all 78 comments

[–]thoawaydatrash 158 points159 points  (5 children)

I bet there were just a ton of awkward conversations today.

[–]alibaba15 133 points134 points  (4 children)

“I’ve always loved you”


“Well, now that we’re not dead, wanna grab a coffee?”

Hopefully the start of something happy instead of awkward, but yeah. Definitely out of place declarations all over the place

[–]TheRedBaron91 15 points16 points  (3 children)

I do think someone had this exact interaction, it's on one of the news Reddit threads.

[–]bjskifreak[S] 416 points417 points  (9 children)

“ hey Danielle, remember when you said you wouldn’t fuck me if it was your last day on earth? Well, funny story, you get that emergency alert?”



[–]The_camperdave 119 points120 points  (1 child)

The true purpose of the hack revealed!

[–]densititify 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Sex experts hate this!

[–]Anomalocaria 63 points64 points  (2 children)

but she said she wouldn't let you pork on her last day on Earth.

Danielle seems indecisive.

[–]BetaThetaOmega 12 points13 points  (0 children)

People often change their minds in intense situations.

[–]rememberaccountafter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Danielle is a genius at not putting out.

[–]El_MillienniumFalcon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I thought it was the relief afterward and the reminder that you could lose that someone special at anytime. But nope, it’s a quickie in the basement

[–]BetaThetaOmega 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lucky bastard.

[–]aboganza 0 points1 point  (0 children)

only took 38 minutes

[–]MyTrueIdiotSelf990 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So. . . Isn't that still a "nope"?

[–]Jeggasyn 199 points200 points  (6 children)

Yeah, lucky it didn't happen, otherwise we would've had scared nuclear babies in October.

[–]Freedmad25 29 points30 points  (0 children)


[–]Shippoyasha 10 points11 points  (0 children)

X-Men originates from Hawaii. Who knew.

[–]SgWaterQn 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bail is only temporary, and is a privilege that not every offender gets.

[–]Anomalocaria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

something is wrong with me, it took me a good ten-fifteen seconds to make sense of the joke.

must be the radiation.

[–]howdy_bc -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Underrated comment!

[–]indecisive_maybe 105 points106 points  (6 children)

I like this thought, that some people used what they thought were their last moments to make love, and survived, and will have new children as a result.

[–]UltraWorlds 48 points49 points  (1 child)

Imagine the story they'd tell of how was the child born...

[–]WildWeasel46 36 points37 points  (0 children)

You were an accident. Just like the guy who pushed the alert

[–]mattricide 14 points15 points  (3 children)

People shouldn't have kids unless they're emotionally and mentally capable and can afford them without assistance. Hopefully there's enough plan b in hawaii

[–]indecisive_maybe -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Tough luck, people are going to anyway.

[–]UnderstandingLogic 2 points3 points  (1 child)

No need to tell us all how you got here buddy...

[–]indecisive_maybe -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sure thing, pal. I'll keep it to myself ;)

[–]AVeryKindPerson 98 points99 points  (21 children)

Still probably less traumatic than realizing if you are born in November your parents probably fucked on Valentines Day.

You owe your existence to a corporate holiday.

[–]WhichWayzUp 40 points41 points  (1 child)

My daughter was born on November 14th 😻

[–]EEDDDWWWAARRRD 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Me too! I pray that your child isn't nearly as disturbed as I was once I put two-and-two together 😅

[–]henbush 28 points29 points  (1 child)

You ruined my birthday

[–]supersammy00 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It was enviable.

[–]Well-That-Was-Bad 17 points18 points  (3 children)

I'm 9 months or so after my dad's birthday. I was made during birthday sex.

[–]MagicTurtleMum 11 points12 points  (1 child)

My parents birthdays were in the same month, 20th and 25th. I was born 9 months later. Im not sure whose birthday sex created me.

[–]FCCCaffeineQueen 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe they just did it for 6 days straight?

[–]TheManOTheHour 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. Wasn't thrilled to realize that haha

[–]dude_who_could 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I can beat this one.. all my parents children have a December birthday. What’s in March you ask?

Dad’s birthday.

[–]dirkdragonslayer 6 points7 points  (0 children)


[–]cooltonsnook 4 points5 points  (0 children)

November 13th here :'(

[–]Jellyna 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Still less traumatic than realising you are a carnival baby.

[–]DjangoZero 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You fucker

[–]spbeeking 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I was a birthday present for my dad.

[–]johnpflyrc 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a sense I was too. Though I was born on his birthday, not conceived on it!

[–]Ikuisuus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Trying for a baby and if this round is the one, the baby got their start right after their greatgrandmothers funerals.

