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[–]BrotasticalManDude 3836 points3837 points  (183 children)

Everytime I read about Bitcoin, I know less about Bitcoin.

[–]jmerlinb 380 points381 points  (50 children)

Reminds me of an old quotation about quantum mechanics:

If you think you understand quantum mechanics, you don't understand quantum mechanics.

[–]CelineHagbard 104 points105 points  (26 children)

Part if it is poor reporting on the issue, and this stems even from the bitcoin community assuming the general public has any clue what the jargon they use means.

Every time you see the word "wallet" in an article on bitcoin, just mentally replace it with the word "password." (This is a simplification, but a better one). To spend bitcoin, you create a transaction in which you say your account number, what account number you want to send the bitcoin to, and how much to send. Then you sign the transaction by computing something that you can only do if you have that password, but anyone who can see your account number can verify.

So what happened in this case? A bunch of people stored their passwords with a company so they didn't have to keep track of it themselves. That company claimed they got hacked, and someone took all the passwords. So now, if you stored your password there, you can't use it anymore, and the "hackers" can.

[–]BlackSpidy 50 points51 points  (8 children)

If you have 42 minutes to kill, I find this video does a good job at exploring bitcoin from zero experience. The information starts coming in 5 minutes in.

[–]socrates1975 5481 points5482 points  (174 children)

"I’m just talking about fractions of a penny here, okay? But we do it from a much bigger tray and we do it a couple a million times. So, what’s wrong with that?"

[–]gregarioussparrow 1933 points1934 points  (77 children)

"You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear"

[–]IDUnavailable 450 points451 points  (69 children)

My favorite line in a movie full of great lines.

[–]fzw 868 points869 points  (52 children)

"So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life."

[–]DangerSwan33 265 points266 points  (14 children)

Is today the worst day of your life?

[–]fzw 242 points243 points  (11 children)


[–]mrguykloss 229 points230 points  (6 children)

Wow that's messed up.

[–]ravenQ 32 points33 points  (2 children)

Deeper and deeper...

... 3 .. Deeper and deeper .. 2 ... ghhghgngnnn


[–]norush_ 89 points90 points  (14 children)

Sounds like you have a case of the Mondays..

[–]sysopz 72 points73 points  (10 children)

 A case of the Mondays? No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that.

[–]H_Donna_Gust 65 points66 points  (7 children)

You don't need a million dollars to do nothin man, look at my cousin, he's broke don't do shit.

[–]sysopz 20 points21 points  (6 children)

You know what I'd do with a million dollars, man? Two chicks at the same time.

[–]brownbrady 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Yeah, well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

[–]_shreb_ 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Why should I changed my name? he's the one who sucks!

[–]Sinyk7 79 points80 points  (4 children)

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

[–]weilycoyote 362 points363 points  (60 children)

Oh. Okay. So you’re gonna be making a lot of money, right?

[–]breddy 273 points274 points  (47 children)


That's not yours?

[–]r_plantae 246 points247 points  (46 children)

It becomes ours.

[–]Jedi_Shenanigans 206 points207 points  (45 children)

How is that not stealing?

[–]passing_gas 233 points234 points  (44 children)

I don't think I'm explaining this very well... Umm, the 7-11, you take a penny from the tray, right?

[–]WiFiPunk 280 points281 points  (41 children)

From the crippled children?!

[–]Skoot99 213 points214 points  (38 children)

No that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray. You know the pennies that are for everybody?

[–]socrates1975 84 points85 points  (9 children)

I love that movie so much lol

[–]ChristyCMC 9344 points9345 points  (395 children)

Note to self: Spend a couple thousand dollars to start an internet bitcoin mining front, so that I can claim hackers stole $100M after enough people make their deposits.

[–]FomoPump 755 points756 points  (248 children)

Way too much work. Just fork ETH or something and start scammy ICO and then pay small fine.

[–]boxerofglass 1239 points1240 points  (204 children)

I don't know what any of this means but I'd like some money too.

[–]__PM_ME_YOUR_SOUL__ 588 points589 points  (63 children)

You never heard of the ol' fork and scammy?

