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Grandparents have lost $30k to lottery scams. They took out a $150k loan to pay for another. How can I help? by Chuckberrydiedtoday in personalfinance

[–]TexasJefferson 284 points285 points  (0 children)

In 40 years, sophisticated generative video and sound models will create life-like, Turing-test-passing simulations of your grandkids being held hostage and tortured by biohackers who've gained root access to their lungs, and you'll either sign away the 0.0005556 hyperdogecoin or have their gasping, screaming forms projected directly into your minds eye as you try to sleep because you forgot to read the release notes from the last critical security update to your neural router which, in addition to fixing several buffer-overflow bugs, reset the admin password to 'ADMIN'.

And when your grandkids dial in to visit, they'll make caring but patronizing remarks about your needing to be more sophisticated about this kinda thing, and you'll stammer out something about the risk that it was true being too great to their unsympathetic sighs.


Edit: In truth, even this is far less bizarre than the present is to many older folks because I could, in a few minutes, vividly imagine it. The things that will haunt us in 40 years will be as alien to us now as speculative-cache-timing attacks are to someone who grew up in a time when home computers occupied the same relevance to daily life as ham radio and electronically controlled model train boards. Our futures will be far more alien than I can explain, simply because my being able to explain it means its insufficiently alien.

May be in an extremely volatile place in 6 months, how should I prepare? by surpriseskin in personalfinance

[–]431026 40 points41 points  (0 children)

  • Start changing your address on everything. Get a P.O. box if you have to -- they're super cheap, and only you will have access. Even though 90% of banking stuff can be done online, they'll still need a mailing address, and a P.O. box is sufficient.

  • Ask your parents for your birth certificate and social security card now. Tell them you need them for your new job. If for some reason you can't get them, look up online how to request copies of your birth certificate and social security card in your area. You can usually pay a small fee online to get your birth certificate. You may have to go in to the ss office to get your card, but that's fairly easy, too. Those two documents are likely the only ones you will really need. Past medical records can always be requested from the doctors/clinics/hospitals -- and really, you won't likely need the actual paper copies; you'll just need to know your own health history well enough to tell your doctors what you're allergic to, what surgeries you've had, etc.

  • Find another bank that you prefer and open up your own checking/savings accounts there. Withdraw all your money from the account you have with your parents and deposit in your new accounts. You can do this a little at a time for now, and then grab everything the day before you come out. It's your money, and you have the right to take it.

  • Freeze your credit reports. You can just Google "freeze Transunion", etc to get to the pages on the credit bureau websites where you can initiate the freeze online. This will mostly prevent your parents from opening any accounts in your name. Save those PINs, though, since they're your ticket to unfreezing when you need to. I can't imagine your parents will try to ruin your credit, but you never know.

  • The credit card in your name... If the account is truly in your name as the account holder, you can simply change the mailing address to your new P.O. box (or whatever separate address you are using), and report the card as lost/stolen, so they'll issue you a new card with a number your dad doesn't know/have. You should probably wait to do this just before everything blows up. If you are just an authorized user, I wouldn't worry about it. Your dad, if he reacts the way you expect him to, will simply call the company and remove you.

  • Expect them to drop you from their insurances. That's okay, though, since you'll be able to sign up for the benefits your new job offers.

  • Change your security answers on anything financial. Your parents know your SSN and mother's maiden name and all that jazz, and they could easily get into your accounts with that info. For my mother's maiden name, I use my grandmother's maiden name. For my childhood best friend, I use a stuffed animal's name. For my first bf's name, I use the name of my best friend when I was 5. As long as the answers are things you can remember, they'll work, and your parents won't be able to guess them.

  • As for the car... I would take it. If they pay for it outright and put the title in your name, then it's all yours. Get your own car insurance, though, so if they drop you from theirs, you're covered. If they are making payments on it or have the title in their name, have the keys ready to hand over when you come out.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but you are doing the right thing by planning ahead and making sure you're taking care of your own interests. I hope that one day, your parents will come around to realizing you are more than who you choose to date.

May be in an extremely volatile place in 6 months, how should I prepare? by surpriseskin in personalfinance

[–]joeri1505 193 points194 points  (0 children)

I'll stick to the question about the accepting the car, since the other ones will be awnsered by more knowledgeable people.

Take the car!

By not taking it you are basicly appologising for being who you are! You are not going to do something bad to them by coming out! If your anticipation is right, they are going to do YOU a big wrong.

