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The Suicide (Half) Pint

I started with loratabs. No, I don't want to die of Tylenol overdose. I extract the hydrocodone...roughly 180mg. Good. And it's in alcohol. Great!

Of course, hydrocodone's LD50 is higher than you may think. I was unsure. I hate being unsure!

Xanax. Of course! I crushed down 15mg worth into a fine powder to add to the solution.

Xanax. Hydrocodone. Alcohol. Okay, now we're talking. But it doesn't feel like enough.

Phenibut. Oh how I hate to love you. My great mistress. At the beginning, phenibut felt like a combination of rolling on molly combined with some bars. Not a single fuck to give, but euphoria to have. I add 2 grams for good measure.

Finally, the crews all here. I fill up my half pint bottle with the hyrodocone solution, then the crushed xanax, and the phenibut. Fill the rest up with vodka - good quality shit, to be exact. I add a packet of lemonade flavoring for good measure - not because I can't handle alcohol, but because fuck the taste of CWE hydro.

Into the freezer you go.

This was the story of what was. It is no longer. I didn't drink it. I would of had an extremely quick and easy death. But what's the actual point? Life is short, we're going to die. I don't know what's going to happen. But I may as well go for a ride.

For those of you battling with the horrible condition that is being human, I feel for you. I have universal empathy for all of life. If there is a god, I'd tell him to fuck off for allowing the levels of suffering he/she enables. Keep fighting the good fight. It's all temporary. All of it. The good, the bad, the neutral. But especially the bad. It gets better.

94% Upvoted
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level 1
33 points · 1 month ago

Glad you didn’t drink it. Glad you were able to write this.

level 1

The knowledge that this will all end is the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.

level 2

At my worst, this keeps me going. I don’t believe anything will happen after I die, I’m living my best life while I’m here.

level 3

You never really know if things will get better or not. But there's always the chance that they could, that's the hope that keeps me going

level 1

*someone drinks it thinking it's a lemonade vodka drink made with love.

level 2

well it is made with love .

level 1
10 points · 1 month ago

Thank you I actually needed to hear that but wasn't expecting it from this post Edit and I feel the same way if there is a god(s) they don't give a fuck about us

level 2

The earth doesn’t care and we hardly even matter we’re just a bit more piss to push out its full bladder and as our bodies break down to all there rocky little bits piled up under dirt and silt and still the world it don’t give a shit BUUTTT


-Modest Mouse

level 3

Great album

level 4

Great band lol I love just about everything of theirs

level 1

I must not be taking enough Phenibut since I’ve heard multiple people say it feels like rolling...

level 2

For me 2g of phen, some weed and caffeine made me felt like I had a minor roll going on

level 3
3 points · 1 month ago

Yeah caffeine boosts phenibut a lot

level 4

Phenibut still can be bought pretty easily online right? I’ve heard so much about it but have never bothered to try any

level 5
2 points · 28 days ago

Oh Yeah and its cheap af too.

level 6

Hell yeah I wanna buy some

level 2

Yup felt like benzos and Molly had a baby for me especially with weed

level 2

Haven't had much in terms of euphoria on phenibut alone but when I mixed with first plateau DXM dose it felt pretty great

level 1

The bad exist so you know what good feels like, and vice versa. If god made this world all good we wouldn’t even know what was good and it would’ve been boring as fuck in la la land. The world may be cruel but that’s exactly the challenge presented in this game called the human experience . I’m glad you stopped, sometimes it just takes time to sleep on your decision instead of hopping right into it. Who knows if it would’ve actually killed you or not, but I’m sure if it didn’t then you’d REALLY wish you were dead.

level 1

Could I buy that cocktail off you? Be a shame to have it just take up space in your freezer.

What was your calculation on lethality? Looks like a serious stress test of the liver.

level 1
2 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

if you do end up not being suicidal anymore then just use maybe drink a lil for recreation that sounds like fun right?

if you do a half oz it's 0.9375mg xanax and 11.25mg hydro plus 125mg grams of phenibut

i would name the concoction, when used recreational and NOT for suicide, something like satans kiss or devil's poppy butthole or something e d g y like that

level 2

I thought about that too but something just feels wrong about it.

level 3

the rush of death feels so wrong yet so fun

level 1

Are you sure phenibut is water soluble?

level 1
1 point · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

Question - if the intention was suicide, why bother extracting the hydrocodone? The sedatives are going to kill you long before the acetaminophen. The clinical manifestation is typically a whole lot of nothing for the first 24-48 hours and then acute liver failure.

That said, maybe it was wise. To justify the laziness you need to really be sure you're gonna die. I would have upped the doses and probably preloaded with an antiemetic. Or, you know, just bought a gun.

level 1
-17 points · 1 month ago(0 children)
level 2

Did you miss the bit where they mixed all of this together in a glass? The mix of xanax and alcohol alone is likely enough to kill someone with no tolerance. CWE because if on the off chance they survive, at least there’s no liver failure on top of the pain of a failed suicide. As well as that, the paracetamol could make you vomit before the drugs took effect.

Are you 14? You sound like you’re 14. You’re pretty hard.

level 3

dude, this is just 0.2 liters of alcohol. that is not enough to kill a healthy normal aged person even mixed with a bit of xanax. you would be surprised how much it really takes to kill people. I have seen so many failed suicide attempts where people used way more crazy amounts with no tolerance and failed, no brain damage or anything. grams of heroin, 500 mg of fent, bottles of benzos etc. its not as easy as you think just because alcohol and benzos are contraindicated. add old age into the mix or slowed metabolism due to liver/kidney problems and it could become much more deadly. And no, I'm not 14, I have actual hands on experience with this stuff, with all of these substances.

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