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49.5k
Posted by1 month agoGilded1
Trump

‘Get ready Russia’: Trump announces Syrian missile strike on Twitter against ‘Gas Killing Animal’ Assad

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86% Upvoted
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5.6k points·1 month ago

Good thing we have a fully staffed State Department in case things do escalate.

Whoops

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Resurrect me now please.

Sorry, ability still on cool down

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12.7k points·1 month agoGilded1

I'd like to think declaring war on another country is against Twitter's terms of service..

6.8k points·1 month agoGilded1

Violence: You may not make specific threats of violence or wish for the serious physical harm, death, or disease of an individual or group of people. This includes, but is not limited to, threatening or promoting terrorism. You also may not affiliate with organizations that — whether by their own statements or activity both on and off the platform — use or promote violence against civilians to further their causes.

This has got to be the clearest violation of their rules that twitter has ever seen. Will they act on it?

Tbf I feel bad for their CEO/owner... "I just meant this as a small feelings aggregator, not a military telegram!"

It would be hilarious to read in the history books.

"Historians generally place the beginning if the tensions leading up to World War III around the year 2018; and while a precise date for the beginning of the hostilities would be hard to determine, the first outspoken declaration against Russia came from US president Donald J. Trump, who announced the start of military operations with a tweet on the Internet"

It's the same type of embarrassing that it used to be to tell people that you met your wife on an "online dating service". The stigma will go away very soon.

However, he's a moron for announcing shit like this on Twidder.

This kind of stuff used to be announced in Presidential press briefings, or as a message to the nation on television.

984 points·1 month agoGilded1

During his campaign any time anyone asked what his military strategy would be, he said "I don't want to tell our enemies what I'm going to do. But trust me, I have a strategy. The best strategy."

Aaand now he's just straight up tweeting his strategy.

Inb4 Trump’s Congressional hearing: “I didn’t tell our enemies the strategy, I told everyone the strategy. CNN Crooks would want you to believe that I told our enemies, which is not true.”

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Also can we think of the actual content for a second? He's also a moron for saying anything like that at all... can we please actually avoid WWIII for a little bit longer? It's funny up to some point, but then it stops being funny pretty abruptly.

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Where is that comment from 2 days ago, "10 bucks he bombs Syria by Wednesday"?

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1.9k points·1 month ago

The ultimate Wednesday meme.

"It's time to bomb Syria, my dudes".

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Are we sure Trump doesn't just find ridiculous comments from Reddit to decide how he's going to piss the world off the next day?

Isn’t there a tweet from Trump criticizing Obama for telling the enemy our military plans?

558 points·1 month ago

He also said it in a debate

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680 points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

Just browse r/TrumpCriticizesTrump/ or whatever it's called.

(Edit, got to work and found the right sub and corrected it. Enjoy)

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Trump is a very caring president. He knew that that redditor really needs the 10 bucks.

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War is young men dying and old men bragging about it.

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Ahh, the old Twitter tweet sneak attack.

Remember when Churchill was all like “Get ready, Krauts! Coming cross the Channel soon! Hitler, you baddie, LOLZ, W.C.!”

"Hitler, worst leader of all time, hates jews. Going to see huge allied invasion soon, French beaches will be over run! Sad!"

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I'm still struggling to come to terms with the fact that this is real life.

2.6k points·1 month ago

No way this has to be a simulation and the dude controlling it went 'fuck it'

Sim City, saving your game and then destroying the place.

Virtually everybody is looking at the screen yelling to "PLEASE RELOAD FROM LAST SAVE"

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Remember when Trump said that annoucing military moves ahead of time was dumb?

1.8k points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

Trump criticizes Trump.

Edit: there are two tweets that equally capture today’s ridiculousness.

link to Trump trumping Trump

Thanks to u/youcanteatbullets for sourcing

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3.1k points·1 month ago

Just posted a new tweet:

Our relationship with Russia is worse now than it has ever been, and that includes the Cold War. There is no reason for this. Russia needs us to help with their economy, something that would be very easy to do, and we need all nations to work together. Stop the arms race?

