pepper.

That takes 72 seconds for you? That’s some fancy sandwiching. You’re pretty good.

He works at Subway

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Pursuing your hobbies and personal goals outside of work. I'm only 27 and have seen a lot of people just straight up drop that stuff like it didn't mean anything, but you know it does - because they matter to most people. Spend the extra time so you're not completely dead inside by 30.

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738 points·3 months ago

NSFW?

When that dry booger is bugging you, and it's almost too deep to reach. BUT once you finally get it and the itch dissapears;

Pure BLISS

People who say they don’t pick their noses are fucking liars.

There are times where blowing your nose is just not good enough.

The issue are the people who just...wipe it on walls and stuff. like jesus people, wipe it on a tissue/toilet paper and go wash your damn hands.

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