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1.2k points · 4 days agoGilded1 · edited 3 days ago

I'm very confused when you say that nothing has happened.

You just saw with your own eyes that something definitely happened. Your wife has been secretly inviting her lover over and talking about her affair with him. You're not at the verge of finding something incriminating, you've already found it.

Maybe you believe that physical cheating is the only form of cheating?

But the truth is that emotional cheating is often times much more damaging to a relationship. This isn't just her getting drunk one day and cheating on you with a random bartender. She is maintaining a secret sexual and romantic relationship with another person behind your back.


I think you should do the following:
1. Take screenshots of her text conversations and send them to yourself.
2. Take screenshots of her FB Messenger conversations and send them to yourself.
3. Gather as much evidence as you can.
4. Talk to a lawyer about your options. You need to figure out how to best protect your assets.
5. Hand her divorce papers and get this disgusting cheater out of your life.

EDIT: as per /u/Smokey347 you can get full text message access if you have access to the phone provider.


You'll note that I'm not recommending reconciliation here. I don't believe this is worth saving. She's been continuing this affair for years behind your back. He is her true love and you are her consolation prize. It would be a horrible decision to stick with her, go through emotional trauma and heartbreak and humiliation all in order to keep her your wife.

You deserve much better.

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I agree but I thinks it's important to add. Do Not Confront her yet! You do not want to alert her to your actions and give her opportunity to get in an offensive position.

If you have to take some time out of the house to gather yourself, DO IT! If you need help coming up with an excuse I'm sure Reddit can help you come up with something.

What you're going through is awful and it hurts but you're definitely not the first person to go through it and you wont be the last. Take care

I did a few years ago. I realized I was an adult and could buy any toy I wanted, even those super expensive ones I could never get as a kid. I walked around for like 30 minutes and couldn't find anything I wanted.

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Bro! What do you mean? They had drones!

432 points · 16 days ago

As a brown female on OK Cupid I used to get white guys offering to be my slave and do my housework for me. Wish I had the balls to take them up on it, tbh. I hate housework.

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As a black man on Reddit, WTF


What should I send to my Gf?

I’ve just recently started talking to this girl romantically but we’ve been friends for yearssss. She’s out of state atm but I want to send her something to let her know I’m thinking of her... blah blah.

I remember her telling me that her ex sent her a fruit arrangement thing for her birthday and she appreciated it. I was thinking about sending her a fruit thing with a note that said “I heard you like fruit” or “just because”. I don’t want to straight copy someone from her past but I do want her to feel like “hey, this guy listens when I talk.”

She’s into gardening (she’s got some plumerias) so maybe flowers with a note that says “they’re not plumerias but I hope you like em”.

As you can tell I’m not good at this. Help!

WiFi remote controlled vibrator underwear.

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Original Poster2 points · 17 days ago

Well, your username fits

With fruit print on the undies. With the message “I heard you like fruit”.

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Original Poster2 points · 17 days ago

Her: *instant swoon

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I (30M)am into my best-friend(29f)and I want to pursue it but, how?

I'm going to give you the shortest version possible but this is still going to be long. I’m putting a TL/DR at the bottom.


Names have been changed and locations are generalized but won’t affect the point of the post.


So my friend (Jane) and I have been friends since high school; about 2001. For whatever reason, we’ve never been into each other. After high school, I got married, had a kid and moved away from home (Japan) to the US east coast. Jane and I stayed tight though that time and even after I got divorced.


Recently, I went back home to Japan for a visit and ended up spending more time with Jane than I’d thought I would. Jane has been preparing to move from Japan to the US west coast and I actually thought we’d miss each other this time around. Luckily this wasn’t the case. Jane spent time taking me and my son around, visiting old friends, going to eat, just chilling, and it was great. I’ll admit after the first day I was wondering, if there might be the potential for something between us more than friends. One day I kind of felt like she was dropping hints so I tried be subtle and let her know that I was interested too. But it wasn’t until my last day there that I decided to let her know what was on my mind. She actually called out of work to spend time with us, which in my mind was a huge sign that she’s into me more than just a friend. We’re tight but calling for me to call out of work it’d have to be pretty major. Any way finally stepped to her and I think I said something like “If we didn’t live in different time zones I’d really like to date you”. She kind of blushed and was like “I’m always interested in new possibilities”. I thought that was a weird response tbh. I chalked it up to maybe her being nervous or something but I wasn’t exactly smooth either so whatever. Also, what was I expecting ‘holy fuck I was thinking the same thing youre sexy af I’d totally love to date you’. Not gonna happen. would be nice. but nah. Anyway.


