top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Phyro-Mane 4650 points4651 points  (49 children)

Clean your home before taking a journey/trip. It just sucks to come home after a long day in the car/train/plane and your desired home is a mess. Tidy up at least a bit, wash dirty dishes, do the bed (!!), and you will feel welcome when you return home.

[–]Slatergaunt 517 points518 points  (14 children)

My wife does this because if we die on our trip, she doesn’t want people having to clean our dirty house.

[–]datliddokiddo 4724 points4725 points  (126 children)

Grabbing all empty drinks, trash, jackets out of the car every single time you pull in the driveway so that it stays clean.

[–]Vikingdiapers 8214 points8215 points  (186 children)

Asking questions. I swear 99% of complications in interpersonal difficulties in life are from people being too afraid to step on toes, hurt feelings, or just not taking the time to understand people that all comes from a lack of asking questions and an abundance of assumptions.

[–]batterycrayon 1273 points1274 points  (74 children)

I've mostly stopped doing this on reddit especially because I get sick of people treating all questions as an attempt to disprove their view instead of as a request for information.

[–]InternJedi 206 points207 points  (9 children)

Stopping at red light.

It maybe close to unthinkable for people in the US or Europe to run a red light. But in my home country Vietnam where there are a lot of motorbikes this happens ALL THE TIME.

[–]LolsEUW 8265 points8266 points  (124 children)

Leaving for the bus/train etc a bit earlier so that you don't have to stress in the last second or risk that the bus/train leaves too early

[–]B0PPED 6731 points6732 points  (138 children)

Double checking that a ballistic missile attack is really happening before sending out an alert to a whole state.

[–]Fleetfeathers 1046 points1047 points  (42 children)

Amen. I was shaking for hours afterward. I'm on the mainland, but my parents and siblings are back there. My mom made the decision to not wake up my sisters because she didn't want their last moments to be fear-filled. A mom shouldn't have to make that decision ever

[–]TheOtherQue 411 points412 points  (37 children)

I’m in Australia and my wife’s in Hawaii for a trip - she called to tell me to tell me goodbye and not to wake the kids. An emotional morning.

[–]wannabezen2 226 points227 points  (0 children)

That's heart-breaking....

[–]PeaceLoveHippieness 6423 points6424 points  (118 children)

Ensuring your keys are where you thought you put them. Because you may think they're in your purse. But they may actually be hung up around the bottom of a bar stool in a restaurant that's about to close. Just saying...

[–]kingeryck 757 points758 points  (42 children)

Just have a specific place for everything and put it back where it belongs. Even if you're just tossing things in one certain drawer, you'll always know what drawer they're in. Instead of hunting in the medicine cabinet and the bedroom and the end table etc etc for the nail clippers.. always keep them in the medicine cabinet.

[–]knightofdight 9963 points9964 points  (340 children)

Using a turn signal. It saves lives.

[–]DavidVauhn 3479 points3480 points  (193 children)

I get extremely angry when people switch lanes without using their signal like...no that shit isn't optional.

[–]slaerdx 126 points127 points  (29 children)

Makes me so angry too, especially when they actually turn into another street or parking lot, etc without using their signal. Fuck Florida drivers.

[–]HerrXRDS 132 points133 points  (19 children)

Or you reach a 4 way stop at the same time with the car coming the opposite way. The car wants to turn left but it's not signaling. Even if he would've signaled, you still have priority of the right. So you start moving assuming the guy wants to go straight, at which point he turns left almost crashing into you and you see him doing the WTF are you doing hands while talking on his phone. For a brief moment assault seems like the most reasonable response to what just happened.

[–]laterdude 13.9k points13.9k points  (326 children)

Removing valuables from your car.

[–]Sw429 5596 points5597 points  (251 children)

Also, locking your car doors.

[–]guerrilla_terrorist 2272 points2273 points  (155 children)

Didnt lock my doors this week while parking on driveway of decent area. Got in to find everything gone through and my speaker missing. Could have been much worse and now I learned my lession. People actually do go onto driveways to check for unlocked doors. Dont make my mistake.

[–]cC2Panda 865 points866 points  (43 children)

Someone stole an ice scraper from my car once. I noticed my car had been rummaged through but as a 17 year old boy at the time I didn't have much valuable, except that I guess.

[–]OgreAggressiveShrek 1885 points1886 points  (29 children)

Teen burglars are the best. My grandma had a break-in at her house and she scared two boys about 16-18 off by pointing a hairdryer at them and saying she was going to shoot them

[–]spaghatta111 4854 points4855 points  (125 children)

This might be more specific to me, but I work a sales job and I track all of my revenue. I make revenue in two separate areas, with spreadsheets for each.

My coworkers don't do this. They just rely on management to track all of the revenue that actualizes. While complaining, at the same time, that they don't get paid enough, that they are being shorted on their commission.... But how do they know they're being shorted if they don't even track it?

