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[–][deleted]  (175 children)

[deleted]

    [–]AnalyzePhish 414 points415 points  (61 children)

    Furthermore search around for sober houses. I'm in the twin cities and there are sober houses that can get you in a furnished room this week for like $450-850 month depending on how much you can spend. Strict no tolerance rules and usually some basic rules of living like keep your room and house clean, go to a couple meetings, limited overnights, curfew, etc. Helped me a lot in early recovery.

    [–]dgram83 109 points110 points  (26 children)

    Sober houses are some of the easiest places to get drugs

    [–]AnalyzePhish 151 points152 points  (17 children)

    It's also really obvious if the company is actually putting effort into the house.

    I've seen some sketchy sober houses that don't look healthy but I managed a top tier one for 8 months.

    I did random and not so random UAs, brethalyzers, and if necessary visits to a laboratory (we had a standing order and could go any time). Checked rooms for cleanliness daily, checked for curfew daily, monitored behavior to notice any odd changes or whatever, etc.

    People did start using in the house but not for more than a couple days till I caught on. Then they got the boot. If they had any best buds in the house I took them to the lab for a full panel monitored UA.

    There's a good and bad version of every product. Do your research before moving in. Same as you would a hotel.

    [–]LaVidaYokel 48 points49 points  (4 children)

    I’m in awe of people like you. Society needs strong but compassionate people, so thank you. Where do you find the confidence and strength to help people who society sees as hopeless and that have such a hard time helping themselves?

    [–]AnalyzePhish 42 points43 points  (2 children)

    They compensated me with free rent, biggest bedroom, and a garage parking spot.

    I left that job January 1st though. It's not impossible but to do it right takes a lot of effort. I was able to do the first half because I was excited, second half because I looked at it as a job. Decided to leave because I no longer felt I was being adequately compensated.

    I'm in recovery as well so that was kind of a big part of it.

    [–]venom8599 12 points13 points  (11 children)

    Just curious how giving people the boot from sober houses works in regards to things like tennant rights that spell out procedures for eviction that might last 30-90 days or so and require an eviction hearing, etc? AFAIK that stuff can't just be waived in a contract (or every lease ever would just have waivers).

    [–]AnalyzePhish 29 points30 points  (10 children)

    It absolutely is waived in the contract. All residents have no tenants rights whatsoever. It's in bold on the front page.

    It's different because it is legally a therapeutic group home and use of drugs or alcohol is damaging to the treatment and recovery of other residents.

    We've had plenty of people go on and on about suing the company. So far none have tried. If they did the court case would be open and shut.

    Also the residents don't bring furniture so move outs usually aren't a huge hassle. It's a short term living situation. (6months-couple years).

    When giving them the boot it depended on their level of intoxication and attitude.

    Very messed up and maybe a health risk to themselves or others = call emergency contact and potentially 911.

    Intoxicated but cordial and not dangerous = they have to get out asap but I'll drive them anywhere within a half hour and let them pack an overnight bag.

    Also once they leave they have 48 hours to collect their property, they must be sober or send someone sober on their behalf. And it must be an agreeable time for the house manager (not 330am for example).

    [–]hotdancingtuna 9 points10 points  (0 children)

    it depends on the house. ive been living in a 3/4 house in SW PA for six months now, the vast majority of the women who have also lived here are committed to their recovery. the ones who are not typically get kicked out relatively quickly.

    [–]G-III 67 points68 points  (25 children)

    As someone who rents a 1 bedroom and lives in a living room, that is still more than I pay for rent. Not that I do drugs, just worth a mention. I guess location matters

    [–]AnalyzePhish 65 points66 points  (18 children)

    Well the upside is it's fully furnished and rent includes utilities and they usually have short term contracts so it's kind of ideal for people with substance abuse problems particularly who don't have anything.

    Also yes location does matter. It's very difficult to find a 1bedroom in the metro areas of St. Paul or Minneapolis for less than $700/month not including utilities or furniture. (Not including gov't subsidized housing, that might be cheaper)

    [–]Anon2SoMany 60 points61 points  (13 children)

    The whole point of a sober house is less about the amount of rent paid and more about having a supervised, structured environment, with a lot of personal accountability thrown in. In my area, they often front you the first month’s rent because they realize that most newly-sober people don’t have jobs. If that’s the case, you’re expected to spend eight hours a day looking for work. You also spend the first 14-30 days on “blackout,” which means no phone calls, no visitors, not allowed to leave the house unless it’s to go to work or a meeting. As stated above, you’re expected to keep your room tidy, and cooking, cleaning the house are assigned on a weekly basis. Attendance at 3-4 meetings per week is a standard requirement, as is submitting to random drug screens and having/getting an AA/NA sponsor. They’re an ideal setting for people trying to get back on their feet. Families are often too wary to take the person back in right away, and coming up with all the $$$ for a place of their own is simply out of the question. Sober houses unite struggling people at a critical point in their lives, giving them mutual support when they need it most.

    [–]Mindracer1 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    Sober houses vary a lot and on the lenient end it's nothing more than renting a room and taking weekly drug tests. I have an 11pm curfew and one overnight a week unless I'm going to see family or on a trip at which point it's very flexible. There was no 'blackout' period.

    Everyone is supposed to attend a minimum of three 12 step meetings a week but I don't have to as I object on religious grounds. The Supreme Court has ruled that 12 step programs are religious.

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (8 children)

    what helped me in sober living was that most everybody was so fucking far gone that i did not want to end up like them.

    [–]frietsau5 435 points436 points  (221 children)

    What's prison like? Is it boring? What did you do to keep busy? Also, how did you get in touch with Oxycontin?

    [–]valuum[S] 909 points910 points  (82 children)

    I was prescribed Vicodin for a bullshit eye infection when I was 15. First time I ever got high and I LOVED it. I didn't meet people that did drugs until a year later and I sought out opiates because I knew how they made me feel. I got Oxies from black dudes in the hood that knew old ladies that were prescribed them. It was a very common hustle for older women in the hood who were struggling with money.

    [–]apost54 109 points110 points  (1 child)

    “They got me locked up in here” - South Park episode about nursing home residents selling opioids

    [–]CroneRaisedMaiden 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    Old people just fucking love Hummels okay

    [–]jrm2007 191 points192 points  (41 children)

    I have heard that is the/a major source of opiates: people stealing like from their grandmas -- made me stop even considering buying pills.

    [–]tesseract4 243 points244 points  (18 children)

    While that also certainly happens, I think he was saying that the grandmas were selling them because they needed the money.

    [–]Aumnix 60 points61 points  (1 child)

    They get prescribed pain meds they don't like to take but keep getting the scripts and they sell them at half the price of what a street dealer would sell them at, or sell the whole pill bottle at a quick discount price.

    [–][deleted]  (5 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]TubaJesus 53 points54 points  (13 children)

      I find our two reactions to Vicodin amusing. I got it for my wisdom tooth removal and after a week I gave up(it was a three week prescription) because it wasn't doing jack and the ibuprofen was a more effective pain reliever.

      [–]YouNeverReallyKnow2 27 points28 points  (5 children)

      Me too, turns out I have a high tolerance for certain painkillers while I’m an extreme light weight for things like alcohol.

      [–]mosler 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      same experience here

      [–]ethjstob 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Ibuprofen is typically a better option for that kind of pain anyway. Helps with inflammation as well while opiates/acetaminophen does not

      [–]philomexa 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Same. I found Vicodin didn't do shit for the pain but made me constipated and irritable.

      [–]akslavok 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      Just a minute. A family doctor prescribed you Vicodin for an eye infection? Holy hell! I have had a chronic pain condition for over 30 years. Debilitating for the last decade. Was only prescribed the weakest opiates (Tylenol 3) 4 years ago. After 26 documented years of constant pain.
      And this explains why it was so hard for me and others like me to get appropriate medical care. I feel strong angry feelings towards doctors and patients that abuse the medical system and prescriptions.

