Hello, In spite of the fact that I feel very depressed, I am 35 years old female and I am at my new job now and I already know and heard that there are a few females who spread nasty rumors about me, make not nice jokes, talk shit behind my back to other workers etc. I feel very bad... My self esteem dropped to 0. I feel like a looser who can’t fit in... those two females are very good like profesionals, they have more experience than I do, they are very liked by the boss so I know that if I speak out about that situation I would be blamed as a problem, boss need them because they are very experienced workers .... any advise? Should i confront them? I am affraid to make situation worse... besides I am very depressed now because of other things too, no energy to look for new job...:( I am also woried about financial situation as I have two kids.
Ever since I was a child I’ve been fascinated with Aesop’s fables. I’ve always found them witty and ironic and I swore I would never be as stupid as the characters the stories revolved around. One of my favorites is called "The Horse and the Stag". This particular fable explores the theme of self-destructing vengeance. The story is about a horse who wanted to revenge himself on the stag who dared to intrude into the horse’s domain and share his pasture. The horse decided to seek help from a man and by doing so he became the man’s slave. The moral of this fable is the following: “He who seeks to injure others often injures only himself.” I remember myself being frightened when I read the story for the first time. Coming from a deeply religious background (my mother is a devout Christian) I always thought I would never be like the horse in the fable. I instantly realized that the man in the story symbolized the devil who took advantage of the horse and enslaved him. Little did I know at the time that I would get very close to becoming that horse.
The following events happened when I was around 10 years old. I should mention that I grew up in a pretty poor neighborhood and back in the day I had a lot of friends who were, let’s say, rowdies. We would trespass areas that were off-limits, vandalize property and do a lot of nasty things in general. So my background could hardly be called decent. That said, I always was “the quiet guy” who would never get in a fight or do risky things unless absolutely necessary. Unfortunately, things didn’t go that well at my school. Over the course of five years, I was constantly bullied by a classmate of mine. He was a pretty violent guy who would always pick on me. Thanks to him I suffered two concussions and lost hearing in my right ear aside from numerous minor injuries. When I was in my fourth grade I decided I had enough and started planning my revenge. The idea was to get my friends and beat him senseless with wooden sticks. I knew I was planning something illegal and, although I was only 10 at the time and couldn’t be prosecuted, a lot of my friends were older than me by 3-4 years and I didn’t want them to get in trouble. I decided to make a plan as robust as my minor mind could imagine. First of all, I studied my target’s weekly routine. I learned that he visited a swimming pool not that far from my home two times a week: on Wednesdays and Fridays. The nearest path from the swimming pool to the bus stop led through a quiet sandlot, far from the road. People usually avoided that place because it was pretty creepy and unsafe with graffiti on the walls and broken beer bottles lying on the ground. Fortunately, my target didn’t mind the scenery and took that path every time he left the swimming pool. I knew it was a perfect place to lay our ambush. I discussed my plan with my friends and we decided we needed some adjustments. There were five of us in total and to minimize our risk of getting caught we thought it might be a good idea to come to the future crime scene one by one. We needed to cover our faces so I went ahead and bought five cheap bandanas. Why didn’t we use our scarves or hats you would ask? Because we intended to burn all our clothes in the nearest wood after we were done. I didn’t want to give that guy a single hint of who we were. The day before Wednesday I gathered with my friends one last time to discuss the final version of the plan. At 7 PM, 15 minutes before the time our target usually left the swimming pool, we would gather behind the building with black plastic bags full of spare clothes and thick wooden branches hidden under our garments. We would put on our bandanas and hoods and take our positions. On spotting the target I would give a signal to everyone and we would ambush the poor guy. I specifically instructed everyone to beat him anywhere but the head. It wasn’t supposed to be a murder, merely a lesson. After the deed would be done we would hide our improvised clubs under our garments and disband only to meet half an hour later in the woods to burn our clothes. I asked one of my friends to go to the nearest phone booth and call the ambulance before heading for the woods. I couldn’t allow my voice to be recorded in case anyone would suspect me. The next day we met at the set place on the set time and laid our ambush. My heart was pounding, my hands became sweaty but I knew it had to be done, there was no other way around. The clock was ticking and at 7:15… Nothing happened. We waited 10 more minutes, then 10 more and after half an hour had passed it was evident that no one was coming. Finally, I signaled everyone to abort the mission and we quickly disbanded. That day I went home exhausted but oddly happy.
