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Posted by6 months agoGilded1

We survived the Missile Warning in Hawaii!

86% Upvoted
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3.0k points · 6 months ago

I hope, when there's an actual missile launch, I don't hear about it on Reddit first.

Original Poster1.1k points · 6 months ago

Same here.

this is the first I'm hearing about it...

Original Poster340 points · 6 months ago

That's wild dude, scared the shit out of us.

167 points · 6 months ago

Thats good, cause you were in the shitter.

I hope everyone didn't get scared shitless, a toilet paper shortage would have been devestating

If Jumanji taught me anything, it's that you can use banana leaves as TP. Though it may not be as refreshing

9 points · 6 months ago

Just never use gympie gympie/suicide plant leaves.

Comment deleted6 months ago(3 children)

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If that big haired dude played for the Grizzlies, tell him Jessup said "hello, sir"

Original Poster51 points · 6 months ago

It is me, sup dude! I miss playing down in the back line with you!

You're even more of a rockstar now! I feel the same way. I'm going to have a lot more ground to cover without you around. Thanks for testing our missile detection system, btw!

Original Poster24 points · 6 months ago


My goal is to be back for the big stuff, so ideally Regionals and Nationals. More than likely, I'll make it for just Nationals though.

This interaction made me smile, like running intovan old friend at a concert or something.

You run into a lot of vans?

Only at concerts.

Or something.

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66 points · 6 months ago

As a Canadian, I hope y’all don’t get hit with a missile period

Aww thanks i hope you don't get hit by any moose

13 points · 6 months ago

But I hope you do get to hit someone on the rink. But make sure you keep your stick on the ice will ya?

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37 points · 6 months ago

Dear Canada: please stop firing angry geese at us every fall.

35 points · 6 months ago

Dear US: stop sending them back

13 points · 6 months ago

But they're CANADIAN geese, we're just returning your property.

10 points · 6 months ago

I saw a green card strapped to one of their feet though

Canadian propaganda leaflet, no doubt. burn it and send the goose back.

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Missle period is nasty.

4 points · 6 months ago

TIL Canadians think missiles menstruate.

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171 points · 6 months ago

I was asleep in Canada during all this. Woke up to a rollercoaster of emotions in my notifications

AP2 hours ago: “ballistic missile detected over Hawaii, alert sent out”

Me: immediately jumps out of bed and checks all my notifications

CBC: Hawaii says emergency alert about incoming ballistic missile a “mistake”

Me: yeah no shit, I almost shit my pants and I’m not even american

Yeah I had just got off the plane in the US from my trip to Canada. I was like "For god sakes, I leave for 4 days..."

30 points · 6 months ago

Who did you assign to watch the button while you were gone? You really need to train your replacement better.

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Reddit is my news and porn source. I hear everything on reddit first.

I read this... had a moment to myself and backed out. After sort of scrolling down and back ( on mobile ) I finally decided to go back into this post and upvote.

Reddit is also my source for news and porn.

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10 points · 6 months ago

news and porn source.

Should have heard this one cumming then.

I'll get the box...

7 points · 6 months ago

Thanks. I’d get it but my arms are broken.

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Imagine how dank the memes will be after the nuclear apocalypse.

You'll be able to updoot much more with three arms.

I believe that mainstream news gets there information from Reddit because of how fast Reddit is...I am constantly telling my fiance "I know" when she tries to show me recent news and videos

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If it's not in the form of an amber alert style text, I probably won't find out unless it's on reddit.

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1.0k points · 6 months ago

Hey, if it had been true, at least you'd all have gone out together. In the shitter.

Original Poster518 points · 6 months ago

That was the gameplan haha

Comment deleted6 months ago(2 children)

Ugh Dad, just flush it.

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Y'all don't look scared at all. But you don't look disappointed either. A wholesome bunch of absolute nihilists.

18 points · 6 months ago

you have a beautiful family

There's Fallout scenes just like this.

Damn... On some true shit

You know how the skeletons in Fallout tell a story? I wonder what people would make of discovering this lot, all bunched up together in the bathroom.