      [–]valuum[S] 640 points641 points  (136 children)

      County jail is boring. Four walls just staring at you. In county jail you look up at the TV and Transformers is on. You read your book, play a few games of cards, write a letter to your girl, call home, take a shower, jerk off, take a shit, talk with your friend, wash your clothes, then look up... and the same fucking movie is still on TV... it's only been 40 minutes.

      A day in prison for me went like this:

      Wake up at 10:30am or so, make a quick cup of coffee before count at 11. You have to be inside your cube for count which runs for like an hour. At noon when yard opened I'd go eat lunch. After that yard was open until 4. I'd hang out with friends, play sports, whatever. Count again then dinner. At night yard I would usually get my workout in for most of the time, then bullshit with my friends and walk laps for the rest of yard until 9:30. The best shows usually come on at 10pm so I'd watch something like Sons of Anarchy or Breaking Bad until 11pm. Adult swim until midnight which is when they make you shut your TV off. The COs would do a round and we'd smoke a cigarette or weed if we had it. Then I'd usually read for an hour. I made a GIANT post about books in prison, you might be able to see it in my history. Some nazi mod removed it though I think.

      [–]PM_ME_YOUR_HANDCUFFS 193 points194 points  (78 children)

      It's kind of interesting that inmates see it as boring too. I work as a CO and sometimes this job is SUPER boring.

      [–]dumb_college_student 16 points17 points  (4 children)

      Same! I'm a night shift supervisor working 1800 to 0600 in a rural county jail. If the deputys don't bring anyone in the nights can get really slow and with a relatively small number of inmates usually 200-300 total it can be pretty boring sometimes.

      [–]Stabzwell 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Can confirm...transformers will be on

      [–]123fakerusty 191 points192 points  (22 children)

      You slept in until 10:30 am? Man prison life seems pretty sweet.

      [–]BrautanGud 125 points126 points  (15 children)

      Unless you are assigned to a work detail which requires your services. Road crews, farm laborers, mechanics get up and out fairly early.

      [–]strigoi82 142 points143 points  (13 children)

      Even then, they get up at a reasonable time (not before 6am and usually later). Work positions are also very sought after for several reasons. They pay you, which is a big deal if you have no one sending you money. The pay is absolutely an insult, but when you have no expenses it’s 100% your money

      Work inmates also have a lot more freedom, they get to leave the compound which is a big deal. Depending on the prison and atmosphere, this could also mean you have access to drugs and other contraband, which has large benefits.

      The prison in my county had a relatively no-nonsense work crew though. The guys worked hard for those positions and were not looking to screw it up and potentially get a conveyance charge

      In any case, the guards almost always treat you better. They spend more time with you and get to know you better, they go with you outside the fence and they will let more stuff slide. If you were in long enough to get a work position, they also know you are non-violent

      [–]Nebraskan- 32 points33 points  (1 child)

      Eh, I know an inmate who gets woken up at 2 am for the 2:30 bus over to max security to make breakfast. They bus them over to max because they finally gave up on the maximum security inmates not fighting in the kitchen.

      [–]strigoi82 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Yeah it varies widely by jail/county and state as to what jobs are available and how shitty they are. I know inmates at Rikers are sometimes sent to Hart Island to add bodies to the mass graves of the indignant or unclaimed bodies.

      Not that that’s a bad job. You would get to see an area almost no one else will ever. It just demonstrates the varieties of tasks inmates are asked to do

      Jails and prisons in the south seem to be pretty much modern day slaver. Even more so if the prison is privately ran

      [–]ED1CT 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      MDOC has no forced jobs, you work if you want to.

      [–]AnalyzePhish 126 points127 points  (3 children)

      Prison life is not "cool" ok, and this office is way better than prison. In prison they have frickin dementors okay??

      [–]letsplaysomegolf 28 points29 points  (2 children)

      Thanks, Prison Mike.

      [–]PsychedelicGoat42 30 points31 points  (3 children)

      I currently work at a county jail and your description sounds spot on. But I’ve always wondered...if you have a cell mate how do you jack off? Do you ask the other person to leave the room during the day or try to quietly masturbate at night?

      [–]JavaleMcGee123 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      Where would you get weed in prison?

      [–]ReeferReekinRight 779 points780 points  (65 children)

      Sorry if this is long, but we're way to similar... I've also been struggling for 2 years to get clean. Though I had a script of narcotics for 6 years and then was suddenly let go due to my doctor getting suspended for smoking bud..

      Thankfully I've had a good support system but heroin destroyed me in everyway imaginable. It wasn't till last year that I got back on my maintenance medicine, Suboxone.

      Here in Ohio it's especially bad. Everyone knows someone who's using or OD'd. So bad here that the cops let me go twice and just confiscated the heroin I had. It's such a lost cause here sadly. We just got full body x-rays installed in county, only for 3 inmate's to OD 4 days later

      Question is, do you guys have the scanners yet? Also for your own well being have you wiped your numbers and stopped hanging out with the same people you use to use with? That's super important!

      Edit: please keep yourself busy during these times, write till you can't move your hands. Right now is very dangerous, your tolerance has dropped and if you do relapse your chances of overdosing drastically increase! Please, for us man

      Last edit for op: I wanted to share a tid bit from a great book Chasing the Scream. This is a YouTube clip on why rehab is such a failure and just a great little watch

      [–]PM_ME_COSPLAY_NUDEZ 351 points352 points  (20 children)

      I can vouch for the note on OH. I stopped counting kids from my high school graduating class at 13. Makes me sick. Seems to be getting better here, or maybe people are dying faster than new folk can get addicted.

      A shame...heroin ruined me and this Feb. will be 4 years clean.

      [–]juicyfizz 41 points42 points  (8 children)

      Also agree about Ohio. Grew up in southern Ohio which seems to be the epicenter of the opioid crisis. My mom is a nurse down there still and her stories make me sick. I know so many people from high school who have ODed or are in prison.

      [–]Heddron 26 points27 points  (2 children)

      4 years! Wow! Great job. Keep it up!

      [–]taxemic 91 points92 points  (21 children)

      I've lived in Ohio all my life and I am really astounded by the severity of the heroin epidemic going on. As a result I avoid any type of pain medication I can honestly. Unless I am lying on the pavement bleeding out I don't even want to fuck with anything so addictive.

      [–]ReeferReekinRight 73 points74 points  (2 children)

      That's a great mentality, if I would've been aware of the devastation and life changing side effects I would've stayed the hell away. However my doctor at the time gave them to me like candy and I was completely unaware of what was ahead.

      My life will never be the same again. My neurotransmitters are so beyond wrecked and still to this day I don't feel any of my reward system. I have negative libido, and my mental health is scary to say the least. If my fiance wasn't the most amazing person I'd ever met I know I'd be six feet under. Family gives up on you after they find out, the stigma years ago was as if you're already dead and a piece of shit. Lost everyone I cared for and by grace of god she crossed my path and it's been the best three years.

      If only we could file a class action lawsuit against Purdue Pharmaceuticals for their lies and ruining so many lives only to make a buck..

      [–]unidunicorn 6 points7 points  (11 children)

      I wonder what is it that seems to make American culture so much more drawn to opiates and stuff. Im in south america and I can get tons of pain medication without prescription at the drugstore (except actual opiates), but I don’t know anyone that does that. Crack seems to be the prevalent drug here, maybe because its dirt cheap. I was an exchange student in the US and had a really bad cavity that needed a root canal. I had brought some pain meds with me from my country just in case, so I was on them when I went to the dentist. He asked me if I needed a prescription and said he was surprised about how calm I was, I should have been screaming in pain. Totally forgetting about how much of a big deal it is in the US, I told him I took some pain meds and he immediately asked me how I got them and stuff. Once I clarified I got them from home, he stopped interrogating me and said “they must’ve been good ones, to ease that kind of pain.” On my way out his secretary asked me if I could hook her up with some. I was like “Wtf???” I know it’s a thing, but I still don’t get it. It made my tooth stop hurting, but its not like I was tripping or anything! How would people get hooked up on that if they are not in physical pain????

