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310

27.. have to move back with parents. Depressed as hell about it.

TLDR: Luck turned upside down, went from 50k in savings to being 5k+ in debt and now need to move back with parents. Feeling unmotivated and want to give up.

I currently work in IT as a network engineer barely stepping my foot into that role. I studied for my certifications and finally got the job which was 2 hours away from my parents house. (Where I lived at the time) My time there I was able to save a good 20k or so, sold my $500 car and bought one worth $25k which is now half paid off. Felt like I finally had things together and it was now time for me to move off on my own, so I did. When I said I had 20k saved, about 10k was profits from crypto, the other 10k was left in savings. (I was in it for quite a long time, so I was a pretty firm believer. I knew this ratio wasn't typical, but I figured my salary would only grow and now would be the time to invest strongly.)

Anyways, so I move around November, paying 1.1k/mo rent because of the area. Things are fine though, I have plenty in my savings, and could take some out of my crypto wallet if need be. Well, a little later the crypto market crashes, and I knew better than to hold as this definitely proved to be a bubble afterall, and sold. At that moment I had maybe 10k in savings from the loss, deposits, rent, and some furniture. The good news was that I would begin my new job that month, making 65k salary which was a huge leap for me, and the title alone would only help me obtain those type of jobs easier.

I never partied much and kept to myself, so I decided that I needed to get out more and I did. Got drunk, went to the casino, played some poker, drove home on the back roads drunk and got pulled over for a DUI. Yep, not one ticket my entire life and my dumbass decides to drive home drunk. What's even more embarrassing is that I didn't realize how big of a deal a DUI actually is. Once I found that out, I realized I needed to hire the best lawyer I could around this area, and did, for 4k. From the fees and all that about 5k was now subtracted from my savings, leaving me with 5k.

I start my new job, things are going well and it turns out they hired "too many" engineers. Myself and 3 others who had the least experience were let go 1 month into the job. Couple weeks later, my car gets broken into while I'm at some park. 1k in damages. Two months went by with me looking for jobs, and finally when one seemed they were going to hire me, I got turned down at the very end. Not sure what happened, I mean the basically told me I was hired and to expect a call. This past month I had to pay my rent/bills/payments with my CC and now I'm rushing to grab whatever job I can.

Needless to say, I'm now in debt, depressed and disappointed on how fast the world basically swallowed me up when I went out on my own. The crazy thing is, most would agree that I'm typically a pretty driven guy, but this shit has just crushed me and my self esteem. Part of me doesn't want to give up, and to grab a personal loan to consolidate debt and keep at it. The other part is saying to just move back with my parents, save up and start again but this time correctly. It just sucks because last time I saw them everyone was talking about how well I was doing, how I'm an engineer now, etc. If I move back I feel as though I'd be seen as a fuck up for being back at home at 27, since I already stayed there for so long before.

Edit*

Thank you all very much for these replies. You have no idea how much this helped in seeing the positives. To clear things up, I had around $50k before the car, and some other savings. Plan to sell it once it's fully paid off. Fell into "Well if I can get this for 5k I might as well get this for 7k" then 10k, then 12k, and that turned into me just getting a 5 year loan on a new car. Things were going well, the original amount I had in crypto ($1.6k got in when eth was $16) was up 10x or so and my career life felt like it was on a roll, got promoted 2 months into the job, noticed by the Sr. network engineer, passed my certs, and the future just kept looking bright. I didn't go out and do much, either worked, studied, or played games most days and when I did go out it was to camp. I rushed moving out because I was afraid of backing out, and knew life experiences was what I was lacking.. which I wasn't wrong, but I should've been smarter about it.

I figured that moving out would give me those life experiences, give me more opportunities to go out, and have freedom. How wrong I was though thinking that, especially with me being as unprepared as I was. Looking back now I could've easily taken some of that money and went on a vacation to get away and get out, plan things out a bit more, and not be so reckless once I did move out. I haven't told my parents yet, and honestly it's going to be difficult. My dad is pretty judging, and like anyone else all I want is to make my parents proud. Felt amazing to have my mom visit for mother's day, taking her out for dinner, and feeling like a man. To go back to her now asking for help letting her know I didn't make it does suck, but like many of you have suggested, it's also an opportunity.

So again, thank you for the stories, reminders, and suggestions, seriously.

400 comments
77% Upvoted
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level 1

Title says 50k in savings, story says 20k, but is actually 10k in savings...

I don’t know how you do your math dude, but damn.

level 2
[deleted]
235 points · 1 month ago(0 children)
level 2
375 points · 1 month ago

That's perfectly normal with crypto currencies.

level 3

Crypto crippled me and my brother's money. My brother went in $10k and now he is hovering around $1k. I am devastated for my brother. Crypto life has been hell.

level 4
91 points · 1 month ago

I don’t understand people thinking Crypto is an investment. It’s either gambling or you believe it is a currency you want but no place will accept it. Most likely gambling.

level 5

With crypto, you don't think in logic, you think in lambos. It's a new method of thinking; get with it.

level 5

It's like buying a bolivar (Venezuelan dollar) and expecting the price to shoot up to $20,000 US dollars per Venezuelan bolivar (dollar) or buying a dime and expecting the dime to be worth $1000 per dime in a year or two. People really think they are just going to magically purchase "dime" and "oh I'm telling you dimes are going to be worth millions one day I'm telling ya." Truth is it was a bubble. There was a time where people literally were selling daisies for THOUSANDS of dollars due to rich aristocrats making them "popular" or a "status symbol." Needless to say that became a bubble and now we sell daisies for like $2 dollars at Walmart or something. Ah yes... Bubbles. I'll stick to the ones that come in a bottle if anything. Everyone else can have fun with the market bubbles.

level 6

iirc it was tulips by the Dutch

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level 5

If BTC goes below $1k, I might buy a couple and forget about them for the next twenty years (i.e. lotto ticket that I am fully prepared to see go to zero). But yea, anybody who bought it while it was going parabolic late last year is a sucker.

level 6
10 points · 1 month ago

That thinking does not make much sense. Why did BTC gain so much in 2017? Because crypto went mainstream. That is not going to happen again - well it can't.

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level 4

That's gambling for you. Crypto is basically gambling. I'd rather invest. 25%+ gains last year. Want to say it was over 20% gains on average for the market last year and this year hasn't been horrible either. If you want to gamble only gamble with what you can absolutely afford to lose. If you want to invest, there is a proven method and market available out there. I'm personally not a gambler, but I am partial to investing. Sorry man, my Papa went through a gambling addiction.... Didn't end up well for him either.

Look on the bright side though, could of been worse. Just learn from it and try not let gambling get the best of you two. Good luck.

level 5

The S&P 500 was up about 22% last year. It’s only at about 3% this year so far. Not horrible but if this holds it will be the 3rd worst year in the 10 years since the 2008 recession.

