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Aziz Ansari accuser didn’t approach Babe.net with story - Babe sought her out by GotAGripCameEquipped in television

[–]Pacify_ 599 points600 points  (0 children)

.. In September 2017, conservative media mogul Rupert Murdoch's company News Corp invested £4.6 million ($6.3 million) in Babe's parent company, Tab, making it a minority stake holder.

Yikes

Aziz Ansari accuser didn’t approach Babe.net with story - Babe sought her out by GotAGripCameEquipped in television

[–]TheLongLostBoners 2205 points2206 points  (0 children)

Edit: direct YouTube link to video. Thanks, u/imforit

And that would be Ashleigh Banfield of HLN (formerly at CNN). Here's an article with video as well

A quote from the article, quoting the email Katie Way sent:

Banfield then read an excerpt: "Ashleigh, someone who I'm certain no one under the age of 45 has ever heard of … I hope the 500 retweets on a single news writeup made that burgundy lipstick, bad highlights, second-wave feminist has-been really relevant for a little while." 

Video is definitely worth a watch as Banfield shuts her down with straight up class.

Aziz Ansari accuser didn’t approach Babe.net with story - Babe sought her out by GotAGripCameEquipped in television

[–]Seede 388 points389 points  (0 children)

I brushed arms with Aziz once. Probably going to wait 20 more years until he has more money to report him though.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Shift84 3035 points3036 points  (0 children)

The next sexual encounter he has is going to take forever.

Do you consent to me touching your leg?

I consent to you touching my penis.

Do you consent to me fumbling my way through opening your bra?

Are you sure? Like, really really sure? No don't shake your head, say your answer.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]stesha83 16.4k points16.4k points  (0 children)

I for one am shocked that sex with Aziz Ansari is awkward.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]ThebadKevin 122 points123 points  (0 children)

"this is when I felt pressured to blow him" #metoo #azizdidntletmechoosethewhine

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]ACaffeinatedWandress 53 points54 points  (0 children)

So this is what the millenial wave of feminism looks like. And here I was worried it would smack of whiny, college girl entitlement.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Hoho_angel_fedEx 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Holy shit are you serious? Any woman who goes to a man's house gets what's coming to her? Is this a real comment? This is like that "what was she wearing" shit. Fuck you, honestly. Get all the male approval you need by throwing rape victims under the bus. & no, I'm not talking about Grace or whoever, although she did fucking say many many times that she did not want to go further, that she did not want to feel forced, yet he did not stop. He didn't assault her but he did NOT respect her wishes whatsoever, or act like a decent, empathetic human at all.

But I'm talking about all the women who have been sexually assaulted, who are apparently to blame because if we'd all just take your little precautions, we'll never be sexually assaulted! If we are, we musta been doing something wrong. Doesn't matter if the dude doesn't listen to a fucking "No" or stops you from leaving. Rapists don't exist. You did something wrong!

Oh, like, for example, when I was walking home from work at 18 in broad fucking busy daylight at 3 PM and a grown dude decade older than me asked if he can kiss me, I say no, he grabs me and does it anyway, then follows me to the metro to throw condoms on the ground in front of me. No one does anything to help, either. I don't think I broke any of your neat little rules, so would you be nice enough as to tell me what I did wrong?

Oh! or when I stayed over at my ex's house, after we had dated for 6 months, and I'd stayed over a thousand times before, and he'd never forced me into anything, he'd literally fucking said to me "I respect you too much to ever force you into anything," and I explicitly told him that day over texts and verbally "I am not going to do anything with you tonight," he said that's fine, and when I came over he still grabbed me and physically forced me into stuff until he came, despite the fact that I said no repeatedly, despite the fact that I was already crying over something else. Why oh why didn't I just stay home? Unlike Aziz, as a female, I do have the responsibility to read minds.

Oh, or my sister's friend, who was raped on a fucking subway car. Why did she think she had the right to ride that subway? Doesn't she know "no" is the magic word? No guy would ever blow that off!

Or another girl I know, who woke up giving a blowjob after passing out drunk at college. What a dumb whore, right? Why would a lady ever get drunk in the company of men. She's just asking for it. Men are animals, after all, aren't they? Isn't that what you're saying? Don't walk into the lion's den?