The next day I woke up, got through my morning routine and went to school. I couldn’t stop thinking what would’ve happened had the guy appeared on time. The thought of him writhing in pain just wouldn’t leave my mind. I felt neither pity nor disgust. I simply felt nothing. Coincidentally, that day we had a Literature class where we discussed Aesop’s fables and the morals each of them had. I instantly remembered "The Horse and the Stag" and felt ashamed of myself. I couldn’t believe I had almost become the horse from that tale and only dumb luck saved me that day. Finally, I decided that having my revenge on that guy just wasn’t worth my time and effort, so I abandoned my plan. For some weird reason, that person stopped bothering me every day ever since and I could tolerate his occasional harassment until I transferred to another school a year later. Over 10 years have passed since that day but I still remember it vividly as if it happened yesterday. The day I almost became a criminal because of some douchebag who picked on me in elementary school.
Bullying and cyberbullying were a nightmare for me when I was a kid.
Besides the harassment and punches took, I even got shot with a fake but still dangerous gun which caused me almost to lose sight of an eye.
Today I want to make something to prevent cyberbullying.
If you want to take actions with me, please join the challenge I put on and start to share. Thank you in advance
Prevention starts with awareness. That's our first solution, to make more people aware and wear the shoes.
Check the challenge at --> http://growthband.com/stopcbreddit
Not going to lie, I am a grown ass man who is being targeted by teen individuals who suffer from extreme victim blaming and these aren't your regular types these are the "out-for-your-blood-without rhyme-or-reason types". The Full Metal Jacket.
You see they have a problem with my appearance (which in my mind is fine) but in their warped minds OFFENDS THEM GREATLY and my ability to rise above it, Such a problem that they have tried blame ME by saying I JUDGED THEM first when I don't even know their names or what to judge them for exactly and still don't after 4-5 long years of intermittent harassment (aside from their strange behaviour which seems to be brewing into one sided escalating violence I want no part of)
Now in their strange warped minds they think that I am straight up "out to get them" which in reality is quite the very opposite, I'm soon planning on moving away (possibly on some level in spite of these odd folk, partially to get some life perspective as was the original intent)
Tried to play the psychological reasoning card of rationality on them in a restaurant tonight, one got very emotional and used curry chips as a projectile and threatened physical violence on me (Apparently that's some kind of mirror universe threat to them, so now I basically have to watch where I walk from here on in) The bystanders were more deadpan than helpful but I felt more at ease about that strangely as we laughed it off...but still.
Naturally I was a little spooked like this and became a little broken during a report with the cops (we all have our limits this was my 8th time reporting these whackjobs after all)
Bullies follow two axioms:
1) Hurt them before they hurt you.
2) Answer any threat, real or imagined, with twice as much force.
Axiom one is a sad story. Often bullies know a life of intimidation and fear at home. They manifest their feelings born from power politics at play in their home on the schoolyard(or with adults, the workplace). It's not an excuse for bad behavior, the reason doesn't matter when someone has their thumb in your eye. Anything can be seen as a threat. ANYTHING. A new backpack, a nice lunch, social skills, intelligence or whatever it is they feel that they're lacking in their life. Bullies project their insecurities on others. That's why they're lashing out at you.
Consider a criminal organization that asks a business for protection money. If the owner stands up to them it's clear he will face repercussions that will escalate until he's either broke or submissive. That is axiom number 2 in action. On the school yard it may be like this: A bully pushes a smaller kid, the kid fights back and loses. He's then beaten further while he's incapacitated and sent to emergency with life threatening injuries.
My advice is to keep yourself safe. Once you recognize bullying behavior make efforts to track it, report it and distance yourself from it. I've had to quit jobs and hide in my friends basement to protect myself. Financial distress and missing out on things is worth it if you've become a victim. My finances bounced back and missing parties kept me from being beaten within an inch of my life. Beware of escalation, they don't know when to stop.
Some bullies are opportunists and will respond if you establish boundaries. Not all of them will, typically not the leaders. It can be difficult to assess but I encourage you to rely on intuition. If someone makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up or if being in their presence makes you nauseated, trust those feelings.
Act quickly. Don't take the time to put them in a specific category. If they're dangerous that's all you need to know. Get away! Alert your support network and keep records of your encounters with them. The school, the police and even the courts will thank you for that if it escalates to that point.
Bullies are immune to reason. Don't waste your time. You'll probably be told that you are their problem.
Keep your distance and find support where you can. Don't let them get to you. Your safety is more important than being right.
I hope someone can help as I have had an epic realization that brought me to tears earlier. I have been through a stressful situation for a few years, but i am now in a place/flat/new city where alot of my known insecurities, worries and issues are either resolved or slowly getting under control which I am very happy about, and I have a few solid friends who know me well and I love, a good family I can talk to about more casual subjects and the best partner a person could ever wish for, whom I love and I feel so lucky to have every day as she has helped me so much and continues to do so.
