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Karen's husband noticed her showers were taking longer and longer. He didn't mind because for some reason it seemed to make her really, really happy.

199 comments
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level 1

So it's a...chest polisher?

level 2
878 points · 1 month ago

Depends on how creative you want to get.

level 3

You spin me right round, baby...

level 4

when i was a kid i was terrified of scorpions

level 3
59 points · 1 month ago

Jet Pilot Eyes I hear you say??

level 3

Down to the genitals it goes!

level 2
614 points · 1 month ago

Karen got the shiniest tittys now.

level 3
Comment deleted1 month ago(4 children)
level 4

Do they bring all of the boys to said yard?

level 5

Even the gays.

level 6

Damn right.

level 6

Especially the gays. They thought they were pecs.

level 3

That forward tilt she does. She wants you to look!

level 3

Is it tittys or titties? This will haunt me until I know for sure...

level 4

Titties

level 2

In the same way Hitachi's Magic Wand is a massage appliance.

level 3

When I was a kid, I thought it was legitimately just for massages. I put one on my back when they displayed them in stores. shudders

It did feel really nice though. I'd buy one just to massage my back if people didn't think I used it to orgasm.

level 4

Try not giving a shit.

And girl, get yourself a good vibrator. Seriously.

I don't know where you are in the world, but among the many dodgy Magic Wand imitations that have appeared since Hitachi spun or sold the thing off to protect their image in Western countries, this might be a good one.

level 5

I... Have a friend... Who swears by the Lelo ones. They have such a nice, modern design, are wireless and are very quiet!

level 6

Lelo

Some googling revealed them having many designs, leaving me none the wiser.

level 7

Sorry, I was still talking about wands :) they have a wand design. It's called Smart Wand :) it is a pricier design but definitely worth it!

level 8

Thanks. I found it. I'll keep that in mind. The naming games are funny, btw. They've a small variant as well, but they're calling that the Medium and this one the Large, when really the size of this is comparable to the original. It's like they went to the Starbucks School of Marketing and General Bullshittery.

level 9

So I have mine for a few years and I swear they changed that fairly recently. I think I last googled these like a year ago and I noticed the medium/large thing. I feel like it was different when I got mine...? Or I'm just tricking my brain into remembering things wrong.

I did a bunch of research at the time and i think the "medium" one is a bit more buzzy while the large is definitely rumbly. The top part is soft but with a firm core with like a flexible neck. Check if it's waterproof, I think it is but I never tried that haha

And it has the "smart" buttons with some really cool modes :)

I expect the naming thing is a psychology/marketing thing. It is pretty ridiculous but eh, whatever :)

level 5

The spin-off brand is Vibratex. Same construction etc., just distanced from the Name Hitachi.

The cordless one has four different intensity settings, a few vibration patterns, and lasts 2+ hours.

The only negative imo is that they cheaped out on the changing controller; usually a half-decent piece of electronic equipment has a regulator which cuts off the power supply to your precious electronic equipment (which is why you can leave your phone on charge all night without waking up to an explosion and why you can leave your electric toothbrush on charge all the time and it doesn't kill the battery life.) All this means is that the cordless magic wand has to be watched carefully to ensure that it doesn't overcharge or you'll end up killing the battery. Use a timer, set a timer on your phone, or just be careful when recharging it.

That small issue aside, it's pretty great even as a rest-of-body massager.

8/10

level 6

Thanks. Obligatory nitpick:

the changing controller

*charging

Also, the charging issues might be a reason to go for the cord-powered one. Caveat emptor.

level 7

Oh thanks for that, that would be the combined effect of auto-incorrect and my terrible allergies to proofreading flaring up again.

The battery operated one works while plugged in so, imo, if there's nothing between the two you have little to lose from the battery version because in the worst case scenario you'll find yourself tethered and you will probably still be able to get 5-10 mins of life out of the thing even with a sorely abused battery.

...but I'm no expert, so take my advice with a pinch of salt.

level 8
2 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

I would take Big Clive's advice, because he IS an expert, but I think all the vibrators he's taken apart on his channel were cheap knock-offs. Unfortunately I'm not rich enough to just send him an Original Magic Wand to tear down and review. Maybe someone else is? It would make a good follow-up video to this one.

