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top 200 commentsshow all 467

[–]dropkickhead 5971 points5972 points  (79 children)

sLPT: after you're done brushing the fur off, you can wipe your wet hands on your clothes to dry them off

[–]tonyknoll 2391 points2392 points  (41 children)

ULPT: Wipe it on someone else's clothes

[–]dropkickhead 505 points506 points  (14 children)

Wow what a game changer

[–]GarciaJones 88 points89 points  (13 children)

Nah, that’s called “Foisting”

[–]_demetri_ 61 points62 points  (9 children)

I foist. You foist. He and she are foisting eachother.

[–]Dumptruck_Johnson 46 points47 points  (4 children)

U put ur hand upon my moist when i foist u foist we foist

[–]TheSheWhoSaidThats 20 points21 points  (2 children)

My hoist. my foist. my p***y and my moist. (am i doing this right?)

[–]pussyhasfurballs 19 points20 points  (1 child)

This feels like what would happen if Missy Elliott and Dr Suess collaborated.

[–]pitchdarkglow 3 points4 points  (0 children)

when I dip u dip we dip

[–]Zack123456201 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He and she are foisting eachother.

I think I’ve found my phrase of the day.

[–]aether10 5 points6 points  (0 children)

a moist foist

[–]krypt_o 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Foist your Foister-fucker.

[–]TheSheWhoSaidThats 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hoist your f*ckin foist, uncle-moister (..? South park...)

[–]ISaidGoodDey 9 points10 points  (1 child)

You got foisted Larry!

[–]ohnjaynb 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ahh I see what you did there Jimmy!

[–]_you_need_a_hug_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So, shoving your fist in someone's private bits helps with...

Ooohh, wait, you said "foisting". My apologies.

[–]OK_Compooper 28 points29 points  (2 children)

URLPT: shave the cat, wet its skin, then use the cat as a lint roller.

[–]Stevied1991 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Tried this and now my face and arms are torn up. What now?

[–]GaLi_iLaG 48 points49 points  (7 children)

[–]UndecisiveLurker 66 points67 points  (6 children)

Oh i thought he meant UltimateLPT

[–]Caoimhinnn 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Both applies here

[–]DrelltheUnclean 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Sometimes if you wanna live life to the ultimate, ya gotta be a little unethical

[–]2KilAMoknbrd 4 points5 points  (3 children)

and now you're the Pres. of the U.S.
oh! wait, you wrote ; . . . a little . . .
Nevah mind.

[–]DrelltheUnclean 11 points12 points  (2 children)

Er.. I'm BIGLY unethical. Yuge even

[–]2KilAMoknbrd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

To latte imp oster.

[–]DrelltheUnclean 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The passcode is covfefe you impos ter!

[–]willkillforthrill 3 points4 points  (0 children)

UULPT: Wipe your hands on your pet.

[–]SwiftbutnotTaylor 3 points4 points  (1 child)

REAL LPT always always in da comments

[–]The_UntemperedSchism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wipe it on the pet.

[–]ham236 40 points41 points  (0 children)

If your clothes are now wet, you can stick pet fur on them to soak up the moisture.

[–]zeppehead 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Or lick it off and cough it up as a hair ball later.

[–]approachcautiously 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Better yet just accept the fact that no matter what you do you'll end up with per hair in you again. Even if you remove it after you leave the house.

[–]ouyin2000 24 points25 points  (16 children)

[–]magispitt -4 points-3 points  (15 children)

[–]Xendicore 35 points36 points  (10 children)

Maybe it was for the uninitiated.

[–]BigBGM2995 16 points17 points  (7 children)

It helped me!

[–]Hoganprime 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Me too, my dog is shedding and everything is covered. It's been a nightmare. So this and the Dyer sheet tip for static electricity below are good tips

[–]ImTheRealMadHatter 4 points5 points  (5 children)

I have two large dogs and one of them sheds like mad. She is part Lab and part Great Pyrenees and I take her everywhere with me. I drive an SUV and always leave the back seats down so my dogs have lots of room. I adopted my Lab mix last May and haven't cleaned out my truck since then. Yesterday I decided it was time.

