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Say hello Amazon

321 comments
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level 1

I went on Amazon last night to buy a new phone charger, shoulda have been $10. Left with two chargers, a children's toy, and a 10-pack of Godzilla figures.

level 2

I frequently go on Amazon and just look at shit I can't afford. I don't even have an account...

level 3
[deleted]
272 points · 3 months ago(More than 34 children)
level 4
396 points · 3 months ago

Thanks, Tinypeepee123.

level 5
[deleted]
326 points · 3 months ago(0 children)
level 6
121 points · 3 months ago

You know nothing tinypeepee.

Whoever corrects a mocker invites insults; whoever rebukes the wicked incurs abuse.

Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you;

If you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.

Folly is an unruly woman; she is simple and knows nothing.

Proverbs 9:7-17##

level 7

Nice bit of sexism at the end there

level 8
43 points · 3 months ago

Well /u/Jazzypants, the unruly gynocracy is responsible for the fall of man so you know... I can only have so much sympathy for those simplistic cuntocrat godless apple pushing snake worshippers. Curse the vaginarchy.

To the woman he said, "I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

Genesis 3:16##

level 9

Ahem.

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Matthew 22:37-39

level 10
28 points · 3 months ago

Meh. The New Testament is for cucks. I prefer the manly red pilled wrathful interventionist character from the original series. NT writers were all communist golden rule worshipping SJW's. That smarmy Paul dude completely missed the point.

So no thanks. You can keep your "turn the other cheek" grace and love nonsense. I prefer the flaming holy jealous justice of the original.

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level 8

AND an analbox

level 9

I think you mean "An Albox."

/u/DRUNK_CYCLIST it's time to clean up your dirty mind. Redemption is waiting for you. Your sodomy is nothing but degenerate filth in the eyes of your Lord and savior Jesus H. Christ. Fire & nashing of teeth await those who ignore the Lord's rebuke. Sodom was consumed by fire and brimstone and it could happen to you! So just stop putting things in your hole ok? It's unholy.

If a man has sexual relations with another male as he would with a woman, both have committed a repulsive act. They are certainly to be put to death.

Leviticus 20:13

level 10

Ezekiel 23:20... much better read.

level 8

Nice sex?

level 7

Thanks, Analbox.

level 7

Oh shit you just bibled the jesus out of him!

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level 5

He'd know about envy

level 5

😂

level 4
[deleted]
8 points · 3 months ago

You gotta get schwifty.

Oh, yeah!

Take off your pants and your panties.

Shit on the floor.

Rick S02:ep05

level 5

Jesus wept.

John 11:35

level 4
Comment deleted3 months ago(0 children)
level 5

Some translations use those terms interchangeably

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level 4

I dont get it, what is the message?

level 4

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

Psalms 137:9

lol

level 4

From the most elaborate embellished book ever written by man

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level 3
55 points · 3 months ago

Make a wishlist on Amazon. Instead of going shopping on Amazon just add the stuff to your wishlist. Weird random shit you can never rationalize buying for yourself. Now provide that wishlist to friends and family when they ask what stuff you want for gifts. Makes it super easy for people to go shopping for you, you get the feeling of shopping for cool shit, and you ultimately get gifts you really want for yourself.

Total game changer. Just...make sure you don't actually buy the stuff you put on your list.

level 4
16 points · 3 months ago

The real LPT is always un in the comments.

Seriously, this is a great idea

level 5

Are you only now realizing what wish lists are for?

I know internet whores use them to suck money from idiots, but they have a legitimate use too.

level 6

but they have a legitimate use too.

Yeah to be put on my twitch profile so that guys buy them for me. Duh.

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level 4

I use wishlist to avert impulse buys. If I really, really want it one day, I'll just hop on there and buy it. If I don't, I'll likely delete it the next time I look at the wishlist.

level 5
3 points · 3 months ago

Use your wishlist with camelcamelcamel.com and get alerted when something on your wishlist is on sale.

level 6

I love camelcamelcamel!

