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[Discussion] I don't want to grow up.

I finished college last month. I spent most of it not studying, and wasting my time on the Internet. Now that it's over, I am expected by my family to get a job. I don't want to get a job. I don't want to grow up and have to go to work. I want to stay a student forever, where I can wake up at 9, get back from class by 2(and skip class whenever I feel like it), and spend the rest of my time posting on reddit and 4chan. I have spent much of the last four years living almost a basement-dweller kind of lifestyle: watching porn almost everyday, posting nonstop on reddit and 4chan, and playing video games. Once in a while I would manage to turn off the PC go out and hang out with my friends. Somehow, I've managed to maintain a decent CGPA with all this which while not sky high is much better than what I think I deserve.

Now that college has ended, I almost feel depressed. The idea that I gotta start applying for jobs, that I will now need to go out into the real world, find work, make money and deal with other adults like a man has saddened me beyond description. I want it to start all over again, go back to the first day of first year, meet new cool people, get drunk, sit and chat with my buddies after class without a care in the world.

I know this is not how it ought to be, and to be fair I did not particularly enjoy my lifestyle - I was just used to it. Often after masturbating I would be surrounded by a profound sense of despair and guilt, but I was helpless to do anything about it. Shouldn't I be happy that college has finally ended, and now I have a lower chance of relapsing into the shitty life that I led before this? But I am not.

Anyone else in a similar situation?

14 comments
82% Upvoted
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level 1

I don't have much advice. All I know is that if you refuse to grow up, life will force you to. If you at least make a conscious decision to do it on your own, then you can decide how and what to grow into, because life will not be as kind. Good luck.

level 1

So, good news... As an adult you can still do almost all of what you've been doing in college. The only difference is instead of going to school for your time filer, that's replaced with a job.

level 1

Hey dude believe me when I say, I know exactly how you feel. I also didn't want to apply for jobs and get into the 9-5 grind. It sickened me to think that the freedom of college is done.

But here is what I did. I said screw it, I did not even enjoy my degree. What I've always love to do was draw and create art. So I decide, my life my rules. I worked on my art career, and its been best decision ever.

This is the point where you need to make a big decision: Continue and apply for jobs in the field you studied, or go do something else that actually EXCITES you and makes you WANT to go and find a job in that area (or work independently). If that requires you take another degree, then go back to college and study some more.

Point is, no one can force you to do anything. Its all your decision, just be sure to make one that will benefit you and your happiness.

PS do not go back to the basement lifestyle man. Please, just do not. The world is way too great for that, and so are you.

All the best!

level 1

Here's a question for you:

Do you want to get advice on how to deal with growing up and integrating into the real world?

Or do you just want pity, sympathy, and ass pats for your situation?

level 2
Original Poster2 points · 1 month ago

Do you want to get advice on how to deal with growing up and integrating into the real world?

this

level 3

Learn what it means to be an adult.

Being an adult means being responsible for yourself.

Everyone's journey is different while the theme remains the same, so unfortunately for you, that's all I can give that will make any sense.

level 1
2 points · 1 month ago

I'd suggest you make a list of the things you hold most dear-your values and start living consciously in pursuit of these. Seek help for your addictions-use the internet for these things instead. Life is rewarding if you do the hard work of investing in yourself

level 1

Don't look back on your life as you're dying and feel regret, do what you want to do and work hard at making it happen. If you want to live in your basement, go for it.

level 1

"You can only be young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." —Ogden Nash

If it makes you feel better, I'm 7 years older than you and still in the same boat. Actually a little behind because I'm about to go back to school to start all over again from scratch. No money in savings either. This is why it's so important to stay clear-headed, so you don't end up like me.

Here's my advice to get focused. Establish a morning routine, including making the bed – never skip a day. Make sure you get out of the house every morning, including weekends, so you don't fall into a slump. Start jogging or get a gym membership. If working out intimidates you, then only do 10 minutes a day to start. Try not to skip too many days (if any) in between: it's very easy/pleasurable to stay in shape, but a bitch to get the ball rolling again if you've let yourself go. If you start dating, then lay off the porn to re-sensitize yourself to genuine women, relationships, and "normal" sex. Learn to cook for women, be a good listener, and give good head. Read as much as possible, and limit screen time. Seriously, limit screen time. Come up with a project list and create weekly to-do lists to chip away at them. Adopt a "now or never" mindset. Detailed long-term planning is a waste of time, as life changes so quickly – but you should take the small steps to steer yourself in the right direction for the long-term. Take responsibility for what happens to you in life. Growing up doesn't have to be a bad thing.

level 1

My god grow a pair

level 1

I'm scared to grow up too, after all, I just want to enjoy my time in education while I can. I mean I'm only 16, but it seems like that's not enough for some reason.

level 2
Original Poster4 points · 1 month ago

I'm only 16

You're not supposed to grow up.

level 3

I kinda do. I'm a lazy shit sometimes and procrastinate way too much. I just need to start doing shit. I'll regret it later otherwise.

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