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Debt Collection Inquiry by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]ShrekMemes420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very helpful wiki, can you provide me emotional support though, maybe a hug?

Please learn from my mistake(s)...how I've financially ruined everything in less than 12 months by FinanciallyFacked in personalfinance

[–]OfficialHermanCain 1699 points1700 points  (0 children)

What is killing me the most however, is that I'm engaged to be married in February to my best friend in the world, and sharing this would ruin everything.

I say this the kindest possible way - what's there to ruin has already been ruined. The only way this gets worse is if you continue to deny it and hide it.

The consequences you're going to feel are because of your actions, not because of letting people know about your actions. Separate the money from the communication in your head. And the consequences will only be worse if you don't let your partner know. What would be worse - being told that the business you're considering buying is bankrupt, or learning that it's bankrupt after you'd bought it?

If deception is discovered later on (and it will), you've made the problem worse and might be in for a divorce - another expensive, massively painful process.

And this is all financial. I'm not even accounting for the possibility of you choosing to risk losing your partner by hiding this from her or him. Think of the hurt you're accumulating for them by not telling them.

Hiding it only furthers your gambling, your denial, and deception of your partner. You need to tell them. The only way you can actually ruin this more is by continuing to run from it, and that means both your addiction and continuing to hide it from the person who is right now planning to marry you.

EDIT: Also, to reiterate what others said - YOU CAN FIX THIS. $85K is a ton but it can be fixed. It's by no means life-ending. You have good career prospects and smarts. I have the same amount of debt as you. Like, the same amount, here's a screenshot. And I have a great career, and I'm paying it off, and quickly, by working hard. You got this, dude. Confronting it will be hard, but you have to in order to take care of it. And I know it's something you can do. Get the help for the gambling, tell your fiance, and hopefully they can be there to fix it with you. You can do it no matter what.

Was near bankruptcy, a $50k settlement has given me the opportunity to do a hard reset on everything financial. Advice from those who’ve been there or can otherwise opine? by TheChickOfDestiny in personalfinance

[–]EvilLipgloss 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Here's our situation.

We were about 29 years hold when my husband and I had a very serious conversation about our finances. We had a pile of debt, around $41K -- part of it a car loan and the rest credit cards. We decided we were done living paycheck to paycheck, we were done financing our lifestyle, we were done living above our means. This wasn't the life we had set out to live for ourselves. Debt was such a burden and weighed us down.

We decided to follow the Dave Ramsey steps, for the most part. We saved up our baby emergency fund (we chose $3,000 instead of $1,000) and then we started chipping away at our debt. We weren't making a ton, but since my husband is in the military, we were living on base and had no housing costs. About six months into our debt payoff journey, I took a new job in a new field for a big pay raise. This allowed us to accelerate the payoff.

Between raises, forming a complete, zero-based budget, tracking everything, reigning in our spending, etc -- we were able to pay off $41K in 17 months. It was hard, but so worth it. We've now been debt-free for over two years and we have so much financial freedom. Now we make just over six figures, we have a six month emergency fund, we have healthy retirement assets at 1X our household income, and we're saving up to buy my husband a new-to-him car in cash, as well as saving for a home down payment. We're both 33 years old and in better financial positions than most of our peers, even the ones who make more than us.

My advice would be to get on a full budget and live below your means. Keep your fixed living expenses low -- cut cable, avoid car payments and non-mortgage debt. Contribute at least 15% to retirement. That's what has worked for us.

[Insurance] A drunk driver hit both of our cars, then destroyed my neighbor's house and killed their dog. Help? by DJ-Butterboobs in personalfinance

[–]DJ-Butterboobs[S] 338 points339 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this. At least I have something to fall back on, but I'm not going to hold my breath for collection. As I sort of implied in the post, I think my neighbors are going to try to bury these people. I'll just start saving for another car.

