Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts
4.8k
Archived

You wake up to an Emergency Alert System Announcement: "Ballistic Missile Threat Inbound to (your location)." What do you do?

2.3k comments
89% Upvoted
This thread is archived
New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast

I relax and die with dignity because I live near one of the juiciest targets in Russia.

Is that bullshit?

11 more replies

10 more replies

Why are they wasting a nuke on NZ?

Preemptive strike against the Hobits so thy can't call for eagles?

They don't have eagles on continuous airborne alert?

Operation Eternal Eagle.

6 more replies

7 more replies

409 points · 6 months ago

How do they even know where it is? It's not on any of the maps.

137 points · 6 months ago

That's why they're nuking it. They found it, it wasn't on any of their maps, and they figured it must be a secret US location or something.

In North Korea, there are no errors on Official Maps. So the only way to fix it....

1 more reply

1 more reply

6 more replies

4 more replies

131 points · 6 months ago

At least it'll solve the housing crisis.

Can't have a housing crisis if you blow up all the houses

4 more replies

9 more replies

Piss off nuke!

1 more reply

43 more replies

3.9k points · 6 months ago

Wonder when my country put in an emergency alert system for a minute, maybe google it, ask why anyone would be attacking where i live, then die in a fireball probably.

Original Poster1.4k points · 6 months ago

This just happened in Hawaii. Couldn't find anything on Google, thought maybe I hallucinated or dreamt it. Then a friend calls and asks me if I hears about it. DOD.Hawaii.gov wouldn't load. I made some coffee, thought about my life insurance, what would happen if we went to war (I'm in the navy), got dressed and planned to start watching 'What Dreams May Come' (it's been on my list to watch since Robin Williams passed over a year ago). Then the friend texted saying it was a false alarm. Making me really think about the nature of fear. I don't think of myself as being afraid of death. And, I should have been able to dismiss it, when I couldn't find any news on it. I typically get automated calls from my base for any emergency alert so I should have known that one little push message was probably an error. And in the front of my mind I think I did know. But that didn't matter. The possibility that the threat was real and the inability to really imagine the fallout and devastation made it hard to suspend disbelief.

313 points · 6 months ago

Just after i wrote the post i read about the false alarm. Scares quite a few people. Being in Hawaii you probably the most at risk from N.Korea as well so its in peoples minds.

First Guam, then Hawaii as far as US targets go

8 more replies

So did you watch the movie? Or did you put it off since you weren’t facing your imminent demise?

Original Poster260 points · 6 months ago

Just finished it. Great movie.

44 points · 6 months ago

That movie definitely holds a different meaning before and after his death, especially since his was a suicide which is dealt with in that film.

2 more replies

4 more replies

I’m in DEP for the Navy right now. What is something you wish you’d have known before you got in?

Also, I’ve been wondering how normal life will be. I will be an AC so that might be different from anyone’s life that’s assigned to a ship. Is your every day and hour consumed by the Navy or do you have a pretty normal kind of life? I just don’t know how it’s going to be.

Original Poster54 points · 6 months ago

Boot camp is going to be a joke so long as you go in with Full Metal Jacket in mind.

Other than that, it really depends on the type of person you are, especially since I'm a submariner and know nothing of your rating or surface life.

16 more replies

29 more replies

Maybe write a list of 10 or so things that you need to do once it’s decided it’s actually happening. You seem like you were pretty collected, but this way you can make sure everything is set.

25 more replies

20 more replies

8.1k points · 6 months agoGilded1 · edited 6 months ago

Probably call my parents, swear when they don't answer the home phone because why the fuck do you pay for something you don't use. Text my mom asking her to pick up after I call her cell phone three times, she doesn't. Call my dad twice and ask him why mom isn't answering her phone. My dad asks her as she's SITTING RIGHT THERE. I ask him why they didn't answer the home phone and he says they didn't hear it. So I ask why the fuck he could hear his cell phone but not the house phone?

And he tells me they're watching The Avengers which makes me mad because if they're watching the TV then they absolutely saw the caller ID on screen. So I tell him to answer the phone next time because I'm literally about to die.

