Hey all, one of the things I've tried to focus on as a mod here has been building the community interaction past just cancer updates and focusing on a little bit more on the fact that we are people as well, not just cancer patients. I'm thinking posts like this where we can suggest music/movies/tv to each other could be really helpful for people. Let me know what you think or if you have suggestions for future threads! Please mark any movies that have to do with cancer/cancer related deaths, thank you!
Today was the day I found out I am going to die of cancer. I knew I had the disease before, I also knew it had spread from my oesophagus to my lung and I was aware that I was in a sticky situation in the first place but I'd been holding out hope that they'd find a surgeon willing to do the operation I need to survive.
All my referrals are done. No one will do it. I have cancer that surgery can't cure.
It could be 6 months, it could be 5 years. However long it is, I'm going to die.
I've subbed and added this place to my favourites, if anyone wants to chat then I'll be all ears.
My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in January, and passed away two months ago on June 14th. Everything is terrible and shitty, which I obviously expected, but I still have to deal with real life. One thing I'm having trouble with is how to deal with my friends. I'm incredibly private, and kept my dad's diagnosis quiet from my 3 friends nearly until the end. I told J about the diagnosis a few days before my dad passed to get him off my back, bc he kept asking me to hang out with him when I was busy with my dad/clearly not up for it. I told B a month after he passed, and I haven't told M anything yet.
I didn't know how to tell them, I don't know how to tell M two months after the fact. I honestly don't know how to talk to them. I don't know how to see them and hang out with them when I feel like I'm so screwed up right now I can't be around people. I don't want to be around people. J and B and I have a group text and they've been chatting, trying to keep me included and such, but I just can't send a text back. How is it so hard for me to send a text?? I'm also angry at them, which I know is irrational. I'm angry at them for acting so nonchalant, I'm angry they're sending videos and memes like everything is normal because nothing is normal for me. They want to get together and drink and laugh and talk about what jobs they're applying for and their friends and other bullshit I don't care about right now. I'm angry they're going on with their lives like nothing happened because it didn't for them. It happened to me and I'm not the same and I'm not normal and I don't want to see them or make jokes or talk about our future or talk about my dad. It's too difficult to be around them right now, and I'm sure it's hurting our relationships. I've just gone radio silent for a coup,e weeks because I don't have the brain power to even muster up a text message right now. I don't know what to do. I feel bad for treating them bad, but I don't know how I can do anything else.
I'm 22 and they're 22/23 for reference. We've all just graduated college and they're hopeful and excited and I'm angry and depressed and I don't know how to interact with them anymore. I just feel like I'm stuck, frozen, and I can't move or reach out or talk or do anything. If you have any advice for me or experience with your parent dying while you're young, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for reading.
Hey guys. My story is similar to so so many that I see here. Short version is: Dad has had symptoms since December, but it took them until June to give him a diagnosis: Stage 3 pancreatic cancer.
He has had two chemo treatments so far. They've had to postpone two infusions because his platelets and white blood cells were down. His pre-treatment blood work showed his C 19-9 tumor marker at 24. Now, after one month of chemo, the tumor marker has nearly doubled at 47.9.
I'm no physician, but I am assuming this means the tumor is growing rather rapidly. Out of curiosity, have any of you experienced this level of increase while undergoing chemo? I didn't expect chemo to be a miracle (Dad and I both know where this is heading). However, I expected the levels to either stay somewhat consistent or temporarily shrink during treatment.
I (f, 48) was diagnosed with stage 4 de novo breast cancer in February. I've been on chemo until last week when I finished (yay), and I've just started on tamoxifen. My daughter (26) lives 90 mins drive from me. I drove to see her to break the news to her. I feel sad since then she hasn't been to visit once. She has a car, and disposable income, and she doesnt work weekends. I have a guest room all ready for her.
I feel envious when I read posts from people whose parents have cancer, and they've quit jobs or school to move back to be close to them.
I have felt very alone throughout chemo. Im divorced, and I only moved here a few months before diagnosis so I hadn't yet made friends, and I haven't been able to get work because of being sick. I have had no one to help: no helpful casseroles, no one to run a vacuum around the place. I focus on the positives, and seeing a therapist helped a lot. But I have felt very alone and unsupported.
I drove down to visit my daughter three times this year, but driving the distance was hard with the nausea and aches and pains from my medications, and with no income I feel apprehensive about the gas costs for the trip. I couldn't afford to get a motel/hotel overnight so I had to drive there and back in one day, which wasn't ideal.