Later that night, where in the past she’d droped my son and I off and went home, she came in for a drink. THIS PART IS MESSED UP! I had the place basically to myself for the night as my family was all out for the night for one reason or another. A guy friend of mine (Dick) hit my phone and asked what I was up to. I told him I was just getting back home after hanging out with Jane and he was like “ok let me call you back”. Not going to lie, I felt like me and Jane were probably going to hook up. BUT about 10 mins into us hanging out at the house, Dick hits my phone with “I'm outside!!!” WTF!! I love my homeboy, but Damn! Jane hangs around for a little while but “has to take off”. I walk her to her car, give her a hug, blah blah. But on my way back in the house decide to shoot her a text saying “I’m sorry about tonight. I had no idea Dick was gonna show up the way he did.” Then some other stuff about how great it was to see her (all true but I’ll spare you the soft stuff). She hit me back with “It’s ok. I still had a great time today and every day that we got to hang out.” There was more but the fact that she was like “I still had fun” in my mind was enough of a reason for me to think that I wasn’t crazy and we were totally going to hook up (I think I owe dick a kick in the neck for that LOL).


Anyway, I get back home to the US and she’s on my mind. I call her and while she’s talking about putting up walls in her last relationship I ask if those walls are similar to the ones that won’t let her come out and say that she’s into me. She said “we’ll that and the fact that I’m scared of losing my friend.” I told her that I don’t want to lose her either but I’m still going to try if she’ll let me. She said let’s do it. She even told me that she told her mom how she was feeling about me. It was one of the best conversations I’ve had with anyone. My head grew 10 sizes that day. It was great. This beautiful, totally amazing girl, that I stupidly overlooked for so long is into me and I’m into her. So where’s the problem, you ask…


HERE IS THE PROBLEM: I have no idea how to move from here. I’ve made it a point to at least text with here every day, which isn’t normal for us. This morning I sent here a video of me talking about some stuff and whishing her a good day. I already told her that when she gets to the US West coast in a couple months I’d like to come visit her and she sounded surprised and said shed really like that. But I don’t know how to keep things interesting from this far away. Also, I’m in totally new territory here. How do you go from “friends” to “dating” without it being weird. Last but not least, How the hell am I going to make a relationship work, long distance, maybe eventually not being long distance anymore and not risk ruining our friendship? I’d honestly be wrecked if we for whatever reason weren’t able to be friends at some point. Long story short I need help, I don’t know what I’m doing…


TL/DR: My longtime friend and I recently told each other that we’re into each other. We’re going to be dealing with distance for a little bit at least. How do I make the change from “friend” to “dating” without being weird? How do I do it from a distance? And HOW DO I NOT LOSE MY FRIEND?

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Original Poster2 points · 20 days ago

I read the post and this isn’t my situation. I’m not trying to break out of the “friend zone”. We’re both into each other. I’m just worried about 1 distance, because I’ve never done the distance thing before and not sure how that works. And 2 how do I make sure not to ruin the friendship if it doesn’t work out.

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Original Poster2 points · 20 days ago

Soooo what you’re saying is we either get married or we’re fucked. Fuckkkkk!

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Ok, so here’s the deal you make. Whoever first suggests a place to eat, if the other person nixes it, then the nixer is obligated to make the next suggestion. You’re welcome.

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Original Poster3 points · 23 days ago

That works for you? Want to trade girls?

Stolen and poorly worded.

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Original Poster-7 points · 23 days ago

You don’t have a gf do you?