And then he says "Hi literally about to die I'm dad."

And then I kill myself before the missle can.

Edit: Thanks for the gold, stranger! And I'm glad to hear about all of my secret siblings being blatantly ignored like I always am. Also if it makes anyone feel better, I'm my parents only kid so it makes the sting of being ignored that much worse lol.

So...what did you do today

Not this exact scenario... but this exact scenario.

Eek, a ghost!

25 points · 6 months ago

This is almost exactly my parents on 9-11! I was at work when I heard about the first plane & I called my parents to see if they heard the news. Mom said they just finished breakfast & were reading the paper & ready for their nap so call later cause any important news would be in the paper. She hung up. I called dad on his cell but got his VM. Called mom back, she said rudely, WHAT? We are trying to nap, this better be important......,MOM put dad on the phone! Mom pease! Now, ok? Mom said he can’t find his cell. I said mom—- put him on YOUR cell we are on right now.... wait, honey he is in the bathroom now. Call back later.. hey mom, just turn the TV on any channel other than food network ok? I’ll be out playing in traffic.

16 points · 6 months ago

They take a nap after breakfast? Are you parents cats?

1 more reply

2 more replies

3 more replies

1 more reply

Holy shit, how long have Mom and Dad been keeping the existence of additional siblings from us? Did you know about me?

2 more replies

210 points · 6 months ago

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read.

And a very accurate scenario

So like.... I think I find my brother or sister here on reddit.. or some kind of alternate universe because his is EXACTLY what would happen to me.

2 more replies

I think we might have the same parents...

1 more reply

36 more replies

1.5k points · 6 months ago

"well I'm definitely not dying with my pants on"

720 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Get in a last minute panic wank. If you're a guy, you statistically have time.

Edit: I get it, plenty of women would have time too. It was a joke about men not lasting long.

Yeah, I want to be like Bruce Willis and die hard.

117 points · 6 months ago

I’d be going at it with lotion AND my pocket pussy. The whole 9 yards

9 yards is a pretty long pocket pussy.

2 more replies

3 more replies

4 more replies

The adrenaline should speed things up for a death wank.

1 more reply

7 more replies

175 points · 6 months ago

“I’m going to jerk off and see who explodes first!”

"I wi"

That's the spirit!

7 more replies

Honestly, I think I would panic for a few seconds and then tell my family how much I love them, because this is the end. I would then cuddle with my kitty for the rest of my life.

Same but with my puppy. I'd feel pretty shitty that she'd die too, such a sweet little dog that shouldn't be affected by this crap..

342 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Dogs don't die. I refuse to believe it.

Dogs never die. They're just missing in action.

ಥ_ಥ

TIL that dogs are like Spartans.

1 more reply

Unexpected Halo

6 more replies

12 more replies

3 more replies

10 more replies

3.2k points · 6 months ago

Go on reddit. Try to cash it in for last minute karma.

I'm about to die in a horrific nuclear holocaust. AMA!

Why aren't you answering our questions, it's been hours now?

We got bamboozled

Time for r/karmacourt

No you got bombboozled.

2 more replies

he ded :(

8 more replies

3 more replies

"EDIT: Wow, this really blew up!"

3 more replies

You may die, but your karma will live on.

Unless the servers also die....

1 more reply

1 more reply

/r/DeadRedditors

"Me in about 5 minutes lol"

12 more replies

Max out all my credit cards buying stuff from Amazon to be delivered to my family in the mainland

640 points · 6 months ago

it was a false alarm

.... Fuck. Now I have to instigate nuclear war

445 points · 6 months ago

The Gang Solves the Amazon Crisis

5 more replies

7 more replies

40 points · 6 months ago

Cancel order

5 more replies

3 more replies

Grab a dust mask, check the wind direction, wait for the blast, then jump in the car if needed and get upwind of that motherfucker. From what little I've read, nuclear attacks are actually quite survivable if you're not vaporized at the epicenter. Most important thing is to avoid the fallout dust.