[–]mhall812 486 points487 points  (33 children)

Isn’t that a dish at Denny’s?

[–]Bunchofcronenbergs 69 points70 points  (18 children)

You mean whammy?

[–]Butthole--pleasures 82 points83 points  (9 children)

Isn't that a sexual favor performed by a woman of the night?

[–]ThrowawayusGenerica 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I see you've played forky-scammy before

[–]TheBoneOwl 23 points24 points  (10 children)

Sounds like a British meal.

[–]rshanks 190 points191 points  (67 children)

Basically there’s been an explosion of crypto currencies of late, everyone wants to have their own. You can build one on top of etherium (kik has done this, for example), and sell it in an initial auction which from what I understand is just people buying money you created out of nothing.

I could have my own coin and sell it, if I make it look legit people might be dumb enough to buy it. It’s purely on speculation that it will go up

[–]karlomac 27 points28 points  (2 children)

Yeah. If people are stealing bitcoin, it must be worthy of my consumer lust. I wanna use bitcoin now!

[–]empire314 103 points104 points  (52 children)

You can make your own version of bitcoin, and other people will buy it. This has been done successfully hundreds of times.

By successfully I mean, generating over a million USD each.

[–]slccsoccer28[🍰] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

By successfully I mean, generating over a million USD each.

Just a caveat, most ICO's fail. There have a been a few very successful ICO's but for the most part ICO's fail to meet any tangible funding amount.

[–]INTERNET_SO_FUCK_YOU 139 points140 points  (12 children)

When I first bought bitcoin I was following a guide on how to do it properly and not get scammed. The site linked to a fake tumbling site. I got scammed. Lesson learned though.

[–]until0 20 points21 points  (12 children)

Just fork ETH

You don't need to fork ETH to make an ICO, you make the ICO on ETH, it's even easier. They have a website to do it for you, although I'm having trouble locating it right now.

[–]RustBeltBro 4275 points4276 points  (200 children)

A lot of people are saying that this might have been an inside job from somebody working for NiceHash. I would like to say well no fucking shit Sherlock.

[–]MusaJoker 148 points149 points  (98 children)

I was dumb enough to leave my shit on nicehash's wallet. I knew something was up with the lower barrier to deposit on their own wallet.

[–]myurr 19.3k points19.3k points  (618 children)

You can just imagine the headline writer. Now it's $80m... no wait now it's $55m... now $2bn... no back to $70m...

[–]poopellar 6348 points6349 points  (452 children)

Hackers steal [please click link to find current price of Bitcoin] in Bitcoin.

[–]ShyPants2 1458 points1459 points  (434 children)

Same goes for "Person lost [insert insane amount of dollars] in Bitcoin 5years ago "

[–]esperzombies 529 points530 points  (421 children)

Or killed themselves because of it ... :(

[–]ShyPants2 126 points127 points  (54 children)

That really makes me hurt to read. I only lost 50 in mtgox but even though i can feel it, Bitcoin come and go, it wouldnt be worth anything if people didnt use it

[–]reddymea 61 points62 points  (36 children)

I still have some dogecoins somewhere. Most of them were given to me by fellow redditors in some Dogecoin subreddit that I can't remember anymore. But if Dogecoin becomes a thing again (most probably not going to happen), I hope reddit still keeps that information.

[–]jmones 62 points63 points  (20 children)

1 million dogecoins is about 1/5 the price of a bitcoin. So about $3k as of now. So 1000 is about $3

[–]iratecmdr 401 points402 points  (8 children)

Doge coin value is not measured in dollars but in friendship so please apologies.

[–]professor_aloof 104 points105 points  (4 children)

Doge coin value is measured in doge coins. 1 DOGE = 1 DOGE.

[–]newshirt 15 points16 points  (2 children)

1 million dogecoins = 1 million dogecoins.

[–]Knaite 878 points879 points  (67 children)

Better to just mention the number of Bitcoins stolen

[–]mangongo 958 points959 points  (24 children)

Apparently 4958.676 Bitcoins stolen isn't a very good headline.

[–][deleted] 299 points300 points  (14 children)

Hackers steal 5 billion nBTC

[–]secureded 425 points426 points  (11 children)

About 26 billion dogecoins howled out in appaws

[–]another_day_in 175 points176 points  (26 children)

Readers need to know the "street value".