Having had space to relax and reflect recently, I have realized I have a deep insecurity relating to bullying I suffered as a child of the age of 5-8. I was diagnosed with juvenile arthritis which stopped me doing anything physical at all at school. My school friends/kids in my class did not understand, either from my parents telling them, my teacher announcing it in P.E (where I was left to sit on the side and watch every lesson except swimming) and they eventually started abusing me, insulting me and attacking me. I had a couple of friends outside of school, but this period of my life is very repressed.. my mum only told me I would come home in tears every other day for 3 years, and my dad has said nothing on the subject that I can remember, but I have not brought it up for years.
The physical issue i had was not massive compared to some, but the kids would kick my ankle/tendon when I would walk past/sneak a game of football in when teacher wasn't spying, tell me I was weak/rubbish at sports/crippled etc in various child like ways, and I can never seem to remember or process this part of my life.
I feel i developed an extroverted personality to laugh at my shortcomings as a coping mechanism, and I perceive everyone I meet as a friend to avoid any judgement/negative feelings etc, which has left me in some vulnerable situations with people who took advantage of my kind nature, and feeling like I had hundreds of friends to speak to as much as I could, which exhausted me at the best of times and created a lot of internal conflict, anxiety and depression at times.
I have researched some local therapists, and I will speak to some soon to find someone who can help, but can anyone shed some light on childhood bullying effecting you as an adult, as every time I loose a sense of comfort and loose faith in myself I become overwhelmed and either panic inside and blame/think about the most recent thing that upset me to focus on that as a scapegoat, or i race around exhausting myself with mundane tasks like cleaning, stressing, or indeed anything except relaxing or thinking. It also has a huge impact on my relationships and my sleep.
My partner has had stress/pressure/hard times as well and I would do anything for her, but sometimes I did at my own expense which did not help either of us at all. She has never pushed me to do anything and always wanted me to relax, be calm and sleep properly, but because I am so new to this side of myself, I thought I was speaking honestly about how I felt, but I think at times I wasn't aware of how insecure I feel in regards to judgement, abandonment and being ridiculed or misunderstood and rejected. I can be very erratic and hold on to positive feelings with irrational excitement and negative ones with deep depression and sadness, but I am aware of this balance and im slowly getting used to calming myself whatever is going on.
Thank you for reading! I am very new to this school of thought. I have overcome a lot of hurdles but I had no idea how deeply buried this was inside of me, and a lot of my previous behaviours and thoughts have made sense after I read more into the issue.
Hi everyone. Im doing a research project on effects of bullying. I need 10 participants who are university students to do a short interview with. I will ask 10 questions over voice chat and it will take around 5 minutes. You dont have to give me any of your personal information. If anyone is willing to do it, please send me a message.
I'm a senior in highschool, meaning I'm graduating in just a few weeks, but given the fact that I'm a pretty thin person with quite a few health problems not to mention a disinterest which keeps me from being inactive, P.E has always been a place of bullying for me. I am constantly harassed and bothered about the tiniest things. And while I'm personally rather used to it, I notice it happening to many, many other people in the class. I dislike seeing this happen, especially when it comes to things like baseball when a single person is put on the spot leaving them to be openly mocked by everyone in the class. However, my teacher does absolutely nothing to stop this besides acknowledging it, which only makes it worse. The group of boys behind this will even occasionally harass our teacher not to mention make several racially charged comments as well as sexist comments towards the few female students in the class. I understand that this is just how life is sometimes, but I have genuinely tried everything because I despise bullying so much. I have spoken to our teacher about both doing something to make the students stop and even asking him to stick to units where people can be around those that they trust and don't mind the company of and, at the very least, sticking to units where people aren't put on the spot. This has proved useless though, so I took things a step further and notified both our school counselors and administration. It provides absolutely no results. Even though the students are spoken with, it doesn't help at all. I've even attempted to tell them to stop on my own, which led to me being harassed even more. I'd like to avoid threatening them with any sort of violence because not only am I a major pacifist and advocate of nonviolence, but there are also about four more of them than there are of me. I am not sure what to do. I'm sure I can hold out and bare through three more weeks in the class, but I don't want to. And I don't like the idea of knowing this will continue when I'm gone given that many of these students are underclassmen.
I'm a reasonably adjusted 53 y.o. husband and father plus a well respected physician.
