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Saw this at the Roost in Chicago

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3.4k points · 11 days ago

"You should show everyone in the bar how great you sing and dance"

-vodka

It’s called liquid courage for a reason

Because it's a liquid?

yes

Science is fascinating.

66 points · 11 days ago

But has it gone too far?

Nah, text #13 has got to be the lucky one.

The lucky one is the ugly person drinking cranberry and water all night waiting for everyone else to lower their standards.

I think they call them rapists now.

This is a point of political weirdness for me.

There was always an unwritten rule that you don't have sex with someone who is emotionally over the line or intoxicatedly over the line.

But getting a little liquid courage to "do the deed" was quite standard. As was regret. Because of the Bible, or your mother, or the talk of the town, or whatever.

But you know if you did it willingly and you just... IDK, owned up.

All this talk of "I was three beers deep and regret what happened" and that's rape has me very worried about how you all are going to handle things.

A person who's passed out can not give consent, but someone who makes questionable choices while drunk... maybe that's why thy got drunk? I'm glad I don't have to deal with it because I'm married and If that changes (knock on wood it won't) the people I'll be dating will hold the same values as me.

Same. I had loads of drunk sex I would not have had sober and I regret none of it. One of them I got to know properly later and is now my husband. Obviously I’m with you on the don’t touch the unconscious - apparently needs saying, sadly. I suspect (and hope) it’s not really that much more terrible and confusing out there now, than a decade or 2 or 3 ago. We only hear about horrible cases, or bad attempts at rules about it.

I agree. There is a huge difference between "I was drunk and didn't think" and "I was so drunk I was able to make a coherent sentence, let alone understand what I was being asked". If you think the person is too drunk to give you a blowjob, then that person is too drunk to fuck.

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Get off Reddit, Mom.

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I wanna bang roseanne.

I don’t think my liver could handle the amount of alcohol it would require for me to lower my standards enough to want to bang Roseanne.

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It's also a Fluid

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Yea, it’s also called idiot juice for a reason too

also

idiot

too

You played yaself

Why do you think there is a problem here, u/SteamandDream? u/larrydocsportello is responding to a comment by u/PM_NUDES_4_AVG_HAIKU which uses the phrase "for a reason": the former's "too" refers to that, while his "also" refers to its being called "idiot juice" in addition to its being called "liquid courage". Totally straightforward: nothing to see here; move along.

18 points · 11 days ago · edited 11 days ago

I’m so confused

Edit: yo wtf is this comment chain

Shh bby

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3 points · 11 days ago · edited 8 days ago

Because cour means heart. And age means how old you are.

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102 points · 11 days ago

I drink a lot of vodka and this is why my main credo is No Karaoke ever.

You should try it, karaoke black out nights lead to poon and greatness. I thought everybody knew this. Sing war pigs and the tails gather like curly fries.

Yo real talk. The confidence and charisma it takes to go up on stage and make a fool of yourself makes it so much easier to get laid (provided you follow the two rules). All you need to do is pick a song everybody knows and have fun with it (a lot of songs will get everybody singing which can mask if you're not great at singing). Sing and dance and don't care what anybody thinks, and you're golden.

I thought the two rules were 1) be attractive and 2) don't be not attractive.

43 points · 11 days ago

He was talking about subset B. The rules you stated are subset A and most always be included before applying subset B. B rules are bonuses but not necessarily required to achieve your goal if you already possess the qualification for subset A.

Yes, because the only people who have ever had sex are conventionally attractive people.

And this brings us back to hard liquor.

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They're not saying that the two rules are to do that stuff, they're saying that if you do rules 1 and 2 plus that stuff you'll get laid.

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All the

Small things

Truth cares

Truth brings

Excellent choice. A lot of Blink-182 would go over well. All The Small Things, What’s My Age Again, First Date, etc.

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Sing and dance and don't care what anybody thinks, and you're golden.

This will work for every aspect of life. Not just Karaoke.

15 points · 11 days ago

pick a song everybody knows and have fun with it

Making my way downtown walking fast

Faces pass and I'm home bound

Good choice, honestly. If you’re like me and can’t sing worth a damn, the more embarrassing and funny the choice, the better. And a song like that would be great.

3 points · 10 days ago

I can't carry a tune to save my life, but I will 100% sell this song with more energy and enthusiasm than Terry Crews, but I can't promise I will know the words to this song like that legend does.

Can almost guarantee if you do that song and make it fun you'll get laid.