I go through every sale that I make, as I make them. and then every day, I check to make sure the sale actualized. Then at the end of the month I calculate my total commission, and check it against the incentive check my boss gives me.

This way, if its discrepant, I can point it out. And I can also plan my finances accordingly, so there's no surprises when my commission isn't as great one month.

I have made more money since doing this. Like several hundreds of dollars more every month, because then I can put a strategy into place if there are areas where I see I need to improve. It takes me maybe 10 minutes every day. But my coworkers say they don't have the time, they just want to complain that their check isn't as much as they thought it would be.

[–]tossinthisshit1 1810 points1811 points  (43 children)

also helps for moving into new sales positions, too

present those spreadsheets and records in an interview, and people won't question that you know what you're doing.

it's the difference between an amateur and a professional, really. an amateur shows up and tries to hit their quota. a professional knows exactly what they need to do to hit it, and aims to exceed it.

[–]spaghatta111 1022 points1023 points  (35 children)

Literally didn't even think about that. Thanks!

Of course I might have to clean it up a bit. Things like "pain in the ass old guy from December who keeps trying to get discounts" probably won't look great as part of a sales portfolio

[–]deioped 196 points197 points  (14 children)

It would if you told them that you're an honest guy who's great with customers.

[–]originalcousin 16.4k points16.4k points  (420 children)

Brushing your teeth

[–]Pew___ 6012 points6013 points  (151 children)

Nothing better than fresh breath.

Actually maybe having teeth is pretty good too.

[–]sarah-xxx 6712 points6713 points  (120 children)

Having no teeth :

Pros : You don't need to bruth your teeth, give great blowjobs.

Cons : You can't eat thtuff.

[–]NotADrug-Dealer 2564 points2565 points  (24 children)

Pros: You won't bite your tongue ever again

Cons: You won't bite anything ever again

Edit: My most upvoted comment is a reply to a porn star. Nice.

[–]32lbSlug 2701 points2702 points  (52 children)

Cleaning wile you cook, especially if you live alone. Most times I'll have everything cleaned and put away, and leftover containers portioned out before I start eating. Things wash off easier right away, and most recipes have enough down time to finish everything (though I have occasionally had to microwave my own meal).

Heck, just cleaning in general, actually. Doing a little every day stops it from building up to the point where it seems like a monumental task you keep putting off.

[–]VictorBlimpmuscle 14.0k points14.0k points x3 (260 children)

Calling an older relative just to say hi and see how they’re doing - it only takes a few minutes, but it means the world to them to hear from you.

[–]derawin07 6951 points6952 points  (106 children)

Change minutes to hours for my relatives, lol.

[–]TerkeySoop 2587 points2588 points  (86 children)

The ol' minnesota goodbye.

[–]aibaron 922 points923 points  (57 children)

I think this originated from us not wanting to have to leave the comfort of indoors to go outside in the checks thermometer 4°F (-16°C) weather. Then we just never figured out how to quicken goodbye time and that tends to be the majority of our time together.

Well, I'll be going now. Did you hear about the Vikes?

[–]TheOneTrueGod69 111 points112 points  (6 children)

You just need to teach people the "Irish goodbye". When you're ready to leave, you just leave and don't say anything to anybody.

[–]Retroactive_Spider 2289 points2290 points  (57 children)

"a few minutes" my ass. If I call any relative except my brother, I can expect to be on the phone for 2 hours, minimum.

[–]aroger21 543 points544 points  (34 children)

I have the opposite problem. My grandmother is notoriously difficult to have a conversation with, especially on the phone. She gifted us a very generous check for Christmas and when I called to thank her offer to take her to lunch, she kind of ignored it, told me she understood I must be busy, and rushed me off the phone.

This was nice when I was a teenager and didn't realize how lucky I was to have any grandparents at all (she's now my only one), but now it's a little hurtful lol. She's always been this way and she ain't about to change in her 80's.

[–]LeMoofinateur 154 points155 points  (9 children)

I called my aunt, just to say hi and see how she was doing, and she proper rushed me off the phone after 2 minutes, like "yeah so, I'll let you go anyway, take care, god bless, bye bye bye" so I just thought, okay, rude, but maybe she was busy or something. She called my mum to say how lovely it was to hear from me and how nice it was that I thought of her. She just doesn't do long phone calls I guess.

[–]LucidOutwork 663 points664 points  (13 children)

Parents too. What I would give to be able to pick up the phone and call my dad or mom. I wish I had called them more when I could.

[–]Maleficus1234 15.6k points15.6k points  (185 children)

Cleaning as you go.

[–]Rombl 4504 points4505 points  (107 children)

Want to add this is especially true when cooking.

