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LPT: If you feel that you're getting mixed signals from your date, ask directly if she/he wants to continue. No shame in asking.

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163 points · 6 months ago

jesus fuck. no. Don't. You'll just turn a good or Okay date into you coming off as a desperate and insecure person.

Just continue on, and just have a good time rather than worry about impressing anyone.

Agreed. If you dont think they're into you then just focus on having fun with the activity you're doing. Put less focus on them and just have fun. If they do like you, it'll draw them in. If they dont like you, then it doesnt matter and you had fun anyway.

Right? Because if they're insecure they'll maybe say no because they don't want to bother you anymore. I had a date that could've gone that way but we walked instead so we didn't have to look at each other as much while we talked. We powered through the awkward and are now getting married.

"powered through the awkward and are now getting married."

Congratulations, on your upcoming marriage, and on getting a chuckle out of me.

Thanks. There were bouts of normalcy in there.

Pretty sure in the hypothetical it is not a good time they're having.

3 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

This is the real LPT. Just focus on having a good time for YOURSELF and if they’re a good match they’ll naturally have fun too. If they’re not a good match, that doesn’t have to be your problem. Let them tell you themselves if they wanna ditch (or they can come up with some lame excuse and you’ll have a funny dating story to tell your friends). Don’t ruin your own good time worrying about what might or might not happen.

I spent a decade worrying what other people thought of me and it’s only when I stopped caring and started having fun regardless of what their internal thoughts might be that people started having fun WITH me. Believe me on this. On first dates or even third dates, people aren’t looking for sensitivity, they’re looking for fun. Don’t judge them, don’t worry about whether they’re judging you, and just have fun doing the date activity.

If somebody rejects you, or if a date is bad, the other person is just as much at fault as you are. It takes two people to be incompatible.

-1 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Tell that to Aziz Ansari, who just got accused of not properly reading "non verbals" indicating she was uncomfortable, and therefore "violating" her. Honestly better to turn it awkward than press forward and get accused of sexual misconduct later... 'cos nowadays that's all that's needed to ruin your social reputation, no real proof necessary besides that she felt violated in some way.

source

[deleted]
5 points · 6 months ago

He's also accused of not understanding verbal indications. LPT, don't grope and try to fuck people unless they're into it.

Comment deleted6 months ago(1 child)

Yah I read that article. she sounds like a real bitch. If you go on a date with someone and get naked and blow them, it is not unreasonable to expect further advances. from her admission, when she clearly said stop, she stopped.

These days you have to protect yourself. Don’t want to be seen as a predator.

No, as always, you have to not be a predator.

Many people who aren’t predators still get cast as them.

"many people" also have von-hippel lindau. But it's one of the world's rarest diseases affecting 0.002% of people.

There are very few people that will ever say "No" during a date, especially if they are sending mixed signals already, they don't want it to be awkward.

Especially if there are implications already in place.

Most people are going to be put off by this and assume that you are having a bad time and indirectly looking for a way out.

Dating takes two people, if the other person is sending you mixed signals you either aren't interpreting them correctly or they don't know what they want. If you sense it going south, just end it politely instead of putting them on the spot like that.

Good luck with this If you are asking a guy, he will most probably go, wanna go back to my place, Netflix and chill? If it's a girl, she will probably look at you and go, 'I don't know.. do you?' - and guess what, you are back to where you started

Rinse and repeat

[deleted]
4 points · 6 months ago

Whether they were in, or out, you're pushing your chances off a cliff by questioning whether or not they want to be there.

I think it is better to just enjoy yourself and have as mich fun as you can and see if the other person follows the flow or not. Dates do not always work out, thats why we do them, it is an active process.

I think a better LPT is that going on a date is easier than we make it, if they have already accepted, they already like you on some level so just be ther person that you are, since that worked to get you to this point (*unless you put a facade to get the date, then you reap what you sow).

LPT: Don’t perform oral sex on each other and then claim sexual assault in the future.

Comment deleted6 months ago(1 child)

LPT is always in the comments.

zero chance of another date after this regardless of the response or their true feelings.

Don't fucking do this. You can't be sure what constitute mixed signals, because everyone is different. Especially on a first date where you know nothing about the other person. They might just be nervous. 1. It makes you look like an awkward fuck. 2. It's the most not chill thing to do ever and puts so much pressure on the other person. 3. You asking it might give the other person the impression that YOU aren't interested, and kill your chances. Be likeable and positive.

Then you're kinda not letting nature run its course. Somethings take time and it's not always love at first sight. It's OK if a date is a slow burn or if a relationship takes time to open up. Some people don't just want to jump into bed with someone or just kick off a relationship. There are a lot of guarded people who take time to get to know. Telling them that you're receiving mixed signals is just going to make things awkward a majority of the time. Why not just let it ride out and let the net feeling when it's all over decide if you want to call her/him again and hang out.

There's no shame in asking as long as you do it like this: (Robot voice) "Would you like to end this predetermined social interaction which may or may not lead to sexual intercourse at this time? Please answer yes or no."

Moderator of r/LifeProTips, speaking officially2 points · 6 months ago

Hello Dogenewnew, thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):

  • Relationship tip.

If you would like to appeal this decision please feel free to contact the moderators here. Do not repost without explicit permission from the moderators. Make sure you read the rules before submitting. Thank you!

In my experience, this typically won't work until you're in your late 20's / 30's. By then most people are a little more mature and it's more understood that most people are looking for a lasting relationship or marriage material.

I think it is better to just enjoy yourself and have as mich fun as you can and see if the other person follows the flow or not. Dates do not always work out, thats why we do them, it is an active process.

I think a better LPT is that going on a date is easier than we make it, if they have already accepted, they already like you on some level so just be ther person that you are, since that worked to get you to this point (*unless you put a facade to get the date, then you reap what you sow).

[deleted]
1 point · 6 months ago

Don't be weird. After the main act of the date, give them an out by asking if they want to do something else. If not, don't press the issue.

Better tip is to make sure the end is good. Even for you don't do all your plans but do something fun and exiting at rhe end will be better. People remeber endings more so yeah

If you have to ask, it’s not going well.

I was on a horrible first date once and remembered lemon laws for bad cars, how it’s no hard feelings to return a lemon to the dealer. Dude was horrible, so I was like “this is a lemon law date right? We can just leave?” And he was like “thank god, I can’t stand you!” And I was like “hah! Me neither!” We left after shaking hands and laughing.

I realize that’s the exception to the rule and it’s probably not as scary since I’m a dude as well.

If you are getting mixed signals, then you don't have consent. No need to ask.

Original Poster1 point · 6 months ago

You'd be surprised at how many people don't think that.

just drug her and take her back to your place

4chan pls go hack cnn

Comment deleted6 months ago(0 children)

Smart!

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