I'm very confused when you say that nothing has happened.
You just saw with your own eyes that something definitely happened. Your wife has been secretly inviting her lover over and talking about her affair with him. You're not at the verge of finding something incriminating, you've already found it.
Maybe you believe that physical cheating is the only form of cheating?
But the truth is that emotional cheating is often times much more damaging to a relationship. This isn't just her getting drunk one day and cheating on you with a random bartender. She is maintaining a secret sexual and romantic relationship with another person behind your back.
I think you should do the following:
1. Take screenshots of her text conversations and send them to yourself.
2. Take screenshots of her FB Messenger conversations and send them to yourself.
3. Gather as much evidence as you can.
4. Talk to a lawyer about your options. You need to figure out how to best protect your assets.
5. Hand her divorce papers and get this disgusting cheater out of your life.
EDIT: as per /u/Smokey347 you can get full text message access if you have access to the phone provider.
You'll note that I'm not recommending reconciliation here. I don't believe this is worth saving. She's been continuing this affair for years behind your back. He is her true love and you are her consolation prize. It would be a horrible decision to stick with her, go through emotional trauma and heartbreak and humiliation all in order to keep her your wife.
You deserve much better.
I agree but I thinks it's important to add. Do Not Confront her yet! You do not want to alert her to your actions and give her opportunity to get in an offensive position.
If you have to take some time out of the house to gather yourself, DO IT! If you need help coming up with an excuse I'm sure Reddit can help you come up with something.
What you're going through is awful and it hurts but you're definitely not the first person to go through it and you wont be the last. Take care
I did a few years ago. I realized I was an adult and could buy any toy I wanted, even those super expensive ones I could never get as a kid. I walked around for like 30 minutes and couldn't find anything I wanted.
Bro! What do you mean? They had drones!
I read the post and this isn’t my situation. I’m not trying to break out of the “friend zone”. We’re both into each other. I’m just worried about 1 distance, because I’ve never done the distance thing before and not sure how that works. And 2 how do I make sure not to ruin the friendship if it doesn’t work out.
Hey, I’m going to be visiting your city the weekend after the 4th. It’s going to be a trip with my Mom and my Son (9). This is going to be a suuuuper basic trip. My mom and son are just trying to see the sights and do the basic tourist things. If I can sneak off to a couple nearby bars that’d be a great bonus. We’re trying to avoid renting a car. Public transit and cheap Uber rides are going to be clutch. What neighborhood should I be looking at?
A friend of mine was hooked on drugs for a while and ended up going to rehab. After he got out of rehab, we’re in his car and his phone rings. My friend turned white like he’d seen a ghost and cancelled the call. He told me that he ran into his dealer (a guy we’d gone to high school with) the day before and the guy gave him a free sample as a welcome home gift (what a swell guy /s). The phone rang again. I grabbed it. I asked if this was (insert first name). He was like yea, where’s (my friends name). I asked if he still lived on (insert st name). He said yea, and asked who the fuck was I. I screamed at the guy and threatened to burn his house down and call the cops (rational threats I know /s) if he ever called or even sold to my friend again.
My friend was clean for a while after that. Unfortunately he ended up moving to another state and had a relapse. He’s doing better now but addiction is no joke.
What is a "good bar" to you? Good food? Lots of beer on tap? Decent whiskey selection? Live music? Large crowd? Small crowd? No crowd? Old people crowd? Young people crowd? Karaoke?
Also, will you be staying in town?
Good question. I’m not a picky drinker. I’m all about the music and the crowd. I’m not scared of a big crowd at all. I’m 28 so the yuppie (young post college age) crowd is perfect. Live music is a plus. Anywhere where people are drinking, dancing, talking, and not to cliquey. And also women. Gotta have women lol. How’s that?
Also, I’m staying in Waipahu but I’m mobile. I’m expecting everything is going to be townsite.
Yeah, nothing much going on near Waipahu... pretty much everything you want will be in town.
Sounds like you’d want to go to Mai Tai’s at Ala Moana. Good mix of locals and tourists, mostly everyone is friendly, and live bands play pretty much every day.
That’s a bet. Thanks
How’s this for my bio. Trying to keep it short and light hearted. Hope it comes off as funny.
Bio: Ive been called an ass but luckily I’m at a place in life where I’m not really bothered by what my parents say.
Swipe right for messages that don’t start with “hey, how are you”
Newly single, this is what terrifies me about dating. That cute guy from the party could be a murderer, you wouldn't know.
Edit: Oof ok guys I get it. I don't actually think everyone could be a murderer, I'm just mildly anxious. I promise I'm not turning away good dudes because I think they'll kill me. They mostly turn me away, anyway.
Edit 2: Jesus Christ guys. I'm not afraid of men. I was never abused. I DON'T THINK EVERY MAN IS A MURDERER. I'm literally just making a comment on how sometimes you can't tell how crazy someone is until they do something crazy. And while it's very unlikely, I have mild anxiety so I worry about it from time to time. It's all good.
Every guy is a serial killer until proven otherwise. This is what I plan to teach my daughter.