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all 158 comments

[–]plarpIAmDingus 214 points215 points  (10 children)

sniff

cough

loud sigh

sniff

[–]aud_nih 123 points124 points  (3 children)

foil bag noise

crunch crunch crunch

weird lip noises

cough

[–]moshiXmoshi 71 points72 points  (0 children)

*Some terrible Euro dance music in the background *

[–]here-Is-my-two-cents 15 points16 points  (0 children)

"NO I dont wanna go to your fucking moms house, we've been there the past 3 weekends!"

[–]xFryday 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't cough you can't get off

[–]theweekendwolf 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Jesus this is accurate. Just add a random lone “hello?” in there

[–]BrownMan97 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I can hear this text.

[–]JohnnyFlack 17 points18 points  (3 children)

You forgot the guy sucking on his vape.

From me all youll hear is a lighter and bong rips.

[–]juiceboxjones -1 points0 points  (1 child)

VAPE NATION

[–]Mounter of EldersHeliocentrix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chase the clouds bro....

[–]DeathSec93 70 points71 points  (2 children)

I was talking to my girlfriend the other night about my work schedule and realized my mic was on. For my people and the people like me: we are sorry

[–]metal_hobbit 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I did it to other day too. I got into a conversation about shopping with the Mrs haha! I’m guessing you also felt your heart sink when you saw your name in the top right xD

[–]DeathSec93 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sure did lol. I heard a strange burly male voice mumble something and was like aw fuck. Looked down at my controller Mic adapter to find no orange light lit up indicating my Mic was muted.

[–]Zucrander 50 points51 points  (5 children)

In my many hours in this game, I have yet to hear anyone use their mic except the one time someone was munching on chips and smacking their lips.

[–]USMCOwl 15 points16 points  (2 children)

The one guy I have ever heard was breathing into the whole time he accepted my sos. Died all three times and said sorry.

[–]onederful 12 points13 points  (1 child)

At least he’s polite lol

[–]USMCOwl 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we’ll go with that

[–]MechaMineko 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I had to turn off voice chat the very first time I loaded into Astera because the noises were so obnoxious. It's really sad because I'd like to use in-game voice chat, it would make communicating with randos so much easier. Is there a way to have the voice chat automatically turn off in Astera but turn on for hunts so I can communicate during actual gameplay but not have to be subjected to people's creepy breathing, coughing, and awful music between quests?

[–]Zucrander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not that I know of

[–]Another_Desk_Jockey 36 points37 points  (4 children)

God's honest truth, I turned off voice on day one and until I read this I completely forgot this game supported voice chat...

[–]Mentos13371 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same for me. I tend to always solo content anyway unless i play with my friends so i don't even need ingame voice chat.

[–]churros101player 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've turned it off but it keeps turning it on every time I restart

[–]HurricaneX31 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noone uses it ever

[–]megamik_5 123 points124 points  (8 children)

Wow what did mike ever do to you?

[–]Sleepingbones[S] 38 points39 points  (4 children)

I think you know

[–]XB1 GT: BelyalBelyal 15 points16 points  (3 children)

poor Mike... Once upon a time, everyone wanted to be like Mike... Now, people are yelling to turn him off...

[–]RedsevenRuns 24 points25 points  (2 children)

mikelivesmatter

[–]OcelotInTheCloset 1 point2 points  (1 child)

BlueberryLivesMatter

[–]Mikezification 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What did i do wrong? :o

[–]ravenze 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Didn't you read? He was arguing with his grandmother about night-night time. ;)

[–]skd1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My th0ught exactly

[–]46Alpha 16 points17 points  (1 child)

I'm always in party chat. But sometimes I leave and forget to mute. This one time was Taco Tuesday. Whoever was in that lobby, please accept my most sincere apologies. It's not really that bad, but I have a leather chair. It amplifies....sounds.

[–]Motosyko21 2 points3 points  (0 children)

T'was not me, t'was the chair

[–]MrObject 16 points17 points  (2 children)

Every nice in a while you get to hear something truly hilarious like a kid fighting with his brother over the ps4 or the gf of the player bitching about him being on the ps4 too much.