I am always using the time while the food is heating/simmering/etc. to go ahead and wash the prep dishes/cutting board/knives/measuring utensils/etc. and even clean the counter so that when the food is ready, you really only have to clean the pots/pans and the dishes you ate on.

Huge time saver and for me it makes the meal more relaxing knowing I don't have a mess waiting for me in the kitchen.

Now I just have to apply this to the rest of my house since my wife can't understand why I don't!

[–]youre_a_burrito_bud 546 points547 points  (31 children)

Such a terrific habit!

The very first thing I do when about to cook is wash my hands

Second is fill the sink with dish soap and hot water

[–]Skeeter_BC 159 points160 points  (6 children)

You fill the sink so you can soak your utensils for at least a week right?

[–]adamrocks84 18.6k points18.6k points  (400 children)

Working safely. It only takes one second for something bad to happen to you and change your life forever. Leave from work the same way you came to work.

[–]w3woody 1302 points1303 points  (135 children)

I'm always surprised checklists aren't more of a thing in most workplaces. (Check lists are what pilots use in aircraft to make sure everything has been properly checked and set prior to takeoff.)

[–]AerieC 1218 points1219 points  (41 children)

(Check lists are what pilots use in aircraft to make sure everything has been properly checked and set prior to takeoff.)

Surgeons, too. Using a simple checklist has HUGE benefits to rates of infection and other complications.


Pronovost discovered why. In a study of 100 Michigan hospitals, he found that, 30 percent of the time, surgical teams skipped one of these five essential steps: washing hands; cleaning the site; draping the patient; donning surgical hat, gloves, and gown; and applying a sterile dressing. But after 15 months of using Pronovost’s simple checklist, the hospitals “cut their infection rate from 4 percent of cases to zero, saving 1,500 lives and nearly $200 million,” Gawande told reporters.

And it's not just safety. I work with IT and manufacturing, and it's absurd how costly simple missed steps can be that are resolved by just using a super simple checklist.

[–]lespaulstrat2 20.9k points20.9k points  (340 children)

Leave your house early enough so you aren't trying to make up time on the road.

[–]PM_ME_YOUR_FUNNY 2434 points2435 points  (80 children)

I realized this by way of complaining about slow traffic to a coworker. Apparently I'd done this a couple of times before as one day she said "the same again today?". It dawned on me that being in a rush was my problem, not the traffics. I started leaving earlier and it's one of the best things I ever did. No more pissed of morning runs to work, plus I get there on time.

[–]G-RAWHAM 561 points562 points  (9 children)

That's one of my favorite things--- realizing a flaw in your character, recognizing, and then addressing the issue to improve yourself as a human person. Too many people are incapable of this, so good job and thanks for sharing!!

[–]taco_bellis 4499 points4500 points  (147 children)

Nah it's easier to just lay on the horn before the light even turns green, yell at people driving responsibly and then pass them on the shoulder

[–]Protek_Ur_Neck 1828 points1829 points  (102 children)

The light turned green .003 seconds ago why the fuck are you not moving! Now you're exactly the reason I'm late and has nothing to do with my bad planning so I'm going to be upset and yell at you the whole time I'm behind you.

[–]Scrappy_Larue 7950 points7951 points  (146 children)

Pre-flight check on an airplane, including weather ahead.

[–]ZXZ939 1554 points1555 points  (59 children)

And double and triple checking to make sure your wheels are down and locked before landing. Saw a pilot skid down the runway once with his landing gear up and decided then and there that would never be me.

[–]youmeanddougie 9607 points9608 points  (219 children)

This is gonna sound lame but...

...hugging someone until they are ready to let go

Edit: holy shit didn’t expect this to blow up this big. Thanks for all the responses and the gold... whomever you may be.

[–]M2mky 3154 points3155 points  (131 children)

What do you do if they're doing the same thing? You could end up stuck hugging forever both thinking damn the other one must really need a hug.

[–]youmeanddougie 2286 points2287 points  (109 children)

A couple friends tried to outlast me... I always win.

There was a ask reddit thread about a year ago or so that asked, “whats the worst thing about being single” and one of the top answers was the lack of physical contact.

I’m single right now so thats my secret. I never want the hug to end because I’m not sure when I’m gonna get the next one. 😉

Edit: had to change “were” to “was” because it was driving me crazy

[–]star_hugs 479 points480 points  (12 children)

Lol that happened to me. A friend hugged me, and I didn’t even realize that I was drifting off into comfort until she kind of held my arms to pull away🤭

[–]PM_me_trifles 93 points94 points  (5 children)

Yep. Totally worth the extra time. I hug my little boy til he tells me "I've had enough cuddles" and he wriggles free.

[–]Grizlatron 2741 points2742 points  (60 children)

Changing the bed sheets, even if you're tired. Love when everything feels so crisp and clean!

