Congrats on you decision. Tapering never worked for me...I didn't have the willpower. Once I let myself have a few drinks, I could never stop. You're in the right place. Good luck!
Alcohol creates and fills its own void.
What you are feeling is completely normal. That emptiness left behind after the alcohol has dried up can be quite overwhelming. Therapy is a step in the right direction. Try not to beat yourself up too hard about it. Think about what things interest you. Try to brainstorm some hobbies that you might like. When I first quit, I had no idea what I was going to do with all of the new extra time I had on my hands. Now I feel like I barely have enough hours in the day to get the things done that I want to do. Hang in there. It gets easier.
Biden is a fucking creep, go watch the videos of him kissing and touching little girls if you don't believe me
edit: btw I'm not a trump fan and this has nothing to do with politics, so for those of you replying pointing to Trump I'm not disagreeing with that
When he pulls out that giant pic of Cohen's face lmao
Hi Papi, I wonder if you & your wife are using the term in different ways?
Now, I'm new to all this (congrats, you chased me out of lurking - I'm on 40 days), and for the record haven't been to AA, but someone here mentioned being a dry drunk, so I looked it up a few days ago.
AA seems to define it as someone who is not actively doing the 12 steps.
Other recovery websites described it as not drinking, but still displaying the unhealthy thought patterns that you had while drinking. They agree that it is important to keep working on building healthy attitudes & thought patterns. This really resonated with me.
So, I ask myself "am I actively building healthy thought patterns, or am I thinking like I used to?". My answer right now is "heck no, not even scratched the surface, but I'm working on it" :)
Thanks so much for all the comments and support you offer here. Ima off to get ma badge now ...
Yes from what I gathered, members in AA label an alcoholic in recovery who is not a part of AA or doing the 12 steps a "dry drunk" or they say that person is "white-knuckling" sobriety. AA feels that the 12 steps help a recovering alcoholic address the underlying issues of their problem. Although I don't want to generalize, I have gotten the sense that some AA members look down on people like me. I actually made this exact post over at r/alcoholicsanonymous (which I have since deleted) and received some very different answers than what I have found here. I think my wife was just taking a stab at me in the heat of the moment, but does think that the 12 steps or something similar would be beneficial for me. Going to more meetings certainly wouldn't hurt. I've been thinking about looking into Refuge Recovery. The Buddhist/mindful approach sounds much more appealing to me.
Congrats on 40 days! I'm so happy my experiences can help others on this journey...it feels really good to hear that.
I'll preface this by saying I'm not married nor in AA so my opinion on this may be irrelevant. I'm sharing my two cents from what I believe to be a human decency perspective.
I think you're justified in being hurt and I do think it's reasonable to wish your wife find another sponsor. Ultimately it's her decision, but I think your feelings are fair and it's an option you could suggest in order to find a sustainable resolve on the matter. I think your marriage prevails her relationship with her sponsor, if she can find another one.
I don't know if I agree that the sponsor should have to be married but they should definitely respect boundaries. This sponsor clearly crossed the line.
Take the situation out of the drinking world, imagine the problem was about weight. You and your wife are getting fit together, you're doing at home videos and she goes to the gym. Her personal trainer tells her she should be concerned you're still a skinny fat person because you're not on his regiment. That would be out of line and it wouldn't be unreasonable for you to be offended and request she not see this trainer anymore. Same goes for this sponsor. I get that it's her program but her program should never get in the way of being a decent person.
Great analogy. Thank you for that thoughtful reply.
Trust in this name.
I,ve had a few beers (as I'm sure you can understand) so stay with me. I promise, this won't take long.
Mueller. I am extremely confident that you your children, your children's children, and possibly even their children will know this name. And if the faith that so many people have in this man, from the top to the very bottom, is to be trusted... he will be held in the likeness of some of the greatest Americans since the day this country was born.
Now, while you're waiting for him to do his job, why don't you all go out and do your job,
I named my new puppy Mueller.
No, facebook just gave him the same info for free. Step out of your echo chamber and use critical thinking. They lauded Obama in 2012 for this same stuff. Your President, Donald Trump, has only done the same things his predecessors did. The MSM is lying to you.
Mueller is coming.
Go to your doctor and be honest. The consumption of a handle every 3 days will certainly give you withdrawals. Come up with a plan. Your doctor can provide you with medication to help you through. I did not have the willpower to do the taper method. As soon as I have a few drinks in me, I don't stop.
I've been using the insight timer for the past month and can't seem to make it past 5 minutes. It's honestly a grueling experience for me which is why I recently abandoned it. Not sure what it is im missing. I want all the things you're talking about!
Have you tried guided meditations? They might be a little easier. Now that the weather is getting warmer where I live, I love meditating outside. The surrounding noises of the birds, dogs barking, crickets, and even sirens help me get into the zone much more easily than sitting in a silent room.
Yeah, maybe guided is the way to go. Silence works against me, I think. And you know I never thought about trying it outside. I just moved to the east coast and live next to the beach. That may just be an excellent idea. It sounds peaceful already. Thanks friend.
Definitely an excellent idea. The beach?! I'm jealous.
Oh yeah. I was 38 when I finally quit for good. Drinking had lost its fun, and my hangovers became unbearable with massive amounts of anxiety. So not worth it. Unfortunately by the time I realized I wanted to quit, I was thoroughly addicted. Thank GUS (Great Universal Spirit) I managed to break free.
OWN IT. Tell as many friends as you can right off the bat. Being open and honest with your close friends will make you more accountable and give you extra support. New Orleans is a magical city, but it is the belly of the binge-drinking beast. Plus a wedding? You are really taking on a tremendous challenge, I'm not gonna lie...but you can do it, if you really put your mind to it. Just remind yourself how amazing you'll feel every morning while everyone else will be in misery. Wake up early, and explore the French Quarter. Stuff yourself silly with beignets! While everyone else is hungover, you'll have lots of time to enjoy the city. Good luck!