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Thanks to the night class for illiterate adult Lucy attended every weekday, she can now perfectly spell words on her first try!

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3.3k points · 7 months ago

3 labels for glasses. On the same windowed cabinet. Clearly displaying glasses. Congrats lucy.

Maybe she gets confused when she's not wearing her glasses.

She should label them.

255 points · 7 months ago

Then keep them in a case.

Made of glass.

181 points · 7 months ago · edited 7 months ago

Then label the glass glasses' case: spectacles.

Then put it on a glass shelf, and label the glass glass glasses' case shelf: spectacles case

Lucy suffers early onset severe Alzheimer's

She makes a spectacle of herself every time she tries to label something

If she made spectacles, doesn't that make her an optometrist?

Actually optometrists just check your eyes. Opthomologists make spectacles.

She made spectacles out of herself, so she would be spectacles

I hear she suffers from a rare disease that curses her with glass bones and paper skin

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Unexpected r/WordAvalanches

Or to save on labeling, I'll poison him with this!

dead body

Police: "why did you label your husband's body?"

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I am in a glass case of emotion!

9 points · 7 months ago

She should then label the label, as "label".

Shit what about the chalk? She needs to label the chalk too... "chalk: do not eat"

She's actually telling her family that she needs glasses but they don't understand.

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Hey, I'm proud of Lucy. Adult illiteracy is very difficult to overcome. I'd show off, too

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I think she may need glasses if she can't see what's in the glass cabinet with glasses.

She must also be mute! Someone get her her goddamn glasses already!

The really odd thing is she finished writing the label on the "e" in "glasses."

I'm convinced these commercials are designed like phishing emails to weed out all but the absolute dumbest motherfuckers on the planet, likely because there is some exorbitant hidden cost or recurring fee that these companies hope will go unnoticed.

The labels are for blind people who can't see through the glass, obv.

It's for short people

I don’t know what the label in the middle says, but it’s not just glasses. It takes up two lines. Maybe it says more glasses.

Labels like that aren't for when the cabinet is full, it's for when the cabinet is empty.

1 poorly written title. On a gif about adult illiteracy. Clearly displaying irony. Congrats OP.

Leave Lucy alone. It took her a long time to figure out the proper spelling of glasses and she wanted to show it off a little.

Must be a government job.

How often does she rearrange items in her cabinet that she needs an easy way to re-label the contents?

cmon it’s not like she’s blonde...

I’d just use a label maker. Those things are so handy!

Well no maybe it's distinguishing the number of glasses. For example it could be a glass or some glasses. Or they are pronounced in her language to make things easier aka visual learning.

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That wrist flip should've summoned some kind of demon

123 points · 7 months ago

I’d love for someone to add a Dremora Lord to her right after she does that.

Yes!! Lmaoooo

Exactly! Thanks for this.

An attempt was made.

22 points · 7 months ago · edited 7 months ago

Ive fought mudcrabs more fearsome than you!!

Edit: more fearsome

More fearsome*!

It's a small detail, but very important!

Fucking lol

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"Not leveo-SAAA" my pants.

Ha-haaa, dangly parts.

Harvey birdman, attorney at laaaaaaawww

Did ya get that thing I sent ya?

Cookies on dowels!

I will shrink you.

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Now! That should clear up a few things around here!

164 points · 7 months ago

Day after day her husband would point at the shelf and say, "Honey, hand me a cup." This would infuriate Lucy, who insisted that they were actually glasses, not cups.

I had a customer pull that one on me, once.

I was working as a barista, guy comes up and asks me for an empty glass. So i grab a mug from the pile that's near me (the only dishes anywhere near the barista station are mugs).

I hand it over with a smile. He doesn't even go to take it, just looks at me with a fucking snarl. "I said a glass, not a cup."

That was 8 years ago, and i still hate that douchebag.

32 points · 7 months ago

I’m sitting here planning all the horrible things I’d do everyday to a special glass set aside only for him.

Special what?

30 points · 7 months ago

I resubmit with humble apologies:

I’m sitting here planning all the horrible things I’d do everyday to a special transparent or translucent container or vessel formed by various amorphous materials, typically a mixture of silicates, from a melt by cooling to rigidity without crystallization, set aside only for him. Sorry that took so long, I had to find my reading.