When I was in middle school, I was tormented by one particular kid non-stop. Not a day went by when he didn't have some choice words for me (I assume because I was smarter).
Either way, I took years of his abuse until the 8th grade trip. They had a pool there. I was on a swim team and a very strong swimmer. One day in the pool on the trip I saw to my amazement that my bully couldn't swim. And he was in the deep end. Clinging to the wall.
I swam over and taunted him from the middle of the pool treading water. He grew angrier and angrier and eventually decided to lunge at me. That's when I pounced, holding his head under water. The years of torturing and bullying coming out of me. I was a far superior swimmer, there was nothing he could do. Kids started screaming. The class teacher chaperone on the trip saw it and jumped in, clothes and all, trying to get me off of him. I gave the teacher a tug as if to say "I can take both of you if you want, you never stopped him from bullying me..." but I let go.
I'll never forget the teacher's look horror at me. Or my bully coughing up water for 3 minutes. Or the sound of the sirens of paramedics coming thinking they had to revive him.
when we all leave school so the school cannot suspend me
My daughter has been having A LOT of trouble with a few girls in her class. She is 11 years old, in 5th grade. She has called me crying, come home crying, and there has just been so many incidences. I've called the school and talked to the principal more times than I can count, I've talked to the girls parents, we've tried counseling, and she still cannot cope with the bullying. Yesterday i got a call from the school nurse, my daughter said she wanted to kill herself. And today she refused to go to school.
How can I help her get through this? How can I help her learn some coping mechanisms and help her learn how to work through her feelings? I am at a loss, i just dont know what to do at this point.
I have to go back to work but i will check back after work. Thanks
Edited for spelling and also clarification on "coping". I am not using that term in a malicious manner. My wish for her is that she can learn how to let the small things roll off her back and live her life happily. It breaks my heart to see my daughter miserable, I've been there, I had many days where my mom had to physically drag me out of the car to go to school because it was so bad. My daughter is extremely sensitive, and I know that sometimes when people are joking with her she takes it way too seriously and it bothers her for days. This also makes the harder stuff almost unbearable for her. In her mind, its the end of the world. In her mind, Disagreements with friends mean they hate her and never want to talk to her again. I am not minimizing what she goes through because I know there are a few girls who really give her a hard time and its constant torment. When i say "coping" its her being able to discern between the two, and learning how to work through the hard feelings when she has a tiff with her best friend or argues with her sister. I hope i cleared that up a little.
As a victim, I felt stockholm syndrome when the bully who punched me in the spine and insulted my mom and hit me constantly said to me that my skin is so smooth while touching my cheek. And I am thinking that I might also felt it whem bully said to "Thats good kurka00 good boy" while patting on my head. And there was this instance that the bully said to me that he is really sorry for all the things he did and will never do it again and be good friend with me. I felt really touched and started to hope I might be able to esvape from bullying. But bully bullied me still after
I always wondered what it was like to be in a popular girl’s shoes. What would it be like to “rule the school” with beauty, charm, and academic intelligence? I guess you can say that this is an unrealistic image. I also always wonder what it’s like to be famous and beautiful. Almost like a Perfect 10. It’s almost impossible to be that perfect, right? Well, that was the case for me. Daydreaming and I guess you can say visualizing that desire. TV, media, advertisements, and teen fashion magazines (you name it) create this façade of fame and popularity. I was lured in just from all of that.
But in reality, I was just an ordinary Korean American girl that never really had a sincere support of friends growing up. Even to this day as a woman, I lost girlfriends because their insecurities and their role as the mean girl overruled the friendship. Bullying, harassment, racism, and discrimination occurred all from kindergarten to even sadly, art school. Yes, art school. You would assume that there wouldn’t be any of that because it’s an art school. Unfortunately, it’s everywhere including professional working environments. I experienced that as well. It’s not just in school grounds.
I guess the reason why I am writing and venting this all out is because of 13 Reasons Why. Cliché… I know. I binge-watched the entire Season 2 and literally finished an hour and half ago. This really reopen a very heavy part of me where I was feeling so much empathy of almost every character particularly Hannah’s story. Tear by tear was dropping down my cheek. I couldn’t stop these feelings and the pain again. I kept having these random flashbacks of not just one advisor in college not supporting my case. All I saw were constant eyes rolling with impatience and not having any empathy at all of how hysterical and traumatized I was. It hurt all over. It hurt really fucking badly, almost to the point where it was stabbing me internally. That’s when I started to cut my wrist a couple of times back at my apartment and it was pretty deep. I failed that semester and I felt the world was against me… all of the professors, classmates, and the advisors at my school. The online bullying on Facebook in the comment section and being left out in classes were a majority of the reasons why. I felt like a failure and I did contemplate on suicide. Thank God I didn’t go through with it. Something in me said not to go there and not to give up on my dreams as a fashion designer. I couldn’t give it all up. I just couldn’t.