Drink toilet water and radaway (which you have a surplus of vs stimpacks this run) until full health, checking each body in stealthmode, and meticulously dropping and picking up various loots based on their "weight to cap-value ratio", then open door back up to resume stealth sniping the ghouls/mutants/supermutants that are in the next hallway. Been playing Fallout since Fallout 1, and I can tell you that's how it's always been, and how it always will be

Who needs stealth and snipers when you've got a melee weapon and the terrifying presence perk.

I've got this grenade I made with soda pop, and that's all I need.

5 points · 6 months ago

Somehow more hazardous than frag grenades.

AKA Deathclaw mode

Sad story indeed

War never changes.

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Shitter's full.

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Tip from tornado country: If you have bike or construction helmets, wear them. Won't help with the radiation thing, but will protect your heads from falling/flying debris.

Original Poster364 points · 6 months ago

If we are close enough to the nuke that debris from the blast is hitting us, we probably died before that point.

So an atomic bomb has several methods of killing you; physical shockwave, thermal radiation, radiation burst, and fallout.

Being inside a building will virtually eliminate risk from radiation burst killing you. Many people in Hiroshima suffered partial burns because the "flash" was partially blocked by an object, the exposed skin was instantly burned.

The blast effect creates what's known as overpressure. Again very deadly if outside and it will cause building destruction and damage. The blast weakens as it moves farther away doing less damage to buildings as it goes. You want to be inside to avoid overpressure.

The next is thermal radiation. Very quickly things immediately surrounding the detonation are going to spontaneously catch fire. Most people even inside buildings will be killed by the intense heat. However this drops off and starts smaller fires away from the blast. These fires can and do produce what's called a fire storm, which can rage for hours after the blast. These storms spread and suck in people and debris. Near or inside the fire storm zone is almost certain death. During the fire bombing of Desden fire storms were created and the fire burned so fiercely it sucked air out of the bomb shelters underneath it.

So if you're outside the firestorm area there are good chances you'll survive the initial blast. I'd say better than 50/50 odds. You absolutely need to worry about building damage and usually the bathroom with no windows is a safe place to be just like a tornado (similar principals at play). You may immediately have to combat fires and perform first aid.

As for "avoiding fallout": Fallout is a collection of radioactive particles that are both from the bomb and it's reaction and also from debris made radioactive. The primary concern is ingestion or inhalation.

If your house is intact: stay indoors. Seal up doors and windows with duct tape. Turn off the AC. The shockwave carries very little fallout especially compared to what's going to fall over the next few minutes and hours.

If your house is damaged and cannot be sealed. Consider seeking shelter at another house or if that's not possible, secure a single room. Duct tape, etc.

Now is the time to take iodine tablets if you have them.

For water, you have to assume the municipal water supply is contaminated. Your best options are bottled water and the water from the top of your toilet tank. The bowl water is a last resort but for cleaning or washing off not the worst.

Turn on a radio. Listen for instructions.

After the fallout has passed hosing down your house may not be the worst idea if rescue seems remote. Limit your exposure, use mask, wash off afterward and discard clothing. Try not to splash yourself with either contaminated water or wash off water. (Toilet bowl scrub down).

Eat only food that were sealed at the time of the blast. Once open discard.

Saving this in case I ever need it

You'd better print it out, because if you do need it you won't be on reddit retrieving it.

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26 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Funny thing is that during the later Cold War era, very helpful advice like this would have brought OP accusations of being a right-wing war-mongering cowboy. Back then, I remember any suggestion of practical protective measures or civil defense was met with jeers of "hurr hurr, duck and cover, just bend over and kiss your ass goodbye."

This is a film from the BBC that provides a realistic assessment of what nuclear war and its outcome would be.

It must be Threads, innit? clicks Yeah, it's Threads. One of the more depressing films about an all-out nuclear war.

Late last year I went down a 'nuclear apocalypse' rabbit-hole on the internet and watched 'The Day After' then 'Threads' back to back. Holy fuck they are depressingly realistic visions of what would happen.