The back of my vehicle looked like it was wearing a white coat of its own and there was hair everywhere. I used my shop vac which worked okay but the thing that worked the best is a rubber 'hairbrush'. It's for removing pet hair from furniture and clothing and it works great. This is the brush.

I know it's a waste of time detailing my truck but I had to do it. There was hair on the dash, all over my front seats, everywhere. My Lab mix has short hair and she sheds worse than any dog I have ever owned and I have owned Pyrenees dogs, Bernese Mountain Dogs and a German Shepherd.

[–]MrSourPeanut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not a whoosh moment... that’s what slpt means

[–]hazpat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sLPT=shittylifeprotip

[–]timultuoustimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why I just lick my clothes

[–]Jellyna 808 points809 points  (20 children)

Rubber kitchen gloves. Very efficient. No wet dog hair smell lingering on your fingers.

[–]OhCleo 141 points142 points  (1 child)

Yesssss. I’ve done the wet hands method, but rubber gloves are way better.

[–]KNetwalker 31 points32 points  (1 child)

I'm learning so much!

[–]drunk-on-wine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Knowledge is power!

[–]Concerned_nobody 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Upvote for kitchen gloves. Best and easiest thing we've found, and we've tried a lot!

[–]thxmeatcat 15 points16 points  (1 child)

Do you wet them first?

[–]iheartNS 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nope.

[–]PM-ME-THEM-TITTIES 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I read this as "rubber chicken gloves" and was very confused at first.

[–]pieonthedonkey 689 points690 points  (29 children)

Also dryer sheets remove the static electricity and make it easier to wipe off.

[–]twins_are_not_freaks[S] 94 points95 points  (4 children)

Interesting! I'll keep that in mind!

[–]Owplayer11111 16 points17 points  (4 children)

Bullshit. I’ve never once had dryer shits actually remove static by just wiping them on.

[–]sunnbeta 47 points48 points  (3 children)

You don’t wipe them on bullshit dummy

[–]ChubbyNotChubby 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Do I have to shove it in my urethra?

[–]Meriliel 223 points224 points  (11 children)

The answer is always tape! Also works on any other surface... just wrap it around your hands and get that glitter out of the carpet

[–]Solkern 21 points22 points  (7 children)

Silly putty works best; it was originally a cleaner I believe.

[–]TheLurkingMenace 30 points31 points  (6 children)

Close, in that it was intended to be used in a very different way. It was meant to be a synthetic rubber, but it wasn't any better than the stuff the military was already using (this was WWII). The inventor passed it around and discovered people really had fun playing with it. Silly Putty was born. People found a lot of practical uses for it as well, including cleaning, but it never really had a purpose. That was kind of the idea behind the name.

[–]pdxboob 5 points6 points  (5 children)

I laughed at OPs post cuz it sounded like a joke. Your factoid is fascinating.

[–]TheLurkingMenace 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If it was a joke, woosh. It is, in fact, excellent at removing lint.

[–]pdxboob 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Let's hope OP is that clever. You had me doubting you just now so I googled it and Bravo! Thanks again for the fun fact of the day

[–]TheLurkingMenace 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I pick up random bits of useless trivia. Much like Silly Putty. :D

[–]Norma5tacy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use a thick 3" or so roll of painters tape and just go to town.

[–]Nukkil 2 points3 points  (1 child)

This!! washing machine works too

[–]bobby8375 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I always hurt my back when I try to drag the washing machine over my pants to get all the fuzz off.

[–]IDefaultedOnMyDebt 160 points161 points  (18 children)

Or the Sticky Buddy

[–]havenless 63 points64 points  (5 children)

Classic. The old lady fucking kills me every time.

[–]1Anto 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Ooooohhhh yeaaah that's what I'm talking 'bout! AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[–]goumie_gumi 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Now, get out my house :D!

[–]furtivepigmyso 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Ok seriously, I've now watched this video 12 times and I can't find the old lady fucking. What time is it at?

[–]Ratchet9325 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Crying laughing. Jesus why is this so funny.

[–]DaveJahVoo 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Hoped to see this here. Wasnt disappointed.

