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LPT: If you have pet fur all over your clothes and you don't have a sticky roller, wet your hands and brush off the fur. Most of it will come off.

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sLPT: after you're done brushing the fur off, you can wipe your wet hands on your clothes to dry them off

2.4k points · 6 months ago

ULPT: Wipe it on someone else's clothes

Wow what a game changer

Nah, that’s called “Foisting”

I foist. You foist. He and she are foisting eachother.

U put ur hand upon my moist when i foist u foist we foist

My hoist. my foist. my p***y and my moist. (am i doing this right?)

This feels like what would happen if Missy Elliott and Dr Suess collaborated.

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when I dip u dip we dip

He and she are foisting eachother.

I think I’ve found my phrase of the day.

a moist foist

Foist your Foister-fucker.

Hoist your f*ckin foist, uncle-moister (..? South park...)

You got foisted Larry!

Ahh I see what you did there Jimmy!

So, shoving your fist in someone's private bits helps with...

Ooohh, wait, you said "foisting". My apologies.

URLPT: shave the cat, wet its skin, then use the cat as a lint roller.

Tried this and now my face and arms are torn up. What now?

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Oh i thought he meant UltimateLPT

Both applies here

Sometimes if you wanna live life to the ultimate, ya gotta be a little unethical

and now you're the Pres. of the U.S.
oh! wait, you wrote ; . . . a little . . .
Nevah mind.

Er.. I'm BIGLY unethical. Yuge even

To latte imp oster.

The passcode is covfefe you impos ter!

UULPT: Wipe your hands on your pet.

REAL LPT always always in da comments

Da way

Wipe it on the pet.

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42 points · 6 months ago

If your clothes are now wet, you can stick pet fur on them to soak up the moisture.

Or lick it off and cough it up as a hair ball later.

Better yet just accept the fact that no matter what you do you'll end up with per hair in you again. Even if you remove it after you leave the house.

Maybe it was for the uninitiated.

It helped me!

Me too, my dog is shedding and everything is covered. It's been a nightmare. So this and the Dyer sheet tip for static electricity below are good tips

[deleted]
4 points · 6 months ago

I have two large dogs and one of them sheds like mad. She is part Lab and part Great Pyrenees and I take her everywhere with me. I drive an SUV and always leave the back seats down so my dogs have lots of room. I adopted my Lab mix last May and haven't cleaned out my truck since then. Yesterday I decided it was time.

The back of my vehicle looked like it was wearing a white coat of its own and there was hair everywhere. I used my shop vac which worked okay but the thing that worked the best is a rubber 'hairbrush'. It's for removing pet hair from furniture and clothing and it works great. This is the brush.

I know it's a waste of time detailing my truck but I had to do it. There was hair on the dash, all over my front seats, everywhere. My Lab mix has short hair and she sheds worse than any dog I have ever owned and I have owned Pyrenees dogs, Bernese Mountain Dogs and a German Shepherd.

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Not a whoosh moment... that’s what slpt means

2 points · 6 months ago

sLPT=shittylifeprotip

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This is why I just lick my clothes

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816 points · 6 months ago

Rubber kitchen gloves. Very efficient. No wet dog hair smell lingering on your fingers.

139 points · 6 months ago

Yesssss. I’ve done the wet hands method, but rubber gloves are way better.

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I'm learning so much!

Knowledge is power!

Upvote for kitchen gloves. Best and easiest thing we've found, and we've tried a lot!

Do you wet them first?

Nope.

I read this as "rubber chicken gloves" and was very confused at first.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Also dryer sheets remove the static electricity and make it easier to wipe off.

Original Poster103 points · 6 months ago

Interesting! I'll keep that in mind!

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Bullshit. I’ve never once had dryer shits actually remove static by just wiping them on.

You don’t wipe them on bullshit dummy

Do I have to shove it in my urethra?

crosses legs

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229 points · 6 months ago

The answer is always tape! Also works on any other surface... just wrap it around your hands and get that glitter out of the carpet

23 points · 6 months ago

Silly putty works best; it was originally a cleaner I believe.

Close, in that it was intended to be used in a very different way. It was meant to be a synthetic rubber, but it wasn't any better than the stuff the military was already using (this was WWII). The inventor passed it around and discovered people really had fun playing with it. Silly Putty was born. People found a lot of practical uses for it as well, including cleaning, but it never really had a purpose. That was kind of the idea behind the name.

I laughed at OPs post cuz it sounded like a joke. Your factoid is fascinating.

If it was a joke, woosh. It is, in fact, excellent at removing lint.

Let's hope OP is that clever. You had me doubting you just now so I googled it and Bravo! Thanks again for the fun fact of the day

I pick up random bits of useless trivia. Much like Silly Putty. :D

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I use a thick 3" or so roll of painters tape and just go to town.

3 points · 6 months ago

This!! washing machine works too

I always hurt my back when I try to drag the washing machine over my pants to get all the fuzz off.