"you're gonna wish you had asked for a cup because I'm about to kick you in the nads"

10 points · 7 months ago

Dude has a point, who wants to drink a cold drink out of a mug?

it's not about what he wanted, it's about his being a dick about it

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I drank lemonade out of a glass coffee mug once because we had used all the regular glasses, does that count?

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Apparently Lucy was an illiterate programmer before the classes.

I feel like more people would reference Gary Larson if he would let his comic be legally hosted online. Get with the times, dude

Shoutout to /r/thefarsidegallery

I see what you did there.

Too bad there is no window made out of glass to see what's inside the closet

Department of redundancy department.

  • First off why is she seen finishing the word "Glasses" at the letter "e" yet the last "s" is actually there?

  • Then who is she nodding, to like she is demonstrating it to her imaginary friend?

Also, what's with that flourish at the end?

"This is some special chalk!"

"But what do we call it? How can we express how special it is by giving it a name?"
"I gotchu fam. Chalk Magic"

"Sorry? What did you say?"

"Chalk magic!"

"Aaaa..! Yes, gotchu, chalk!"

"But it's not just chalk.... it's magic chalk! It's different."

"We need show this magic chalk to executives! They will love it!"

"Okay, just don't tell them it's black magic. I don't want to have to explain why it's white to those idiots."

Writes it on the whitechalkboard and does a Cisco Reveal

This is just the dress rehearsal in her empty kitchen. She's practicing for the main event tomorrow night when all her friends and family will be in attendance.

She put the G and the S in first and filled in the rest so that it would be spaced evenly to fill out the entire label.

Lucy.. is that you ?

... stop making sense.

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She didn't want to end up on /r/UnexpectedMulaney

Original Poster40 points · 7 months ago

Holy shit why didn't I notice that she's actually writing on the 'e'... kudos to you sir

The reason you didn't notice is because she isn't.

She isn't. She's finishing the bottom curve of the last "S" with the bottom edge of the chalk.

Your gif and my gif are not the same then

maybe you need glasses?

no I have my conta...oooooh

ok you got me

For a second I thought the same. On 10 re-watches I can confirm the 'e' is already there and she's finishing the 's'

her hand is moving to the left. no one draws e in such a way that they finish with a leftward stroke. my guess is she isn't even drawing anything. it was already drawn and they just told her to act like she was drawing it

1 point · 7 months ago

Really...who could be standing in that corner of the kitchen?

You know that old saying Lucy, "Guys won't grab asses if you can't spell glasses."

That's brilliant

Original Poster46 points · 7 months ago
97 points · 7 months ago · edited 7 months ago

this functional notepad INSTANTLY transforms into an EXCITING game board!

Yeah man, tic tac toe is so fucking hype.


360 no scope X on center!

Get rekt fool!

Yes. Because white boards are the real mess makers. Nothing like chalk dust everywhere!

32 points · 7 months ago

Sorry, I can't hear you over the sounds of my asthma acting up again!

8 points · 7 months ago

Don't forget the chalk itself, rolling around getting chalk on everything it touches. But hey, at least it isn't those dirty, messy, whiteboard markers!

The Tupperware says Vegies

Original Poster35 points · 7 months ago

She still has a long way to go...

Ive always found it so difficult to know what was in my tupperware containers previously, its not like they are see through or very easy to open. This solves so many problems!

What, you've never found that tupperware that migrated to the back of the fridge 2 months ago and wondered what used to be in it?

I love the mom waiting with the lunch the kid forgot at 1:00. Was mom going to spend the day standing there with the lunch? Is she unable to do anything but grin to her daughter?

But it was clearly her plan to hide the lunch box so she could demonstrate how helpful the Chalk Magic™ was being.

14 points · 7 months ago

Wow, it's a non-solution to a problem that doesn't exist!

Hey family, it's Friday game night! Time to play tic-tac-toe on the refrigerator.

Is Lucy giving her 9 year old daughter a bottle of vodka for her birthday?

I think we now know why Dad wasn’t in the video. He left because Lucy is a hardcore alcoholic.

And in the end they stick the thing into a board. after saying how is much more practical than a board.

Ok I slowed that video down and it does seem like she is writing the e

Someone, somewhere, thought this was a good enough idea to sell it.

/r/titlegore .You're one to talk!

How do you think OP met Lucy?