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2 points · 24 days ago · edited 23 days ago

Hey, I’m going to be visiting your city the weekend after the 4th. It’s going to be a trip with my Mom and my Son (9). This is going to be a suuuuper basic trip. My mom and son are just trying to see the sights and do the basic tourist things. If I can sneak off to a couple nearby bars that’d be a great bonus. We’re trying to avoid renting a car. Public transit and cheap Uber rides are going to be clutch. What neighborhood should I be looking at?

What’s your budget for lodging? That will decide everything else

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No more than 200 a night

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Sorry, I thought you were in OH. I may be wrong. Maybe it's mango?

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Original Poster1 point · 27 days ago

Googling PawPaw now. I think (Think) I know mango when I see it and really don’t think it’s that.

It could be high school ROTC, and that is not the military.

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That’d be JROTC

I just asked supervision and they shot it down quicker than hell.

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Up the chain you go.

A friend of mine was hooked on drugs for a while and ended up going to rehab. After he got out of rehab, we’re in his car and his phone rings. My friend turned white like he’d seen a ghost and cancelled the call. He told me that he ran into his dealer (a guy we’d gone to high school with) the day before and the guy gave him a free sample as a welcome home gift (what a swell guy /s). The phone rang again. I grabbed it. I asked if this was (insert first name). He was like yea, where’s (my friends name). I asked if he still lived on (insert st name). He said yea, and asked who the fuck was I. I screamed at the guy and threatened to burn his house down and call the cops (rational threats I know /s) if he ever called or even sold to my friend again.

My friend was clean for a while after that. Unfortunately he ended up moving to another state and had a relapse. He’s doing better now but addiction is no joke.

3 points · 1 month ago

Sex. Usually with my left hand, but sometimes the right.

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Take your hand off your penis for a second and take this up upvote


[OAHU] Food/music adventures

Hey, I grew up here on Oahu and am visiting from Baltimore after 10 years. I’ve gotten so used to the city life that I’m kinda jonesing to go out to some bars, listen to some music and have some drinks. What are some good spots? Please note, I’m not really interested in the club scene but I love a good bar. Any input is welcome. Feel free to ask me anything if you need more specifics. If you want to come hang too that could cool. Thanks

What is a "good bar" to you? Good food? Lots of beer on tap? Decent whiskey selection? Live music? Large crowd? Small crowd? No crowd? Old people crowd? Young people crowd? Karaoke?

Also, will you be staying in town?

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

Good question. I’m not a picky drinker. I’m all about the music and the crowd. I’m not scared of a big crowd at all. I’m 28 so the yuppie (young post college age) crowd is perfect. Live music is a plus. Anywhere where people are drinking, dancing, talking, and not to cliquey. And also women. Gotta have women lol. How’s that?

Also, I’m staying in Waipahu but I’m mobile. I’m expecting everything is going to be townsite.

Yeah, nothing much going on near Waipahu... pretty much everything you want will be in town.

Sounds like you’d want to go to Mai Tai’s at Ala Moana. Good mix of locals and tourists, mostly everyone is friendly, and live bands play pretty much every day.

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Original Poster1 point · 1 month ago

That’s a bet. Thanks

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1 point · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

How’s this for my bio. Trying to keep it short and light hearted. Hope it comes off as funny.

Bio: Ive been called an ass but luckily I’m at a place in life where I’m not really bothered by what my parents say.

Swipe right for messages that don’t start with “hey, how are you”


1 like = 1 prayer for rainbowman

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What do we get for a downvote?

Worst song from the album imo

Whoever is singing the high pitched vocals ruins the song.

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We have different tastes. I like this song a lot. I’m looking forward to hearing it out this weekend

Original Poster1.3k points · 1 month ago

If you know anything, PM me please.

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6 points · 1 month ago

For me it would be the moment he drops his album before adressing it.

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I agree but with the only exception that he addresses it on the album. And it better go hard. Otherwise it’s an L

27 points · 1 month ago · edited 1 month ago

Story of Adidon is up there with Ether, Hit em up, and The Bridge is Over. Don’t @me

A little louder for the people in the back!

3 points · 1 month ago

I don't know which subject it would be about, but Alex Jones giving a TED talk would quite possibly be the most entertaining thing ever witnessed this century!

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Original Poster2 points · 1 month ago

I’d pay to see that!

Cake day
April 21, 2017
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