[–]Shielder 1266 points1267 points  (25 children)

Nothing worse than coming home late after a hard day to find that arsehole past you stripped the bed but didn't put the clean sheets on. Selfish prick.

[–]LisaPK 110 points111 points  (2 children)

God i hate it if i come home from work and just want to chill in bed for a few minutes and want to watch something... and then there is no bed sheet... feels like the most exhausting activity possible

[–]anessa_vay 19.7k points19.7k points  (863 children)

Putting your seatbelt on. I've always worn mine but I was in a serious accident about 15 years ago where I have no doubt my seatbelt saved my life. I don't ever get in a car without putting my seatbelt on first thing.

[–]LolsEUW 3180 points3181 points  (129 children)

It is also worth mentioning that not wearing a seatbelt could harm others in the car as well since your body could fly right at them.

[–]confusedash 2599 points2600 points  (72 children)

I wish more people understood this. "Put your seatbelt on."

" no I don't care if I die/I'm a good driver."

"I don't want your 200 lb body flying into me and the other passengers."

[–]CaffeineFiend72 1415 points1416 points  (24 children)

"I don't care if I die"

Uh, do you also not care if you lose a limb or get brain damage or become paralyzed for life? Car accidents are rarely instant death vs perfect health

[–]confusedash 160 points161 points  (15 children)

I always say "I'd rather be strapped in and risk the whiplash than get my fat self stuck half in half out of the windshield."

I was in an accident where I hit a pole head on at about 55mph. My seat belt didn't lock up so I hit the steering wheel with my chest and the steering column with my legs. I took a cut to the neck from the belt. But I was still in the car. Had I been ejected it would've likely been fatal.

[–]Pew___ 5718 points5719 points  (348 children)

My cousin was in a car accident with her boyfriend a few years ago. She died, boyfriend survived because he was the only one wearing his seatbelt.

I don't get in a car without wearing it; and if you don't want to wear your seatbelt in my car, you're fucking walking.

edit: holy shit are there some lucky people around. Yes, I get that sometimes people are saved by not wearing one; but more often than not, your seatbelt is going to save your life rather than trap you in flaming wreckage etc. Take the time to wear it.

[–]boatsyourfloat 2436 points2437 points  (188 children)

This is a rule I have in my car. The car doesn't move until everyone has their seatbelt on.

[–]in8bits 1710 points1711 points  (137 children)

Here in Australia it’s the law. If a passenger isn’t wearing a seatbelt it’s not [edit: not only] them who gets fined, it’s [also] the driver. So yeah, wear it or GTFO. Not that I’ve ever had anybody refuse to wear one.

[–]sk8rrchik 1193 points1194 points  (43 children)

When I started driving my brothers would get so mad that I demanded they'd put their seat belt on before I went anywhere. One time I got so fed up with my littlest brother whining about the seat belt that I swerved around (when I was much more experienced) to scare him and throw him around the car a bit. He never bitched about it again.

[–]CrashFiveSeven 1014 points1015 points  (26 children)

My friends dad used to do seatbelt checks when he was driving his van. In the parking lot he slammed on the gas and then the brakes and looked for who flew out the window. Everyone wore their seatbelts with him.

[–]DrewsephA 876 points877 points  (19 children)

looked for who flew out the window.

Wait what now

[–]Random_Internets 763 points764 points  (7 children)

Sometimes he would even back up over them to really drive home the point

[–]Cloud_Fish 65 points66 points  (15 children)

This all the way. I was giving my parents and 2 of their friends a lift to a restaurant and I asked if everyone had their seatbelts on, they said yes, but I was 99% sure my mums friend hadn't, so I got up to about 15 on the road we live on, and slammed on my breaks, my mum, dad, and the friends husband all stopped and my mums friend headbutted the back of my front passenger seat, not TOO hard, but enough to make my point.

My mum tried to go apeshit at me but I shut that shit down straight away. If you get in my fucking car, where I'm responsible, and lie to my face about wearing your seatbelt after I specifically asked you to, you either get the seatbelt on or you get the fuck out of my car. I don't give a fuck who you are.

[–]arctic_arcanum 277 points278 points  (4 children)

I've been in one crash and the seatbelts definitely saved my life and the lives of the rest of the people in the car too. Because of that, if I'm the driver, I won't move until everyone has their seatbelts on.

[–]reddit_is_groupthink 316 points317 points  (53 children)

I don’t get this either. It takes 2 seconds.

[–]shit_m_lady 3561 points3562 points  (340 children)

I take the time to heat milk up on the stove when I make hot chocolate. It’s so much smoother and my family agrees it’s better that way but they still microwave hot water because it’s quicker.

[–]RecentlyRefurbished 5496 points5497 points  (132 children)

My wife was surprised that I use milk in my hot cocoa. Apparently she uses water. I knew that was a thing, but you don’t expect it from the people you love.