Notice how this one has proper grammar and punctuation? I guess they finally managed to subdue him and take away his phone.

Oh but there's an update..

Much of the bad blood with Russia is caused by the Fake & Corrupt Russia Investigation, headed up by the all Democrat loyalists, or people that worked for Obama. Mueller is most conflicted of all (except Rosenstein who signed FISA & Comey letter). No Collusion, so they go crazy!

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/984053549742067712

232 points·1 month ago

Democrat loyalists like registered Republican Robert Mueller

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If this was my grandpa I would kindly escort him back to bed and switch the TV to a nice nature documentary..

I'd go with the 24/7 western movie channel.

"Those were the days, Jimmy. When a man was a man. We fought injuns and won the good fight. Women weren't so mouthy and the blacks knew their goddamn place--"

"Alright pap-pap, you've just lost western privileges. It's the nature documentaries."

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Gorilla channel?

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It’s like his phone is being passed between different people who are trying to imitate him.

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It's still ridiculous hyperbole.

"Our relationship with Russia is worse now than it has ever been, and that includes the Cold War."

Dude is 71, I don't know how he doesn't remember the Cuban Missile Crisis, Able Archer, etc.

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There is no way in hell he wrote that lol

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Can we, uh, not?

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I thought that not announcing your military strategy ahead of time was like, Military 101.

11.7k points·1 month ago

Trump agrees with you:

https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/497771551887228928?lang=en

What other country tells the enemy when we are going to attack like Obama is doing with ISIS. Whatever happened to the element of surprise?

12.7k points·1 month agoGilded1

Here's another fun one, and it's more specific!:

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/373054743742275584

@walaa_3ssaf No, dopey, I would not go into Syria, but if I did it would be by surprise and not blurted all over the media like fools.

This was in 2013.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/372943068267573249

Why do we keep broadcasting when we are going to attack Syria. Why can't we just be quiet and, if we attack at all, catch them by surprise? 9:45 PM - 28 Aug 2013

1.6k points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

Got to let putin and co move their assets first.

It’s political theater after all

I never thought of that... who needs a political backchannel of communication when you can just announce everything on twitter under the guise of "saying what's on his mind"

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It's just so God damn specific.

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1.8k points·1 month ago

What a stable genius this guy is!

Strong and Stable!

Oh wait, sorry, wrong demagogue.

217 points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

What's happening with his visit anyway, is he coming in May?

Edit: word

That is not an image I needed.

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That... that must be a joke... this is so surreal ..

It's not a joke.

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You can't make this shit up

216 points·1 month ago

on top of those tweets he said in his address to the military that they would never announce what they were going to do.

On top of announcing this attack, he also announced the withdrawal.

It's lies on top of hypocrisy on top of lies, etc.

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There's an old tweet for fucking everything. What a fucking moron

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Nobody’s better at military. If he’d gone into military, he could have, he’s very smart, terrific grades, the best, he’d be a six-star general by now. Everybody says so, they ask him, “Donald,” (that’s his name, Donald,) they ask him “Donald, you know all the best strategies. Why didn’t you join the military?” And he says he would have loved to be a military, a military man, but the country needed him more at home. Look at the hat that guy’s got on, isn’t that a great hat?

Edit: I feel dirty

Comment deleted1 month ago(7 children)

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It's terrifying that I had to resort to googling to see if that was a real quote or not.

I’m literally lol’ing at this because I had to Google too. God almighty, what has this country done?!

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@realDonaldTrump: What other country tells the enemy when we are going to attack like Obama is doing with ISIS. Whatever happened to the element of surprise?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/497771551887228928

This is even better:

@realDonaldTrump: Why do we keep broadcasting when we are going to attack Syria. Why can't we just be quiet and, if we attack at all, catch them by surprise?

https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/372943068267573249?s=21

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17.5k points·1 month ago

I find it absolutely mental that in 2018, I can directly message the President of the United States of America and say "Don't be a bellend m8"

What a time to be alive.

