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4.1k

Dates are pre sex interviews

174 comments
91% Upvoted
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level 1
594 points · 4 months ago

If you're religious it is a very long interview

level 2
717 points · 4 months ago

Unpaid internship

level 3
69 points · 4 months ago

You're the reason I read comments

level 4

Seconded

level 4
-21 points · 4 months ago(0 children)
level 3

You get fucked a lot during an unpaid internship though

level 4

Isn’t the “unpaid” part referring to no sex?

level 5

It is. I meant in an actual unpaid internship you get fucked so him comparing it to unpaid internship doesn't add up.

level 6

Pretty brilliant. Went right over my head.

level 3

Not unpaid if your a guy.

level 2

Unless you’re Mormon

level 3

Still a long process. First date to wedding day was 4 months for my first wife. Absurdly short for marriage standards but a long damn time to wait for sex

level 4

first wife

You on your third yet?

level 5

Workin on it. Sadly the first and second weren't a polygamy type situation (/s)... Also, apparently not being able to have kids is an acceptable reason to ask for divorce in the Mormon cult

level 6

Makes sense from an outside POV seeing as y’all crank out kids like no tomorrow

level 2

Not if it's a cool religion.

level 1

That’s why a firm handshake is important.

level 2
251 points · 4 months ago

Also, eye contact and name memorization.

level 3

"It was nice to meet you, Jane. I hope we'll get to meet again, Jane."

level 4

Me Tarzan. Tarzan going to pretend you Jane tonight.

level 5

This one got me. Well done Reddit

level 5

What did I just watch?

level 6

those good, good boys

level 5

Omg that's too much.

level 5

hello fellow mbmbambino

level 3
Comment deleted4 months ago(1 child)
level 4

Well hello there, Andy.

level 3

How fucked am I if I read "memeorization"?

level 4

Pretty fucked :/

level 3

"That sex was amazing, Mary! The best I ever had!"

"Mary is my sister, I'm John."

oh.

level 3
2 points · 4 months ago

Sea cucumber! Sea cucumber!

level 2

Just remember, that hand has had a dick in it

level 3

Reddit has been really meta lately.

level 2

Helps to reach under and gently cup the elbow as well.

level 2
2 points · 4 months ago
level 2

Firm handshakes all around.

level 2

A firm shake on something else iss even more so

level 2

Heads up, chest out and appear confident. You know what you are doing.

level 1

But they never check references

level 2

At a certain level, trust me, they check references

level 3

Facebook/Instagram instead of LinkedIn.

level 3

Should I hand out head shots of my dong on the first or second interview?

level 4
7 points · 4 months ago

You send them along with your CV. This is how you get invited to interviews.

level 3

And at some point you have to lie about having less experience than you actually do. The number five is a lot easier to digest than the number 30.

level 2

Sometimes your references are your friends who put in a good word for you : ) !

level 3
13 points · 4 months ago

Most references are rumors... from people you both don't like... having common enemies is a good sign for me

level 4

The enemy of my enemy is my friend with benefits?

level 5

There we go.

level 4

My frenemies frenemies are my frienemies.

level 4

Ahaha that’s also true.

level 2

But background check and security clearance is a must

level 3

STD check

level 2

I did! And got brownie points for it. But we aren't in a standard relationship...

level 2

You can make up references

level 1

I've always been bad at interviews so this explains everything...

level 1

A presexquisite if you will.

level 2

golfclap

level 3

Pray that the date doesnt lead to any other kind of clap.

level 4

What about this kind of clap?

nsfw

level 5

Not as risky a click as I expected.

level 1

Post sex interviews, for some

level 2

Came here to say that!

level 3

'came'

level 4

'here'

level 5

'to'

level 6

‘say’

level 7

'that'

level 8

Winner winner winner winner!

level 9

Let's have a chicken dinner together

level 1

Gotta make sure he's sponge worthy.

level 2

i work with a 24 year old, he wouldnt know what that meant. He also had never heard of Paul Newman. " isnt that some kind of frozen pizza?"

level 3

“The guy with all the salad dressings?”

level 2

Seinfeld

level 3

indeed, you get the reference

level 2

what

level 1

Honestly if you think of relationships in general as a series of transactions where the payoff is sex then you'll also be one of those people who wonder why you never have any sort of meaningful relationship.

level 2

Can confirm.