Edit: yes we are still together.

[–]Lilacsinharlem 1445 points1446 points  (50 children)


[–]Big_Al_SixtySixtyOne 869 points870 points  (41 children)


Nobody ever asks "Hey, want some warm chocolate flavored water?"

[–]InBellows 4369 points4370 points  (72 children)

Prepping the following day's meals. I eat like a Hobbit and will pack breakfast, morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack. I don't overeat or get lightheaded during the day because everything is already figured out. So worth the extra time in the evening. EDIT: For all you LOTR fans, I realize I don't eat EXACTLY like a Hobbit. No second breakfast, elevensies, etc. My point being, I eat similar to a Hobbit, meaning frequent meals.

[–]Rombl 1261 points1262 points  (23 children)

While I don't always do it the day before, I will do this in the morning.

Being diabetic, I find it easier to control my snacking and blood sugar if I cut up and portion celery, apples, etc. and that way I can just grab the container and not have to worry about eating too much. Bonus is I have lost about 20 lbs over the course of a year doing this!

[–]InBellows 221 points222 points  (11 children)

That's fantastic! It makes your day 10x easier.

[–]odnadevotchka 173 points174 points  (0 children)

I second this as an emotional eater. If I plan ahead a little bit the night before, it is so much easier to keep my cravings in check and reach for healthier options.

[–]RonPolyp 1009 points1010 points  (74 children)


[–]terdsie 244 points245 points  (30 children)

Don't forget Try Out.

Potential energy may be stored so, after locking and tagging, take the extra moment and try it to see if it works.

At work, I'll unplug a grinder before changing the disc, but I hit the trigger before touching the disc. When I change a light fixture, I flip the breaker and then I try the lightswitch a few times to be sure that it's off.

[–]Niko422 2020 points2021 points  (65 children)

Spending time with your kids.

[–]PIP_SHORT 3310 points3311 points  (17 children)

Why the hell are you spending time with my kids?

[–]Bluedime777 1950 points1951 points  (73 children)

Studying before a test.

I'm looking at you eighth grade me

[–]Aayin 2221 points2222 points  (45 children)

Playing with a kid or animal. Even doing it for a mere five minutes brightens human existence.

[–]sharklops 558 points559 points  (16 children)

Thinking before speaking/texting/tweeting etc. In particular, asking yourself what result you are hoping to achieve by doing so. If it's just to make yourself feel better or to make someone else feel worse, then don't do it.

[–]purpldevl 467 points468 points  (9 children)

My grandpa had been in the hospital with complications from a ruptured tumor since December. He had an infection spread through his body, and after being in Critical Care for over a week was cleared to go home and be taken care of by hospice to make his remaining time comfortable and manageable.

My mom and I were at the hospital with him all afternoon Wednesday, and we were upset because the hospice care was taking much longer to get the house ready than they had originally said.

We were there for about three hours longer, just sitting and chatting with him, only the three of us in his room, waiting for the hospice to give the thumbs up to take him home.

Those three hours we had together seemed to drag because he was so excited to get home and see his dogs and my grandma, so he was getting fidgety. We shared laughs, though, and it was great.

We got him home, and he passed within two hours.

Looking back, I'm so happy that we had those extra hours to spend with him. I'm so glad that we had every single second that we had to wait for hospice to set his bed up.

[–]Merry_Pippins 618 points619 points  (3 children)

Little: rinsing out your dishes after you eat.

Bigger: spending time with your loved ones.

[–]Wheredidthefuckgo 2970 points2971 points  (169 children)

Running the tap a few seconds before filling your glass.



To get the still water out of the 1 meter or so of pipe between the circulated pipe and the tap. This results in cleaner, cooler water.

Edit 2: This page from the HSE (kind of like the UK version of OSHA) goes into stagnant water in pipes about half way down. I just did it because it made the water taste better, didn't realise it actually made the water safer too.

Edit 3: No the water isn't wasted, it goes into a bowl that goes on the garden, into the washing up, or on household plants.

[–]derawin07 1572 points1573 points  (52 children)

Or getting in the shower.

My aunt collects the cold water in a bucket to put on her garden.

[–]TestaRossa95 631 points632 points  (19 children)


[–]derawin07 750 points751 points  (17 children)

We also live in Australia, so drought and water restrictions.

[–]nurayn 249 points250 points  (10 children)

Same problem in South Africa so I’ve started doing this too

[–]vaguerant64 1236 points1237 points  (42 children)

Toasting the bun/bread for a burger or sandwich. It's so much better and really IS worth it.

You owe it to yourself, because you're worth it.

[–]MultiTasker33 12.7k points12.7k points  (377 children)

Cooking pizza rolls in the oven instead of the microwave. Will wait extra every time.

