top 200 commentsshow all 463

[–]mark_simus 1561 points1562 points  (57 children)

Oh man... as an almost bald man, fuck this! But it made me laugh my ass off and it's true...

[–]antiduh 380 points381 points  (36 children)

Just shave it all off and start calling yourself Captain.

[–]DMC_Hotness 138 points139 points  (5 children)

Make it so.

[–]UC_UC 41 points42 points  (3 children)

Number 1.

[–]Lurk6r 16 points17 points  (1 child)

Im tired of these motherfucking hairs on my motherfucking head.

[–]KypDurron 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No, just use the trimmer without any attachments

[–]Fredofsky 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Computer: shave, bald, hot.

[–]thoughtofitrightnow 30 points31 points  (15 children)

God I cant even keep up shaving my beard, to have to shave my head too sounds like heck.

[–]PyroTactician 23 points24 points  (1 child)

I’m actually better at keeping my head smooth than maintaining my beard.

[–]DukeLeto99 8 points9 points  (11 children)

Been shaving my head for about 6 months now. I can get it done in about 2 to 3 minutes while showering, easy peasy. I love it.

[–]Phaz0n 6 points7 points  (7 children)

How often do you shave your head? What tool are you using? Gonna have to go through this in the next few months...

[–]LurkerLars99 10 points11 points  (3 children)

If you maintain it often enough just a razor in the shower, pro tip get a shower mirror and save a bunch on shaving cream..it's a scam I tell you, or maybe some people need it? I've never found that to be the case for me.

If you don't do it often, hair trimmer first then razor.

Moisturize often.

Be sure to get a little tan on your head so it matches your face or you will look hilarious during the summer months. Grom your eyebrows as they will be getting a lot more game time now that your hair is in the penalty box

[–]ThetaReactor 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Every 2-3 days is generally the rule. Any razor will do. I use a DE safety razor, but the Headblade works reasonably well, too.

[–]neotropic9 15 points16 points  (2 children)

But make sure to stay fit. It's the difference between Statham and Costanza.

[–]LurkerLars99 6 points7 points  (0 children)

costanza also never owned his balding, clinging onto those last bits of hair on the sides..

I'm so glad I pulled the trigger, yes I look bad bald..but I look confident too

[–]speartongue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

super fit bald old man at the gym used to tell us kids this:

you can be fat or you can be bald, but you can't be both.

from that point I started noticing fat guys with hair still got it, and thin bald guys also got it, but the fat and bald guys got no love.

[–]LuxNocte 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Imoortant Note: For this to work you must first become Sir Patrick Stewart. Men who have not become Sir Patrick Stewart before shaving their head and asking people to call them "Captain" may experience negative outcomes.

[–]setfire3 10 points11 points  (0 children)

made me cry though

[–]DeusSolaris 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Shave it and get a cool hat, if you can grow a beard, do it

[–]Jex117 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Going bald was the best thing for me. I was a fat awkward teenager with long greasy hair, that started receding early (18th birthday my family was joking about my hairline), who turned into a badass contractor with a shaved head + beard in his 20s.

[–]h2man 8 points9 points  (0 children)

More or less... I don’t mind being bald, but really hate the hair on the side of the head.

[–]CdM-Lover 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. That. My exact comment.

[–]merzeria 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's not bad, you're just evolving into a more aerodynamic form!

[–]major84 1 point2 points  (0 children)

you know you can always shave your ass, and superglue it to your head and have the most amazing head of hair.

[–]RikerT_USS_Lolipop 1 point2 points  (1 child)

As a man who buzzed his hair to an eigth of an inch from 20-27, and then started thinning from 28-30, and is now 31....


[–]McCauley1189 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tsuji. Have faith

[–]havoc3d 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I've got encountered much issue. I'd just recommend owning it, don't try to cling to hair you don't have any more. I was married so I haven't gotten a ton of female feedback; if you're dating I'm sure there are some women who wouldn't like it but others have kind of a thing for it. Like any other fashion or hair choice I'd think.