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Wait really? I'm about to try this. I'm pretty confident in myself but hate getting on stage. Maybe it'll finally cure my stage fright with a little alcohol.

Alcohol helps a ton. Also don’t be the first one up there. Wait a bit. It’ll give you a feel for what songs go over well (because this varies based on the crowd) and everybody will be more drunk which lowers the pressure.

But yeah, dude. There’s a certain charm about somebody who isn’t afraid to make a fool of themselves in public. It’s like the ultimate confident move, both guys and girls alike. But I’ll mention, there’s a difference between making a fool of yourself when it’s super fun (like Karaoke) and cringe-worthy making a fool of yourself.

Haha, no doubt! I saw a guy I had just met sing Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons very, very well. And even though I'm straight and not a fan of their music, I suddenly found that guy very attractive LOL.

I mean dude was seriously talented though.

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An alternative approach, for any man who wants to live life a little closer to the edge, is to pick 'Dance With The Devil' by Immortal Technique, and rap it whilst staring intently and with as few blinks as possible at the woman/man/object you're intending to seduce (the fact that you are able to stare in this way, without looking at the lyrics, demonstrates that you've already memorised them - a robust indicator of your dedication and strength of character), keeping your face expressionless and stroking your penis rhythmically through your trousers - increasing in grip strength and extent of stroke, though not in velocity, as the track approaches its climax.

That’ll get the panties droppin

Life’s been good by Joe Walsh is my go to.

A) the original song sounds drunken and slurred

B) it’s got a long guitar solo you can air guitar to

My people. Hai guys.

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Haha I like your style maaaan

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Funny you say that because a friend’s favorite karaoke song is War Pigs.

“Just like witches at black masses...”

Don't tell me this. My boyfriend's go-to karaoke song is despacito (played out song that everybody hates, I know,) but he looks damn good singing it. He can sing the whole damn song, both English and Spanish parts, without looking at the screen. He's latino, tall, and fit. I've had women look at me with absolute envy when he sets the microphone down and walks over to kiss me. He went to karaoke tonight without me because I didn't feel like going out. Sure, I want him to have fun with his friends, I trust him, but it's weird to know how jazzed up other chicks get by watching my boyfriend at karaoke.

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Huh. I do a lot of karaoke and my main credo is No Shots ever (in front of other people).

I will get up in front of hundreds or thousands and belt out some embarrassing Disney duet, but the only time I will ever drink is alone in my apartment when I know for a fact that no one will need me the rest of the day. (I work at a TV station and can get called in if something blows up - sometimes literally - and so drinking is generally not a great idea.)

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"Go eat that dude's face."

- bath salts

43 points · 11 days ago

"Every light is green, it's your lucky day!"

-absinthe

Also get a better gun holster

-That FBI guy probably

16 points · 11 days ago · edited 10 days ago

“Go head, tell Susan from work that you’ve been dying to

fuck her for the last 8 months. I’m sure she won’t get upset.” - Tequila

“Tell everyone ur political beliefs and

opinions hoping to sway people’s minds. I’m sure They won’t mind.” -Scotch

“Do that backflip you used to be able to do in high school.” -Craft Beer

'You shouldn't go out everyone's looking at you. You're a piece of shit'

  • Anxiety and depression

The thing I like to remember is they aren't so great either.

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Ran out of N's, eh

389 points · 11 days ago

Indeed, but U's are cheap

129 points · 11 days ago

Not if you're playing Wheel of Fortune

Whl f frtn

Vwls r xpnsv

Hw cn stll rd ths?

lmf

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19 points · 11 days ago · edited 10 days ago

The answer is never RL Stine...

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The E in text is also upside down. Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, yup can’t stop thinking about it.

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Found the Canadian.

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501 points · 11 days ago

"Yeah, that guy with his back to you who brushed by your jacket on the way to the restroom half an hour ago IS looking at you funny." - Whiskey

164 points · 11 days ago

Grandpa:

I don't drink whiskey any more.

Grandson: Why's that?

Grandpa: It makes my knuckles bleed.

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40 points · 10 days ago

"Tonight's the night you fight your dad." - Malört

Mmmm tastes like I drank a pine cone extract

/everyone should try Mallört

/s

?

You know that feeling when you throw up in your mouth a little, but not enough to actually throw up? That’s what Mallort tastes like. It tastes like bile.