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level 4

I'll bite. So what's all this talk for the last 8 years about cryptocurrency being the huge boom? If it's so good he should be steadily going up, how has he lost so much?

level 5

He bought in January. I don't even have to be the guy to know. Since January the bubble popped and many coins have lost 90% value

level 6

Oh no wonder. I was thinking you guys at least bought a year or two back. Tragic

level 7

Buy high and sell low!

level 8
18 points · 1 month ago

That's the /biz/ way

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level 6
3 points · 1 month ago

And not a breath of warning

level 6

I bought into Litecoin. I tried waiting on it to rebound but eventually saw it hitting rock bottom. Sold last month at around a 40-50% loss.

Fortunately for me... the price dropped another 50% since I sold.

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level 5

Most people who were not touching crypto for last so many years, went in at peak of the bubble. Human psychology is a bitch!

level 6
8 points · 1 month ago

FOMO

level 5

bc he bought at the top of the bubble like a 17th century dutchman

level 5
70 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

Anybody who ever understood btc should've seen this coming.

It booms and gains traction then crashes hard. It's done it several times. You remember the story about the oldest Kennedy and why the Kennedies had such old money? They avoided the great depression. Joe Kennedy said he knew to pull his $$$ out when the man who shines his shoes was talking about investments and stocks.

Same with btc. When your average dude in the office who isn't really tech savvy started talking crypto, and soccer moms and shit were discussing investing, it was time to pull out. I bought mine in 2012 for the Silk Road. They cost $14 then, it was wonderful. I held on to a couple, because back then it was spare change and meant nothing. I cashed out when I heard my 45 year old manager talk about "crypto" at my last job. I knew something was fucked if joe-schmoe was now viewing them as an 'investment'.

Also, idk if it's still like that but /r/bitcoin used to be one of the most hilariously delusional subs back in the day. They used to REEEEEEEEE at people who bought and traded/held/sold and didn't use it as a legitimate currency; they genuinely believed bitcoin would be how everything was purchased in 5 years, lmao.

level 6

Fun fact! The story about the shoe shiner was to cover up insider trading which is the real reason he knew to pull out.

level 7

Source? Not being snarky. Honestly curious, because most of the stuff that's regulated today was perfectly legal in the early 20th century. Bucket shops and rampant price manipulation were totally cool back in the day. Regulation wasn't even a concern till after the crash of '29.

For anyone interested in learning more, Reminiscences of a Stock Operator is a fascinating read. I highly recommend the annotated edition, as it was originally printed before the '29 crash, as an autobiographical first hand account and makes constant references to the markets and politics of the day which would appear to be completely without context to most modern readers, but contemporary readers would have easily understood.

level 8
6 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

I honestly don't remember, let me google around and I'll see what I can come up with.

Edit: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_P._Kennedy_Sr.

Under early venture it does mention his alliance with banks and how he pulled out in enough time that he made a fortune right before the crash

http://spartacus-educational.com/USAkennedyJP.htm

A couple paragraphs in, it mentions that roosevelt hired kennedy because it takes a crook to catch a crook. Which is when they went on to make insider trading illegal.

There was also a section on a site called "listverse" that discusses his insider trading but they didnt provide sources so that one is iffy.

So whether ge did it or not, at the time it was legal but he worked to ensure that no one could follow in his path to riches if it was due to insider trading.

level 6

Congrats, you are one of the first rational crypto people I've seen online. You made good points.

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level 6

My dad, who is a factory worker and barely financially literate, got stupid lucky like this. Right before the recession he had a really bad feeling and asked my mom to move most of his retirement ‘into something safer’ since she handled most of their finances. He said if everything was fine in 6 months she could move it back and the loss wouldn’t be substantial so she did it because she trusted him. A couple weeks later the stock market tanked. He can’t explain what happened. He had never done anything like that before and hasn’t since. Blows me away.

level 7
[deleted]
2 points · 1 month ago

Just lucked out. Lucky for your dad.

level 6
19 points · 1 month ago

I think this is called hindsight bias or something

level 6

/r/bitcoin is still a hilariously delusional sub.

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level 5

You don't earn millions of dollars by playing for fun. The major investors began manipulating the price of different coins and increasing the prices dramatically. The press also joined in and helped create a gold rush. Thousands of people started calling their financial advisors asking about bitcoin.

Depending on when you bought you could easily see a 20% return overnight. The price was volatile - dropping 10% and increasing 15% a few hours later.

Eventually people started selling as the prices began peaking. Bitcoin nearly hit 20K and many hoped that it would continue on and surge to 100K each.

Well...if you originally bought 100 bitcoin for 5K a few years ago and then you see it hit 20K each then you're pretty incline to sell and have the money in hand. Unfortunately some people took more than 1 Mil in returns and reinvested it - losing 80-90% of their money.

level 5
2 points · 1 month ago

because it's a bubble and all hype, it only raised because people bought into everyone saying how amazing it is without understanding it's actual use or having any knowledge of investing.

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level 4

I don't want to rub it in...but damn. Everyone and their mother said Crypto was a gamble and don't risk more than you can afford to lose.

Far too many people fell into the hype and risked their retirement savings and took out loans.

Once I hit 50% loss I decided I was done. Now it's down 50% more in a Month's time.

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level 4

I remember just months ago everyone was screaming JUST GET IN!! IT'S THE FUTURE!!

Lol.

level 5

Crypto is a pyramid scheme, basically. That's why everyone who was already invested were trying to convince everyone else to buy in.

level 4

Never understood why people dont sell after such a huge profits, i only made 13k after it went from 500-950, but im happy to have sold early than before i was too late.

level 4

This means crypto currency right? Is it failing right now?

level 5
[deleted]
18 points · 1 month ago(1 child)

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level 4

maybe don't buy at the all-time-high

level 5
12 points · 1 month ago

Hindsight is 20/20. Plus the stock market is constantly hitting all time highs and we are told to invest in that.

level 6

Stock market is buying companies that earn money though. It's expected to go higher in the future because of that (and even if it doesn't, many stocks still pay dividends on your shares).

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level 2

That may be the foundation of all his problems.

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level 2

Read the story more carefully. 50k was 1/2 in crypto (currency) which tanked leaving 20k. 20k went down the drain leaving 10k, DUI ate up more than 5k and damage to car cost the rest.

level 3

went from 50k in savings

So, he has 50K in savings..

My time there I was able to save a good 20k or so

No wait, he actually has 20K

When I said I had 20k saved, about 10k was profits from crypto, the other 10k was left in savings

Okay, so now it's 10K in savings, 10K in crypto profits. For the crypto 10K to be considered savings he would have to sell his shares, pay his taxes on the profit, and then the rest would be considered savings. You can't consider money floating in a volatile stock account to be "saved".