I save a bookmark of it and turn it into an icon my phone (iOS and Android can do this).

level 4

I do this with my in-laws. They splurge on gifts anyway, night as well point them in the right direction.

level 3

If I'm ever rich I'll buy this just because fuck it

https://www.amazon.com/AudioQuest-Diamond-feet-Braided-Cable/dp/B003CT08E4/

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level 3

Same here

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level 2
[deleted]
35 points · 3 months ago

Which Godzilla figures? I'm thinking of getting Godzilla 2000 or Shin

level 3

Oliasports 10Pcs Mini Godzilla Dinosaur Toys Action Figure https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XB3P6RW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_fTA.AbPW57F47

level 4

Damnit I can’t not buy these!

level 4

So I don't know anything about Godzilla but why is there like six of them that are different colors?

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level 4

Dang I was hoping for a fully articulated Michael Lerner action figure!

level 4

They look amazing!

level 5

Ehhh.. if you want to see some amazing Godzilla figures you'll have to shell out some dough.

level 4

I used to have these! They’re suuuper small though, and get lost easily,

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level 2

nice try amazon shill

level 3
6 points · 3 months ago · edited 3 months ago

I mean, I love prime. I'll be a shill all day, they just won't pay me for it

level 2

Are you my husband? I’ve never seen a grown man with so much Godzilla crap.

level 3

...crap?

level 4

chotchkies? If it exists and is Godzilla he finds it and has to have it. We have an entire tree at Christmas time dedicated to his Godzilla ornaments.

level 5

I apologize, I'm really struggling to see the problem here

level 6

Same

level 2

What children’s toy?

level 2
5 points · 3 months ago

You should ask your mommy or daddy before using their account.

level 3

I've got my own big boi account 😎

level 2

Why do you need two chargers? Because you wouldn't buy something you dont need, right? Right? You'd only buy two instead of one because you didn't need just one but needed two.

level 3

I bought one for home that my dog chewed up, but figured it was a good enough deal that'd I'd grab a new one for my car as well

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level 2
3 points · 3 months ago

Godzilla figures = childrens toys (?)

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level 2

Lol. I like that you don’t consider Godzilla figures to be a children’s toy.

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level 2

Goddamn you might as well be a millionaire

level 3

Really ballin' out recently

level 2

Kinda deals and thrifter consistently list deals of the day from Amazon. Great way to lose money

level 2

Left with two chargers, a children's toy, and a 10-pack of Godzilla figures.

You sound like you'd be the perfect victim for a 3d printer.

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level 1

For my paycheck, I ended up spending $80 on:

5 grams of dank shit.

1/8 of poor man’s weed.

1 Golani preroll

2 100 mg edibles.

level 2
153 points · 3 months ago

i pretty much spend all my paycheck on bud rip

level 3

So I'm not trying to judge. But why

level 4
254 points · 3 months ago

NoN hABiT fOrMiNg

level 5
Comment deleted3 months ago(24 children)
level 6

I've heard people who have a similar problem ween themselves off of it or cut cold turkey and are able to have nice good sleep eventually afterwards without it. Just like any drug you'll be crying for it for awhile to get some good sleep but I've heard the reward is worth it.

level 7

I ingest stupid amounts of weed, can't lie it is stupid, when I can't smoke, I can't eat, become easily irritable, and can't sleep well. If that's the withdrawal from a hardcore weed addiction, it's pretty safe to say it's non addictive (in the sense that you have real withdrawals if you stop), but is habit forming to a high degree.

level 8

Yeah dude, I tend to be a bit stupid and irritable the next day after a huge toke session. I feel ya.

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level 8

Hell, I dropped cigs cold turkey. This sounds like nothing.

level 9

Yea caffeine and nicotine are way worse for withdrawals.

level 10

Yep. Caffeine withdrawals make my head hurt the worst.

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level 7

The dreams you have when you stop smoking weed are the most vivid, realistic dreams you are ever likely to experience.