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“You should fight that guy. He’s only got 50 pounds on you. You’ll be faster. You can take him.” - Jack Daniels

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149 points · 11 days ago

For those that haven't had the pleasure of hearing Jim Breuer's standup bit about "The Party", this seems like the appropriate place to share it. Tequila never shows up alone.

Great bit.

I enjoyed that thanks

I remember watching that live one Saturday. I sensed it would be a classic.

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571 points · 11 days ago

[tips fedora and clears throat nervously] h-hey... [looks down nervously] I am just checking to make sure my other 11 texts went through...

I’m worried about you, are you ok?

Fine then bitch. You're ugly anyway.

Slut

Lol! But seriously, are you up?

65 points · 11 days ago

Feminism is a plague on society

That was just my friend. He took my phone. So... what’s up?

42 points · 11 days ago

Send nudes. Just kidding that was my friend.

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47 points · 11 days ago

open bob

Show vagene

Open cloth

Show undi

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Sorry, just got your text. What's up?

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I’ve sent this once, and my gut was right. She was cheating on me.

10 points · 11 days ago

"You can also call at 3am to check whats going on" -Beer

Serious:

I’ve seen variations of this in memes and such...is this how kids talk to the opposite sex (typically male to female) now? Or is this a sort of niche thing just for the Internet lols?

14 points · 11 days ago · edited 9 days ago

Internet lols for the most part. But don't worry, there's a greasy grain of truth to every neckbeard meme.

It a reference to the neckbeard lifestyle. Guys who fancy themselves gentleman might use this type of language to woo women and are unaware that it has the opposite effect. Anyone who has any social awareness would not talk that way.

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247 points · 11 days ago · edited 10 days ago

Hi I’m one of the back kitchen cooks at this restaurant AMA

For real I died when I saw this, I can contest tequila went into the making of this

114 points · 11 days ago

Why did you not invest in another N

81 points · 11 days ago · edited 10 days ago

Our letter budget has been kind of slim this season, restaurant always be needing other stuff

19 points · 10 days ago

Stupid food

people keep eating the ones they’ve got!

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Hi fellow employee. This is other fellow employee.

52 points · 10 days ago

Good day other employee. Looking forward to our shift tomorrow

41 points · 10 days ago

Finding Redditors in real life? You two are living on the edge.

Its going to be fanchickentastic

You guys hooking up?

22 points · 10 days ago

Now kith

Hi current employees I am old employee (the place looks great i'm craving some Nashville)

This looks like a small place, what are the odds?

You guys are on Irving Park right? I love your chicken. A plus work.

27 points · 11 days ago

Yep :) cheers we’re glad you like it

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Compared to Parsons or Harold's how would you describe your chicken? I'm a fried chicken fiend

19 points · 10 days ago

Parson’s and Harold’s have great Chicago style friend chicken. Ours is Nashville style so its a little different, but both are good in their own ways. I’m a fried chicken fiend too that’s why I work there ;)

3 points · 10 days ago

Roost best Chicken sandy in the city, not even close. Nashville hot on brioche every Friday for me.

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Thank you for doing what you do. I work nearby and the chicken is so damn juicy. Love the new addition!!!

👋

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105 points · 11 days ago

"Your cousin will never turn down your sexual advances again."

-Moonshine

Roll Tide!!!*

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308 points · 11 days ago

Hi rsddit

145 points · 11 days ago

How u doin??

167 points · 11 days ago

Sorry i misspelled reddit

147 points · 11 days ago

Please answer already

135 points · 11 days ago

k dont care

138 points · 11 days ago

I do care, I love you reddit.

118 points · 11 days ago

Soz

145 points · 11 days ago

I saw a pigeon that looked like kirk Douglas today

132 points · 11 days ago

It may have been Michael, I can never remember which is which

129 points · 11 days ago

Not even 1 upvote reddit

These last two really made my night. Thanks internet bro

do you really love me tho

edit: why are u ignoring me adam

edit2: stop ignoring me

edit3: i love you

edit4: why wont you respond

edit5: love me

edit6: f*** you fat cunt

checkin in at 6 edits, i wanna see where this goes

luv 5evr

"How many N's did you add in there?"
"I'll be honest: it's a dry month. We'll dump a garbage-bag of U's in to make it up."

“Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

48 points · 11 days ago

-- Abraham Lincoln

This one's for you Abraham Lincoln!

~michael scott

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-Conan O'Brien

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Great Spicy chicken sandwich. The peach cobbler is pretty damn tasty as well.