Edit: my top comment is about pizza rolls. I couldn’t be more proud. Shout out to Totinos! Fellow oven users, I appreciate your support...and thanks for the cooking tips!

[–]roghtenmcbugenbargen 1353 points1354 points  (72 children)

This applies to just about everything

[–]blong4133 1949 points1950 points  (161 children)

Try them in an air fryer! Started cooking them that way for my little boy and now my wife and I are hooked on them again.

[–]IAmNotKevinDurant_35 1720 points1721 points  (42 children)

Are those like cornballers but safe?

[–]pierreor 1130 points1131 points  (22 children)

Everyone is microwaving and airfrying and cornholing except Buster

[–]smallerthanme 309 points310 points  (43 children)

How am I approaching 40 and just now learning about this wondrous device? If I'd had it in college I might still be physically stuck in my dorm.

[–]tacojohn48 233 points234 points  (36 children)

My problem with the air fryer is that foods don't come with prep instructions for an air fryer. I have to guess at what temperature and time to use.

[–]justmoreredditors 11.5k points11.5k points  (425 children)

Kissing your SO good bye in the morning.

[–]cgvet9702 1366 points1367 points  (76 children)

I'm a single dad. My kids are older and I leave for work before they get up for school. I always wake them to say goodbye because you never know.

[–]magratheansun 1810 points1811 points  (51 children)

The last thing my dad said to me before he died was "I'm going to work, I'll see you later. I love you". You're right, you really never know. You're a good dad.

Edit: This blew up while I was away, y'all are fantastic.

Edit 2: I've read through all the comment replies to this and they are intense and touching, I just dont know what to say. I've never had this type of reaction on Reddit before and I wish I could hug you guys or knit something for each of you. Y'all be good, and love your loved ones

[–]PineToot 206 points207 points  (12 children)

The last thing my dad said to me was “I can’t tell you how unsatisfying it is to be working a job you don’t love”... that really fucked me up a long time. Now I always say “Goodbye, I love you, be safe” to my significant other before they leave in the morning.

[–]lakospakos 5929 points5930 points  (241 children)

My SO leaves almost everyday before I'm even awake. He kisses me bye even if I'm not coherent enough to remember it happening. It's one of my favorite parts if the day.

[–]chronically_trill 739 points740 points  (16 children)

I usually do this as well, but one time I spooked her and she headbutted me in the face.

[–]lakospakos 189 points190 points  (0 children)

Worth it

[–]noodlesquad 107 points108 points  (2 children)

Lmao. A similar thing happened to my SO as well. He came over to my side of the bed for a kiss and then started drinking out of my squeezable water bottle. There wasn't much water in it so it made a super loud sound. It was like 4AM and I opened my eyes to see some dark figure standing over me holding something. Needless to say I screamed in terror, and he's still traumatized to this day. 😂 At least this wasn't as physically painful as yours :p

[–]frogsgoribbit737 1051 points1052 points  (11 children)

Mine too! I usually wake up just enough that I don't know what is happening, but remember later. He stopped doing it for awhile, but I mentioned that I missed it. He apparently thought that I hadn't known he was doing it.

[–]lakospakos 500 points501 points  (7 children)

It's just such a nice reminder that you are loved.

[–]sonnyboyk91 2557 points2558 points  (158 children)

Mine does this to me too and I started reciprocating the action. Occasionally I’ll catch him smiling in his sleep, so even if he’s not awake he is either having a good dream or is somewhat aware of what’s going on :)

[–]esoteric_enigma 241 points242 points  (3 children)

A former professor, now good friend, of mine who is a sex therapist said his best piece of simple advice for a relationship is to always kiss your SO whenever you're leaving or coming back to them, no matter what. Even if you're coming to argue with them, that little action reminds you that you care about this person and sets a better mood.

[–]acid_shampoo 1960 points1961 points  (167 children)

Foreplay! Unless you are going for the quickie, good foreplay is a must. I do not understand people who get in and out in 5 min.

[–]rondell_jones 1121 points1122 points  (7 children)

5 minutes?? What are we running a marathon here?

[–]luvgun90 1329 points1330 points  (58 children)

Here's a tip, don't put it in until she is practically begging for you to

[–]TheVoiceOfRiesen 1582 points1583 points  (20 children)

"Would you please just put it in so you can go already".

[–]NobleCeltic 189 points190 points  (8 children)

Yep, sounds like my wife.

"Fine, just put it in so we can get this over with."

[–]anessa_vay 385 points386 points  (10 children)

Seriously a huge difference. I think there's a time for a quickie but it's not every time. It makes everything so much more enjoyable, especially as a woman.

[–]sneksarefun 8268 points8269 points  (219 children)

Lining up your socks on your feet so you don't spend all day with the heel part off on the side and the toe seam annoying your toes.

[–]Pew___ 2574 points2575 points  (99 children)

As a side to this.

