Obviously, most of the Protestant I asked tell me "You have to try to reconcile your differences and if you divorce, you can't get remarried."
Two orthodox priests at my church, who I asked separately, both stated that in a case of a spouse raping and beating the other spouse, they absolutely can get divorced (while still a sin, it is a justified one). One priest stated the reason is that suffering is Christlike, but no spouse should have to suffer that way, and the rape and beatings are also a violation of the marriage promises and therefore, the promise is no longer valid. They also stated the spouse can get remarried for that reason, while in any other case of divorce, remarriage is forbidden.
They also stated that because of the situation, reconciliation could be completely impossible for reasons of the spouse's safety, and also because if the spouse is in prison, it will be incredibly difficult to ever reconcile.
If the majority of Christians actually believe that a spouse who is raped and beaten constantly can't remarry because the other spouse was a sick, sadistic fuck...I don't want to be a Christian.
EDIT: An unrelated question: Is someone who claims to know exactly what the scripture means, and knows exactly what every passage and verse should be interpreted as, clearly wrong? Surely no one knows EXACTLY what the scripture means. The person said there is no interpretation when it comes to the bible./
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I'm sorry if my theology is wrong, I'm new to Christianity...so go easy on me here...
Hey guys, sorry for intruding...
So I am only a few months into Christianity, and I ran into something troubling yesterday:
A Calvinist (I was told they're kind of out there...but who am I to judge them? I know nothing about them except they're protestant and based on John Calvin's teachings [I think?]) told me that if a spouse is constantly beaten and raped by her husband, she is obligated to try to reconcile her differences with the husband. She kept saying that if you pray about it, God will fix it. Only after significant attack of her opinion (not by me), did she finally admit divorce was an option. This isn't really relevant to Catholics, but it sets the tone. Then she told me you can't get remarried either. That really made me about lose it.
Now, I was disturbed greatly by this, as any "outsider" would be. As a victim of abuse as a child, the idea that a woman would be punished for her sadistic husband hurting her is beyond my comprehension. So I told my friend that if the majority of Christians actually believe this, I want nothing to do with Christianity (I have my limits. Call me a heretic, blasphemer, whatever you want, there are certain things I will not accept, and complete cruelty is one.). I asked five of my friends, and the majority of them protestant, and all except one said no exceptions, you can't remarry, and that a marriage is a promise for life and it's a "Well, you're screwed, sucks to be you." situation. How is this not cruelty.
Now I'm talking to a traditional Catholic girl (by traditional, I mean she likes the old fashioned lifestyle, like traditional gender roles etc.) and she's telling me that marriage is for life and that annulments are incredibly difficult to get and that they can only be given when there's proof the man lied during his vows. She's also telling me that any woman who gets a divorce and remarries, no matter the case, is going to hell, because of unrepentant adultery.
Now Orthodox doctrine says that in cases of abuse, you should try to get them to reconcile but the safety of the woman comes first, and if she wants a divorce, almost no bishop anywhere would deny that divorce, and in certain circumstances (If the bishop determines that the abused not being able to remarry would put an extreme burden on them [Let's say they wanted kids their whole life, and the abusive spouse never gave them kids, not being able to remarry would crush any chance of her having children), then they will allow the abused to be remarried within the church, but deny them communion for a while. The abuser will never be allowed to remarry within the church.
Do Catholics believe that is heresy? How hard is it to get an annulment in cases of abuse...it's hard to get proof of abuse that is more than words? Would someone in a situation like this go to hell? What is the Catholic opinion on this situation?
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