Good luck!

I want to leave my abusive husband but I don’t know how to do it because I have nothing to my name and babies to take care of by Leavemyhusbandplease in personalfinance

[–]AndyMandalore 605 points606 points  (0 children)

The shelter I lived was a really big house that was split into apartments. There was a communal living area where we prepared meals and ate together. We would celebrate holidays together and it really just felt like a really big family. You would think there would be a lot of crying and a sense of defeat but I never felt that. If anything it felt like everyone got a new lease on life and they were excited to take control of their fate.

I can imagine that as an adult it would be a bit harder. I was 4 so anything at that age just seems normal. I think the hardest part would be just accepting help and not allowing your pride to get in the way. You aren't admitting you're weak by asking for help, your admitting you're human.

If it really bothers you to accept government aid that's understandable but just think it through. The goal is to get you on your feet. Once you're on your feet you will be paying taxes if you're not already. You will essentially be asking the government for a loan to get you out of a jam. If the banks can destroy our economy and get a bailout, why shouldn't you? You are raising future tax payers. The banks are just going to do the same thing again. As a tax payer I can say "please take that money. We want you to have it."

I want to leave my abusive husband but I don’t know how to do it because I have nothing to my name and babies to take care of by Leavemyhusbandplease in personalfinance

[–]AndyMandalore 1063 points1064 points  (0 children)

If he finds you there, you will have people to protect you. It's really important that you focus on getting out. No matter what course of action you take there will always be "what ifs". I know it's scary but you have to cross that bridge when you get to it.

Once you contact these people they will put you in touch with services to help you. You may need government assistance. I don't know your politics bit don't be ashamed of this. You are the reason the money is there.

I'm sure you will find someone who will be willing to do a sitter swap with you. You go to work and they'll watch your kids, and they go to work and you watch theirs. I remember we had an honorary sister named Jamie in the shelter because our moms did this so Jamie was always around.

I know this is hard, and scary, but it's so important you do this for yourself. The longer you wait the easier it will be to not do it. Don't just think about yourself, but think about your kids. Even if your husband never hits them, they will be growing up thinking it's normal for women to be abused by men. You can do this. You're stronger than you think.

Just had my car stolen. Completely overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. by MiserableFungi in personalfinance

[–]pasterfordin 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Are you sure this wasn't a ploy you set up to get rid of the stuffed animals?

In most cases, it will cost your employer far more to replace you than it would to give you a raise. So ask firmly. by JaminDime in personalfinance

[–]howsadley 12.8k points12.8k points  (0 children)

On the other hand, some employers use turnover as an opportunity to reset the salary downwards. If an employee with 5-7 years on the job leaves, they’ll replace him/her with a new hire with 2 years experience at 2/3rds the salary. Other employees will suck up some of the job duties, or have a chance to progress.

Know your market and your employer’s culture.

Edit: Thanks for the gold!

In most cases, it will cost your employer far more to replace you than it would to give you a raise. So ask firmly. by JaminDime in personalfinance

[–]Bmic31 6731 points6732 points  (0 children)

I'm a manager of up to 12 front line employees.

On the latest scorecard 2 of my first year technicians did better than 2/3 of my technicians that have 10+ years experience. I took over this crew a year ago.

My new guys are hungry and strive to improve and impress. 2 of my 3 tenured guys won't accept coaching without extreme pushback because they're "experienced and know what they're doing".

Tenure doesn't automatically equate to profitable and worthwhile.

EDIT: Thanks for the first gold I've ever received!

I didn't expect this to blow up.

I agree with a lot of what I'm seeing in responses! I'm not always right and won't be. I have done what my technicians all do for 8 years before moving to the department above them and now I've moved back to their department as management. I have knowledge of the position but I'm still learning methods of coaching and teaching different personalities and generations.

In my team, out of the 2 tenured guys that are struggling, one is staying the same and one is on an upward trend as he's becoming more comfortable and willing to ask for advice from me and discuss how to improve his numbers. The other has plainly said "Someday when you have kids you'll worry about more than work. I'm just here for the pay, I know I'm doing a good enough job. I think your numbers are wrong.". Obviously there's the issue.

I did not mean this response to say all tenure is bad. My best tech earned technician of the year awards last year and is consistently my star I lean on. We max his raises consistently and he earns it. No intention of "pushing him out" only to promotion if anything.