PS: This, btw. is the PIFCO Electric Vibratory Massager he mentions in that video.

level 2

“Jamie, pull up that article about woman using bathroom chest polisher”

level 2

We call it a buffer,

level 3

Buffer? I hardly know her!

level 2

Is that for the entire body?

level 3

"His entire body shone like the oiled cleavage of a supermodel. Clearly, he had taken his chest polisher and set it to the next level. Karen could not be more amazed."

level 4

Yes, tell me more

level 2

There is zero chance anyone bought it for this purpose.

level 3
52 points · 1 month ago

It's an abrasive surface. I don't think it would work for that kind of pleasure.

level 4

Don't shame my kink.

level 4

Your lady likes it rougher than you think.

level 5

Indubitably.

level 4

On one end. The other end, not so sure.

level 3

...I bought a face polisher for this purpose. Am I just dumb?

level 2

Chest exfoliater??

level 3

Time to hit QVC with that.

level 2

No, it's a muff buffer. Didn't you read the title?

level 2

Anything can be a chest polisher if you're brave enough.

level 2

Or rod polisher

level 2

Is it ok to use it on Richard?

level 2

Bust Buffer

level 2
[deleted]
-3 points · 1 month ago

i just fell off my chair and pissed myself laughing

level 3

damn, bruh. Don't ever go to a comedy show, you might not come out alive

2 more replies

level 3

haha

level 1

Not real proud to admit I bought one of these. But it was from a discount store for about $5 long after the TV popularity

level 2

Well, how does it perform?

level 3

Kind of rough honestly. A little uncomfortable for me.

But it does what it claims and comes with a bunch of different brushes to change out

level 4

Well what does it claim to do?

level 5
107 points · 1 month ago

It's basically just an automatic scrub rock for dead skin and such

level 6

So it would be amazing for the feet of people who stand all day?

I kind of want one for this reason. You’re making a great selling point for my big toe and heel right now. But I ain’t got titties, so thats out.

level 7

Yeah dude. They have a pumice attachment also. Take a soak and go for it.

level 7

You can get those automatic Scholl ones for £10 on Amazon every now and again and those are really good.

Wouldn't advise use on tits though

level 8

Some people are into that.

level 7

Back when I had a more labour intensive job I wanted to take a belt sander to my foot, I feel like it would be better than sitting in the tub for hours with a pumice stone.

Then again, I just filed down my gel nails with a dremel lol

level 8

I wax with duct tape. It works beautifully and costs next to nothing compared to wax kits.

level 9

FirstWorldProblems I can't wax with duct tape because my hair is too thin and soft. Also it grows really slowly so I only shave my legs like once a month maybe.

level 10

Get an epilator. It's a big upfront cost but you get years of hair removal out of it.

level 9

Ive tried this and it never works wtf

level 8

Wait wait wait!? Like a wood Dremel or a nail Dremel!? Plus you can soak of the gel just as fast by soaking some cotton in acetone. Place cotton on nail and then wrap in alluminum foil wait 5-10 minutes and it will peel right off.

level 9
8 points · 1 month ago

Super damaging to the skin and nail though, acetone sucks. I file my gel polish off and use normal remover (not 100% acetone) to get the rest. (if this person is talking gel acrylics then...yeah, electric shit is needed lol)

level 10

Acrylic like the plastic nails? No I mean the shit they cure in uv light

level 10
2 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

We have not heard acrylic gel I am guessing you mean like a hard gel? A good amount of sculpting gels can soak of once you file it enough. I find soaking in acetone to the over all better for the nail exspecially if you are filing your self.

A Dremel exspecially can get hot fast and burn you! I have had many clients with permit damage to their nails and some even had scares from someone hitting their skin with one. If you burn your nail matrix it can even cause your nails to stop growing, or to cause you to have your nails grow with bumps and ridges. Acetone may seem a bit harsh but it's not as bad as it is made out to be when used properly.

