I finished college last month. I spent most of it not studying, and wasting my time on the Internet. Now that it's over, I am expected by my family to get a job. I don't want to get a job. I don't want to grow up and have to go to work. I want to stay a student forever, where I can wake up at 9, get back from class by 2(and skip class whenever I feel like it), and spend the rest of my time posting on reddit and 4chan. I have spent much of the last four years living almost a basement-dweller kind of lifestyle: watching porn almost everyday, posting nonstop on reddit and 4chan, and playing video games. Once in a while I would manage to turn off the PC go out and hang out with my friends. Somehow, I've managed to maintain a decent CGPA with all this which while not sky high is much better than what I think I deserve.
Now that college has ended, I almost feel depressed. The idea that I gotta start applying for jobs, that I will now need to go out into the real world, find work, make money and deal with other adults like a man has saddened me beyond description. I want it to start all over again, go back to the first day of first year, meet new cool people, get drunk, sit and chat with my buddies after class without a care in the world.
I know this is not how it ought to be, and to be fair I did not particularly enjoy my lifestyle - I was just used to it. Often after masturbating I would be surrounded by a profound sense of despair and guilt, but I was helpless to do anything about it. Shouldn't I be happy that college has finally ended, and now I have a lower chance of relapsing into the shitty life that I led before this? But I am not.
Anyone else in a similar situation?
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