[–]DanTheFireman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just started shaving my head. It seems weird at first but I'm not self conscious about hiding my thin spots anymore. It's truly freeing. I'm only 22.

[–]EmileKhadaji 634 points635 points  (15 children)

There's an old saying:

If you're balding in the front you're a great thinker.

If you're balding in the back you're a great lover.

If you're balding in both you think you're a great lover.

[–]Thighbone_Sid 90 points91 points  (11 children)

You can bald from the back?

[–]EmileKhadaji 128 points129 points  (0 children)

sorry, i assume it refers to the top as oppose to a receding hair line in the front

[–]rahtin 14 points15 points  (5 children)

The very back hair, no. You only lose that if you have something like alopecia.

Patrick Stewart bald is about as bald as you can get under normal circumstances. That's why they take the hair from the back for transplants.

[–]bobusdoleus 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I guess no one's a truly great lover. We have heights to aspire to, as a species.

[–]Qorgi 13 points14 points  (2 children)

I just realized when people say taking hair from the back they mean FROM THE BACK OF THE HEAD. For some reason I always thought when people said this they meant they were using actual back hair and always wondered what people with thin or no back hair would use.

[–]Stormkiko 5 points6 points  (1 child)

That kind of treatment would only work for Jack Sparrow.

[–]Firebolt98 11 points12 points  (2 children)

I've heard another version of this saying in Arabic. It's more of a riddle than a saying, but it goes like:

A person who's balding from the front is a thinker.

A person who's balding from the back is smart.

So then, what would you call a person who is balding from both the front and the back?

Answer: A person who thinks they are smart.

[–]Neoxite23 93 points94 points  (18 children)

As a guy who went bald at 25....

Ouch. This hurts.

[–]D9sinc 30 points31 points  (14 children)

I started at 20. . . it sucks, but I learned to embrace my shaved head.

[–][deleted]  (8 children)


    [–]ilovelemondrizzle 12 points13 points  (1 child)

    From experience (started at around 18 years old), it just gets easier with time. I originally spent hours looking into ways to stop it and even pricing up potential hair transplants before just shaving it all off, as each month goes by you think about it less and less and realise nobody actually gives a shit

    [–]Tb11 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Speaking from experience here, shave your head and grow some facial hair.

    [–]MrBookerIfYoureNasty 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Go buzzed or shave it down! I have been doing it for years and I feel great about my "hair."

    [–]RiFLE_ 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    Same story. I'm actually completely fine with it. The only thing that makes me insecure is to get a proper tan, got a very white skin and I just literally burn if I don't cover it..

    [–]Dinosaur_Cake_Roar 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    The only thing that makes me feel insecure is comics like this one that imply being bald is bad.

    [–]imakeitmoist 547 points548 points  (119 children)

    Do bald people still use shampoo?

    [–]Ronnieflash 123 points124 points  (6 children)

    I’m at the point in life where I use soap on my head and shampoo for the rest of my body.

    [–]Gravaton123 60 points61 points  (4 children)

    Are you a 34 year old italian man?

    [–]CandB2008 23 points24 points  (1 child)

    the Salamis gave it away

    [–]improbablewobble 10 points11 points  (0 children)

    I find pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted, cured meats.

    [–]jnksjdnzmd 247 points248 points  (28 children)

    No, I have like 1/8" hair. Why would I?

    [–]smoeahsolse 304 points305 points  (3 children)

    Luxuriant stubble.

    [–]ekfslam 5 points6 points  (2 children)

    I actually like the smell from my shampoo better so I use it to get a sniff. I can't find it in soap format unfortunately.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    use it as a body wash anyways.

    [–]smoeahsolse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    After you shave your whole body. Covered head to toe in luxuriant stubble.

    [–]ELEMENTALITYNES 30 points31 points  (14 children)

    For fun?

    [–]APSupernary 21 points22 points  (12 children)

    Nah shampoo burns, conditioner is for the fun

    [–]7355135061550 120 points121 points  (9 children)

    Shampoo burns? Are you okay?

