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Why the fuck are you commenting then? "OP, I don't know how to do thing, but you should do thing my way."

Why is the pic so blurry and shitty? Mom looks like a swamp monster.

Fuck off, you humorless scold.

There are thousands of annoying, pearl-clutching scolds like you across the country. Unfortunately, we can't put you in the pound. Lighten up


If you're referring to Microsoft's implementation of ANSI SQL, the correct form is "T-SQL", just as with Oracle it's "PL/SQL".

Beep, boop, synergy.

You should definitely tell him all the things he's doing incorrectly. Make sure you're pedantic and condescending, and if he happens to mention Linux, correct him with, "actually, it's GNU/Linux."

Yes, but cloud. See how I just totally destroyed your argument?

Are you running low on memory? What's your storage system's performance like? If the data being ingested is being transferred over the network, what's network performance like? Look for the 'simple' bottlenecks before you start exploring other, more complex possibilities.

Using software RAID in any context is a big mistake, OP. That's what storage controllers are for.

Migration team to project manager: "Your helpdesk was unresponsive to our change request, so the migration had to be delayed. As we explained to [CIO], our migrations are carried out on Friday evenings to minimize adverse impact to staff. Please advise as to next steps."

What a bunch of stupid jerks, thanking you for solving their problems. Fuck those assholes, right?!

You're probably in the wrong here. Resetting a user's password can have lots of unintended consequences. For example, if I reset a user's password in AD, their phone's connection to their Exchange mailbox stops working. If they're not immediately reachable, you've just killed that user's mobile access to their mailbox. Go ahead and do that to a C-level away at a conference, and see what happens. Part of your job is to maximize the user's productivity and convenience, not your own.

That's a lot of words to say "I'm a shitty troubleshooter."

It's almost like...capitalism is bad, OP.

It's Latvian, OP, so it's shit. Have you ever met a Latvian before? They're like discount-bin Russians who desperately want to be either German or Scandinavian.

Ninite is dogshit compared to PDQ, hope that helps OP.

I miss when XenApp was called MetaFrame, what a cool name.

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December 19, 2016
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