I’ve just recently started talking to this girl romantically but we’ve been friends for yearssss. She’s out of state atm but I want to send her something to let her know I’m thinking of her... blah blah.
I remember her telling me that her ex sent her a fruit arrangement thing for her birthday and she appreciated it. I was thinking about sending her a fruit thing with a note that said “I heard you like fruit” or “just because”. I don’t want to straight copy someone from her past but I do want her to feel like “hey, this guy listens when I talk.”
She’s into gardening (she’s got some plumerias) so maybe flowers with a note that says “they’re not plumerias but I hope you like em”.
As you can tell I’m not good at this. Help!
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I'm going to give you the shortest version possible but this is still going to be long. I’m putting a TL/DR at the bottom.
Names have been changed and locations are generalized but won’t affect the point of the post.
So my friend (Jane) and I have been friends since high school; about 2001. For whatever reason, we’ve never been into each other. After high school, I got married, had a kid and moved away from home (Japan) to the US east coast. Jane and I stayed tight though that time and even after I got divorced.
Recently, I went back home to Japan for a visit and ended up spending more time with Jane than I’d thought I would. Jane has been preparing to move from Japan to the US west coast and I actually thought we’d miss each other this time around. Luckily this wasn’t the case. Jane spent time taking me and my son around, visiting old friends, going to eat, just chilling, and it was great. I’ll admit after the first day I was wondering, if there might be the potential for something between us more than friends. One day I kind of felt like she was dropping hints so I tried be subtle and let her know that I was interested too. But it wasn’t until my last day there that I decided to let her know what was on my mind. She actually called out of work to spend time with us, which in my mind was a huge sign that she’s into me more than just a friend. We’re tight but calling for me to call out of work it’d have to be pretty major. Any way finally stepped to her and I think I said something like “If we didn’t live in different time zones I’d really like to date you”. She kind of blushed and was like “I’m always interested in new possibilities”. I thought that was a weird response tbh. I chalked it up to maybe her being nervous or something but I wasn’t exactly smooth either so whatever. Also, what was I expecting ‘holy fuck I was thinking the same thing youre sexy af I’d totally love to date you’. Not gonna happen. would be nice. but nah. Anyway.
Later that night, where in the past she’d droped my son and I off and went home, she came in for a drink. THIS PART IS MESSED UP! I had the place basically to myself for the night as my family was all out for the night for one reason or another. A guy friend of mine (Dick) hit my phone and asked what I was up to. I told him I was just getting back home after hanging out with Jane and he was like “ok let me call you back”. Not going to lie, I felt like me and Jane were probably going to hook up. BUT about 10 mins into us hanging out at the house, Dick hits my phone with “I'm outside!!!” WTF!! I love my homeboy, but Damn! Jane hangs around for a little while but “has to take off”. I walk her to her car, give her a hug, blah blah. But on my way back in the house decide to shoot her a text saying “I’m sorry about tonight. I had no idea Dick was gonna show up the way he did.” Then some other stuff about how great it was to see her (all true but I’ll spare you the soft stuff). She hit me back with “It’s ok. I still had a great time today and every day that we got to hang out.” There was more but the fact that she was like “I still had fun” in my mind was enough of a reason for me to think that I wasn’t crazy and we were totally going to hook up (I think I owe dick a kick in the neck for that LOL).
Anyway, I get back home to the US and she’s on my mind. I call her and while she’s talking about putting up walls in her last relationship I ask if those walls are similar to the ones that won’t let her come out and say that she’s into me. She said “we’ll that and the fact that I’m scared of losing my friend.” I told her that I don’t want to lose her either but I’m still going to try if she’ll let me. She said let’s do it. She even told me that she told her mom how she was feeling about me. It was one of the best conversations I’ve had with anyone. My head grew 10 sizes that day. It was great. This beautiful, totally amazing girl, that I stupidly overlooked for so long is into me and I’m into her. So where’s the problem, you ask…
HERE IS THE PROBLEM: I have no idea how to move from here. I’ve made it a point to at least text with here every day, which isn’t normal for us. This morning I sent here a video of me talking about some stuff and whishing her a good day. I already told her that when she gets to the US West coast in a couple months I’d like to come visit her and she sounded surprised and said shed really like that. But I don’t know how to keep things interesting from this far away. Also, I’m in totally new territory here. How do you go from “friends” to “dating” without it being weird. Last but not least, How the hell am I going to make a relationship work, long distance, maybe eventually not being long distance anymore and not risk ruining our friendship? I’d honestly be wrecked if we for whatever reason weren’t able to be friends at some point. Long story short I need help, I don’t know what I’m doing…
TL/DR: My longtime friend and I recently told each other that we’re into each other. We’re going to be dealing with distance for a little bit at least. How do I make the change from “friend” to “dating” without being weird? How do I do it from a distance? And HOW DO I NOT LOSE MY FRIEND?
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Hey, I grew up here on Oahu and am visiting from Baltimore after 10 years. I’ve gotten so used to the city life that I’m kinda jonesing to go out to some bars, listen to some music and have some drinks. What are some good spots? Please note, I’m not really interested in the club scene but I love a good bar. Any input is welcome. Feel free to ask me anything if you need more specifics. If you want to come hang too that could cool. Thanks
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