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level 6
Comment deleted3 months ago(0 children)
level 7

Why are they downvoting you? Are you Hannibal Buress?

level 6

I mean so is TV and the entirety of my routine. If I go on vacation for a few days I might be slightly irritable but it's not cause of lack of weed, it's cause I'm without all the things I'm used to. The physical withdrawal symptoms are basically non existent, it's just become regular thing, not a dependency.

level 7

I get that from going on vacations too, I love routine and being on vacation takes all routine out of my life. Like this morning the game I play every morning was doing server maintenance or something so I was pissy all morning at work because I get up an hour early to play games and start the day and I couldn't.

level 6

That shit is mad annoying. ANYTHING is addictive. There are people whose lives have been destroyed by fucking World of Warcraft for god sakes.

level 7
Comment deleted3 months ago(0 children)
level 8

Well it's good that you recognize it. I am of the opinion that an addictive personality can be turned into a productive thing, provided you manage to get yourself addicted to something productive.

How somebody would do that, I have no idea. But props on recognizing your flaws.

level 6

You take a break, man. You've let your mind depend on it too much, nothing wrong with a little weed at night. Just control the amount you smoke in a night.

level 6

Yo undergraduate psychology researcher on habit formation here. just turned in my senior dissertation.

Just want to say that habit formation is a super convoluted term and its not even properly defined. Theres a lot of disagreement about the timeline, formation, and nature of habits in relation to other cognitive skills.

What drugs do is different than habit formation. As a general rule, a habit forms when there is repeated reward being given in a static environment. it takes time, and is resistant to a change in the reward. now this sounds like similar, right? withdrawal is that resistance, or so we thought. Nowadays, most people in my field of research would say that the withdrawal symptoms mimic aspects of habit formations resistance to extinction, but the physical symptoms and spontaneity of formation seem to indicate that the two are unrelated. i do think proper habits do help enforce drug addiction in the form of triggers though.

Why this is relevant is that, though i have no research proof to back this up, it is my opinion that this is what separates weed from addictive drugs. People actually do form habits with weed. People who can't sleep get into the habit of relying on a zoot before bed. After long enough, i think it becomes a habitual reliance far more than a chemical one. thats why its hard to quit weed, but it doesn't cause the emotional or physical symptoms of even quitting nicotine.

Just my two cents on the matter. I wish we knew more.

level 6

something something joe rogan cheeseburgers.

level 5

i hate when people say this lol. i can barely eat unless i’m high and i can never sleep without smoking. still love getting high tho

level 4

It's much harder to stress about your life being incredibly unfulfilling when you're stoned. That and sometimes debilitating back pain are why I smoke.

level 3

I feel you dude.

level 4

And people say weed isn't bad for you...

level 3

Sounds like me when I got my first job. Got a job, got a medical license a week later. Now it's legal and I haven't been to a dispensary in years

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level 2
Comment deleted3 months ago(47 children)
level 3

Because you pay your bills first, and then buy whatever frivolous items you want. I used to buy a lot of cheap weed because I preferred quantity over quality, but after finally getting a big boy job, I started going for quality and I noticed that I’ll smoke less but I’ll get just as stoned. Plus you gotta know when to get deals. I read through a few ads to find the best first time patient deals.

level 4

I read through a few ads

Wut

to find the best first time patient deals

OhHHh ok this makes sense now

level 5

Yep. Its legal in my city. Hell, they post ads on the last few pages of this local magazine for dispensaries.

level 6
2 points · 3 months ago

damn there were like 5 ads for addiction treatment in the first few pages i scrolled through, shits crazy

level 7

The rich of San Diego have narcotic addictions.

level 6

San Diego ftw!

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level 3

alcohol? $6 a drink and people go to the bars allllll the time and order a beer or 2 wirh every meal. and they have alcohol at home which they also consume

level 4
Comment deleted3 months ago(0 children)
level 5
[deleted]
13 points · 3 months ago

Vodka destroys your liver tho, weed doesn't do that.

level 6
Comment deleted3 months ago(0 children)
level 7
[deleted]
5 points · 3 months ago

I mean, vaping weed is easy going and useful for anxiety if you don't have an addictive personality. Not that I'm condoning or recommending drug use ( I sort of am tho )

level 8
Comment deleted3 months ago(0 children)

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level 4

No need to get so defensive about stoner spending habits bro. You can have a chill conversation about how stoners spend their cash without having to point fingers at other vices people may have and their associated expenses.

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level 3

$80 is insanely cheap for all that and impossible to find around me for that price.

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level 2

5 grams of dank shit.

