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[–][deleted]  (153 children)

[deleted]

    [–]midn1te 1763 points1764 points  (93 children)

    How many tents are you buying that you have special tent money set aside?

    [–][deleted]  (73 children)

    [deleted]

      [–]kodack10 162 points163 points  (12 children)

      So if you lost some of your rent money, could it hypothetically become tent money?

      [–]Willy_Wankah 80 points81 points  (8 children)

      I'm pitching a tent right now, will report back if the money starts to flood in.

      [–]Peeef 31 points32 points  (3 children)

      It's been 8 minutes. Your tent is definitely a collapsed flaccid mess by now. What happened, did you get rich?

      [–]street_smartz 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      Must not have gone gay for pay like other porn stars do...

      [–]moralanarchy 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Man's gotta eat

      [–]Willy_Wankah 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I'm on the edge, any minute now!

      [–]folksyframe592 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Contact a doctor if your tent lasts longer than 4 hours

      [–]StaringAtYourBudgie 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      Tent money - viagra's not cheap

      [–]lovetimespace 179 points180 points  (36 children)

      I don't think you needed to clarify.

      [–]the_recluse 284 points285 points  (31 children)

      speak for yourself, I am an idiot and did not know he meant rent money

      Source: my high school report cards

      [–]FortuneHasFaded 91 points92 points  (22 children)

      I just thought it was some new slang term I hadn't heard yet

      [–]EnkiRise 55 points56 points  (17 children)

      I thought he was British or something and they use the word tent for rent or something similar like tenets

      [–]Noob911 8 points9 points  (1 child)

      Yes, British. Hence the Euros...

      [–]tuisan 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      But it wasn't OP so the fact that it was Euros wouldn't matter right? Am I missing something?

      [–]Strykerz3r0 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      ugh

      I always think that when I see something I don't understand on the internet, but I am old.

      [–]S0lenya_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Same. Just thought it was shortened Tenant money

      [–]I_Can_Haz_Brainz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Well, being reclusive doesn't help either. :-P

      [–]Vuqez 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Yep, I think I may be atleast a bit retarded

      [–]Calamity_chowderz 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      He fashions tents together with check stubs.

      [–]HIs4HotSauce 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Rent money... tent money... with the way prices and salaries are going it’s an interchangeable term.

      [–]ThaleaTiny 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Didn't know Bedouins had flush toilets. What's next, automatic camel litter boxes?

      [–]Ramoach 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Money doesn't grow on trees. It grows on tents

      [–]Califer 53 points54 points  (7 children)

      There's always that one guy that's always pitching tents.

      [–]GbHaseo 14 points15 points  (6 children)

      Your comment reminded of this news story I just heard on the radio about this guy who had a spinal injury or some crap, and now has over 100 uncontrollable orgasims a day. Like just taking out the trash, one will just happen. He had to get on disability bc the social issues it caused were horrible. He can't even go to his kids ballgames anymore bc ppl thought he was a pedophile.

      [–]youdubdub 10 points11 points  (4 children)

      I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee

      I’m a wigwam, I’m a teepee

      [–]Bobdrewbert 22 points23 points  (0 children)

      Relax man, you're two tents.

      [–]Not_tommy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      You are 2 different sets of portable makeshift shelters. Ah I don't think I said that right.

      [–]bobbakkersnuts 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Human: /silly

      [–]xixi2 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Have you ever tried re-packing a tent? Fuckin just worth buying a new one every time.

      [–]LickMyThralls 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      The guy is probably just intents.

      [–]DonRee4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Buying MONTHLY at that

      [–]BloodyFreeze 76 points77 points  (13 children)

      This is what i used to send my landlord when i was trying to find them to pay rent

      pic 1

      pic 2

      [–]taggadem810 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      That is fucking amazing

      [–]Draked1 8 points9 points  (10 children)

      $1122 a month? Damn

      [–]olddoeyoungbuck 12 points13 points  (6 children)

      That's a deal where I live. Average one bedroom is like 1500$ or 2100$ if your actually in the city.

      [–]CaterpieLv99 1 point2 points  (5 children)

      My average is 1800... I pay 1170 and deal with roaches and no ac/anything

      [–]getzdegreez 44 points45 points  (1 child)

      tent money

      ಠ_ಠ

      [–]cqm 20 points21 points  (0 children)

      He does nightly shakedowns of the people without addresses in San Francisco

      [–]fishinbuttersauce 21 points22 points  (22 children)

      People pay rent in cash? In 2018?

