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14 points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago

I wonder then that if/when I have kids, they won’t have to worry about cultural conflicts at all. There will be racism of course, but I’m separating race from culture here.

Well, in the U.S., you can't overlook the role of skin color, no matter how culturally you're a part of America and no matter how many generations you've been here. Unlike the Irish and Italians who were eventually brought into the dominant racial fold, that won't be happening to us if we and our descendents don't have children with White Americans. Look at Black Americans in this country; they've been here as early as the Whites and they still deal with racism, after all these centuries and still being such a small percentage of the overall population. Even the president of the United States who was also half White American was called every name in the book for being Black, effectively galvanizing racists to vote for a completely unqualified candidate who has taken sides with White supremacists.

Our fate in the U.S. would probably be like the Guyanese Indians -- if immigration from South Asia to the U.S ceases, then probably no direct connection to South Asia, but our own distinct diasporan culture. NRIs and similar won't like hearing this, but a big problem with our diaspora in the U.S. is that the majority is overwhelmingly first generation immigrants and hence the umbilical cord with South Asia that's never cut and ensuing constant cultural clash.

2 points · 1 day ago

I agree with you for the most part, but barring a major restriction in legal immigration – which looks really unlikely – immigration from the subcontinent is only increasing.

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2 points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago

I agree, immigration from the Subcontinent to the U.S. is not going to experience a noticeable slow-down in the near future. So we can expect the issues we see now in our American diaspora to continue. In contrast, the only reason the Indo-Guyanese have been able to be their own thing without experiencing the cultural and identity issues we do is because their diaspora stopped receiving first gen and eventually had the opportunity to take root independently in the place they were. Literally in the nearly 10 years I've been in NYC have I never met an Indo-Caribbean Desi who experiences what we do. They all stick to themselves, have Desi names, but don't have the same identity and cultural conflicts that we who have parents directly from South Asia do.

24 points · 2 days ago

I really struggle with this sub and ask nyc. I’m liberal/work in politics and use Reddit as something of an escape from the political world. I mostly subscribe to nerd stuff and cute animals. It’s not a matter of being “triggered,” sometimes I just wanna talk about something else.

I thought these subs would be interesting since they focus on my hometown and Reddit has been so great in connecting me to people in the past. (I recently got a free engagement photo session from an awesome redditor!)

Instead, all I get when I come here are people angry at this great city and explaining it all with an ugly racist worldview. I’ve thought about making a post along the lines of:

1) if you hate this City... move. Just move. It’s a huge country and you’ll be a lot happier in a place where showtime doesn’t happen on the subway if that is really destroying your day/life.

2) consider other people’s lives... maybe the explanation for the thing you are witnessing isn’t the stupidly easy racist explanation that popped into your head. Maybe they’ve gone through things you don’t understand and you might have to think a bit more.

3) for the love of god... invest in some headphones. Lots of folk here triggered by something they heard on the subway. While you are in NYC at least try to be a good New Yorker and put in some headphones and ignore it. Don’t come here and be a racist about it.

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2 points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago

I’m liberal/work in politics and use Reddit as something of an escape from the political world.

Instead, all I get when I come here are people angry at this great city and explaining it all with an ugly racist worldview.

These people definitely exist in NYC though, so it's a slice of reality -- whether it's the_d and right-wing trolls and/or NYC residents -- and the problem is a lot of people can't escape them, either IRL or on Reddit. I'm a minority living here for nearly a decade and so I know first-hand. The other evening I met a German immigrant who's been here in NYC for 25 years, and when he got drunk, he told me that Mexican construction workers are "lazy n-word" who can't get anything done without the direction of a "White man telling them what to do" such as himself. And he tells me who's very obviously not White. No one should be surprised that there's racism IRL in NYC, there's plenty of it.

just as much of an issue there, check out any post about ICE or transgendered New Yorkers. The posters are the problem and there's a massive overlap. The mods just won't do anything about it.