If this kid is still on his parents' insurance, he may have not only ruined his life, but also his parents', and that's sad. If that's the case, I'm not sure I'd even sue. I'm perfectly happy with this kid sitting in jail and having his pay docked for years, and I'll use my PTO to make it happen. I don't know how I feel about bankrupting his parents for his mistake. Either way, it doesn't fix my car any time in the near future.

That said, if it's an affluenza case and his parents try to morally defend him in any way, I'll see them in court.

Help with tax withholding. by juanlee337 in personalfinance

[–]rnelsonee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you get that $438 every paycheck, then count it - it's income just like your wages. I just didn't know if that was a one time thing. And the $416 in deductions not highlighted is for every paycheck, so we're talking $10,000/year, and therefore makes a difference of $2,400 in taxes.

your anticipated income tax for 2018 is $13,424

I don't think that's right (is your AGI going to be $91,450?). Put in ($2,920*number of paychecks you will receive) for your withheld wages - that's how much is going to be in box 1 of your W-2. Then add your 1099 income.

Wife passed away. I would truly appreciate some help figuring out where I stand. by LordObnoxious in personalfinance

[–]Ohmannothankyou 2067 points2068 points  (0 children)

I can’t help you with your legal question, but I unexpectedly lost a partner in our thirties and this is my best advice for you:

First of all - this fucking sucks. Ignore anyone who says it’s god’s/fate’s plan. You don’t have to pretend it’s ok to make other people feel better.

Second - get someone you can 100% trust to help you go trough your financials and come up with a plan. Pay an accountant if you need to.

Third - you are going to be fucked up for a while. At first, you will not have time to breathe. Everything is going to be terrible. After some time, you will have a little break. Maybe a few minutes when you are watching TV and can forget. Maybe when you first wake up. When you remember, it’s going to be even harder. But only at first. After a while, the grief will come in waves. It will still be awful, but you will stop feeling like you are drowning. The waves get further apart, but they get bigger over time. You won’t forget, and you won’t get over it, but you will get used to it as time goes by.

Fourth - ask people to share pictures and stories with you now, while it is still fresh. Print them, save them, and keep them. You will want them now to give you immediate comfort, and later when things get hard at important times in your life. Get them now while people still have the same phones and fresh memories.

Fifth - people will want to help you. They don’t know what to do, and you don’t either. If you have children or pets, get them to help you with them. If you are too depressed to clean, ask them to do your laundry. If you need to get out, ask them to take you somewhere specific - Target, the movies, a park - or ask to come stay with them. You also need groceries and to eat food on a regular basis - ask for help with that if needed.

I am so sorry this happened to you. Take care of yourself the best that you can.

Wife and I spent over $750 on food (groceries, restaurants, fast food) -- What the hell are yall doing to stop this? by OrangeEarPlugz in personalfinance

[–]Brookefemale 245 points246 points  (0 children)

One subreddit that OP could consider looking at is r/32dollars. The theme is that people show off what they’ve bought for $32 and then usually post comments on how to meal plan about a weeks worth of meals with that amount. The posts have been getting progressively better and I feel like it’s a great crash course.

Edit: ALSO I love this list on food nutrition per dollar. Scroll down a bit and it gives you a great list that can be used to purchase staples.

Edit 2: Whoa! Thanks for the gold, anonymous Redditor. That made my day!

Both parents passed away abruptly. Going solo at age 16 by Reddit_Unfairness in personalfinance

[–]mistresshelga 704 points705 points  (0 children)

OP, if you do collect SS, watch out for maximum income, which the IRS reports to SSA. As a teen, I had SSA nail me for making too much money while flipping burgers, and they clawed some back. Better to run under their limits and focus your energy elsewhere.

Also, while your focus on financial independence is great (and will serve you well), don't get caught being too short sited. Your education is a critical to long term financial success. $10k now means nothing if you're stuck in McJobs your whole life. Even if you never go to college, getting your high school diploma (or GED) and learning solid trade requires some planning and short term sacrifice.

If you want to go to college, this will require even more patience and sacrifice, but it can be a great long term investment if done right (and it can be a shitty lifelong dept if done poorly). If you do find a career path that requires college, and is a good investment (like STEM), I will offer you one piece of advice: When you're broke, exhausted from work and stressed from classes, remember it's not smart people that graduate, it's the persistent ones.