Going through your socks and throwing out ones that don't fit and/or have holes in.

edit: it's fucking "an aside" and I'm mad at myself for getting it wrong; but can't bring myself to deceive everyone by ninja editing.

[–]BenjamimaPancake 1248 points1249 points  (34 children)

Double up on socks with holes in different locations so that each sock covers the other's holes.

[–]turbodmac 1044 points1045 points  (9 children)

Sir, I would give you gold, however I need to buy new socks.

Edit- why thank you stranger! May your little piggies stay forever warm and dry.

[–]MultiMedic 366 points367 points  (7 children)

Do people not do this? Heathens!

[–]CHR1S_H4NSEN 160 points161 points  (7 children)

Making sure the jackstands are secure and the wheels are choked before you get under any vehicle.

[–]Stoic_Stranger 1559 points1560 points  (78 children)

Cable management when building a PC.

[–]Judge_Bredd2 3572 points3573 points  (239 children)

I back my car into my spot at work so I can gun it and get out of there slightly faster when my day is done.

[–]iCan20 2636 points2637 points  (82 children)

Catholics all learned this trick when going to church. You get there 2 minutes before everyone else does and get a good spot by the exit of the lot, and back in to the best spot. When mass is over, you can make it to brunch before the brunch rush. Saves you time leaving church and waiting for brunch (you good tho cuz the jesus crackers and wine are holding you over)

[–]YourDadsNewGF 374 points375 points  (5 children)

In my family, this move is known as "Beating the Baptists." Specifically because one time my aunt was trying to rush us along to Sunday brunch and she yelled that "we gotta beat the Baptists!" Edited to add: We lived in a small town, so it was basically us and the Baptist church down the street vying for brunch at a few restaurants around town. Hence the specificity of "the Baptists." Now we live in a much larger city with lots of denominations, but we still call getting the good spot and getting out fast "Beating the Baptists" because we think it's funny.

[–]TheUnbent 229 points230 points  (10 children)

Folding and putting your laundry away right after it's done drying.

[–]taylaj 25.3k points25.3k points  (818 children)

Making sure someone gets into their house/apartment when you drop them off, before driving away.

[–]tea-and-solitude 765 points766 points  (19 children)

When I was college this was really harped on because my freshman year an older girl was drunk and her friends just dropped her off at the end of the night and just drove away and then she ended up falling on the ice outside of her house and nobody found her until morning and she lost her fingers and feet to severe frostbite. So yeah this is 120% worth it every time especially in winter.

[–]derawin07 3917 points3918 points  (192 children)

As someone who is not used to others looking out for her, after a date in a different city a guy walked me to his my car.

I was faffing about doing things in the car, checking my route etc and replying to messages on my phone for about 10 minutes, before I looked around and saw him still waiting there for me to drive off.

I felt really bad.

Edit: to say MY car.

[–]taylaj 1795 points1796 points  (143 children)

Had you started your car? Once the other person's car starts I usually feel comfortable leaving, I also worry it'll seem creepy if I wait too long :/

[–]abe_the_babe_ 262 points263 points  (3 children)

Especially if:

-They're drunk

-It's cold out

-It's night time

[–]pfun4125 921 points922 points  (81 children)

I work at a fun center. Most of our employees are teenage girls. They park out back where there isn't a ton of lights and often leave after dark. I've explained once or twice why I wait by the back door until they actually drive off.

[–]Sonendo 607 points608 points  (58 children)

I'm a small man who has worked in lots of scary dark places.

I tend to forget how frightening they can be for other people.

Generally it's the women who ask for an escort and then it takes me far too long to realize why they'd need one.

For example I walk through a corridor almost daily that is pitch black for 20 feet or so. The building has zero people in it at this time. I've lead other employees into it before and totally forget that it might be creepy to see your boss disappear into the black hallway.

[–]jjfmish 1058 points1059 points  (33 children)

I admittedly used to forget to do this a lot of the time, especially if I was in a rush or it was late and I was really tired.

Long story short, I got locked out of my house for hours in 5 degree (celsius) weather wearing a hoodie, thin sweatpants and slides with socks. I was still living with my parents and we just moved so I didn't know the garage code and we hadn't installed a doorbell yet. Knocking didn't wake my parents up and my phone was dead. I think the only reason I didn't develop hypothermia was because my car was unlocked and a friend of mine had left a jacket in there. It wasn't warm, but it helped.

Eventually, my parents woke up after I alternated between knocking and sleeping/crying in my car for a solid few hours. I've never driven off without making sure that someone was inside since.

Edit: before you think I'm dumb for dressing like that, it was an unseasonably cold day in late April. I didn't realize how cold it would get at night and I didn't think I'd be outside for more than 30 seconds.