      [–]nearlyclever 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      The cash/underground economy is enormous. All the folks that work under the table gotta pay the rent somehow.

      [–]HerrXRDS 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      There are people having proper careers for years with important industry providers, making 6 figures and getting paid under the table. Occasionally they get caught by IRS, but not as often you'd think.

      [–]SSPanzer101 3 points4 points  (11 children)

      There are a ton of people who are unable to get a bank account.

      [–]verylobsterlike 16 points17 points  (9 children)

      I've always heard that about america but I never understood why. What is it that's difficult about getting a bank account there?

      Here, all you need are two pieces of ID for a basic account. If you want overdraft protection or a credit card, you'd need a credit check, but otherwise just walk into any bank and open an account at any time.

      In fact, since a lot of them nowadays have no monthly fees and have a certain number of free email money transfers per month, I've been considering creating a new account just to pay rent so I can save the two bucks a month in fees it costs to email my rent to my landlord.

      [–]TheArrangement 7 points8 points  (8 children)

      Delinquent accounts from other banks show up on their credit report. Can't get new account.

      [–]pilotwithnoname 4 points5 points  (4 children)

      Go figure. You don't pay what you owe, and they won't offer to host an account for you? Shocker.

      [–]richardec 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Tent money? Is that code for TeePee?

      [–]wyvernwy 18 points19 points  (1 child)

      That's like"accidentally" leaving the ATM receipt somewhere on the day you deposited the escrow check for a property sale. That money was in your account for an hour but it was huge.

      [–]KidJuly 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      I read it short for "tenant"

      [–]modsofrfoodaregay 719 points720 points  (119 children)

      I worked in a place where the regulars left lines on the tank for other regulars and bartenders.

      [–]the_recluse 690 points691 points  (66 children)

      I would never do a random line on a toilet if I didn’t know where it came from.

      I would definitely stare at it for a good 5 minutes conflicted, but I would decline eventually.

      [–]xrumrunnrx 137 points138 points  (22 children)

      Bonus protip (from a friend): Don't break up stuff on the back of a toilet without cleaning it off as well as possible. Caustic cleaning agents burn in the not-good way. (Not to mention...it's a toilet. But, here we are anyway.)

      [–]DetroitDiggler 119 points120 points  (12 children)

      As a cocaine aficionado myself, those caustic chemicals are no worse than how the coke was made or cut with.

      That being said, I have to blow my nose.

      Excuse me.

      [–]glitchboard 32 points33 points  (1 child)

      Blow your nose, or nose some blow?

      [–]Keepem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      Nose your blow

      [–]kacmandoth 8 points9 points  (6 children)

      Ehh, just do it on your phone.

      [–]kuroiryu 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      Hah, is that why people need those giant phones.

      [–]discountedeggs 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      Your nasty ass phone that touches everything you touch?

      [–]kacmandoth 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      A quick wipe with a shirt removes like 95% of surface level bacteria. Also, hard drugs typically aren't something bacteria is keen on jumping on to.

      [–]rm23fx 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      Bacteria prefer softer drugs like marijuana and mushrooms.

      [–]here-to-jerk-off 13 points14 points  (3 children)

      plus you know people piss of all over, pube hairs, coughing, sneezing, farting, spitting, the whole nine.

      [–]L248XT 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      I only count 6 examples

      [–]Tacos2night 4 points5 points  (1 child)

      Considering your username I can't believe you didn't mention Jizz

      [–]here-to-jerk-off 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      blood, jizz, poop, vomit, snot

      [–]bigups43 12 points13 points  (1 child)

      Key bumps are the way to go

      [–]Gordondel 17 points18 points  (0 children)

      Problem is you won't be sober when given the opportunity.

      [–]respecteduser 17 points18 points  (6 children)

      smart man. with the fentanyl crisis going on in my area I stay away from drugs in general these days

      [–]Drunksmurf101 13 points14 points  (4 children)

      Pretty rare for fentanyl to end up in coke, but you hear about it more because most coke users have 0 opiate tolerance and are more likely to overdose from it.

      [–]respecteduser 18 points19 points  (0 children)

      that's pretty much the problem. a dude I used to rave with died from fent laced coke last week so it's been on my brain more than ever

      [–]Farts-R-Us 6 points7 points  (2 children)

      Overdosed and had to be administered Narcan by Paramedics when my “friend” found me unresponsive on my kitchen floor two months ago cuz of this! Play stupid games, win stupid prizes and all that jazz! Don’t do drugs kids!

      [–]DrTimeout 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      I hope you’re okay, and I hope that was a wake-up call.