Best of luck to you.

W-4 Allowance withholding rate by juanlee337 in personalfinance

[–]ronnevee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will reduce your withholding. You can fix that though, to keep your withholding at $780. If you are in the 22% tax bracket, and put 1k into your 401k, then on your w4 you would put that you have 0 allowances, and want an additional $220.00 withheld from your check. This will keep your withholding the same.

Why in the world you want to do this though, is beyond me. Your tax liability goes down if you put more in a 401k, so it's good and right for your withholding to go down with more contributed to the 401k.

I'm 37 and I feel like I'll never catch up. by Alwaysatodds in personalfinance

[–]PorgWay 944 points945 points  (0 children)

Can you still catch up at my age?

There are plenty of benchmarks in the world you'll never reach. You need to decide what goals you have for yourself (if it's a house, a family and vacations, great - but don't want those things just because other people have them) and then make a plan to reach them.

My controlling dad might be erratically spending our family's savings and I need to know what I could do to be personally financially secure. by erml21 in personalfinance

[–]lookmeat 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Prepare to set boundaries. Your money, your job, your resources, your damn business and not your dad's. Also set this boundaries with the rest of your family. In the worst case they'll be an extension of your dad, on the best case you are placing these people directly in the line of fire if something were to happen between your dad and yourself.

You won't be able to help your mom as long as she's with your dad. Again an extension of the first post. You should assume that your dad will do all sorts of tricks and you should assume he will manipulate or coerce your mom into getting your money one way or another. Any help your give your mother will enable the toxic relationship to continue. Make it clear that in order to get your help she'll have to help herself first, though you shouldn't diagnose her. The same goes for your dad, don't diagnose him, but don't trust him unless he gets help.

Plan for your health. Specifically budget for therapy. I strongly recommend that people should take care of their mental health more, but in your case doubly so. You are constantly dealing with a stressful and toxic environment and this will have its effects on you, including your ability to do the right thing in an extremely shitty (ie no path forward that isn't shitty in some way) situation. Therapy will in the very least be a great place vent and release frustrations, and at its best a way to grow out of traumas and the fears they bring and get rid of fleas (btw the website has some great general advice). This should also be complemented with other people.

Don't live under fear shit happens, emergencies happen. You should take your parents taking your money away as just one of those things. This should be taken as another emergency. Also money is an easy way to track things, but you want to also give yourself time to enjoy life and do fun stuff. This is your early adulthood, go on road trips, go to parties, have fun. It's easy to let the shadow of your abusive house stay over you, but all you'd be doing is carrying the abuse with you everywhere you go. The line between miser and responsible is as thin as the line between responsible and irresponsible. Keep that in mind.

Find external support, groups, professors, friends. You want people who are not in your family, are unrelated to your father, and can't comprehend (even though they should understand) what it's like living with him so they can challenge mindsets that only make sense when in the abusive cycles. This also are people that can help you in case of an emergency, you may end up having to look for a place to stay or such. You shouldn't expect or depend on anyone, but you should have enough people and support that if you ask for help there's a high chance you would probably get it.

You're in the right mindset. The fact that you want to be financially responsible and as independent as possible is the right way to look at things, honestly even if you didn't have the abusive family situation it's beneficial to plan ahead for anything. It's useful to learn about student loans and different scholarship programs you could get access to. It's good to start looking into paid internships or job opportunities you could use to have a little bit of extra cash on the side. It's better to solve these issues now when you don't have pressure and can take your time to find a solution that requires little compromise than otherwise. There's a lot of programs and services at universities and/or aimed at university students that you can use, try to learn about as many as you can.

My controlling dad might be erratically spending our family's savings and I need to know what I could do to be personally financially secure. by erml21 in personalfinance

[–]drawinfinity 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I'm in a family somewhat like this, though I no longer depend on them for anything. I'm 28.