Well, a little later the crypto market crashes, and I knew better than to hold as this definitely proved to be a bubble afterall, and sold. At that moment I had maybe 10k in savings from the loss,

And here ^^ is the said statement that proves my point above.

And he threw in the edit after I wrote my comment.

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level 1
[deleted]
540 points · 1 month ago(75 children)
level 2

Absolutely. If you accept your role in your situation now, it will benefit you in the long run. If you continue to take the stance of what the world is "doing to you", it's only going to get worse. You are an adult. Be thankful that you only have yourself to think about instead of a family to support, and suck it up. BTW, don't be surprised if that DUI affects job prospects.

level 2

And why on Earth did he need "the best lawyer possible" for a DUI? In my state, at least, your first DUI is expunged.

A 1k lawyer should've been fine.

level 3

Other states really fuck you up for dui's. Like seriously fuck you up.

level 4

I'm glad they do.

He could have not only harmed / highly likely killed himself but anyone else on the road, which is selfish and irresponsible as hell.

level 5

Can confirm. Good friend was killed recently due to an intoxicated driver driving on the wrong side of the road.

level 6

I'm sorry for your loss, how terrible

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level 4

Yep. One of my old coworkers got a DUI, and shes still paying out the nose for the fees that came with it.

And honestly, she has no one to blame but herself. Driving drunk is such a fucking idiotic thing to do; i'm happy some states throw the book at you when it comes to DUIs

level 4

Ahh, didn't know that. Thanks.

level 3
[deleted]
17 points · 1 month ago(0 children)
level 4
14 points · 1 month ago

yup NE states will fuck your shit up. PA like that too.

level 4

I'm not sure about other states, but in WI getting an OWI doesn't hurt you that much. It's not uncommon to see people with more than 10 on their record. That's what happens I guess when you have drinking so ingrained in your culture. Not a good thing.

level 5
[deleted]
11 points · 1 month ago(0 children)
level 6

Ya the law just changed recently now that the 4th OWI/DUI is now a felony. Used to be you could get 4 and they were still considered misdemeanors.

level 7
5 points · 1 month ago

seems like a good change tho.

level 6

We need that here in Montana. We have some of the highest DUI rates and every so often you see on the news someone getting convicted of their 8th or 9th.

level 5
5 points · 1 month ago

I'm pretty sure the spring waters in WI have an ABV of at least 4% so y'all might be a special case

level 6

I don't think that we have spring waters in WI, just natural beer taps.

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level 3

That's not how it works at all in most states. 15 year look back

level 2
6 points · 1 month ago

GracefulEase points out a harsh reality. But in your edit you mentioned you felt the need to get out on your own and get some valuable life experience. Well, you did. Experience isn't always fun, but if you're willing, it will always teach you something. You can use this experience to help make better decisions when the time comes in the future. You're better for your mistakes. Don't forget that.

level 2
3 points · 1 month ago

OP needs to read this.

level 2
2 points · 1 month ago

agreed, everyone makes mistakes, but you have to own up that it was you who got you here and not "luck". Move home and take it as a very expensive lesson, but if you believe this is all bad luck then you're not really learning anything and you're going to never improve yourself.

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level 1
57 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

One thing I know from life (and from reading a lot of biographies) is that life is a long fucked-up windy road. When you're young you think its all linear - you see where you want to go and you point yourself that direction, and life should take care of the rest. That almost never happens...

Don't get too down, but if you need some time to drop out and get squared away, don't feel bad about that either. I had big dreams and big hopes, all kinds of potential when I was younger. I was always working toward goals. About 4 times I wound up on the ropes instead, broke and feeling like an idiot for stuff that was my fault, stuff I didn't see coming, stuff I had nothing to do with. Last time was in the recession - you'd think a 40-something a person would have things figured out?

Anyway, life is long. Keep your head and don't feel too bad, and plan for the future; its coming anyway, you might as well plan to live in it in some decent fashion. In the recession I struggled to keep a job and my underwater house, and worked on the certifications and so forth that made me more valuable as an employee. When things started to turn around I got a job that paid double what I was making, for the company in the area that was making the most of the turn. And (nose to the grindstone) turned a whole lot of debt to a decent reserve, then a retirement fund, and currently a very viable early retirement plan. It doesn't necessarily take very long.

Make nice with your parents. Do things around the house they don't ask you to do - earn their respect. Keep in mind they probably come from a different era; a well-kept yard is worth a whole lot more than any crypto-prowess. And always keep your own best interests in mind. Any long term outcome starts with a long term plan. Which sometimes starts with short-term suckiness, but work it forward.

level 2

Great thoughts here. I respect your dedication as well.

level 2
[deleted]
2 points · 1 month ago

Great way to put it. When you are young, you just don't know. Experience is a great teacher.

level 1
159 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

Stuff happens man. Yah it sucks to move back in with the parents and basically have no money but at least you didn't kill a family drunk driving and end up in jail or get yourself in an accident and become a quadriplegic or something. (It can always be worse. Consider yourself lucky). Even when you make all of the best choices things can still go to shit in life. We are just a bunch of little creatures spinning around on a ball in the universe. Life is chaos, sometimes there is no rhyme or reason as to why things happen the way they do.

Moving forward, it's ok to be salty and sulk for a while. A few weeks or even a month or 2 is understandable. But then you need to get back on the ball. Find a job. Save up a bit. Get back on your feet. Move out again. And show everyone you are capable of being independent and happy. It's going to take time and hard work and you may even have some stumbling blocks along the way...... And that's OK! Almost everyone at some point or another needs to fall back on friends and family. I bet if you asked your parents if they ever had to fall back on the grandparents they have some stories.

You are beating yourself up and that's a normal response. (BTW drunk driving IS a HUGE deal and I hope you realize that now and NEVER EVER do it again). Try to keep your head up, use this time back at home to reevaluate and organize your life, keep your head up and try to be positive. There are many very successful people who had to move back in with their parents. Heck even I did! I don't think taking out a loan is the logical answer here. Go home start over and do it right. You are going to be OK. :)

Good luck man!

level 2

He's also lucky he can move back home. He sees it as a negative, but other people end up homeless in that situation.

It's a blow to your ego, but it could be way worse like you were saying. Gotta focus and be thankful for the silver linings here :)

Edit: Oops, skimmed your comment, but I do see the part where you aknowledge this.

level 3
13 points · 1 month ago

Exactly this, if I lose my job I don’t have anywhere to go, I mean maybe a friends sofa for a week but that’s it tbh.