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It is nearly not as much of an issue on r/newyorkcity as on r/nyc. There are the_d posters and right-wing trolls on r/newyorkcity (they often show up under my posts), but there is more moderation on that sub, and the vast majority of the trolls and brigaders post on r/nyc because it's the more popular nyc sub.

4'11" female here... this thread is making me feel much better about life. Thanks gentlemen

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4'11" female here... this thread is making me feel much better about life.

Were you led to believe otherwise? I'm 4'8" and never ever had a problem with men being turned off by my height. Well, in real life. On Reddit and online dating apps, I've seen men claim they need a minimum of 5'2" or something. But IRL men go wild for us short ladies.

I've been told to my face by guys that "wow you're really short" or "cute" they say cute like im a child or a animal is cute. As an adult being called cute feels meh. I'm 5'3" btw.

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At 5'3", I'm surprised you get told you're "really short" because that's close to the average height for a woman. In the U.S., at least.

There are definitely social, professional, and physical cons with being short -- I've got a whole list of them, ha ha -- but romantically and dating-wise, we don't face as many problems as tall women and short men do.

Men telling me I'm so short or tiny doesn't bother me at all because it's a fact and I've heard that my whole life. I don't get called "cute" as much as other compliments, but I can see how that can get grating.

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Fuck heels.

I'll never wear heels.

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I recently got rid of my one and only pair of heels. I don't know if I'm flat-footed or something, but it's always been so painful not only on my feet, but also my lower back. I'd actually love to be able to wear them and at 4'8", I sure could use the extra height, but the searing pain is too unbearable, plus I live in NYC and walk at least 2 miles per day, so I stick to pretty and comfortable flats.

Live in Palo Alto.

Literal shithole.

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Considering OP's replies on this thread, that's where he belongs.

Yeah I know how you feel, I've been told by "Irish" American tourists that they're more Irish than me despite them not sounding Irish, not having an Irish passport, not knowing a lick of Irish (and calling it Gaelic to sound cultured) and for some reason hating England to prove they're Irish which is just retarded and most importantly not ever living in Ireland. Actual Irish people consider me Irish but yanks from Boston and New York think they're the epitome of being Irish.

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Actual Irish people consider me Irish but yanks from Boston and New York think they're the epitome of being Irish.

In NYC, I meet a lot of Irish immigrants who have contempt for the "plastic paddies" who call themselves "Irish".

We hate them in Ireland as well, they're annoying. Theres regular satire posts about it as well. Its gas because their understanding of "Irish" culture is actually American, they wear green on St. Paddy's day (not Patty thats a yank bastardisation), eat corned beef and cabbage (which isn't how its done at all) not to mention green beer and mixing stout with other drinks and drinking Guinness from a can.

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2016/03/14/wwn-guide-to-smiling-politely-when-an-american-says-im-irish/

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2017/03/20/american-tourist-in-dublin-becomes-1st-one-ever-not-to-claim-irish-roots/

http://waterfordwhispersnews.com/2016/11/21/cure-for-being-american-still-decades-away-say-experts/

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/5gknqb/hey-americans-please-stop-pretending-to-be-irish-317

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Yes, the Irish immigrants tell me that they're irritating in Ireland. I've heard the same thing from the Scottish. I have come across Irish Americans feeling hurt that actual Irish don't consider them Irish, like feeling rejected, ha ha. I really don't understand how they can call themselves "Irish" at this point anyway even ethnically because they're so "mixed" with other ethnicities at this point (hence the "I'm 1/16 Native American, 3/4 Irish, 2/3 Scottish, etc" that Europeans mock relentlessly on the shitamericanssay sub).

I think the way Americans identity with their ancestry rather than the country they were born and raised in confuses/perplexes non-Americans, and for good reason. I think it's very divisive, not to mention frustrating. I was born and raised in the U.S. but my fellow Americans will always see me as "Indian". I think it's very good that in Ireland, you are considered "Irish", because you are.

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