It has actually been recently discussed in science news how you should absolutely not get into a car in these cases. You're not going to outrun the nuclear fallout (cloud of radiation) and cars offer no protection. Your house offers more protection, though not as good as a bunker.

Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.businessinsider.com/survive-nuclear-attack-fallout-shelter-cars-2017-5

Would the subway system be better than your house?

93 points · 6 months ago

Yes, but less food.

well i mean their sandwhiches are pretty crappy,

4 more replies

1 more reply

Have you seen how many feral ghouls stay in the subway system?!

9 more replies

3 more replies

39 more replies

More importantly, do the thumb check. The thumb check says that if the mushroom cloud isn't as big as your thumb you can probably survive.

[deleted]
593 points · 6 months ago

So people with small thumbs would die?

764 points · 6 months ago

Yes. It's called natural selection

"Bigger thumbs on humans evolved after the First Nuclear War due to that specific trait which afforded bigger thumbed humans a higher likelihood of surviving nuclear blasts."1

1. The American President at the outbreak of the war was one of the first casualties despite surviving the initial attacks due to his generally tiny hands.

3 more replies

1 more reply

Generally speaking small creatures are more vulnerable to toxicity and radiation, so... maybe?

2 more replies

1 more reply

Held at what distance

Arm's length.

7 more replies

107 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

you know the Fallout vault-boy with the thumbs up? he's not giving a thumbs up. he's checking the size of the nuke.

Edit - this may not be true

3 more replies

7 more replies

Pretty sure it's several million times larger than my thumb.

103 points · 6 months ago

But not larger than the power of trigonometry!

4 more replies

6 more replies

23 more replies

11 more replies

1.4k points · 6 months ago

Drive straight to the nearest City because that's probably where it will hit.

me too thanks

3 more replies

[deleted]
66 points · 6 months ago

Good point. If your in the initial blast you'll die quicker

1 more reply

3 more replies

Got 'em

1 more reply

9 more replies

577 points · 6 months ago

Realistically just panic till I die

Comment deleted6 months ago(10 children)

Man I can't imagine how hard you're going to squeeze your kid and wife when they get back

1 more reply

8 more replies

8 more replies

631 points · 6 months ago

I live at a dorm at my school. There is a massive library that goes maybe 5 stories underground. So I pack up some food and water and flee to the library. And then read until I survive or still die.

I heard somewhere that books can actually help absorb some of the radiation so this is an even better plan that you thought!

All that paper makes a thicc barrier between you and the bad shit outside. Combine that with all the concrete and steel (and dirt) from being in a big ass building 70 feet under ground and it sounds like you have a pretty good stopgap bunker. Only problem would be ait quality but at least you would be safer-ish.

4 more replies

3 more replies

[deleted]
108 points · 6 months ago

It's not fair. There was time now!

My favorite episode!

4 more replies

But then your glasses will break, rendering you unable to read anything. Not even large print.

Then, in impotent despair, you'll look to the heavens and quietly say, "This shit's fucked up, yo. It's fucked up."

1 more reply

12 more replies

I'd probably open my bedroom window and tell it to fuck off.

"Local man saves world from apocalypse."

"Local woman saves world from apocalypse."

FTFY.

Your username even gives it away twice lol.

19 more replies

169 points · 6 months ago

"Local man yells at clouds"

92 points · 6 months ago

Local man yells at mushroom cloud.

1 more reply

5 more replies

7 more replies

5 more replies

I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand!

109 points · 6 months ago

the missile quivers before him!

FUCK OFF

1 more reply

1 more reply

1 more reply

How Welsh of you.

12 more replies

Hit snooze like I always do.

4 more replies

I live in Hawaii so this just happened to me. I was about to go to the gym, so I ... didn’t do that. Tried to look up any news about it. Called my boyfriend on the mainland because he knows more preparedness than I do. Tried to figure out what I was going to say to my mom/how to possibly say goodbye. It was really scary.