Moving home really isn’t that bad a thing

level 3

Yeah, just do what yo have to do, plan a year out to avoid the emotions. IT is not what is used to be, it’s extremely crowded and overseas devs are starting to move here instead of taking overseas outsourcing, so there is a ton of cheap labor available. Just get something for now, and then keep your eyes open for he next gig. It gets better !

level 1

How are you 27 and had no idea what a big deal a DUI is!?

level 1
133 points · 1 month ago

You only have 10k savings. Nothing you put in your car or cryto is savings. Your car is a depreciating asset and cryto is gambling.

So you blew through 10k of savings and have to move back home. Hopefully you can face your problems and accept that most of the problems are on you.

The right thing to do is pick yourself up and move forward. The wrong thing to do is wallow in self pity and be depressed. It actually difficult for me to suggest anything other than stop sabotaging yourself and be better at math.

level 2

Exactly he keeps calling his crypto value "savings" when it's just volitile gambling.

level 1
100 points · 1 month ago

Better to make these mistakes at 27 than at 57. As long as you learn it will all be worth it in the end.

level 2

how fast the world basically swallowed me up when I went out on my own.

I feel like there is a lack of ownership in OP's post. He/She didn't mention "mistake" or "fault" anywhere in the post, even though they did make a number of missteps.

I feel like until the bad judgement doesn't get fixed, then nothing else will either.

level 3

I don't know some of the language is not confidence inspiring but there are definitely comments where OP puts sole blame on him/herself. I think a little bit of this has to do with luck like getting laid off so quickly because the company over hired. I mean that sort of sounds like bullshit but I kind of have to take it at face value because I don't know this person. I hope your assessment is wrong and it's just a misinterpretation. But if you're right OP certainly runs the risk of something like this happening again. By the way can one get unemployment compensation from the above described situation? Seems to me like you should be able to but I have no experience with that.

level 4

I mean that sort of sounds like bullshit but I kind of have to take it at face value because I don't know this person.

Why does this sound like bullshit? The hiring process can take months from the original job posting. Totally possible all that business a company was expecting has dried up by the time their new employees are trained.

level 5

I've never worked at a large company or an IT contractor so I'll admit ignorance about such things. It just seems totally inefficient and rather costly to go through the hiring process and somehow end up with 3 extra people all in the same role. How do the people doing the hiring not communicate with the people doing the project managing and client acquisition? Before hiring those people wouldn't there be a plan for how many employees are needed to fill the open role(s)? If the business has dried up wouldn't you readjust to the new work load during the hiring process? I'm sure recruiting, interviewing and training people isn't cheap. I suppose a month's time is long enough to lose a decent amount of business. I don't know. Like I said I'm ignorant and in my mind there would have to be some serious breakdown in process to end up with 3 extra people for the same job even with a loss of billable hours. If I've got it wrong please enlighten me.

level 6

The company purposely over-hired, and then canned the worst performers. Its cheaper in the long run than to pick a set of people, cull the lot, and then do another round of hiring over and over.

level 7

I hadn't considered that. Definitely makes sense though.

level 6

If I've got it wrong please enlighten me.

I'm not claiming to be an expert or anything, just throwing around some ideas. :)

I don't think it's that costly. If you're hiring multiple people for the same role, is it that much extra work to interview 7 applicants instead of 3? Then you've got their salaries, for one month that's maybe $15k? It's not ideal, but the business might have decided they'd take decreased efficiency for that role and save 15 grand a month.

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level 2

It's a trip when you're living at 27 years old and you think you're old. You can fucking reinvent your life at that age.

level 3

Agreed. I'm 28 and still feel like an idiot kid sometimes. Speaking of reinventing I have spent 7 years in an industry and am back in school just so I can make a career change. Reinventing and/or retooling is exciting. The part where you move back in with your parents isn't the best but it's also not cause for an existential crisis. Here's how i look at it: at 30 you're likely only 35 or 40% of your way through life and at least half of those first 30 years you don't have the freedom to truly do just anything. So if your adult life doesn't start until you're 20 (for arguments' sake) then being 30 you've only actually been through about 17% of adulthood (assume 80 years old is when you die or become senil). That's... just the beginning. There is so much room for activities. Ya retirement planning and other long term saving should start when you get your first job. But a mistake early on is something you can make up for along the way. Just don't sink your whole savings into crypto again or get a DUI. I know people my parents age who have shit for savings and a somewhat recent DUI. OP has 30 more years of fucking up and not learning before he/she gets lumped into that category.

level 2
[deleted]
2 points · 1 month ago

Mistakes can be the greatest learning lessons...

level 1

Just be glad you’re not in jail

level 1

What is your definition of "luck" OP? Sounds like you made some bad decisions, what did you expect to happen?

level 1

Only get in crypto if you can afford to lose it.

Your only 27, you have your life ahead of you.

It happened, you learned your lessons. Now man up and take ownership of the situation.

Move in with your parents, be humble about it. Get a job and work your carreer. Pay off your debts and build a 3-6 months backup savings(3-6months salary as backup). You do not touch this. See it as it isnt yours.

Then move out to a humble appartment. Nothing fancy. Keep working on your career and start a business for yourself. As a network engineer you can make a lot of money. Just be disciplined and enjoy that you have no reaponsibilities but yourself.

Now go do the work and shut your face.

level 2

Real advice.

level 2

Get a job and work your career

Dude has a DUI. Might not be that simple.

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level 1

having parents to move back with is literally the best thing you have going for you right now. Be grateful you're not homeless with a DUI to your name

level 1
195 points · 1 month ago

My boy look at the positives in your situation. You drove home drunk, be grateful you didn’t get in a accident and kill someone or hurt yourself. Your debt is nothing compared to the debts of other Americans. You got a good job with parents that obviously support and love you.

You’re truly bless, there is no reason to be depressed.

I know you are beating yourself up with mistakes of losing money but these experiences will make u a better and stronger person.

Good luck

level 2

Am i misreading OPs post? I thought they lost their job

level 2

They are unemployed...

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level 1
13 points · 1 month ago

I was in a similar situation minis the DUI. Was injured at work, bunch of bullshit with workers comp paying me about 35% what I was supposed to be making. Lost savings, lost that job, and ended up back in with my folks, also at 27. I was only there for a few months, and I'm now back to making what I originally was, living in a much nicer home, and am back to working on chipping away at my debt.

Just saying that I know it sucks, and you feel worthless and alone in this (I know I did), but you aren't. Plenty of people have to do it, and you'll surely bounce back, especially with an in-demand skill set.

level 1

Be grateful that you get along well enough with your parents that you can move back in. Be glad that you aren't in jail or in a body cast after the DUI incident. Be glad that you have your certificates and previous experience.