When gell polish is removed by soaking it will simply crumble off the nail causing no damage. You just lightly scrap or push the broken down product off the nail. The acetone is breaking down the product not the nail. Use cuticle oils afterwards if you want to ensure that the skin is staying hydrated. Your nails once grown is dead skin like your hair. The cuticle oils on the grown nail just help to keep the nail flexible, which is great to prevent breaking.

Essie and CND both make a acetone with added nurishing oils that you can buy from your nail tech or salon. Please help your local business out and buy local. Plus a lot of what you buy from professional brands in drug stores and online is counterfeit and the safety of the product can not be promised.

level 9

Regular Dremel I guess, the Dremel 8220. I use it for little projects here and there, but haven't on wood yet ironically. Comes with various grit sandpaper and stone. I don't want to peel of my nails though, just grow them out until my next filling.

level 8
2 points · 1 month ago

belt sander to my foot

Angle grinder with flap wheel works wonders!

level 8

Does the dead skin hurt for women? Or is just for smooth skin

Pls no hate I just don’t know

level 4

I have one too, it works really well for me. I love it.

level 5

Buff off your dead skin and oils.

level 3

She'll be back, she's in the shower...again.

level 2
26 points · 1 month ago

Ain't no shame in pressure washing

level 2

I have one too! I bought mine from Duane Reade a while ago from the as seen on tv shelf. It has two settings and is loud as fuck. And it does come with a few different caps/attachments but I mainly use the body brush. Works well.

level 1
599 points · 1 month ago

Why isn't she spilling coke in an unrealistic manner??

level 2
343 points · 1 month ago

Unrealistic?! Have you ever even TRIED to pour a 2 liter of soda into a glass while you WHOLE FAMILY sits there watching?!

level 3

One hand on the shaft and one on the butt.

level 4

go on

level 5

I could listen to this story for days.

level 3

ThErE hAs To bE a bETtER wAY!

level 4

Yeah Electric scissors has your back!

level 2

She spilled so much all over herself that she had to take a shower and use this industrial polisher to get it off.

level 2
-15 points · 1 month ago(5 children)
level 3

What the fuck?

level 4
29 points · 1 month ago

Someone's wife got a new shower wand

level 4

I think he's having a stroke.

level 3
10 points · 1 month ago

You ok? Lol

level 3

Fuck her!

I mean that's probably the best solution to this problem

bitch there ain't no be come up in this joint

There's probably some come in the shower

level 1
263 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

He also wondered why Karen was going for her 4th shower of the day...

level 2

I already take too many showers, and I don't even have a masturbatory tool in there.

level 3

Anything is a masturbatory tool if you try hard enough!

level 4

Yea!! We are all happy with that never give up/can do attitude.

Keep it up!

level 5

Unless it keeps up for more than 4 hours, then contact your doctor.

level 4

We are all masturbatory tools on this blessed day

level 5

Speak for yourself!

level 4
3 points · 1 month ago

Cacti.

level 5

Anything.

level 6
5 points · 1 month ago

Electromagnetic radiation

level 7

Anything.

level 5

skin it and microwave it, sorta like what some dudes do with melons

level 4

Odd words of encouragement were heard coming from a nearby bush.

level 4

Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough -Abraham Lincoln

That was my friend’s bio a while ago

level 3
Comment deleted1 month ago(8 children)
level 4

Most of my showers are just for relaxation, so they're just water anyway.

Why four times a week? Where did that number come from?

level 5
Comment deleted1 month ago(0 children)
level 6

If I shower for an hour at a time, should I just do it every three weeks then?

level 7
Comment deleted1 month ago(0 children)
level 8
Comment deleted1 month ago(0 children)
level 6
3 points · 1 month ago

Yup, one of my grandpas used to shower like 2 or 3 times a day and his doctor told him to stop because he was washing too many oils off and causing skin issues.

level 6

i only use soap on my armpits and nether regions everytime i shower. everyother day i do whole body

level 5

And does that mean only soap every other Monday?

level 2

And why the bathroom window was always open.