I'm terribly sorry you had to go through this. I just realised how difficult it must be to think of how to say goodbye to loved ones when there's a threat coming your way, over which you have no control.

6 more replies

2 more replies

366 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Considering Sweden has about 65.000 bomb shelters designed to house a total of 7 million people. I would look up where the closest one to me is and go there.

EDIT: Looked it up, there are 10 bomb shelters on my block. One in the basement of each apartment building. I guess that's an upside to living in a building from the cold war.

EDIT2: If anyone's interested, here's a map of all the bomb shelters: https://msbgis.maps.arcgis.com/apps/webappviewer/index.html?id=7bf1f3f83a374312b1b873637fbfbe1e

92 points · 6 months ago

Hello there our western neighbour! Finally we Finns decided it's good to learn from your example and have built shelters in case of Soviet nuclear invasion. Today there are about shelters for 3.7 million people (total population is almost 5.5M). Like in Sweden, also here it is required by law to build a bomb shelter if the building exceeds certain limits. In Finland if the total living area of apartment buidling exceeds 1200 m2 you are required to include a bomb shelter. This naturally leads to problem in suburban areas where population rely on public shelters as buildings do not exceed 1200 m2.

Personally in case of alert, I would get dressed (it's sunday morning hey!), gather some water containers, medicine and canned food. Then would wake up SO and get to bomb shelter downstairs. I hope there we would find other residents setting up the facilities for water storage and air filtering. There we would stay in dark and melancholy - just like we Finns tend to do outside shelters too.

5 more replies

19 points · 6 months ago

What? Why? I'm not sure Ireland has any...

2 more replies

10 more replies

Go to the bunker in my basement. It's mandatory in my country for everyone to have a bunker.

Fuck man what country you live in?

Sounds like either Switzerland or Israel.

Albania has more bunkers than people iirc

Switzerland according to post history

2 more replies

1 more reply

[deleted]
759 points · 6 months ago

Fucking die.

Same, like what the hell else are you meant to do? I'd attempt to get back to sleep, maybe have a cigarette or something

124 points · 6 months ago

I don't even smoke and i'd have a cigarette. Gonna die anyways.

88 points · 6 months ago

You got a stash of emergency cigarettes? Maybe in a glass cabinet with a sign: "In case of an emergency break glass and light it up"

Fuck that. If I was about to be nuked I'd try shooting up heroin. Might as well die high off your ass ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11 more replies

3 more replies

I quit 2.5 months ago, fuck it one last smoke for me.

Hey, congrats on quitting! May you be rewarded with extra years of not dying in a fiery blast.

3 more replies

1 more reply

7 more replies

1.9k points · 6 months ago

Grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

261 points · 6 months ago

Drink up. The world's about to end.

Well, can't we do anything about it? Like lie on the floor and putting a paper bag on your head?

If you like.

Will it help?

Not at all.

5 more replies

Remember your towel and don’t panic.

3 more replies

1 more reply

75 points · 6 months ago

Don't forget to deal with Phillip

Right. Take car. Go to mum's. Kill Phil ["Sorry!"], grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.

A man of action!

11 more replies

[deleted]
477 points · 6 months ago

"Why the fuck are they nuking Antarctica?"

Are you working at a research station? Because that's awesome. What do you do?

I'm guessing they're just in character for their username

2 more replies

1 more reply

5 more replies

9 more replies

If you look at the FEMA map of likely nuclear targets, you will find that the area I live in has more dots on it than DC. I have looked into it, and I do not have the means to construct a shelter capable of withstanding a nuclear blast on the nearest military facility.

My only saving grace is that I live on an island and there are a lot of boats around. If I ever get around to stockpiling any nuclear protective gear (masks, coveralls, etc.) I could probably barter my way onto a boat and hopefully make it far enough away from land to survive the initial blast. The ocean does not present a strategic threat, but there will most likely be nuclear fallout either from land or from intercepted missiles bursting overhead. I have read that a full-scale nuclear winter will create a massive difference in temperature between land (cold) the ocean (relatively warm) which will result in a coastal windstorm stronger than any hurricane we've ever seen. We will be at sea for a long, long time.