I got to hear the best convo between a young kid and his mom and the mom was trying to tell the kid that if he spent too much time playing video games and not outside with his friends he was going to get autism.

So ya, leave your mics on.

[–]kal_skirata 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going to get autism? Jeez...

[–]ModestArk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha...our destiny group just called someones wife Omnigul...with a reason.^

[–]Anthill8 23 points24 points  (5 children)

It's funny when you hear someone hitting a bong. I'm like ayyyy! But yeah for real should probably be muted though.

[–]shaggy5402 6 points7 points  (1 child)

For my people and those like me, stay high and also, sorry for leaving our mics on!

Edit: I came here to look for this comment.

[–]GAKBAG 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm glad I wasn't the only one lol

[–]ChefsSaltyBa11s 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Advantages of a squad: everyone cheers when you take a toke 😁

[–]TheRainbowUnicorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve done that before... :”)

[–]Skaitavia 19 points20 points  (5 children)

You could mute him if he isn't muting his mikrophone

[–]Seabiscuit1698 15 points16 points  (3 children)

*mikerophone /s

[–]Bug DusterSljm8D 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I'm Mike Roephone and this is Dirty Jobs

[–]MrTatum899 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Just spit my dinner out. Thanks for this.

[–]350+ Quests with GLDr_McWeazel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oi, that's a lot of food to be spittin' out at once. You alright?

[–]knyy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried that, but couldn't find the option. How do I mute someone? If I go L2+R2+Pad I open the menu for voice, but I just couldn't mute.

[–]iaminfamy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Is this real? Oh God. The horror!

I don't think I've ever muted my mic.

Who exactly can hear me? I did t realize this game used voice chat?

People have heard me baby talk my cat? This is embarrassing as hell.

[–]rayoman67 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just mute everyone.

[–]Magnhild2894 5 points6 points  (2 children)

many apologies to the 14 people in the arena quest session i was in the other night. me and these hilarious japanese girls were dancing in the gathering hub and all we knew how to say to eachother was "Japan!" "America" "kpop!" and they kept playing kpop in the background while i did the feverish dance. we probably annoyed so many people but it was the best experience ive ever had in the astera voice chat.

[–]Sleepingbones[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

If Japanese girls are involved it is fine.

[–]Bobblefighterman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to be you.

[–]A_Confused_Moose 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You will listen to the inner workings of my household and you will like it.

[–]DocRedgrave 4 points5 points  (0 children)

loud yelling in french

[–]stansteamer 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I am such a mic-nazi. I'm not confrontational or anything but if people annoy me for a total of like 8 seconds I will mute them. I don't want to hear your TV. I don't want to hear you breathe, or the neighbors dog barking. I play games to escape from things that annoy me and that list is very long.

But then I'm like, what if they can hear me breathe, and nobody tells me and mutes me, just like I do to them? And I reexamine my life and come up with no answers to this dark abyss we meander through, directionless.

[–]Equinox71 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mute button ON your mic are so useful for that reason. I always am checking if I muted myself or not. Don't want someone to hear me mumbling builds to myself.

[–]RyanBordello 4 points5 points  (0 children)

-huge bong rip followed by coughing for 10 minutes-

[–]600+ hoursdiulalasing 9 points10 points  (9 children)

Whos mike?

[–]RobTheKench 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Whose mic? Your mic. Who's Mike? You're Mike.

Hu's mic? Yaw mic.

[–]Sleepingbones[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

I don’t know yet it’s driving me mad

[–]Art_of_Ronin 7 points8 points  (3 children)

Option > Player List > Highlight annoying player and press X > Mute player...PRESTO! :3

You can do the same while on hunt when encounter annoying squeakers, immature adolescent and folks that just have loud music playing in the background to think they are a in-game walking boombox during hunt.

[–]The only bowgunner who uses healing ammoBigHardMephisto 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I never use VOIP in any video game. Party chat all the way.

[–]Art_of_Ronin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use in-game, but not as often unless I have to. I did one yesterday to just to warn the SOS lead that someone is AFK at camp and he taken my request and booted the AFK'er with Wildspire Bolero quest to hunt a Jyuratodus for Limited Bounty.

[–]MisterGrimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do this all the time...there always seems to be one person with their mic still on. Except for that one japanese guy singing along to some songs i couldn’t understand. I left his mic on, he wasn’t half bad!