[–]Masee7 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I bought the thing from Ebay way before seeing this video, and man is it crappy. I just keep it around for the lulz now.

[–]sackerfice 4 points5 points  (0 children)

an upvote for Jaboody Dubs

[–]-IrrelevantElephant- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hell yeah Jaboody Dubs!

[–]sumisel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want this now

[–]NeonXero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why have I never seen this before. Was excellent.

[–]Talonize 1 point2 points  (2 children)

All laughter aside, that actually looks like a good product.

[–]Masee7 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Not really, it literally stopped sticking to anything by second week for me

[–]Talonize 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was thinking of asking if anyone used it

[–]CheekyMunky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The enhanced glint off the coins is a nice touch. It's like they forgot which product they were selling for a minute.

[–]jankydeal 174 points175 points  (28 children)

How to get the wet hair off your hands then? Wet dog hair is the worst!

[–]FortuitousAdroit 261 points262 points  (11 children)

Run your fingers through your hair!

[–]slurpee_clerk 123 points124 points  (6 children)

Part of my morning routine involves petting my dog, then transferring his hair to my own head. Comb it in for a fuller, natural look.

[–]jankydeal 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Just for chien

[–]2KilAMoknbrd 8 points9 points  (1 child)

A fine LPT for you thinning and balding folk

[–]pdxboob 1 point2 points  (2 children)

But I have black hair and my dog is blonde. I don't wanna look like I'm prematurely graying.

[–]slurpee_clerk 3 points4 points  (1 child)

People would pay for the blonde highlights you get for free

[–]aaronm109246 7 points8 points  (3 children)

As a balding 20 year old, I'd try anything right about now

[–]SkateboardsandPizza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shitty LPT: Wet your head and rub it on your dog.

[–]_dekappatated 42 points43 points  (4 children)

Eat it.

[–]IPlanOnIt 2 points3 points  (3 children)

But what about the hairball?

[–]hunnensturm 12 points13 points  (1 child)

Cough it up on the carpet during the night.

[–]Moosed 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Eat it and complete the circle

[–]Malari_Zahn 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Wipe it on your pants!

[–]mango_guy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd imagine water and then drying with paper towels.

[–]Iamananomoly 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where are you wetting your hands that isnt a sink?

[–]shayter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't done this in a while, but it comes right off when the water dries up.. Just brush it off your hands

[–]RedeRules770 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I run a blow dryer over my clothes

[–]Dreamtastical 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rub your hands on your clothes

[–]greenfingers559 110 points111 points  (11 children)

A bit of clear tape will work way better.

[–]Cetun 28 points29 points  (4 children)

That’s what I use, wet hands does seem cheaper though.

[–]-Badger2- 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I heard they cost an arm and a leg.

[–]emueagles 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the tip is more for people that don't have something and are in a hurry.

[–]DanielagainDaniel 17 points18 points  (2 children)

Clear tape wrapped nonstick-side-in around a pen for a makeshift roller

[–]ABunnyCalledChloe 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Easier way is to wrap the tape back around the roll of tape and stick it to it's self on the other side, then the whole roll of tape becomes the roller.

[–]rosecrowned 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've found that works for light amounts of hair- but if it's a lot then the damp hands work out better, at least for me :)

[–]adorableinpain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only good for heavy fabrics (hopefully obvious)

[–]allamericangirl22 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Packing Tape works great too!

[–]Mizz_Wright 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Happy cake day!

[–]Scorpio1980 32 points33 points  (5 children)

Lies. Cat hair will come off your clothes when it damn well pleases. No amount of wet hand wiping, duct tape sticking, lint rolling, etc will ever get it all off.

[–]jonosvision 10 points11 points  (3 children)

And you always know when the cat hair has been there for a while, since every laundry day the hair comes out thinner and thinner until eventually it just evaporates.

I swear, the first person to invent laundry detergent that dissolves pet hair will be a gazillionaire.

[–]Chakura 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please someone invent it. I swear my coat has turned into a cat itself. No manner of washing, lint rolling, making sure it's nowhere near the cats, etc, does any good.

