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36.1k

Explain THIS one Ubisoft.

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Santa Claus: Origins

1.1k points·4 months ago

Someone make Santa Simulator please, I would play the shit out of it

Dude what if you had to sneak around the house as santa clause and determine if the kid is nauty or nice by the clues in their room and what not. I'd play that

Wtf, you know nothing of Santa lore? Santa knows what he knows because he has elite teams of elves performing year around recon.

Tie that into the game and then let Christmas eve be the final boss.

North Pole Six: Siege

Can't wait to breach kids rooms in an elf team recon.

Time to fuze the kids room

Hostage extraction K̵̡̟͉̫͙̹̩̱̣͖̥͐̈́ͫ̒ͨ͊ͫ̽͆͌̎̅͑ͯ͗́̚Í͆̅ͬ̌̔͐̀̚͏̸̭͕̭̱̼̖͢L̸̳̥̮̻͚̝̞ͪ́̃̌̾́ͩ͋̓̓͐ͦ͂ͬͣ́̚L͌ͯ̒ͪ̾҉͢҉̴̶͈̳̫̹̥͙̹ team

K̵̡̟͉̫͙̹̩̱̣͖̥͐̈́ͫ̒ͨ͊ͫ̽͆͌̎̅͑ͯ͗́̚Í͆̅ͬ̌̔͐̀̚͏̸̭͕̭̱̼̖͢L̸̳̥̮̻͚̝̞ͪ́̃̌̾́ͩ͋̓̓͐ͦ͂ͬͣ́̚L͌ͯ̒ͪ̾҉͢҉̴̶͈̳̫̹̥͙̹ K̵̡̟͉̫͙̹̩̱̣͖̥͐̈́ͫ̒ͨ͊ͫ̽͆͌̎̅͑ͯ͗́̚Í͆̅ͬ̌̔͐̀̚͏̸̭͕̭̱̼̖͢L̸̳̥̮̻͚̝̞ͪ́̃̌̾́ͩ͋̓̓͐ͦ͂ͬͣ́̚L͌ͯ̒ͪ̾҉͢҉̴̶͈̳̫̹̥͙̹ K̵̡̟͉̫͙̹̩̱̣͖̥͐̈́ͫ̒ͨ͊ͫ̽͆͌̎̅͑ͯ͗́̚Í͆̅ͬ̌̔͐̀̚͏̸̭͕̭̱̼̖͢L̸̳̥̮̻͚̝̞ͪ́̃̌̾́ͩ͋̓̓͐ͦ͂ͬͣ́̚L͌ͯ̒ͪ̾҉͢҉̴̶͈̳̫̹̥͙̹ ???

Comment deleted4 months ago(4 children)

reinforces room and adds armor panels to the windows

We're all safe here now!

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DONT REINFORCE KIDS BEDROOM

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A big fuckin present coming right up

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Where's the Kickstarter?? I'm down.

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No. He sees you when you're sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows when you've been bad or good So be good for goodness sake!

He knows when you've been slacking

He knows when you are late

He even provides an audience

for when you masturbate

See, he watches you when you are sleeping, but he is merely aware of you when you are awake. His monitoring is ineffective during your waking hours.

That means his monitoring system is triggered by biochemical differences between a sleeping and waking state.

If we can drug ourselves to the point we do not register as being awake but are also not asleep, Santa will be unable to see or know our status.

Man, if you wanted a hit, all you had to do was ask.

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Or because some guy is watching you sleep. Maybe be good because of that.

Jokes on you, some of us get off on that.

Welcome to the naughty list

HOE HOE HOE! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

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If Santa knows all of this, then he knew that those reindeer were picking on Rudolph, and he didn’t do a single thing about it.

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Now give me a game that has Santa's evil-half and you're trying to stop him by deciphering these naughty/nice clues because evil Santa (I'm blanking on his name) stole the naughty/nice list in an effort to make Santa a fool and so that he could take as many children away in his bag (lore) that he wants since he decides who is naughty.

It could either be comical dark like Cuphead, or true to lore dark like The Witcher.

I'd play the fuck out of that.

You're talking about the Krampus.

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[deleted]
7 points·4 months ago

The irony is that Santa Claus was not a lie but his lore may have been exaggerated a bit. He has to figure out by doing an aura reading and checking for clues. Aura readings cost him mana and if Santa runs out of Mana he can't fly the next destination. He may have to run through the neighborhood to get to the next house. Also he has to do a B&E to get in the house if there is no chimney.

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Santa's Creed. You have to sneak into houses without being detected and as you go through the christmas night, you get more elaborate houses with people being awake and moving around and shit.

Get 100% completion in Santa mode to unlock Krampus mode.

Ha! It's 2018, more like Get the Krampus DLC if you pre-order the gold edition or buy it for only £9.99

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The game starts in Asia in small apartments, progresses to Europe with slightly larger homes, moves to the U.S. with larger and more varied home types, with the endgame in Hollywood with ridiculous mansions.

