gildings in this subreddit have paid for 6.65 weeks of server time

What’s something that’s popular to hate that you actually enjoy? by I_Want_A_Divorce_Now in AskReddit

[–]TheInnsmouthLook 100 points101 points  (0 children)


It's a fucking meme around my friend group as well as pops up on Reddit or YouTube as 'the absolute worst group you can't forget' type bullshit but damnit, I liked em when I was a wee lad. Saved up to get my first CD, you betcha, Smash Mouth. I knew it wasn't technically impressive music or anything ground break, but I was a stupid pre teen and something about it resonated with me. It was casual lyrics but some fun word play. It was some chubby guy screaming more then signing and it resonated with my awkward overweight self during a time when I wanted to be more confident and social, not the quiet smart ass who is always in back afraid to be looked at. Yeah, I loved listening to Metallica, Tenacious D, Wu Tang and all the other stuff my friends exposed me to. But Smash Mouth was 'my find' for music. Now it's Shrek memes and "every time the Bee Movie is bad play All Star".

So you know what? Yeah, I do feel like I'm Walking on The Sun sometimes. I am an All Star in my field and Your Man for a Pacific Coast Party. I know Sister Psychic, she is Out of Sight and She Turns Me On even if she can't tell me where my keys are! I will Hold You High if you can Keep It Down while you're part of The In Set. But don't be Disenchanted by my Force Field, I'm just.. well, I'm a Believer in Smash Mouth.

What instantly pisses you off? by TinMan11111 in AskReddit

[–]stabby_joe 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No the problem is that he took the first bag of cereal off the bagging area and put it on the floor (you see near the end when he looks down)

The juice was unexpected. The missing item was not the juice, it was the cereal.

[Serious] What is the most disrespectful thing a guest ever did in your home? by Yellow-B in AskReddit

[–]egorf38 4898 points4899 points  (0 children)

My room mates and I lived in a basement suite in a house during our second year of university, with the landlord upstairs.

The landlord was the chillest landlord who ever existed and was fine with us throwing parties every weekend pretty much. She had rented to a group of musicians for years before us and was accustomed to the noise.

One time she came down the set of stairs connecting the upper and lower suites to drop off some mail. The door in our basement is normally locked from the outside so we can't go upstairs through it but she must have forgotten to lock it back up on her way out.

Later that night we noticed that one of our friends, John, had disappeared. His shoes were still by the door so we assumed he had walked outside barefoot. We didn't really make much of it because he suddenly appeared back half an hour later.

The next day the landlord comes down and says that we had an "escapee" last night. We were all confused for a moment but then it all clicks for us at the same time, JOHN!

She recounted the story of what happened to us. Turns out John had been feeling adventurous and without realizing what he was doing, opened the door to the upstairs and walked up. He made his way to the fridge, opened it and started eating handfuls of pie straight from the tin.

Not only was she cool enough to not immediately call the police or put an end to our party, she started talking to him. She asked him how old he was. "19" (we are Canadian so we are legal to drink). She follows up with "how long have you been 19?" Thinking it was his birthday which would explain the excessive drunkenness. His answer to that was "ive been 19 for 2 years. I'm from Campbell River (a small town in BC), where time moves incredibly slowly"

After her laughing at his joke and finishing his handful of life she escorted him back downstairs like nothing had ever happened

What is the name of this chapter to your life? by PanicAtTheMetro in AskReddit

[–]no_man000000 18 points19 points  (0 children)

As a survivor of assault...

You are enough. You are not broken. You are not "less of" anything. It was not your fault or your failure. Someone was evil to you. That is a fact, and it has zero bearing on your worth or ability.

It's ok that it hurts. It's ok to be angry, to be sad, to be confused, to love sex one minute and hate it the next, to seethe and sob and wonder why. The way out is to sit with those things. To sit with your sad, your anger, your hurt, and to feel them as fully as you need to. Recognise that you are not your thoughts, they are something that proceeds from you. They don't control you. Recognise that the anxiety you may experience is a protective measure, but it is just a thought, and this too shall pass. Recognize the anger and depression are valid and normal reactions to trauma, but this too is a thought, and will pass. Embrace these things for what they are, fully, and you will find that your mind is your biggest ally, rather than something to be ashamed or afraid of. If you can't do it alone, don't. Find help in all it's forms. Talk to someone if you need to. If you're mad, run or punch a bag. If you are tired, take care of yourself. Eat. Shower. Sleep. Work. Rinse, repeat, and process until you can wake up one morning and not feel like shit. Do it some more until you can wake up happy.