I wish so much my daughter would have come up to visit me. No, I wish she'd wanted to visit me. Until now I thought we had a normal, close, loving, functional relationship. We text every couple of days, about shit on reddit, or what's in the news, or something cool she saw in a store. Now I feel I have to reevaluate everything. She's just starting her adult life, so it's normal her focus is on her boyfriend and her career. But when I read posts from other redditors I feel sad we don't have the closeness I thought we did. I'm not sure how I could have been a better mom to have made my daughter want to see me, and I dont feel like I have the physical or emotional energy right now to address this with her.
Thank you for reading.
So one of my Aunts is currently going through radiation for uterine/endometrial cancer. It is external at this point but eventually has to do internal. Her daughter is a general doctor so luckily she has someone she can ask questions a lot and also has a very good doctor taking care of her.. But she is still sick all the time. I know a lot of this is probably unavoidable, but I am wondering if any oe you who have this type of cancer or maybe even other types of cancer where you had radiation, have some suggestions for dealing with diarrhea and nausea. She has changed up her diet a lot as suggested by doctor but still does not help her!!!
My husband has a chronic type of cancer called chronic myeloid leukemia where he takes a chemo pill daily and it also makes him have problems right after he takes the pill for a few hours.. I bought probiotics because I read it can help good gut cells since chemo and radiation can kill them. He never took his because he is not big on pills other thsn the one that save his life. What do you guys think of probiotics? Any experience?
I am always trying to think of ways to help out those of us with cancer. I know there are a lot of issues i am not aware of with many of the diagnoses out there.
I’ve had (now have again) pancreatic Neuroendocrine Carcinoma , partial pancreatectomy, liver transplant, spinal surgery for a tumor on my spine causing nerve damage in my legs. Now tumors on both hips and in two lymph nodes and a spot in my lower back.
I made an app last week to help me, Left Side Right. It Keeps track of injection locations. It’s useful to me. And maybe 3 other people. But it’s professional and fun and well put together and helpful and i enjoyed making it no matter what.
If you have an idea for an app that you think could help you or a group of us in any way, please message me. I’m not doing it for the money. I am interested in hearing your project ideas and would love to help make it for you if i can. Some links below to see examples of how i might help.
Thanks, mark Andrews
I've read up on it quite a bit but I'm just looking for some first hand accounts I guess, to see what I may be in for. Any advice, experiences, anything?
I just want to reach out to anyone experiencing anything cancer-related. My life will always be marred by cancer because I lost the love of my life this January to colon cancer. I’m dealing with the grief every day! I have felt reclusive and unable to talk about emotional things including cancer, but have recently felt like it might help if I could be an ear to any of you or any kind of support. Just someone to know! My fiancé and I met on Reddit while he lived in Portland, Oregon and I was finishing college in Georgia. After dating long distance for a few months, and taking some of the most memorable and fun trips of my life, I graduated and moved to Portland to be with him. I don’t regret anything! I took care of him and he took care of me for three years until January 2nd, 2018. I am still shocked at this loss! He was my world! I think about him every day and struggle with the fact that everyone else has moved on! Anyway, this isn’t about me, I just wanted to offer some background information.
I would love to be your friend. Let me know if you want to talk. Whoever you are! Cancer is indescribable and I still can’t wrap my mind around it. NO ONE DESERVES TO GO THROUGH THIS. If I could just offer some temporary relief to you in as little as a conversation, I would be honored.
In April I was taken into hospital for emergency surgery to remove a 15 cm from my right ovary. It turned out that the cyst contained cancer cells and the hospital told me that I had to have my ovaries removed to prevent the cancer coming back. Since a womb is useless without ovaries I opted to have that removed, along with my omentum ( a membrane that connecting the stomach with other abdominal organs) and peritoneal biopsies. Everything that was removed was tested after my hysterectomy and no cancer was found so I'm classed as cured.
As soon as I was told that no cancer was found I immediately regretted the decision to have a hysterectomy as I felt I didn't need. I wish I'd asked for a round of preventative chemo and kept my organs because I'm now 32 and going through menopause. I also have an inverted cross scar across my lower abdomen and a swollen stomach. I've struggled with body issue image since my late teens when I became obese and have worked hard to maintain a UK size 12. Now I feel like I've lost my body and that I am ruined. I'm lucky that I never wanted children as I can't imagine having to cope with that loss.
