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Baby on the way, not sure of anything else

First obligatory I am on mobile so please excuse the format. A little background: I am from a small town in Wisconsin, a few years ago, my then boyfriend, and I decided to move in together. Which meant a long move to west coast Canada for me. We struggled financially as I did not apply for permanent residency prior to coming, so could not legally work in Canada. After a few months of hardship I took on a nannying position which helped some, but we still didn't accumulate much savings. Fast forward a year and a half of basically living pay check to pay check we decided I would move back home to work for a while, little did we know we would also be expecting a baby. So now I feel like I am on this timeline to get things prepared for my first little one to come. I have been home about a month, with no luck finding a job (have been applying since I got here). I have been thinking about moving back to the Twin Cities, where the job market is much better, minimum wage is higher, but it would also include rent. With literally $75 to my name right now I'm just really at a loss. I know it's not an option to feel sorry for myself, I have an obligation to fulfill, but I can't ignore this clock that seems to be ticking away at me. I am expecting at the end of June, and my husband is set to get here in March. He is Native American, if he enrolls full time he can get funding (including a living expense) from his band. I know I could apply for housing and such, what worries me is signing the affidavit of support and this impacting my ability to sponsor him to move down here. So I guess that's where I'm at. Is it worth staying with my parents rent free and waiting for something to come up or do I take the risk of moving knowing I can get a job over in the Cities? Thank you in advance for reading through my scattered thoughts and any advice you might have for me.

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4 points · 5 months ago

If he's Native American he may be able to qualify to move to the US without as much red tape.

Original Poster2 points · 5 months ago

Unfortunately he's not a full 50%

2 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

Then the affidavit of support issue is important, perhaps you can get someone else to sign one as well if you can't meet the income requirements on your own. I used to work in immigration law and feel that having competent assistance from a reputable legal aid organization is important as the paperwork can be complex and somewhat daunting. Here are some referrals to legal aid organizations in Wisconsin:

Original Poster3 points · 5 months ago

Oh my goodness that is so helpful, we went through a lot of trouble with the paper work in Canada. Thank you!

They may charge a fee for assistance but it would typically be sliding scale based on your income.

And the filing fees for the forms you will have to file are pretty steep.

Original Poster2 points · 5 months ago

Thank you for that info I'll be incontact with someone on Monday. I do know the filing fees are spendy, but I believe there is another form to have them waived, is it common to have that rejected?

Not sure how easy it is to get fee waivers, I haven't worked in the field for a long time and the fees were much more reasonable back then and I don't recall ever seeking a fee waiver for a client.

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

Well it's something I'll have to look into! I'm still hoping he can get in with his native heritage, as I read more into it, the green card requirement don't say anywhere he would have to get an actual blood quantum only to bring paper work proving his and his relatives tribal background which both his paternal grandparents (as well as his father) have.

What skills do you have? What kinds of jobs have you been applying for? Does your family support you and are they willing to continue helping you?

Original Poster2 points · 5 months ago

I've mainly worked in customer service, from food service to beauty consulting, and childcare. I was involved in the medical community as I went to school for nursing (did not graduate), but only volunteer-based stuff. I have been applying to grocery stores, local and chain restaurants, department stores, call centers, and health-care cooperatives. My family is as supportive as they can be! My parents recently went through a divorce last year and I am the oldest of 7 so there's lots going on, but they are willing to help me for as long as I need.

If you’re interested in the medical field it might be worth looking into being a CNA. It’s not super lucrative but I think it’s in high demand/has relatively low barrier to entry.

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

Once I have my babe that's definitely something I'll look into, thank you!

You have 6 months. Is there any reason you have to wait 6 months before "looking into it"? Take action now.

Original Poster0 points · 5 months ago

I am very aware of the duties of a CNA and what I am capable of. As I can definitely take action now, it's just not feasible for take on that specific role.

It's like a 4-6 week course, do it now, work for 4-5 months before having the baby.

3 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

Can you go back to school to get a certificate in child care/early childhood education? The pay is not great but you might be able to then find a position where you can bring your child to work with you for reduced cost and that will help keep expenses down. Or what about working in a hospital registering patients, your customer service and medical experience might make that a good fit and maybe at some point you can go back to school to finish the nursing degree.