My intuition was telling me that I could possibly start all over again and persevere, which I did. I still am on that path and trying to persevere. But I still feel somewhere with the Universe that there is injustice. Sometimes I wonder why, me? These girls and that gay guy never thought of their actions. Not one bit. The advisors and professors supported them all and enabled the behaviors. They got away with the crime. There has also been some success in their careers. This is me as a flawed human talking and venting. These emotions and the pain of feeling those times are still in there somewhere. You may forgive, but you can never forget. Somehow, I’m allowed to feel the injustice and verbalize that thought into writing. My voice was invisible to the university. A few years later, they have brought it out to light about bullying because of these intense competitions and projects. But my own voice and story was never significant to their anti-bullying subjects, right? I was never significant to them because I assume that I didn’t grow up in a wealthy, prestigious family just like the 80-90% of the students that went to this dream school of mine. Sometimes I look back and tell myself, I should have been much more assertive and stronger. I should have stood up to all of them. I was too nice and quiet.
Regarding other past situations, I grew up in a very small suburban town, where there were not many people of color at all including the Asian community. I was one of the very few Asians and the only Korean from Kindergarten to 7th Grade. There was so much hatred over my appearance and especially with my ethnicity. Almost everyday on that bus, I was bullied because of that. As much as I tried to fit in, as I got older, these “friends” would come and go. Some of them were too embarrassed to be seen around with me because of their “reputation.” Most of the high school girls that I grew up with were mean girls including the boys. Prom was the climax of it all from being humiliated and bullied for my ethnicity at a comedy club in NYC by a mean girl and some mean boys. There is so much to be said about my past experiences as the victim. There is also a lot for me to say as what it was like to be a bully for a short amount of time. It felt miserable.
Deep down inside, I hated the peer pressure around me. I hated being convinced that my “reputation” would be easily ruined if I hung out with that particular girl or dated that boy. It’s easy and contradicting for me to say here that I’m not perfect. I’m not a saint either. I’m only human who makes mistakes as well and eventually learns from them just like everyone else in this world. I wish I could sincerely apologize to some of the girls and boys that I hurt. I was a new girl being stupid of trying to fit in because I was new and I just wanted to feel accepted. I wanted to make some sincere friends because I barely had any in my old town. I wanted to know what it felt like. But looking back, the girls that I thought were my “friends” were mean girls. I eventually realized that this wasn’t who I am. So I stopped following their bullying tactics and decided to just be me. When I was asked out a few times by that boy, I wanted to know what that was like too. It felt special, yet the other girls didn’t think so. They labeled him as a “player,” but he just wanted to seek a relationship with a pretty girl that he genuinely liked. Eventually, rumors and bullying started circling around and transpiring again. I realized from reflecting back, everything that I wanted and imagined at that time was irrelevant to the real world. There aren’t high school cliques or jocks and cheerleaders that are always going to be after you. There is so much more out there. There is so much more to life. I started opening up to that idea when I entered high school. I couldn’t wait to get out of there and move to NYC for fashion. I kept visualizing that almost everyday and by looking at art school catalogs. I guess I have to say that part of that dream did come into fruition.
Well, that being said, I felt like I was in Hannah’s shoes. I also felt what it was like to be in a mean girl’s shoes. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m even writing this at 5:00 AM. To be honest, I’m just pouring it all out. I just needed to after reflecting back tonight. Although, somewhere deep inside of me, it still hurts even though I have let a lot go. I despise the fact that people would tell me “I’m too sensitive.” I recently learned that many people these days don’t want to take responsibility for their own actions. Many don’t want to feel the guilt and be at fault for what they did to the other person. They just ignorantly brush it off so they don’t have to apologize or just simply admit that he or she has hurt you. It almost feels like some form of manipulation or even gaslighting. Today, as a woman, I still experience mean girls around me from time to time, which becomes losses of friendships. Maybe it’s also a blessing in disguise because they were never sincere from the very beginning. There were ulterior motives.
Even from a few past relationships, the boyfriends were bullies who made up lies and rumors to their friends, who also went to our high school. This also includes in my past working environments. Sometimes it hurts and saddens me. Other times, I try to let it all go and move on from the pain and betrayals. This is life, isn’t it? Or would it get any better if there was much more kindness, love, and understanding?