Whoever I have bartered with will most likely be wealthy (because they own a boat large enough to fit a stranger on) and will therefore have family that they will want to protect. These people will probably have extreme difficulties adjusting to a life of deprivation and boredom. We may not have enough radiation equipment to survive the fallout (two weeks). Desalination is a tricky, inefficient process that I'm pretty sure requires a lot of fuel. I believe any fish that we could catch will most likely be irradiated and not safe for consumption. Although they will initially be grateful for the survival equipment I have provided, when supplies run low they will most likely act in the best interest of themselves and their family. Unless we find a place to land, this will most likely mean I will be forced to accept my death (by murder or maroonment at sea) or act in my own self-defense. At present, I would consider the death at my hands of an entire family who have saved my life to be an unthinkable act, but my attitude may change. I wouldn't have made it this far without a strong urge to survive (that may change in consideration of the wholesale destruction of everything and everyone that I have ever loved, most likely) so I would most likely accept marooning over murder if the choice was offered. I would discuss this with the family before conditions deteriorate to that point.

Short of some miraculous rescue by the United States Navy, I will meet my lonely demise a few weeks after the initial impact.

Alternately, if I ever win the lottery, I would purchase a large fortified boat (or ship, I guess), and stock it with a hydroponic lab, desalination facilities, and various creature comforts to drift with my loved ones for a couple years. I imagine if I was really careful about it, I could use wind generators to harvest the extreme winds on the outskirts of the windstorm.

I really hate the ocean, boats, and winter, and I know from experience that my loved ones all make really shitty roommates even when they aren't suffering from extreme nuclear-war induced depression so I imagine I'd succumb to Ocean Madness within months, assuming we weren't overrun by pirates first.

FEMA map of likely nuclear targets

I just looked up a similar map and I love the "fuck you" nuke on the grand canyon.

100 points · 6 months ago

There's a uranium mine in the grand canyon...

The nuclear equivalent of hitting babies in the womb.

4 more replies

11 more replies

This guy's fucking done his homework on this.

3 more replies

23 more replies

I live in Hawaii.

Step 1: Wake up to the alarm... Is this real? My mom got it on her phone too so I didn't just hallucinate it.

Step 2: "What are you supposed to do for a nuclear attack again?" I think something about filling up a bathtub. Tape your windows? Hide under your desk? I don't remember... Begin filling bathtub, realize we have no tub stopper.

Step 3: Do we have a radio? Oh yeah, the car has one. Go outside to car and find a station broadcasting the emergency alert. Learn you are supposed to go underground, or at least inside and away from windows. No one here has a basement and we live in a tiny house.

Step 4: Grab cat, get mom. We empty out the closet in the center of the house and squeeze inside. Try to call other family, calls won't go through. Texts aren't going through either. Type up a few 'last emails' on my phone. Google "radiation poisoning". Looks like a horrible way to die.

This is useful info --- ie calls and texts don't go through (like just about every other major disaster.) So the 67% of people who said they were going to call their moms should do so now, while they can.

10 more replies

Probably go back to sleep.

Unless you have a Fallout Shelter nearby, not much else you can do.

I have the app on my phone but I'm not sure how that helps.

1 more reply

1 more reply

2 more replies

414 points · 6 months ago

Jerk off and see who explodes first.

Very underrated answer, and also the right one

1 more reply

4 more replies

Assume that the council are finally going ahead with stage one of the town's regeneration.

2 more replies

I would first figure out how long I had until the missile reached me, and if there was no way to escape I'd drink a mug of the fancy tea I've been saving for a special occasion, listen to my favorite music and send out communication to the people I love telling them I love them. This question reminds me of the Ray Bradbury story "The Last Night of the World."

"I always imagined people would be screaming in the streets at a time like this."

"I guess not. You don't scream about the real thing."

"Do you know, I won't miss anything but you and the girls. I never liked cities or autos or factories or my work or anything except you three. I won't miss a thing except my family and perhaps the change in the weather and a glass of cool water when the weather's hot, or the luxury of sleeping. Just little things, really. How can we sit here and talk this way?"