Classic. The old lady fucking kills me every time.

29 points · 6 months ago

Ooooohhhh yeaaah that's what I'm talking 'bout! AaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Now, get out my house :D!

Ok seriously, I've now watched this video 12 times and I can't find the old lady fucking. What time is it at?

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[deleted]
26 points · 6 months ago

Crying laughing. Jesus why is this so funny.

Hoped to see this here. Wasnt disappointed.

4 points · 6 months ago

I bought the thing from Ebay way before seeing this video, and man is it crappy. I just keep it around for the lulz now.

Why have I never seen this before. Was excellent.

an upvote for Jaboody Dubs

Hell yeah Jaboody Dubs!

I want this now

All laughter aside, that actually looks like a good product.

4 points · 6 months ago

Not really, it literally stopped sticking to anything by second week for me

I was thinking of asking if anyone used it

The enhanced glint off the coins is a nice touch. It's like they forgot which product they were selling for a minute.

I was waiting for the fat lady to lick the crumbs off of it.

176 points · 6 months ago

How to get the wet hair off your hands then? Wet dog hair is the worst!

Run your fingers through your hair*!*

[deleted]
131 points · 6 months ago

Part of my morning routine involves petting my dog, then transferring his hair to my own head. Comb it in for a fuller, natural look.

Just for chien

A fine LPT for you thinning and balding folk

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But I have black hair and my dog is blonde. I don't wanna look like I'm prematurely graying.

[deleted]
3 points · 6 months ago

People would pay for the blonde highlights you get for free

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As a balding 20 year old, I'd try anything right about now

Shitty LPT: Wet your head and rub it on your dog.

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Eat it.

Comment deleted6 months ago(3 children)

Cough it up on the carpet during the night.

7 points · 6 months ago

Eat it and complete the circle

Eat it.

Wipe it on your pants!

I'd imagine water and then drying with paper towels.

Where are you wetting your hands that isnt a sink?

I haven't done this in a while, but it comes right off when the water dries up.. Just brush it off your hands

I run a blow dryer over my clothes

Rub your hands on your clothes

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Lies. Cat hair will come off your clothes when it damn well pleases. No amount of wet hand wiping, duct tape sticking, lint rolling, etc will ever get it all off.

And you always know when the cat hair has been there for a while, since every laundry day the hair comes out thinner and thinner until eventually it just evaporates.

I swear, the first person to invent laundry detergent that dissolves pet hair will be a gazillionaire.

10 points · 6 months ago

Please someone invent it. I swear my coat has turned into a cat itself. No manner of washing, lint rolling, making sure it's nowhere near the cats, etc, does any good.

That reminds me of a stain remover that’s called Vanish. You shouldn’t use it on silk and wool because it breaks down organic material (and thats how the stains are removed) Which makes me wonder - would it break down the cat hair in a wash? That’s would be brilliant! 😁👍

There’s a product around called vamoosh which apparently dissolves the hair but I’m not sure how well it actually works.

2 points · 6 months ago

I spent the holidays at my cousins’ house. They have 3 cats and 1 dog. A week after coming back and having washed everything, I’m still removing their pets’ hair from my clothes!

A bit of clear tape will work way better.

35 points · 6 months ago

That’s what I use, wet hands does seem cheaper though.

I heard they cost an arm and a leg.

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I think the tip is more for people that don't have something and are in a hurry.

Clear tape wrapped nonstick-side-in around a pen for a makeshift roller

Easier way is to wrap the tape back around the roll of tape and stick it to it's self on the other side, then the whole roll of tape becomes the roller.

I've found that works for light amounts of hair- but if it's a lot then the damp hands work out better, at least for me :)

Only good for heavy fabrics (hopefully obvious)

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Packing Tape works great too!

Happy cake day!

37 points · 6 months ago

For those wondering this is the proper technique.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmv27WwVMZY

WHAT’S SO FUNNY?

You can also use tape or latex gloves

13 points · 6 months ago

Duct tape!

Instructions unclear. My cat did not like the duct tape.

Instructions unclear: just accidentally waxed my pubes.

Now rub over clothes. Works like Velcro

14 points · 6 months ago

Works even with 4 cats-worth of fur!

16 points · 6 months ago

That's about 1/8th of a pug.

I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..

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Stay tuned for the LPT on how to get pet hair off of wet hands.

12 points · 6 months ago

Damp paper towel does the same and your hands don’t get gross

You have to be careful with paper towels, however, because they can leave lint. A fabric towel is much better.

Damp hand towel also works, so you don’t have wet dog hair hands

Or wrap tape around your hands with the sticky side out because I don't want fucking wet dog hair all over my hands?

I think the idea is to wash your hands afterwards

17 points · 6 months ago

And waste the water? Get a load of this fat cat!

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Or wash your hands...