Edit: I guess the reason why I posted this is because my advice to anyone out there is don’t be like these people. And don’t do what I did either. Try to be kind, compassionate, understanding, and sensitive to those who are being bullied and harassed. Try to set an example out there. This world is cruel, selfish, and vicious already, but live your life to the fullest. Don’t let anyone bring you down. Fulfill your dreams. Manifest them. Don’t ever give up just because that person or others told you to. Remember, you have the power. Thanks for letting me share my story. I hope it doesn’t offend anyone on here.
It is as the title goes. I was bullied. My father was bullied. When I talk to my father about bullying, father just says 'its natural thing. Even animals have hirarchy. Just forget about it and think on the bright side. We can do nothing about it.' Im deeply frustrated hearing this. Shit god damn I feel like I should just'move on' from the memories of my bullying which keeps me from being true myself. I think im going to be someone like my father. The one who submits to hirarchy system of goddamn shit. Appeasing to the strong, kick down the weak. Shit I know that children are really likely to walk the same path as their parents. When I was bullied at elementary and middle schools, I was noticed by my father of bullying. I talked to my father crying about it. He listened. That was all he did. Shitstory. I think my father is the one who 'grew up' after the incidents of bullying. Kiss up kick down. That is what he learened I think. Smart way of life isnt it? I am afraid that I might be turning to think that equality is bullshit and hirarchy is real. That every human being has their class. I am scared that I might 'grow up' like my father. He talks about 'getting over it wisely' when I talk about bullying. "I trust that you will get over it wisely like I did." All he did was just trying to forget about the bullying,while not able to do it.
I wish I could do it all over again. To everyone -- the whole class
He's actually smaller and weaker than me but he doesn't think so cause he's a marcissistic fuck. We used to be friends amd he randomly decided he's gonna be a dick.
How do i stop being a fucking pussy and stop worrying about consenquinces and beat him up. Also, should i punch him or just throw him to the ground or what?
"Your honour, we have video footage of this man mugging me."
"...Excuse me? you have evidence he did it! I have two orbital fractures and had to have a rhinoplasty to be able to smell again."
"You carried $40 in your wallet, he stole it from you, it's YOUR fault. You should have not carried that much with you."
~ ~ ~
"911 what is your emergency?"
"Yes, there is a maniac inside my house. He smashed open the windows, stole my Switch and my PS4, and is now stealing my TV and turning the sink on."
"Just ignore him and he'll go away."
"Just ignore him and he'll go away."
"He is literally *inside my house pilfering my belongings and vandalising the place!"
"He's just looking for a reaction."
"OH MY GOD HE IS INSIDE MY ROOM NOW!"
"Just continue to ignore him and he will get bored then leave."
BAM BAM BAM
~ ~ ~
"Oh thank goodness you are here police, this person attacked me and I stabbed him in resp-WHY ARE YOU CUFFING ME?!"
"You're under arrest for murder."
"Why am I being taken in and punished for committing murder?! IT WAS SELF DEFENCE!"
"Too bad, we have a 'zero tolerance' policy. You have the right to remain silent."
~ ~ ~
"Hello, I would like to file a Sexual Harassment complaint."
"So, what's the nature of this complaint?"
"My coworker has been copping a feel on my chest-"
"We'll look into it."
"-But I have video footage that he walked over and felt me up."
"We'll look into it."
Brings in the coworker
"Hello coworker, did you feel up your female coworker?"
"Case closed - there was no sexual harassment."
~ ~ ~
"Hello, law enforcement? I would like to file a harassment complaint. See, there is a person who is sending me death threats all the time."
"Oh they're just words. They can't hurt you."
"Yes, but they are routinely threatening me."
"...and despite that I have blocked their number and shredded all the letters, they keep sending them. Clearly it is not stopping. They won't stop sending me threats and won't quit stalking me. I need to file a restraining order."
"Just ignore them. They're looking for a reaction. Don't be a crybully."
"You're just going to the police to try and get someone you don't like in trouble. Handle it yourself and ignore them."
"Sir, I have ignored them but they won't stop. They need to be told by the LAW that they need to stop this behaviour."
"So? I have a lot of shit to do handling actual crimes going on - just because someone's saying mean things to you doesn't mean we should get involved."
~ ~ ~
"Hot off the presses! Read all about it! Serial assaulter resumes attacking people after a two day jail sentence, sentenced to two more days in jail!"
~ ~ ~
"It's that Mullin person again."
"Ugh, the person with the creep routinely sacking their house? Tell them to just IGNORE the creep and they will eventually get bored."