"Because there's nothing else to do."

"That's it, of course, for if there were, we'd be doing it. I suppose this is the first time in the history of the world that everyone has really known just what they were going to be doing during the last night."

"I wonder what everyone else will do now, this evening, for the next few hours."

"Go to a show, listen to the radio, watch the TV, play cards, put the children to bed, get to bed themselves, like always."

"In a way that's something to be proud of — like always."

"We're not all bad."

The whole short story is about four pages long, and worth the read. Bradbury had a knack for conveying somber peace in his descriptions of the end of humanity. If the end was inevitable, I believe that's how I would go.

8 more replies

I also live in Hawaii. The weather was absolutely perfect and I was just loving the morning light. When I got the alert I was already on my way to work so I just figured I’d keep on going while looking at the sky and the mountains. I really noticed how much I love being alive and seeing all the beauty of a new day. By the time I got to work and got all the equipment ready for the day the threat had been canceled and I was already getting shit done.

1 more reply

188 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

If it happened in the next month, wonder why my area in the rural Midwest was being targeted. If it happens after that, I imagine the military would have some sort of orders for me.

Really. I’m not afraid of North Korea nuking Ohio. I’m afraid of them aiming for New York or D.C. and missing.

I just laughed absurdly hard at that image.

Some guy in a cornfield in Indiana just looking at the sky and just being really fucking annoyed that NK missed by half a continent.

2 more replies

6 more replies

yeah, i live in a small town in the middle of the desert. Whoever is wasting bombs on us ain't gonna last long anyway due to not having a good strategy

If you have enough nukes to end the world then why not nuke everywhere at once.

4 more replies

44 points · 6 months ago

uhh ND/SD, and Montana are like the primary targets in the event of a nuclear war. only thing more primary would be Norat, and the pentagon.

a massive amount of our nuclear arsenal is storied in the upper Midwest. mostly for security reasons(very few people in the area)

I am referring to the Illinois/Wisconsin border area. Not much of a nuclear arsenal around here, and Rockford is not exactly a prime target.

2 more replies

4 more replies

3 more replies

Probably just chill. We’re all dying so eh, peace

5 more replies

162 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

If it's nuclear

Drive as far as possible away from where the city, military base, factory's as you can as fast as you can. The blast range is on average 1.5-2 miles in area/radius even if you were just walking or slowly jogging within 10 minutes you should be able to get far enough away to prevent immediate death(this is of course you are not at the direct center of the drop/hit/impact). You will now have about an hour to continue to get as far away as possible heading west(it is important to head west as the fallout will likely be moved according to the jet stream which tends to go west to east). If you can get over 60 miles away within an hour you most likely will not die but you'll want to continue to go west until you are at least 250 miles away. If you are caught within the blast range you are most likely going to die due to radiation poisoning which you have very little chance to survive against. You will want to stay out of vehicles or any other metal buildings due to the absorption and subsequent reradiation of radiation which can increase your exposure(this is what I was taught in my various nuclear/chemical weapon attack classes but some people have said it is wrong). Close all vents and turn off the central air/heating to prevent bringing in radioactive particles which will also expose you to more radiation. You'll want to decontaminate yourself if you have uncontaminated resources, which is to shower and scrub as well as remove clothing and throw old ones away. Drinking red wine has shown some ability to slow down the radiation poisoning but it has only shown some promise, there is no cure. Overall it is possible to survive it if you are lucky enough and fast enough to know which and what way to go. Good luck.

