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"Hey bro. Wanna fuckin' go? I'll whoop for fuckin ass"

Chris Brown's obese brother

And watch them abandon it 4 months later for Snowball - the newest gaming service on the market

2.7k points · 5 months ago · edited 5 months ago

Japanese kid's first day with me as his teacher, decides to show off in front of his friends.

Japanese kid:"Can you read Japanese?"

Shows me a piece of paper with 'manko' written on it.

'Manko' means 'cunt' in Japanese.

My answer (in Japanese): "Yes, I can read that. Let's show that to your homeroom teacher, and then let's show it to the school principal"

Kid: "cries"

Homeroom teacher: "Why did you think that was okay?"

Kid: "cries"

We didn't tell the school principal, but instead of looking like a badass in front of his friends, the kid looked like a crying little pussy.

I guess he assumed that I couldn't read Japanese.

Edit: I'm not Japanese, I used to live in Japan and taught English in the Japanese education system.

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Even if you couldn't read Japanese, it's always a 99% chance that the kid wrote some kind of swear in their language

I would like to unsubscribe from syphilis facts.

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You are now subscribed to STI Monthly Magazine

3.0k points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

I spent a good 10 minutes wondering how having a kid resulted in a flat tire.

Well that blew up... Did not expect that.

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You Sir, are watching the wrong porn

4.8k points · 6 months ago · edited 6 months ago

My wife's aunt...took her kid to the mall, to buy a Christmas present for her pedophile ass boyfriend (got nothing for her kids btw), and got mad when one of her kids got mad about it, and so sent her to sit in the car, in the parking lot of the mall...by herself.

This woman has 3 amazing kids, from 3 different fathers, this woman should not be having children.

Edit: Seems to have gotten a fair amount of attention so let me tell you how the story ends for this event. The little girl got back to her car, she has a cellphone for emergencies, and happened to have it on her at the time so she called my sister-in-law (her godmother) who immediately got super pissed off, and went to pick her up. When she got there to pick her up, she told the little girl to NOT tell her mother that she just got picked up. Later on the girl's mother went to the car only to see her little girl was not there, NOW she started to freak out. She started calling around asking if anyone had seen her kid, everyone said no, everyone also knew what she did and who had the kid. When she REALLY started freaking out they finally called her and told her where the girl was. When she talked about how concerned she was, no one held back in reminding her that she's wasn't too concerned when she put her daughter in danger in the first place.

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this woman should not be having children

Sadly, the bar for having children is set extremely low

A fairly well known guy around the school didn’t have condoms so he used a shopping bag.

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Improvising. Brave man. I like him

It could for your phone though, which isn't a dedicated smart-home device and doesn't use that type of hardware config. Arguably it would be more useful for your phone because my friend has a Home at his house and I invariably forget about it and engage it whenever I try to use Assistant for something on my phone.

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Didn't Motorola have something like this a while ago? Forgive me if I'm wrong

Dunno

  • Sent from my Pixel 2
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Obligatory remember when Google made fun of apple for doing it

For some reason I read that in Owen Wilson's voice

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Wow...

Man of Steel would be much more entertaining if it had Henry Cavil's Character from "The Man From UNCLE"

Avocados taste good. Personally they taste like churned vomit to me, but that's just my opinion

Heat resistant sperm to move the balls inside.

On a related note - retractable dick and controlled fertility

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

Here's the thing for me - If the AAA game's online scene is dead after a year or 2; I feel like I was better off not buying it.

It's not that I would never buy a single player game that lasts less than a year. It's that if a multiplayer-focused game is dead after a year, there was probably something very wrong with it or it was just another generic multiplayer game.

Just my opinions though

2 points · 6 months ago

Didn't LG come up with something similar a couple of years late? At least there were some rumors.

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LG G5 - Good phone overall. Modularity concept that felt like a beta

Comment deleted6 months ago

Damn. Nani did a really bad job raising her

When someone fires back 100x worse when playfully being made fun of.

(Stupid) Example: "You're wearing that out?" "Maybe if you wore clothes like this your ex wouldn't have cheated on you."

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"Wow dad! Drinking coffee again?"

"Your mother tried to get an abortion multiple times"

That was the problem. They arnt superheroes. They are fucking bad guys. Let them be bad guys saving the day.

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Another thing - why does it always have to be "the world is fucking ending and all life will be destroyed if you fail"?

Why can't it be just a simple recon job with stakes? We'd still be invested

Only thing I have ever wanted more was to see Deadpool make an appearance in an avengers movie. Not even as an actual character or with lines, just somewhere in the background of a scene you see Deadpool in the distance killing someone brutally and then dragging their lifeless corpse away all while the avengers are talking or something

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Or he just walks into the avengers headquarters holding a bowl of nachos, casually interacting with the confused avengers

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Vermin Supreme - the rightful President of the USA.

THE SHARPEST TOOL

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IN THE SHED

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