1/8 of poor man’s weed.

Literally why the fuck am I paying $50 for an eighth end my life please

level 3

Because you don't live in a legal state. I paid $45 for an eigth for a while. Took me a long time to find a guy to give them to me for $40.

For the first two years of my college life I was paying $60 an eighth.

/u/boosted_monkey13 obviously lives in a recreational state and is incredibly lucky for that.

level 4

nah this guy was just paying too much. I'm in an illegal state and I can get a g for $10 and an 8th for $30

level 3

Depends on the quality dude. Post a picture of what you normally get

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level 2

weed

😂😂👌👌LOL👌😂😂

level 3

Dude weed lmao

level 4

Weed is very epic

level 2

How TF you get all that for just $80?

level 3

Its a returning patient bundle. I normally just buy either a gram of their house wax for $25 (which lasts me for about 2 weeks) or their mid/top shelf Oz that cost $60/$100 (which lasts me about a month). Plus that place has a point system. You get $1 store credit per $10 spent.

level 4

I heard you were looking for a new roommate ;)

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level 2

I just spent my paycheck on a sheet of gel tabs

level 3

I hope you’re not using a sheet in one pay period 😂

level 2

I see every check as $90 less because i have to re-up on 2gs of oil cartridges

level 3

shatter/wax is cheaper than prefilled carts generally

level 4

Yeah but I need to be super low key where I rent so the pens work out for me

level 5

Look into ordering an Ooze Globe.

level 6

Oh yeah! I use to have some of these. I totally forgot about them! Good call amigo

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level 1

Nah 🅱️ I save up. The best people save their stash of cash

level 2

This sounds like an episode of Fresh Prince where they'd bring in someone cool to emphasize good financial practice with hip lingo.

level 3

At the end they'd have Carlton say some ignorant bougie shit while they pan over to Will giving that look.

level 3
level 3

Only thing I remember about that show is the intro. Not really into sitcoms and tv shows (although I might watch stranger things over the summer)

level 4

Fresh Prince is the prequel to stranger things, I recommend it.

level 3

You gotta diversity your bonds.

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level 1

I got 1 2 3 4...

level 2

5 6 7 8 Ms in my bank account.

level 3

*dollars

level 3

Why do you gotta 12 car garage...

level 4
11 points · 3 months ago

When you only got six cars

level 5

Gonna expand that Hot Wheels collection anytime soon, Savage?

level 3

on god

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level 1

as soon as I get paid friday, my wallet will be empty :(

level 2

break the habit man

level 3

Bills are a bitch

level 4

Well this thread is about people wasting their money on useless shit on Amazon, not about people being wage slaves

level 5

sorry for being too poor :/

level 3

Its not a habit, just im in the middle of building a new pc lol

level 4

Ooh, been there. Definitely worth it. But, advice from a financial amateur here, I try to wait about a week or so into my paychecks before making big purchases. Just to make sure I actually have the kind of money I think I do.

Not tellin you how to live your life, though. Rock that new PC. Also, 1 terabyte SSDs are goin for like 200 bucks from some places these days.

level 5

"As soon as I get my paycheck, it'll all be spent."

"Not good."

"But PC."

"DUDE I'D GIVE MY LEFT NUT FOR A PC."

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level 1

There's a great YouTube channel called Minority Mindset (I'd include a link but I'm on mobile and mobile YouTube is shitty for that). In general he talks about finances but a lot of his videos are geared towards normal young people, as opposed established middle aged people who need investment advice.

He says that 70% of Americans have less than $1000 in their bank account which is scary but I can believe it.

I make $16 an hour. This is not a lot of money. But by taking his advice I've managed to save $400 a month and I now have a nice healthy savings account and emergency fund.

level 2

i mean... $16/hr working 40hrs/week is decent money in the Midwest if you have no debt.

i make $18/hr right now and have no debt. 40% of my income goes to bills. The rest is just open money.

The issue is people with debt making under $60k/year and can't get ahead of it. I live better than people I know making 2-3x more because their debt is so large from schooling.

