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Certainly has potential to be special

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Fucking shocking patter

I mean, that’s definitely a red🤷🏼‍♂️ studs up, through the back

Anyone at a match today? Hartlepool vs Maidenhead for me, surely the game of the day by any metric

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I’m travelling down from Scotland to the lads game tomorrow, that’ll be 2/2 home league games and gonna try and get to all of them

Ditto, don't think I'll get to every game because there will be a lot mid-week but there's a lot more motivation to try this season.

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Aye definitely, the charlton game was a good start since we actually came from behind to win a game

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6ix9ine and pump cater to the lowest common denominator which is why they're as successful as they are

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To be fair, you have to have a VERY high IQ to understand Brockhampton

Sometimes albums are good and sometimes they’re not.

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Sometimes maybe good sometimes maybe shit

Really good write up bud!

Thanks man, when abouts is it roughly?

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Want him to wipe your arse as well?

Original Poster5 points · 16 days ago

Club: Sunderland AFC

Nickname: The Black Cats (Formerly/Minor Nickname: The Roker Roar/The Lads/Coal Cats/The Rokerites)

Stadium: The Stadium of Light (Formerly: Roker Park)

Major Honours:

  • 2 Time FA Cup winners, 1937/73 (Seriously, watch the 1973 win, it's fucking beautiful)
  • 1 time Community Shield 1937 winner
  • 6 time Premier League/First Division winners (1891–92, 1892–93, 1894–95, 1901–02, 1912–13, 1935–36)
  • 1 Time Sheriff of London Charity Shield winner, predecessor to the Community Shield

17/18 Finishing Position: Fuck/24 (Relegated) (Again, Fuck)

Transfer Market Squad Value: £32.36m

Manager: Jack Ross. Managed Alloa Athletic from 2015 to 2016 (Couldn't prevent their relegation), but the REAL meat of his managing career (which is admittedly a small 3 year one, though he played football for 16 years prior) is at St Mirren. He managed St Mirren, who had been relegated to the Scottish Championship in 2014-15, and got them promoted to the Premiership in 2017-18. He's got intelligence, experience and has turned St Mirren around. He was named the PFA Scotland Manager of the Year the same year St Mirren was promoted.

Best player(s)/talisman: Oh. Oh dear. Yeah, this one is NOT a easy answer, because half the team last year were mercenaries, and hence most of them have been sold or free-transferred. That said, here's the ones to watch:

Rising Star: Honeyman has just become captain thanks to his excellent attitude. He will be important in the future, but I'm personally REALLY excited for Luke O'Nien. The guy's ridiculous at times. Watch the video I linked for him please!

What happened last season?: We completed our downward spiral, basically. The reason these downward spirals happened was fairly simple: Ellis Short hadn't a clue what football was about. The managers failed to motivate their players because they were mostly mercenaries as Sunderland kept purchasing bad players while those that were good ended up just getting poached by the bigger clubs (Pickford to Everton, Darren Bent, , and when we brought players in, we picked up failures at the PL league and tried to polish turds like Rodwell, Ndong, Djilobodji, Jozy Altidore (SERIOUSLY WHAT EVEN HAPPENED THERE), Kone and Lens. This plus the Manager Revolving Door problem:

  1. Arrived and firmed up the team, usually just before we got relegated
  2. Prevented relegation
  3. New season, new hopes
  4. Hopes dashed
  5. Manager fired, back to step A lead to an eventual situation where nothing could be done to save us.

Summer Transfer Business: We've cut almost all the mercenary p-league castoffs out of the team and have replaced them with fresh faces or pre-existing young players. I'm going to point you towards the r/SAFC Transfer Window Megathread for more details, but notable names: Luke O'Nien, Jon McLaughlin, Chris Maguire, Charlie Wyke and a loaned Jerome Sinclair.

Starting XI: Here's my rough idea. (Might be total arsecandle, so don't put much faith in it. I'm not the manager for a reason.)

Best Case: Promotion. Jack Ross says himself that the only thing he considers a success is promotion, so that's one hell of a sign.