The Day After is on youtube for free, and isn't quite as horrific as Threads, but Ronald Reagan actually sent the director of The Day After a telegram saying that his movie 'definitely influenced' his opinions towards the danger of nuclear weapons.

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Well fuck. Now I'm a bit scared. The more I learn about it the more of a possibility being nuked becomes in my head. Now I understand the guys who build shelters stocked with food a little bit more

5 points · 6 months ago

Some other notes.

Another popular source of water in any natural disaster where you lose utility water is your water heater tank.

Also, I think red wine can help deal with radiation if you don't have iodine, but, obviously, iodine is better.

And also whatever helps you cope with stressful situations. Lots of ice cream, chocolate, pizza, comfort food, drink, etc.

Also, you have to shelter for a surprisingly short time. iirc something like two weeks at the worst before you can take, I guess, short trips outside.

Lots of ice cream, chocolate, pizza, comfort food, drink, etc.

I strongly doubt the power grid is going to be entirely functional.

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Radioactive iodine isotopes are one of the byproducts of a nuclear fission reaction. The problem with Iodine compared to other fallout particles is that the human body has a high level of uptake for iodine. The radioactive iodine will accumulate in your thyroid and can lead to severe problems very quickly.

A lot of "rad away" pills are just iodine designed to flush out radioactive iodine from your thyroid and be built up there before exposure to lower uptake.

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264 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Nope the shock wave will drop the roof roof on your head, if you survive that next comes the heat wave followed by the fallout buy by virtue of there being a barrier between your body and the radioactive particles emitted from the blast you will absorb less than direct exposure also any thermal barrier is better than nothing to protect you from fallout and the heat wave. If you have survived this far run, get far away, abandon everything you brought with you and scrub.


Original Poster86 points · 6 months ago

Hawaii isn't that big, it could probably work.

5 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Bombs arn't as big as you would think. This is the biggest guess of North Korea's biggest bomb to date. If China were to strike this is what they would use, which, yeah it's basically all of O'ahu. Hawaii might not be that big, but it's not like a bomb will take out the entire state.

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Wait, am I missing something here? Is this a joke or a serious comment? Just because the roof collapses, that doesn't mean you are safe from fallout. Fallout occurs for a long period of time and even if you evac and scrub, if you were within fallout radius the chances are you are already contaminated as soon as you open the door.

What? Contamination can be mostly washed off, so long as you don't eat it or breathe it in. If you leave the area as soon as possible to an area with less contamination, THEN scrub down, you can wash off a very large portion of it. I don't remember off the top of my head if something as simple as a surgical mask blocks most radioactive debris from entering your mouth, nose, and lungs, but I'm sure it helps a little bit.

EDIT: I think he/she meant that the shockwave itself would protect you from the fallout. It knocks down roofs as well as helps move fallout away from the epicenter. I don't know enough about nuclear explosions to really dispute.

Original Poster26 points · 6 months ago

You are probably correct, but we are slightly trapped being on an island though. Breathing it seems unavoidable after a certain point.

I suppose you can pray for some sweet oceanic winds to carry it away?

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3 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

North Korean nukes would not even affect an eighth of Oahu.

The largest bomb ever produced has a yield 10,000 times greater than that. It would only be 100% deadly on an eighth of Oahu. People in other areas would absolutely increase their chances of survival by sheltering in sturdy structures.

People really should duck and cover. It could save millions of lives some day.

Which is why I said to evacuate, as in the Island would be a total loss sadly for several decades to centuries depending on fallout and payload.

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21 points · 6 months ago

Immediately clean yourself, make sure to never use conditioner when washing radioactive debris out of your hair, it will cause the debris to stick. Clean up with warm water, don't scald, scratch, or peel skin. Cover all abrasions so the water doesn't push radioactive debris into openings in the skin. Your skin protects your insides. Take off your clothes, cover your face, shake off as much radioactive debris as you can (if clean clothes are not readily available) and put the clothes back on. Contact a CDC disease center (will most likely be dispatched nearby) to have them check if any debris made it's way into your body through mouth or nose.

