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Im gonna need to see your zooming papers

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158 points · 5 hours ago · edited 4 hours ago


I, umm, left it in other pantses.

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Original Poster1 point · 20 hours ago

I see you're great with horses. Only great people are great with horses. Want to be my stable master?

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Yes, I would be honored to be the King’s stablemastsf

You look like you could be the next King of Orange.


What is the Orthodox Church doctrine's opinion on a spouse divorcing the other spouse because of constant rape and beatings?

Obviously, most of the Protestant I asked tell me "You have to try to reconcile your differences and if you divorce, you can't get remarried."

Two orthodox priests at my church, who I asked separately, both stated that in a case of a spouse raping and beating the other spouse, they absolutely can get divorced (while still a sin, it is a justified one). One priest stated the reason is that suffering is Christlike, but no spouse should have to suffer that way, and the rape and beatings are also a violation of the marriage promises and therefore, the promise is no longer valid. They also stated the spouse can get remarried for that reason, while in any other case of divorce, remarriage is forbidden.

They also stated that because of the situation, reconciliation could be completely impossible for reasons of the spouse's safety, and also because if the spouse is in prison, it will be incredibly difficult to ever reconcile.


If the majority of Christians actually believe that a spouse who is raped and beaten constantly can't remarry because the other spouse was a sick, sadistic fuck...I don't want to be a Christian.

EDIT: An unrelated question: Is someone who claims to know exactly what the scripture means, and knows exactly what every passage and verse should be interpreted as, clearly wrong? Surely no one knows EXACTLY what the scripture means. The person said there is no interpretation when it comes to the bible./

I'd do a search first because there have been a number of threads regarding divorce and annulment.

But what was said above is correct: you can leave, even divorce if the situation is that dire, but in order for you to remarry in the Church you must obtain an annulment. If you marry outside the Church and engage in sexual relations you are committing adultery. There is disagreement on whether it is now too easy to obtain an annulment, if those who decide such things are permitting annulments for "weak" arguments for why the marriage was invalid, but whatever.

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Original Poster1 point · 1 day ago

I did ask it if, you’d like to go look in my history :)

You are far braver than I. I really need to stop going there- it's a spiritual black hole more frequently than not. Obsessing over sins takes away from the ability to focus on one's relationship with God. But that's just me.

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Original Poster1 point · 21 hours ago

My only qualm with that line of thinking is this: a sin is a sin, and how can we not be holy unless we obsess and constantly make sure we’re not sinning?

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An Orthodox Catechumen with questions on divorce and remarriage in cases of abuse.

I'm sorry if my theology is wrong, I'm new to go easy on me here...

Hey guys, sorry for intruding...

So I am only a few months into Christianity, and I ran into something troubling yesterday:

A Calvinist (I was told they're kind of out there...but who am I to judge them? I know nothing about them except they're protestant and based on John Calvin's teachings [I think?]) told me that if a spouse is constantly beaten and raped by her husband, she is obligated to try to reconcile her differences with the husband. She kept saying that if you pray about it, God will fix it. Only after significant attack of her opinion (not by me), did she finally admit divorce was an option. This isn't really relevant to Catholics, but it sets the tone. Then she told me you can't get remarried either. That really made me about lose it.

Now, I was disturbed greatly by this, as any "outsider" would be. As a victim of abuse as a child, the idea that a woman would be punished for her sadistic husband hurting her is beyond my comprehension. So I told my friend that if the majority of Christians actually believe this, I want nothing to do with Christianity (I have my limits. Call me a heretic, blasphemer, whatever you want, there are certain things I will not accept, and complete cruelty is one.). I asked five of my friends, and the majority of them protestant, and all except one said no exceptions, you can't remarry, and that a marriage is a promise for life and it's a "Well, you're screwed, sucks to be you." situation. How is this not cruelty.

Now I'm talking to a traditional Catholic girl (by traditional, I mean she likes the old fashioned lifestyle, like traditional gender roles etc.) and she's telling me that marriage is for life and that annulments are incredibly difficult to get and that they can only be given when there's proof the man lied during his vows. She's also telling me that any woman who gets a divorce and remarries, no matter the case, is going to hell, because of unrepentant adultery.

Now Orthodox doctrine says that in cases of abuse, you should try to get them to reconcile but the safety of the woman comes first, and if she wants a divorce, almost no bishop anywhere would deny that divorce, and in certain circumstances (If the bishop determines that the abused not being able to remarry would put an extreme burden on them [Let's say they wanted kids their whole life, and the abusive spouse never gave them kids, not being able to remarry would crush any chance of her having children), then they will allow the abused to be remarried within the church, but deny them communion for a while. The abuser will never be allowed to remarry within the church.

Do Catholics believe that is heresy? How hard is it to get an annulment in cases of's hard to get proof of abuse that is more than words? Would someone in a situation like this go to hell? What is the Catholic opinion on this situation?