[–]Frap_Gadz 158 points159 points  (24 children)

I'd prefer the units to be kg/cocaine

[–]Yan_Hui 63 points64 points  (15 children)

How much does a cocaine weigh now?

[–]lurgi 179 points180 points  (7 children)

One kg per kg

[–]BurgerLaowai 29 points30 points  (2 children)

That's a big change from when it was one kg per 1000g. I think I should sell my stash!

[–]Parv_PHANTOM 44 points45 points  (0 children)

This guy here.......

[–]RemnantEvil 704 points705 points  (49 children)

It's like when you invite the downloads guy to a party. "I'll be there in an hour. No, 10 minutes. No, 30 minutes. No, 4 hours. No, I'm already at the party."

[–]Quality_since_1981 236 points237 points  (9 children)

Or he drives 90 mph to get to your house in two minutes, only to sit at the edge of your driveway for an hour.

[–]BizzyM 32 points33 points  (2 children)

99% there.... (Est completion time: 5 minutes)

[–]Petersaber 84 points85 points  (7 children)

You wouldn't download a party guest.

[–]eanx100 142 points143 points  (3 children)

In the same vein, Malaysia has a law where all monetary values in new articles need to also be translated to local currency. What makes it hilarious is every time there is an article about the rapper 50 Cent (1.6 RM).

[–]thesilverpig 7100 points7101 points  (1809 children)

man, that's got to be like a whole bitcoin. I'd love to get my hands on one of those.

[–]hinterlufer 1289 points1290 points  (108 children)

Short version: NiceHash - a marketplace for miners to sell and buy hashrate got hacked. They're out about 4.5k BTC, you can see their main wallet and the wallet the BTC ended up here.

As it seems now everyone that had BTC on their platform lost those. This has nothing to do with the security of BTC itself, it just shows once more that the only safe way to store your BTC is by yourself. You don't own the BTC unless you have the private key.

Anyhow, NiceHash did seriously screw up somewhere, it's not good practice to store all funds on a hot wallet.

Some users speculate it may be an exit scam from the owners of the site - we don't know if it's true or not.


As this has sparked up some questions let me give you a short FAQ:

  • What is a private key, how do I get one and why do I need one?

Every Bitcoin (and other cryptocurrencies) belongs to a certain address. Every address is public and you can see all transactions from and to that address with a block explorer (just google, there are plenty of them). Now in order to have control about the coins stored on that address you need a "password" - the private key. This key is secret and only you are the one who should know it. The only thing you need to have full access to the funds on a wallet is that key - if you happen to lose your key, there is no way to restore it (read below for more on that).

Now, how do I get that private key? You have to get some kind of wallet. A wallet is a software that manages one or several addresses and private keys for you. You can go to the offical BTC websiste and select one. I for myself use electrum - it's an so called light wallet which means you don't have to download the whole blockchain (all transactions ever made) and is easy to set up.

As soon as you run the wallet it will ask you to create a wallet and to encrypt it. This is very important so if someone would gain access to your wallet they can't open it without the password. A wallet is nothing else than a text file with encrypted private keys.

After you have your wallet created, you have your own BTC address as well as private key.

  • But what if I lose my HDD?

Make backups! Seriously. Back up your encryped wallet on several devices and most importatly print (or copy it by hand if you're paranoid) your unencryped private key on paper (yes, this works) and store it somewhere safe

  • I have BTC on an exchange - how do I get them from there to my personal wallet?

As you already have an address by now, it is an easy task to go to the exchange and click withdraw to send your coins to your address. Make sure you're sending the right currency to the right address (eg. don't send Bitcoin to a Bitcoin Cash address, your coins will be lost in the nether!). Maybe try to send a small amount first before you send everything if you're unsure.

  • How could someone get away with theft if every transaction is on public record?

Well they could for example send them to an exchange (maybe through some other addresses first so the exchange can't react fast enough to filter that address/trigger an alarm), exchange that for some other coins and then withdraw that. You could do that several times to make sure it's safe. You could also buy goods with the stolen BTC or have a fake store to which you send them which then would report it as regular income.