Way, way back in the day, anybody could visit the White House and have an audience with the president. Security only became tight later on.

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973 points·1 month ago

Yep that was mental when i saw it on history channel, basically you just can go to the white house by yourself and lobby for your own cause until the late 19th century when a president was assasinated by a guy who felt the president declined his requests.

A former head of secret service once said the biggest reason that the president avoids being assassinated isn't the security but the fact that peoole hardly ever try to do it. And those that do often have mental issues and don't plan it very well.

777 points·1 month ago

That explains why I haven't been assassinated either.

It's ok, we'll do better next time.

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TIL. I do live on the other side of the Atlantic though so the fact I can instantaneously communicate with someone on the other side of the world is still pretty mad.

It's surprising to me that here in Israel you can just walk into the PM strolling through the street.

I was once walking in a street with a nice view of the North looking into my phone and I bump into someone, so I apologise.

Turns out it was Netanyahu. He had body guards of course but they didn't see me as a threat so they just chilled.

Was a really weird day after that, for sure.

1.0k points·1 month ago

So basically what you are telling us, is you are a perfect assassin? Russia's intelligence agency will be in touch shortly.

Time to activate him:.

Longing

Rusted

Furnace

Daybreak

Seventeen

Benign

Nine

Homecoming

One

Freight car

Mission report, December 16, 1991

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THE NUMBERS MASON!!!

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109 points·1 month ago

Congratulations! You've been assigned your very own, personal, Mossad agent. Our agents can make great coffee, bring you smokes from your favorite kiosks, and plant bombs in your cellphone.

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It’s definitely an interesting thing to see somebody not on your TV or a screen for the first time. They’re usually shorter than you think they are.

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He won't read it, though.

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Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!

What kind of world are we living in when this is the manner in which a US President has international dialogue about military action that has massive global ramifications. Action that is in retaliation for gas attacks on people, and which in itself will result in further deaths of people.

This is absolutely fucking surreal.

3.9k points·1 month agoGilded1

Trump runs the country in the same way that I yell at my monitor when I play Civilization

1.2k points·1 month ago

Eat that Ghandi you backstabbing Motherfucker!

-Teddy Roosevelt

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So this how the world ends. Not with a bang, but trash talking akin to a nine-year-old on Xbox Live.

1.5k points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

There's yet another tweet up, wtf is going on?

Tweet 1 (Trump)

Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia, because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it!

Tweet 2 (doesn't sound like Trump)

Our relationship with Russia is worse now than it has ever been, and that includes the Cold War. There is no reason for this. Russia needs us to help with their economy, something that would be very easy to do, and we need all nations to work together. Stop the arms race?

Tweet 3 (back to Trump, clearly deflecting)

Much of the bad blood with Russia is caused by the Fake & Corrupt Russia Investigation, headed up by the all Democrat loyalists, or people that worked for Obama. Mueller is most conflicted of all (except Rosenstein who signed FISA & Comey letter). No Collusion, so they go crazy!
https://mobile.twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/984053549742067712

No Donald, you're fucking crazy.

Is it just me or is the inclusion of the phrase "Democrat Loyalists" a bit frightening? He acts like Dems are some rogue militia to be snuffed out.

It's meant to be.

That's what his base think they are.

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Aside from the job being above his capabilities this is the main problem I have with this mutherfucker.

I'm registered Independent, but it boils my blood to see a US president acting as if members of a different political party are rogue terrorists that need to be "dealt with". We have a two party system here that has worked for 240 years by both sides coming together to work difficult solutions out for the betterment of the country. This us vs them shit has to end now.

