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Once every 2-3 years? Lol I wish haha ha...ha... :(

77 points · 5 months ago

It's almost 2020, I need to hurry up or I'll miss my chance at scoring this decade.

Does it count if you think you scored, but the girl was so fat you hadden't quite made it in, then once you realized you went totally soft but then told her you prematured so she wouldn't kill herself?

Uh, sure. If you want to count it, it counts.

How do you make this shit up?

I don't :(

Would you be so kind and share your story with us?

Please don't.

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

Real life experience

Yes that counts. Been there, trust me it counts....

2 points · 5 months ago

God it wasn't until I read this that I realized it's the same for me.

Shit... Me too.

Wow you just ruined my day. And it's not even 7 am yet

I uh...do the sex quite often!

-7 points · 5 months ago(2 children)

Does it?

Newp

Joke's on them, I'm looking forward to my wizard powers.

2 points · 5 months ago

After awhile you give in, but end up getting divorce over it anyway.

27 year old virgin checking in here, you have absolutely no idea.

Ha! Loser. I've totally had the sex.. before.. all.. gettin' it up there. Or down there. Or.. you know.

15 points · 5 months ago

Is it true if you don't use it, you lose it?

I’m beginning to this so

what is english

What do mean you?

What mean do you?

I think so..... why just the other day I came across a penis alongside the road. Someone has paid the toll for their quest into wizardry.

🎶 Detachable peeenis 🎶

Wait.. is that a serious question?

That's in terms of blood flow, so yes, but this isn't about sex, this is about blood flow.

3 more years and you'll become a wizard.

25 here, maybe someday I'll be on your level!

28 points · 5 months ago

I'd kill for that kinda action...

I’d just kill for some action.

so get a ski mask and some gloves, go to the local place where teens bone in cars, kill the male, take his action.

4 points · 5 months ago

Nothing says romance like statutory.

18 is legal

Yea but the whole murder rape thing.... Not so legal

Ya, but can he jerk off with his hippo hands? Dont think so.

"hippo hands"???

He is a fucking rhino

29 points · 5 months ago

A hilarious mistake.

Only once every 2-3 years. The rest of the time he's a regular rhino.

They have pretty similar feet plus the alliteration makes the joke better. Explaining the joke actually makes it worse though so I'm not sure what I accomplished by telling you all this.

2 or 3 times! What is he, some sort of Cassanova?

How many levels of mean-spiritedness and pathetic perceptions of winning and losing does this entry have?

[deleted]
6 points · 5 months ago

HA! You are wrong!

I never mate!

My horns also line up in very much the same way.

I wish I got laid that often

Too close to home bro

That's racist

[deleted]
1 point · 5 months ago

Railing a bigass line of rhino horn makes it

all worth it hunny

Hey, at least people poach me for my horn.

But can they treat themselves nicely af? Cause we do.

Sounds ideal to me

Well, that makes me a wayy bigger loser than the rhino.

Only because their pregnancy last 14-17 months and the calves usually stick around for 2-4years after birth. Or is that elephants that do that?

That may be, but it's a better sex life than that of the northern white rhino.

Pretty sure they went extinct... Lonely Guys 1, Black Rhino 0...

Northern white, not black

Ha jokes on you I never mate!

Yet somehow losers aren’t on the verge of extinction.

And they are literally always horny, also like me.

And they are being poached to the brink of extinction. Sad.

those hairy ears are actually cute!

you cant be a fucking loser if you dont fuck

It’s also incredibly horny, as one can see.

The live like 16 years so they mate like 8 to 5 times more than me so op is kinda wrong

*6

[deleted]
1 point · 5 months ago

Jokes on you. I mate once in a decade.... on average.

That feeling when a rhino gets more action than i do :(

[deleted]
1 point · 5 months ago

Spends majority of its adult life alone

Man, that sounds like a dream

At least I aint black though! /s

I have read about rhinos that require darkness to mate. Looking at that picture, it makes sense.

It’s only funny if it’s not true!

How did you know? :(

it is once

[deleted]
1 point · 5 months ago

Truth in humor.

Fucking amateur.

But everyone still wants his horn.

It's been two years since I hooked up with my ex. This hits too close to home. Oh well. At least maybe it means I'll get laid again...soon?

Jokes on him he's extinct.

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