You will get yourself in order because I think you learned some valuable lessons. Stay off video games, help your parents around the house and keep looking for job opportunities. Things will look up.

level 1
12 points · 1 month ago

This is why so many people get into major debt. You buy a $25k car when you haven't even worked 1 month.. lol

level 2

Cant get a DUI if you don't have a car. Heckin smart.

level 1
11 points · 1 month ago

Me and my fiance have been living with his parents for a year now because of low income jobs and trying to save for our wedding & buying a home (in 8 weeks now!!!) he is 31, i'm 26. IT SUCKS, but we are so grateful that we had the opportunity to move in with his parents, and make great savings. It's not shameful at all, your situation is shitty. I wonder if there is any action you can take against that company who let you go after one month, that seems dumb.

Just keep moving forward, in your shoes I would move home to recover, you won't feel proud but you will do a year or more down the line when you've sorted your debt out and back on your feet.

"Why do we fall, Bruce? so we can learn to pick ourselves up"

level 2

Yup, boyfriend and I are 28 & 29 and just two weeks ago moved back in with my parents after an issue with our apartment where we had to leave our lease. It feels a little shameful but we’re both thankful we had somewhere to go. All you can do is just keep moving forward. A lot of people have to do this at one time or another.

level 1

Whatever dude, I lived with my parents til I was 28. I had a shitty data entry job and made very little money.

Now I'm also an engineer and doing well. You already have the foundation. Just keep looking for jobs and you'll be fine. I felt hopeless at 27.

level 1
10 points · 1 month ago

So you had your 'savings' in crypto (as close to a casino as you can get, and this is coming from a guy who had similar figures invested for years, I'm not a hater), had no emergency fund, drunk drove, went to the casino and had no insurance.

That's a ton of lessons learned my friend. Get insured, don't drink and drive, skip the casino, build up an emergency fund and don't put more than 1-5% of your investments into extremely-high risk ventures.

But, you're young as hell. And you're in a nice field, you should be able to get a new job within 1-2 months.

Plus, $50k is a lot, but it also isn't. At a $65k salary average for the rest of your life, working till 67, you'll be earning $2.6 million, add investment return, house appreciation etc during your life, and you're likely looking at >$5m lifetime earnings, possibly way more (if you're already at $65k opportunities at this age, by 35-40 you'll be making way, way more). So the $50k is less than 1% of your lifetime earnings.

But only if you pick yourself up and move forward. You can do this. Take the lessons, learn from them, but also try to contextualise these losses, in the grand scheme of things they can be minor. They'll only turn into something major if you let it, if you give up now and become an unemployed dependent till 30 and get kicked out by your parents and lose all your friends because you gave up.

level 1

5K in debt isn't bad. A bunch of bad shit happened, some your fault, some not.

You should be super thankful and appreciative you had savings, and have supportive parents. You have a ton of resources to get back on your feet and move past this.

Until you get a full time job, getting a full time job is your full time job. Act with that mindset, and you'll be on your feet in no time.

level 2

The only thing not his fault was getting let go from his job.

level 1

Man I am sorry that is a lot of shitty things to happen to someone in a short period of time. Moving back with your parents for a couple years may seem really difficult right now but it’s definitely a pretty good decision. As long as you get along with them???

Life is really tough sometimes. Really tough. It’s how we handle the down times that set us up for even greater times.

Have a goal of only staying home for a certain number of months or years and make a plan for saving so you can get back on your own again.

It’s okay to be disappointed and discouraged but it’s how you handle this turmoil that will determine your future. I can tell you’re smart and driven. Try to stay patient and things will turn around. Positive energy brings positive results.

Don’t let yourself spiral out of control. Get ahold of yourself. Stay patient and positive and you’ll get where you want. Promise.

level 1

I had to go back to my parents at age 39 (divorced, ex-wife kept house). It sucks, but it is very good to have parents to go back to when you need it.

You first huge mistake was this: "My time there I was able to save a good 20k or so, sold my $500 car and bought one worth $25k which is now half paid off."

DON'T EVER spend all your money like this. I know it's tempting to buy a nice car to show off, but it's a waste of money and nobody else cares, and expenses and damages are your to pay.

Second, you can count only on liquid cash on you bank account. Crypto money are volatile, you have to think about them as 0$ value until you sell them, because they could go to 0$. Only when you sell them for cash, then you know their real value.

Another lessons you learned: don't go from frugal to the total opposite! There are like thousands things you can do without getting in trouble, do those!

You will get back on your feet, don't worry :)

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level 1

Pressure of judgement for living with your folks at 27 is much better than living on the street not having anything to eat. Sucking dick for money in a dark alleyway is probably a much worse kick to your ego than eating mom's meatloaf (no pun) while staying with your folks for a year while you are looking for a job.

level 1

The crazy thing is, most would agree that I'm typically a pretty driven guy

Really? You finished your IT certs and got your first big boy job at 27? I don't think that makes you a pretty driven guy. I'm not going to say you're a slacker but this doesn't add up.

Myself and 3 others who had the least experience were let go 1 month into the job.

You got hired in November and got 2 promotions in the span of one month? You started in November and have been jobless for 2 months? Where did the other 4 months go? This doesn't add up.

1.1k/mo rent, 65k salary

That's not completely irresponsible but that's nearly the top of your budget.

Crypto

lmao

25k car

A 25k car isn't as irresponsible as everyone is making it out to be. It's not great when coupled with your high rent. Certainly should have saved up some money first though.

I realized I needed to hire the best lawyer I could around this area, and did, for 4k.

I don't know much about this situation. Maybe it was a good call. Maybe you spent a lot on a lawyer who didn't even get you out of your DUI.

my car gets broken into while I'm at some park. 1k in damages.

Where's the insurance?

I got turned down at the very end. Not sure what happened

The DUI...

went to the casino, played some poker

You live downtown and your idea of finally getting a social life is gambling?

The DUI is going to show up in background checks. You are going to have a tough time getting a job, even with all your certs. You need to try, but you might have to get something that isn't in your field.

You need money management skills. You've come to the right place. Live within your means but pay for the necessities. Insurance is a necessity. Also stop gambling. The numbers in your story don't add up. You're lying about something.

As far as going home and feeling like a failure: you ever heard the story of the prodigal son? Your parents might not be super happy you got a DUI and lost your job but at least you're safe and healthy. As far as your dad being judgmental: you need to start being honest. Honesty goes a long way when it comes to personal relationships. Don't lie to yourself either.

level 1

Moving back in with your parents won’t be so bad, might kill your dating/sex life but eh thems the breaks.

But look at it through this angle, I was just about your age when I moved out and got a job. The following year my mom passed away, had I known then that was going to happen I probably wouldn’t have moved out, so take this extra time with your parents and get to know then better, now that you’re old enough they’re more likely to share things with you that they haven’t before.

