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There’s going to be a lot of mid-October nuclear scare babies born in Hawaii

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I bet there were just a ton of awkward conversations today.

140 points · 6 months ago

“I’ve always loved you”


“Well, now that we’re not dead, wanna grab a coffee?”

Hopefully the start of something happy instead of awkward, but yeah. Definitely out of place declarations all over the place

I do think someone had this exact interaction, it's on one of the news Reddit threads.

8 points · 6 months ago · edited 3 months ago

He went to concert

Original Poster419 points · 6 months ago

“ hey Danielle, remember when you said you wouldn’t fuck me if it was your last day on earth? Well, funny story, you get that emergency alert?”



The true purpose of the hack revealed!

Sex experts hate this!

but she said she wouldn't let you pork on her last day on Earth.

Danielle seems indecisive.

People often change their minds in intense situations.

Danielle is a genius at not putting out.

I thought it was the relief afterward and the reminder that you could lose that someone special at anytime. But nope, it’s a quickie in the basement

Lucky bastard.

only took 38 minutes

So. . . Isn't that still a "nope"?

196 points · 6 months ago

Yeah, lucky it didn't happen, otherwise we would've had scared nuclear babies in October.


X-Men originates from Hawaii. Who knew.

Bail is only temporary, and is a privilege that not every offender gets.

something is wrong with me, it took me a good ten-fifteen seconds to make sense of the joke.

must be the radiation.

Underrated comment!


I like this thought, that some people used what they thought were their last moments to make love, and survived, and will have new children as a result.

Imagine the story they'd tell of how was the child born...

You were an accident. Just like the guy who pushed the alert

People shouldn't have kids unless they're emotionally and mentally capable and can afford them without assistance. Hopefully there's enough plan b in hawaii

Tough luck, people are going to anyway.

No need to tell us all how you got here buddy...

Sure thing, pal. I'll keep it to myself ;)

Still probably less traumatic than realizing if you are born in November your parents probably fucked on Valentines Day.

You owe your existence to a corporate holiday.

My daughter was born on November 14th 😻

Me too! I pray that your child isn't nearly as disturbed as I was once I put two-and-two together 😅

27 points · 6 months ago

You ruined my birthday

It was enviable.

I'm 9 months or so after my dad's birthday. I was made during birthday sex.

My parents birthdays were in the same month, 20th and 25th. I was born 9 months later. Im not sure whose birthday sex created me.

Maybe they just did it for 6 days straight?

Same. Wasn't thrilled to realize that haha

I can beat this one.. all my parents children have a December birthday. What’s in March you ask?

Dad’s birthday.


November 13th here :'(

Comment deleted6 months ago(2 children)

40 weeks from February 14th? November 21st. What's your point?

You can turn up four weeks early...

Still less traumatic than realising you are a carnival baby.

You fucker

I was a birthday present for my dad.

In a sense I was too. Though I was born on his birthday, not conceived on it!

Trying for a baby and if this round is the one, the baby got their start right after their greatgrandmothers funerals.

I'm safe, I was born in May and my parents birthdays are in June and December (I'm premature, 8 months).

What a relief this doesn't apply to me since I was born at the end of August.

Wait..... I was a little over two months premature....CRAP!

i had no idea what everyone here was talking about, didn't want to ask about it because reddit seems to consider anything less than absolute omniscience a weakness, so i googled Hawaii, read on headline, laughed out loud, and felt i should come back to share.


... what?

someone pressed the wrong button? are you fucking kidding me? like the cartoon depictions of the motherfucking nuclear football, like some jackass in front of a switchboard and wall of surveillance monitors bumped a big red 'that was easy' looking ass button with a childlike image of a missile? what kind of sitcom Truman Show nightmare am i having right now, jesus christ lol.

i'm not sure if i want to acknowledge how much that sounds like total bullshit or take it at face value because it's hilarious that way. what the hell rofl

They were going through a mock emergency which should have stopped just before the final procedure. The accident happened when someone didn't stop and the whole thing activated for real. The fix is to implement a two person approval so that it takes at least two people to fuck up instead of one.

that makes sense more sense. the way it's being reported just sounds like an SNL skit is all.

1 point · 6 months ago

The real fix is to make separate passwords for each action, so if you click the wrong button you wouldn't be able to accidentally activate the real emergency alert system, and the person responsible could be held accountable if a false alarm happens anyways.

A system like that probably already existed. I highly doubt the emergency procedure for a situation like this was to just push a big red button. What likely happened was that the controller on duty was just going through the mock emergency just like he did every other day and got himself stuck in autopilot and didn't pull himself out before the final step. With two person authorization it would prevent someone in autopilot from reaching the final step as he would then have to actively search for that second authorization and that second person would not be instructed to continue unless it was a real emergency.

The only problem is if one of those 2 people is incapacitated, called in sick or is on a bathroom break.

The procedures clearly need to be looked at. I wouldn't want to overly complicate the issue so that there is no warning due to the second person being unavailable, but it shouldn't be as simple as oops I hit the wrong button.

I don't think two people would be specifically assigned just for button authorisation duty. It is more likely that whoever is currently at the controls would go through the regular emergency procedure and then the final step would just require a second person (probably a supervisor) to enter his code before the controller can finish.

But what if two people fuck up, then we need a 3 person approval fix

The fix is to implement a two person approval

I assumed people would have thought about this kind of things by now...

This sounds incredibly dangerous. Now the next alert people won't listen to because it might be a false alarm again.

If all you needed to do was Google it first then Reddit was right

and that would be why i googled it first lol

Perhaps a lot of nuclear scare credit card purchase regret as well.

“The world is about to end.”

“Let’s bring a baby into it!”

I don’t think they were thinking that far ahead...

That’s one way to break the ice with someone you like...

There are generally a lot of mid-October babies born anyway because people tend to stay inside during the winter, and then, you know.

What, what happens? Why is everyone smiling? What, you guys?

Stop laughing at me!

Baby boom.

Baby ka-boom*

Someone in /r/4chan banged his sister. Apparently there may be some inbred babies too.

Original Poster1 point · 6 months ago

Toppest of keks

I feel there is a lacking of CCTV footage, there's something greater that is held in those tapes which the world must see

2 points · 6 months ago

I'm surprised stories of murder / suicide haven't emerged.

Right maybe we are fucked up for thinking that. Or they are dead and can't come post.

Yeah I was thinking if I got that notice it would be time to rob a nearby gun store or pawnshop then book it at 120 mph toward the middle of the country

I guess when your on an island looting won’t help you and there is no where to escape to so...

Something like False Aloomers?

Should we call this baby boom the 'false alarm boom' if there is a noticeable baby boom around October?

Talk about a new generation of baby boomers

1 point · 3 months ago

RemindMe! October 13

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