Thank you all for the responses! I understand the RIP Inbox now.

In most cases, it will cost your employer far more to replace you than it would to give you a raise. So ask firmly. by JaminDime in personalfinance

[–]WizardMask 10 points11 points  (0 children)

What distinguishes the legitimately good developers? (How) Can a developer get a reality check for their self-assessment?

How much is an actual, reasonable down payment on a house? by lumabugg in personalfinance

[–]alexm2816 197 points198 points  (0 children)

20% down gets you a better interest rate, avoids PMI, and ensures that you are able to avoid being 'underwater' in the event of a market correction.

People often neglect that to sell your home you will typically need to pay 6-10% of the value in repairs, concessions, and fees.

This means if you have an 8% equity position (because you bought with 0 down and have lived there for 6 years) you will need to pay out of pocket at close when you sell!

20% should be your down payment goal and by the time you consider closing costs, appraisals, inspections, escrow funding, title fees, moving costs, new locks, keys, window treatments, initial furnishings, lawn tools, initial maintenance items etc you should really look to have 30% saved along with your emergency fund to avoid any hiccups.

I am a father who just won sole custody of my 5 year old son. Please help. by ballsnweiners420 in personalfinance

[–]Idontknowyounknow 5750 points5751 points x3 (0 children)

I grew up on or below the poverty line most of my life,but i'm pretty young(21) so I can't offer parent specific suggestions or advice. If it's of any use to you,here's a few things i've learned to ease the financial burden on both yourself and your child:

Buy certain things in bulk that will bring yearly costs down and always look for the best prices possible.

-Rice and Pinto beans go for $10 per 20lb bag at walmart -Rolled oats are cheapest in bulk at Honeyville's website. I buy the 50lb bag for about $60 and it lasts me a little over a year(you can easily change the flavor with fruit preserves so he doesnt get tired of oatmeal every morning) -Eggs are insanely cheap at other stores,but you can get a pack of 60 at walmart for $10 I think. -Angel Soft Toilet paper in the 36/72 roll packs at walmart -This is the best time of year to get whole turkey's for dirt cheap! Cook them in the oven,break them down and put them in sandwich bags to freeze(squeeze the air out to keep frostburn away and allow more meat packed into one area)

I would recommend you go the fresh vegetable/fruit route since canned stuff is not as good for you and its way more expensive(also check prices everywhere so you can find the best deal).

As much shame as people tend to put on it,the goodwill/playdos closet/etc are great for school clothes

Check out any and all government assistance programs to see if you qualify for anything. Any and all help is welcomed.

Check out food banks and churches for food/clothes (doesnt matter if you dont share their faith. They are helping because its what their god wants,regardless of your beliefs)

Boys and girls clubs sometimes help the community and take kids out to shop for shoes/clothes

Go for child support if you can

Ask family for small donations if possible(an extra $5 or $10 every month is a new pair of shoes for your kid every 6 months if need be)

Ask for a raise. Worst case scenario is they say no,right?

Hug your kid,tell them you love them and wish them sweet dreams every night.(if you work a lot,this kind of thing matters even more)

This one is controversial,but I say be completely open and honest with your kid about your finances. My mom told me outright that we cant afford (whatever I wanted) because the power bill was too high,or we just dont have enough money. Because of her open attitude towards our finances I ended up with a pretty great skill set for budgeting and saving money at a very early age. I also appreciate everything I have and my gratitude for gifts is almost overboard. I take care of everything I have and I am eternally grateful to my mom for letting me see the reality of the situation from the getgo.

Credit score dropped 30 points inexplicably by ImHereToLearnShit in personalfinance

[–]kylejack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very possible. Utilization has no memory so if that's what it was then it would spring right back.

Restaurant made a mistake and charged me $228 on a $19 bill. It's a reminder to monitor your accounts and keep your receipts. by ThreePointsPhilly in personalfinance

[–]mlball315 1247 points1248 points  (0 children)

I found a newly filled bottle of Percocets on the dining room floor of my work. There was only 17 in it, but the fill date was the day before. I called the pharmacy and gave them the guys name and asked them to contact him and tell him I had his pills. He came in and was kind of rude, like I'm the one that made him drop his script. This is not at all like 25k, but as a newly recovering pill addict I was really proud of myself for not pocketing the bottle and pretending like it didn't happen.

Edit- Gold! Thank you! And thank you all for the words of support and encouragement.