12 points · 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago

It is certainly heretical to believe that someone can be validly married and then go onto have a second valid marriage while the original spouse is alive.

That being said, an annulment can be had if it can be shown that the woman got married under duress or without full knowledge of the husbands issues that he had at the time of the marriage.

But, supposing that a healthy man and woman get married under normal conditions, and then over the course of time the man becomes abusive and impossible to live with, the woman can civilly divorce and separate from the husband, but can not get married again while he is still alive.

This is certainly an awful situation for the woman, but to suggest that is the Church that is being cruel is absurd. It is the husband that is being cruel. The woman should pray for her husband to get better and for his salvation.

The alternative is much more cruel. Imagine a man no longer likes his wife. So, normally this is not a case for divorce, right? But under the Orthodox teaching, the man can simply start hitting and abusing her, and now, viola, he can get a divorce. That's a pretty nasty incentive you got going on there, wherein a man is incentivized to abuse his wife in order to get away from her and to marry someone else.

The thing to keep in mind is that these laws are given by God to the Church, and in practice they exist to protect the woman from the abuse and neglect of her husband, which sadly is very common in many cultures and throughout history. The fact that a man is required to stay with one woman no matter what without remarriage, under most circumstances, puts a much greater burden upon the man than the woman. Throughout history, the biggest problem with marriages is men abandoning women for other more attractive or younger women and neglecting and abandoning his former spouse and family. Only in modern times do we think of a wife leaving her husband for another husband as at all common. This is also an type for the love between God and Holy Mother Church. There is one Church and One God, and they do not abandon one another even though we sometimes feel like God has abandon us or we sometimes/often abandon God, we are always called to return to God, and God never actually abandons us, but is with us always.

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Original Poster2 points · 1 day ago

According to the church, the abuser can never remarry and remain a part of the church. I don’t know if you mean get her away by making her be able to get remarried

9 points · 1 day ago

According to the Church, neither can ever get remarried. I don't understand your second sentence, sorry.

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Original Poster1 point · 1 day ago

Oh sorry. Bad phrasing. Let’s say the woman was afraid to get divorced because she could never get remarried. Beating her would solve the only reason why she would stay.

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I got told that I'm officially a Catechumen now! The priest said I will learn the prayer in the next few weeks and that we'll start meeting every other week!

you’re honestly not fat at all, you look like a very healthy man to me!!

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Original Poster1 point · 2 days ago

I'm trying to be(: I'm starting to eat more salad and granola instead of my typical chocolate.

Handsome guy for sure. However if you feel fat maybe you should lose some weight, for yourself. That's what I'm doing right now. If you need advice you can message me

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Original Poster1 point · 2 days ago

Thank you!(:

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Dude, I swear that's one of the cleanest bathrooms I've seen.

Also, dig the hair. Wish I could have hair that nice.

I swear you look just like my roommate in college. He was a cool dude. I’m sure you are too!

Whats it like to still be a virgin?

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Original Poster1 point · 5 days ago

I wouldn’t know. Those women of the night sure are expensive

I can't tell whether you're half Asian or it's just a developmental disorder

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Original Poster1 point · 5 days ago

I’m not Asian at all and I was born premature, so it’s definitely the latter.

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Original Poster2 points · 6 days ago

Awesome dude! For some reason that makes me smile, and I like it.

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I make that exact same face a lot of the times in pictures. Twinning.

Original Poster2 points · 6 days ago

Also do you mean handsome squidward?

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Original Poster1 point · 6 days ago

HAHAHAHA WELLL SHIT, it's an interesting compliment, forsure put a smile on my face thanks a lot!

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Damn man. Well, if its any consolation. I went through the same same thing after a 4.5 year relationship with someone I truly loved. But we ended it because of Religious differences.

She literally started seeing someone about 2 weeks later and then 9 months later they got engaged.

Felt like a stab in the heart. However 4 years later, I hear from mutual friends that she is miserable, meanwhile, I am having the time of my life. Couldn't be happier.

Things get better friend. I promise. You can do this!

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The best revenge is to live a good life.

I’m sure you don’t mean to get revenge, and wish the best for her, but the same principal applies.

You look adorable!

On a side note, what other people think of your looks doesn’t matter, because everybody in the world could think you’re not attractive, except for one person. That one person is the one you marry. Do you really care what all the other people think? (I’m not implying no one finds you attractive, it’s just a parable)

Aw, I just saw the little drawings on the paper!(:

Your eyes sparkle in that picture. They look so happy.

You look so deep in thought. Its pretty awesome.

The next three years will be better, just don’t focus on the past, focus on the future (easier said than done, I know.)

It’ll get better!

With a smolder like that, you’ll find a girl better than she ever was!

Dude, I honestly really like your hair.

Just play the guitar, a ton. Play sad songs if you have to. That might help. Or happy songs.

Maybe try La Bamba?

I’m Ben, I’m 21, I love god, horses, archery and learning. Feel free to PM me!
Cake day
February 1, 2018
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