We have been together for 5 months. He is great in anyway: successful, smart, good looking. He works in a unique industry and his schedule is all over the place. He also works from home so he can fall asleep whenever he wants. The catch is he needs to be up at odd hours whenever it calls for him. I work in a more traditional industry where I go to work in the morning and come back. I’m also a student so I am working 2 jobs to help pay for myself. My days are long, tiring, an often without break.
This Tuesday is his 26th birthday. On Monday I had a particularly stressful day that started at 7am and didn’t end until 11pm. I then drove to his place (30 minutes away) so I can say happy birthday at midnight. We did have plan to do sexy things that night but he fell asleep early. So I just left it at that.
The next morning I woke up at 4:15am because he has started to initiate things. I tried to push myself t o wake up because I knew it was his birthday. But I honestly was just so damn tired. So I told him that I’m really sorry but waking me up on a weekday night knowing that I have work early the next morning ... I just can’t do that. I was so damn ridiculously tired and spent from the previous Monday and I knew I was walking into a busy week as well. It’s not that I don’t want to have sex, I really do, but I’m just SO DAMN tired.
It really hurts him I think. He was really upset and he didn’t cuddle/ hug me for the rest of the night (he usually does throughout the night). He said “it’s fine. Get your sleep” - but you know how it goes when someone say something like that in such a passive aggressive way that it hurts even more to say it.
I know it’s his birthday. But this is not the first time this happened. In the past I have mostly refused, but on days I felt like I could come to work late or something, I went for it.
I feel really bad that this happened. Am I in the wrong? My brain told me to stand my ground but my heart told me to just give the guy what he wanted since it’s his birthday.
Also now it’s 5am and I officially cannot fall back asleep. Anxiety is a peach you know.
What do I do?
TDLR: bf of 5 months woke me up at 4am for sex, after I have had a busy work day and am about to have another terrible day coming the next day. I refused, but it is his birthday and now he is upset.