      [–]Violetsmommy 26 points27 points  (8 children)

      Another recovering heroin addict from Ohio checking in. Had over 4 years clean, relapsed and subsequently OD’d last February so coming up on my one year sobriety date. The struggle is real, and so many friends have died. An ex of mine that I was still close with died about a month after my relapse, which he helped me through. Devastating drug. Stay strong all, and I’m here if anyone ever needs a friend or just to vent.

      [–]Anon2SoMany 47 points48 points  (2 children)

      My husband and I were just having this debate- whether rehabs should warn people of this. It would save some lives, OTOH, it would also convey the message that they expect some people to relapse.

      So, so, so sad... our next-door neighbor’s 25-YO son died two days after Christmas. He did a month in rehab over the summer, then was in a recovery house which let him come home for the holidays. His mom told me the police found three empty heroin bags in his room (he never used a needle, always snorted). For those of you who don’t know, three bags is NOTHING- around here, it’s $15 worth, and for perspective, my BIL recently went to rehab for a 24-bag-a-day habit.

      [–]ReeferReekinRight 30 points31 points  (0 children)

      Gosh I'm sorry to hear that, sadly that's the story far to often. Said person is doing great, so great that their loved ones give them some freedom and all it takes is to drive past the old bus stop to trigger that fiend in you.

      "Oh that's the place I always scored, bet my dude still lives around the block"

      Then you think I can handle this little baggy here, I used to do 3x this amount in a sitting.

      If you're lucky you wake up from an EMT with narcan, and sadly that cycle repeats until your lips stay blue.

      Again, sorry to hear. I'm praying I also don't end up in the obituaries anytime soon

      Edit: I'm going to find a video I want you to watch. It's about treatments and why typical rehab never works in most cases. Best advice I can tell you, love your BIL. He is ashamed and hates himself already. Being mad at him and isolating someone in this point in their lives is a recipe for disaster

      [–]robbyalaska907420 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      My best friend Od'd in his parents house, about a week after thanksgiving 2016. He had been getting clean, FINALLY, but he fucked up and decided to get high ONE LAST TIME.

      I still think about it everyday.

      As someone who has been through rehab 3 times, for heroin/opiates especially, I can tell you that the therapists and other care-workers I had were not shy about facts like this. Addicts are aware that their tolerance is lower after getting clean, and they know the risk of OD is higher after a time of abstinence. It just doesn't help some people. I remember that one therapist would frequently tell us that out of every 100 heroin addicts, something like 90 of them would die from their addiction eventually. I guess the hope is that the patients will be scared enough to stop craving the drugs, but it doesn't usually work like that.

      Rest in peace to all the homies that left us because they had a lapse in judgement a while after getting clean.

      [–]odenihy 140 points141 points  (12 children)

      What security level was your prison (or section of the prison)?

      Does Michigan have different security levels, and what are those?

      Thanks!

      [–]valuum[S] 323 points324 points  (11 children)

      Level 1. Michigan has 1 - When yard is open you can go in and out as you please, 8 man cube setting 2 - 2 man cell. Controlled movement, which means when they call "yard out" you have to go out, or stay inside. You can't just walk back an dforth in and out.

      no level 3

      4 - Locked in your cell 23 hours a day

      5 aka IMAX - locked in 24 hours a day.

      [–]Robots_Never_Die 381 points382 points  (8 children)

      • Level 1 - 8 man cube setting. When yard is open you can go in and out as you please. (Michigan has 1 Level 1)

      • Level 2 - 2 man cell. Controlled movement, which means when they call "yard out" you have to go out, or stay inside. You can't just walk back and forth in and out.

      • No level 3

      • Level 4 - Locked in your cell 23 hours a day

      • Level 5 aka MAX - Locked in 24 hours a day.

       

      Fixed formatting

      [–]Desmond_Jones 107 points108 points  (0 children)

      good bot

      [–]DietCokaine 91 points92 points  (0 children)

      You gonna get shanked in the showers for dissin him like that

      [–]vagabond139 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Good bot.

      [–][deleted]  (14 children)

      [deleted]

        [–]xP_F0X 47 points48 points  (8 children)

        90% of the kids I was in juvenile detention with could barely read, meanwhile I found the book that changed my life there. I feel like it would be really hard to think critically or analyze the world around you as well as know what you want without that ability and I think that's part of the problem with alot of the kids there.

        Side story.

        Any kid who spoke up about anything there was beaten and abused. Im still sickened to my stomach to this day thinking about the beating I witnessed there. For example, a kid was building a 3D puzzle of parliament for hours. A counselor walks in smacks it off the table and steps on it because the penguins lost a hockey game. The kid understandably upset asked why he did that, the guy immediately throws his desk over throws the kid out the door and beats the shit out of him. 15 minutes later the kid comes in balling his eyes out with two black eyes.

        Yet each of us have a packet that was signed by everyone from the state explicitly detailing how our lives should be there and how the counselors were to treat us kids. I was the only one there who read it or maybe even could read. I started highlighting sections and putting dates, times, and names to document some of what was going on.

        My packet mysteriously vanished and the next day I was released early. I saw my packet in the garbage on the way out.

        Hopefully you are there to help, honestly being there to do even just that is much more than a lot of people do for those kids in that same authority role.

        [–]VmVortex 6 points7 points  (1 child)

        Jesus man pens fans... no seriously though that’s fucked. No one should have to go though that.

        [–]catcaste 45 points46 points  (1 child)

        I'm obviously not OP but as an adult who had a rough as fuck childhood and probably would be in jail if I lived in the US. I think you should try and learn about mindfulness and CBT/DBT related skills, maybe try and do a course in them so you can teach them to the kids you're helping. Proper healthy coping mechanisms are extremely important to learn and a lack of them is common in abused kids.

        [–]ebrizzlle 445 points446 points  (227 children)

        Is it difficult to stay clean in prison? Are the services given to you in prison to stay clean effective? Are some groups in prison easier or better to be around to help you keep clean? (religious inmates?)

        [–]valuum[S] 1100 points1101 points  (226 children)

        Yes, because there are drugs everywhere and when you come from money like me people will front you ANYTHING you want. I've been $1k in debt before and the people weren't even worried about me paying. Drugs are so expensive in prison though it's hard to have a -real- habit. A gram of heroin is like $1k, a gram of weed maybe $100. That's buying in bulk though. A $10 fold of weed is maybe 0.05 grams. It's the stuff you would wipe off your shirt when rolling a joint in the world.

        NA in prison is a fucking joke. People take it just to get the certificate and show the parole board. The guy that ran NA was in my cube (8 man cell where the walls only go like 8 feet high inside a giant polebarn) and we used to get high together all the time. We would shoot suboxone and heroin. He smoked weed with me a few times too.

        It's funny what you say about religious inmates. You must not know about prison culture. Religious inmates = pedophiles. Most people I knew that were actually religious wouldn't even go to church services because it was all chomos. The sex offender unit was next to the school building where church was held. When church let out you'd see a line of a hundred sex offenders walking like ants from church back to their unit.

        EDIT: Thanks for the first question, homie!

        [–]eaturpineapples 293 points294 points  (106 children)

        This comment actually really surprises me because I always thought debt was a huge deal in prison.

        [–]valuum[S] 372 points373 points  (103 children)

        It is a huge deal, I was just always able to pay. Imma catch some sleep though guys! I promise to reply to every question.

        [–]CutieKellie 122 points123 points  (71 children)

        If you come from money, why are you living in a crack motel?

        [–]valuum[S] 186 points187 points  (16 children)

        My grandparents are millionaires. I moved to Ypsilanti to get away from saginaw and stay clean. They pay for my motel after i moved out of he sober house

        [–]CutieKellie 28 points29 points  (0 children)

        Makes sense. I wasn’t trying to judge you at all.

        [–]tesseract4 80 points81 points  (37 children)

        I'm guessing he comes from money relative to most of the prison population.

        [–]TheCrestlineKid 85 points86 points  (10 children)

        Coming from money doesn't mean his parents gave him a trust fund dude.