Worst Case: Losing in the playoff final. That would hurt more than Darren Bent's relegation securing header did. And I was in attendance for that match.

Prediction: 1st. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR STEWY D'S RED AND WHITE ARMY.

What will happen to your closest rivals?: Newcastle are going to implode because Mike Ashley is a cunt, Middlesborough are going to continue to exist.

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Good write up bud! If fit tho I’d definitely start McGeuogh (or however you spell it) looks very comfortable on the ball and that midfield 3 looks very attacking and has no one that can really cover.

Original Poster1 point · 16 days ago

Thanks! Who do you support? I’d greatly appreciate it if you could write something up for your club.

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I support the lads, you beat me to it!

Meh. He inherited a shitshow that started long before him and has continued after him. Why is he the antichrist?

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Because Big Sam had us winning football matches and made us actually believe that we’d maybe get mid-table the following season, then England poached him and David ‘The Dementor’ Moyes proceeded to suck the life out of the football club

Big Sam got players to overachieve for a relegation scrap. He finished 17th, two points clear of relegation.

You won nine out of 30 PL matches under him. Three of those were against teams playing down a man for most/all of the second half, with the goals coming after the red. (Newcastle, Stoke, Swansea). That's a long way from mid-table form.

Moyes is a dour man who plays boring football, for sure, but if you think Big Sam was going to get 50 points out of that squad, you're looking through some seriously rose coloured glasses.

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We had some pretty good players in Khazri, Lens, Defoe and M’Vila and he got them winning, there was definitely potential there and could have seen us finishing 10-14th the season after

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Original Poster41 points · 21 days ago

Heh not sure, perhaps NBA fossil records will show what it was, one day.

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Have you seen these fossil records? Poured through the numbers, the figures?

271 points · 22 days ago

Why don't you just qualify for the champions league ?

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4head

Played in the opening futsal tournament at the new Beacon of Light in Sunderland and won it, pretty buzzing

you must not be in tune with the youth . A$AP Rocky is the biggest influence on fashion of my generation

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This must be a joke

0 points · 27 days ago · edited 27 days ago

nah. end of swag start of cozy. that's asap rocky - as the main point of inspiration for the idea. the main point of influence.the youth look at him

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I mean he has a very good fashion sense but he’s not anywhere near one of the biggest fashion influencers to me. I guess it’s all subjective but I’d even put Virgil Abloh above him and even that is discrediting a lot of really great fashion designers

Musical.ly is the worst thing on this whole entire earth please fucking delete this

Andromeda... it's not good.

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Wow that is unpopular

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Did anyone else notice Darius getting surprised and dazed by the flash on Teddy’s camera? I know it’s kind of a natural reaction but I thought it was relating to Lakeith’s part in Get Out when the flash snaps him back to reality/his real conscience. Might be wrong but a pretty cool wee thing I noticed!

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11 comments

No. Just no. You are going to pull a muscle stretching that hard.

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Original Poster15 points · 1 month ago

I don’t think it’s that much of a reach, just a small thing they might’ve put in

Sunderland to win league one

West Brom to win championship

Arsenal to win the prem

gutted I can't make this game but if yous are ever wanting to start a Scotland supporters group I'm definitely keen

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Also

29 points · 1 month ago

Oh my fucking lord, it’s an internet moderator. Talking about “resigning”, some of you guys have been acting hysterical over the whole thing. Can’t imagine how you react to real world problems

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The whole thing is pretty embarrassing for everyone involved

Please Mr Jack I’m starving

Yup, well disappointed there's no Scotland dates.

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Scottish bois starving as per usual

If you are from the home nations you must be supporting England.

If you support a team not in England and are from the home nations your opinion is invalid as they are “tin pot” leagues

If you are foreign and support an English team you are plastic.

If you support Man U, Liverpool, Chelsea, Arsenal or Spurs but not from that area you are plastic

If you support city you are plastic.

You cannot talk about history as a Liverpool fan.

It is always England’s year.

Couple this with a general sense of entitlement and superiority and you can get why people dislike England.

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Most people from the home nations want England to get skelped

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