[–]TheBoerworsMonster 415 points416 points  (14 children)

Did you try hooting to wake up your parents?

[–]karmahunger 481 points482 points  (7 children)

Hooting meaning honking the car horn I presume.

[–]LucidOutwork 6647 points6648 points  (295 children)

This was drilled into me by my mom. I can't imagine ever driving away while someone is fumbling for their keys and not yet safely inside.

[–]Aksi_Gu 1144 points1145 points  (85 children)

Do people not sort the key situation before they're even approaching the front door?

Am I just super over cautious?

[–]whiskeylady 480 points481 points  (53 children)

You're not alone. I live in an apartment that you have to enter a code to get in the front door, and I'm three flights upstairs, I always have my keys out before I even get to the coded door

[–]oscarfacegamble 468 points469 points  (45 children)

Plus you can hold it like a little dagger and be ready to stab if you need to

[–]brontupistow 274 points275 points  (12 children)

Cooking. When I decided to start cooking my own food I became significantly healthier and happier. It saves a shitload of money and it's an attractive skill to have.

[–]vsal 915 points916 points  (34 children)

Opening a condom.

[–]-eDgAR- 1355 points1356 points  (30 children)

I would say putting it on is probably more important

[–]Coldpiss 385 points386 points  (20 children)

Well if you puncture the condom while opening it then all the time you take putting it won't mean nothing.

[–]Oblivious_Zero 1365 points1366 points  (180 children)


[–]WoollyMuffler 1282 points1283 points  (82 children)

Years ago, I got sick of being railed on by my dentist for not flossing. So I decided that I would floss every goddamn day between two appointments to see what happened. She noticed.

[–]silverwealth 465 points466 points  (26 children)

I love that that was your motivation! I'll have to try to adopt that mindset. I don't have the foresight to floss for my own long-term benefit, so why not do it to impress my dentist?!?

[–]BenKatz88 163 points164 points  (8 children)

I was exactly the same. I also noticed that the hygienist spent a FRACTION of the usual time scraping my teeth with that medieval torture device. I floss like a pro now.

[–]WoollyMuffler 811 points812 points  (10 children)

I love that that was your motivation!

There's no greater motivation in the world than "I'll fucking show them!"

[–]YourLocalSnivy 1346 points1347 points  (37 children)

driving. you can afford to wait a minute or two if your unsure to enter the lane safely.

[–]GauchoLyfe 248 points249 points  (21 children)

This might sound like an odd one, but taking the time to google the definition of a word you don't know. A lot of times I'll catch myself reading or hearing a word several times without actually knowing the precise definition. You really start to build your vocabulary and can articulate yourself much more easily.

Edit: grammar

[–]my_name_is_gato 1182 points1183 points  (185 children)


[–]TheWorldisFullofWar 873 points874 points  (112 children)

Are there people who don't wipe? Even when you don't have soft paper available, I will take blood over shit any day.

[–]Ahnenglanz 940 points941 points  (86 children)

But there are people who dont wipe very thoroughly.

Had a coworker who would wipe two times and pull up the pants no matter if his ass was clean or not.

Imagine a hot day in an office without air conditioning ...

[–]SexlessNights 877 points878 points  (60 children)

How do you know this? Were you casually observing one day?

[–]Ahnenglanz 801 points802 points  (46 children)

One of those particular hot days i couldnt take it any longer and asked him if he shat himself because that smell came after he went to the bathroom.

Id like to spare you with the details of the conversation that followed this question but he told me that he wipes two times and how that simply had to be enough.

[–]earfffffffffff 422 points423 points  (10 children)

You don't have group poop day in your office?

[–]markevens 305 points306 points  (38 children)

bidet life

[–]Pokemon_Hoe 619 points620 points  (13 children)

Hell yes. I fire that bidet water so far up, it quenches my thirst.

[–]turtle8889 1645 points1646 points  (108 children)

Making a good sandwich. You can have a mediocre lunch consisting of meat, mustard, and bread in 15 seconds. Or, in 72 seconds you can have meat, cheese, onion, lettuce, mustard, mayo, olive oil, balsamic, salt, and pepper.

[–]Scottie7372 1177 points1178 points  (28 children)

That takes 72 seconds for you? That’s some fancy sandwiching. You’re pretty good.

[–]baconfan 59 points60 points  (4 children)

Lubrification before anal.

[–]BoazM 730 points731 points  (50 children)


When that dry booger is bugging you, and it's almost too deep to reach. BUT once you finally get it and the itch dissapears;


[–]Transfusiionz 753 points754 points  (36 children)

People who say they don’t pick their noses are fucking liars.

There are times where blowing your nose is just not good enough.

[–]Hahonryuu 323 points324 points  (27 children)

The issue are the people who just...wipe it on walls and stuff. like jesus people, wipe it on a tissue/toilet paper and go wash your damn hands.