    [–]Einsteins_coffee_mug 24 points25 points  (7 children)

    I see you’ve never gotten intimate with a loofa,

    [–]7355135061550 61 points62 points  (6 children)

    No, I have never fucked a loofah.

    [–]PahoojyMan 14 points15 points  (0 children)

    Whoah, hold on there. You can get intimate without fucking you know?

    Try opening up to your loofah, it can be quite the exfoliating experience.

    [–]Terminusbbq1 9 points10 points  (3 children)

    It burns.

    [–]Heyec 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    Loofah burns? Are you okay?

    [–]two_black_eyes 7 points8 points  (1 child)

    I see you've never gotten intimate with a hotel face scrub bottle

    [–]JonasNG 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    She's the loofah my life.

    [–]xmsxms 24 points25 points  (4 children)

    scalp care. Any kind of scalp problems like dandruff, dry scalp, oily scalp etc need more attention by bald people because their scalp is exposed.

    [–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (1 child)

    I actually have noticed zero dandruff or dry skin or anything of that nature since I started having to shave my head. I use lotion right afterward for moisture but after that I'm good for a few days until I shave again.

    [–]InvisibleLeftHand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Solved by wearing hats.

    [–]CollectableRat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Cleanse out he spider eggs.

    [–]demon646 13 points14 points  (3 children)

    Look up "3 in 1 Hair and Bodywash"

    [–]thehouseofjohndeaf 13 points14 points  (2 children)

    That was my go-to once I went over that line of balding to bald. But if I'm in a situation (like at a hotel or staying somewhere) where I only have soap/body wash/shampoo I use the shampoo, otherwise the oil and grease spreads down my forehead, eventually covering my whole body in a gelatinous substance.

    [–]GreatDeku 9 points10 points  (1 child)

    Are you Frank Reynolds, and is your goal in life to just be pure?

    [–]cfeuer1 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Yes. Heads still get oily, but a bottle lasts a year

    [–]Colonel_of_Corn 10 points11 points  (5 children)

    I'm receding at 22 and buzz my hair with no guard. I still dab a little up there because it keeps my scalo healthy. Majority of the shampoo goes in my bears though.

    [–]etnad024 38 points39 points  (1 child)

    Your bears must have luscious fur.

    [–]PyroTactician 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    I started receding at 12. At that point, it’s time to go all out. Ditch the buzz, start shaving it.

    [–]AnotherDawkins 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Haven't paid for a haircut or shampoo in about 20 years now. Bald by choice at first though.

    [–]MayorScotch 4 points5 points  (0 children)

    Me too except I have white guy with dreadlocks syndrome.

    [–]apatheorist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

    The scalp still needs special love regardless of the hair involved.

    [–]souper13 6 points7 points  (4 children)

    What do bald people see in there dreams?

    [–]DrDisastor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I do out of tradition I guess. Lasts for ever.

    [–]EvilNinjaX24 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Absolutely. I shave my head (like once a week, usually, with clippers and not a razor), and use a shampoo to keep my scalp healthy.

    [–]UncleJesseD 4 points5 points  (2 children)

    I'm not bald (yet, but I am losing my hair to male pattern baldness) and I don't even use shampoo. Just rinse your hair everyday in the shower and make sure you massage your scalp and your hair a little and it does wonders. My hair isn't gross or overly oily at all because it doesn't need to over produce oil that's being stripped from it daily from shampoo. It's very freeing honestly.

    [–]randominternetdood 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I have thick luxurious annoyingly fast growing hair. it does take a little hair soap to keep it that way.

    [–]smik_fury 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    There is no way your hair looks good though...

    [–]samuelgato 5 points6 points  (35 children)

    Not bald, but I haven't used shampoo in years. Hot water works just fine on my hair

    [–]Hatsune_Candy 24 points25 points  (27 children)

    Wish I could do that, but my hair gets ridiculously oily if I don't shampoo it at least every two days.