Same problem I have with the NRA, their videos literally paint fellow American citizens as the enemy. This is bullshit. America was founded on different view points, not one lock step you're with us or you're against us brainwashing.

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He clearly has never understood the definition of the word "collusion." I'm convinced he's borderline illiterate.

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Because back in the 80s we made confident stupidity "cool" and never recovered.

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2.9k points·1 month ago

Trump: "Clinton's foreign policy plan would start WW3"

750 points·1 month ago

Whew! Dodged a bullet there!

170 points·1 month ago

Better get ready to do that on the regular

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Must suck for folks on the west coast who wake up 3 hours into "executive time"/poop tweets. You guys have so much catching up to do every day.

Also, what happened to we're not gonna tell the enemy what we're doing like Obummer?

Obama should pick this time to retweet Trump's tweet criticising him for this same thing.

Sadly. Obama isn't as petty as Trump.

its not sad is admirable. The amount of times hes had to bite his tongue is insane.

He probably just can't keep up with the Tweets, Obama probably started writing a response to one and now there are six more. He's probably just waiting for a break.

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32.0k points·1 month agoGilded1

I guess I'll see you guys in basic training.

Actually if the drill sergeant doesn't show up in 15 minutes we can go home so we got that going for us

Thanks for the legal clarification.

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24.6k points·1 month agoGilded1

No you won't. I have a bone spur in my foot.

But the important question is, do you have a rich dad?

Luckily, yes.

3.2k points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

Dont worry.

The poor will handle this, again

Edit: Yes, i too like SOAD

And Black Sabbath

2.5k points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

Its only fair. The rich already did the hard work of tweeting. Now it's time for the blood of the underprivileged to be spilled to stroke the egos of the wealthy.

It's the only way we can ever repay you, glorious Job Creator.

709 points·1 month ago

And giver of the trickle down scraps.

We should put on a military parade for our master to show him his power.

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Shit rolls downhill, it's all organic.

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208 points·1 month ago

Ah you are the fortunate son.

you know, I always wondered why this was the preferred (or at least a guaranteed) song to play back when gathering for some sort of patriotic assembly in school... does nobody hear any of the other commentary other than the "OOOH that red white and bloooooo".

Nah, we always got Lee Greenwood with proud to be an American or whatever the title actually is. God bless the USA. Pretty sure there is no way you can get that one wrong.

Another frequently misinterpreted one is Bruce Springsteen's born in the USA.

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If that doesn’t work, try shitting your pants for an entire week.

Again?

Hi Ted.

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I have a DD-214. My sentence has already been served.

I too have a DD-214 , the green weenie will not fuck me again

Comment deleted1 month ago(31 children)

What's it like being a country?

There's good parts and bad parts.

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No more company runs at 4 am just cuz the CO is feeling Moto. Or humps. Fuck humps.

No more mandatory fun days! No more field day! No more being In charge of Marines that can barley take care of themselves and function as actual human beings !

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120 points·1 month ago

The only thing I’m bombing is every drug test they give me.

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First time I'm happy that I'm too old.

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Coming from a veteran, here's a pro tip. Just say no if they draft you. You are not a slave, and they may try to take legal action against you, but just say you won't go to war. I have nothing against draft dodgers, conscientious objectors, or anybody who refuses to join the military. And neither should any other veteran, who fought for your FREEDOM. If a nation can't fight with a volunteer army, it doesn't deserve to win that fight.

I agree but then in a full out war there is heavy pressure on conscientious objectors. In the UK during ww2 pacifists weren't even allowed in civic duties, civil protection, firemen or ambulance.

Reminds me of Peaky Blinders, how EVERYONE shit on Sam Neil’s character for staying at home as a cop instead of fighting in WW1 like literally everyone else.

Or when Tommy goes to the gypsy camp and one of the guys is talking about France.

“What do you know about France? You war-shy gypsy bastard”

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You'll probably still get drafted, but you'll be doing paperwork.