I'll check right away to see if these steps are verified or if I am talking out my ass.

Edit: I just looked on Google for "CDC how to self decontaminate" and came up with this

5 points · 6 months ago

Or just use Rad-Away.

Correct. Radiation and radiation debris are different. Radiation doesnt really give a shit about masks or clothes. But dust and micro-particles can carry radiation into your clothes and body.

AFAIK, alpha and beta particles are blocked by your clothes and skin. Gammas and neutrons are gonna zwoop on through regardless of your wishes.

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the shock wave will drop the roof roof on your head

See, this dog knows what he's talking about

that next comes the fallout and the heat wave

Wrong. Pressure wave is followed by heat blast followed by inferno followed by reverse pressure wave. The fallout comes after everything in the reverse wave is swept up into the mushroom cloud.

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Then why are you in the bathroom in the first place?

everyone had shit their pants after reading that alert at 8 in the morning.

Original Poster23 points · 6 months ago

It was to maximize our chances of surviving on the off chance that it wasn't that close!

The burst of light from a nuclear blast only lasts an instant but can literally burn your skin off even if your miles away. So being in a place with no windows definitely ups your chances of surviving.

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But in this case a helmet would help you do just that.

Original Poster14 points · 6 months ago

Because that close to the blast is instant death, far enough away is trying to not die of radiation poisoning. What I've been told is that if you survive the bomb drop, it's about limiting the radiation.

Does porcelain limit radiation?

Original Poster7 points · 6 months ago

I hope so!

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4 points · 6 months ago

Plumbing might block some?

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Make sure to wear your bike

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121 points · 6 months ago

My sister lives in a rural area on Hawaii. She says "Got the warning. Got up, decided to not bother making the bed. Made tea instead."

Original Poster31 points · 6 months ago

I live in rural Hawaii as well, just happened to already be further in town. Figured we would at least attempt to do something!

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Looks like one kid isn't happy it was a false alarm..

Original Poster379 points · 6 months ago

He was very concerned about the bathroom situation if we got stuck haha


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tbh, when I was a kid, I would have been disappointed too.

He probably plays a lot of fallout and got excited to play IRL fallout.

Edit: notice how he has a WiiU or switch in his hands?

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183 points · 6 months ago

are you chili klaus?

Original Poster173 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

That's my buddy that took the picture, I'm the homeless looking person sitting on the bride of the bathtub. He will appreciate that though haha

Edit: *side of the bathtub

57 points · 6 months ago

i like your hair

Original Poster37 points · 6 months ago


How does one marry a tub?

Original Poster28 points · 6 months ago

You make a good point haha

If I get married I'll let you know

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Dude you look awesome not homeless

Original Poster15 points · 6 months ago

Haha thanks man! I like to think that, but I get mixed reactions!

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Lol I thought that was you for some reason anyway. Maybe because we look really similar. I’m 24 and have 4 year long, curly hair just like that.

Original Poster4 points · 6 months ago

Ive been growing it out for about 16 months, but no cuts at all. I imagine at some point I'll need one haha

Well, you were excellent in Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Get Him to the Greek.

You are what I imagine a Hawaiian looks like. I like your hair.

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Yeah, he looks so much like chili klaus

he's not snapping fingers so I dont think

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74 points · 6 months ago

I thought the guy at the back was on the toilet.

Original Poster64 points · 6 months ago

My buddy told me that when I showed him the picture, I told him we had to establish a poop corner.

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Original Poster27 points · 6 months agoGilded1 · edited 6 months ago

I don't know where to put it, but thanks for the gold! That's my first one!

Edit: Haha, thanks again if it was the same person!

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Congrats! You should do an AMA to document this horrendous experience

Original Poster29 points · 6 months ago

It was definitely scary at first haha

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Jokes aside.

That had to be pretty intense/scary, right? What was the conversation like? How long before you knew it was a false alarm?