      [–]Farts-R-Us 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Yea HUGE wake up call. In outpatient rehab and 2 months sober thank you!

      [–]modsofrfoodaregay 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      No, these were regulars and would hold the door open so that each regular or bartender would know it was their “turn”. No need to check, they always cleaned the tank lid.

      [–]NeedleAndSpoon 15 points16 points  (3 children)

      I'd stare it a while conflicted but I don't think I'd decline it. Although I wouldn't do it all at once I don't think, guess I'd put it in a wrap and take it away.

      [–]scrapitcleveland 25 points26 points  (2 children)

      I'd dip my finger and lick first.

      [–]gavrocheBxN 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      What if you already had a couple lines before?

      [–]ptntprty 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      I think we all know the answer to that question

      [–]tmh95 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      You know, I've been on Reddit for a while ama am pretty good at determining what is a joke or sincere. But with so many upvotes to such strong abuse of drugs here, I'm so confused. Does this thread have more junkies than I can fathom or am I missing the comedy this time?

      [–]Cheerful-as-fuck 5 points6 points  (2 children)

      Coke use is way more common than you'd think. Also not every coke user is a junkie.

      [–]Pons__Aelius 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Had the same with a couple of long-term guests while managing a Hostel.

      [–]Jellykapop 14 points15 points  (38 children)

      I've never done drugs so I guess I just don't understand the hype, and I'm also really compulsive about germs....but would anyone really do a line off a toilet? Where people poop?? 🤮

      Edit to explain I was homeschooled and super naive... I'm less sheltered now but damn some stuff people do just boggles my mind still.

      [–]chicken_N_ROFLs 39 points40 points  (27 children)

      Well, not off of the seat, but yes on the lid they absolutely do. Drugs are... how do I say it? Rather compelling. Especially if you’re an addict. In fact, an addict would do it off the seat no questions asked. The level of depravity increases as the addiction grows (sharing needles, etc). Just stay away from drugs m’kay?

      [–]xrumrunnrx 12 points13 points  (0 children)

      It's just the most convenient place sometimes while also being private.

      Just think how if you were starving a trash can sandwich starts looking better and better.

      [–]heuve 16 points17 points  (1 child)

      With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he’ll never know

      [–]p1um5mu991er 582 points583 points  (17 children)

      I want a big 'ol log left behind so I have something to compete with

      [–]VarmVaffel 85 points86 points  (12 children)

      Damn this cracked me up hard, and I'm not easily cracked

      [–]HouseOfCosbyz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      And if OP leaves his shit behind with the other shit, the next guy in that stall would have a chance to complete the "lumber yard".

      [–]munkiman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Challenge accepted!

      [–]EDDIE_BR0CK 3 points4 points  (1 child)

      A good use for the poopknife, to be sure.

      [–]HereSirTakeMyUpvote 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      I get this reference!

      Today I am a true Redditor!

      [–]HenryBliss 613 points614 points  (5 children)

      I hate this one sheet toilet paper stuff.

      [–]3am_quiet 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      That's 50 ply finely pressed.

      [–]crischispas 470 points471 points  (82 children)

      THAT’S A MADRID METRO CARD omg my city pops up rarely but it is much appreciated

      edit: I just now realized that is coke and that is not a good thing

      [–]Banana_4_Reference 159 points160 points  (61 children)

      How's the coke in Spain?

      [–]enataca 180 points181 points  (48 children)

      Expensive

      [–]Banana_4_Reference 52 points53 points  (45 children)

      More or less than 50 euro a gram?

      [–]ElderBowlsIVHighrim 54 points55 points  (38 children)

      Man you really want some coke...

      [–]TexasMaddog 88 points89 points  (6 children)

      Is Pepsi ok?

      [–]DisgorgeX 23 points24 points  (1 child)

      Is Monopoly money?

      [–]TexasMaddog 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      Is in Canada, eh

      [–]Banana_4_Reference 27 points28 points  (30 children)

      Yes, but that is neither here nor there, owing to me not being in Spain. Last time I was, a good gram went for 35 Euros. (1.45$ to 1€)

      It's 70 US for a really good gram so I was wondering if the numbers all still line up. No pun intended.

      [–]BloweyJoeyMumi 29 points30 points  (13 children)

      Never did it in Madrid, but in Barcelona its everywhere and not that bad...compared to other EU countries.

      It seems counter-intuitive, but buy off of a brown guy. They will be holding a 6 pack of beer. You buy a "beer" and they sell you the coke with it. Like 60€

      [–]Banana_4_Reference 30 points31 points  (5 children)

      Thank you sir. Giving out the real info. It's so pain in the ass to figure how to buy in a new Country.