I am alone every day.

level 1
18 points · 4 months ago

This guy isn’t married

level 1

U don’t need to date someone to know if you are gonna fuck them. You date people to find someone you want to hang around after you fuck.

I’m a romantic like that.

level 2

You also follow rules 1 & 2 good sir or madam.

level 1

I thought dates were to make sure they aren't going to make your life miserable. If they aren't crazy and you get along, sex will be sprinkles on the ice cream rather than the ice cream itself!

level 1

If all you're interested in is sex. While I agree that may be the case for many people, ideally, dates should not even be a gauge on a person. Both people should focus on making it as good a date as possible rather than analyzing the others actions. You can tell you won't be good for eachother when your attempts at having fun and having a good date, and what that means to each of you, don't align.

level 2

This guy knows how to Orbit.

level 2

I feel ya, but without the possibility of sex/romance to worry about ain't that just 'hanging out'?

level 3

No, but neither is it a transaction.

level 4

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

I think all I was trying to say is that the term 'date' implies some sexual/romantic tension where people are normally more on edge and critical of their own and their partner's mannerisms and potential compatibility. 'Hanging out' is just two people hanging out without any sexual tension.

Men and women or any two people with compatible sexual orientations can be friends and hang out without it being a date. Dates imply a little more pressure and scrutiny of character. I don't know where you think I was implying anything transactional with my comment.

level 5

I was saying that OP considers it a transaction. But I was also saying that sometimes you go on a date with someone to get to know them by just hanging out, with the possibility of there being more. By making a "date" different from "hanging out" you are immediately making the pressure higher, and making the whole thing a performance to be analysed.

The most successful dates are the ones where it really is just two people who like each other sexually / romantically hang out.

level 6

I see. I apologize for misunderstanding.

level 5

Huh. I find that tension around just about everyone I think is hot whether "hanging out" or not.

level 6

Pandas are notorious for their virility.

level 6

That is what I meant. If your idea of a great date is a lot of tension while mine is getting to know eachother and being relaxed, then we likely aren't very compatible.

level 2

R/niceguys

level 3

0/10 literally no substance to this troll

level 1
level 1

So many upvotes

level 1

I always take my grandfather’s advice and take 5 copies of my résumé.

level 1

Yup, and if you start working that day, its probably a bad sign.

level 1

And a lot of times the interviewer expect you to start working immediately.

level 1

And tinder is a temp agency

level 1

Or pre-romance interviews.

level 2

For women, at least

level 1

In my experience, the dates usually start happening after the sex.

level 2

I can confirm your statement, at least in this instance. I just ran into a girl I've only met once, had a one night stand, and then made plans to go on an actual date. Not always the case but it does happen.

level 1
Comment deleted4 months ago(3 children)
level 2

See you tomorrow!

level 2

triggered

level 3

tRIgGeREd

level 1

Yeah, but mention that on a date and suddenly I'm the asshole

level 1

Nope, Dates are old saggy balls that has another hard ball in it. Tastes good and are considered healthy.

level 1
14 points · 4 months ago

i mean thats pretty objectifying.

like if you're thinking about it that way then the person is just a sex object.

level 2

In general I agree, but sometimes you do go on a date with someone just to have sex with them and if it’s easy for both people to understand that I think it’s fine

level 3

yeah i guess that i don't have any problems with it in general when it comes down to two people setting out for that purpose. I personally wouldn't do it because it doesn't match up with my morals, but i dont really have a problem with other people doing it as long as both parties involved know what is implied.

level 4

I’ve actually had this exact same convo with a very good friend of mine. I think it’s very safe to say that if two individuals go out on a date (whether they call it a date or not) they obviously find each other sexually attractive. It’s how all relationships start. For a veeeery long time I was confused and would also be ashamed of the feelings that I had about girls that I just absolutely loved and had a crush on. I wanted to sleep with em’... like badly Lol and what I learned over time is that it’s completely okay. These feelings are natural.