Edit: forgot to add, at the 10 minute mark get horizontal. Ditches, dirt mounds, holes in ground, anything that gets you below the surface will help to absorb the radiation giving you a much higher chance of living. If you see a flash of light do not look at it! And still get down. Blasts radiate outward and across which means the more you can limit your exposure the better so being as far down as possible will give a better chance for most of the radiation to be absorbed by the sand, stone, and dirt between you and the blast. The radiation comes in three ways which radiate outward in waves, gamma, beta, and alpha particles. Gamma will not go very far away from the impact, beta and alpha will go farther because they are also emitted by the fallout cloud which will travel with the weather. Beta will kill you slower but it can be blocked by protective measures. Alpha is blocked by just your clothing and upper layers of skin, it damages you mostly by being breathed in and targeting vital organs.

edit2: This was originally from a post about what to do if a nuclear weapon was 10 minutes away from hitting close to you.

I appreciate the humor and light heartedness of the other posts, but his was actually useful. Thank you for this.

Do not look at blast. Open mouth to prevent eardrums from bursting.

4 more replies

25 more replies

216 points · 6 months ago

I actually have a bug-out plan in-case this horrible scenario occurred.

0-minute : After getting the alert I would check the weather and wind conditions. If you are far enough away from the blast the fallout will be the big killer, which is carried by winds.

1-5 Minutes : Wake up and collect everyone in the household, and take them too the basement. Throwing heavy insulation between the vents and windows. At this point other people in the house would be filling jugs of water and grabbing what foods they can.

6-10 minutes : Gathering blankets and mattresses, bringing them too the basement as well. Grabbing all batteries and battery operated lights/heaters I can. (Oil heater and propane heaters are already in my basement so I don't have to worry about this. Grab the housemates and duck and cover near the sturdiest concrete corner of the house.

0 Hour hits : Hold my head too my ass and pray that it is far enough away that we may survive. If we have survived up too an hour after the initial shock-wave the best chance of survival would be to hunker in the basement for at LEAST 1 day to pass. After the first day it would be time too boot up battery operated AM/FM radio and listen too any broadcasts too gather information (I would boot up on zero hour, but the radiation may scramble frequency). After a minimum of 2 days I would put on my HVAC suit and take a look at the outside conditions, and plan accordingly, baring confirmation that it is safe, if there is no confirmation 3 days minimum before a "walk-out".

they recommend 2 weeks to stay put.

When you say "they"...?

2 more replies

3 more replies

8 more replies

63 points · 6 months ago

Take a screenshot and post it on reddit for karma.

1 more reply

Start smoking pot. Either I'll die doing what I love or I'll be so high the explosion won't touch me.

5 more replies

I would do a reality check, no one gives a fuck about my country, most people haven't even heared of it or don't know where it is, and also now I'm in a fking village so I would definetly be dreaming

Wait, what country? I'm a geography nerd, I'm curious.

6 more replies

5 more replies

Rally my family to the armored secure room and wonder which country was stupid enough to declare war on Israel.

To be fair I think Israel is the most prepared nation besides North Korea.

Switzerland.

2 more replies

6 more replies

I loved the portrayal of Israel in World War Z (the book, not the movie). They were the first to take the rumors of zombies seriously, and they acted quickly to take drastic steps to protect themselves from the threat. They walled themselves off and only let certain people in after rigorous screening, including the Palestinians oddly enough, but there were practical political reasons for doing so. The orthodox Jews are not happy about this and try to rebel, but they are quickly crushed because literally everyone has military training but them.

But that's Israel. They are quick to take threats seriously, and quick to respond aggressively. The holocaust showed them how quickly things can go to shit. Now they live surrounded by countries that pose an existential threat. Israel does not fuck around.

2 more replies

16 more replies

Get my radio, all the sensitive electronics I can get my hands on, and settle down in the middle of my huge pile of canned wheat and 150 gallons of water. I also have potassium iodide tablets (inexpensive), face masks (really only good for particulates), and I'm vaccinated for anthrax. Unfortunately atropine and pralidoxime are rather hard to come by in any legal fashion, though.

Before you criticize me, it's not that much money or room, and in a world where I'm pretty sure most half-competent engineers could build VX-tipped cruise missiles in their backyards, and even the North Koreans can build nuclear weapons, it's nice to have.

1 more reply

30 points · 6 months ago

I'm in rural Sweden so I'd assume it was a false alarm or possibly for the bigger areas major city. Just to be sure I'd probably take the kids and some emergency stuff into a corner or the basement for a while..