45 points · 11 days ago

Best fried chicken in Chicago.

31 points · 11 days ago

Debatable.

It's definitely a contender but Crisp, Leghorn and Parson's are all in the mix.

Just hit up 'Lucy's' on California today. Definitely in the running. While I wouldn't say its "spicy" their chicken sand is delicious and a huge portion. (They Started as a food truck)

6 points · 11 days ago

It's funny I forgot to mention them because I live right around the corner. I went their opening day and got a free mini chicken sandwich and it was solid. Gotta go back for the full thing.

The porky fries are delicious as well.

I used to run a chicago food truck and would always trade them when we were nearby. Was stoked to see a price drop (between the truck and the restaurant) while still maintaining the massive size of the sandwich. Loved the serve yourself garlic aoili on the counter! I'll be back Damian, Damn you!

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Crisp is so damn good. I don't understand the Person's love at all, but I do love Roost. Now Leghorn is on the list I guess. Also don't understand the love for Gus' - everything is just boring and cheap feeling/tasting to me.

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Budlong ain't no slouch.

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27 points · 11 days ago

All you hipster’s sleepin on Harold’s. Smh.

7 points · 11 days ago · edited 10 days ago

I could see Harold's being good if you're in the mood, but it's not my favorite style of fried chicken. It often comes out way too greasy and not crispy. Also could be that it varies between stores and staff and my level of sobriety.

3 points · 11 days ago

Chicago fried chicken vs Nashville. Different appreciations.

don’t get me wrong, i love me some harold’s just like the next guy. but if you’re tryna even compare the roost and harold’s, you crazy

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5 points · 11 days ago

First time I came here was after my first physical after 20ish years...

I liked it so much I bought my brother the next day. Now we go every other week.

We were considered regulars on our second visit and I love the place.

Came here for this comment. Second to none in the Chicago Fried Chicken Scene.

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Their biscuits are also very good!

Their Nashville hot sandwich is bomb.com

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Cobbler...definitely gonna go eat some of that soon.

peach cobbler......the pie that has the most sugar.

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How's she going to know that you don't mind she's not texting back unless you send another text?

Exactly. Keep texting her until she replies with "Unsubscribe"

Exactly, and if she doesn't she's obviously enjoying your endless texts.

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On the flip side,

Michael: I didn't get both of your messages

Thanks now I want a Nashville hot.

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This hits to close to home

54 points · 11 days ago

It’s funny because it’s true.

I’m currently on 7 unanswered texts, pls advice on next move

STOP IGNORING ME!

All caps really sells it. Feel free to add more exclamation marks if you'd like.

Send 7 more.

Time for dick pics.

Be sure to take them right at the bar too.

Dick pic or a mirror pic with tooth paste all over it

3 points · 10 days ago

I’m going to be creative and suggest an 8th

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You can tell it’s an aspen because of how it is.

That's pretty neat

That was pretty neat.

Hopefully not you shouldn't have gotten to three lol

69 wrote that

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9 points · 11 days ago

"Don't be shy, go sit in that upside down plastic ice cream bucket that you know for sure won't hold your ass up"

Yours truly, Vodka and Tequila.

get this catered to work every thursday, the dankest fried chicken in the city no joke.

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This made me defensive.

Lol i live right next door to the roost. Love that place. Come say hi! Haha

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As someone who just got ghosted this hits hard however it made me chuckle so I've got that working for me!

Which is nice.

I don’t need tequila to do that

this place is fire

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6 points · 11 days ago

For the record, The Roost is fucking delicious. Some of the best fried chicken I've ever had. Just make sure you go to this location, the one on Irving Park Rd. The other one closer to downtown is a joke, and not nearly as good.

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What happened to all their letter Ns?

The food here is awesome too.

But for real this place has out of control chicken biscuit sandwiches

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Ooh, I want to sit in on a conversation between tequila and vodka. It would be life changing (i.e. stitches/scars)

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Right in the feels...

Did they run out of N's?

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Said wasted me, at 4 am.

LOVE this place!

"Time to get f***ed up" - Absinthe

How do u know the 12th will be unanswered too?

The roost is so good

3 points · 11 days ago

Look at how shiny that spiral duct is! -an HVAC technician

The Roost is fantastic chicken, and their boozy shakes are 10/10.

It's only ruined a handful of relationships and burnt a few bridges sure...

I was ambien texting

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Tequila totally gets me.

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