While yeah life sucks, this in the end could be a blessing in disguise.

level 1

Whynthefuckwouldyoudrivedrunk? Hope you learn from this and tide of luck will change

level 1

Got married when I turned 20, divorced and bankrupt by 24. I moved back to my hometown and was able to get some help from parents but man, I wish I could have moved in with them for a few years to save some cash and take another stab at it. I'm 40 now, married with 3 kids, good job. You are young and have plenty of time to straighten it all out. Just play it a little safer next time, that's what I did.

level 2

There's a whole lot more to that story, but I'll add I hit a similar situation during that time. Got hired on as a junior dba at a company, walked in the door on my first day and they let me go.

level 3

Wtf, you walked in and they fired you? There has to be more to this story.

level 4

It was probably during the dot com crash around 2001. And they didn't say fired, they said "let go", which implies laid off. That scenario definitely happens when companies are struggling. I know people who were laid off with severance packages before they even worked a day for the company.

level 5

It was right around that time but not because of that.

level 4

Yes, the owner of the company lived in another city. Apparently he didn't know they'd hired a guy with no experience until after they hired me. So the day I got there they told me they had to let me go, the HR lady quit because of it.

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level 1

I feel your pain as I had to move back after finishing my degree and a joining a failed startup.

The pressure of judgement is real but its only true if you agree with them. Opt for self compassion not self esteem- and strive for and be proud of making progress rather than achievements. If you are better than you were yesterday that is good enough for anyone. We all have different starting points. Remember that if people judge you reexamine yourself if you are like them. And don’t be like them. (This was pretty big for me) Focus on growth and making progress. I hope I don’t sound too holier than thou but this helped me and i hope it helps you too

Some quotes I found

Jk rowling Broken marriage disapproval from her parents poverty that boardered on homelessness drove her back to her love of writing “failure stripped away everything inessential; it taught me things about myself i could have learned no other way”

“Everyone thinks they are a failure the only people who dont are the ones who really are” Bruce grierson

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts”

“If you are going through hell, keep going” Winston Churchill

“However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do, and succeed at. It matters that you don’t give up.”

Stephen Hawking

“It’s supposed to be hard, if it wasn’t hard everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great” Tom hanks

level 1
8 points · 1 month ago

Did the job disappear on a background check? Did you disclose the DUI at the application stage?

level 1

I'm 26 and had to move back in with my parents at the end of last year after resigning from a new job due to heavy burnout. I know how you feel... I felt like people judged me because I went from "doing great on my own in a new city" to "back at home with mom and dad" and overall felt like a failure. What made it worse was after I took some time off to recover, I started looking for jobs again, and for 3-4 months couldn't land anything. I felt like garbage. So, resisting my pride I went and asked for my old job back (one I had before the new one that burned me out) but kept feeling like a failure for being "forced" to go back to my old work. I'm just glad they took me back, as I actually enjoyed being there most of the time.

After a little while, I realized I was able to save 50-60% of my income while at the crib, even while paying rent to my parents. That boosted my savings so much I started to enjoy seeing how far I could take it. About 2 months ago I finally moved out again, I'm in a new apartment in a sweet location, about to get a nice raise at work, and my savings rate is still positive. Things are looking up.

My point is, I was in a similar situation as you not long ago and just had to find that one positive spark and focus on it! Ignore your brain, it'll tell you people are judging you... it's not true. I realized later that almost no one, in fact, judged me at all during my unemployment period. Sometimes life just throws you for a little loop! Happens to everyone. On the bright side you've got helpful parents who are letting you go back to live with them; it could be worse. Staying with your fam will help you knock out that $5k debt in no time. From there it's only onwards and upwards to rebuild that savings! You got this!

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level 1

You're young and have lots of time to recover. Life is expensive. I have a wife, 3 kids, and 3 businesses and made tons of mistakes along the way(still making them). Started at $0, twice. Focus, plan and hustle, it will work out.

level 1

Life tends not to be about what happens to you, nothing lasts. Knowing this, it's okay to have setbacks and pitfalls. You have the education part down man, it's just everything seems to be hitting at once, and once it settled you'll have a period of, hey this isn't so bad. It's great that you have family to help out.

Don't beat yourself up kiddo, it's only money. Your family helping out is awesome, just surrender to the situation for awhile and the universe will provide.

Much love, stay positive, take care.

level 1

Don't give up! You made it out of your parents house once, you'll do it again. You're smarter than you were back then and you've learned some very valuable lessons.

Keep your head up, keep pushing forward, save some money by living at home. You'll be fine.

level 1

27 is still young, I wouldnt get too worked up about it: Use this as an opportunity to not only save money but work on other areas of self improvement. Whether that’s exercising and getting in better shape or learning new skills or finding a side hustle to make some money, etc. Be thankful you have the opportunity to move back home, if your parents weren’t around it could be much worse.

level 1

just don't get complacent at home, or self-pity, and sulk. If you avoid that, you'll be fine.

level 1

I'm 27 and still live with my parents. Sure I could do with some privacy but I love being around people that I love and that love me back.

Your situation is shit but not of epic proportions.

level 1

Tighten your belt and start over, work harder and smarter and learn from past experiences. My old boss said to once “nothing wrong with going broke, only wrong staying broke”

level 2
2 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

Stay away from people that wanna sympathize, and just go out there and hustle hard, surround yourself with positive ass kickers and when you’re over this hurdle you’ll appreciate everything you’ve earned a lot more.

level 1

Welcome to life bro. Chin up. You'll get there. Shit happens, learn from it so it doesn't happen again.

Another thing, having too much pride to ask for help is worse than accepting help. Even if is from your parents.

Make it a goal to pay them back with when you are back on your feet. However long it takes.

level 1

You made some bad decisions but you are aware of that fact, which is more than a lot of 27-year-olds can say. You can turn this around quickly if you don’t dwell on the past. How lucky are you that living with your parents is an option! Move in with them, establish a daily routine, keep looking for work, saving, and just resolve not to make those mistakes again. You’ve got this.

level 1

Sure it's rough but if you have the option to move in with your parents, take it. It's tough on anyone to lose their job, no-one will fault you for crashing with your folks until you get another job.

And put away 40% of your crypto profits for the tax man next year. Crypto profits are capital gains.

level 1

I just turned 30 in May and have been living with my parents since last January after I lost my previous job. Shit happens dude, but you have a leg up on all the others that don't have the opportunity to live rent free. Don't take that for granted.

level 1
3 points · 1 month ago

I would like to add on the job interview offer you didn’t receive. I go into every interview assuming I won’t get the job which is true. Every position will interview 3-5 people at least. That gives me at the very best a 66% chance of failure and more like 80%+ chance.