Agreed. This post is the perfect example of irony.

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So Lucy can’t see through glass?

Not without her glasses

I mean even without glass, why do you need some chalkboard to remind you?

I know where my shit is. If I have guests, just ask me. Not some tacky chalkboard.

That's some losing your mind shit to do that.

If I have guests, just ask me

Urgh, does this mean that I actually have to interact with the people who I invite to my house?

She hasn't taken the night class for seeing through glass yet.

Hack: This could be avoided if you installed windowed cubby doors to see directly inside the unit.

And what about the blind, Lucy? Did you think of them, no, you didn't! Don't flick your wrist until you get it done in braille!

Honestly the braile version could be legitimately useful.

7 points · 7 months ago

Lucy: Glass s..... oh shit, I forgot the e! Ah, there we go, tadaaaaaa!

Its fucking chalk. Its not magic. If you press a piece of chalk against chalkboard material and apply pressure and movement a trail of chalk residue is left behind. That's how chalk works.

I'm a fan of chalk markers. You just scribble away on pretty much whatever.

Perfect for Ben Garrison

Please go label the window “window” so I know too

'Illiterate adult' It looks like someone has been skipping classes

It's a very small class.

She's glass blind. Can't see through transparent or translucent objects like glass. It's a thing. Look it up. Okay, it's not a thing.

Soda Seeker
3 points · 7 months ago

look at the flip of her wrist

Ben Garrison completes his latest comic

She puts the pen back in a cabinet labeled “Pen!”

Where’s her audience? Does she do this for an empty room? Does she believe there are people with her? Is she mentally ill? So many questions.

If only I had someone to impress...

Sadly glasses is the only word that Lucy can write. Luckily it has multiple uses.

Nice to see all her friends there to see it.

What even is that nose

But but but you can see the glasses, there is a window

Before Chalk Magic came along, she sometimes mistakenly put her gases in there.

2 points · 7 months ago

Why does she finish in the middle of the word? I'm scared.

2 points · 7 months ago

I wish there was a way to know what's in those cabinets.

Life’s greatest mystery sir, but I think a dirty bomb could be lingering in that super opaque cabinet door??

Product: Chalk Magic - A sticker-backed, flexible chalkboard.

Having finally imprisoned the vessels of her latest vice, Lucy adds wine glasses to her labeled collection. Elsewhere in the house, you'll find padlocked medicine cabinets labelled "Pill bottles" and rifle safes labeled "revenge"

And just like that my crippling OCD is quenched for the day!

this is why we don't skip classes lucy.

Seems to me her “glasses” labels came pre-written. All she had to learn was how attach them to the cabinet and then tap with her magic pen and voila!

aaaaaannnnd SHOOPDAWOOP

Has nothing to do with the night classes - she simply activated "THE CLAWWW!" You're scared of the claw.

She wrote the E in glasses last. No, she didn't write it correctly on the first try.

Looks like a good way to ruin a nice kitchen.

Or she can look through the fucking door

I think we know that's where the glasses go, considering they are 100% visible behind transparent glass.

Idiot that's a plack smh

for illiterate adult

Looks like Lucy isn't the only one who needs a night class.

Looks like an animation from robot chicken at the end.

Dog I need the literacy master when I’m too inebriated to do simple literature. Real talk

I still did not understand that Lucy was visiting

Look at the flick of the wrist

Whoever wrote this title is also illiterate.

I love this sub.

Bitch the cupboard has fucking windows. You don't need to label it.

Also who the fuck would label their cupboards at home.

Do you think Lucy stuffs? Her boobs go up pretty high.

Hi, r/all person here. What is the point of this sub?

Who is she showing off to?

I’m curious as to what makes the chalk magic. I must investigate cause it looks to me like she’s writing on chalkboard stickers so where ya the magic?

Lil Pump should take this class, then maybe he’ll know the difference between North and South...

Why would you label cabinets when you can see right through the doors?

I wonder what went through her head IRL... "Yep. This is chalk alright"

Do we still say retarded?

I would never of guessed there were glasses in that cupboard had she not written it on the door


This sub makes me laugh everytime

Chalk Magic is simply a sheet of black rubber. The magic is in the marketing.

Good thing she left that space between the last two S’s, would’ve been screwed when she realized she forgot that e!

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