    [–]TheImmortalMe 14 points15 points  (22 children)

    According to the internet that's because shampoo strips away the oils causing your scalp to overproduce oil. Like the other poster said checkout /r/NoPoo

    [–]rahtin 35 points36 points  (15 children)

    Every thread is people having issues with not using shampoo. Think I'll pass.

    [–]ibuprofen87 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Well naturally, people who don't have issues won't post.

    I do it with no issues - saves a bit of time and effort, and my hair looks better.

    [–]YoungishGrasshopper 1 point2 points  (12 children)

    That's only for people with long hair. It takes a while to get into the groove because it relies on the natural oils in your hair to not be stripped and then replaced artificially by the shampoo conditioner combo. With short hair this is easy. With long hair it requires a decent amount of effort to figure out. Not worth it to me as a have really long thick hair, but my husband had not used shampoo in his hair for years and it's fabulous

    [–]improbablewobble 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    Everything's anecdotal. I don't have long hair but it's very thick, and a friend convinced me to not use shampoo, so I tried it. After a few weeks of just rinsing it with water, it was disgustingly oily.

    [–]JessthePest 1 point2 points  (9 children)

    If you ever wanted to, I have waist length hair and I no poo (hotish-warm water rinse and light preen one week, conditioner “wash” the next). I actually have to oil the ends of my hair daily because my scalp doesn’t produce enough to make it to the tips. But, waist length may be the longest I can go as I’ve had to cut my split ends three times and keep losing ground. That’s actually why I started no poo is I wanted romance novel cover hair and could never grow it out past my shoulder blades without ratty ends.

    It’s awesome right now! I have a really long curl that doesn’t look right without a long length (frizzy waves if it’s any shorter). I can never, ever put product (other than hydrating oils/conditioners) in it, so I use a lot of wet roller sets if I want a “do.” I also don’t use ever heat unless I’m doing a hydration treatment.

    But, I started no-pooing with a short pixie and grew it out this length. I did a lot of scritch-n-preen for the first year or so, but now it’s too long. Also, I read a lot of black lady hair blogs and use a lot of their tips to take care of my hair. Like, I have certain styles that revolve around my “wash” schedule, I never get my hair wet unless I’m “washing” it, I pineapple and wrap it up every night, stuff like that.

    The only thing that really trips me up nowadays is when I start a new exercise regime or when I start to run outside in the spring. I get really sweaty and have to warmish-cool water rinse my hair right after my workout.

    Oh! Also, after I delivered my daughter. During that year of post-partum nursing my hormones were crazy-stupid and I was constantly sweaty and oily. And with a new baby, I just didn’t have the time to take care of my hair the way I was used to so I caved and bought a sulfate/paraben-free shampoo and washed once a week.

    But right now is awesome!

    [–]YoungishGrasshopper 1 point2 points  (4 children)

    I have been perpetually pregnant for 5 years so there is no "normal" for me

    [–]DistortoiseLP 2 points3 points  (1 child)

    I wash my hair every day because my "natural oils" give my hair this springy erratic look that makes me look like a slob, and I more or less need to use either a wax or an oil pomade to be able to comb it into the taper cut hairstyle I've been wearing for years.

    A number of people in college (I went to school for design) were hippies and hipsters huge into eliminating or minimizing how much they use shampoo, soap, or even bathe entirely because it deprives them of their natural this or that. Most of them smelled like shit.

    [–]galleria_suit 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    I've heard that there's a period if you stop using shampoo where your body ramps up the oil production because it's used to having to secrete more oil due to the shampoo stripping your bodys natural oils away. After a few days without shampoo use it could return to a baseline. I haven't used shampoo for the better part of a year and my hair's fine, I can't remember if I had an exceptionally greasy period or not hahah. My scalp is also way less itchy than it was before.

    [–]Chitinaz 3 points4 points  (4 children)

    Not sure why you're getting downvoted. I haven't used shampoo in 8 years. I just use a brush to massage my scalp when i'm in the shower and it works great. When I used shampoo my hair was more oily and incredibly unmanageable.