[–]theLast_brontosaurus 223 points224 points  (57 children)

Don't own Bitcoin, but why don't these people just store their bitcoin on a flash drive, or an old laptop not connected to the internet?

[–]ypAL8ixga5R1 303 points304 points  (32 children)

Probably because they a) are day trading it and want to keep it on the exchange to avoid the time it takes to send btc to the exchange wallet or b) they don't realize the vulnerability of using a wallet stored remotely

[–]aziridine86 182 points183 points  (19 children)

Also because there are fees involved with getting paid by NiceHash that incentivize waiting longer between payouts.

If there was zero fee to get your bitcoin out, most people would probably take their earnings daily or hourly, rather than waiting sometimes a month between withdrawls.

The real insanity is how NiceHash had $70 million in bitcoin sitting in hot storage which could be accessed using the credentials of a single employee, with no apparent limit to how much or how fast the bitcoin could be moved out.

I don't think anyone knows a good reason why 3/4 of that money wasn't sitting in offline cold-storage with multiple-factor authentication from multiple people required to access it.

[–]DDRaptors 78 points79 points  (1 child)

Sounds like it was a master scam all along. BTC would be the easiest currency to launder and still make millions.

[–]hangfromthisone 1027 points1028 points  (54 children)

You wouldn't download a bitcoin

[–]zomgitsduke 226 points227 points  (42 children)

You're right, but I would mine it.

[–]Banana___Hammock 68 points69 points  (37 children)

At 15 TH/s you still wouldn't have a whole BTC after 1 year of mining.

[–]DevGamesEveryDay 46 points47 points  (11 children)

Why are people so obsessed with getting full coins? At 14 TH/s you'll make about $1140 a month. If you pay $0.12 per KW/h that's ~$900 profit a month.

Who cares about getting 1 full coin. It's still almost a grand per month for basically doing nothing.

[–]changler19 71 points72 points  (7 children)

But would you shoot a policeman and steal his helmet?

[–]RedRedditor84 62 points63 points  (6 children)

And then go to the toilet in his helmet?

[–]burnnottice88 51 points52 points  (4 children)

You wouldn't deliver it to his grieving widow

[–]grpagrati 2225 points2226 points  (417 children)

I'm always saying nah.. it's too late to buy b/c, it's only for suckers, and then it keeps going up..

[–]cdwlldr 1239 points1240 points  (190 children)

You would likely have cashed in when it hit $500 and be upset about letting that go.

[–]The_SaltLife 487 points488 points  (134 children)

I specifically remember someone tipping me a bitcoin years ago on an abandoned Reddit account I found in my emails just the other day.

How would I even go about finding out where that comment is that links the bitcoin?

Also, I have been tipped dogecoin before. Is dogecoin worth anything?

edit: Followed the steps that some of you recommended I take in order to recover the account and check the Bitcoin tip. I went through Google's pain in the ass email recovery process and was able to use my main email to recover the old one. I reset the password to my account and checked it. I was 'tipped' .5 bitcoin or something. How much is that worth? I know nothing about bitcoin. Literally nothing.

edit 2: Being told various amounts - 7500 to 10,000. Idk I'm just going to follow the steps to set up a wallet and get the bitcoins for whatever they are worth. Ill check back in a little.

[–]SorteKanin 232 points233 points  (54 children)

Well you'd have to find the seed for the bitcoins. Otherwise you're out of luck.

[–]g2g079 156 points157 points  (51 children)

The seed? Do you mean the private key? I believe the bot have instructions for that. I wonder if that bit had any long term plans of skimming any forgotten coin.

[–]FieelChannel 193 points194 points  (50 children)

That bitcoin reddit tiping thing is long time gone. I remember I had 1 month to cash out all BTC from my account before they shut down

EDIT: found it! https://www.changetip.com/

[–]parabox1 137 points138 points  (38 children)

I have 15 or so from Reddit that I transferred to a bit coin account years ago, I can not find the account and I assume someone took it all anyway.

I gave up on it when bc was at 3k.