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And name it NP(North Pole) Noire?

Red Sled Redemption

Just Clause

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Throw some base building in there - gotta build toy factories, hire (breed? spawn? summon?) elves, develop logistics for receiving letters....

So basically Santa Claus meets Hello Neighbor

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As long as you could go all Krampus on those on the naughty list

That's the DLC

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Already done in VR my friend. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KO27M9rG3bw

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[deleted]
8 points·4 months ago

I would play the fucking shit out of it.

Assassin's Creed: Ornaments

Basically 3d paperboy.

I honestly can't believe that isn't a thing already. I'd totally buy it.

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Assassin's Claus

Ho ho holy shit a cliff!

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It’s the Apollo DLC

Apollo's Creed? Sounds like a boxing game.

Apollo's Creed. Sounds like a religious thing.

Apollo's Creed, heh. It sounds like hhhe..it sahh...hhe..isiss hhmm...hhh..its ahhh...Haha....nnnggg...hhh..hmmm...hmmmm...ahem....hhh...h ... .... hhh...

Anyone else smell burnt toast?

Yes, but the new toaster is a lot hotter than the old one.

Just microwave it

off to olive garden? got it.

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But Obama will know...

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That's not smoke, it's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we'll be having

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I thought you were great in Thor Ragnarok, Mr. Goldblum.

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Apollo’s Creed? Sounds like a space thing.

Apollo's Creed? Sounds like a Greek mythology thing.

Apollo's Creed? Sounds like a Geek Methodology thing.

Apollo's Creed? Sounds like a Greek Methodist Church thing.

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no no thats Apoll's Steed....

Atoll’s Speed. Sounds like a drug thing...

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This is a Helios house. GET OUT!

But Apollo's chariot is what Helios uses to cross the sky.

Chariot of the gods I see...

Does it comes in lootboxes?

I come in lootboxes

"I cum in lootboxes"


FTFY

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Finally the Assassin's Creed/God of War crossover we've been waiting for!

Fate/Stay Night

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No, its Bayek's Noble Phantasm

An anti-personnel type Noble Phantasm; how unfortunate...

Bayek does look a lot like Iscandar in this gif.

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r/smite Apollo with the ultimate!

There are dozens of us!

Egyptian santa

Helios, not Apollo drives the chariot of the sun

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NOW THIS IS POD-RACING

My altitude has doubled since we last met

Good. Twice the ascension. Double the fall.

Yep.

This is getting out of hand, now there are two of them!

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I'll try spinning, that's a good trick.

Hello there...

GENERAL BAYEK

Twice the lift, double the fall

Its working... Its working!

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Hot damn. I am trying not to laugh in the staff toilets.

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If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour...

you're gonna see some serious shit.

Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads.

I mean, we'll still be able to see them under us, but we won't need them.

God help us. Nowhere will be safe from the old people. Sittin’ in your fifth floor office, just chillin’? HERE’SSSS GRANDPA!

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I've found a value to convert:

  • 88.0mp/h is equal to 141.62km/h

155 points·4 months ago

Doesn't really have the same ring to it.

The ring must be destroyed.

One ring to it to rule them all

YOUUUUUU SHALL NOT PAAAAAASSSSS!

[Smites Bridge]

You destroyed the rainbow bridge!

Great now I'm last again

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Listen up, Legoland. I don't hail from the Kingdom of Jondor!

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Wow 88mph is much faster than I thought it was

I never realized it was 88 actual MILES per hour when i saw the movie as a kid, even though i kept hearing it over and over again i never stopped to think that mph is not the same as kmph.

so always thought it was 'logical' the car was going kinda slow (relative to how crazy time travel is) because it was the 80's so cars did not have the potency they have today, or so was my thought process lol.

ITT euros are as clueless about mph as muricans are about kmph

If anything, 80s cars are more powerful before the 90s pollution regulations slowed and safety them.

Fuel injection makes up for a lot. A 30 mpg car is much more powerful now than it was back then.

Sorry but the clean air act of 1970 and the OPEC oil crisis in 1973 led to the death of the muscle car and subsequent watering down of horsepower of mid-late 70's through late 80's vehicles. After the fall of the soviet union and a general downtrend in gas prices, horsepower started to really pick back up in vehicles.

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As soon as it took off, the Back to the Future theme popped into my head. Beautiful.

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Those are North Pole horses

You mean reindeer?

No grandma, I don't mean rain, I mean North Pole horses. Are you even paying attention?

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You joined the Wild Hunt. Duh.

Yeah that makes this seem way cooler.

Let me get my motorcycle.

Who downvotes a perfectly good Dresden reference?

Red court members.

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It's always interesting to see a Dresden reference in the wild.

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They already mentioned Santa.

685 points·4 months ago·edited 4 months ago

Is that a bug or feature? Edit: I'm referencing a incident with Bethesda, stop wondering if I'm serious

827 points·4 months ago

Yes

But

Shhhh bby, is okay

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It's either a bugged feature or a featured bug

Bug trackers really should have a rating system.