And we will have to give him a standing ovation at the delta terminal

That bill burr sketch was hilarious.

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2.2k points·1 month ago(341 children)
1.0k points·1 month ago

I smell a sequel to Heavyweights!

1.1k points·1 month ago

Heavyweights 2: Fat Man to Little Boy

Bravo

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3mo fat camp does the job. Singapore effectively has a fat camp for conscripts.

Can confirm but not confirm. Joined ROTC in college wildly ill prepared and fat. 3 Months in went from 230 to 195lbs, started with 12 pushups and 35? situps with a failed 25? minute 2 mile.

ended the semester just barely passing the minimums. However never signed the dotted line.

To those curious, ROTC in college can take civilians for 2 years before you need to sign up or gtfo.

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The thing about mandatory conscription is that a government/military can lower standards or increase training time. Not saying it will happen, but if it did then there are ways they could make more people eligible.

In WWII the US Army started out with a literacy requirement. Eventually they dropped that and just tried to teach you how to read instead. I always imagine some backwoods West Virginia hill person that grew up without electricity, getting drafted, not even knowing there is a war on and being forced to learn how to read lol. Because you know that had to have happened.

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3 miles up, 3 miles down!

YOUR WEEKEND PASS IS REVOKED

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Currahee!

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Hi, Ho, Silver

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Flat feet are still considered medically unfit right?

293 points·1 month ago

There was and IDF study some years ago that showed that people with lowered foot arches suffer less foot injuries during military training, so you might not be safe.

Those cheap fucks probably want to save on insoles. A guy I know had to get his own orthotics so he could walk in combat boots. If they wanna conscript me and my flat ass feet they'll have to carry me around

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1.1k points·1 month ago

No he wants to bomb Syria but stop the arms race at the same time, for real though, does he suffer from multiple personality disorder?

966 points·1 month ago

Remember when he tweeted Obama that a war with Syria was a bad move? And that the US gains nothing from it?

Yup, now he's doing it.

@walaa_3ssaf No, dopey, I would not go into Syria, but if I did it would be by surprise and not blurted all over the media like fools.

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/373054743742275584

God, there really is a tweet for everything.

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Hillary wil start WW3!!!!

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Is our president really treating war like a WWE Jumbotron promo? The Rock calls out Stone Cold Steve Austin to build up anticipation for the Wrestlemania headlining match. We are screwed.

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Smart missiles eh? Alexa! Launch missiles at Syria!
"Lunch at Susan"

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393 points·1 month ago

This isn't the kind of diplomatic exchange I had hoped for.

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1.4k points·1 month ago

Sent a little before 7am.

Did he get up and immediately start his day wanting to attack another country? Or did he even go to sleep? He's apparently been extremely frustrated with this Cohen raid, so he might have been up all night stressing about what might happen to him and what he can do.

Fox and Friends starts at 6

51 points·1 month ago

I know the polticians in my country are heavily corrupt and dumb, but this is another whole level of stupid.

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The president's daily briefing. Which he never misses because, unlike the boring one with all the paper, it has fun hosts who are smart and nice and fun and is funny and smart.

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4.5k points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

Sooo you guys leave us out this World war? Greetings from Germany.

EDIT: For everyone who didn't get it, this was supposed to mean "please leave us out this time". Also RIP Inbox.

No Germany, you cannot join another war untill you have given back all of our bicycles. Greetings from the Netherlands.

Sorry we can't. Maybe ask Poland

sorry Netherlands, we can't give you back your bikes until Germany pays our reparations which we said we don't want several years ago, but changed our minds about recently.

Dear Poland,

tough tiddies.

sincerely,

Germany

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374 points·1 month ago

Don't we have a trademark on it? Also, pro-tip: do it without Italy

[deleted]
408 points·1 month ago

World War on hard mode: win while your President is Donald Trump and half your nation supports the enemy dictator.

Pff. Try to win a World War with Italy on YOUR side.