    [–]dpgtfc 2 points3 points  (3 children)

    My wife has been using baking soda/water mix and apple cider vinegar for years now, she's a huge clean freak in just about all areas. She's not like alternative, hippy or anything. Professional career woman. I think people think it's just the friend folk, but whatever, that's not true at all.

    [–]SpartanRage117 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    If you use a homemade mixture to clean your hair is it really the same thing as not shampooing? Sounds like she just didn't like commercial shampoo options for some reason or another.

    [–]Animalex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    I mean technically shampoo has soap or a detergent in it, which actively strips oils from your hair. Baking soda is just a pile of gritty basic bits that give off CO2. It cleans in a much more mechanical way.

    [–]Chitinaz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Yeah i'm not a hippie at all i just had more troube with shampoo and have been fine without it, no dandriff or anything. I use baking soda on my face.

    [–]AudioAssassyn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Late 20's, still feel confident with my scalp. Same. I'm at about 6in at the longest. I wash maybe once every few weeks. Warm water does it best. I get the most compliments when it's been about 2 weeks since any actual wash. It falls much more naturally too, shiny and healthy.

    [–]dead_indian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Same. I stopped using shampoo about 5 years ago and my hair is clean and not oily.

    [–]makenzie71 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I'm not even bald and I don't use shampoo. Bar soap for everything and occasionally conditioner.

    [–]aztek01 23 points24 points  (0 children)

    Gross, lol.

    [–]ragnarokda 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    I use body wash for everything.

    [–]Dabfo 0 points1 point  (0 children)


    [–]bald_and_nerdy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Nope, the same body wash/soap that I use on the rest of my body I use on my head.

    [–]oshawaguy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Yes, for the beard. Also, regular soap makes my scalp flaky. The more you know.........

    [–]Nosiege 466 points467 points  (80 children)

    Yea, no one as muscular in that picture would wish they didn't "have to" work out. They do it because they like it.

    [–]Holy5 62 points63 points  (21 children)

    Yeah I think the picture itself was on the right track, but the dialogue is probably wrong. I was talking to my sis about my goals and she said guys who get too serious about their shape act like they can't have one scoop of ice cream or a cookie.

    [–]turbozed 25 points26 points  (19 children)

    It's called "bigorexia" which is slangy for muscle dismoprhia. Ironically, people in a great shape with good musculature live lifestyles that allow them to eat a ton of junk and still have healthy biomarkers. So it's doubly stupid to work so hard and not take advantage of it. I ate two Blaze pizzas and a smores for dinner last night and felt zero guilt from it because I had just done a ton of squats and presses.

    [–]Furious_Hamster 5 points6 points  (5 children)

    First of all, this isn’t bigorexia.

    Second, just because you could eat junk food and still meet some baseline doesn’t mean you should. It’s not stupid to try and maintain your body and your performance at top levels. People just make the choice that those indulgences aren’t worth it for them, and it’s kinda dickish for you to call them stupid.

    Also, you realize that weightlifting doesn’t even burn that many calories, right? Two pizzas and s’mores probably stacked another 1500 calories. Are you fat?

    [–]rmphys 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    Lol, 1500 calories is nothing. If you are lifitng 5 times a week in your early twenties, many men can need upwards of 3k calories a day to gain mass. Shit, I know guys who use mass gainer just to get in some extra calories, because eating enough to gain can be annoying, but I personally try to avoid supplements.

    [–]casualescapism 21 points22 points  (1 child)

    It's never stupid to eat healthily.

    Although having said that when I was training for a marathon I would munch my way through so much shit. Good stuff too, but a lot of garbage thrown in there. I would eat until my stomach was full, but I did not actually feel full. We're talking 40 minutes of straight eating, and in the morning I would do it again. In the end someone still mentioned that I had lost weight (but to be fair that could've been placebo). Training for a marathon was tough but I miss the near infinite eating, even if it got a tad expensive.