level 1
52 points · 1 month ago

"If God didn't want us to masturbate he would have made our arms shorter" --George Carlin

level 2

Never heard that quote before. I'm saving that

level 2
[deleted]
3 points · 1 month ago

I mean I would just rub my crotch up against stuff if my arms couldn't do the trick. Wouldn't be as good but it'd be something.

level 1
level 2
30 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

That's a lot more actual power washing than I expected

level 1

I wonder where else Karen is using that thing

level 2
Original Poster120 points · 1 month ago

Her over the top smile is what made it for me.

level 3

Let's dispel once and for all with this fiction that the vendor doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing.

level 4
10 points · 1 month ago

Haven't seen this one in a while

level 5

Please clap.

level 2

Probably just in the shower, since it has to stay connected to the water supply.

level 3

No it doesn't.

level 2

It’s spinning, so I don’t think that would be ideal

level 3

This guy doesn't clitoris.

level 2

On her butt hehe

level 2
[deleted]
6 points · 1 month ago

vagina

level 3

I like how you whispered it

level 2

Hopefully not on her fallopian tubes.

level 1
Original Poster24 points · 1 month ago
level 1

I know a designer who likes to point out which shower heads would be good for masturbating to his ‘fun’ clients.

level 2

Masturbating to your clients is highly unprofessional, even if they're fun.

level 3

What if they’re porn stars?

level 4

Hmm, I shall allow it.

level 1

So that's where the g-spot is! Man, I wasn't even close.

level 1

Is this an unzip moment?

level 2

No, this is an unRAR moment.

level 2
21 points · 1 month ago

Sure

level 3

*sighs* upzips

level 1

This might be used for masturbating

level 2
38 points · 1 month ago

If you're good enough, anything can be used for masturbating

level 3

I fucked a door knob once

level 4
23 points · 1 month ago

Your poor vagina/ass/penis

level 5
27 points · 1 month ago

That poor doorknob

level 6

It was consensual

level 7

Anddddd that's enough reddit for today

level 8

Consent is where you draw the line?

level 4
2 points · 1 month ago

Do you mean, a keyhole?

level 2

I dunno it's a spinning exfoliating device.. might be uncomfortable. But I'm not that creative.

level 2

It must be brunt.

level 1
11 points · 1 month ago

Reminds me of the one ad from Mad Men

level 1
5 points · 1 month ago

At first I thought the out of focus water was soap flying everywhere.

level 1

i genuinely want to try this.

level 1

Watch as I wash away these unsightly tit wrinkles.

level 1

Do the men on this post actually think women could use this for masturbating?

level 2

Yeah this whole thread belongs on /r/badwomensanatomy

level 2
Original Poster5 points · 1 month ago

I thought it was what you use before you stain yourself to protect against inclement weather.

level 3

I don't know what it's for, but every other comment says it's for masturbating. Like how would that even work? 🙄

level 4
Original Poster7 points · 1 month ago

It's probably a complex system of soft attachments and direct pressure applied against sensitive bits.

level 2

See when we start thinking about sex the logic part of our brain is sorta turned off.

level 2

Show us how it can't be used for masturbating!

level 1
level 1

Shouldnt she be using it a little lower? Or have i misunderstood for the last decade or so where Monica Geller's 7 is?

level 1

I'd hit it. With my penis.

level 1

This looks like a giant electric toothbrush

level 1

Karen’s husband betta get his ass in the shower!

level 1
6 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

r/wholesomewheredidthesodago ?

all the links are confusing me now but alright reddit.

level 2
level 2
level 3
10 points · 1 month ago
level 3

how am i lost exactly?

level 4
level 5
level 1

But Karen’s husband enjoys her smoothly polished arsehole.

level 1

If you know what I mean

level 1

Who holds a solid smile in the shower? 😁🛀🏾

level 1

He does mind when the water bill comes.

level 1

Poor guy is getting replaced by a machine :( Who knows how long before she leaves him for this dang A.I Eel on Musk warned us about

level 1

Almost like she saw a salad.

level 1

This needs to be a combined gif with some chrome rims cleaner.

level 1

i bet she uses that scrubber somewhere else

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

level 1

That spin and grin

4 more replies

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