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It’s a matter of perspective

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ubisoft always have the best bugs

After you buy the bugs and glitches DLC

Isn't that EA?

No, it's Bethesda.

No, Bethesda isn't riddled with microtransactions they include the bugs for free.

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Yes

Yes

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What happened when you dismounted?

Original Poster830 points·4 months ago

I rode around like that for awhile till I got bored and when I dismounted I stayed up in the air for a good two seconds before I plummeted to my death.

Shoulda headed for the pyramids and skipped that annoying climb.

I liked the climb. Only part of the game that resembles the old games climbing.

210 points·4 months ago

One of the things that I noticed was really different. Very little time spent trying to figure out how to get to the top of stuff in Origins.

It's nice saving time, but I just don't get that same sense of pride and accomplishment^^^^TM

I’m glad I’m not the only one, other games could be a pain sometimes but this one is easy to climb up tall shit

Seriously. Looks like a regular wall with no handholds anywhere? Eh, just run at it and up goes Bayek.

Except those random walls where he does in fact have to run at the wall 2 feet to the left.

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Meh, climbing those first cathedrals in AC1 was awesome because you were trying to find handholds and routes up buildings. Thai climb was essentially looking for very obvious cracks on a giant plane of stone with no interesting features beyond the cracks themselves.

Sooo, you're saying you loved climbing the Santa Maria Del Fiore church in AC2?

Il Duomo was my favorite

Yes, and I was hoping the pyramid tombs would have something on a similar scale. The one place way out in the desert in the south is probably the closest.

The lighthouse in Alexandria felt very AC2 as well. You can also do rooftops in the cities - though it looks a lot different

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Seems fine to me, I assume the horses didn't look down when they went off the ledge.

Wile E. Coyote could learn a lot from them.

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Just like the Coyote chasing Roadrunner. You run off a cliff and gravity doesn't work until you (the character) notice it.

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The pioneers used to fly these things for miles.

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Came for this. Left satisfied.

Yippie ai oooooooh

Yippie ai ayyayyyayy

Came for this too. Surprised to find it so low. But satisfied.

Surprised to find it so low.

It's an old reference, but it checks out.

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On dasher, on dancer...

Did you at least deliver presents to the good boys and girls of Egypt or just death to your enemies?

There was a mix up, presents we're delivered to the enemies and death to the good boys and girls.

Not again...

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Your Rider, from the Fate series.

I'm disappointed that I had to scroll this far down to find this reference.

Iskandar, King of Conquerers and his Noble Phantasm the Gordius Wheel!

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I was hoping someone would mention this. I was not disappointed

I'm the same as all the other Fate watchers. First thing I thought of with this

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When you reach the end of a skill tree

I can show you the world Shining, shimmering splendid Tell me, princess, now when did You last let your heart decide!

FREE santa DLC and yet you still fucking complain.

Companies just can't win these days.

Anubis is calling for you.

Haven't you read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? Your horses forgot to fall.

Obviously an Animus glitch, just like all the others.

This guy doesn't break immersion until the DVD release.

What game is that?

Original Poster44 points·4 months ago

Assassins Creed: Origins

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Assassin's Creed: Apollo's Boogaloo

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You have ascended to become hermes

Psst. Apollo

Helios actually with the sun and chariot and what now.

Really depends on your pantheon.

Did you just assume my pantheon?

Single best quote ive ever seen

I'm more of a Braum player, myself.

Well shit you’re right. Shitty Apollo’s chariot not being an actual thing inn the mythology

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MY MANWICH

I can show you the world

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Fire Mares?

I can’t get that image out of my Krull

That's what I was looking for. The Krill reference.

Those horses could've flown anywhere. So they dropped them off at the bottom of the giant fortress.

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Everything is permitted.

TO VALHALLA!

Chitty Chitty Neigh Neigh

HO HO HO!!!

That’s the Santa Claus mod

You appear to require 3 more horsemen to bring about the apocolype

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Grant theft Olympus.

Have you never seen Krull. Some horses are so fast they can fly. https://youtu.be/3wJY4bd_M-w

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physics were still in early access for Ancient Egypt. Only countries who bought the season pass had the full physics DLC.

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One does not simply ride into Mordor...

Actually you probably could

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Always...... Be together........

What game is this btw?

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The original Chariot of the Gods...

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Whats the possible logic for this in terms of programming? Does the game assume that gravity isn't needed because it's on "land"?

You can't just apply normal physics to the cart because its footprint is too big and the ground isn't flat so it would look weird, and it's supposed to move differently from most other objects on the game, and maybe there were problems with getting caught on things. It looks like what they did instead was have it track the ground in front of it and tilt up and down to follow ground curvature, but upon encountering an unexpected cliff the behavior just fails leaving you traveling forward at the same angle indefinitely.

Cliff face was probably either too steep to trigger the change, or because it was so steep it got processed as 'this is a random object in the road so ignore it' and without any other data it never picks up on your airborneness

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