    If I run a marathon again I'll probably stay with my parents so I can eat infinite of my mums cooking.

    [–]bloodnickel 13 points14 points  (0 children)

    He didn’t say it was stupid to eat healthy.

    You can eat healthy and still indulge... healthily.

    [–]chosenone1242 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    It's called "bigorexia" which is slangy for muscle dismoprhia.

    Not eating junkfood/candy because you want a certain bodytype isn't bigorexia.

    [–]INTHEMIDSTOFLIONS 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Depends on your results. You can’t eat like shot if you’re training for bodybuilding competition.

    Just because you won’t get fat doesn’t mean you won’t look your best.

    [–]Sean13banger 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I lift to make my life better, i don’t live to make my lifts better.

    I have to remind myself of this when I want chocolate or pizza after eating nothing but chicken, rice, and broccoli for weeks straight.

    [–]turbozed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    It's a balance. Feeling great all the time because you're body and brain is running in peak condition on optimal nutrition is so much better imo than trying to chase mouth pleasure every meal like my "foody" friends. However, I don't think the body is so sensitive to empty foods where you'll feel a significant difference having a pizza or ice cream a couple times a week. Everyones body reacts differently though, and I know how much I can get away with after 10 years of experimenting.

    [–]YoungishGrasshopper 117 points118 points  (29 children)

    "wish I could be fat like that guy instead of having overcome the biggest hurdle which is motivating yourself to work out."

    Yeah, no one thinks that way

    [–]KingCowPlate[🍰] 38 points39 points  (18 children)

    And the rich guy thinks. I wish I was poor amd homeless so I know if my girlfriend really like me for me

    [–]ElectricRook1 20 points21 points  (14 children)

    Yeah but that's a real issue. Think about your life if you won the lottery today and had about $200M. You'd never be able to answer your door or phone again, there would be scammers lined up around the block. Does your old drinking buddy Earl hang out with you because you buy rounds, or because he still actually likes you. All the shit you two do buying each other rounds, helping each other move shit in your pickup (like bodies) is what bonds you together. What if you decide to go visit Europe, do you drag him along to share the experience, but does his job allow that much time off? If not, how do you show him pictures of shit you did in Italy, when all Earl can do is sit there and stew about not going to Italy. So Earl is not your friend anymore ... wanna know who is? Donald Trump! Yep, you're now in his class.

    [–]DaddyF4tS4ck 7 points8 points  (7 children)

    It's really not that hard to tell. Does said person ask for money, or only hang out with you if you're paying? Do they seem to have a problem if you ask them to foot the bill on something (that is obviously reasonably priced for them)?

    Guess what, not a person that's hanging around you because they don't like you.

    I also like that apparently the other guy can't be considered rich. Taking a girl out for a candle lite dinner at a fancy restaurant. How do we know she's not just with him for the comfortable life style? If she's not a 'looker' he just might be the best she can do?

    Getting into sketchier ground at this point.

    [–]SlashCo80 3 points4 points  (6 children)

    Let's be real, if an average friend knew you were rich he'd resent you expecting him to pay the bill, no matter what. Not decrying the misfortune of rich people here, but they absolutely do deal with a unique set of issues.

    [–]DaddyF4tS4ck 9 points10 points  (5 children)

    I've actually sort of fallen into this with friends of mine (1 who has become considerably more rich, the others being about a quarter my income), we've never had any issues making it work. Sure, myself or my more rich friend will absolutely cover things in certain situations, especially special outings. But if we're just going out to bar, you'll pay for your own. We didn't have any special sit down about it either. They've just never expected me to pay for them. That's because the last thing a friend wants to do, is make you think that you expect them to pay for them. That's what breaks up friendships.

    I think you're pushing your own views as general populous (and I am as a part as well) but to say everyone resents a rich friend and expects him to pay the bill? Well that's just silly really. Life really hasn't changed much for me either way, other than the obvious stress of not having to worry about my finiancial security (which is a big deal, and a major relief on my life, just doesn't have anything to deal with my interaction with my friends).