      [–]BloweyJoeyMumi 19 points20 points  (4 children)

      Honestly, my only gift is being able to find drugs in foreign countries. Whatever the language barrier, scene, or time...I can find the stuff. Not sure what to do with this power, though.

      [–]Banana_4_Reference 20 points21 points  (2 children)

      We should team up, my gift is doing drugs and being high functioning and successful.

      The three go hand in glove for me.

      [–]Dank4Days 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Buy drugs with it duh

      [–]_aluk_ 7 points8 points  (5 children)

      Spain is the main entrance of cocaine in Europe. Traditionally through Galicia, where Zara was founded. Some say it was the narcos from there who invested in that firm, as a dorm of laundry.

      http://es.insightcrime.orghttps://www.reddit.com/images/2016/Junio/Screen_Shot_2016-06-03_at_16.38.45.png

      [–]BloweyJoeyMumi 5 points6 points  (4 children)

      Yup.

      Personally, Europe isnt the place to party with coke though. The M was a lot better, and generally better received when out.

      Dont ask for blow in Germany.

      [–]Helios321 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I made that mistake once! Maybe a bunch of times.......

      [–]respecteduser 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      I figure by the time blow gets to europe it's gotta be hella stepped on. is blow looked down upon in germany?

      [–]ElderBowlsIVHighrim 12 points13 points  (3 children)

      Ahh I see. I can pay 80usd from my dude and get really good stuff. 50usd from another for some okay stuff. Also I know a dude in Miami that will sell me a g for 40 bucks! He's alright!

      [–]OnI_BArIX 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      Totally not a cop or anything like that but who are these guys?

      [–]Menism 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      I pay 85 us for 1

      [–]Sylbinor 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      Just out of curiosity, how much is 1 gram?

      How many times you can "use" it?

      [–]Banana_4_Reference 11 points12 points  (1 child)

      When I really did coke, a gram of great drugs would last me 4 hours or so. I would do about 2 grams twice a week.

      Nowadays. A gram will last me 10 hours of face chewing paranoid fun...Followed by 2 hours of jerking off.

      [–]proto_sidle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Too real.

      [–]Helios321 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      Probably could last you and a friend a whole evening out, wouldn't try to get much more than that out of it.

      [–]shoktar 21 points22 points  (4 children)

      I think it's usually measured by volume. I can usually get it on sale for $1 USD for a 2 Liter, so I don't know about your euro and grams numbers.

      [–]iulioh 11 points12 points  (2 children)

      Okay this is a joke and all but pro tip: 1 liter (of water) = 1kg and 1ml=1g

      [–]shoktar 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      so I got 2 kg of Coke for $1? Bargain!

      [–]freelanceredditor 6 points7 points  (8 children)

      Barcelona has the most coke % in the air than any other European city - just a fun fact

      [–]gusta_gusta 8 points9 points  (4 children)

      What does this even mean

      [–]shoktar 18 points19 points  (2 children)

      The rest of Europe drinks Pepsi

      [–]freelanceredditor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Means love is in air brah

      [–]Awearyman 28 points29 points  (0 children)

      I like people to leave some irrelevant detail askew so I can bitch about it later.

      [–]AHungryFalcon 97 points98 points  (7 children)

      The golden rule always confused me as a kid for this exact reason. Like if I wouldn’t share my lunch with some kid he’d say, “treat others how you’d like to be treated”, and I’d say, “I’d bet you’d like me to hand you a million dollars, so pay up”.

      [–]DrThirdOpinion 78 points79 points  (5 children)

      It should really be: "Don't do things to other people that you wouldn't want other people to do to you. Also, be generous and kind within reason."

      [–]khaylaaa 29 points30 points  (0 children)

      That’s how it should be received but people like to be petulant

      [–]GAMEFREAK333 15 points16 points  (0 children)

      I'd always use it as an excuse to get back at bullies. Teachers and parents would be like "remember the golden rule" and I'd say "I am. They were mean to me so they want me to be mean to them"

      [–]7palms 43 points44 points  (0 children)

      Yay it forward

      [–]The21Numbers 86 points87 points  (7 children)

      That’s around €850 or $1036.70.

      [–]lemayo 34 points35 points  (5 children)

      I think there's at least 20 of them there.