        [–]Anon2SoMany 163 points164 points  (19 children)

        Just created this throwaway account- you’ll see why. I hope you’ll see this when you wake up. I’ve been exactly where you are and can tell you that you never have to feel this way again! I was prescribed opiates for dental surgery and loved them immediately; the love of my life almost ruined my life and I couldn’t picture a life without them. When I was in jail, AA, not NA, was offered. I’ve tried them both and stuck with AA- it’s more hard-core, there are more people with more long-term sobriety-in my experience. In my area, if you call the local AA office, even off-hours, your call will be answered by someone who will tell you where and when the next meeting is in your area. If the person is feeling particularly helpful, they might even offer to pick you up or meet you there- I’ve done that myself. If you’re near a big city, there are “clubhouses” that are open all day, with meetings every 2-3 hours. Newly-sober people tend to hang out there- making new sober friends and getting through those early tough times together. I’d recommend that for you- a new and different “people, places, and things” than the crack motel, right?

        Substance abuse disorder is a diagnosable illness which affects 18% of the population. It is not a failing of morals, willpower, character, common sense, nor any labels associated with “choice” that have been attached to it. Once a mind- or mood-altering substance has been ingested by an individual who suffers from this disease, an uncontrollable craving and obsession for more is created through brain chemistry which is just now beginning to be understood. The trick for you, my friend, is first to learn how to stay away from that first one! It can be done, and I and thousands like me are living proof of that!

        Since this is an AMA, this is my question: will you call your local AA office, get the meeting schedule, and attend a meeting by the end of the day?

        [–]cookiethumpthump 39 points40 points  (2 children)

        For anyone looking for AA meetings who doesn't want to call, here's the website. You'll be able to find every meeting in your area if you start from this page.

        https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/find-aa-resources

        [–]Anon2SoMany 16 points17 points  (1 child)

        Thought about posting a link myself but making a call is ‘good practice for picking up that 500-pound phone,’ as we say

        [–]MondayMonkey1 25 points26 points  (1 child)

        How do people get away with smoking weed in prison? You'd think someone would smell it?

        [–]PrisonBull 11 points12 points  (0 children)

        We do.

        [–]Bandimore 88 points89 points  (20 children)

        It's funny you say that about religion in prison. I worked as a C/O for a few years in WA state, and we all hated having to work in the chapel due to all the chimos wanting to chat us up.

        What's interesting though is all the undercover chimos who would get gang tats and pretend they were hard. I remember one guy who had "white rage" tatted on his arms, only to find out he had molested his 4 year old daughter. It was pretty funny watching him have to start going to the SOTP, since everyone in the yard can see the walk of shame.

        [–]Astilaroth 23 points24 points  (10 children)

        What does SOTP stand for?

        [–]Bandimore 73 points74 points  (9 children)

        Sorry for the acronym. SOTP stand for Sex Offender Treatment Program.

        SOTP's haven't been shown to work, since there probably isn't much you can do to change someones sexual urges. One of the fucked up things about it is that inmates in SOTP would write about their crimes/fantasies, and trade those stories for store items. It's pretty tough to catch doing a cell search, but I've read some really dark shit.

        [–]akslavok 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        I would sadly have to agree with this. Used to be a social worker that dealt with sex offenders. I left the profession because I truly believe that it can’t be changed. I do think that it can be caused by being sexually abused as a child, drug/alcohol abuse, ramping up what kinds of porn you view. But for some, I think it is hard-wired. Like being a serial killer or psychopath. Genetic flaws do happen.

        [–]nanooz 40 points41 points  (0 children)

        I thought you said that SOTP stood for "sorry for the acronym" and spent like 5 minutes trying to peace that together before i got further into your sentence and it all made sence. I feel like i have been fooled.

        [–]Astilaroth 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        Ugh. I work with kids ... wouldn't want to trade with you.

        Is it true that they're always kept seperated from the general population for their own safety?

        What's it like amongt their own ranks, is it the other way around perhaps, the sicker the crime the higher standing? Or are for example gay child abusers looked down on while straight ones aren't?

        [–]valuum[S] 28 points29 points  (2 children)

        The walk of shame! Hahaha! They made E Unit sex offender only for "SOP" which is sounds like your SOTP. We saw guys we'd NEVER think had those kinds of cases do the walk of shame across the yard with their tote.

        [–]hotdancingtuna 13 points14 points  (2 children)

        why do they all get religion in jail/prison? whats the advantage or appeal for them?

        [–]rahtin 46 points47 points  (1 child)

        Probably just a safe place for them to congregate.

        I'm sure hanging out by the free weights, chatting about fucking kids isn't good for your health.

        [–]Bandimore 17 points18 points  (0 children)

        Exactly this. Program areas are closely monitored due to non-custody staff working in the area, and are harder to sneak weapons in.

        In the institution I worked at Sex Offenders were relegated to small portion of the yard, and were never spotted in the weight cage.

        [–]CSHooligan 23 points24 points  (15 children)

        Serious question, where do people do drugs in prison? Like how do y'all manage to smoke weed without getting caught?

        [–]MenShouldntHaveCats 23 points24 points  (5 children)

        So what you do is. First you ‘pump the toilet’. You take your mattress put it on top and bounce on it. Causes negative pressure then you blow the smoke in it. Then you use your ‘air freshener’. Which is soap in a sock and start hitting it against the wall.

        [–]282828287272 6 points7 points  (0 children)

        In your cell or on the yard. Look at the ratio of guards to prisoners. They can't watch everyone all the time.

        [–]ebrizzlle 65 points66 points  (31 children)

        The only thing I know about prison is what I've seen from the show Oz. So I know nothing. Im not religious, Im just curious if they are more or less likely to use religiobln as a crutch.

        It doesn't seem like they're really doing anything(not surpising). So what do you think they should be doing? What do people need on the inside to help them? What can prisons reasonably do to help people who want to be helped?

        [–]valuum[S] 305 points306 points  (27 children)

        Oz is awesome! Child molesters almost always go to religion. In county jail a lot of people read like 2 sentences out of the bible a night. I never understood this.

        Most people in prison are scum, just being honest. They don't want to change. I think they should offer more vocational training and education. For the few people that DO want to change there aren't many resources. My friend was a tutor in prison (worlds hardest job, the lady that taught Helen Keller had an easier job than teaching these morons) and he said there were guys that had been in the GED class for 5+ years. They refuse to do the work. People that aren't retarded finish it in a matter of weeks. A lot of guys will literally go to the class for years without doing work instead of just getting it over with. I don't get why because I believe you have to sit in the class like 4 or 5 hours a week, even if you don't want to. So why not just get it finished.

        [–]petrichorally 115 points116 points  (4 children)

        During my extremely brief time in university (I dropped out), my sociology professor talked about this. He used to work in Boston in a prison doing rehabilitation, specifically offering free college courses to people in prison so they had a better chance of finding something to do with their lives when they got out. He gave us this whole talk on the prison system we have here, he said especially in California, it used to be one of the best prison systems in the world. We offered so much more in terms of rehabilitation. But people decided it cost too much money so they cut all those programs. What people fail to realize is it costs more NOT to rehabilitate those who want it, for those who really do want an education and do want to change, because once you get out, it's impossible to find a job or a place to live, and so they turn to crime again.

        [–]OCedHrt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

        Yes but when that happens it's another party's problem.

        [–]springsprint 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Sad but true.

        [–]_Jolly_ 51 points52 points  (1 child)

        Maybe they are using it as a form of escapism. They know if they finish then they won’t get to come back.

        [–]Zero765 38 points39 points  (8 children)

        They sign up for classes so they don't have to hold a job. While you in school you don't have work. Additionally they give you school supplies such as paper and pens, so you don't have to spend your own money on em. To a lot of people it's not about the long term helpfulness but about what you get right now.

        [–]Where_You_Want_To_Be 25 points26 points  (6 children)

        Pretty much 99% of the prison/jail population only thinks about "what they need right now," which is part of why they are in prison or jail.