"They're here with two black eyes and missing four teeth saying they finally told them off and the creep attacked."
"Tell Mullin to just keep ignoring him and to STOP BOTHERING US!"
~ ~ ~
If this isn't okay for you, why do we treat our kids like this?
No one is going to read this but I thought it might help to get it all off my chest.
In primary school things were mostly smooth sailing till I fell out with this girl in year 3 (let's call her Memory) because she arbitrarily decided she didnt like me and she started some drama about me. Long story short, I lost all my friends and became very unpopular. I was quite outgoing back then, but my Aspie tendencies were probably noticed by the other kids so they thought I was annoying and weird.
Eventually my parents moved me to another school. Since then I got into a few rocky friendships, most of which ended in fallouts. I was always kind of the black sheep. My outgoing personality faded over time and I became more socially awkward and sarcastic.
Things were fine though, until I started at my secondary school. Let's call it Fuckademy. When I came into Fuckademy I had three close friends who immediately ditched me for other people, I'm talking as early as intake day. One was a girl called Geyser (not her actual name) who decided she had a bone to pick with me.
I figured making new friends would be easy, but Geyser went out of her way to sabotage my efforts to make friends by spreading lies about me, telling girls to avoid me etc. She also appointed her much older sister and her friends to torment and harrass me. I remember them yelling threats and obscenities at me, thinking that I was the one tormenting Geyser, and not the other way around, while Geyser would watch with amusement. I tried reporting Geyser to my form tutor. But she fake cried and denied everything. Form tutor was useless and said both of us were at fault, made me apologize for upsetting her. She continued bullying me for a while and eventually stopped of her own accord. Guess she grew out of it.
Memory from year 3 also went to Fuckademy and apparently had held her arbitrary grudge against me from all those years ago. She and the other girls from my old primary school hated me and started loads of drama with me, and so did plenty of other girls who I didn't even know. I have no idea why all these people wanted to make my life difficult when I never did anything to them. I think I was just unlucky.
So, within the first few weeks I had lost my fickle friends and my reputation was fucked. I didn't know anyone's names but they all knew mine. "Oh, you're that girl who did X in primary school" people would say. I'd deny it of course, because it wasn't true. But people wanted to believe the rumours because everyone else at Fuckademy hated me because I was shy and friendless and awkward. I was an easy target.
My awkward mannerisms became the butt of many jokes. The way I walked, talked, looked, the things I said and did, everything about me was hilarious because it was all wrong, I was all wrong. I was ugly, creepy, autistic, disgusting. So many people, complete strangers ridiculed me for my huge nose, my "horse face", my ugly teeth etc. It took me a while to get accustomed to this. For my first year I sort of wandered in a sad daze, feeling a bit lost. A lot of students said I was depressed or suicidal (I wasn't). Others thought I was some sort of possessed serial killer in the making (also not true). I couldn't really report people because there were just so many, and I didn't know their names.
Then at an assembly the teachers started preaching to us about kindness and asked me for an example of someone not being kind. My dumbass said "I think it's really mean when people kill bugs and earthworms and stuff for fun just because they're tiny and defenceless". (This was something people used to do in front of me a lot because I had voiced my opinions about it before) and the teacher just kind of laughed awkwardly and moved on. Sounds like no big deal, but ever since I made that comment years ago everyone at Fuckademy referred to me as "that girl that dun like earthworms innit". As I got older even the younger kids joined in, everywhere I went people chanted "SAVE THE EARTHWORMS!" like a song and asked me to join the Earthworm Club. It took over my whole identity and I became known as a weird, depressed hippie that cares about bugs.
Then this guy called Jason started noticing me. He was two years older than me, and I guess my piss-poor social status peaked his interest. He and his friends did some practical research, I guess, trying out different bullying tactics looking for the best reaction. For a while he and his friends would just do the typical stuff: catcall, say gross sexual stuff, throw their litter at me, follow me around, call me every name in the book. But then, maybe by accident, Jason and I both discovered that I wasn't ok with people touching me anymore.
At first he just kinda pushed and tripped me, he probably thought I was wincing away because I was in pain. But really I just hated having this weirdo in my personal bubble. I don't know when or how my issues with personal space started, but he caught on pretty quickly and it became yet another way to torment me. He and his friends would get in my space a lot and touch me. I would push them away and start running. They'd run after me and they were faster. I would hide in classrooms under desks. They were too dumb to find me so they'd wait outside.