Being sexually attracted to someone is fine. Going out on a date with someone can be very fun. The important thing here is being honest and not lose personal integrity in the process. I’m all for people doing the things that they’re comfortable doing, but in todays world it’s actually extremely difficult to find someone who’s honest with themselves and who knows what they want. People fear commitment/relationships... due to their own personal reasons of course and it makes me sad. I can’t tell you how many times i’ve had run-ins with women where they say one thing when they’re drunk and the exact opposite when they’re sober. Or where they say “Oh well you know... i’m a free spirit and i’m not really lookin’ for anything serious right now.” The dating game - is so - weird. These people like to beat around the bush and not reveal themselves because then they feel vulnerable. But everyones vulnerable and everyone has their fair amount of baggage.

So, I admire your resolve and wish you the very best in finding that special person : ) !

Also i’m sorry for the long response. I enjoyed reading your comment because it reminded me very much of myself during my undergrad years.

level 2

You're thinking about it as if it is a male interviewing a female. How many times do you dye that hair blue? Cmon.

level 3

What do you mean? Nothing about the first comment suggested gender either way.

level 1

Great at interviews, but not this kind whatsoever

level 1
2 points · 4 months ago
level 1

Interviews are pre sex dates

level 1

Incel

level 1

That's it! I just don't interview well.

level 1

By strict chronology, wouldn’t every interview be a pre-sex interview unless you had had sex with the person?

level 1

I prefer to show up hired already

level 1

I never get the job

level 1

Dates are rejection training

level 1

What if it’s celibate

level 1

I agree with it lol

level 1

Insert joke from "The Office"

level 1

"So... you here for a job?"

level 2

Are you offering me a job?

level 1
1 point · 4 months ago · edited 4 months ago

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level 1
level 1

And sex is pre relationship interviews

level 1

My resume is all lies.

level 1

I would like to be able to side step an interview the same way you can with a date.

"Would you like to pay the bill?"

level 1
[deleted]
1 point · 4 months ago

And you want a good resume :0 (clean of STDS, not too much emotional baggage)

level 2

Right. You want her to be clean, because forming a connection with a condom sucks.

level 1

Don’t forget to say sex a lot, so when she thinks of sex your face comes up

level 1

Well that's a bit optimistic

level 1

This Is Now My Tinder pickupline, but I did quote a wise redditor! (You)

level 2

Tinder is such a great app for men to get laid! It’s perfect, I love it

level 1

Very good one sir

level 1

Team interview always more difficult

level 1

The anxiety of not knowing if you got the job or not

level 1

No wonder I dont have a job

level 1

Interviews with alcohol.

level 1

"Where do you see yourself in 5 hours...?"

level 1

Sometimes you go on a date because you'd like some company.

level 1

And like job interviews they are mostly unproductive and usually results in one side never calling the other side again.

level 1

That’s why I don’t have a job

level 1

Reminds me of that movie Amazon Women on the Moon.

"Before we leave, do me one small favor, would you? Would you mind showing me your credit card and a valid driver's license?"

https://youtu.be/DSfnZMmOYws

level 1

And sex is pre marriage interviews

level 1

That's where I've been fucking up. I should have brought a resume along with a complete set of skills and references for those skills.

level 1

If your whole point in having a date and marriage is to have sex, you have a very sad life imo

level 1

Fuck I had this thought years ago

level 1

Hhmm, now you've got me craving pre interview sex

level 1

I like to use sex as an icebreaker.

level 1

You're the very first person to have conceptualized it like that!

level 1

No shit.

level 1

Relationships are sex and mating embellishments

level 2

Backwards

level 3
-8 points · 4 months ago(0 children)
level 4

Scientifically, humans are evolved to be a highly social species.

Relationships are intrinsic to our nature, and every bit as important to our growth and survival as repopulation.

level 5
[deleted]
0 points · 4 months ago

Not true. I've not been involved in a relationship for a good long while. I've so far managed to survive, and the strippers are grateful for the drinks I buy them.

level 6

I’m not talking about sexual relationships, I’m saying in general.

Although damn you, you got a laugh out of me with the last bit lol

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