        [–]AlternativeJosh 30 points31 points  (0 children)

        I was a GED tutor in the feds. I was once threatened "because algebra".

        You understand.

        [–]Innundator 47 points48 points  (2 children)

        This is how my attempts at post-secondary school have gone, so far. I think in me it has something to do with a fear of success. Like - now what? It's something that the inmates know they 'could' do if they wanted to - so despite being 'stuck' its sort of a stuckness wherein someone can convince themselves they're in control when they're not.

        [–]Ozymander 79 points80 points  (2 children)

        Wanna talk about how we can solve this problem by getting rid of the war on drugs?

        Yeah I want you to stay clean, but you shouldn't be threatened with jail each time you relapse. It only makes relapse even more certain. Jail for drugs in America is probably the most immoral thing the justice system doles out En masse. I understand jailing the people who commit crime, but drugs should be legal, even if many of them are dangerous and addictive. We'd certainly benefit economically changing our approach, and ruin a lot less lives.

        Stay clean, though, brother. Easier said then done.

        [–]jaxtin 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        How did you get rigs in jail, or did you fashion them from pens?

        [–]24Reference 290 points291 points  (46 children)

        Has your time in prison effected the way you view the outside world?

        [–]valuum[S] 1015 points1016 points  (45 children)

        I was kind of racist for a while when I came home. Being white you are targeted. I also think people cry too much over small things. You know how miserable it is to be dope sick on a concrete floor? Knowing you're going to prison?

        Also it made me view racism in an interesting perspective. Blacks run michigan prisons and victimize white people. Do they do it because they're black? No, because I'm sure if white people ran prison they would do the same thing back. I feel like it's almost human nature for the dominant group to try to hold back others.

        [–]Innundator 557 points558 points  (16 children)

        People cry whenever they are exposed to something that hurts to a certain threshold. They have lower thresholds than you do, that's all. Their pain is still the same, though - it's like arguing that someone who can only lift 50lbs 'shouldn't' feel pain even though their muscles max out at 50lbs. You can lift 150lbs, so they should only experience 1/3 the pain, right?

        It obviously doesn't work like that. Think of yourself as having a lot of emotional control that other people don't have, and that your experiences have really trained your brain to with-stand a lot. That's a gift you can tap into, a silver lining I think to the whole experience.

        But don't undermine other peoples pain, always remember the weight lifting analogy and keep in mind that you have stronger mental 'pain muscles' so to speak, if that helps.

        [–]electromagnetiK 99 points100 points  (3 children)

        You put it perfectly. This is something I have only recently come to understand. It's a difficult lesson to learn, but it is so important. Thanks for writing that out, I hope a lot of people read it and give it some solid thought.

        [–]Innundator 33 points34 points  (0 children)

        Thanks :) I find it's a difficult lesson to learn because it's very comforting to believe that everyone around us is more capable than they are and that they're choosing to be incapable. What - they actually have less control over themselves than I do?

        ...does this mean I'm an adult now? Oh, crap.

        [–]adamv123321 8 points9 points  (0 children)

        Just wanted to say I believe in you and I hope the best in your future. You can do this.

        [–]Yankeehat2 212 points213 points  (16 children)

        what group where you the most afraid of ?

        [–]valuum[S] 516 points517 points  (15 children)

        I mean, no one really. I didn't put myself into too many problems. I guess the black muslims because they run prison and there's like 500 of them on a 1700 man yard.

        [–]cosmical_escapist 173 points174 points  (10 children)

        Muslim groups in prison are disproportionally large compared to the Muslim population in US. There is an interesting reason for that.

        When you get into a prison, most of the time you will join some group. Some do it for protection and some join out of boredom. You can join a group based on geography (city/state/country), color or gang affiliation. Most groups must vet the new members. For a group to be respected it must not have snitches or chomos (CHoMO=CHild MOlester). If you one of those, then depending on the prison, you could be forced to check in or ...

        Now let's get back to Islam. When you convert to Islam you recite the Shahada and wash your face to wash away your sins. Once you did it, no Muslim will ever criticize you over your previous deeds and will always support you no matter what you did in the past.

        Two groups of people found that this can help them a lot! Snitches and chomos cannot join any group without showing their papers, except the Muslim group. The Muslims will not check their papers and they will also give the new recruits new Muslim names (making it harder for others to research new people). There might be only 10% of real Muslims (those that practiced before prison) in those groups. The real Muslims know about this and they are pissed, but their religion forces them to forgive the new members. But they won't quit the group because they like the protection of a large group (even though majority of it are snitches and pedophiles.)

        It is fun to see a white guy with Christian symbols tattooed all over his arms all of a sudden join Islam :) No, not a snitch :)

        [–]khinzeer 82 points83 points  (0 children)

        What are racial/gang politics like in Michigan prison? Are there organized black groups other than the Muslims? What about Latino and white groups?

        Do the black Muslims run everybody or is it more of a self segregated system? Thanks. Good luck staying free!

        [–]charliepeters586 48 points49 points  (0 children)

        I was at parnall.. samething thing, just don't put yourself into a situation that requires you to be afraid. most level 1's people are trying to go home. they are right there, so to speak.

        [–]Yellowstoner93 18 points19 points  (0 children)

        As a white man in a prison dominated by Black Muslims how did you manage to stay out of trouble and refrain from being targeted?

        In addition, upon entering the facility was it difficult to figure out the do's and don'ts as to not cross any lines?

        [–]HUGSQTFACE 121 points122 points  (10 children)

        Hey there mate! So i am a 28 year old guy from Germany who started working in a stationary "Eingliederungshilfe für Abhänigkeitserkrankte" (social inclusion help for addicted). The social inclusion help in Germany is basically for diabled people with the aim to prevent social impairments to live within society (addiction is viewed as an disability). We are working with the so called Community reinforcmend approach which aim is to boost not drug related social areas of the clients. So my question to you is: What area of your Life(in your opinion) would help you the most to stay away from drug abuse? Is there a certain way in which you dont like to be approached by profefessionals? Sorry for my english and the best of luck to you stay strong

        [–]bodie425 62 points63 points  (4 children)

        God I love German words. LoL. What a mouth full!

        [–]jemkills 11 points12 points  (3 children)

        Not sure if sarcasm but I genuinely do love German words

        [–]bodie425 9 points10 points  (1 child)

        Oh no, def not sarcasm. Well, maybe a little. I love to hear German spoken and love it when I can eek out a coherent sentence.

        [–]TattooedMuscle 23 points24 points  (15 children)

        Is it possible to go to prison and stay pretty clean? By that I mean out of trouble? From both the staff and fellow prisoners? I guess, say you go and mind your own business, stay friendly with people who you find cool, can you avoid being messed with? We always hear stories about people getting raped or beat up. How prevalent is violence if you're not seeking it?

        [–]tking191919 46 points47 points  (10 children)

        Level 1’s, at least where I’m from, are usually two things: 1) sentences 3 1/2 years and under (although they certainly can be longer), and 2) non violent offenders. I’m sure rape and violence do occur on occasion, but they are rare. I mean, youll certainly see fist fights and heated verbal exchanges amongst inmates.. but for the most part, everyone has their release in sight and no one wants to be sent to a more hardcore prison. But at the same time, this is prison. If you mouth off or act like a jackass, you will get your ass beat. Regardless of whether or not people are worried about getting punished.. pride will consistently overcome that. You insult me, I’ll break your fuckin jaw. That kinda thing. However, if you are generally respectful and don’t show obvious weakness (aka make yourself a target), you’ll be fine. Very very small chance that actual violence (including rape) will happen to you. You might see a guy jerkin off. And the first time you have to publicly take a shit in front of your cell is always fun.. I, like OP, was also caught off guard by how prevalent drug use is. The very first night a guy in my cell took out a meth pipe and took just a couple hits. In fact the first thing everyone asked me when I got to my cell was if I brought any drugs. But to answer your questions, you absolutely can avoid being messed with if you’re respectful and don’t put yourself in that position. The only realistic way you’re going to get hurt is if you have debts or if you mouth off - especially in your own cell. Now if you’re in a more serious prison, one with violent offenders and lifers.. that’s a whole different deal.