They didn't touch me inappropriately or anything, just kind of grabbed my arms or my waist or touched my hair. It made me feel physically ill. Plenty of people did this and breaktimes became the most stressful time of day for me. There was nowhere to hide, really. You weren't allowed indoors and you weren't allowed to run. I actually got in trouble for running away from bullies a few times. The teachers found the whole thing vexing, and seemed to think the bullying was somehow my fault. They'd catch me running and send me to the heads of year. The heads of year would sigh and say "just avoid them, stop going near them" and "if you'd told us sooner we would have sorted it out". Then they'd promise to deal with the bullying.
Spoiler alert, they didn't deal with the bullying. If anything, reporting people made them worse because they'd get pissed off and start threatening me. People would follow me and block my path: "Where do you think you're going, you fucking spastic? You grassing me up again? I don't even care, the teachers say you're just oversensitive anyway". They were probably lying, but it did seem like the teachers weren't doing anything. For years my parents complained to the school about the bullying, and requested that I be allowed indoors to avoid them. But the staff wouldn't do anything to help me, except for accussing me of having depression and anxiety, and trying to set me up with a therapist. They seemed to think I was some sort of special needs case and many teachers lectured me in this really slow, condescending tone of voice. I wasn't mentally ill, I just loathed being at Fuckademy, especially when even my teachers were unsympathic. There were a few good eggs, but most just complained about my "lack of enthusiasm". They hated me because I was always sighing and crying in class, and would lecture me about "positive attitude" and "you could at least try smiling instead of antagonising me like this". It pissed me off because I tried so hard with my schoolwork and was a well behaved, polite student and yet even the teachers seemed to think I was wired up wrong.
As I got more and more anxious and unstable, people noticed how jittery I was and started screaming at me to make me jump. I'm a little noise sensitive, I've discovered. Also once I was off sick from school for about a week and when I came back some kids I didn't even know were like "oh my god, literally we all thought you'd killed youself, everyone said so." and acted genuinely disappointed to see me alive. Many bullies and ex-friends encouraged me to commit suicide and said the world would be better off if I did. It hurt to hear, but I'm glad to say I never considered it.
People would pick on me a lot in class, there were loads of nasty girls in my year who'd gang up on me and say horrible things in earshot of the teachers, who ignored it. The teachers would only get involved if I broke down crying and/or shouted at them to piss off because that disrupted the class. I'd get sent out and the bullies would twist the story to get me into trouble. The teachers wouldn't really listen to my side of the story because I would just break down and sob incoherently and try to put words together. They'd lose patience after a few seconds of this and just kind of drift back into the classroom, leaving me to cry outside. God this sounds so pathetic hahahaah
Off topic: There was also this one guy who was especially odd. He kept talking about how his dick was massive and gross stuff like that. He touched me and got in my way a lot, and I'm honestly terrified of him. I'd frequently run from him in blind panic and he'd chase after me while everyone just kind of watched waiting for him to get to me. He was slow though. Once he cornered me and lunged at me: tried to grab my arm or something. I was so scared I spazzed out and kicked him in the stomach. He said if I ever did it again then he'd break my legs off. Obviously he's just trying to salvage his ego, but that's still fucking weird. He lives near me. Sometimes I see him when I'm in the car and he makes intense eye contact. There were a lot of people like that.
Yeah so I kind of turned into a crying mess and started crying on Sunday nights and when I got home from a particularly bad day. I did try to make friends with some girls but they were really vile. Only reason I bothered was so that people might stop ridiculing me for having no friends. I don't want to go into too much detail but suffice to say these friends were the fucking worst. They bullied and put me down constantly, one of them said I should do the world a favour and kill myself, and she kept stealing my lunch and throwing it in the bin. She called me a bipolar bitch and everyone in that group eventually admitted that they couldn't fucking stand me and just kind of gave me the middle finger.
I didn't miss their friendship. Most of the time they wouldn't let me hang out with them. We used to walk home together because I didn't know my way back to my village on my own, and one of the girls lived nearby. I had to stop walking home with them because they would walk until we were in the middle of nowhere, then Ellie would call her dad and ask her to come collect us. They'd all hop in Ellie's car and leave me stranded on the roadside to find my way home alone. They also stood me up constantly as a "prank", humiliated me countless times and just made me feel like shit. I wish I'd stood up for myself.
That's pretty much all the most important stuff. Things got worse and worse and eventually in year 10 I moved to a new school. I didn't tell anyone I was moving, I didn't want to give them the satisfaction. I've been here for about a month and a lot of people have pointed out that I'm weird and "posh" and socially awkward. But for once I'm not being pushed over by older boys, the student body doesn't hate me and for the first time in years I actually have friends that don't make me want to put forks in my eyes. School is almost nice now :)