Going into then I act like I assume I’ll get it to sound like I’ll be a part of the team and fit. But I also assume I won’t get it so I stay relaxed as it’s no big deal if I don’t get any one particular job.

I have had dozens of interviews that went very well in my opinion and have been rejected or even ghosted by the companies. It feels like crap and you are getting kicked while you are down every time. But in all of those interviews I’m sure they have had candidates equally or more qualified than me. It’s just a matter of getting enough interviews in until you get a job offer better than your current.

level 1

You have parents you can move back in with? Excellent news! Start over. It happens to the best of us.

level 1

Definitely a shitty situation but you are far from screwed. It’s a little demoralizing to move back in with parents but suck it up and do it just long enough to get out of debt, get a new job and save 3 months of expenses. If you are persistent and frugal you will be there less than a year and then out on your own again. Learn from mistakes. Don’t go out and party often, but when you do use Uber Pool or have a DD friend. You also need a much cheaper car. Try to find one with good gas mileage that runs well for under 8k. Read mrmoneymustache.com for more tips, he’s the best in the business. You are still very young. Shit happens, but if you are diligent you’ll be in a great spot by the time you are 30 which will come sooner than you know it.

level 1
2 points · 1 month ago

There’s no time table or blue print in life. Being 27, in debt and moving home doesn’t make you a loser. You’ll be a loser if you give up after a bunch of unfortunate hiccups. Keep at it brotha.

level 1

Tip for future investments: don't buy high then sell low

level 1

Christ...

I guess I should really count my blessings. My life isn't sunshine and rainbows, but at least the OP had some taste of things going well for a while. I hope OP can figure something out. Best of luck. :/

level 1

I know it seems rough but right now living with parents is what almost all my friends do. I pay 550 in student loans amd 850 in rent every month. If I wasnt getting married I would be living with my mom just because it is cheaper!! Be depressed bc of the road there but take some time to enjoy the fact that you dont pay 1.1k in rent a month for a while.

level 1

I'm also a network engineer. You need to get with a recruiter and do some contract work for awhile to build up your experience. That and certs will go a long way.

$ and experience are in the consulting side of the house.

contracting is great for building a resume.

corporate is great for.....nothing really (as a network engineer). Go with a VAR if you want to make real $.

Also, just as everyone else has said. Anything in your crypto wallet is in reality a $0 balance. It's not actual $ until you deposit into a fiat account.

level 1

Is this your first time experiencing failure? Dust yourself off, make a plan and buck up. Shit doesn’t always work out, you need a back up plan and a plan for if that one fails.

You’re not dead, you’re not in jail, it could be worse. Go move back with your parents (a safety net not everyone has) and start saving. Tell them thank you and that you love them. Be grateful you’re not at the homeless shelter.

level 1

It's easy for me to say this but don't beat yourself up over this, Life is hard brother... try and appreciate the struggle and one day you'll look back on this tough time and feel good about how far you've come. Be thankful that you have parents that will open up there home for you. NO self-pity!

level 1

I'm in a very similar situation-I'm 27 and about to move home for the first time since I left for college (and that was at 17) at the end of this month. I put myself in debt (in addition to student loan debt) so I feel ya!!

level 1
2 points · 1 month ago

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't move out until I was almost 30. I mean, I went to college and lived "on my own" (parents footing the bill) for a few years, but then I came home after graduation and stayed home while I floundered around and figured out what I was going to do. Finally got into my teaching career, and taught for a little over a year before I moved out permanently. Even then, I still relied on my folks to help me with some bills here and there. All of my furniture has been handed down from them, etc.

I'm now 44 and finally feel like I'm the one who can help them out instead of the other way around.

There is no right or wrong to this. You just have to do the best you can and deal with things as they come. No shame in that.

That said...you have made some notable mistakes. Be grateful that you have the ability to learn from these. It could be worse. You could have injured or killed yourself or someone else while driving drunk. You could be stuck in this mess without a supportive family to help you through. Take responsibility for what you've done, and always keep that in the back of your mind moving forward. That's how we become older and wiser.

Good luck!

level 1

Luck has nothing to do with it. You made bad decisions, own it, learn from it, and move on. Keep grinding for a new job, thank your parents for being so supportive, don't make the same mistakes twice, and you should be golden.

I am a bit confused how you can say you have been in crypto for a long time and went negative. I have only been in the crypto market for about 1.5 years and I'm still way positive on my investments (not savings) that I haven't sold.

On a positive note, you have a useful skill and education. Parents that seem to really care for you and willing to help. You drove drunk without hurting someone or yourself. To me it seems like luck has been on your side.

level 1

tldr; op drove drunk, spent almost 40% of their annual income buying a car, lost crypto investments, lost new job (unrelated to drunk driving), can't get a new job (perhaps in part related to background checks). Op, your life isn't over, but keep looking for jobs. The financial mistakes you made can be fixed by staying with your parents and rebuilding savings in cash. You have to get over the self-esteem issues with no longer being thought of as "young and successful"-- consider it atonement for the drunk driving. Just keep looking for jobs and figure out your psych issues. The way out is simple, but not easy if you get what I mean. Anyway, you can do it. I'm rooting for you. Good luck.

level 1

Damn! What a series of events. We all have to take a bite out of that shit sandwich from time to time, you got the $5 foot long. Upside is you have a family to fall back on. In the big picture, you have gotten career training, a little job experience, and a lesson on living on your own. Try not to be hard on yourself. I have done most of these things..... but damn, not all in the same month :-).

level 1

I'm 27, still haven't moved out, haven't had a full time job since 2012, depressed as shit too, but you should be proud that you made it out for a while, and you just hit a minor bump in the road!

level 1

You made a comment on how you are waiting for the car to be paid off to sell it ... why wait? You can sell a car before it’s paid off.

If you are upside down in your loan go talk to the bank. If you owe 20k and the cars only worth 13 then the bank has already given you the risk of 7K of unsecured debt. It would be better to talk to a banker and get a unsecured loan to cover the difference and get rid of it now instead of paying off 20K.

Good luck on the job search!

level 1

You don't need alcohol to have fun. No shame in moving back. Your journey is your own. Ignore what others think or what they do. Be frugal, live below your means. Hope it works out for you.

level 1

It's scary how similar my situation is at the moment, except from another country and I'm 30.

-Network Engineer: check
-Crypto sink: check
-Savings buffer to debt: check
-Car vandalism: check (Stolen emblems, screwdriver to the paint and something rammed into the front arch)
-Depressed: check

Are you me?

I'm currently looking for a better job and have drastically cut down my expenses (no crypto for now, smaller internet package, no coffee, eating healthy, cancelled unused gym membership, shittier phone package, busy selling the car and will buy a shitty replacement, so less on insurance as well.) I'm busy knocking off the loans and CC debt and it seems like the hemorrhaging has finally stopped.