[–]chain83 126 points127 points  (4 children)

15 btc is worth the effort of reading through every single reddit comment you ever made, and digging through all your old files to find the keys for that wallet...

Unless you're rich ofc. :P

[–]MeatIsMeaty 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Nah, a quarter million just isn't worth the effort.

[–]FieelChannel 127 points128 points  (25 children)

Nobody can take them, they're probably still sitting in whatever wallet you left them ( I assumed that's what you meant by 'bitcoin account')

[–]Dragonstark 96 points97 points  (21 children)

There is nothing to support bitcoin except the hope that you will sell it to someone for more than you paid for it. - Jack Bogle, Vanguard founder

At the moment it's a stock commodity speculative asset, not a currency. People primarily use it as an investment instead of a currency.


Edit: It's like u/MutantFit said:

If you bought a coffee with BTC at 11am the coffee would be worth $29 a few hours later.

Why would you pay for things using Bitcoin, when there is a chance to make more when you keep it. So, it becomes more of an investment than a currency.

[–]pomlife 20 points21 points  (2 children)

It's not a stock because it's not a share in anything. It's a speculative asset.

[–]Hyndis 143 points144 points  (7 children)

Hindsight is always 20/20, and if you were to invest in everything on the chance that it becomes big you'd be broke by the end of the day. Most things don't get big. Most things fade away quietly to nothing. For every amazingly well performing stock there's a lot of literally worthless stock options.

This frenzy is unsustainable, thats a fact. It may burst tomorrow, next week, next month, or 5 minutes from now. Anyone who claims to know when the bubble pops is a liar, but the bubble will pop.

[–]fernguts 245 points246 points  (128 children)

Are we any closer to Bitcoin being an actual currency, or are people still just treating it as a speculative investment? If it's the latter, there's still a good chance the entire scheme will eventually collapse, and Bitcoin will join the Tulip Mania and South Sea Bubble in the history books, as an example of human greed gone hilariously wrong.

[–]playingthelonggame 445 points446 points  (48 children)

If anything we’re further from it being a currency. Steam stopped accepting it due to the high fees and volatility. I’d expect others to follow, but there really aren’t many major players who accept it anyway.

[–]kaptainkeel 150 points151 points  (5 children)

When it's going up and down by 60% (or even 5%) per day, there is zero chance of it being realistically used as any kind of official currency.

[–]Compl3t3lyInnocent 58 points59 points  (9 children)

From what I understand of BTC is it's running into a fundamental problem of scaling to demand and because of that the prices are increasing widely which also makes it's use as a currency less than optimal because why would you give BTC when it's going up 15-25% a day? And to compound the issue, because of the demand and scaling problems the fees to use BTC is going up too.

So, at this point the only reason to invest in BTC is the speculation of increasing prices. It's a feedback loop that will eventually break when the big holders decide to take their profits.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (3 children)

You have not lost anything. And that is value in itself.

[–]Illiterate_BookClub 1041 points1042 points  (212 children)

whenever bitcoin comes up, i realize how little i know about fucking basic finances

[–]imsoupercereal 1043 points1044 points  (192 children)

Don't worry most people investing in BTC don't understand it either and think its this magical money machine that will keep gaining 2-10x over short periods of time indefinitely. I just hope they don't have anything in BTC that they can't afford to lose.

[–]K4ntum 711 points712 points  (75 children)

I just hope they don't have anything in BTC that they can't afford to lose.

Expect to hear about bitcoin-related suicides after the crash.

[–]zCaine 475 points476 points  (47 children)

Expect to hear about bitcoin-related suicides after the crash.


[–]ZeJerman 84 points85 points  (20 children)

and a shit load of cheap stuff to hit the market... one persons loss is another persons gain

[–]Brobi_Wan 170 points171 points  (67 children)

I'm on this boat. I'm waiting for 1 BTC = 1mil usd or I'm waiting for it to go back to pennies. I don't really care that much if I lose this investment because that's the mindset I had when I bought it. High risk high reward

[–]Buck-Nasty 50 points51 points  (3 children)

At $1 million per Bitcoin it would be worth more than the annual GDP of the United States.