[–]kattguld23 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That reminds me of a stain remover that’s called Vanish. You shouldn’t use it on silk and wool because it breaks down organic material (and thats how the stains are removed) Which makes me wonder - would it break down the cat hair in a wash? That’s would be brilliant! 😁👍

[–]Contherocks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s a product around called vamoosh which apparently dissolves the hair but I’m not sure how well it actually works.

[–]Chriah 33 points34 points  (2 children)

For those wondering this is the proper technique.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmv27WwVMZY

[–]Cinsane 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WHAT’S SO FUNNY?

[–]KittyMagick 41 points42 points  (4 children)

You can also use tape or latex gloves

[–]cqxray 13 points14 points  (3 children)

Duct tape!

[–]Solember 21 points22 points  (2 children)

Instructions unclear. My cat did not like the duct tape.

[–]SlickSwagger 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Instructions unclear: just accidentally waxed my pubes.

[–]codereder 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Now rub over clothes. Works like Velcro

[–]egracef 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Works even with 4 cats-worth of fur!

[–]saltesc 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That's about 1/8th of a pug.

[–]Faville611 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..

[–]DforDanger24 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Stay tuned for the LPT on how to get pet hair off of wet hands.

[–]LindsE8 10 points11 points  (1 child)

Damp paper towel does the same and your hands don’t get gross

[–]Syrinx221 19 points20 points  (0 children)

You have to be careful with paper towels, however, because they can leave lint. A fabric towel is much better.

[–]Splinterfight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Damp hand towel also works, so you don’t have wet dog hair hands

[–]poo_fingrr 35 points36 points  (9 children)

Or wrap tape around your hands with the sticky side out because I don't want fucking wet dog hair all over my hands?

[–]ArcticYoda 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I think the idea is to wash your hands afterwards

[–]movzx 15 points16 points  (1 child)

And waste the water? Get a load of this fat cat!

[–]nevercatdogaruff 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Or wash your hands...

[–]0bjection1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think that's a reasonable expectation of someone named poo_fingrr

[–]Mshkin57 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not. Try getting it off your hands after that. If the hairs are really fine, it'll take a while and it'll get on your clothes anyway.

[–]oO0-__-0Oo 12 points13 points  (7 children)

  • Pull out several lengths of packing tape, sticking the 1 end of each respective strip to some kind of ledge.
  • Lay down your clothing article on a bed (or other large flat surface.
  • Put 1 strip of tape on your article.
  • Slightly overlap each successive strip to create one much larger piece of sticky tape.
  • Once overlapped, take one end of your monster and bend the end over itself sticky side to sticky side in order to create a non-sticky pull tab.
  • Now you can de-hair large articles of clothing very quickly, effectively, and cheaply.

This is actually a far superior way to de-hair clothes compared to a sticky roller in pretty much every way.

[–]tahmim[🍰] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Do u have a video of this

[–]oO0-__-0Oo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, but I suppose I could make one, or create a photo set explaining it.

I invented it myself, so I don't know if someone else has made a video of such a technique already. Perhaps it's worth searching on youtube.

[–]2KilAMoknbrd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can't find a roller, most tapes work. Get 3 or 4 inches wide inexpensive masking tape. Then use the u/oO0-__-0Oo method. Alternatively wrap a band, adhesive side out, around your hand then dab at the offending hair.

[–]xaphody 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Instructions unclear, cat now had no hair.

[–]Little-White-Lamb 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also of you move your wet hands in a circular motion it balls the fur making it easy to pick off.

[–]BillyClinton3000 2 points3 points  (7 children)

Man it's a slow day on Reddit when anyone thinks this is a pro move, yuck! Get my hands wet and brush off dog hair a.k.a. get wet dog fur all over your hands?

[–]Piee314 2 points3 points  (6 children)

You sound like you don't own a pet. Being covered in their fur is daily SOP.

[–]Kidus333 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Instuctions not clear, currently naked and wet with dog hair all over me. What do i do.

-Dog

[–]reddina2 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Life Pro Tips are getting shittier by the day.

[–]HowIDoReddit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now I have dog hair stuck to me and I'm wet

[–]princesspants9495 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Uhm.....but ew??? Lol wut. There’s a thing called a wash cloth, towel, any other thing ever you can get wet and wipe hair off with....

