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all 58 comments

[–]Venrexx 229 points230 points  (18 children)

See, this is why sex these days is so confusing to me. When I was growing up, women only had three holes.

[–]Acysbib 36 points37 points  (10 children)

There are eight holes in a human female body...

Edit: ten if you count the eyes...

If she is chubby the belly button could count as an eleven...

[–]randominternetdood 14 points15 points  (2 children)

anything is a hole if you are brave enough.....

[–]Bareknucklepugilist 2 points3 points  (1 child)

chubby, behind the knee works too if you bend their leg just right.

[–]Acysbib 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well... If weare counting folds you have both knees, each tit individually (if large enough) and then boobs combined. Elbows, armpits... There are lots of "holes" if you use your imagination...

[–]duckfuckerlover 0 points1 point  (3 children)

There is a porn fetish where guys fuck their urethras with dildos (it's fascinating, go watch it if you've never seen it.) So I have to imagine someone has suceeded in putting a penis inside a nostril.

[–]mm2222 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is crude but a buddy used to say with a chubby girl it’s hard to know if your actually “in”

[–]partumvir 9 points10 points  (2 children)

I think you mean Fore! holes.

[–]justablur 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Shoulda yelled "two"!

[–]BurgerSupreme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got a Birdie!

[–]x6ixty9 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Every holes a goal!

[–]surrendersparkles 2 points3 points  (0 children)

...not the urethra.

[–]mickeythesquid 1 point2 points  (1 child)

If you date a hockey goalie, they have a five hole. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five-hole

[–]BottleGoblin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Something something don't change their pads often enough something

[–]Voltia89 20 points21 points  (4 children)

So how do your first dates really go?

[–]grimview 15 points16 points  (1 child)

all the way to the 18th hole.

[–]Aurori 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And then they stop

[–]fryskate 36 points37 points  (11 children)

Seriously though,mini golf is a great go to for first dates. Or any dawes for that matter. Especially if it's a black light mini golf place.

[–]redditsfulloffiction 35 points36 points  (7 children)

Just don't masturbate all over your clothes before you go blacklight golfing.

[–]fryskate 8 points9 points  (5 children)

Top tip!

[–]Celebrity292 2 points3 points  (4 children)

Dry the tip.

[–]geocab 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just the tip!

[–]Notamayata 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Use a rag.

[–]CJNC 0 points1 point  (1 child)

i find steel wool cleans it better

[–]Notamayata 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...and burns faster.

[–]DWells55 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, well now you tell me.

[–]imacokeaddict 8 points9 points  (1 child)

You can actually spend time talking to eachother, but there’s enough distraction to fill silent moments, and new moments to talk about, unlike a movie where you actually learn very little about the person.

[–]fryskate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Movies are never on my agenda if it's even remotely considered a date.

[–]Aurori 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get WAY too competitive to go minigolfen at a first date. My gf has picked up on it and when we do minigolfen she makes it a game within the game to get into my head, it's really frustrating but in the end it's just fun and games, as long as I win that is

[–]mistermuckle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I read the “Employees Must Wash Hands Before Returning to Work” signs as, “Employees must wash their hands, right? They must. I mean, it would be gross if they didn’t.”

[–]seifer666 11 points12 points  (3 children)

That's a regular golf course

[–]unassumingdink 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe a combination mini-golf course and driving range. We've got one of those near me.

[–]MikesPhone 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Or someone wants to lob it over the fucking clownm

[–]_BAMBOOZLE_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

YOU’RE GONNA DIE CLOWN

[–]pm_me_Spidey_memes 4 points5 points  (6 children)

What’s going on here? I get that it used to say “putt out” but this looks like a regular golf course to me, what’s the demand to Putt out? Like, why does the course care?

[–]1killer911 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Its the ball return, the 18th hole doesnt give the ball back and collects it for the course.

[–]pm_me_Spidey_memes 4 points5 points  (4 children)

So this is a mini golf course? Because I don’t see any indication other than the sign that it is.

And a lot of signs that point to regular golf course.

[–]Neltech 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Like the golf bag? I mean, I bring my own putter to mini golf, but not all my clubs

[–]pm_me_Spidey_memes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah and the lack of mini golf holes. And the open feel of fencing. Idk man. I mean I guess you have to be right, but everything points to this being a regular golf course to me

[–]freak4link 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Driving range next to a mini golf course?

[–]Kira620 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fuck oath you know it's Australia when they put metal bars on bins to stop it from opening all the way because bogans start fires in them.

[–]0LowLight0 1 point2 points  (0 children)

MRW she only wants to play the front 9.

[–]thedaj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's all fun and games until she pulls out a massive strap-on.

[–]m4dd13 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hahahaha, gross.

[–]nhavar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Jokes on you, it's only a 9 hole course!

[–]sneakytokey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is clearly not mini golf.

[–]talrogsmash 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do you find ladies with 18 holes? Asking for a friend.

[–]TundieRice 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny story, when I was a kid, I used to think "putting out" meant a girl would allow you to get her pregnant. So I was super confused by dudes on TV saying they wished their girlfriend would put out.

Not too smart of a kid I was.

[–]n0204344 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So this is where tiger woods takes his dates lol

[–]paranoid_schitzo -1 points0 points  (0 children)

19th hole?

[–]kevon87 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Wheres the 18th hole?

[–]BobDogGo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

on the back of the knee