[–]Ozuf1 176 points177 points  (28 children)

that's sorta the problem though. The whole idea is that bitcoin is a -currency- not a stock. Everyone treating it like a stock is going to cause some major issues down the line when the value drops again

[–]LefthandedLunatic 139 points140 points  (16 children)

Because it's shit at being a currency as design.

[–]Ozuf1 37 points38 points  (14 children)

Yeah, but it also doesn't have a lot of acceptance as a currency, the goal of people who actually care about bitcoin as a currency are pushing for more places to accept it as a cyber currency. Wild swings like what's going on now are terrible for that.

[–]TheNorthComesWithMe 58 points59 points  (10 children)

The scaling issues are terrible for that. The transaction fees necessary to keep the network running are terrible for that. The infinitely growing size of the blockchain is terrible for that. The ability to lose it all by forgetting your password is terrible for that. The lack of inflation is terrible for that. The amount of computing power necessary to make mining profitable is terrible for that.

There is almost nothing about Bitcoin that makes it actually good as a currency.

[–]icmc 43 points44 points  (5 children)

If you have some dump it now. Even if you only have 2 or 3 bitcoins thats a down payment on a house and that alone would be life changing for most people.

[–]PippiPong 77 points78 points  (3 children)

Come join r/personalfinance and r/financialindependence/ I'm 30 and I'm really only learning about finances now. But now is always the best time to learn! =)

[–][deleted] 96 points97 points  (1 child)

Come join /r/wallstreetbets for the best advice, no bamboozles

[–]djdadi 215 points216 points  (8 children)

Just now on the front page? This happened like 3 days ago (which is 5 years in bitcoin-time)

[–]MyNiceAccount0120 174 points175 points  (94 children)

Cant they be caught if they ever try to "spend" them?

[–]tiggerbiggo 207 points208 points  (54 children)

Possibly, however they could tumble them and spread them across multiple different wallets so it would be harder to track. For all intents and purposes they are gone forever.

[–]DieByzantium 28 points29 points  (7 children)

If they spend them, its quite hard to link a person to them. They would have to spend it on some way that it compromised their identity.

On the other hand, it is actually quite hard of proving they dont own the btc. There are many ways they can protect themselves.

Its one of the risks of mining and using btc. And clearly its cause by nicehash big error of having all of it on the same wallet :facepalm:

[–]biggie_eagle 657 points658 points  (112 children)

This is good for Bitcoin.

[–]Luffydude 277 points278 points  (7 children)

I was scrolling down to find out if this was still good for bitcoin, thanks for the answer

[–]SoLongGayBowser 97 points98 points  (1 child)

Random reddit user releases five word statement. Where do I buy bitcoin from? I'm in!

[–]JeffC07 76 points77 points  (3 children)

NiceHash has always been a shady thing and people trusted it..also this happened on monday I think! The market already knows, didnt change a thing.

[–]Zookis 62 points63 points  (4 children)

Forget Bitcoin, Paddy's Pub dollars are the way to go. Self sustaining economy...

[–]luhzon89 56 points57 points  (4 children)

Can someone hack sallie mae and cancel some student loan debt?

[–]growleroz 524 points525 points  (6 children)

70 million, 85 million, 117 milion, $5.45.
Somebody stole my lunch money.

[–]N1CK4ND0 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Now gimme them sneakers too

[–]Fartmatic 38 points39 points  (29 children)

I feel like no matter how simply it's dumbed down for me I will never truly understand all this Bitcoin shit.

[–]reggiestered 58 points59 points  (8 children)

Worth 72 mil as of 8:54 am EST. edit:Worth 74 mil as of 8:55 am

[–]flashydee 73 points74 points  (1 child)

Wow, how did they carry them? WTH

[–]Trollzilla 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Don't worry the FDIC covers bank robbery.

[–]Reflections-Observer 11 points12 points  (5 children)

Why don't rich people store their crypto-currencies in cold storages ?

[–]jonstern 49 points50 points  (2 children)

100% this was an inside job.

[–]mathcoffeecats 282 points283 points  (89 children)

FDIC insurance is looking pretty good right now... I’m a bitcoin millionaire!! Oh wait I forgot my password... oh no! Looks like actually flat broke instead :(