Original Poster65 points · 6 months ago

We started hearing from people after about 20 minutes. My friend and I had just leaving the house (he's the good looking fellow that took the picture) when we got the notice. It was a "WTF" and then we hung a hard U-turn and high tailed it back to the house because both our wives and his kids were still there hanging out. Both our wives were freaking out. We went into the "let's stay calm and make sure everyone is okay" mode

Wait a few months and post this photo out of context.

"We got Dave to use the toilet as an adult for the first time ever! The whole family was there cheering him on. He was so excited he forgot to pull down his pants."

I don’t see any snacks or alcohol. What kind of plan was that! 🤣

Original Poster96 points · 6 months ago

We were told from notification we have 12 minutes to get to shelter, now that I've had a practice run I'll be more prepared next time!

LPT: Always keep snacks and alcohol in the bathroom. Lol

Original Poster20 points · 6 months ago

Now I know! Lesson learned haha

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Dear lord, the false alarm even gave you a false countdown?!

Original Poster20 points · 6 months ago

I realize the confusion here is due to my lack of punctuation. We had been previously told 12-15 minutes through multiple news outlets, so that was my own personal countdown!

It wasn’t confusion. It was just bewilderment. Giving a specific length of time until the island’s hit makes it just so much more realistic.

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No bro, need acid. You want to be tripping balls when a nuclear bomb blows the roof off your house.

101 points · 6 months ago

Suddenly, it's 1950 again.

.....Are....are we great again?

Trump's bank account is.

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Is that Jon Snow back there?

"Nuclear winter is coming"

Original Poster19 points · 6 months ago

This actually made me laugh!

Haha good. On a serious note I'm glad it turned out to be a false alarm. Still got a lot of friends over there.

Original Poster7 points · 6 months ago

For sure, if this wasn't an alarm I'm sure many more would be back over here!

Original Poster8 points · 6 months ago

Haha that's me. I've been growing it out for a while now!

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For a second I forgot babies exist and I was like “how the fuck is that person so small?”

Original Poster16 points · 6 months ago

This is hilarious haha

This Spring we will post this pic from the Midwest for Nados

Original Poster7 points · 6 months ago

I grew up near the Gulf of Mexico, I could probably find one when I was in High School from when Hurricane Ike hit Houston. It brings back memories!

"False alarm"

lol that lady's turbie twist is backwards


suddenly I was questioning if I’ve just been wearing MINE backwards all these years 😂

I thought I was the only one who noticed that! I love my Turbie Twists!

Thank God someone said something! My hair is way too long to wear it the wrong way

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Is the official advice to shelter in the bathroom? Nice shower curtain, by the way :)

54 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

Basements in Hawaii are just lava pits. Everyone knows this.

Can’t be killed by a missile if you’re killed by lava first!

Original Poster19 points · 6 months ago

That's the dream

Duck and cover kids !

Just stand on the furniture. Lava can't get you there.

30 points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

In the event of a nuke you'll want to shelter in an interior room without windows preferably a basement. It won't help you with an explosion but it might help with fallout. It will probably cut the radiation exposure in half. Exposure to 450 rads kills about half of all people exposed. So it won't save you from fallout of 1,000 rads per hour, but it might help protect you from 100 rads per hour. Rads build up. It will ceratainly help you if you are in an are only getting 10 rads an hour. Your blood changes at 50 rads.

Original Poster25 points · 6 months ago

Most houses in Hawaii have windows in every room because we don't have central AC. So we picked the smallest window!

Do you have a large clothes closet or pantry? Throw some pillows in to wait it out. Sorry ya’ll had to go thru that.

Original Poster14 points · 6 months ago

It's okay, better a false alarm than a real emergency for us. We pulled the pillows off the couch haha

If you want some nuke survival tips while being consistently creeped out, check out the UK's PSA series Protect and Survive, which was produced but never aired. Bits of it were used in the monumentally depressing film Threads.