As far as your mom, there is little you can do, it sounds like what you can do for emotionally you do. Your parents are married, even if your parents got divorced your mom's money is legally his money too and they would split everything, since he doesn't work he might even be entitled to alimony. There are ways to try to fight this but that means legal fees. If you can try to convince her to take the money to a different bank and put it in an account only in her name. This would at least make it harder for your dad to spend the money. But honestly, you should also recognize that if she allows him to do this and you have tried to get her out of the situation she is complicit and unlikely to make a change.

As for you, I'm not a whiz at personal finance, but I did leave home at 18 and know what it takes to get on your feet, and I know what mistakes I made you should avoid.

Do not trust anyone who is abusive. EVER These people are highly manipulative. Source: My mom is abusive. Even when she has the best of intentions, she is often manipulating me into getting what she wants. I refuse to give her anything ever. Slippery slope. So when you ask if you should trust them? No. Your dad is abusive and your mom is not strong enough not to give into him. You should not trust them.

Monitor your credit. Many parents like this will attempt to take out loans in your name. If this happens and is not reported early it can ruin your credit for a long time. You can pull your credit report once a year for free, but there are also dozens of websites/banks that provide a free credit score and will describe why it is that way. Pull it once to make sure there is nothing you don't know about. If not still sign up to get your free credit score monthly. If you see anything that says "delinquency" "late payments" "added account" or "collection" that is your flag that he has done this. In that case you should contact the company that issued the account and the police to report fraud and protect yourself. If this happens, that will hurt your relationship with him. You have to be ok with this because a loving parent would never want to do this to their child. It is part of the cycle of abuse and you should respect yourself enough not to allow it.

Get a job and save money. I know an engineering degree is a lot of work, but even if it takes you longer to finish school you have to be financially independent of these people. This doesn't mean don't accept their help. This means save money as a backup plan in case one day your dad says the savings are gone. Part time is fine but you cannot be without an income at all when you don't know your parents will help you in the future. Look into work study or becoming an RA. Those jobs are designed around your school schedule and often get you discounts on housing. They are also easy to pass off to parents so he doesn't decide to stop helping you if he doesn't have to. If you can't work on campus right now find something walking distance. Get your license if you can.

Be ready to get a better job if they stop helping You can also do this right now and just run the risk they stop immediately. I worked full time as a waiter while I got my degree in software engineering. It sucks, but its doable. If they at any point say they can't pay your tuition, get a full time job. If you need to take less hours, do it. The less money you take for school now, the less you pay back later. It's possible you might still need some loans to bridge the gap, but you will need a hell of a lot less and that's a good thing.

If they stop helping, avoid relying on credit cards Yes, a student loan is debt. But that debt is usually a 5% interest rate vs. a 22% interest rate on a credit card. If you need to, take student loans before you take credit cards. Try to only take federal loans if you can, they are a lot less scary to deal with than private loans. If you stick with engineering, you should make enough money when you get a job that paying them won't be an issue. Just be responsible and don't take more money than you need.

Know that you can survive this Many people come from these types of situations and their life turns out fine. You are on the right track going to college for engineering, and as long as your are careful your future is still bright.

Paying parents' bills is crushing me by Parentspayplan in personalfinance

[–]gchamblee 1847 points1848 points x2 (0 children)

I had a similar situation with my father. He came to me one day and told me he had been getting money from people at his church to avoid being homeless, but they werent giving him any more because he wasnt taking any steps to rectify his issues. He needed to borrow some money to pay his rent and I didnt want to give him money because I knew he would need it every month. His only retirement income is social security. Below is how I tackled the problem...

I told him I would help him, but only if he tuned his finances over to me 100%. He gets about 1300 per month social security. He had no choice but to agree. He had several payday type loans, credit card debt and had gotten a new loan against his paid off car. He basically used every form of credit he had access to and maxed everything out.

