What the fuck did you just fucking vanguard about vanguards, you little vanguard? I’ll have you vanguard I vanguarded top of my vanguard in the Vanguard Vanguards, and I’ve been vanguard in numerous secret vanguards on Vanguard, and I have over 300 confirmed vanguards.
Vanguard is vanguarded in vanguards and I’m the top vanguard in the entire Vanguard vanguards. You are nothing to me but just another vanguard. I will vanguard vanguard the fuck out with vanguards the likes of which has never been vanguarded before on Vanguard, vanguard my fucking vanguards.
Vanguard vanguard you vanguard vanguard away with vanguarding vanguards to me over the Vanguardnet? Vanguard again, vanguard. As vanguard vanguard I am vanguarding my vanguard across the vanguard and your vanguard is being vanguarded right now so you better vanguard, vanguards. The vanguard that vanguards out the vanguard you vanguard your vanguard. You’re vanguard, vanguard. I can vanguard anywhere, anytime, and vanguard can vanguard vanguard in over seven hundred vanguards, and that’s just with my vanguards.
Not only is vanguard extensively vanguarded in vanguards, but vanguard has access to vanguards and vanguard will vanguard it to its full vanguard to vanguard your vanguard off the vanguard of the vanguard, you little vanguard. If only vanguard vanguarded what unholy vanguard your little "vanguard" was about to vanguard down upon vanguard, maybe vanguard vanguarded your fucking vanguard.
But vanguard vanguarded, vanguard vanguarded, and now vanguard vanguarding the vanguard, you vanguarddamn vanguard. Vanguard will vanguard vanguards all over vanguard and vanguard will vanguard in vanguards.
Vanguard're vanguarding vanguard, vanguard.
I am going to spend hours writing up my full budget including minor annual expenses so that internet strangers can see it. I dont have any questions. This is definitely not a humblebrag.
Gross income (passive of course): see title. I think there are a few more zeroes but my fingers got tired typing
Expenses: Rent/cars/food/etc: about tree fiddy.
Debts: lol no
You may now ask questions.
Here's a wall of text of me pretending that I'm worried about this sudden and unexpected increase. Now verbally fellate me, you 700-credit scrubs.
So many poors have complained to the IRS over the years that they finally decided to bring the financially responsible equivalent of a hammer down on these banks and forced them to offer credit freezes for free.
Not that any of you richies would ever need it (would you??). My parents are in fact very lucid and show no signs of dementia. Boomer parents and timeshares go together like sauerkraut and bratwurst.
To survive your own credit freezes, go to any local store and gather as much supplies as you can. Do whatever it takes to get everything you think you'll need for the next 20+ years. Remember, you'll be living underground when the credit snow starts falling. Fight elderly people, trample over 12 y/o girls, maybe even kill poor people for anything that you will need. Food, water, matches, clothes, generator, FICO credit reports, bit coins, etc. Split up with your family individually and go to each local market. The new Credit Ice Age is starting today and the world will soon be frozen over for who knows how long.
Build a nuclear shelter in your backyard and store your supplies in there. Don't let your friends, family, or neighbors in. They're probably poor people and will become your eventual demise.
Instead, fill your shelter will the hottest of hot wives you see. You will be given a PIN that you'll need to lift or remove the freeze in the future, so every hot wife in sight is going to want to have sex with you and take your seed.
The bill was passed in May. It is effective as of today.
May God and Dave Ramsey be with you all.
Because Starbucks made you their little bitch. You can buy thousands of coffee beans for the price of a few lentils and drink them alone at your apartment. "Whats that you say you like to talk to the people that work at your starbucks, and the people you meet there". LMAO enjoy being a poor with the kinda friends you'll meet there. I'm enjoying my coffee that I made at home for 11 fractions of a penny, and my bearded dragon and hot wife are the only friends I'm ever going to need. By the way you know what I do with all that money I save, I invest it in Vanguard! You losers probably have a wells Fargo account and a Discover card. The other day I stopped at a steak house for a bearded dragon symposium and some guy tried to pay with a Discover card, the waiter laughed and took his picture for their FIRE wall of shame and yelled "Hey everyone look at the winners we got here, they have a discover card". I went in there again today and they added a caption to his photo on the wall that said "Little dick Discover boy and his nickel piece hussie".
Fun fact: I also don't know anything about value at risk, so go ahead and invest all of your principal in a principled fund. I'm sure it won't be higher risk and higher in fees than $VTI.
If you think that the rent is too damn high you are too damn wrong. You just need a room mate. I make $700k in the bay area and I still live with my hot roomate wife, its 3% of my income to live there, I can't afford it without roomates. Live within your poor means.
Bearded dragon stable $4000
Bearded dragon breeding program $600
Bad dragon pornhub community channel sponsorship -$400
Bad dragon cum lube $1000
Vanguard shrine upkeep $7000
Credit cards are evil and if you give half a fuck about being a good human being, you'll make sure any credit card you use gets absolutely nothing out of having you as a customer. You're entitled to borrow thousands of their dollars while giving nothing in return.
Not calling the 800 number for every single institution you do business with and arguing with the customer service reps is literally the same as drowning puppies in the river. You might as well buy a bearded dragon every week and throw it in the trash.
You people disgust me.
I know it isn’t but I just want you to tell me I’m pretty, thanks
So I never came to the human world until like 3 years ago. I am a humanoid faun. After a failed coup involving some dickbag named Aslan I am being kicked out of Narnia and forced to immigrate to the human world. I have $8000 Narnian lion dollars saved up in the Jadis the white which community credit union. Do you think ALLY bank will accept a transdimensional transfer? I'm really good at sales despite being unable to pick the right side in a magical creature revolution.
Just start working at a vegan restaurant and dig customers' leftovers out of the garbage, which there is a lot of because not even vegans like eating their own food. Slow cook what you scavenge inside a crock pot filled with your hot wife's feces. (This probably makes it non-vegan. Oh well)
Flies and maggots add flavor and protein, but if you are a total pussy and/or Poor you can feed them to your bearded dragon instead.
Paying for food in 2018 is like paying for porn in 2018. Sure, you can watch James Deen eat In N Out burger for 15 dollars a month, but that would be stupid because (I am assuming) your cock is way bigger than his. If this isn't true, I'm so sorry.
This money is not for college use. I already have $2.3 million in her 529 for that. I know the answer is a passively managed index fund, but I want everyone here to know that my child is already richer than you'll ever be. And she's going to be attractive, because my wife is hot.
I know 800k is a small downpayment, but I'm thinking even with inflation it should be good enough for 10% of a starter home.
Ok for context, I'm a 27 year old guy who made a lot off bitcoin. I'm not insanely rich, but it was enough for me to quit my job so I could figure out the rest of my life.
However, besides traveling and my hobbies, all I do is jack off. I have entire days filled with nothing but masturbation. I'm not a total slob about it, I'll go to the gym, read, eat healthy, etc... but it seems like 20 minutes after I get on the computer my pants are down.
I.... I don't think I can stop. I have a girlfriend but our relationship is semi-long distance at the moment, so I won't jack off for a few days before I see her (so she won't be suspicious of my small loads)... but fuck.
Hi personalfinance! I wanted to ask everyone about their 2008 experiences. How did you survive the depths of the Great Depression of 2008 with your STEM degree? How were you able to survive without being able to put $100k a year into your Vanguard mutual funds?
I'm particularly interested in upvoting those of you who talk about how hard it was while dropping a few lines about how rich you are now.