How do I get over having a hysterectomy and the impact it has had on my body? And how do I come to terms with the fact that I had cancer?!
I'm a young male (15). And i've discoverd a small lump under my right nipple. It hurts when i press it. Its also a bit blue on top. I've been reading up on male brest cancer and the chances are very low so i might just be paranoid. When i first saw it i thought i also had it under my other nipple. Can someone Day if it is and what i should do. Thanks in advance
I wrote my first post on this sub about a month ago about my mom just getting diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer after a 20 year remission from stage I. However, I am still pretty much a lurker majority of the time. I look at this sub every day, and I would like to be more active.
I just want to say thank you, to all of you who are part of this sub. Thank you so much for contributing to this community, jesus for CREATING this community. I don't mean to just be a lurker and read everyone's posts but I am so blown away most of the time to even find words to say about how amazing everyone in this sub is, whether you're currently dealing with cancer, are in remission, a caregiver, work in this field of medicine, or are affected by someone you love with cancer.
I find strength each day because of y'all. (sorry, I'm from Texas). I have learned different ways to cope and react and respond to all of this going on my life and with my mom thanks to y'all.
I promise to try to contribute more to this sub. But please know that I read everything that is posted and my heart goes out to each and every one of you around the world. Thank you so much <3
p.s. i've been a long time lurker of reddit in general, I have no idea what "karma" even means or care who upvotes or comments on this. I genuinely just wanted other people to see that hey I am here and I appreciate you!!!!
As of yesterday, I've completed my treatments! Lateral mastectomy, left side 4 rounds of A/C chemotherapy 4 rounds of Taxol 28 sessions of radiation
Honestly, I feel pretty good most of the time, although there's still some residual numbness and pain in my hands and feet.
I'm having a pretty off day (wife collapsed in tears last night), so this is one of those "what the heck" posts...
Have you abused the "cancer card"? Skipped work, played on sympathies, avoided social engagements... be anonymous and shameless
I just posted this link in another thread, which is what made me think of this - my favorite example of abusing the cancer card
Personally, I have used it to blow off a few days of work when I just didn't want to go. And a few female friends have sent me (unsolicited) nude photos to cheer me up - I'm not complaining.
Sometimes I do feel guilty about it, since I'm in no pain and feel fine. On the other hand, I'm 6'4" and 170lbs fighting to put on weight, and I can't climb two flights of stairs without sitting down panting. And then I get to the realization that my lungs aren't going to "get better"...
...so let's hear it - maybe I'll get some new ideas...
I have stage 3 metastatic breast cancer. I feel positive about chemo/radiation/hormone treatment most days. (I don’t want to do details today). But when someone tells me some horribly sad or gnarly cancer story, I just feel like my breast cancer story means nothing. I get discouraged. I worry that I’m fighting this fight alone because it’s not “as bad as it could be” (someone said to me today). How do you validate yourself? That your story, while “common” and not the “worst” is still hard and scary? Am I alone in this? Is this ridiculous?
My husband is currently battling melanoma. A couple days ago, we thought that it was just in the lymph nodes in his neck. Yesterday they discovered spots in his lungs. He is currently doing immunotherapy - the Opdivo and Yervoy combo. He's had three treatments thus far. From the material I have read, immunotherapy has dramatically changed the landscape of melanoma treatment. However, since the cancer has spread to his lungs, I'm becoming increasingly worried. Are there are any survivor stories out there? I'm trying to stay positive and be patient, but it's been a difficult past few days.
So my wife was diagnosed today, 2.3 cm in size, she’s going for an ultrasound tomorrow morning.
I was hoping you fighters can let me know what to expect in terms of the surgery and everything, so unexpected, still seems unbelievable.
To all of you fighting in this subreddit, god bless you all and keep fighting.
Thanks in advance #fuckcancer
I found out last week my grandmother has duodenal cancer. My mother and aunt have taken some time off of work to take care of her. I've been asking what doctors have said or recommended but most of the time I've gotten just very generic answer, and the food they are cooking for my grandmother hasn't been very pleasant for her.
She also has type 2 diabetes.
In the mean time I'll be waiting to go with her to the doctors so I can be the one to gather information.