    [–]notabigmelvillecrowd 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    Honestly, I have a friend whose dad kind of fell ass backwards into over half a billion dollars, and he seems to get more and more sullen every year. I don't think it's awesome as people imagine it to be. It's really torn their family apart with resentment and animosity.

    [–]AnonTheTerrible 1 point2 points  (2 children)

    This is real even on a much smaller level. I'm from a very low-income area, and only lower-middle-class right now (but I'm only 20 so I'll take the small victory of being self-sufficient). One of my friends managed to get out and get a decent job, and he lost so many friends due to people constantly asking for money, and he's not even rich! Made me really appreciate my friendships, because I know nobody's hanging around me for the money.

    [–]SlashCo80 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Not poor, just average. And guys with money absolutely do wonder if their girlfriends love them for who they are, or are with them just for the money (and some of them don't wonder, they know with certainty.)

    [–]FGHIK 8 points9 points  (2 children)

    Fat? Dude wasn't fat, just not buff.

    [–]Obi-WanLebowski 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Literally thinner than an ice cream cone.

    [–]LissenToMehNow 13 points14 points  (6 children)

    Unless they are insecure and therefore try to keep a certain body shape.

    [–]INTHEMIDSTOFLIONS 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    You mean everyone?

    [–]YoungishGrasshopper 2 points3 points  (4 children)

    Then it's still a poor example because he's jealous of a guy looking into the gym wishing he was fit. Both feel the same way but one actually IS fit.

    [–]DistortoiseLP 6 points7 points  (7 children)

    I love working out but finding the time to do so in between the rest of my life can be a constant pain in the ass. My favourite time to go is Saturday night, which I have to change every time I make other plans then.

    [–]zebra-in-box 2 points3 points  (6 children)

    go in the morning then... everyone can find time for gym

    [–]YoungishGrasshopper 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Well, no not everyone. Not trying to make excuses as I do have the ability to and just don't, but I have 4 kids under 5yrs old and if I didn't have the ability to go to the gym during lunch I wouldn't have time. I simply wouldnt be able to get enough sleep if I woke up earlier, and while I sometimes hop on the exercise bike at home I have to constantly stop when there is a toddler head about to make contact with the moving pedal. Lol.

    [–]INTHEMIDSTOFLIONS 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    Exactly. That kind of dedication doesn’t come with absolute passion.

    [–]superjean10121 44 points45 points  (0 children)

    As a man losing his hair..... this really hurt my feelings lmao.

    [–]AnAngryPirate 34 points35 points  (3 children)

    I love how the rich guy is Ric Flair. WOOOOOO

    [–]Ariafel 5 points6 points  (0 children)


    [–]teh_blazerer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    Stylin and profilin

    [–]stretchcharge 1 point2 points  (0 children)


    [–]leonryan 33 points34 points  (3 children)

    i am all three guys on the left.

    [–]Icallbullcrappy 3 points4 points  (2 children)

    so you got the girl who loves you for who you are?

    [–]leonryan 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    all i can say for sure is she doesn't love me for my money.

    [–]Icallbullcrappy 3 points4 points  (0 children)

    maybe she loves you for them cute buns of yours ;)

    [–]Qyro 20 points21 points  (0 children)

    As a man bald before his 30s, fuck this comic strip. It’s too real.

    [–]electricfoxx 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    A poor guy can't get rich as easy as a rich guy can get poor.

    [–]probo1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Brewsters Millions

    [–]ArrowRobber 23 points24 points  (3 children)

    Guy with hair will wish he could grow a 'stache once he starts going bald. His curse is he can only grow scraggly beard and a weak 'stache, will never be able to accept the bald and take it all off.

    [–]Cresent_dragonwagon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

    I'm going bald and take it all off, I accept it fine it just looks like garbage when it gets too long

    [–]D9sinc 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I am also balding, but my beard and mustache game is on point. I still shave it all off though due to me hating my hair (on my head) and not liking how it looks when it grows out (I.E Curls at the end.)