  1. I opened a checking account in my name only at his bank

  2. I opened a savings account in both of our names at his bank

  3. We called the social security office and changed his check to be deposited into the savings account (he cant write checks against a savings account)

  4. When his check is deposited I transfer it to my checking account

  5. I transfer 60 bucks every Monday into the savings account for him to withdraw. This is for food, fuel and every expense he has

  6. I pay all of his bills from my checking account ( which only has his money in it)

  7. I called the payday loan places and told them I hired an attorney ( I didn't), called the better business bureau and the consumer protection agency. I told them the lawyer I hired actually offered to handle this for free because his father went through the same thing and he was eager to make them pay again. All of them dropped all of his debt and wiped the slate clean. Bluff worked. In my state it is illegal for them to take post dated checks and they still do it because nobody knows any better. I had the law on my side so that helped with the bluff. The loan companies knew they would not stand a chance in court.

  8. I met with the bank manager and explained what I was doing so that she could help me watch his accounts and understand the weird movement of money.

  9. I closed his checking account so that no more checks could bounce against it

  10. He moved into a controlled rent home where his rent is determined by his income

  11. He lived on 40 bucks a week until I got his payments under control. Now he gets 60 and he has 5 grand saved up that he doesn't know about. When he has an emergency, like dental needs or doctor or new tires, I use the money from his account. He thinks I pay for it out of my pocket. On this system he saves around 100 bucks per month but thinks he breaks even.

I cant tell him he has a nest egg because he absolutely sucks with money and is like a child with it. He would find a reason to need it within days and would blow it at the bar where he drinks with his VA friends. I told him if I caught him hiding money from me, or lying to me to get money, or being deceiving in any way I would close the checking account, take my name off the saving account and would not help him anymore. He is an adult and is responsible for himself.

I never had much of a relationship with him but feel that being the first born son is a big deal. I feel, as the first born son, I am responsible and my duties are not noble or charitable but a requirement for a family unit to maintain its integrity.

I hope this is helpful for you, but either way I wish you luck and even though I don't know your name you will be in my prayers. Life is hard, but it is even harder when your parents cant hold up their end of the deal. Whatever you do, do not strip them of their dignity, do not publicly shame them or give them reason to feel ashamed. They made a life error that they wont recover from, but they were blessed enough to have children that love them. They are fortunate. What you are going through now and how you are handling it will be one of the reasons you will be able to lay your head on your pillow at night and sleep soundly later in life. We do what is right not because it is easy, but because we go through enough shit in life to not have to be haunted by the wrongs of our youth.

Edit to Add: Something else I am considering to do is have him sale his car and moving him over to 100% reliance on Uber. His monthly Uber costs will be cheaper than his car payment/insurance/fuel costs. This also gives me the added security of knowing he cant be destroyed by a DUI or worse, have a negative impact on someone else's life. I can link the Uber account to the checking account so that his money is covering the costs. I am thinking this could possibly allow me to raise the 60 bucks he gets weekly to 80 bucks. I know that he is not eating healthy on that allowance, but eating healthy at this point is a luxury.

I have never been gilded before, so I want to thank whoever did that. My experience is humbling and often I feel that my opinion is worthless to most everyone. I know that it is something simple, but this gesture is both flattering and spirit raising. Thank you kind stranger.

Preparing to Lose a Parent: Estate Attorneys and More by NomadicLogic in personalfinance

[–]trust_administrator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The most cost effective steps your wife can take is to do the following:

Review and update any and all financial accounts so that your wife is the named beneficiary or is the "transfer upon death" named person. These types of accounts include:

  • Bank Accounts
  • Bonds (paper or e-bonds)
  • Any type of retirement account
  • Non-retirement investment brokerage accounts
  • Any other types of account which holds financial assets

By having a named person listed, these accounts will bypass the Probate process and the accounts will be inherited by your wife immediately. Ensuring that a named person is on EVERY account costs you nothing and doesn't involve a lawyer.

Keep in mind that there will still be a process involving paperwork in order for the accounts to be formally transferred from your MIL to your spouse.

As far as selling the house is concerned, two immediate considerations and I don't see any upside to selling the house immediately:

  • IF sold by your MIL while she is still alive, she won't face any tax burden assuming the home has been her primary residence for the last 2 years (is it still 2 years?)