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

I hadn't really thought of that, I will definitely look more into hospital positions and certificates at our local tech. Thank you so much!

Are you good with numbers, are you willing to learn code for computers? There is such a huge demanded for coding you no longer need a 4-year degree a community college will work fine. Nursing jobs are high demand that will almost guarantee a job that pays good. Take a test to find out what you are strong in, this will help you guide to a community college. A good trade pays good too, with some school or training you have a broad selection of jobs. That may require to relocate to a big city.

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

I am not too shabby with numbers and I love the thought of that! Thank you so much for the advise, I will inquire at our local tech and put some skills under my belt!

I wouldn't move without having a job lined up. Childcare and rent might be tough to meet in the Cities. You won't be able, or probably want to, work right away after the baby is born. Do you have heath insurance? Babies themselves don't have to cost all that much but the deductibles can hurt. If your partner can't move soon, can he send you some money? You are still young, I'd stay at home if you can. Moving with a two or three year old is much easier than an infant. Then maybe once you get into your parenting groove you can consider widening your search to other smaller cities in the upper Midwest where cost of living is lower. Sioux Falls has two large hospitals and lots of customer service positons, lots of daycares. Decent Native representation too if that makes any difference to you. There are some scattered thoughts back at you, best of luck!

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

Username 100% checks out! I have health insurance through my dad still and am currently looking into Medicaid as well. He can support me in small amounts but not a living sum. I would definitely prefer to stay in the Midwest and native representation is definitely a bonus; Sioux Falls sounds like a great option! Thank you, your words and effort mean so much!

Your dad's health insurance will not cover your child. Definitely look into Medicaid now, as having a child in the US without health insurance can be very expensive and set you back for years.

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

I have already started and submitted my application I'm only waiting for some letter they are to send me in the mail.

As long as your family is supportive, there's no way you should move away from them. You're going to need help with more than just rent. Babysitters, advice, general "mom" questions, and having someone to vent to will be super important for you. The fact that you can live there rent-free is a cherry on the top.

You should also investigate WIC to get assistance with food, vitamins, and other necessities for you and your baby. Go here, and follow the instructions in the "How can you apply" section. Or call them 24/7 at 1-800-722-2295.

Best of luck to you!

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

That makes a lot of sense, I will definitely stay put and combine the other advise that I've gotten and just keep at the grind. I will also look into applying for WIC. Thank you so much!

How old are you and your husband? What job skills does he have?

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

I am 21 and he is 26. He has worked in mining for a short while, but has stuck to sales and customer service since.

how far away are you from twin cities? Do you have access to a car?

I would figure that nowhere in Wisconsin is more than a few hours from twin cities, so perhaps its worth staying with your parents rent-free and applying for jobs in twin cities, driving there for the requisite interviews. I would also guess that if you're visibly pregnant, it might be hard to find work given that its wage labor and you'd be gone for some time once having the kid.

There's nothing wrong with staying with family. I'm a first generation American from South Asia, and where I'm from there is little stigma in staying with one's parents. You need structure and stability in order to find your footing and thrive, and if staying with your parents temporarily gives you that, then that's perfectly okay.

Original Poster1 point · 5 months ago

I only live an hour and half so commuting is possible. I could talk to my father about using a car which I don't think he'd argue about. I'm not besides looking a little chunky around my mid section but no baby bump yet. Which is why I feel like I need to get into a work place as soon as possible! Also I really can't thank you enough for saying that. It's always been hard for me to rely on others (even family) and to ask for help. Just having someone else say it's ok makes me feel so much better, so thank you again!

2 points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

No problem, glad I could help. I know physicians and scientists that spent years staying with their parents. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Good luck!

edit: I saw a few others recommend Sioux Falls. I've heard good things about that city, but if you stay with your folks (which I think would be wise), it would be a pretty long drive to get there for any interviews (unless people are willing to hire via phone/skype). I would stick to mainly searching for work in places you could daytrip to by car for interviews. The good news is that would involve Milwaukee and Madison, and even the Chicago metro area (which is stuffed with jobs, but is a very large city).

The cost of child birth alone is expensive. Do you have $10K + saved up for that?

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