        Edit: to add: honestly you’ll legitimately even make friends. Once you learn the scope of things and relax, you will see that for the most part no one will fuck with you if you don’t fuck with them. Once that happens you’ll also see a bunch of chill guys who just fucked up like you did. Sure, there will be assholes and some dudes who are just... off.. but just try your best to ignore them. If someone does belittle you, you absolutely need to stand up for yourself. Honestly, even if you don’t, you still probably won’t get physically hurt. But you will be labeled a bitch and that will make your entire experience that much more miserable. You will become a target. Guys will hound you for things like your newer boots or clothing items.. for you to buy them things.. or just to fuck with you in general to pass the time. But on the flip side don’t overcompensate because guys will pick up on that too. If you’re scared, stand up for yourself but don’t try to act like a tough guy that everyone can see through. Because guys will notice and test you. Eventually you will do something stupid to try and remain in charge, and that’s when you’ll get your ass beat. Don’t try to be the top dog, just maintain your ground. Last tip is don’t ask questions if it’s something you can learn from just observation. Taking a shit for example. You will see guys towel themselves off beforehand and how they use the toilet paper. Watch that shit and just do the exact same thing. The less you look like a newbie bitch the better. But at the end of the day, while it may be all scary at first.. that will all fade. Boredom is your true enemy.

        [–]pshep69 8 points9 points  (4 children)

        As some one who has pulled over 15 years and now living free. Tking191919 has given the best answer ive seen. Wish i had gold to give ya.

        [–]Deadpussyfuck 10 points11 points  (0 children)

        Yes. Most people are just trying to do thier time and get out. Absolutely no debts though, thats a pretty big reason people end up hurt. Don't join a gang and don't get in debt. It also helps not to be a mark before you even get in, like a kiddie fiddler. There will be times you will be tested, you have to be tough in those situations, winning or losing a fight is both ideal because inmates know you will fight back.

        [–]Ultrajante 152 points153 points  (25 children)

        Have you seen or experienced sex between inmates? How frequent would you say it is?

        [–]iHateGiraffesALot 162 points163 points  (18 children)

        100% won’t own up to taking a dick in the butt

        [–]EHKOS 66 points67 points  (12 children)

        Why do you hate giraffes so much?

        [–]iHateGiraffesALot 237 points238 points  (11 children)

        They’re fucking long-necked, annoying, purple-tongued, accident prone, stupid deer wannabes. Plus they’re never out when I’m at the zoo. Not that I’d want to see them anyways.

        [–]Signs80 46 points47 points  (5 children)

        Fuck geraffes

        [–]iHateGiraffesALot 14 points15 points  (3 children)

        No. The opposite.

        [–]Habden 20 points21 points  (0 children)

        Seffarig kcuf?

        [–]deeznuts2017 5 points6 points  (1 child)

        100% didn't own up to fucking a giraffe in the butt.

        [–]dbullets93 16 points17 points  (0 children)

        Not op but in my stay in county there was one gay guy in our pod and if someone was interested they’d just go to the showers at the same time. Sometimes give him ramen noodles/coffee afterwards.

        I remember walking in to go take a shower and seeing one guy facing the wall and another set of hands on the wall. Didn’t shower that night.

        Also as far as jail went no one got raped. Not saying it doesn’t happen but I never personally saw it or was afraid anyone would try anything tbh. It’s not really a rape fest like people think.

        [–]milwahkee 105 points106 points  (70 children)

        How does selling drugs through the mail work? How did you end up getting caught? Hope your recovery is successful!

        [–]DOTGO 215 points216 points  (23 children)

        Asking for a friend...

        [–]strigoi82 50 points51 points  (22 children)

        I don’t know how OP was caught, but most drugs in the mail are purchased through darknet markets. Research the classic case of ‘Silk Road’

        [–]Angrysshark 20 points21 points  (21 children)

        You'd be surprised at how many Facebook groups blatantly have people sell illegal drugs. Usually psychedelics.

        [–]strigoi82 53 points54 points  (24 children)

        I can’t speak for OP, but in modern times selling on the darknet and having sloppy (ie; ANY) lapse in security will get you caught selling drugs though the mail.

        See the takedowns of ; Silk Road, AlphaBay , Hansa. It’s very possible OP was caught during these busts, but I’m just speculating

        Back in the old days (2007 and prior) things like hydrocodone, Xanax and other things could be bought rather easily on the ‘clear net’

        [–]abedfilms 8 points9 points  (17 children)

        But how does trust work? Escrow?

        [–]Bucks_trickland 10 points11 points  (4 children)

        There is escrow offered, but most of it is straight up trust. There is a lot of trust on both ends.

        [–]taquitochocolatemilk 19 points20 points  (9 children)

        No, you literally just trusted the sellers. They had ratings and therefore reputations to uphold.

        You could buy the purest fucking drugs on Silk road. It was amazing.

        [–]ThreeLZ 13 points14 points  (3 children)

        for every package that gets caught 1000 more make it through untouched

        [–]strigoi82 5 points6 points  (2 children)

        I don’t disagree, but that doesn’t mean the ones that DO get caught are somehow hand waved away. As a buyer (of personal amounts) , there’s really not much worry. However if you are a vendor, it’s not a matter of IF , it’s a matter of WHEN law enforcement takes an interest in you

        [–]snowfaller 28 points29 points  (15 children)

        You end up getting caught dropping it off at the post office. Postal service investigations are hardcore, and they will get you.

        [–]Yankeehat2 155 points156 points  (55 children)

        did your parents disown you? why are you staying in a crack motel

        [–]Headycrunchy 277 points278 points  (47 children)

        I hate to generalize but iv never met an intravenous junky that wouldn't steal from his parents to get dope.

        [–]BelindaTheGreat 171 points172 points  (15 children)

        Can confirm. I cannot let my daughter into my home for any amount of time unsupervised and most of her family has taken this position. She was a sweet little girl but now she is a monster and would steal my last dime if given the opportunity. (She's a junky.)

        [–]Where_You_Want_To_Be 147 points148 points  (5 children)

        I guess all I can say, from having been on your daughters end, is at least know that she hates herself while she's doing it.

        You are doing the right thing by being tough with her and not allowing her to rob you blind. Also know that it's not your fault. I had great parents who never ever condoned drug use or illegal activity in any way and I still made my own path, and had to deal with my own consequences.

        I'm better now, and life is good, but the junkie mindset is one of misery and shame, and then drug use to cover up that misery and shame.

        [–][deleted]  (1 child)

        [deleted]

          [–]CSHooligan 39 points40 points  (0 children)

          Your daughters still in there somewhere. I'm sorry You have to go through that.

          [–]vonMishka 20 points21 points  (1 child)

          Yup. My cousin just stole his mom’s tv and our 98 year old grandma’s car two nights ago. This is probably like the 200th time.

          [–]ilovethefall 320 points321 points  (187 children)

          Why do you feel it is ridiculous that you got 2 years for violating the terms of probation?

          [–]BrautanGud 109 points110 points  (10 children)

          Recidivism is a huge problem. Oftentimes inmates violate their parole because they are unable to stay removed from the environment that got them into trouble. If you go back to the old neighborhood and hang out with the "homies" it increases your chances for failure greatly.

          [–]Drewbieee 72 points73 points  (0 children)

          Hell yeah it does, and also, think of this: everyone you know is a criminal, you likely are part of some organization, your money and possessions were likely all taken by police or by junkies once they knew you got locked up. If you don’t have family, what do you do? You get out and probably bounce to a weekly meth motel, where it’s literally like impossible to not get caught up in the life. Your entire community, your social partners, your culture, any source of warmth or kindness, all those things are tied to the “bad” lifestyle. you suddenly get dropped out of the sky at your lowest point, alone and told to go build a life somehow. It’s extremely hard to find yourself in that situation and somehow build a life that you struggled to make when you were at your best and had no record. Now your a felon with nothing and anyone who you trust or like are likely felons/criminals as well.