I'm actually gonna give you an interesting situation: I had just turned 18, I was going through a rough break up. I had a 23 or 24 year old friend who was clearly interested. I told him straight up face to face, "I'm going through a break up and I don't want anything at all. I think you do, and I don't want to lead you on." He said "Nah I just wanna get to know you as a friend." So I believed him. I had hung out with him before and he hadn't tried anything, so whoop de doo. Oh guess what, I hung out with him and another male friend a couple days later at a public park around midnight. Funny enough, our other friend abruptly had to leave, so it was just me and the dude. He started groping me. I kept stepping away, he kept pulling me towards him. He asked me if I was uncomfortable. I was fucking scared because it was dark outside and he was bigger than me, and because he'd fucking pause whatever he was doing whenever anyone walked anywhere near, as far as 200 fucking feet away, which doesn't fucking look good. So I said, "Yea sort of." Hmm he didn't stop. Finally after half an hour, when he said, "I'm gonna kiss your neck" I said "No" and pushed him off and he stopped. So no, he didn't assault me. But was he wrong? Was I wrong to be upset at him? A just turned 18 year old trusting her friends, had explicitly laid out what she did not want, and he claimed to accept it, and when he didn't she was scared of what could happen in an empty park in the dead of night with a guy who clearly didn't care about what she wanted? Or was the grown man lying to a teenager to get her alone in a park, ignoring the fact that she'd explicitly said she didn't want to do anything, ignoring it when she said she feels uncomfortable, was he wrong? Cause sure, I broke your little rules, I went somewhere with a guy, didn't expect to be alone though, I didn't say the words "no" or "stop" until the end, and I didn't leave, because I knew he wouldn't let me. But I sure as hell made my intentions clear.

What a genius you are. You should go teach a group of rape victims what exactly they did to bring this upon themselves.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Farahsway 7689 points7690 points  (0 children)

Show me on the doll where he made you watch Seinfeld.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]stugots85 3214 points3215 points  (0 children)

Addiction to outrage.

EDIT: Wow, I've never gotten gold before. I need to be honest that I'm sure I did hear or read someone else say something like that, so I think I can't take all the credit.

Also, to clarify my own stance and because I know that like anything, people use things to fuel their own viewpoint (daggon leftists ARE addicted to outrage, MAGA!), I am extremely left.

There are absolutely things people should be outraged at, like getting paid a fair wage, the dogshit "president", and massive wealth inequality. Because the powers that be would be really frightened of people standing up for those, I think to an extent, outrage at stupid shit is tolerated, promoted and maybe even facilitated.

Have a good day.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]B33TL3Z 101 points102 points  (0 children)

hours of sex we could have been having

Bold claim.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Joba_Fett 16 points17 points  (0 children)

She FELT deeply uncomfortable. She ATTEMPTED to voice her HESITATION. She didn't communicate any of this. When she did, he stopped. "Many feel like saying no is awkward too." So what?? I would much rather have a moment of awkwardness that can be dealt with come across than something like sexual assault.

Guys are not wired the same way you are. We are told we have to be dominant, we have to initiate, if we haven't had sex by the time we're out of high school then we're not worth the skin we're in. We're told women play hard to get, and many do. But we have no experience with what is "hard to get" and "god I hope he gets off of me can't he tell how uncomfortable I am?" We are not raised with the psychology and nuances of behavior in mind. We're still very much cavemen. We want thing. We go get thing. Thing have sharp teeth and claws. Me no want thing no more. In this case your explicit instructions are the proverbial "sharp teeth and claws". Tell us no. Be clear. Men do not communicate nonverbally often if at all because we're not really allowed to have feelings and emotions let alone show them. Is it a problem that men are raised with this thinking? Yes. Should we change this? God yes. Should we punish men for crossing boundaries when they didn't know where they were? I say no.

Understandably there are certain exceptions. Some lines like forced penetration, forced groping, etc. should never be crossed. Sort of like how there's a difference between a "Keep Away" sign hanging in front of a rabid den of bears and one hanging in front of a sidewalk of wet cement. One is obvious. The other is an appreciated warning.

As someone who has said no and pushed away and fought only to have it continue, I really do understand how important and critical this subject is. But as a guy I also know that we don't understand much nuance or subtlety when it comes to physical love and in this case a word or two of assistance would be very helpful to keep all parties happy and healthy.

I hope I helped shine some light on this issue, even if you didn't agree with me.

Edit: Added paragraphs at the behest of my gilder. Thanks again, I'm honored!

