How was your self-esteem affected by online dating, if at all? by _RE_TARDIS in AskMen

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm also in NYC, but older than you -- I'm in my late 30s. You are gorgeous, and trust me, you are not the only "total package" woman in her 20s (I think it's worse for you ladies) and 30s I know in NYC who experiences what you have. I actually know more single women than paired up, and it seems like the more they have everything together, the harder it becomes. It does not help knowing there are unavailable men who are very willing to cheat, or coupled up and still actively looking to "see what's out there." Obviously if you have glaring issues that come in between you and long-term love then work on them, but don't take all this so personally and think something is "wrong" with you. We live in unique demographic context where even being nearly perfect doesn't necessarily translate into having what you long for.

I took the plunge and booked my lifelong dream trip to film in Antarctica. The best 12 days of travel I've ever had. by muzy61 in travel

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You lived the dream!

I got into the idea of going to the Antarctica after watching the documentary Antarctica: A Year on Ice, but the prices are expensive. And it's also the windiest place on Earth, and I'm not sure how I'd cope as a short, lightweight woman when even NYC's gust winds make me miserable.

I am in a little relationship Predicament, please help me understand by AnonymousName1994 in ABCDesis

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The women I have been dating for has been a secret from my family for 3.5 years

For the past 8 months or so I was a shitty boyfriend to my partner. I was not able to give my partner the time of the day where should would require emotional support

So you hid a woman you love from your family and before she broke up with you, you weren't even a good partner.

And proceeding forward, my parents were supportive.... I was wrong in every level.

So then i texted my partner that we need to meet up

Now that you got your parents' approval, you finally decide to do and be what she wanted to see before. Basically, you have no courage to stand up for who you want and who is your partner, independent of what your parents want. You just seem untrustworthy. I would react just like your ex did.

But at the same time, I feel like i have lost her.

I think you losing her is a logical and unsurprising sequence.

I just dont want to be waiting for too long for her.

Don't. And it's clear she's not waiting for you either, she's told you repeatedly she wants "breaks" from you and she finds you immature and "annoying".

should i pick up my eggs and learn to move on


Also this is my last chance for trying to have a love marriage. After this I dont want to try dating again. I Will get arranged off and put all of my attention on career development.

Talk about fulfilling stereotypes -- date a non-Desi person and hide them from the family for years, then run back "home" to get married.

How do I stop stressing about being single/not getting laid? by pw1016 in AskMen

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is it so hard to meet women for a FWB?

Despite what Reddit will have you believe, most women do not want a halfway "relationship" where a guy is getting regular sex without any commitment (i.e. the perks of a relationship without any of the responsibilities), nor do they want to waste their time with someone who thinks she is good enough for sex but not a relationship, especially if they are like most normal people who end up getting attached ("catching the feels") to someone after having sex with them.

All this casual sex stuff you read on Reddit about people having had countless partners and having lots of casual sex is not as pervasive as it seems. There is a prevailing hook-up culture but in reality, people on average have less partners than previous generations and the average number of partners in a lifetime is 7 for women, 6 for men.

I’m almost exclusively into older women (I’m 35, but usually like women in their 50s...don’t ask why) but I have a hard time meeting ones online that like me.

Because most women like men who they can relate to. As someone who is long term relationship-oriented, I really cannot see someone 15 years younger than me as any kind of potential.

Gentlemen, does a low number of sexual partners for your lady worry you? by songsofstone in AskMenOver30

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good luck! It's hard to find that though in our age group if you're looking on dating apps.

Dating Advice: Getting Back in the game by BareBearBurger in AskNYC

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hop onto dating apps. It is true that in general, people in NYC proper swipe left on those outside their boroughs, but I, in Queens, personally didn't on people from Long Island and NJ (depending on where they lived), so there has to be others like me.

If you spend most of your time in Queens or Manhattan, maybe just move there. Also, I second the idea behind u/Theburbsnxt about dating someone from Bayside, or another Queens suburban community where it's more car-centric and it's normal to drive to-and-fro.

Queens Comfort is closing by soldierscuzzy in astoria

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Am I the only one who finds this scheme obnoxious, not only the strategy itself but also the videos? The other day I saw a video of that Rosario guy booty dancing barefoot on top of peanuts. In another video he was dancing topless with peanuts shooting out from his fingers. None of this is cute or clever.

Gentlemen, does a low number of sexual partners for your lady worry you? by songsofstone in AskMenOver30

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apparently these days having a low partner count is a negative, indicative of an "unhealthy" view on sex, "inexperience," and even a number like 20 by age of 31 is "too low" (see the comment under this post). I don't get this at all. I personally don't consider myself to be "sex-negative" or "inexperienced", it's quality over quantity for me, and I'd rather be with someone who feels the same and hasn't "lost count" of the people he's been with.

How to be gf material? by Komoritane in AskMenOver30

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Compared to Irishmen -- or any other type of man, really -- in general, American men are much, much more singularly focused on obtaining no-strings-attached sex (and with as many people as possible) as opposed to being relationship-oriented, which turns everything into a game. That's why we have a "dating culture" -- and a very bizarre one where it's totally normal to date multiple people at the same time and one is free to have sex with others until you "discuss the relationship" to establish "exclusivity" -- that you all don't have.

How to be gf material? by Komoritane in AskMenOver30

[–]IntrepidBeachcomber 7 points8 points  (0 children)

willing to pursue a guy, lead sexual encounters, etc.

Very unpopular advice on Reddit, but don't chase guys because if you have to, then you're going for low effort guys who just want to hook up with you until someone better (for them) as girlfriend material comes along. Let someone demonstrate interest in you. Note by this I do not mean playing games like "playing hard to get" or having men chase you. Just let someone show genuine interest and make moves to be with you to ensure there is mutual attraction and interest.