I don't think that's a reasonable expectation of someone named poo_fingrr

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[deleted]
12 points · 6 months ago

Absolutely not. Try getting it off your hands after that. If the hairs are really fine, it'll take a while and it'll get on your clothes anyway.

  • Pull out several lengths of packing tape, sticking the 1 end of each respective strip to some kind of ledge.

  • Lay down your clothing article on a bed (or other large flat surface.

  • Put 1 strip of tape on your article.

  • Slightly overlap each successive strip to create one much larger piece of sticky tape.

  • Once overlapped, take one end of your monster and bend the end over itself sticky side to sticky side in order to create a non-sticky pull tab.

  • Now you can de-hair large articles of clothing very quickly, effectively, and cheaply.

This is actually a far superior way to de-hair clothes compared to a sticky roller in pretty much every way.

[deleted]
4 points · 6 months ago

Do u have a video of this

No, but I suppose I could make one, or create a photo set explaining it.

I invented it myself, so I don't know if someone else has made a video of such a technique already. Perhaps it's worth searching on youtube.

If you can't find a roller, most tapes work. Get 3 or 4 inches wide inexpensive masking tape. Then use the u/oO0-__-0Oo method. Alternatively wrap a band, adhesive side out, around your hand then dab at the offending hair.

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17 points · 6 months ago

Instructions unclear, cat now had no hair.

Also of you move your wet hands in a circular motion it balls the fur making it easy to pick off.

Man it's a slow day on Reddit when anyone thinks this is a pro move, yuck! Get my hands wet and brush off dog hair a.k.a. get wet dog fur all over your hands?

You sound like you don't own a pet. Being covered in their fur is daily SOP.

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Instuctions not clear, currently naked and wet with dog hair all over me. What do i do.

-Dog

[deleted]
4 points · 6 months ago(2 children)

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Uhm.....but ew??? Lol wut. There’s a thing called a wash cloth, towel, any other thing ever you can get wet and wipe hair off with....

4 points · 6 months ago

Thank you I'm honestly surprised I had to scroll this far. Was fixing to say something similar myself.

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Now I smell like a wet dog.... gg

And then you have hairy handsbutdoesnteveryonemasturbate?

Then immediately after doing this eat a honey bun.

[deleted]
2 points · 6 months ago

How do you get this to work with cat hair? Doesn't work for me.

Try petting your animals with wet hands so they can't shed on your clothes in the first place

Not if its corgi fur. Corgi fur multiplies no matter wut.

But then you look like a chronic masturbator if you're a guy. :/

Instructions unclear, Now there's dog hair on my penis

silicone oven mitts are really good at getting hair off furniture and clothing.

get the ones with little nubs.

source: one brown dog and one black dog watching me type this because they have to poop.

I have a scrap of velvet I use for that. Works great, and isn't sticky or gooey!

but now i got fur hands

Packing tape works too

Wrap scotch tape over your hands with the sticky part facing outward

Will this also work across my whole house?

I bought the sticky roll that people make fun of and it really works! The sticky part is a bit meh, but the silicone back part removes almost all of the pet hair.

Video parody: https://youtu.be/jlSF0dtDRD8

I can't read anything about a sticky roller without hearing this guys voice

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LPT is dumb as fuck now...

My mother used to make me do this to get the pet hair off of the sofa. It works! (But I hated it)

Now I look like I peed my pants

Instructions unclear, burned clothing.

I've actually found that post-its work incredibly well to brush of everything from pet fur to dust from your clothes. At least from like shirts and t-shirts. Might not work as well with a knitted sweater though.

What also does a pretty good job is shaking it off. I'll take my shirt or pants and whip them, kind of the way you'd snap the end of a towel at someone like a whip to sting them. I'll do that a few times with my clothes putting them back on. My dog's hair gets all over everything. Never appreciated how crazy she sheds until a 3 year stretch once of living in a studio that only had hard, un-carpeted floors that I swept instead of vacuuming. Once a week I'd sweep and end up with piles of fur damn near the size of her. That fur gets into all kinds of weird stuff. When I was smoking ecigs I'd even find strands of that shit making it into my ejuice tank, no idea how lol.

Intructions unclear, my pet has no fur now

I've uses tape. Just wax on and wax off, goes like a charm.

Also, using a latex glove to brush fur off clothes works very well. Source: vet tech

Then rub your eyes.

Or lick and swallow

Lived pretty much all my life with some kind of animal, be it cat, dog or brother found that;

Blowing condensed air on your hands also kind of works but you don’t make your shirts wet.

Or you can use those gloves for washing dishes, they make it easier and less messy

Another great way to avoid this is to change clothes

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Try a wet rag and you can rinse and repeat to get a larger areas.

What does it matter if my hands are wet if I’m using a brush?

My hands are always sweaty so that makes sense why I can always just use my hands instead of the roller.

And please don't sit near me! I am so allergic!

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