You'll get there. You are strong. You are resilient. You are a fucking survivor. You can and you will make it. And always remember, you are enough.

What instantly pisses you off? by TinMan11111 in AskReddit

[–]canserpants 2028 points2029 points  (0 children)

If you have a galaxy there is a setting that changes the volume buttons to only adjust the volume of your media, regardless of how its playing.

Fucking life changing man, I tell ya.

Edit: for everyone searching, it's in settings - Sounds and vibration - use volume keys for media

Guys of reddit, what is your most embarrassing "random boner" story? by Guesswhat91 in AskReddit

[–]PM-ME-XBOX-LIVE-GOLD 4087 points4088 points x2 (0 children)

I was 13. Being checked out for growth problems by a female doctor. She had me lay on the table while in a hospital gown. She was oldish, salt and pepper hair, large glasses. She started by listening to my breathing and examining my top half, as I felt her working her way down I got the most awkward boner and apologized. She assured me it was totally normal for my age and that I shouldn't be embarrassed. She waited a few minutes for things to...calm down. She went under the gown to examine my testicle size.... She lightly touched my bag and I came on her hand... She also said it's normal and I shouldn't be embarrassed but I straight up just wanted to die.... From that point on I masturbated before anymore appointments.

Edit: does this count as getting a handie from the doctor?

Edit 2: Thanks for the gold!

What instantly pisses you off? by TinMan11111 in AskReddit

[–]procrastinatingasper 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband is a very clever man but his one failing is that he is RUBBISH at looking for things. Then he gets mad he can't find them. Then 'cos he's mad he doesn't look properly. It's hard to watch...

What instantly pisses you off? by TinMan11111 in AskReddit

[–]ceestars 205 points206 points  (0 children)

Me neither. Looks like we need to install Samsung's Sound Assistant app- https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.samsung.android.soundassistant "Allow you to control the media volume instead of ringtone when pressing the volume keys"

*edit- Assistant, not Experience

Girls of reddit: What is something you don’t think enough guys realize about being a girl? by likeeeyeah in AskReddit

[–]beepborpimajorp 1552 points1553 points  (0 children)

Yeeeeep. Or you're sitting in your office and stand up to get a drink and you just feel it and you know. You KNOW. So you have to do that sly peek around to make sure the chair wasn't collateral damage and try to briskly powerwalk to the bathroom to check the damage. If you're lucky you get there with only a minor situation. But I've had a couple cases of, "FUCK THIS, this is not salvageable!" and texting my boss that I was going home sick as I got into my car.

"Wehwehweh but if girls have periods their whole lives they should know what to expect."

Yeah right. Every damned time a period comes around it's like a jack-in-the-box of horrible surprises. Maybe you get lucky and have 5 days of moderate to light flow. Or, maybe the gates of Abaddon have decided to open up and you get 8 days of just constant heavy flow. And you never know! Ya just never know how that period is going to be.

It's like the worst cosmic joke in the Universe. Something we deal with almost our whole lives but that never has a guarantee of even being consistent.

What is something that still exists despite almost everyone hating it? by rose_esor in AskReddit

[–]avelak 403 points404 points  (0 children)

We should get rid of it, but only if we stay on DST, when it stays light out later

I'd rather have the sun out when I can enjoy it, having it in the morning is a waste since I just need to go to work

Girls of reddit: What is something you don’t think enough guys realize about being a girl? by likeeeyeah in AskReddit

[–]AP7497 388 points389 points  (0 children)

I have come to realise from this thread, and the thread asking men the same question that women and men view compliments very differently.

I want to point out the difference between compliments and congratulations. Yes, the terms are largely interchangeable and many situations definitely blend into both categories, but just hear me out.

Compliments are nice things you say to people about something they can’t really control. “Hey gorgeous! Nice ass!” I have limited control over how my ass is. Yes, I can work out; but it’s mostly genetics. “You have gorgeous eyes.” Thanks, but I didn’t exactly get to pick them out. “Nice shirt.” This is one that could fall into either category, but in my experience, fashion sense and money to buy good clothing are both dependent on a lot of factors beyond the control of that person.

Congratulations are nice things you say to people about things they can control. “Nice work on the presentation today.” “Congrats on your promotion.” “Thanks for cooking dinner/cleaning the house.” “Thanks for helping out with the kids.”

I think most women hear a lot of the former and most men hear a lot of the latter. Both are equally important, and both go a long way in making people feel good about themselves.