[–]PyschoMouse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

One of the worst things I ever heard over a mic was during a Raid in Destiny, we got to the boss and took a 5 minute break. One guy didn't mute his mic, so, the other 5 people heard him....pleasing himself...it lasted way too before the party realised the guy could be kicked.

[–]lma24 3 points4 points  (1 child)

The first days I was paired up with a Japanese dude watching anime and possibly hentai while his mic was on lol

[–]Equinox71 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sounds hilarious if not uncomfortable.

[–]Gusterman49 2 points3 points  (0 children)

COUGH

Lip smacking

OKAAAAYYY MOOOOM

Extremely heavy mouth breathing

[–]Mentos13371 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When i started up the game i immediately turned off ingame voice chat anyway.

[–]BboyPa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm close to 100 hours and this is the very first multiplayer game I've played and never heard anyone speak through a mic.

[–]Dysheekie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The people who care about other people already do. It’s the a-holes that want us to listen to their music or hear them on a phone call that stay off mute.

[–]Bayani0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my first time playing there was a guy arguing with his girlfriend about drinking alone or together

[–]Megabrain12 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will let mike know

[–]Logtastic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I'm not specifically in a party, I don't even have my mic plugged in. I don't understand why nobody else is like this.
That said; you can disable all incoming chat.

[–]Queyonce 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank You!

[–]samsta303 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have never once heard someone's mic going off when I join a session. Guess I'm just lucky

[–]sheepgo_toheaven 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mike who?

Entire thread screams Mike Jones simultaneously

[–]underpants-gnome 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This and the fact that my 9 year old son often watches me play is why I keep chat turned off by default. He doesn't need to hear some guy calling everyone a bitch or some random child crying in the background while I prep for quests. It doesn't add anything to the ambiance for me, either.

[–]sixosixo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES! PLEASE!!!!

[–]Gabeishungry808 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree. I use my mic to tell people im sleep coating a monster so they look out for that. Of course the DB guy is stuck in demon dance as the monster is about to be fast asleep...

Edit: typo

[–]DecemberPaladin 2 points3 points  (8 children)

Some asshole had their dog barking and scared the shit out of my cats. My own fault for re-rolling and not ticking the appropriate box, but who lets their giant dog bark into the goddamn microphone? Seriously!

[–]WHAT WAS YOUR PLANSchwaAkari 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Sounds like your cats had a *ruff* time!

[–]PSNID: BiggsquishyEpicwood 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think you're barking up the wrong tree with this joke...

[–]ravenze 3 points4 points  (4 children)

My dog goes nuts while I'm playing this game. It's like she's "protecting" me from the scary dragons. I worry for our TV. The damn dog is going to jump through it one of these days.

[–]DecemberPaladin 1 point2 points  (3 children)

WAS THAT YOU, YOU SONOVABITCH

[–]ravenze 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Certianly could have been. Sorry about your cats, my cats aren't real fond of the dog either, but we were out-voted. Apparently cat-votes aren't worth as much in "family" decisions, so it was 3 vs. 1, for getting a dog. Even the F-ing landlord caved and allowed the dog...

[–]DecemberPaladin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

BETTER BE

(please, I was just joshin'. The odds are against it.)

[–]ravenze 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, no worries, but my dog IS annoying as all hell.

[–]MeridiusNukem 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Mic

[–]Sleepingbones[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Yes mic not mike he can’t be turned off.

[–]Kevmeister_B 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Just stop turning him on so much and let him calm down a bit.

[–]bow/lance/hh/h/cb/sabirdofhermes6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

idk, can you resist a hot mike?

[–]Weaver270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer squad sessions

[–]Ganjookie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sluuuuurp

Crying

Something milkshake

[–]JaegerxFett 0 points1 point  (1 child)

So much yes the first thing i do when i log in is go to the player list and mute everyone with a mic

[–]Bug DusterSljm8D 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's am option to turn Mic chat off globally, might save you some time.

[–]Notaworgen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mike was minding his own business on his MIC. Leave Mike alone.