          [–]chaorey 31 points32 points  (8 children)

          That's more of because no one will give you a chance. I've been out of prison for almost 7 years I'm 28 now, and trying to go to a better neighborhood and get an apartment is hard as hell even in semi bad neighborhoods, they don't want fellons.and getting turned down from every half ass deicent job for the same thing. You end up loosing hope and just going back to the same thing doing the same shit and fucking yourself over

          [–]shady647 30 points31 points  (1 child)

          Selling drugs in the mail should be federal law right? Lucky as fuck to only get a short sentence for that

          [–]firemonkey1313 20 points21 points  (1 child)

          Google Mark Kleiman and watch a video of him talking about swift and certain punishment.

          the upshot is, in many places, the first violation isn't getting you put in prison. I fact it's not the second third or fourth either. parole officers are presumably human beings like the rest of us. but if the only tool available to them is to put a guy back in prison for 2 years, they're going to do that after enough violations. it's insane.

          the solution is to punish every violation, but with a much much smaller punishment. like a week or even 2 days in jail. swift and certain. punishment does not need to be draconian.

          [–]TheNewestYorker 157 points158 points  (110 children)

          Would love to see an answer to this, especially considering that he only got six months originally for selling oxy/coke through the mail. 2 years is nothing considering the crime. People die from those drugs every day.

          [–]slipperyfingerss 126 points127 points  (47 children)

          As a person who doesn't have an addictive personality. I have zero reference to understand what it's like for you. I try to be understanding, but fall into the trap of well they should know better thoughts at times. Is there any advice you can give to make me not look like a dick when talking to addicts like yourself?

          [–]flickin_the_bean 195 points196 points  (14 children)

          I’m similar to you. I was prescribed a ton of dilaudid when I had my tonsils out at the age of 30. After a few days I ultimately preferred taking Tylenol because it actually helped the pain as opposed to just making me high. My bf is an opiate addict and he couldn’t believe that I would willingly make that choice.

          Being with an addict who has been mostly clean the last 3 years I can share how I have come to see it as it relates to my partner. He had a fucked up childhood and still deals with a family that he depends on but is also abusive. He was so sheltered and controlled as a child that he didn’t learn coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult emotions and situations so when he went to college he went of the deep end. He found alcohol and then opiates and that became how he dealt (or didn’t) deal with things. On top of this he has depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. He has developed unhealthy patterns of dealing with things and it takes constant attention and self awareness to choose a healthier way of dealing. For me as a non addict I don’t have to make that decision everyday. I just wake up and do my thing and for the most part it’s healthy and functional. For him, he has to choose everyday to NOT go down the addict path. It gets easier over time as the habit of being clean becomes more familiar. But it never goes away. So I stay empathetic by understanding how he got to the point in his life where drugs seemed like the best choice. I have met his mother so I totally get that. I would have done unhealthy things to cope with that woman too. I also know that people struggle with different demons. What’s an easy decision for me, is not for him or any other addict. I try to be less judgmental and more empathetic to the root of the problem.

          My partner chose drugs as a way of coping because it helped with the mental health issues. No one grows up and thinks “you know I just want to do heroin and be constantly high or dope sick while I destroy all relationships in my life and probably do some shady things to get my fix.” Everyone has a different story as to how they ended up where they did and I think that hearing those stories and empathizing with that as opposed to judging the result will help your interactions with addicts.

          Anyway that’s my interpretation of part his experience. Really I will never be able to completely understand what he goes through but I care about him and I try to be patient and understanding.

          [–]FeudingPineapple 50 points51 points  (6 children)

          These are true words of wisdom. You sound like an amazing partner, I hope you understand how much youve helped your boyfriend. The world needs more level headed people like you.

          [–]flickin_the_bean 16 points17 points  (5 children)

          Thank you. It’s the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Especially when he does make decisions that are not on the straight and narrow clean path. But everyone falters, addict or not. As long as he learns and does better he next time, that’s all anyone can hope for in any relationship. His clean time reset a few weeks ago following months of lying to me and abusing his prescribed meds. My faith in his recovery has been shaken but my love for him has been strong. It’s a confusing dichotomy. He is staying in a crappy hotel as we try to figure out where the relationship can go and it’s been really tough. But today we are celebrating as his probation is ending today! Hopefully active addiction is something we can put behind us along with what we dubbed “probation dates”. Where we would go drop off his monthly check in sheets at the PO office. Onwards and upwards!

          [–]Drewbieee 51 points52 points  (4 children)

          This is what I tell people every single day. People who aren’t addicts want to believe they are just stronger/better people than addicts and that addicts did it to themselves/should have been stronger and they could never be addicts themselves. Spoiler alert: no addict on earth started out thinking they would become an addict. No one. So when a “better” person and a friend take a line, neither one thinks they’re risking everything. They both say “addiction happens to them, not me”?

          [–]cyanisis 9 points10 points  (2 children)

          yes but as someone who knows i have poor impulse control, I have intentionally stayed away from things like heroine because I know that for me its likely a one of done scenario. So prevention is the only method.

          [–]snowfaller 29 points30 points  (3 children)

          It's kind of like when you are hungry, and you just have to eat. The process is just way uglier. Addiction hijacks the reward center, which is what is working when you are hungry or horny. Addicts are not fundamentally different from everyone else.

          [–]Morrissey-2 19 points20 points  (2 children)

          But imagine as you eat your stomach gets bigger and bigger. And because of that, you need more food to fill it. And more, and more. Until you either eat yourself to death or decide to try shrink your stomach by reducing your meals. Either choice is a bitch.

          Edit: there are apparently biochemical differences between addicts and non addicts making one more susceptible to abuse if introduced to narcs.

          [–]imnotyour_daddy 92 points93 points  (5 children)

          I appreciate that you're open to trying to understand

          I'm not op but I will say that opiate addiction isn't about personality. There's physical dependence.

          Also there's a lot of government propaganda that all drugs are bad. Many of us have used drugs and discovered we were lied to.

          Also, some of the worst drug abusers are med students to put things into perspective. I suspect that their desire to please others is what keeps them from becoming addicts.

          But ultimately a lot of people become addicted to drugs because they are depressed and drugs give them a little happiness.

          This is a complex issue because not all drugs are the same and not everyone's situation in the same but people like you trying to understand gives me hope. So thank you for that.

          [–]htg2010 36 points37 points  (4 children)

          Some of the worst drug abusers are med students

          You got a source for that. 4 years catholic high school. 4 years undergrad. 4 years med school. 4 years so far of residency. Biggest drug abusers I’ve known were in high school. Unless you’re including alcohol in that statement.

          [–]AgingHippieLiberal 16 points17 points  (0 children)

          As others have stated opiates have a physical dependence so when you’re addicted and don’t take them you get severe flu symptoms, but they also re-wire your brain. Through generations of evolution our brains are designed to flood with “feel good chemicals” when you do something “good” (eat, fuck, accomplish a goal, etc). When you take drugs for a long period of time, these “rewards” no longer do the trick. The drugs you’re taking every day are already providing your brain with a huge rush of these chemicals (more than any action or thought can provide, that’s why you get high) and your body begins to associate the drugs with that feeling instead of what naturally causes it.

          This is why you’ll hear about addicts who had a laundry list of hobbies, used to go out a lot, or whatever, but completely change when they’re addicted. As an example I used to love video games (I still enjoy them to an extent) but now I get bored after just a few hours instead of the 8+ I used to sit and play.

          [–]meowgrrr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

          The way I would describe it is that it's like mosquito bites. It's like when you have a really really itchy mosquito bite, and you know that if you keep scratching it just means it's going to get worse or keep itching forever, and you know that if you force yourself to stop that it's going to be unbearably itchy for a little while but eventually it will stop itching for good. So you know what you should do. But it's just so irresistible to stop. There is such a relief when you scratch.