As a woman, I hear a lot of the former and hence compliments annoy me or frankly creep me out. And I think men don’t hear them that often and hence think of compliments as a welcome thing. It might be a welcome thing to you, but for most women it’s not. What I would actually welcome is congratulating me on my achievements.

Let’s try and bridge the gaps, people.

What moment in your life did you think to yourself, “Yeah, this person isn’t my friend anymore.”? by SwipingNoSwiper in AskReddit

[–]echolouder 15.4k points15.4k points  (0 children)

I called to tell her I had finally left my abusive husband and she replied “not everything is about you.” I cut ties shortly after.

What instantly pisses you off? by TinMan11111 in AskReddit

[–]GypsysTrampsandSteve 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Oh, we have one guy here that does that.

One time I’d been chasing him for a report for a goddamn FORTNIGHT, and he just kept ignoring me.

But he wanted something done, and he emailed me copying in his boss and all the directors of the company.

All of them.

I replied

“Hello Fuckface*, and all the other random people copied in for no reason at all. I’m glad you’ve finally figured out how to email me. I’d be delighted to respond to your query, and will do so as soon as you send back the report I have been emailing you about constantly over the last two weeks.

With warmest** regards,


Thankfully, I outrank him by a country mile, so there was no fallout. I got my report that afternoon.

may or may not be his real name *they were not warm

Edit - thanks for the gold! I shall go sing some Spandau Ballet to celebrate. :)

Dentists, why don't you have something interesting to look at on your ceiling? by SaltnPepper92 in AskReddit

[–]dovetc 4189 points4190 points  (0 children)

Dentist: When was the last time you flossed?

Me: Bruh, you were there!

What instantly pisses you off? by TinMan11111 in AskReddit

[–]smp501 28.8k points28.8k points  (0 children)

When a coworker decides to "correct" me by sending a passive aggressive email and copying the boss and the whole group instead of just saying something to me privately and in person.

What instantly pisses you off? by TinMan11111 in AskReddit

[–]anonymous_pete 8378 points8379 points  (0 children)

This for sure! Some other useful keys:

L - Forward 10 seconds

J - Back 10 seconds

F - Fullscreen/exit full screen

While paused; < and > , and . move one frame forward or back back or forward, respectively

Edit: Thanks to many helpful comments, here are some more to add:

M - Toggles Mute

C - Toggles Captions

0 through 9 - Seeks to 0% through 90% of the video

Up and Down arrow keys - Adjusts volume

Left and Right arrow keys - skips backward or forward by 5 seconds

Shift+N and Shift+P - skips to the next and previous video in a playlist.

Here is a full list of hotkeys if you're interested

What's your "desperate times call for desperate measures" story? by gimmecookiedough in AskReddit

[–]MyNameIsNotRyn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You asked thisquestion fifteen days ago, but I only got around to it today. Sorry!

Anyways... here it is:

INGREDIENTS - 2 cups whole wheat flour - 1/2 cup warm water - 1/4 cup olive oil - Salt - 1/4 cup butter (vegan butter works well, too!) - 3/4 cup finely diced onion - 2 cloves of garlic, minced - 2 large sweet potatoes (peeled, diced, and boiled) - Black pepper, to taste

DOUGH Mix flour, water, oil, and a pinch of salt. Mead until slightly sticky. Place in a bowl covered with a towel for 30 minutes.

FILLING Medium heat. Cook onion until caramelized (about ten minutes). Add garlic. Cook one more minute. add sweet potatoes and butter until creamy.

FINAL TOUCHES Divide dough in half. Roll until 1/4 inch thick. Cut into 3" inch circles. Add 2-3 tablespoons of filling for each perogie.

Either boil in salted water or fry until golden brown. (LBR, the best perogies are fried perogies).

If you are feeling fancy you can add brown sugar, thyme, sage, or nutmeg. But I like this simple recipe best.

What is currently being taught in schools that you believe is BS? by GeckoFlameThrower in AskReddit

[–]the_river_nihil 562 points563 points  (0 children)

By 1990s standards I carry a fucking supercomputer around everyday. Facial recognition, harmonic analysis, the thing has its own telemetry for Christ’s sake.

Guys of Reddit: What is something you don't think enough women realize about being a dude? by PhilipLiptonSchrute in AskReddit

[–]Sanitybug 359 points360 points  (0 children)

A woman cutting a man's genitals off for cheating on her isn't a fun news story, naughty but kind of empowering: it's just straight up genital mutilation. Like... literally. It's just horrifying and sexually violent.