I'll be making double in 2-3 years most likely and lol... i already buy whatever i want, I cant imagine then. probably up my retirement and upgrade my lifestyle. the only reason i dont leave my current IT job is because i'm on reddit 90% of the time and it's relaxing with no urgency to make more to decrease my stress.

level 3

Y’all hiring?

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level 2

Good for you man. Keep saving your money 100

level 1

Look at Mr. Moneybags over here with 5 whole dollars

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level 1

Nothing better than when there is 5 Friday’s in a month

level 2

I like the months with 6

level 3

There's not 36 days in a month, my dude.

level 4

Sorry I meant 7 fridays in a month

level 5

Thanks for the clarification

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level 1

Hey you should try saving money

level 2

As opposed to?

level 3

not saving money

level 1

r/frugal will be having panic attacks seeing this

level 2

REEEEEEEEEE not reusing TP

level 1

Me... right now. I'm currently making a list of things I'm going to buy tomorrow.

level 1

Can't say anything. The moment I get paid is the moment my rent gets taken

level 1

Rich on Friday.. broke by Sunday!

level 2

Happy Cake Day!

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level 1

-15$ miss me with that overcharge fee tho

level 1

I want Amazon to have a setting where you Input how much money you have/want to spend, and it offers items with that price. Like I got a $10 gift card to amazon, what can I get with that purchasing power?

level 1

I drunkenly sent 12 cans of Pringle and a party size bag of m&ms to my brother, he’s going to be confused he happy at the same time

level 1

Heh, i hadn’t had a job in a few years, I just got a new job that pays well, and I’ve already made a list of things I want/need to buy...

I need to scour eBay for some discontinued shoes that I used to have that helped my feet and knee problems, I wanna fix and (learn how to) restore my 1969 three wheel bicycle, pay off a balance I owe at college, buy and (figure out how to) install curtains in my bedroom, then I can maybe get some “luxuries” for myself, perhaps a Nintendo switch, and/or a ps4. If red dead redemption 2 actually gets released this year, definitely a ps4.

level 2
3 points · 3 months ago

Depending on how your windows are arranged and how permanent of a solution you want -- for a long time I just had my curtains strung onto a telescoping shower rod. Cheap, doesn't scar the walls. Only works if you have a reasonably sized window sill.

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level 1
5 points · 3 months ago

Perfect time to max up those credit cards baby

level 1

i wish this was me. i started a new job last Monday and just missed the cutoff to get paid tomorrow. gotta work 3 weeks before getting paid. feels bad.

level 2

it will feel good when you have that 3week paycheck :D

hang in there

level 1

Came into this thread looking for laughs, left with a plan to never spend money again

level 1

My Amazon cart is full, waiting for midnight to hit "place order" :-)

  • Paycheque: Hey, glad to finally meet yo.....

  • ME: BYEEEEEEEEEEE

level 2

Money talks, and it mostly just says "Goodbye"

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level 1
4 points · 3 months ago

This is extra hilarious if you're like me and work for Amazon.

level 2

Isn’t that sad that you work for Jeff Bezos just to give his money back to him? Lol

level 3

Not really how it works but sure

It’s like “isn’t it sad that a teacher works for the govt and then gives 30% back to them)

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level 2
2 points · 3 months ago

Lol I was just about to say the same!!

level 1

Im saving my money so i have enough to buy curtians and a mattress!!! Almost there!!!!!! Helllllllooo sleep and privacy in about a month!!!!!!!!!!!

level 1

That’s Wednesday’s for me

level 1

That's my life right now

level 1

i havent had to check my balance in several years but i still remember the fear of overdrafts beating my paycheck on thursday nights

level 1

Hello Amazaon

level 1

Me when I make 1 sale on my Etsy shop.

level 1

Amazon is a Monopoly in my opinion. I wil never buy from them.

level 2

Monopoly on what? And who do you buy from then?

level 3

We shall never know

level 1

I'm always certain to buy something from Amazon whenever I get paid 😂

level 1

So hard to find green in Baton Rouge, LA.

level 1

shout out to payday tomorrow.

direct deposit i need you

level 1

Lol I have over $3000 in Amazon gift cards on my account, Im saving all i can in my account. Saves me lots of money id frivolously spend. Beer money ftw!

level 1

Hello, I like money

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