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]jonahedjones 16.5k points16.5k points  (0 children)

They were going for oysters. You drink white with oysters.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]reluctantclinton 26.5k points26.5k points  (0 children)

I’m so glad that most people seem to realize there’s a huge difference between Aziz’s admittedly awkward, boorish foreplay and Harvey Weinstein. It’s dangerous to act like women have no agency. That’s the opposite of empowerment.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Left_4_Bread_ 21.4k points21.4k points x2 (0 children)

I gave him obvious non-verbal cues

Like sucking his dick?

EDIT: Jesus Christ this blew up. Thanks for the gold, guys. Just for clarification on my part, if you don't think the girl is in to it you should back off. Its only fun if both people are enjoying it.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]snakebit1995 15.7k points15.7k points  (0 children)

It's nice to see a lot of people drawing a line on this, while this whole movement is mostly good it's being taken out of hand in some cases and it's good to see that people are being supported and those making outlandish and unfair claims are being given a rightfully skeptical eye.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]bracake -315 points-314 points  (0 children)

Women are socialised to be nice and accommodating. So many women feel like they can't say 'no, fuck off' (and to be fair if they did that could mean that the guy hits them, its not unfounded behaviour). Although I do want women to feel confident enough to know that they can leave a situation and that it doesn't make them a bitch, it doesn't mean Aziz gets off scott-free. If I was hooking up with someone and they blatantly weren't into it, I wouldn't take that as a sign to continue. I'd want enthusiastic consent before anything happened, pressuring people into sex isn't okay.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Downbound92 -72 points-71 points  (0 children)

Again, if someone is responding to your moves by telling you that they would hate you if they had sex with you, that is a clear indication of discomfort. And you should know to stop. Men and women will try to defuse these uncomfortable situations by just doing what is expected of them. It's wrong to exploit that by badgering people for sex after they've expressed their discomfort.

Ansari isn't getting lumped in with the rest of the MeToo situations, except by people saying "Ansari shouldn't be lumped in with the rest of the MeToo situations". But, it's wrong to use the difference between this incident and what Harvey Weinstein did as an excuse to dismiss this story entirely.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Virtual_Messiah 36.4k points36.4k points  (0 children)

He didn't even ask what kind of wine I preferred.

Wish that was a joke.

Aziz Ansari Is Guilty. Of Not Being a Mind Reader. by Eurynom0s in television

[–]Shalabadoo 24.4k points24.4k points  (0 children)

I do like that we are at the point where a horny guy and a timid girl having a shitty but consensual sexual experience is considered shocking news. In the age of outing serial rapists, it's almost insulting that this is considered newsworthy

'we were sitting naked on his couch and I thought he would rub my back but instead he pointed at his dick and I started sucking it even though I kinda didn't want to' Give me a fucking break. Calling this anything close to assault infantilizes grown women as if they can't make choices. It is the opposite of feminist

EDIT: that's not a quote from the article, it's paraphrasing her account of the event

The Humiliation of Aziz Ansari by jb4647 in television

[–]lisbethborden 1374 points1375 points  (0 children)

I think the problem with this date is it meant more to her than him. He just wanted a hook-up, and despite the cues he gave (not talking much/not connecting during dinner; rushing back to his place), she probably went along because she still held hope he would really like her, that it wouldn't be just sex.
I had a few dozen dates like this in my 20's, before I became knowledgeable enough to read a guy's level of interest in me, and confident enough to say no to any date w/ a sex-only dude when I was looking for a real boyfriend. I'm not blaming her for being naive, I'm saying that unfortunately this 'date or hook-up' confusion happens a lot from both sides, especially in one's early 20's. I gave a guy divorce-pity-sex once, he called me 5 years later because it meant so much to him, and I couldn't even remember his damn name! It really hurt him, but I had assumed he knew. There's where the troubles start, in assumptions without communication.
Aziz' problem is he probably assumed she knew what it was. Especially in this situation---if the closest to a hard no that she gave early on is 'I don't want this to feel forced', then sucked his dick, I understand why he thought she was okay.
I think she has a lot of remorse that she went along with stuff she didn't want, in hopes that he really liked her. Her feelings were hurt, but ultimately this story ends with him allowing her to easily leave when she finally gave an understandable NO. I've been in attempted date rape situations, and this just isn't it IMO.
ETA: Lordy, I gots my first gold! I'm humbled. thank you, reddit friend!