Oh my goodness thanks for reminding me of those four days after watching Threads where I gave up all hope and wandered through life in an existential crisis

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13 points · 6 months ago

My friend sent me the warning she got on her phone while out for a run. Official advice.

Original Poster5 points · 6 months ago

That's exactly what mine said, definitely kinda scary!

Original Poster9 points · 6 months ago

That room had the smallest windows, not a lot of options!

if a missle actually hit, I don't think it would have really mattered.

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A 21st century get-together

Whats the back story to this I've been out of the loop

Original Poster20 points · 6 months ago

Hawaii got a false alarm (that we learned about after) of a missile launched at Hawaii. It's been a hot topic out here for a while, so when we got the notice we took cover in our friends "bunker"

It was actually their bathroom haha

False alarm from bad info or system glitch

Official statement is that someone "pushed the wrong button during a shift change."

Maybe the "clock out" button is next to the "we're all going to die" button.

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I think I'd drive my car into the ocean if I was stuck on an island when missile warnings go off.

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Original Poster5 points · 6 months ago

Always haha

Lol mahalo poop poop

Are you Chili Klaus?!

Original Poster6 points · 6 months ago

That's my buddy, I'm the crazy guy sitting. on the edge of the tub. Some people have described me as a Jon Snow in this thread!

I like to imagine that the center kid thumbs-downed the missile from ever launching, saving all of Hawaii

7 points · 6 months ago

I know this was just a one-off event, but these false alarms are unfortunately probably going to cause people to not take an actual emergency alert seriously.

That kid. Thumbs down, would not recommend to a friend

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This is the best news I've heard all day. Glad you guys are safe.

Original Poster3 points · 6 months ago

Thanks! We are also.

Comment deleted6 months ago(1 child)
Original Poster6 points · 6 months ago

I assume this if for my friend, I'll make sure he knows. Also, trust me, he knows.

I see Hurley went back to The Island (and finally went on that diet).

Original Poster3 points · 6 months ago

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

Can someone explain to me the protocol for sending out a Nuke warning message? How does someone accidentally do that??

Original Poster4 points · 6 months ago

The phrasing I heard "He was clocking out and hit the wrong button"

I'm not sure how that is plausible to do that, but that's what I was told.

I watched the press conference. From what I understand, every shift change they go through a check list--like before the pilot takes the airplane out. Does this work? check. Does this work?

Instead of just checking to see if the alert and system worked, someone made it "live" and the alert got sent out.

I was impressed by the way the man in charge of the emergency alert system took full responsibility and didn't attempt to blame someone else.

At a glance this looked like the bathroom was foggy with smoke. I thought the whole family was smoking a joint before the world ended.

I fucking love this picture. Way to keep things sane by injecting some levity into an otherwise bonkers situation. You really showed up for your family here, OP.

Looks like George Lucas lost some weight, cleaned up his hair, and trimmed his beard.

“Everyone in Hawaii does hang loose, right? Yea do it!”

Original Poster3 points · 6 months ago

I figured that was the best attitude haha

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Don’t know why this is making me thing of the South Park episode “Going Native”. “Out ancestors sailed here....on a cruise ship nine months ago”

3 points · 6 months ago

The missile warning kinda scared me tbh. I'm thousands of miles away, but when I first saw the reddit chatter about 2 hours after the alert I couldn't figure out what was going on for a while. After about 5 minutes of reddit/googling the online consensus was that "missile warning issued, but nobody in danger". Did we lose a missile again? Or Trump pissed off North Korea and they shot us but missed? I honestly couldn't find an answer to dismiss the possibility for a while. With our current political climate, i feel that's totally plausible. It took 10+ minutes of research to find out there definitely was no missile in the first place.

I just experienced "world war 3 can't possibly have started just now... Right? That would be crazy, but I could totally see that happening. " I feel like America is reliving the cold war era and it's been going on for a little while now with North Korea and Russia both in the mix of drama. But I think that we're far from the peak of it. That's what scares me.

The bathroom is the safest place in the house when a nuclear warhead hits.

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