          And then, there are a spectrum of people: on one end, a person might not be allergic to mosquitos at all, so when they get bit by one, the bite doesn't itch so they don't have to fight any urge to scratch. On the other end is someone who is very allergic to mosquitos and gets an extremely itchy bite. Obviously, it's not about just "will power" comparing two people at opposite ends of this spectrum. It's actually harder for the latter person to overcome the feeling to scratch, obviously someone who doesn't feel an itch isn't going to scratch and someone who does is likely to scratch.

          I think this is what addiction is like, and the difference between a person who doesn't have an addictive personality and someone who does. There is something actually physical going on that makes the urge greater for some people to overcome.

          Edit to ad (i think that is how people put it on reddit? just wanted to ad something I just thought about a million hours later): There are also some people who are severely allergic to only one thing, and people who are allergic to almost everything. While addiction is not literally an allergy, I think it might be similar that some people who suffer from addiction really only have an issue with one thing, but some people with very addictive personalities, might have a propensity for addictions to almost anything (from the obvious like alcohol, pharmaceuticals, street drugs...to even things like gaming, working hard, candy crush lol, being right in an argument, pretty much anything).

          [–]jvanderh 11 points12 points  (2 children)

          Want me to send you a copy (kindle or real, whatev) of the book In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts? Everyone should read it, but especially everyone who's struggling with addiction.

          [–]sccrj888 32 points33 points  (15 children)

          I'm an investigator for a doc in the Southeast and am trying to fix some of the problems in the prison system here (dirty officers, contraband, etc). Talking with me can put inmates in a really bad position. What can I do to overcome this? I want to help and I'm tired of seeing people get hurt or killed. I also feel like I should mention that I'm not a guard, I am a certified police officer and a big part of my job is locking up dirty officers. I hope you stay clean.

          [–]yuccfoo 21 points22 points  (2 children)

          From my experience this is a very tough and almost impossible job.

          As an inmate everyday is routine to the minute for the most part. Food, movement, count etc.

          If you seek inmates out for information, other inmates see you and then said inmate is labeled a snitch. When inmates are summoned places either other inmates notice or dirty corrections officers or guards pass the information about said inmate being summoned.

          Honestly I think one way to approach this would be through email. I know in the feds and DOC a lot of places have email access. That way there’s no physical evidence in an inmates possession to be found.

          For the dirty guards/officers I think having hidden mics/cameras in their areas would be a start. Gaining access to suspected dirty guards cell phones. It’s always the phones man. If you’re really a DOC officer you know this. With the inmates it’s the hard lined phones, with the guards it’s going to be cell phones.

          Bottom line you need a technical advantage.

          Source - Been down enough to know. Had an opiate problem myself and know how fucked it is having drugs in institutions.

          [–]klevenisms204 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          What's the first thing you ate when you got out?

          [–]FatherStorm 5 points6 points  (3 children)

          Prior Felon here. did a total of 7 flat. Recovered and am now making 100K+ it it entirely possible to recover from this and fully make it. the secret is "No Excuses"?. .. If you are able, then you can and will do whatever is necessary, and you will never lay on any excuse as an acceptable reason to stop reaching. Your own decisions led to your present situation, and only your own steely reserve can lead to your future success. You can and only will succeed through an effort equivalent to your earlier poor decisions. I get it. been there, done that, go the T-Shirt,and I don't know your own history, but my history led to several trips to the hole for various issues, from simple defense (With a military background), to active directed offense from a position of leadership. End of the day,... you ain't locked up no more. you have 0.00 excuse. you are out and you have opportunity. DO.. NOT.... waste it.?

          [–]probablykelz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

          What is the biggest culture shock after returning to society? And when you failed you test was it just marijuana or was it harder drugs?

          [–]iravereflex 5 points6 points  (2 children)

          Can i ask where from? I'm from Monroe and the heroin/opiate epidemic around here runs wild

          [–]imnotyour_daddy 24 points25 points  (14 children)

          How'd you get caught? USPS surveillance? Or were you accepting payment through non crypto?

          [–]alishainreallife 6 points7 points  (0 children)

          Whose your favorite author? :)

          [–]Annjellybean 15 points16 points  (9 children)

          Can I be your friend? Maybe we could email back & forth?

          Hey I wish I really knew what to tell you that could really encourage you to stay on your clean path. But I just have my story of how heroin took my brother from me and I hope it can touch you some way. A year ago on Halloween my brother Jr overdosed on various drugs heroin, cocaine, alcohol..while out with his friends. No one called the police and they just took him home to my parents to drop him off. At this point his O2 must have already been very low so that when my mom made them take him to a hospital near our house he started to code as soon as he was there. My brother has an anoxic brain injury, meaning his brain didn't get enough oxygen. He turned 21 this year in a bed. He is what you would call in a vegetative state. Does not communicate and is bed-bound. I really don't think he knew this could happen to him when he was doing drugs, he always assumed he'd just die..not be stuck in this middle place. His story leading up is much like yours.. he'd go to jail and be clean and want to be clean when he got out but drugs in my opinion through bad judgment in friends always found him. I think he couldn't find people to connect with that weren't into drugs. And I regret not knowing how to be there for him as well. He's laying right next to me, and I miss him so much. So my question is, can I be your friend? Can I try to just be a listening ear for you and someone different to talk to?

          [–]johnnymonkey 24 points25 points  (2 children)

          What did you have for breakfast yesterday?

          My oldest son lost his battle with addiction just before Christmas after an 11 year battle. He also served time, thanks to doing stupid shit to feed the addiction.

          I am praying for your parents that they never know what this feels like. I wish you the best in your battle, and I hope you stay clean.

          [–][deleted]  (21 children)

          [deleted]

            [–]valuum[S] 137 points138 points  (12 children)

            I don't get what you're asking. My best friend was a Molenic (sp?) but for the most part I didn't fuck with the black muslims. Many of them are racist towards whites, but definitely not all. I could write a lot about the different muslim groups in prison. They're really just gangs. There is one group, I wanna say The Nation of Islam or the Sunnis that was actually trying to help put the younger black kids on a better path. I really respected them for that despite the fact they hated white people, haha.

            Pookie and RayRay, you aint lying. I do have a job though, I've always kept a job. Thank you for the kidn words.

            [–]snowfaller 31 points32 points  (7 children)

            You need to get the fuck out of the crack motel man. That should be your first priority. You would be better off staying in a shelter, buying a car, and sleeping in there until you get the money to get in somewhere else.

            [–]luzzy91 20 points21 points  (5 children)

            He's in Michigan. Winters aren't the best for car living, unless he can earn enough to run his car 24/7

            [–]snowfaller 45 points46 points  (4 children)

            I live in Minnesota, and I did it here when it was -10° F. Sleeping bag, wool blanket, comforter, and some pillows and you will be fine. Get a membership at the gym, get a mailbox, use the library and/or Starbucks as your office. Storage unit for your stuff. There's free meals to be had in almost any decent sized town, there's thrift stores and churches for clothes etc. Churches are the best place to stop and get oriented with resources. It's amazing how many excuses and bullshit I told myself all the time about everything all the time until the time came where I needed to be resourceful. Any healthy person (and plenty, but not all unhealthy people) can pull themselves out of extreme poverty in this country. It's difficult, and the path from where you go after food and shelter is secured uncertain. Asking for help and forcing yourself to maintain a positive attitude are absolutely essential.

            [–][deleted]  (3 children)

            [deleted]

              [–]TheRealBobCostas 4 points5 points  (2 children)

              SW Detroit??

              Like.. Ypsi??

              [–]call911noww 6 points7 points  (0 children)

              "Mexican town" its where a LOT of Hispanic families reside. Right off of livernois going south on 75.

              [–]noshoptime 20 points21 points  (6 children)

              Islam motherfucker types

              i did time in va. i never had any problems with the muslims, usually got along great. the noi and 5%ers were straight up ignorant dickbags though. the regular muslims couldn't stand those guys any more than i could

              [–]MrNixon79 2 points3 points  (0 children)

              How are you currently coping with the reality of your situation? Do you have any support that can help you reevaluate any impulsivity you encounter?

              Most importantly, what is your best reason to continue on the path you have begun to travel?