[–]RMasterGP 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm safe, I was born in May and my parents birthdays are in June and December (I'm premature, 8 months).

[–]Whoden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What a relief this doesn't apply to me since I was born at the end of August.

Wait..... I was a little over two months premature....CRAP!

[–]Anomalocaria 33 points34 points  (11 children)

i had no idea what everyone here was talking about, didn't want to ask about it because reddit seems to consider anything less than absolute omniscience a weakness, so i googled Hawaii, read on headline, laughed out loud, and felt i should come back to share.


... what?

someone pressed the wrong button? are you fucking kidding me? like the cartoon depictions of the motherfucking nuclear football, like some jackass in front of a switchboard and wall of surveillance monitors bumped a big red 'that was easy' looking ass button with a childlike image of a missile? what kind of sitcom Truman Show nightmare am i having right now, jesus christ lol.

i'm not sure if i want to acknowledge how much that sounds like total bullshit or take it at face value because it's hilarious that way. what the hell rofl

[–]Ooderman 14 points15 points  (8 children)

They were going through a mock emergency which should have stopped just before the final procedure. The accident happened when someone didn't stop and the whole thing activated for real. The fix is to implement a two person approval so that it takes at least two people to fuck up instead of one.

[–]Anomalocaria 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that makes sense more sense. the way it's being reported just sounds like an SNL skit is all.

[–]That_Pokerface 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The real fix is to make separate passwords for each action, so if you click the wrong button you wouldn't be able to accidentally activate the real emergency alert system, and the person responsible could be held accountable if a false alarm happens anyways.

[–]Ooderman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A system like that probably already existed. I highly doubt the emergency procedure for a situation like this was to just push a big red button. What likely happened was that the controller on duty was just going through the mock emergency just like he did every other day and got himself stuck in autopilot and didn't pull himself out before the final step. With two person authorization it would prevent someone in autopilot from reaching the final step as he would then have to actively search for that second authorization and that second person would not be instructed to continue unless it was a real emergency.

[–]ImHovahThisSht 0 points1 point  (1 child)

The only problem is if one of those 2 people is incapacitated, called in sick or is on a bathroom break.

The procedures clearly need to be looked at. I wouldn't want to overly complicate the issue so that there is no warning due to the second person being unavailable, but it shouldn't be as simple as oops I hit the wrong button.

[–]Ooderman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think two people would be specifically assigned just for button authorisation duty. It is more likely that whoever is currently at the controls would go through the regular emergency procedure and then the final step would just require a second person (probably a supervisor) to enter his code before the controller can finish.

[–]Goreka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if two people fuck up, then we need a 3 person approval fix

[–]Sq1873 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fix is to implement a two person approval

I assumed people would have thought about this kind of things by now...

[–]I_FAP_TO_TURKEYS -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This sounds incredibly dangerous. Now the next alert people won't listen to because it might be a false alarm again.

[–]Gargomon251 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If all you needed to do was Google it first then Reddit was right

[–]Anomalocaria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

and that would be why i googled it first lol

[–]catchin_predators 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Perhaps a lot of nuclear scare credit card purchase regret as well.

[–]Smartierpantss 9 points10 points  (1 child)

“The world is about to end.”

“Let’s bring a baby into it!”

[–]darksoulsnstuff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t think they were thinking that far ahead...

[–]CratedComments 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s one way to break the ice with someone you like...

[–]psychosocial-- 8 points9 points  (1 child)

There are generally a lot of mid-October babies born anyway because people tend to stay inside during the winter, and then, you know.

[–]PoorEdgarDerby 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What, what happens? Why is everyone smiling? What, you guys?

Stop laughing at me!

[–]Jizzicle 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Baby boom.

[–]BeCoolAboutIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Baby ka-boom*

[–]raffbr2 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Someone in /r/4chan banged his sister. Apparently there may be some inbred babies too.


[–]bjskifreak[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Toppest of keks

[–]end_all_be_all 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel there is a lacking of CCTV footage, there's something greater that is held in those tapes which the world must see

[–]abs159 1 point2 points  (2 children)

I'm surprised stories of murder / suicide haven't emerged.

[–]longedhairguy 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Right maybe we are fucked up for thinking that. Or they are dead and can't come post.

[–]darksoulsnstuff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I was thinking if I got that notice it would be time to rob a nearby gun store or pawnshop then book it at 120 mph toward the middle of the country

I guess when your on an island looting won’t help you and there is no where to escape to so...

[–]PoorEdgarDerby 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something like False Aloomers?

[–]loomynartylenny 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should we call this baby boom the 'false alarm boom' if there is a noticeable baby boom around October?

[–]Qithe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk about a new generation of baby boomers