    [–]ArrowRobber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

    Curly hair is already complicated when you still have a concave hairline, if it goes convex you know you're done for. I do not look forward to when shaving my head requires more maintenance than trimming g my beard.

    [–][deleted]  (12 children)


      [–]DistortoiseLP 12 points13 points  (11 children)

      Come on now, gym regulars aren't keen about lecturing strangers about anything, especially during their workout.

      [–]waltron1000 6 points7 points  (3 children)

      Thats why I choose to have no appreciable skills or value! Then if I get a girl, I know she can only like me for my personality!

      [–]dddddddbbbbbbb 1 point2 points  (2 children)

      But if your think your personality makes up for your lack of skills and value, do you really have any notable personality?

      [–]probo1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Shrödingers narcissism

      [–]waltron1000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Damn you got me. I need to decrease my personality asap

      [–]hitbytruck 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Thanks for making me sad

      [–]randomthug 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Fuck you

      [–]queen-of-green 25 points26 points  (5 children)

      I’ve been with my boyfriend since high school (13 years this June) and have witnessed his balding through the years as he used to have a full head of hair, but as we’ve watched each other age, I’ve always thought it improved his looks... not that they were lacking before at all of course, it’s just I’ve found my taste in men, in what I find “attractive”, shifts as I get older, so in my eyes, his bald greying self is the loviest it’s ever been

      [–]DrinksToExcess 9 points10 points  (2 children)

      You're a nice lady.

      [–]queen-of-green 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      life has been kind to me so it sort of comes easily

      [–]concernedcitizeness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      I'd rather be sad in a Mercedes than sad on a rusty bike.

      [–]Beardman_90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Well f*ck.

      [–]ammiebunni 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Yes or I get a cool hat, if you're a great thinker.

      [–]AFistFulOfRupees 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      I think bald guys look absolutely fine it's those horseshoe hair/friar tuck guys that need to rethink their lives.

      [–]dwellerofcubes 9 points10 points  (1 child)

      This verified shit is not remotely funny.

      [–]SoulAssasin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      Random question: are you bald?

      [–][deleted]  (2 children)


        [–]Icallbullcrappy 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        yeah, cause you can have hair implants done when you're rich :) Which begs the question, what is trump doing with that stupid rug?

        [–]zduny 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Probably got hair transplant when technology was still bad and got bad scars which he now hides with this haircut.

        [–]sixxspeed 14 points15 points  (0 children)

        Unless you’re bald

        [–]LameAss_McFartypants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Loved the joke, but cant stop looking at the scissor fingers

        [–]LiquidPerson 11 points12 points  (22 children)

        I like bald guys, they are so hot!

        [–]Radidactyl 121 points122 points  (13 children)

        [–]LiquidPerson 7 points8 points  (10 children)

        I don't wanna start a fight here. But I have a crush in chubby and/older men and women.

        [–]Radidactyl 5 points6 points  (2 children)


        [–]LiquidPerson 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        This cartoon is often used to instigate endless fights... Sorry if it was not your intention.

        [–]ONXwat 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        yeah, but people like you aren't common.

        [–]RVelts 1 point2 points  (1 child)


        [–]Airique 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        It’s a lot less work to have no hair, lol.

        I used to shave my head even though I’m not balding, and it makes showers go way faster, drying off afterwards much quicker, and worrying about your hair being styled just so is off the table completely. For the lazy person, very short buzzed hair is the way to go. Either that or dreadlocks, lol.

        [–]wolfereen 1 point2 points  (2 children)

        Im starting to get bald and im only 20. HELP!!!

        [–]thereverend666 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Where's the joke?


        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

        If youre that fit already you must enjoy what youre doing by now. Id argue someone who isnt fit might worry more while also struggling with self-esteem.

        Easy to find someone who loves you if youre rich, easier than if youre poor.

        [–]ElectricRook1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I'd say easy to find someone to screw you if you're rich.

        If you're poor, you are pretty certain she loves you for you.