      [–]clockwerkman 24 points25 points  (3 children)

      I counted at least 19, including the one rolled up. 20 seems like a good estimate given the shitty res

      [–]iWroteAboutMods 8 points9 points  (2 children)

      Glad to see I wasn't the only one counting these; personally estimated it at about 18x50 euros. I agree that 20 seems like a safe bet.

      [–]Noble_Ox 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I think theres a grand.

      [–]imakeitmoist 51 points52 points  (17 children)

      Those are some phat lines

      [–]swagdaddy5151 10 points11 points  (0 children)

      No toothpicks this part of the bathroom

      [–]mr_sabz 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      Proper slugs

      [–]bobnuggerman 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Those sure are some extra large honkerburgers

      [–]fordfan919 8 points9 points  (0 children)

      Gator tails

      [–]_snoop_ 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Gaggers

      [–]gypsy_remover 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Gorilla fingers

      [–]DeoFayte 9 points10 points  (3 children)

      But if everyone left it as they found it, no one would get to enjoy any of that until some selfish bastard came along. So OP is a selfish bastard.

      [–]paddymcg123 7 points8 points  (1 child)

      But the sign doesn't say leave it how you found it. It says leave it how you would like to find it. Depending on how high your standards are, you could take or add to the pile then.

      [–]The_UnApologist 24 points25 points  (9 children)

      This reminds me of stories here in Canada of people who pay for the person's order in front of them in the drive-thru at Tim Hortons. Only I like this version better.

      [–]tophernator 33 points34 points  (5 children)

      Isn’t it easier to pay for the person behind you? Saves a lot of aggressive overtaking in a confined drive thru queue.

      [–]JWarblerMadman 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Right? By the time you're paying the person in front of you has already paid.

      [–]CaptainCanuck93 7 points8 points  (2 children)

      These days Tim's usually has one window where you order, and one window where you both pick up your order and pay

      So people will order and say "add whatever the person in front of me is buying to my bill"

      [–]lemayo 10 points11 points  (2 children)

      Just went to Tim's and paid it forward with blow. Now the police are at my door. What'd I miss?

      [–]Dicethrower 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      I'd say about a 1000 euro and more blow.

      [–]bow_to_lucifer 37 points38 points  (10 children)

      You’re not allowed to grab the cash, otherwise you’ll change how it was.

      [–]vVvMaze 13 points14 points  (0 children)

      Leave it how you would like to find it, not how it was.

      I would like to find it clean and spotless so ill just go ahead and get this cash out of here and leave the toilet nice and clean as thats how id like it...

      [–]Livingexistence 26 points27 points  (6 children)

      I would be happy with 1 schmeckle sooo... I'll just take almost all of it

      [–]bow_to_lucifer 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Fair enough

      [–]kodack10 6 points7 points  (4 children)

      Yeah but think of what you could do with 25 schmeckles....You could get a boob job!

      [–]MyUncleTeabaggedme 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      Hi im Mr. Boobie buyer and ill buy those boobies for 25 shmeckles

      [–]kodack10 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Oh a tempting offer but I'm afraid I'll have to pass.

      [–]SadboyBooHoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      people downtown sure are friendly

      [–]french99 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Coupla cheeseburgers would be nice.

      [–]Nyxses 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      Flush one, snort one. That’s the name of the game, ya’ll

      [–]GingerGuerrilla 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      You have to open the tank to reap the riches of the $10 GameCube.

      [–]paswall-E 5 points6 points  (11 children)

      What the conversion on that?

      [–]Cookie_monster7 6 points7 points  (9 children)

      Its all 50 euro bills and euro is 1.22 dollars so probebly around 60 dollars notes each and every one of them. You could have a nice night with them i guess.

      [–]Dicethrower 4 points5 points  (3 children)

      You could have a nice night with them i guess.

      It's clear I don't know how to party, because I wouldn't even know how to spend that much without just going into a busy bar and buying drinks for everyone all night.

      [–]rachll 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      R/karmaconspiracy

      [–]peterpeterpeter25 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I have my doubts about the authenticity.

      [–]bgrizzle85 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Putting the coke on a card instead of the porcelain toilet...(mind blown). Lol

      [–]JamieGreystone 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      Spaniard travelling I can tell.

      [–]Third_Chelonaut 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      Euros and Madrid metro card but sign in English?

      Maybe partying hard in Dublin

      [–]TheUnderdog2020 3 points4 points  (2 children)

      Damn. Those are hanging too precariously over edge for my liking. One little movement and you've got yourself a couple of hundreds worth of soggy, piss-stained notes.

      [–]meltboro 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Be the change you want to see in the world and pay it forward!