Honestly fuck what people think about where you live. I'm sure your parents are on your side and wouldn't think less of you? Mine seem to be encouraging me to come back :D

Hang tight brother.

level 1
[deleted]
2 points · 1 month ago(2 children)
level 2

yup good luck brother. I know 2 months seems like a long time, but it really isn't. i was laid off once and took me 4 months to find my next gig, i thought it was an eternity when i was going through it but looking back it wasn't that long at all.

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level 1

Moving back in at 27 is better than being kicked out at 18 with no money.

level 1
2 points · 1 month ago

I'm getting help from my parents. 29, prior Naval Officer, and I'm waiting tables because that's the only job I can get in the city where I am. My wife and I will be moving in about a year but walking into a buffalo Wild Wings almost two years ago from now was one of the hardest, but smartest things I've done. I've moved on to a much nicer restaurant since then (and I'm pursuing an engineering degree, my second degree) but at the time I just needed to plug the leak and I knew I could make money immediately. I waited tables all through my schooling years and restaurants always want reliable talent. It was quite a hit to my self esteem. I had travelled the world being in charge of warship navigation, supply chains, scheduling, maintenance and personnel. I learned to supervise the entire engineering plant from the propulsion to making freshwater for onboard use. I presented daily operations plans to our Intelligence teams and coordinated a live missile test where we successfully destroyed a $400,000 target drone. Yet here I was, walking into a Buffalo Wild Wings asking if they would want me to wait tables for them for tips.

Huge hit to the ego man, but life is fucky and you have no choice but to play the hand you're dealt, or don't play at all. I recommend playing, though, brother. (I assumed you're male, apologies if not.)

level 1

Two steps back, five steps forward. Keep your head up!

level 1

Speaking from my own experience here, take the personal loan if consolidating lowers your interest rates and improves repayment time. And move back home. Now.

I didn't. I decided I could stick it out. What happened? I ended up with a mountain of credit card debt that it took several years to dig my way out from under... oh yeah, and I still moved home, just about 18 months later than I should have. Take the safe landing, save face by explaining to people that you were laid off and life sucks sometimes, and then find a new job and put yourself in a place to move back out.

level 1

It’s definitely easy to beat yourself up but like others have said, it could be a lot worse. Some people don’t even have parents who will let them stay with them.

Just my perspective but I would be so thankful for that and the fact that my drunk driving incident didn’t hurt anyone (I had a DWI too, it SUCKS) Stay strong and do your best to find the positives in this tough situation !!

level 1

Quick question: where do you live? Because here in Wisconsin an OWI (we don't call them DUIs anymore for some reason ) are only a misdemeanor and don't necessarily require a lawyer..

level 2

Operating while impaired OWI, or Operating While Visibly Impaired (OWVI), is a drunk driving offense you may be charged with regardless of BAC level. There is no minimum BAC which must be met to be arrested for OWVI; if a police officer feels that it is obvious you are not capable of operating a vehicle safely, you may be charged with this offense regardless of whether you have had one drink, or many. OWVI also applies if an officer suspects drugs have impaired your ability to safely operate a vehicle.

You can also charge someone for being drunk and operating heavy machinery, not just driving.

level 3

What was the point of your response?

level 4

You said "We don't call them DUIs anymore for some reason," I was explaining the reasons why some states call them OWI/OWVI now instead.

level 5

Oh okay thank you! I didn't mean to sound condescending lol

But yeah I've never heard of an OWVI before but I do know a few people who got OWIs for driving while high. I guess it's just a blanket term everyone is going to start using?

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level 1

Yo! Laugh about it and move on. Learn from it, don't make the same mistakes, and become a better man because of this experience. You didn't lose your life, your parents will understand, it's no big deal. Work hard, pay off your debt, and eventually move out again. Good luck

level 1

What happened to you sucks so be depressed and angry but don't give up. Your parents will understand. They know friends and family who have lost jobs and saving because a factory shut down, a business downsize or illness. You're 27. You're young and have a support system. Go live with your parents, spend time with them and your friends, save on rent and try again. I know it can be frustrating not finding a job in your field but find a temp job. What do you like? Electrics, video games, outdoors, fashion: try a retail job for the employee discount. You make some money while looking for a job in your field and get a discount on your hobby to help with the depression and frustration. Good luck!

level 1

Hey man, sorry to hear your story. Life can really be a bitch sometimes. But, you're not a fuck up if you go back to your parents to recollect, especially if they are able to support you for a bit. There is no shame in that. Its 2018 and honestly, it's near impossible to try to go it on your own on a 65k salary (in my city).

I understand your feelings of wanting to push through it and suffer in silence. Theres a Pusha T song I like where the chorus goes "I'd rather die than go home, and I ain't leavin' without my 40 acres." Shit sounds glorious for sure but the reality is that you've fell into one of life's holes and the last thing you need is to make it any harder for you to climb out.

Do what you gotta do. Let your parents take some of your stress away while you regroup. When you're back on your feet, pay it back double!

level 1

Moving back home is a hard pill to swallow. I've done it twice. Once you get back on your feet and it's time to leave, you will feel a little sad to go. Change in general sucks.

level 1

depressed about moving back home

This is a blessing in so many ways its disgusting.

level 1

Here is a tip only invest money that you dont need.

Also made good money from crypto but never ever spended more then i could afford into it.

level 1

Moving back home sucks, but you'll get back on your feet. Use this time as a means to become more financially responsible and get into the habit of saving & investing money

level 1

Screw what everyone says about you. What you should think about is what you are going to be telling yourself once you dig yourself out. That'll be fucking rad! You got this!

level 1

This isn't financial advice technically, or at all really.

But, if you ever need something to do to meet people and stuff download an app called MeetUp.

level 1

You’re so young dude...I know people say that but it’s true. You could literally be hermit for a year whilst making bank and still have time for a family, regain sanity, or whatever other life’s goals you have in mind.

level 1

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and learn from your mistakes. Get back up with vengeance.

Control what you can control. Be smarter with your money (forget cryto). A lot of people have it harder than you, and I have gone through some shit. I always told myself during adversity that someday, I will look back at this and laugh.

level 1

Stay focused, and keep to the same schedule every day. Get ANY job you can or two while you job hunt. If your parents are willing to let you come home, all of this will show them that you're taking responsibility and remaining an adult. Read different methods for paying off your debt. Offer your parents money and/or assistance around the house. Remain positive. Good luck.

level 1

At least you have a place to go. A lot of people don’t have parents or their parents don’t care. Keep your head up and work hard to get back on your feet.

level 1

thanks for making me feel better about my situation.

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