Better yet: try to keep Italy on your side by the end of the war

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WHY WOULD YOU WARN THEM?!
I swear to god Trump is Zapp Branigan in real life.

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3.8k points·1 month ago

World War III announced via Twitter.. what a time to be alive

I keep saying that Trump should just start a full-time Twitch stream. Keep us all in the loop.

584 points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

WW3 streamed on Twitch. Stock market crashes. Chat spam:

wallstreetbets fanshits???? SoBayed

American Marines doing anything:

NA LUL

Someone launches ICBM:

PogChamp PogChamp PogChamp

ICBM intercepted by missile defense system:

VAC SwiftRage

ICBM OMEGALUL

WW3 streamed on Twitch

Twitch chat plays WW3

people spamming nuke coordinates in chat

chat progressivly slows down

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You are joking but I watched the Washington Post stream of the Zuckerberg hearing yesterday and chat was memeing so hard.

Hilarious but also kind of scary

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When ICBM explodes:

ANELE Clap

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i would watch a twitch stream of the president and any future presidents just doing their jobs.

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I'm a bit ignorant in these matters. Why are everyone saying this will lead to WW3?

I don't get it either. It will probably result in the US hitting a few Syrian installations, probably a bit of collateral damage as well, as is tradition. Russia may indeed shoot down a couple of missiles. And then it's back to where it was before. I don't see the US and Russia going on a direct war against each other (even if confined to the Syrian borders).

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1.3k points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

I'm sure his Generals are smashing down his toilet stall door down right now to rip his phone out of his shit-stained hands...

Like, I get the purpose of warning Russian leaders beforehand; but not literally every Syrian soldier with an internet connection. They're probably evacuating airbases right now because they all just got a fucking push notification from BBC news.

765 points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

They're probably evacuating airbases right now because they all just got a fucking push notification from BBC news.

Yep.

Syrian bases are currently evacuating and moving to Russian bases.

I'm on mobile so I'll try to find and paste the source as soon as I can.

Edit: from the French la figaro

That is a actually a pretty good article. It does note however, that Syrian troops began transferring their military to Russian bases on Monday in preparation of a retalitory-strike.

Thanks

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Holy mother fucking christ. That is so clearly not trump talking.

153 points·1 month ago·edited 1 month ago

I can imagine an advisor jumping on the president, taking his phone from his hands, running away with it and trying to send this tweet before Trump can catch him.

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that's weird considering Trump threatened to pull out of Syria immediately and his Generals had to calm him down,

after that incident Trump had a complete turn around and now wants bombing, weird.

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What's interesting is Trump didn't get the purpose of a warning in the past. He complained about announcing invasions/attacks because the enemy evacuates before you get to kill them.

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I thought we weren’t supposed to be at war in the Middle East any longer? This was a core campaign promise he made.

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Trade wars against china

Bashed NATO

angering Mexico

War threat against Russia

Trump is the by far the worst of 4chan joke

Don't forget North Korea.

Yemen / Saudi Arabia.

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673 points·1 month ago

I'm still waiting to wake up from this weird dream where the US President is Donald Trump and he's threatening other countries on Twitter.

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Imagine this, if there are any history books left if this happens - There will be a picture of this fucking moron using TWITTER to well, start all of this.

What the fuck.

I like the idea of there still being history books left, so I chalk that up as a win.

For the low price of 10 bottlecaps.

172 points·1 month ago

Big Book of History (perception + 2)

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No US Internal News or Politics
2.
No Editorialized or Misleading Titles
3.
No Feature stories
4.
No Editorials, Opinion or Analysis Pieces
5.
No Articles In Languages Other Than English
6.
No Images, Videos or Audio Clips
7.
No Bigotry or Other Offensive Content
8.
No Personal Attacks
9.
No Memes, Gifs, unlabeled NSFW images
10.
No Old News Articles (≥ 1 Week old)
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