5 more replies

Wonder why they want to nuke a backwards country town in the middle of NSW Australia

[deleted]
23 points · 6 months ago

Every time I see NSW Australia, my brain reads it as "north south west Australia." I know that's wrong, and I don't know why I read it that way.

5 more replies

Grabbed hunting gear, docs and storm-prep stuff and hunkered down in the middle of the house :/ Then realized I needed to invest in more brown pants. (Hawaii Resident)

87 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Hide in the refrigerator. If Indiana Jones has taught me one thing...

Edit: Just putting it out there. I was just referencing the movie. Most people should know this is a bad idea.

I dont think they line fridges with lead anymore. Sorry...

4 more replies

4 more replies

Grab all food, fill buckets and bottles with water, head into bunker.

Perks of living in Switzerland, more bunker space than population.

Bend over and try to kiss my ass goodbye.

4 more replies

[deleted]
46 points · 6 months ago

Get on a high place with some chocolate milk and a pillow, then take a seat and watch the blast. I imagine it would look pretty awesome so I might aswell make the best out of it.

Comment deleted6 months ago(2 children)

2 more replies

1 more reply

Text my family, my friends, the people I'm closed to. "I love you all". I'm on the 10th floor of my building, but there's a basement and then a large subbasement below that. It's not exactly a bunker, but I'd try to get everyone living in my building down there. Best chance we'd have of surviving

1 more reply

My happy dance.

35 points · 6 months ago

Are you ok?

To be honest, if there's nothing you can do to stop it, you might as well go out happy dancing. I can think of much worse ways to spend my last few moments!

4 more replies

4 more replies

i message my girlfriend and tell her, let her know how much i love her, and take my dog to the basement. also message my friends of course, but id probably be messaging her first as i wrangle the dog downstairs.

i doubt the basement would protect me from a nuke but to be fair it wouldnt be a direct hit on me, it would be on the city thats about an hours drive away.

Send everyone in my contacts list a pic of my dick wearing shades and a hat

1 more reply

82 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Call my mom. Tell her how much I love her, and that she should get her butt to safety.

Then go hug my kid, pack water and cans and go find a safe place myself.

SO would be at work, so I call her/him after we're safe, and tell him to get some milk on the way home cuz we're all out.

4 more replies

Flood my Facebook feed with Tom Lehrer's work to be an asshole.

10 more replies

Call bullshit. Living in Canada is great.

Ya. Except that's not true. First off, in the case of nuclear war, we can get the fallout from other locations. We are also in between Russia and the US.

Then there's the fact that Canada has legitimate targets. I live really close to a military base. Only this one is possibly the biggest tactical target in the country and one of the few targets that's not personnel or equipment.

6 more replies

8 more replies

grab my fam and a mattress, drag it to basement and hide under it

Go back to sleep, probably gonna be in a pretty deep sleep in a few minutes either way, may as well embrace it with comfort.

Acid. Shrooms. Whatever crazy shit I could find. Just not heroin in case it's a false alarm.

I had a friend this morning who took all the drugs he had because he wanted to die high but it was just a false alarm

15 points · 6 months ago

To be fair acid and shrooms could make the experience much more scary

3 more replies

1,350 more replies

Community Details

19.6m

Subscribers

66.2k

Online

/r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions.

Create Post
r/AskReddit Rules
1.
Rule 1 - Questions must be clear and direct
2.
Rule 2 - No personalized advice requests
3.
Rule 3 - Open ended questions only
4.
Rule 4 - No personal info
5.
Rule 5 - No loaded questions
6.
Rule 6 - No questions seeking professional advice
7.
Rule 7 - No begging for goods or services
8.
Rule 8 - No demeaning terms or personal attacks
9.
Rule 9 - No image only replies or large ascii art
10.
Comments in [Serious] posts must be on topic
Ideas for r/AskReddit

Do you have an idea or feedback for r/AskReddit? Submit it to:

Cookies help us deliver our Services. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Learn More.