[Tax] Is Form 8606 also used for After-Tax to Roth IRA conversions? by AtelierIris in personalfinance

[–]wijwijwijWiki Contributor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it's worth showing how your 2017 Form 8606 and 2018 Form 8606 might appear, assuming no growth.

tldr: What is going to happen is 5500 gets converted in 2017 of which perhaps 458 is taxable and 5042 is not taxable. Then 6000 gets converted in 2018 of which perhaps 42 is taxable and 5958 is not taxable.

Upshot is that overall the two nontaxable amounts are 5042 + 5958 = 11000 as expected, and the two taxable amounts are 458 + 42 = 500 as expected. So, assuming no growth, the 500 does get taxed, but it is taxed in two pieces.


Sample 2017 Form 8606

line 1 = 5500
line 2 = 0 basis from previous years
line 3 = 5500
line 4 = 0 late contributions
line 5 = 5500
line 6 = 500 value Dec 31 (if no growth)
line 7 = 0 distributed
line 8 = 5500 converted
line 9 = 6000 total
line 10 = 5500/6000, or 0.9167
line 11 = 5500 * 0.9167 = 5042 nontaxed
line 12 = 0
line 13 = 5042
line 14 = 458 remaining basis
line 15 = 0
line 16 = line 8 = 5500
line 17 = line 11 = 5042
line 18 = 458 taxable

The line 18 amount goes to 2017 Form 1040 line 15b as taxable income.

The line 14 amount will be used on line 2 of next year's 8606.


Sample 2018 Form 8606

line 1 = 5500 new
line 2 = 458 from last year line 14
line 3 = 5958
line 4 = 0
line 5 = 5958
line 6 = 0 value Dec 31
line 7 = 0
line 8 = 6000 converted (if no growth)
line 9 = 6000
line 10 = 5958/6000
line 11 = 6000 * 5958/6000 = 5958 nontaxed
line 12 = 0
line 13 = 5958
line 14 = 0 basis left
line 15 = 0
line 16 = line 8 = 6000
line 17 = line 11 = 5958
line 18 = 42 taxable

Refinancing car loan? by Dleslie212 in personalfinance

[–]akiro_no_boku 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Certain conditions like a "fixed" rate has the interest built into the payments. Paying off early redoes the interest and lowers it. This sort of thing can only be refinanced before the first payment because vehicles usually upside down the moment you leave the lot. A $25,000 car is now $20,000 after 200 miles. To refinance you would need another loan to take out and proving the vehicle is worth the same as it was back then is impossible.

Another concept to pay off the loan is to refinance something else like taking a loan out of your house and paying off the car immediately. House loans usually have a lower interest rate (3-5%). Paying off vehicles ahead of its time removes interest rate "unless" there's an agreement of increase or periodical interest.

Minimum wage just raised to $14, how can I bring up a relevent raise to my pay? by MadameHootsALot in personalfinance

[–]OhNoRhino 389 points390 points  (0 children)

"Everyone else got a raise so I deserve one."

This isn't the argument being made.

The correct argument is "people who have made less money than me (EDIT: hopefully based on merit as I bring more value to the company) all received an externally mandated pay bump. No internal change of responsibilities or added tasks have been made. Unless my wage is adjusted, you (the boss) are devaluing my work down to the level of an entry level position (as most min wage jobs are)".

So yeah, same circumstance (others get a raise - I want a raise) but the context, thus the argument is different.

Now this isn't a free range excuse to demand a raise, but it does give you some leverage when bringing the case forward about how you deserve a raise based on how awesome you are and what you contribute to the company, etc.


It also bothers me how others can dismiss cost of living increase raises as if workers don't have an argument.

Inflation raise prices, boss-person has more expenses - got it, money is tight.

However I, as a wage-earner-person, also have more expenses - see where this is going? Money is tight for me too.

We are in this together when it comes to inflation.

By not giving me a raise to match the cost of living index you are effectively decreasing my wages.

The value of that $15/hr will steadily decrease based on yearly inflation which can be anywhere from .1 to 2%

It may seem like not a lot or a trite thing to argue, but in accepting this as a worker, I am devaluing what my time is worth.


Another thing - talk to others about your wages - even if its taboo, it's becoming less so.

It comes back to leverage - a company culture that's all hush hush on wages gives the employer negotiation power

but if people know what their co-workers are making, most can benefit.


Rant over i think..