Hi all. I’m new here. A little less than a month ago I was diagnosed with a synovial sarcoma in my upper arm. Luckily, my scans were clear and showed no signs of metastasis. I’m currently receiving 25 rounds of pre-op radiation and will later have surgery to remove the 5.3cm mass. When I met with my chemo doc, he told me that my sarcoma had more than likely been in my body for the past 15 years (I am 29). I had only just begun to feel the pain 10 years ago because it started to press on my radial nerve. He said even though my scans were clear, some rouge cells could be heading to my lungs right now to form additional sarcomas (It terrifies me to think that my cancer may have been spreading for 15 long years). Then, he gave me the CHOICE of post op chemo to kill those cells. I know, I know, you always have a choice. But this time it’s a choice because there is not enough studies done on my type of tumor to prove it will make a difference, due to how rare it is. There have been studies on people with similar sarcomas, including a few with my type, that show chemo does have a benefit in lowering the risk of recurrence. There is not a hard number to show how much that reduction is. Without chemo, my chance of recurrence in the lungs is about 50%. Me choosing not to do chemo would not go against his standard of care or recommendations. It is totally my choice. If I do choose to do so, I would start with 3 cycles of adriamycin and ifosfamide (AIM). My question is, for those of you who have gone though or are currently going through chemo (especially AIM) - is it worth it? Are all the super shitty side effects worth the slight peace of mind you get? Worth the unknown lesser chance of recurrence? I know everyone reacts differently, but I’d like to know the experience others have had with this. Also relevant: I have a 1 year old daughter, a loving husband and family to support me, and I landed my dream job about 2 months ago - basically I want to stick around for all that. Thank you in advance. I’m sending all of you the best vibes I can. 💛
I found out I had an infiltrating brain tumor in my left thalamus in November 2017. When I had a biopsy, we found out it had the H3 K27M mutation. That puts it in the same class as DIPG— they’re all called “diffuse midline glioma” now.
Average survival time for kids with DIPG is ~9 months. That’s the most common type of cancer in this class. They usually have very large tumors in the pons that respond well to radiation, shrink and lay dormant for a few months, then grow exponentially and uncontrollably. I’m five months post-radiation and two months off of maintenance chemo (clinical trial!)
I am so fucking scared. I know I already have a better shot because mine is theoretically resectable and has no blood vessel growth/mitotic features under a microscope, and it responded to treatment, I just... I’m 18. I haven’t seen ANYTHING or done half the things I want to do. Nobody wants to admit that I could die. I feel really fucking frustrated that very few people understand how serious this is.
Also, I’m paranoid. Headache? Tumor grew and pressed against my third ventricle, causing hydrocephalus. Backache? Spread to my spinal cord. Nauseated? Also something wrong.
I don’t feel like it’s fair to hold out hope for beating the odds when they are so firmly stacked against me. Goddamnit, I don’t want to hope and get it crushed and watch my mom suffer through losing a child. She’s my best friend and my biggest cheerleader. I don’t know if I would survive losing her. I don’t want her to have to lose me to cancer when that was a fear she had all throughout my childhood. I’m just so tired of being scared and of imagining the future.
To update: my father not only found an awesome law firm but is being cared for by a leading mesothelioma specialist. Specialist paid for by navy. I’ll never feel it’s ok what the navy did but at least they’re doing the best they can now.
And to anyone who Thinks negatively of me for being angry and lashing out at anyone (including the navy) Because I thought my dad was being attacked....stay away from all my posts. You are not doing me any favors with anything you have to give or say. Your contributions is most def NOT wanted. If you have no compassion for grieving individuals and can’t understand and sympathize with the many different complex emotions they face with such a deadly and brutal diagnosis ( with almost no hope of survival) then you have no business around terminally ill patients and their families. You Def should not be on a cancer support subreddit
just got the call from my mother who has been pretty much the sole care provider for my younger brother who has stage 4 cancer that they are stopping his chemotherapy due to complications. His cancer started in his esophagus and has spread to other organs including his liver which they were targeting most recently. Last week he started calling and telling me to quit my job because he knew how I could not have to work and take care of my daughter for the rest of my life. He stopped responding and talking by the end of the week and was taken by the rescue squad to the emergency room where he was admitted for the weekend for testing and care. He's communicating now. What I heard from my mother is that hospice care is going to be coming to visit with my mother and him this week. Then I heard that he's really upset that he probably will be missing the avengers movies and star wars movies. I've known this dude for 40+ years and these are things he's cared about his entire life for the most part. This is like a tough punch in the ribs and it sucks.