[–]PEW PEW PEWfunkymagee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I finally gave up muting people after countless times of being subjected to someone mumbling to themselves over their music while between hunts, and just turned off voice chat.

Sorry to all my future teammates who didn't chat anyways.

[–]canolgon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Deep breath Deep breath Deeper breathe

[–]DesertRanger97 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mute the audio anyway now that I'm mostly farming and stuff.

[–]GSkittle666 0 points1 point  (1 child)

You can mute everyone as an option, that’s what I did to avoid this.

[–]TheLastAOG 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally the first thing I did when I checked the options. Got this trick from Warframe.

[–]AlexTheHandsome 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this cause my hammer main friend Mike who loves to send people flying mid combo?? I'm so sorry about him... I'm trying to get him to switch to a nice no flying friendly weapon like SnS.

[–]Crazeddoctor 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I don’t have this issue on Xbox :( wish I could join others lobbies

[–]Doc_The_God 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just matchmake for a session.

[–]Crazeddoctor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Doesn’t work, get an error every time.

[–]newdulss88 0 points1 point  (1 child)

What if we don't have a Mike in the room should we tell Alexa to turn off?

[–]Super_Supper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the main reasons I just sit in party chat even after my friends leave.

[–]Dixa 0 points1 point  (2 children)

you can cut and paste this into the reddit for any console game really.

[–]Sleepingbones[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Overwatch is next on my list.

[–]stansteamer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think voice chat may have heavily influenced my not playing ESO anymore.

[–]gugleme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is it never anyone enjoying business time?

[–]Halfazedninja 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just start a private party for that very reason

[–]De4dC3ll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always seem to get in a lobby with someone who wants to sing to themselves (horribly at that). Based on the distance in the sound it seems alot of them don't realize their Playstation cameras have mics in them that work like a headset would. However they never hear me when I literally beg them to unplug it.

[–]KrissyChuChu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I apologize for all the times someone heard me talk to my kitty or yell at her for jumping on the hamster tank.

[–]Avarice21 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Turn off voice chat. Problem solved.

[–]Sleepingbones[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Then what would I complain about?

[–]SponGino 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I DONT HAVE A MIKE!

[–]Never_MidnightNeverMidnightGames 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who is Mike! I don't know how to turn off this Mike person

[–]Psychorabbit86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My voice chat has been since I started the game I've never heard a single person

[–]Dung ConnoisseurLe_Va 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ain't seent him in a long time, I can do the guy like that.

[–]Equinox71 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, I barely even get people with mics, let alone using them. I feel for these accidents though.

[–]Czarooo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally had a guy arguing with his girl?/mother? over putting something next to his TV

[–]mechlordx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dammit mike you had one job

[–]IBlueWarfare09 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Passive bong rips in the background....

[–]XB1Omni_Devil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I apologize for anyone (un)lucky enough to have joined one of my sessions and had to deal with my daughter randomly singing Hamilton or something else from one of her emo music pandora stations. At least she has an above decent singing voice....

[–]ModestArk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When i played Ark i was forced to hear some The Walking Dead seasons over my friends mic.. sometimes we couldnt even understand the others...he was totally immune to my suggestions...😑

[–]Mounter of EldersHeliocentrix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But Mooooom, I gotta get my Gem so that I can have the same gear as Josh!

[–]Audric_Sage 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel antisocial for admitting it, but whenever I learn a game has voice chat, the first thing I always do is learn how to mute people.

If I hear you make a single noise, I'm probably gonna mute you immediately.

On hunts is a different story, but I'm still pretty liberal with my muting.

[–]Sleepingbones[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't like it here. I don't know what's going on. We're both stumbling around together in this unformed world whose rules and objectives are largely unknown, seemingly undecipherable or even possibly nonexistent, always on the verge of being killed by forces we don't understand!

[–]WyGaming 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive played around 100hours of multiplayer. I muted my mic since the beginning

[–]_cheefy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure the random noises are annoying but you sometimes hear some funny conversations

"C'mon baby when you coming over? You getting your hair done? PLATINUM BLONDE?! GOSH DAMN you going to like so fine baby come over when you're done so I can stick it in your butt"

[–]pthomz -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Who is Mike?

[–]BonesOfPotato -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

But I like turning him on, Mike is senpai.