  • IF inherited by your spouse, the home will have to go into Probate and then after that is over, your wife could sell the home. There will be a step-up basis in ownership here so she shouldn't face any tax burden b/c of this. It really depends on whether your MIL needs to proceeds from selling the house to fund any long term care.

Keep in mind that empyting out and selling a house could be a LOT of logistical work your MIL may not be able to take on if her condition worsens.

Sorry your spouse has received this news.

My new rules for "lending" money... by travelsizegirl in personalfinance

[–]Lily_May 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Money is meaningless. The things it represents are important.

A friend would never knowingly ask you to risk your safety (unless it was a dire, dire emergency). If someone asks you for money and it impacts your ability to pay rent, or retire, or to keep yourself safe, then they are not a good friend.

If someone asks you for things —love, time, money— but does not return those things, then they are not a good friend.

But money is nothing but paper and ink. OP uses money to weed out toxic people and support good ones. Acting like sharing with the people you love is a “responsibility” or a “burden” is weird and gross.

Raises and bonuses resulting in over-contributing to Roth IRA by housing_advice_pls in personalfinance

[–]wijwijwijWiki Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My recommendation:

Stop the automatic Roth contribution.

Make 2000 nondeductible contribution to trad IRA any time before tax deadline. Roth convert it immediately, so no gains to pay more tax on. Doesn't matter if you convert in 2018 or 2019.

After end of December, when you know what your income was, you can figure out what amount of your 3500 direct Roth contribution was okay to make. For example, if your income was 127500, then I think 2750 of your 3500 was okay to contribute directly.

Recharacterize before tax filing just the amount not allowed (such as 750 plus its growth). Include a statement with your 2018 taxes describing that recharacterization from Roth to traditional.

Your 2018 Form 8606 line 1 would combine the 2000 amount and the 750 amount. The recharacterized 750 gets treated as if it had been contributed to the trad IRA in 2018.

If you Roth convert the 2000 in 2018 and the 750 in 2019, you'll handle taxability in both 2018 Form 8606 and 2019 Form 8606 but the upshot will be that you only pay tax on growth that occurred on the 750 while it was in Roth and in trad IRA before conversion, and you'll only pay tax on it once.

Edit: I suppose you could argue that the sooner you recharacterize the disallowed direct Roth contribution amount the better, because you would limit the growth from being taxed.

But since you don't know for sure your 2018 income, it seems plausible that you might prefer to wait, in case your income is on the lower end of the phase-out zone, in which case more and more of your 3500 direct contribution is legitimized, and any growth associated with legitimate direct Roth contributions should remain forever untaxed.

You don't want to recharacterize more than necessary of your 3500, because you don't want to pay tax on more net income attributable than necessary.

Edit: For example, you could do the math and perhaps learn that if your income is under 125000, then all 3500 you contributed directly was okay, because of the way the phase-out works, and no recharacterization would be needed.

30YO, Wife Died, Seeking Financial Freedom by machanical in personalfinance

[–]dequeuedWiki Contributor 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss.

  • Only put enough into your 401(k) to get your full match, but no more than that.
  • Sell the personal vehicle. Use the proceeds to pay down CC debt.
  • Find out if you can break your lease (and get a cheaper place). Even if it's not in your agreement or explicitly allowed in your state/city, just ask nicely and explain the circumstances.
  • Don't ignore the medical debt. Find out what it is and try to see if you can negotiate a lower amount.
  • Call up every credit card company and the medical debt's hospitals/doctors and ask them if they can reduce your interest rate and/or defer your interest for some time. If the first call doesn't work, try again, ask to talk to a supervisor, etc.
  • Do not cash out the 401(k).
  • Do reduce your spending as much as reasonably possible. Your income should let you get out of the hole you're in, but aside from increasing your income, decreasing your spending is one of the best ways.

I'd suggest going after just one of the credit cards to start. Pick one and pay it off. Minimums on everything else.

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