[–]Holy5 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Thank you I'm honestly surprised I had to scroll this far. Was fixing to say something similar myself.

[–]Ignited22 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now I smell like a wet dog.... gg

[–]TheMightyWoofer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then you have hairy handsbutdoesnteveryonemasturbate?

[–]Pandepon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then immediately after doing this eat a honey bun.

[–]RawrImaHuman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How do you get this to work with cat hair? Doesn't work for me.

[–]vegetablefuelledrage 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Try petting your animals with wet hands so they can't shed on your clothes in the first place

[–]sneakernomics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not if its corgi fur. Corgi fur multiplies no matter wut.

[–]qning 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do I do with all the hair stuck on my tongue?

[–]Nefarim 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But then you look like a chronic masturbator if you're a guy. :/

[–]CluelessEndeavors 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear, Now there's dog hair on my penis

[–]reddit455 1 point2 points  (0 children)

silicone oven mitts are really good at getting hair off furniture and clothing.

get the ones with little nubs.

source: one brown dog and one black dog watching me type this because they have to poop.

[–]yankonapc 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a scrap of velvet I use for that. Works great, and isn't sticky or gooey!

[–]supmansup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

but now i got fur hands

[–]Buh-Gok-y 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Packing tape works too

[–]GennyGeo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wrap scotch tape over your hands with the sticky part facing outward

[–]itsasgoodadayasany 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Will this also work across my whole house?

[–]Herutastic 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I bought the sticky roll that people make fun of and it really works! The sticky part is a bit meh, but the silicone back part removes almost all of the pet hair.

Video parody: https://youtu.be/jlSF0dtDRD8

[–]TheOnederYears 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't read anything about a sticky roller without hearing this guys voice

[–]chubbsw 3 points4 points  (0 children)

LPT is dumb as fuck now...

[–]Yeti_Krueger 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother used to make me do this to get the pet hair off of the sofa. It works! (But I hated it)

[–]kempoman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now I look like I peed my pants

[–]bossofthisjim 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Instructions unclear, burned clothing.

[–]ProffesorSpitfire 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually found that post-its work incredibly well to brush of everything from pet fur to dust from your clothes. At least from like shirts and t-shirts. Might not work as well with a knitted sweater though.

[–]ForTheHordeKT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What also does a pretty good job is shaking it off. I'll take my shirt or pants and whip them, kind of the way you'd snap the end of a towel at someone like a whip to sting them. I'll do that a few times with my clothes putting them back on. My dog's hair gets all over everything. Never appreciated how crazy she sheds until a 3 year stretch once of living in a studio that only had hard, un-carpeted floors that I swept instead of vacuuming. Once a week I'd sweep and end up with piles of fur damn near the size of her. That fur gets into all kinds of weird stuff. When I was smoking ecigs I'd even find strands of that shit making it into my ejuice tank, no idea how lol.

[–]joselrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Intructions unclear, my pet has no fur now

[–]Not_a_Cylon_Spy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've uses tape. Just wax on and wax off, goes like a charm.

[–]blackcanine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, using a latex glove to brush fur off clothes works very well. Source: vet tech

[–]Armlock311 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then rub your eyes.

[–]mahlerguy2000 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or lick and swallow

[–]Emitale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lived pretty much all my life with some kind of animal, be it cat, dog or brother found that;

Blowing condensed air on your hands also kind of works but you don’t make your shirts wet.

[–]lyriumgrl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or you can use those gloves for washing dishes, they make it easier and less messy

[–]SheriffLevy 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Another great way to avoid this is to change clothes

[–]Consciencelogic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try a wet rag and you can rinse and repeat to get a larger areas.

[–]uzerrname[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does it matter if my hands are wet if I’m using a brush?

[–]unclesanguin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My hands are always sweaty so that makes sense why I can always just use my hands instead of the roller.

[–]WiseChoices 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And please don't sit near me! I am so allergic!

[–]andmcq1983 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LPT: Shave all the fur off of your pet.

Bonus LPT: Use the shaved fur to make a cool winter coat for yourself.